Original subtitles

Ah... another great turkey sandwich from the

"Sub Marine."

Italian roll, spicy mustard, mayo, no cheese, no

meddling vegetables. You know, you might

be the perfect food.

I like you, Dan. You're always right.

Thanks, talking sandwich.

Ugh... I gotta stop eating candy for dinner.

Shut up! We're almost there.

What the--

What's going on here? What happened to my

sandwich shop?

Bonjour Monsieur, welcome to CafÈ-Pure,

a fancy restaurant specializing in French cuisine.

We have replaced the, What you call it,

sandwich soldier?

The "Sub Marine!" They had the world's best turkey sandwich.

How's your turkey sandwich?

Monsieur, we do not serve le turkey sandwich at CafÈ-Pure.

What? No turkey sandwich?

I thought you said this was a restaurant!

What do you have?

Voila!

This is in French! I can't read French!

What's the problem here?

The Monsieur wishes a turkey sandwich.

Wah! You disgust me.

My entire menu is a personal vision of culinary genius.

Well why don't you personally visualize me a turkey sandwich?

Ahh! Oof!

FANNNCCCYYY RESTAURRRRANNNNT!!!

And one and two and three and four.

Oh yeah, feel the burn!

I'll get it!

The "Sub Marine" has been exterminated and some Cafe

crapp has moved in.

I need your help getting revenge.

Come on!

Hold on. Do you mean Cafe Pure'?

That new fancy restaurant?

You knew about this? And you didn't inform me?

That, sir, is obstruction of justice.

There have been ads everywhere for the

last two months for Cafe Pureí.

Did you just say Cafe Pureí?

The new place by Jacques Pureí, the world famous chef?

Yes.

Oh. Hey Chris, do you mind getting me another towel?

Uh, sure. I'll be right back.

Dan, is Chris taking me to Cafe Puree?

Um...

I knew it! It's our anniversary tonight!

I completely forgot.

Um...

Do not tell Chris I forgot!

He's very sensitive.

Um...

You hear me monkey?! Do not tell him!

Elise, you're hurting me.

Here's your towel, gorgeous.

Thanks! Guess I'd better go get ready for tonight.

What does she mean "get ready for tonight?"

Oh no! I forgot our anniversary!

What am I gonna do?!

Why not take her to Cafe Puree? I hear it's fancy.

But that's the most exclusive restaurant in town! It takes

months to get a reservation!

You have to help me!

Chris, you're hurting me.

I always help you with everything!

Get me a reservation at Cafe Pureí.

I don't care how, just do it.

This is going to be the best anniversary ever.

Um... why is Dan coming?

Why is having a third wheel a bad thing?

Third wheels provide stability.

That's just physics.

Can't have too much physics.

Sup.

I'll check on our reservation.

Why don't you guys have a drink at the bar?

What's wrong with Dan tonight?

What do you mean? He's being nice.

Yeah.

Excuse moi. Monsieur! You cannot be in this lobby

without proper attire!

Hmph!

Good evening. Welcome to Cafe Pure'.

Do you have a reservation tonight, Mr...?

Dufrane. Yes, of course.

Very good, Mr. Dufrane.

Very good indeed.

Park it.

Oh, that. Car's, uh, haunted.

Right this way, Mr. Dufrane.

Dufrane?

Pseudonym.

So I don't get mobbed by my public.

And where'd you get that blazer?

Where'd you get that dress?

What's with all the questions?

Um... I'll be back. I need to... use the bathroom.

To tinkle.

Excuse me,

I spilled something on my rag.

Can you tell me if it's chloroform?

You! Smaller portions!

You! Bigger plates!

You! I don't like you.

What's this?

Le soup du jour.

It needs ice cream, don't you think?

But, Monsieur--

I studied soup du jours for five years in Paris.

Did you?

Um, no.

Ice cream! Lots of it! Now!

Chef Pureí! Chef Pureí! Nearly every patron is

demanding the chef!

Ahh, my favorite part. Time to meet my adoring

public.

It's him! Chef Pureí!

This ice cream noodle soup is inspired.

Those idiots will eat anything if it's served on a

fancy plate!

Hey, where are you taking our fluffy friend?

Skinning station.

Haven't you seen tonight's specials?

First they take my turkey sandwich, now

they're cooking pets?

This ends now.

Check it out! They give you two forks.

Finally, a place that'll let you eat two-fisted.

I have to say, Chris, this is a great

anniversary surprise.

It is a great surprise-- But not to me.

Not a surprise to me--no. I could never forget our

anniversary.

Me neither. It's etched in my brain.

Mademoiselle, ice water?

Yes, please.

Thanks.

Not quite finished.

A restaurant lives and dies by its specials.

And tonight, this one dies.

Go forth, adorable creatures!

Oops.

Well, at least the lobsters will have full, happy lives.

Go forth, noble bugs of the sea!

You guys are all my friends now!

Except you. You're dinner.

Treason. My biggest pet peeve.

Honey, I'm home!

Sandwich?

Sandwich? What's going on?

Things haven't been right between us for a

long time.

But--can't we talk about this?

It's over.

I've been having cole slaw on the side.

Wha--where am I?

You've been in a coma for twelve years.

Twelve years?!

Don't listen to him.

He's been down here too long.

Chef Pure' threw you down here ten minutes ago.

What is this place?

This is the dungeon.

Where we do the dirty work.

This is where you go when you make a mistake.

Yes, we were all sous chefs once.

I over-salted the vichyssoise.

I overcooked a cream brule.

It only takes one mistake to end up here.

So why don't you just quit?

That's how I deal with adversity.

No no. It's an honor to work for Chef Puree.

Are you kidding me?

The guy's a jerk!

You're just trapped in a prison of the mind.

Also a real prison. See this giant vault door?

Wait... I'm stuck here forever?

No! Just until you die.

Ah, Perfect.

Are we ready to order?

Can I get a refill on my water first?

For a long time, I didn't believe in love.

I didn't believe in anything. But my first bite of that

turkey sandwich, I knew I had tasted something special.

Ah, I once had a sandwich like that.

But the "Sub Marine" was the greatest sandwich

shop in the world!

And, the employees were happy.

Probably because there were no dungeons.

No dungeons?

But who shreds their lettuce?

They all do.

Everyone works together.

Dan is a genius!

How long does it take to make a meal?

Isn't that their thing?

Yeah, and how long does it take Dan to tinkle?

Le Foie Gras?

Oh, we're sharing.

That's it?

That's what you get for two hundred dollars?

Ohhh, I imagined two hundred dollars worth

of food would come out on some sort of giant

novelty plate.

You're positive there's no way through the vault?

Oui.

The vault door is always guarded by two sous chefs

with a taste for blood.

What about the dumbwaiter?

Which one?

They're all dumb.

If you want to be ambushed by forty chefs,

go for it.

Many men have tried le dumbwaiter escape,

only to become tomorrow's special instead.

Another reason Cafe Puree must go!

Some American pig just ordered an entire fudge

cheesecake for dessert.

That sounds like Chris!

With 'Happy Anniversary'

written in ranch dressing.

That's definitely Chris!

There's got to be a way for a person to get out of here.

There is a way.

Do you just wait in the shadows?

Elders told of a chosen one. A tiny, angry prophet

who could fit through the vent that connects us to

the men's room.

That gives me an idea. And explains the smell

down here.

It's about time.

I know. An hour for dessert?

Who do they think they are?

Uh, honey? Look.

"Happy Anniversary Chris and Elise.

Chris, meet me in the men's ro."

What's the men's ro?

I assume "men's room."

This is weird.

Your other cheesecake, sir.

Psst. Chris. I'm stuck!

What is going on?

My revenge is being stalled by this narrow vent.

Free me! Ugh!

Watch the grip!

You act like it's the first time you pulled

a man out of a vent.

Let's go home.

You can help me think of how I can make this up

to my lovely wife.

Nonsense! We're taking down Cafe Pure'

if it's the last thing we do.

Take down Cafe Pure'?

I think not!

Stop him!

Get up you clumsy oaf! We've got to catch that guy.

I don't know about you guys, but I am

sick and tired of this place and its pretentious attitude.

Me too.

Tonight, "revenge" is on the menu.

And it's served "a la Dan."

So, should we call the health department?

Write a bad review online?

Come on. you are thinking too small.

This is bigger than us.

It may surprise you, but I've grown attached to

a race of sub-humans imprisoned below

the restaurant.

You're right.

There were like four things in that sentence that

surprised me.

Wait, sub-humans?

To be fair, they're actually full human.

They just smell awful.

I knew this place was pretentious, but a dungeon?

I know! I'm trying to start a revolution. I want the

oppressed classes to rise up. Blood in the streets, flames

in the sky, the whole nine yards! And then, rising from

the ashes, a Phoenix in the form of a "Sub Marine."

That's actually doable.

When certain unnamed government agencies

want to instigate regime change, they mobilize the

lower class, then they trick the middle class into siding

with the lower class.

It's easy. I did it last Tues-- I mean,

read it in the paper.

Hmm... I do like meddling.

I'll go back to the dungeon and ready the troops.

You take care of the rest.

Check.

Wait a second.

What am I going to do?

You can... go pay the bill.

No, I want to help. Come on.

I could wear the Bathroom Attendant's uniform.

What good would that do?

Well I--I...I'm not sure.

This thing fits great.

I don't care that it's not part of the plan, I'm

keeping it.

That's nice, honey.

OK, just act like you belong.

I'll be back soon.

Who's there?

I told you he would never come back.

But Dan would never abandon us.

He probably just died in the vent.

That didn't feel great.

Taisez-vous!

Dan has something to say.

Friends, prisoners, fellow revenge seekers,

there is a great war upon us.

Sharpen your carrots.

Make ready your ladles. Tonight, we saut Chef Pure'!

It's not fair, you know.

We do all the work but Chef Pure' takes

all the credit.

Well, he is the head Chef...

But he doesn't have to be.

Someone else could do it.

Someone brave.

Someone handsome. Someone French.

Maybe someone like you.

Hey! What are you doing?

I said be discreet.

I'm trying to chew quietly.

Never mind that. I found something for you to do.

Oh! You're the best!

Don't eat that!

I just put knock-out powder on those.

I need you to deliver them to the Sous Chefs

guarding the vault, then open the door for Dan.

Think you can handle that?

Ugh. You know, I'm sorry.

This is not how I pictured our anniversary.

I have a confession to make.

Until you mentioned it,

I didn't know today was our anniversary.

Wait. Until you mentioned it, I didn't know it was our

anniversary either.

...Is it our anniversary?

I don't know!

Let's think. What did we do on our last anniversary?

We were going to go to a party,

but Dan wouldn't get out of our walls.

Right. And the year before we were going to a picnic...

...And we spent the whole day with the bail bondsman.

Yeah, Dan had that whole nun thing.

You know what? It's not our anniversary.

And you know what else?

I don't care. I don't want to wait for a special

occasion to take my beautiful wife out to dinner.

You are so sweet.

Now go knock out those guards!

Hi, fellas. The chef said you both were oppressing

so many peasants, he wanted to reward you.

Mmm. This is delicious.

I don't know. Mine tastes a little Like

knock-out powder?

I don't think your friends are coming.

Trust me, they'll be here.

Unless they gave up.

Which is possible.

It worked!

Chaaaarge!

Vive la revolucion!

You are about to get served.

Literally. To our dogs.

But, Maurice, we have no dogs.

Quiet, Bernard.

If you die to protect me, you die with

honor.

Wait, stop!

Don't you see? We're not so different, us

Chefs and you... uh... weird dungeon people.

We all just want to get paid a little more,

work a little less, and get treated fairly.

Am I right? The real problem here is our power hungry

ruler, Chef Pureí.

Don't you think?

Yes, I do.

Yeah, me too.

What is this? Some type of revolution?

Yeah. It's like the American Revolution.

If it happened in France.

OK, OK. I get it. I surrender.

What else do you want from me?

I want my turkey sandwich.

Or else.

Or else what?

I really thought he was going to make that turkey

sandwich.

So what do you think will happen to Chef Puree?

I'm sure they'll all work it out.

Yeah, you're probably right.

Wow, the low five is really coming back.

Dufrane... party of three?

Thanks again, Maurice.

Thank you, Dan.

You know, you are the chosen one.

If you want to be our new ruler,

the job is yours.

No. Thanks, though. I think you're doing great

as store manager.

Merci Beaucoup.

Hey! Not so much cheese, Bernard!

I gotta say, the French and democracy do not mix.

Who cares at this point?

You built these sandwiches up so much, I just want to try

one already.

Yeah. I'm tired of not eating.

It's pretty good.

I like it!

Nope. Not as good as I remember.