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1
00:00:20,281 --> 00:00:22,848
Why did that funeral
have to take so long?
2
00:00:22,892 --> 00:00:25,373
I'm gonna miss my show!
3
00:00:31,205 --> 00:00:35,557
That's right, it's baseball
fever here in Los Angeles!
4
00:00:35,600 --> 00:00:40,083
Good luck finding parking
anywhere near the stadium...
5
00:00:40,127 --> 00:00:42,259
This is an outrage!
6
00:00:51,268 --> 00:00:54,663
How does this place get messier
when I'm not even here?
7
00:00:54,706 --> 00:01:00,364
Oh, well. I've got my sam'mich,
my favorite TV show.
8
00:01:00,408 --> 00:01:04,325
I'll be able to wait out
this baseball numbskullery.
9
00:01:04,368 --> 00:01:07,110
We are thrilled to preempt
the season finale of
10
00:01:07,154 --> 00:01:09,112
"The Adventures of
Population Control Johnny"-
11
00:01:09,156 --> 00:01:12,855
But we were going to find out
who stole his extra bullets!
12
00:01:12,898 --> 00:01:15,814
to bring you... baseball!
13
00:01:15,858 --> 00:01:19,601
No! No! The one thing I
look forward to at the end
14
00:01:19,644 --> 00:01:23,300
of a miserable, no-good
day are my stories!
15
00:01:23,344 --> 00:01:25,607
Don't take that away
from me, please!
16
00:01:25,650 --> 00:01:28,914
It's hit long. It's going,
going... Home run!
17
00:01:28,958 --> 00:01:30,481
It's out of the stadium...
18
00:01:30,525 --> 00:01:33,005
Anything but this!
19
00:01:33,049 --> 00:01:34,659
...and off of a billboard
and onto the street just
20
00:01:34,703 --> 00:01:35,791
outside of the stadium, which
actually happens to be the most
21
00:01:35,834 --> 00:01:37,662
repugnant neighborhood
in the city...
22
00:01:37,706 --> 00:01:39,316
That's my neighborhood!
23
00:01:39,360 --> 00:01:42,232
It appears to be bouncing
toward that incredibly dingy
24
00:01:42,276 --> 00:01:43,146
apartment building.
25
00:01:43,190 --> 00:01:45,105
That's my apartment building!
26
00:01:45,148 --> 00:01:46,889
Oh, no, my car!
27
00:01:57,204 --> 00:01:59,162
I got it!
28
00:01:59,206 --> 00:02:02,339
Looks like someone's going home
with a nice little souvenir.
29
00:02:02,383 --> 00:02:08,215
Get away from my car,
you mouth-breathers!
30
00:02:15,004 --> 00:02:17,006
Thanks.
31
00:02:19,356 --> 00:02:22,881
BASEBALL!!!
32
00:02:28,409 --> 00:02:30,367
Baseball is a
contemptible sport.
33
00:02:30,411 --> 00:02:32,152
It's not contemptible.
34
00:02:32,195 --> 00:02:35,285
It needs to pay. It
ruined my TV time!
35
00:02:35,329 --> 00:02:37,505
And it broke the side
mirror on my car.
36
00:02:37,548 --> 00:02:38,375
How, exactly?
37
00:02:38,419 --> 00:02:40,203
It preempted my stories.
38
00:02:40,247 --> 00:02:41,944
I meant the mirror thing.
39
00:02:41,987 --> 00:02:43,511
Don't get bogged
down with minutia!
40
00:02:43,554 --> 00:02:45,208
Drive me to Washington.
41
00:02:45,252 --> 00:02:48,037
I'm going to yell at the
President of Baseball.
42
00:02:48,080 --> 00:02:49,386
He's called a Commissioner.
43
00:02:49,430 --> 00:02:52,302
Oh, "commissioner."
La-dee-da.
44
00:02:52,346 --> 00:02:55,218
I'll have him reimburse me
for my mirror and promise
45
00:02:55,262 --> 00:02:59,135
to never preempt my
show again.
46
00:02:59,179 --> 00:03:00,745
How do you plan to do that?
47
00:03:00,789 --> 00:03:03,270
Step One, you drive
me to Washington.
48
00:03:03,313 --> 00:03:04,880
Step Two, shut up.
49
00:03:04,923 --> 00:03:06,273
Okay, I'll go.
50
00:03:06,316 --> 00:03:07,317
I don't want to hear your
excuses, you miserable-
51
00:03:07,361 --> 00:03:09,580
wait, did you say okay?
52
00:03:09,624 --> 00:03:12,322
Yeah. Do you think we could try
and get into the World Series?
53
00:03:12,366 --> 00:03:14,890
The last game's being played
there in three days.
54
00:03:14,933 --> 00:03:17,197
Wait, you like baseball?
55
00:03:17,240 --> 00:03:19,895
I really do. Plus, I'm
on my own this weekend.
56
00:03:19,938 --> 00:03:21,723
Elise is-
57
00:03:21,766 --> 00:03:23,333
Irrelevant!
58
00:03:23,377 --> 00:03:24,465
We go to see the Commissioner.
If he won't meet my demands,
59
00:03:24,508 --> 00:03:26,858
then you have to break
his legs, okay?
60
00:03:26,902 --> 00:03:27,859
Uh, no.
61
00:03:27,903 --> 00:03:30,210
Fine. One leg.
62
00:03:30,253 --> 00:03:31,820
Come and pick me up.
63
00:03:33,256 --> 00:03:34,605
Man I hate baseball!
64
00:03:34,649 --> 00:03:38,261
You can't hate baseball.
It's our national pastime.
65
00:03:38,305 --> 00:03:41,351
Maybe eighty years ago.
66
00:03:41,395 --> 00:03:43,614
Have you ever actually
seen a baseball game?
67
00:03:43,658 --> 00:03:45,007
All the way through?
68
00:03:45,050 --> 00:03:47,749
Of course not! It's tedious.
It's like team golf.
69
00:03:47,792 --> 00:03:49,925
I'll admit it's a little
slow on television,
70
00:03:49,968 --> 00:03:53,755
but actually at the
park? It is magical.
71
00:03:53,798 --> 00:03:55,800
They say the same thing
about childbirth.
72
00:03:55,844 --> 00:03:58,412
But buddy, that ain't magic.
73
00:03:59,674 --> 00:04:00,501
Uhh... I'm going to call Elise.
74
00:04:00,544 --> 00:04:02,111
Oh yeah, where is she again?
75
00:04:02,154 --> 00:04:05,810
Overseas, at a consumer
electronics convention.
76
00:04:05,854 --> 00:04:07,159
It should be just about
lunchtime there now.
77
00:04:25,526 --> 00:04:26,440
Hey, you.
78
00:04:26,483 --> 00:04:27,615
How's the
convention going?
79
00:04:27,658 --> 00:04:30,357
Oh, fine. It's -
it's - hang oln.
80
00:04:31,358 --> 00:04:33,316
What was that?
81
00:04:33,360 --> 00:04:37,320
There's a video game demo
happening right next to me.
82
00:04:37,364 --> 00:04:38,365
Oh! Sounds cool.
83
00:04:38,408 --> 00:04:41,455
Um yeah. Hey, can
I call you back?
84
00:04:41,498 --> 00:04:42,630
I'm a little busy
at the moment.
85
00:04:42,673 --> 00:04:44,109
Yeah, sure. Love you.
86
00:04:44,153 --> 00:04:45,415
Love you.
87
00:04:45,459 --> 00:04:49,289
I...love you?
88
00:05:21,146 --> 00:05:22,539
Back off Pal!
89
00:05:22,583 --> 00:05:23,888
I'm here to see
the Commissioner.
90
00:05:23,932 --> 00:05:26,456
Nobody gets in without
an appointment.
91
00:05:26,500 --> 00:05:29,198
Wait a minute, didn't you play
shortstop for Baltimore?
92
00:05:29,241 --> 00:05:31,505
You were amazing!
93
00:05:31,548 --> 00:05:34,551
Ex-wife got the ball
contract in the divorce.
94
00:05:34,595 --> 00:05:37,293
She batted .300 last
season.
95
00:05:37,337 --> 00:05:38,686
You still can't see the
Commissioner.
96
00:05:38,729 --> 00:05:40,644
But I have grievances!
97
00:05:40,688 --> 00:05:42,951
Plus, my friend Chris here
is going to break his legs.
98
00:05:42,994 --> 00:05:44,387
Uh, no I'm not.
99
00:05:44,431 --> 00:05:45,345
Oh, come on!
100
00:05:45,388 --> 00:05:46,302
We talked about this!
101
00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:48,696
We did. I said I
wouldn't do it.
102
00:05:48,739 --> 00:05:51,133
It's a Federal Offense to
threaten the Commissioner of
103
00:05:51,176 --> 00:05:52,003
Baseball.
104
00:05:52,047 --> 00:05:53,265
Who's threatening?
105
00:05:53,309 --> 00:05:55,398
We're talking about full
on kidnapping here.
106
00:05:55,442 --> 00:05:56,965
We have a situation here...
107
00:05:57,008 --> 00:05:58,923
Two suspects are attempting
to kidnap the Commissioner.
108
00:05:58,967 --> 00:06:00,751
We were only joking.
109
00:06:00,795 --> 00:06:02,231
Tell them you were joking.
110
00:06:02,274 --> 00:06:05,582
I never joke about kidnapping.
111
00:06:05,626 --> 00:06:06,409
Dan! We've got to go!
112
00:06:06,453 --> 00:06:09,194
Ack! Don't use my name!
113
00:06:09,238 --> 00:06:11,327
But you just used mine
like two seconds ago.
114
00:06:11,371 --> 00:06:16,114
Well, from now on, your new
name is Monkeyface McGee.
115
00:06:16,158 --> 00:06:17,681
Let's go, Monkeyface.
116
00:06:26,081 --> 00:06:27,517
Now do you hate baseball?
117
00:06:27,561 --> 00:06:30,085
No, but I hate you
a little bit.
118
00:06:30,128 --> 00:06:32,609
Ow! Hey!
119
00:06:33,262 --> 00:06:34,785
All I wanted was
to see the Commissioner.
120
00:06:34,829 --> 00:06:36,134
Read my demands...
121
00:06:36,178 --> 00:06:38,528
Maybe cause him some
bodily harm...
122
00:06:38,572 --> 00:06:40,138
What do we do now?
123
00:06:40,182 --> 00:06:43,533
How about going to the game? It
starts in a couple of hours.
124
00:06:43,577 --> 00:06:45,100
Go to a baseball game?
125
00:06:45,143 --> 00:06:47,494
Have you completely lost sight
of what we're doing here?
126
00:06:47,537 --> 00:06:50,801
The Commissioner will be there.
127
00:06:50,845 --> 00:06:53,456
Wait, I just had an idea.
128
00:06:53,500 --> 00:06:55,589
We should go to the
baseball game.
129
00:06:55,632 --> 00:06:57,417
The commissioner will be there.
130
00:06:57,460 --> 00:06:58,156
But I just-
131
00:06:58,200 --> 00:07:00,550
Up bup bup.
132
00:07:00,594 --> 00:07:03,901
The game's sold out, of course,
so...
133
00:07:03,945 --> 00:07:05,599
You guys want tickets?
134
00:07:05,642 --> 00:07:07,470
A thousand bucks each.
135
00:07:07,514 --> 00:07:09,603
A thousand dollars?
136
00:07:09,646 --> 00:07:11,387
Pay the man, Monkeyface.
137
00:07:13,302 --> 00:07:14,782
That was pretty much
my life's savings,
138
00:07:14,825 --> 00:07:17,828
but it's worth it to be
here at the World Series.
139
00:07:17,872 --> 00:07:21,702
Look, batting practice!
140
00:07:21,745 --> 00:07:24,531
What's sad is this is more
interesting than the game.
141
00:07:24,574 --> 00:07:26,489
Where are our seats?
142
00:07:26,533 --> 00:07:28,926
Uh, those guys are
sitting in them.
143
00:07:28,970 --> 00:07:30,841
I did not pay good
money to have
144
00:07:30,885 --> 00:07:34,541
a couple of slack-jawed
yokels gank our seats!
145
00:07:34,584 --> 00:07:38,719
You didn't pay anything.
146
00:07:38,762 --> 00:07:44,028
Hey! Yokels! Out of our seats!
147
00:07:44,072 --> 00:07:48,859
These are our seats. See?
148
00:07:48,903 --> 00:07:50,948
Hey, look! They're in our
seats!
149
00:07:50,992 --> 00:07:52,776
We got tickets, pal!
150
00:07:52,820 --> 00:07:55,910
Hey, I've got tickets
for those seats, too!
151
00:07:55,953 --> 00:07:57,520
Me too!
152
00:07:57,564 --> 00:08:01,002
Everyone just calm down. Now
look, all of your tickets are
153
00:08:01,045 --> 00:08:02,786
obviously counterfeit.
154
00:08:02,830 --> 00:08:04,440
Ours are the real ones.
155
00:08:04,484 --> 00:08:05,572
So, if you would just kindly
move.
156
00:08:05,615 --> 00:08:06,964
Hey!! Get off me!
157
00:08:07,008 --> 00:08:08,966
Move it!
158
00:08:13,536 --> 00:08:16,887
Chris, quick! Grab
a bat and help me!
159
00:08:16,931 --> 00:08:18,628
Oh, no.
160
00:08:18,672 --> 00:08:21,196
Uh oh, folks. There appears
to be a minor riot here
161
00:08:21,239 --> 00:08:22,676
at the stadium...
162
00:08:26,680 --> 00:08:29,596
- Well, that plan didn't work.
- We
didn't see the commissioner
163
00:08:29,639 --> 00:08:32,642
and you're out two grand. Nice.
164
00:08:32,686 --> 00:08:34,862
How can you stand
to be teargassed?
165
00:08:34,905 --> 00:08:37,168
My eyes are watering, just
sitting next to you.
166
00:08:37,212 --> 00:08:40,128
I've been teargassed
so many times
167
00:08:40,171 --> 00:08:41,956
I don't even notice any more.
168
00:08:44,132 --> 00:08:48,049
Well, I notice. Could
you back off, please?
169
00:08:48,092 --> 00:08:50,530
I can barely eat,
sitting next to you.
170
00:08:50,573 --> 00:08:52,227
The brazen attempted
kidnapping of the Baseball
171
00:08:52,270 --> 00:08:54,577
Commissioner has been foiled
by the combined efforts of
172
00:08:54,621 --> 00:08:56,536
several Federal agencies...
173
00:08:56,579 --> 00:08:58,973
These two suspects are still
at large, and are considered
174
00:08:59,016 --> 00:09:00,583
armed and dangerous...
175
00:09:00,627 --> 00:09:06,502
Oh, look at that! Those pictures
don't even look like us!
176
00:09:06,546 --> 00:09:09,418
Actually, Dan, it's probably
a really good thing if the
177
00:09:09,461 --> 00:09:13,596
police sketches don't look like
us. Don't be so sensitive.
178
00:09:13,640 --> 00:09:15,119
One is described as "big
and goony looking,"
179
00:09:15,163 --> 00:09:17,469
and goes by the
alias "Monkeyface."
180
00:09:17,513 --> 00:09:18,601
"Goony-looking"?
181
00:09:18,645 --> 00:09:19,907
Now who's sensitive?
182
00:09:19,950 --> 00:09:21,735
Well it's just so insulting...
183
00:09:21,778 --> 00:09:24,346
We need to get back into
the stadium so I can make
184
00:09:24,389 --> 00:09:28,524
baseball buy me a new mirror
and stop preempting my show.
185
00:09:28,568 --> 00:09:30,134
How would we even get back in?
186
00:09:30,178 --> 00:09:31,875
Hey, I just came
up with the plan.
187
00:09:31,919 --> 00:09:36,837
Now it's your job to come
up with the logistics.
188
00:09:36,880 --> 00:09:39,274
Okay, you know what I-I don't
want to keep harping on this,
189
00:09:39,317 --> 00:09:40,188
but you really need
to take a shower.
190
00:09:40,231 --> 00:09:44,279
I'm feeling like I got maced.
191
00:09:44,322 --> 00:09:46,934
Teargassed. Mace is tangier.
192
00:09:46,977 --> 00:09:49,676
Could you back up, please?
193
00:09:49,719 --> 00:09:54,768
As soon as I hear a plan.
194
00:09:54,811 --> 00:09:59,642
All right, all right! I'll call
Elise. Maybe she has an idea.
195
00:10:06,127 --> 00:10:08,651
Hey, Ah this isn't really a
good time.
196
00:10:08,695 --> 00:10:09,913
I won't keep you.
197
00:10:09,957 --> 00:10:12,437
I just want to get some
advice on something.
198
00:10:12,481 --> 00:10:14,048
Okay.
199
00:10:14,091 --> 00:10:16,746
How would you sneak into a place
that has a lot of security?
200
00:10:16,790 --> 00:10:19,575
Excuse me, where's your
access badge?!
201
00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:20,663
Funny you should ask that.
202
00:10:20,707 --> 00:10:21,838
Why do you say that?
203
00:10:21,882 --> 00:10:23,492
Never mind.
204
00:10:23,535 --> 00:10:25,668
In general, I find it helps to
dress as someone who belongs,
205
00:10:25,712 --> 00:10:27,714
then talk my way in using
whatever intelligence
206
00:10:27,757 --> 00:10:29,759
I have at my disposal.
207
00:10:29,803 --> 00:10:30,804
Okay, but...
208
00:10:30,847 --> 00:10:32,327
Hey, I should really get going.
209
00:10:32,370 --> 00:10:34,372
There's a presentation on
proprietary data bases that
210
00:10:34,416 --> 00:10:35,722
I can not miss.
211
00:10:35,765 --> 00:10:37,419
Oh. Okay. Well have fun.
212
00:10:37,462 --> 00:10:39,029
Hey, can we catch
up a little later?
213
00:10:39,073 --> 00:10:41,815
Sounds good. I'll call
you when I get a chance.
214
00:11:02,705 --> 00:11:06,666
I feel bad for Elise. Her
job sounds so boring.
215
00:11:06,709 --> 00:11:07,971
Well?
216
00:11:08,015 --> 00:11:11,322
She says dress as
someone who belongs there.
217
00:11:11,366 --> 00:11:12,019
[SNAPS HIS FINGERS}
218
00:11:12,062 --> 00:11:13,542
Batboys!
219
00:11:15,762 --> 00:11:18,765
What's with the outfit?
You look ridiculous.
220
00:11:18,808 --> 00:11:21,811
I'm a batboy! What are
you supposed to be?
221
00:11:21,855 --> 00:11:26,033
I'm THE Bat Boy!
222
00:11:28,165 --> 00:11:32,735
I need to see your passes.
223
00:11:32,779 --> 00:11:37,392
I need no pass. I'm Bat Boy!
224
00:11:37,435 --> 00:11:41,744
He's... the new...
mascot! Yes! Mascot.
225
00:11:41,788 --> 00:11:46,880
He's the... Baseball Bat.
You haven't heard of him?
226
00:11:46,923 --> 00:11:47,707
No.
227
00:11:52,320 --> 00:11:54,017
That suit actually
has weapons!?
228
00:11:54,061 --> 00:11:56,933
Kind of. I tried to throw a
smoke bomb, but it caught
229
00:11:56,977 --> 00:12:00,720
in my sleeve and went off. Now
it feels like my arm's on fire.
230
00:12:00,763 --> 00:12:04,724
Uh, Dan? Your arm is on fire.
231
00:12:04,767 --> 00:12:06,638
Ah! Ah!
232
00:12:06,682 --> 00:12:09,729
Dan! Stop, drop, and
roll!
233
00:12:09,772 --> 00:12:10,860
Never!
234
00:12:17,911 --> 00:12:20,696
Ow, that burns!
235
00:12:22,219 --> 00:12:23,743
Uh, oh. Looks like we got
ourselves another streaker.
236
00:12:23,786 --> 00:12:25,832
Hey, he should really
do some situps.
237
00:12:30,967 --> 00:12:35,015
I can't believe I'm actually on
the field at the World Series!
238
00:12:35,058 --> 00:12:36,843
You're the new guy?
239
00:12:36,886 --> 00:12:40,977
Aren't you a little
old for a batboy?
240
00:12:41,021 --> 00:12:43,937
I have a condition, sir.
241
00:13:02,520 --> 00:13:04,914
This is awesome!
242
00:13:10,964 --> 00:13:13,793
Did you see anyone
run through here?
243
00:13:13,836 --> 00:13:17,797
Uh... Yeah... A while ago.
244
00:13:17,840 --> 00:13:21,888
Sir, you need to get out on
the field. I'll escort you.
245
00:13:26,893 --> 00:13:31,419
Where do I stand?
246
00:13:34,422 --> 00:13:37,947
Awe!!
247
00:13:42,909 --> 00:13:43,997
Ball!
248
00:13:44,040 --> 00:13:47,435
Ah Come on, ump! That
was a strike!
249
00:13:47,478 --> 00:13:50,525
So, you like baseball?
250
00:13:50,568 --> 00:13:51,656
Never talk to me.
251
00:13:51,700 --> 00:13:55,835
Wow! Dan?
252
00:13:55,878 --> 00:13:57,880
Foul ball!
253
00:13:57,924 --> 00:14:02,145
What are you talking about?
He didn't even swing!
254
00:14:02,189 --> 00:14:04,495
Are you arguing with me?
255
00:14:04,539 --> 00:14:07,020
Arguing? How can it
be a foul ball?
256
00:14:07,063 --> 00:14:09,022
Do you even know the rules
of baseball?
257
00:14:09,065 --> 00:14:12,808
How dare you yell at
me you cretin!
258
00:14:12,852 --> 00:14:14,854
I'm going to have your
pitching license revoked!
259
00:14:14,897 --> 00:14:19,162
Pitching license?! What
are you talking about?
260
00:14:19,206 --> 00:14:21,469
Oh, Is that so!!
261
00:14:21,512 --> 00:14:23,819
That's the most ridiculous
call I've ever seen!
You aren't qualified to be an
umpire!
262
00:14:23,863 --> 00:14:25,952
You're off your rocker! You
should turn in your mask!
263
00:14:25,995 --> 00:14:27,910
You're the one
who's ridiculous!
Nobody taught me!
264
00:14:27,954 --> 00:14:29,999
Can you imagine
how that feels!?
265
00:14:30,043 --> 00:14:31,958
That's it! I'm out of here!
266
00:14:32,001 --> 00:14:35,222
That's odd. I've seen players
thrown out of games before,
267
00:14:35,265 --> 00:14:38,790
but never have I seen an
umpire eject himself.
268
00:14:38,834 --> 00:14:40,880
At least not in
the post season.
269
00:14:42,098 --> 00:14:45,667
Here goes nothing.
Steady hands.
270
00:14:46,929 --> 00:14:49,584
Hey, guess where
I am right now?
271
00:14:49,627 --> 00:14:50,802
I can't really talk.
272
00:14:50,846 --> 00:14:51,891
Even for a minute?
273
00:14:51,934 --> 00:14:52,979
I don't really have
a minute.
274
00:14:53,022 --> 00:14:54,806
Oh. Okay.
275
00:14:54,850 --> 00:14:56,852
Well, It's just, we haven't
gotten the chance to talk
276
00:14:56,896 --> 00:14:59,942
for a couple of days,
and I miss you.
277
00:14:59,986 --> 00:15:02,902
All right, where are you?
278
00:15:02,945 --> 00:15:05,469
I'm on the field at the World
Series.
279
00:15:05,513 --> 00:15:06,949
What?!
280
00:15:06,993 --> 00:15:08,951
I know, right?
It's incredible.
281
00:15:08,995 --> 00:15:11,954
I got spat on by actual
baseball players!
282
00:15:11,998 --> 00:15:13,303
That's great.
283
00:15:13,347 --> 00:15:14,914
How are you?
284
00:15:14,957 --> 00:15:20,354
Hey, which color do you
prefer? Orange or green?
285
00:15:20,397 --> 00:15:24,314
Well, they both have
their merits...
286
00:15:24,358 --> 00:15:25,663
Orange or green?
287
00:15:25,707 --> 00:15:27,361
Are you thinking of
painting our living room?
288
00:15:27,404 --> 00:15:28,449
Orange or green?
289
00:15:28,492 --> 00:15:33,367
Orange.
290
00:15:33,410 --> 00:15:34,324
Oh
291
00:15:34,368 --> 00:15:36,457
Actually, green.
292
00:15:38,676 --> 00:15:41,462
Twenty dollars for a hot dog?
293
00:15:41,505 --> 00:15:44,247
How can you sleep at night
charging those prices?
294
00:15:44,291 --> 00:15:46,858
I sleep on a big pile
of money.
295
00:15:46,902 --> 00:15:48,904
But I can't sell you
a hotdog right now.
296
00:15:48,948 --> 00:15:51,080
I have to go up to the Skybox.
297
00:15:51,124 --> 00:15:53,909
The Commissioner himself
wants a hotdog.
298
00:15:53,953 --> 00:15:56,433
I wasn't going to buy one
anyway, you -
299
00:15:56,477 --> 00:16:00,829
Did you say the Commissioner?
300
00:16:04,398 --> 00:16:06,008
Your hot dogs are
here, commissioner.
301
00:16:06,052 --> 00:16:08,750
I'll go get your mulled
wine.
302
00:16:08,793 --> 00:16:10,360
What took you so long?
303
00:16:10,404 --> 00:16:13,320
I had to knock the real guy out
and change into his clothes.
304
00:16:13,363 --> 00:16:15,235
It takes time.
305
00:16:18,325 --> 00:16:21,284
BUNS!
306
00:16:21,328 --> 00:16:25,027
Mace!
307
00:16:25,071 --> 00:16:27,899
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
hhhhh!
308
00:16:28,988 --> 00:16:31,033
Monkeyface. Attention
Monkeyface.
309
00:16:31,077 --> 00:16:36,865
Meet me in the arkinglot-pay.
310
00:16:38,084 --> 00:16:40,173
Oh - awww! Did you get
teargassed again?
311
00:16:40,216 --> 00:16:41,435
Maced.
312
00:16:41,478 --> 00:16:43,132
And you stole hotdogs.
Did they get maced?
313
00:16:43,176 --> 00:16:45,134
Actually, doesn't
matter. Can I have one?
314
00:16:45,178 --> 00:16:48,398
Not yet. Help me push
this cart to our car.
315
00:16:52,446 --> 00:16:55,318
Wait, what is this?
Where are the hotdogs?
316
00:16:55,362 --> 00:16:57,059
Help!
317
00:16:57,103 --> 00:17:01,324
This, my friend, is a bargaining
chip. Get the duct tape.
318
00:17:01,368 --> 00:17:02,586
Let go!
319
00:17:02,630 --> 00:17:05,372
You be quiet! Monkeyface,
tape his arms.
320
00:17:05,415 --> 00:17:06,764
Please stop calling me
that.
321
00:17:06,808 --> 00:17:07,635
Nope.
322
00:17:07,678 --> 00:17:09,245
So sorry about this.
323
00:17:10,594 --> 00:17:11,639
What do you want from me?
324
00:17:11,682 --> 00:17:13,162
I want my mirror!
325
00:17:13,206 --> 00:17:15,556
What are you talk-mmph!
326
00:17:15,599 --> 00:17:18,428
Wait, so we are kidnappers?
327
00:17:18,472 --> 00:17:19,342
Now.
328
00:17:19,386 --> 00:17:21,518
I am very disappointed in us.
329
00:17:21,562 --> 00:17:24,347
Me too, buddy.
330
00:17:24,391 --> 00:17:26,915
Oh, man. Oh, man.
331
00:17:26,958 --> 00:17:30,092
Relax, we're fine. I'll
turn on the radio so you
332
00:17:30,136 --> 00:17:32,312
can't hear the muffled
thumps, okay?
333
00:17:32,355 --> 00:17:35,880
A massive, multi-state manhunt
is underway for the kidnappers
334
00:17:35,924 --> 00:17:38,448
of the Commissioner of
baseball...
335
00:17:38,492 --> 00:17:40,363
See? That's better.
336
00:17:40,407 --> 00:17:41,364
Oh, man.
337
00:17:52,332 --> 00:17:54,638
We should give him
some water or something.
338
00:17:54,682 --> 00:17:57,250
He's been on the floor in
the back seat for two days.
339
00:17:57,293 --> 00:17:59,426
Softie.
340
00:17:59,469 --> 00:18:02,472
Man, this place is filthy.
I prefer the car.
341
00:18:02,516 --> 00:18:06,215
You'd better watch your mouth,
or things could get nasty,
342
00:18:06,259 --> 00:18:08,957
you callous, mirror-breaking
troglodyte.
343
00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:10,828
Troglodyte? Mirror-breaking?
344
00:18:10,872 --> 00:18:14,919
Yes. You broke my side mirror.
And we're not letting you go
345
00:18:14,963 --> 00:18:16,921
until baseball buys
me a new one.
346
00:18:16,965 --> 00:18:18,358
That's all you want?
347
00:18:18,401 --> 00:18:20,316
Take my wallet and buy
yourself a new mirror.
348
00:18:20,360 --> 00:18:21,796
Don't mind if I do.
349
00:18:21,839 --> 00:18:25,452
See, Chris? We're
halfway there.
350
00:18:25,495 --> 00:18:27,889
Go get me a new mirror.
And then get back here.
351
00:18:27,932 --> 00:18:30,457
We need to build an elaborate
deathtrap to put him in.
352
00:18:30,500 --> 00:18:31,632
Deathtrap?
353
00:18:31,675 --> 00:18:33,590
Gulp!! Shouldn't we feed him
something?
354
00:18:33,634 --> 00:18:36,811
I don't know what baseball
commissioners eat.
355
00:18:36,854 --> 00:18:38,117
Wait, deathtrap?
356
00:18:39,161 --> 00:18:40,467
Boy, I bet your
neighbors hate you.
357
00:18:40,510 --> 00:18:42,469
They really do.
358
00:18:42,512 --> 00:18:45,036
That's fine, I hate them.
359
00:18:45,080 --> 00:18:47,038
Let's see if this works.
360
00:18:50,433 --> 00:18:52,827
Listen, you two. It's
time to let me go.
361
00:18:52,870 --> 00:18:54,002
I bought you a new mirror.
362
00:18:54,045 --> 00:18:56,526
Don't make me gag you again.
363
00:19:03,664 --> 00:19:05,405
Perfect! It holds.
364
00:19:05,448 --> 00:19:07,015
I'm going to call the
Baseball Council and
365
00:19:07,058 --> 00:19:10,018
let them know we have their
ringleader hanging upside-down.
366
00:19:10,061 --> 00:19:12,673
Hanging upside down isn't
much of a deathtrap.
367
00:19:12,716 --> 00:19:15,763
It's your fault! You didn't
get me the spinning blades.
368
00:19:15,806 --> 00:19:17,852
Or the alligators.
369
00:19:17,895 --> 00:19:21,421
I got you sharks.
370
00:19:21,464 --> 00:19:23,423
I've been telling you, you're
going to be on the phone.
371
00:19:23,466 --> 00:19:24,728
They won't see
anything anyway.
372
00:19:24,772 --> 00:19:26,121
You can tell them
whatever you want.
373
00:19:26,165 --> 00:19:28,428
Yeah, but it's high time I
had a deathtrap.
374
00:19:28,471 --> 00:19:32,301
Ow! Help! Help!
375
00:19:32,345 --> 00:19:34,738
That's it, you're
getting gagged.
376
00:19:34,782 --> 00:19:37,176
Give me your phone. I'm going
to make the ransom call.
377
00:19:37,219 --> 00:19:39,961
You're not using my phone.
They can trace those things!
378
00:19:40,004 --> 00:19:41,049
Yeah, to you.
379
00:19:41,092 --> 00:19:42,224
Why don't you use my phone?
380
00:19:42,268 --> 00:19:45,140
I'll even give you
the number to call.
381
00:19:49,536 --> 00:19:50,537
Hello?
382
00:19:50,580 --> 00:19:52,713
Hello, ruling
body of Baseball.
383
00:19:52,756 --> 00:19:55,890
By now you realize
who this is.
384
00:19:55,933 --> 00:19:57,370
I sure hope not.
385
00:19:57,413 --> 00:19:59,415
I don't mean who we are,
Chris, I mean just that we're
386
00:19:59,459 --> 00:20:01,591
the guys that kidnapped
the Commissioner!
387
00:20:01,635 --> 00:20:03,376
I was an unwitting accomplice.
388
00:20:03,419 --> 00:20:05,595
You're the criminal here,
Dan. I'm just helping.
389
00:20:05,639 --> 00:20:07,118
Which makes you a criminal.
390
00:20:07,162 --> 00:20:08,294
You make me a criminal!
391
00:20:08,337 --> 00:20:10,165
So we're criminals!
392
00:20:10,209 --> 00:20:11,601
Now, where was I?
393
00:20:11,645 --> 00:20:12,733
You want them to-
394
00:20:12,776 --> 00:20:14,430
I know, I know
dunderhead! Be quiet!
395
00:20:14,474 --> 00:20:18,652
Now, if you don't stop
preempting my show---
396
00:20:18,695 --> 00:20:19,957
What show was preempted?
397
00:20:20,001 --> 00:20:22,612
The Adventures of
Population Control Johnny.
398
00:20:22,656 --> 00:20:24,832
What? I love that show. I
would never preempt it.
399
00:20:24,875 --> 00:20:26,050
I watched it before the game.
400
00:20:26,094 --> 00:20:27,400
You lie!
401
00:20:27,443 --> 00:20:29,576
It's probably the time
difference thing.
402
00:20:29,619 --> 00:20:32,274
Tell you what. You let me
go, I'll make sure the show
403
00:20:32,318 --> 00:20:33,580
is never preempted again.
404
00:20:33,623 --> 00:20:35,625
How do I know I can trust you?
405
00:20:35,669 --> 00:20:38,106
What was the season finale
of the show about?
406
00:20:38,149 --> 00:20:39,934
Who stole Johnny's extra
bullets. It was---
407
00:20:39,977 --> 00:20:41,457
Whoa whoa whoa - don't tell me!
408
00:20:44,678 --> 00:20:46,157
Ya know, this is kind of sad.
409
00:20:46,201 --> 00:20:48,334
I've really grown attached
to the little guy.
410
00:20:48,377 --> 00:20:51,337
Me too, buddy. But it's
the right thing to do.
411
00:20:51,380 --> 00:20:53,817
And if you don't do
the right thing...
412
00:20:53,861 --> 00:20:57,430
I will. I promise. Thank
you for letting me go.
413
00:20:57,473 --> 00:21:03,044
Wait! Could you untie me?
And, uh - where am I?
414
00:21:06,090 --> 00:21:08,354
Hey, I brought you something
from the consumer electronics
415
00:21:08,397 --> 00:21:09,572
convention.
416
00:21:09,616 --> 00:21:12,140
Wow, what is it?
417
00:21:12,183 --> 00:21:15,230
Paperweight. It's
completely harmless.
418
00:21:15,274 --> 00:21:18,625
Oh. Why wouldn't it be?
419
00:21:20,670 --> 00:21:24,326
Ah..We've been through a
lot together, television,
420
00:21:24,370 --> 00:21:28,330
old friend... But
it's worth it.
421
00:21:28,374 --> 00:21:31,333
And now, we're happy to
preempt your regularly
422
00:21:31,377 --> 00:21:36,077
scheduled programming to
bring you... Basketball!
423
00:21:36,120 --> 00:21:37,513
Oh, come on!!
30669
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