Original subtitles

"Illegal toll with turnstile at the entrance to the housing community

from the interiors of Contubernio 49".

Your Honor, the accused has installed a lathe

to charge residents for entering and leaving their homes.

They are trespassing on private property.

In the United States, I could shoot them!

Do you see? He's not right in the head!

Protest! The president's breasts

It has jeopardized my mental health.

And the bleached blonde has it in for me.

There's a conflict of interest here!

Protest denied!

Attorney, you can begin with the prosecution witnesses.

He has it in for me.

I didn't find out much because when they separated

I was traveling through the communities.

And meanwhile, my son of a bitch of a husband

He took advantage of the situation to cheat on me while I was pregnant.

But anyway, I've already forgiven him.

No, it wasn't infidelity. And she kept quiet about the pregnancy.

It was a surprise!

The lathe idea seems great to me,

Anything that involves cursing out my tenant...

But he's not leaving, Your Honor, he's not leaving.

It breaks my heart to see the glorious heritage

of the Balmaseda de Unzeta and Téllez-Girón

immersed in this fatuous decadence.

Jacinta!

But where has this woman gone?

You have to make me dinner!

Years of impeccable management, and they fire me for borrowing

community funds to bid

for my daughter's virginity.

Go to hell.

I would lock myself in the bathroom to whip myself,

in an ultra-Catholic sense.

I worked hard to become a homeowner.

Ups.

And I already have two floors.

As long as he doesn't do drugs...

That bastard Recio put up some bonds worth 50 euros.

¿Or 150?

Wait, I don't remember.

Because I have no brain.

Look, my skull is like a coconut: I have a thin membrane of neurons.

attached to the shell, which would be all the white part of the coconut,

but everything else is a bit of a mess.

But I already said it: a beating and to the dungeon.

But here we are, wasting time.

My house was occupied by a drug addict.

a junkie prostitute and an achondroplastic man.

The more obstacles to entry, the better.

Recio, you son of a bitch, I kick heads!

Help!

Help.

"The one that's coming."

[VITOREAN]

Long live justice!

Look, look, look, look, look how I leave, look how I come in!

Look how I come out! Hello, I'm Coco.

Now I'm in, now I'm out.

In, out. You're going to get a hefty fine.

Pay up, pay up!

This country is going to hell!

Perro Sánchez has bought off the justice system!

-Go fuck yourself. -Come on!

[THEY SPEAK AT THE SAME TIME]

Berta, what a humiliation.

You've received the fine for putting Toñín in goal.

15,000 euros.

Everything I do is going so badly.

Well, give me money.

Yes, man. I refuse to plunder Mariscos Recio.

to finance your presidential delusions.

[Timbre]

-The taxi's here. -I'm going to get my suitcase.

Where are you going with the Zumber?

To meet Bhaktisiddhanta Saraswati.

-¿To whom? -A teacher.

Greta has bought tickets to go to her ashram in Frankfurt.

For an offering you can touch his feet.

And why do you want to touch his feet?

They are the access point to their energy and wisdom.

Are you going to give money to an Indian blowhard?

before your husband? -That man is enlightened,

He performs miracles and helps people. What do you do?

Putting up with your nonsense! Is that not enough for you?

Oh...

Go back to mass, it was cheaper!

Ah...

Al Four Seasons, por favor.

But weren't we going to the airport?

Berta, you've awakened the lesbian inside me.

I need to clear up my doubts.

And this beautiful one here, with the Lisbon magnet.

Oh, my girl, she's an artist like her father.

I have to pay 20,000 euros to the tax authorities.

-What? -I'll kill the fishmonger.

"I'll kill him!" - "It's your fault for being a pirate."

What is this?

Well, I'm torn between a pony or a helicopter.

The teacher gave me a folder with all the girl's drawings.

¿What are they flippant about?

Yes, but for storing them, not for hanging them up.

Don't listen to Mommy, she's very stressed.

Yes, I'm very stressed! And on top of that, I'm late.

And get rid of the fucking drawings!

Logi! -Ma'am, I'm here.

-Ah. -Look before you shout.

Bring me an aniseed drink.

The claws of sorrow grip my soul.

But ask me why!

What anguish, ma'am?

Félix Coronado de Gordón y Zabalburu, Count of Yecla,

My great love from my youth is dying in the hospital.

But is he still alive?

My goodness, what one puts up with when everything is handed to them on a silver platter.

There is no greater cruelty than leaving

This world in solitude.

I will accompany him in his last breath,

because of the love we had for each other.

The mansion he owns on Lagasca Street

It has nothing to do with it. -Outspoken, of course not!

Well then, go ahead, you're going to be very happy.

No, no, no, no.

You're coming with me, in case my legs give out.

I'm going to make myself look beautiful.

My face will probably be the last thing he sees.

before leaving this world.

[Timbre]

There are very cruel deaths.

Menchu, let's go! We're covered!

Squatters usually leave one by one.

Going to bingo alone is no fun at all.

There are chocolate palm trees on the counter.

What I don't understand is why you haven't gone back to Yoli.

But you had already made peace.

No. My daughter and I need to miss each other in order to love each other.

Good morning.

A tourist to screw over.

No, no, no, no, don't mess with this one.

I'm not racist, okay?

But a surly Moor makes me uneasy.

So you are racist.

Well, maybe so, but at least I admit it.

I'm so over being nice!

-Hello, my loves. -Finally.

How can you leave me alone with the child for so many hours?

Yoli, but I've been at the gym for 45 minutes.

Well then, it's for you.

This is your father, son, you don't see him often.

My love, I have work.

Well, you can give me a Filipina, and while you're at it,

He'll clean us up and cook us delicious food. -Yes, of course.

And if you want, I'll provide you with a chauffeur and a masseuse.

But how much do you think I earn?

For my peace of mind, I always think a lot.

-Why don't you take care of your son? -Or you, you fucking sexist!

-Yoli, you don't work. -Sorry!

When I get this body back, I plan to reactivate Yolifet.

That sounds great to me, but until then,

Either you get a job or you're a housewife!

Or I'll leave you and marry a millionaire

that gives me the goddess life I deserve.

Great, now you have three options.

Exploiter!

Bad husband!

Hello.

Hello.

Do you need anything?

I'm meeting Antonio here. Didn't he say anything to you?

Not me.

Ah. Well, I don't know.

Attention, Minions!

I'm going to create my own cult!

We swindle people out of their money and have orgies with the faithful.

I hope they're good. What do you think?

Well, we'd have to see how that money is taxed.

because I understand it would be an association,

and therefore subject to... No, no, everything in B.

What the Catholic Church has been doing with the collection plate

All my life. -The Catholic Church is a religion.

What is a religion? A sect that has been successful.

So, what do all religions have in common?

They hate gay people! [NODS]

Do you believe in God? That's right, Pebble!

They all have an all-powerful leader,

which logically will be me.

-But what do you promise? -Damn it, salvation.

And it's going to be the best heaven of all religions, right?

It's going to be awesome.

Against the Muslim paradise it is difficult to compete, eh?

Te dan 72 vÃrgenes.

My Eden will be an all-inclusive: open bar of seafood and hookers.

-Do prawns go to heaven? -If they've been good, yes.

-But how can a shrimp sin? -Shut up!

In my paradise, I can have whatever I want.

That's what happens when you promise things posthumously:

Nobody complains. -And hell?

Very important too.

The unbeliever who does not follow my doctrine...

He will spend eternity in terrible suffering.

-Period. -That doctrine would have to be defined.

Of course.

If shrimp go to hell, they should be grilled.

Coke, think to yourself.

This whole sect thing is more complex than it seems.

It takes years to gain a decent number of followers.

Pebble, you're being so negative! You're bringing me down!

Amador, what's it to you to distribute this in your Tuk Tuks?

I have an advertising agreement with Automatismos Carabias.

What is more important? Money or the truth?

"Ifty-ifty".

Coke, please share this with the neighbors:

Flat Earth Congress, places still available.

-Information sets us free! -Yes, yes, yes.

"Terrapla Congress..."

One little thing that comes to mind.

If the Earth is flat,

How did Willy Fogg travel around the world?

I don't know, but I have a great plan.

And you think this fits El Zegurola's style?

No! That's it, doctor! My breath is running out.

¡Hey, that Martin!

[CHISTA] I can barely breathe.

If your flesh begs me for one more tear, just one...

Take her away and never come back.

[SOBS]

Uh... Thanks, Candela. We'll get back to you shortly.

-I don't like it. -Well, it was the last one.

"Wasn't Lola going to do this?" "She kicked me out of the house, screw her."

¡Sergio!

Sí.

-Are you holding a casting call? -Yes.

Ah. I'm an actress, you know? And I'll do it better than this one.

I just filed a complaint against you for unfair dismissal.

"But you didn't have a contract." "What do you mean, no? It was a verbal agreement!"

Go join the actors' union!

[CRIES] You are my black hand.

Come on, we're late and I want to get a good spot.

-I'll send you my videobook, okay? -Okay.

[JOKE] ÂEh? Ah.

Oh, you're leaving already?

Why would I stay? There are no customers.

I don't know if you are aware of the seriousness of the situation.

-No, I don't know if you're aware. -Why don't you invite me?

to an influencer, to give you free publicity

And TikTok…? -No, we already had it

with Delicious Celia at the Cafebrería.

That was at the Cafebrería, not at El Zegurola.

What are you doing? Let's go!

You're eager to have your eyes opened, huh?

Of course.

Why do they lie to us?

What lies behind this obsession with making us believe

That the earth is spherical? -That's what I say.

-[CHISTA] -Because Antarctica hides

ancient secrets they don't want us to know.

Probably frozen alien spaceships.

-[Laughs] What does it say? -Bruno, open your mind.

Why do we trust the authorities?

before our common sense?

When you travel by subway, how many of you hold onto the handrail?

[HONNERS] Flat, flat...

If the Earth rotated at 1600 kilometers per hour,

We wouldn't be able to stand without falling or being thrown off.

Excuse me, professor.

According to Newton's first law, we do not feel the movement

because it is uniform and constant.

It's called inertia, that's why we don't fall.

Do you trust this Newton guy more than your own experience?

-She has very low self-esteem. -If the Earth is flat,

Why do I see the ships disappearing over the horizon?

-Do they fall somewhere? -It's an optical effect

from refraction, like when it's hot

And the asphalt looks wet. -Bruno, sit down.

You're making a fool of yourself, please.

Don't you see that this guy is a scammer,

Is he taking your money with pseudoscience?

[BOOS]

You have the right to be a denier,

We respect all opinions. -Me, a denier?

"You're all deniers!" "But have you been to space?"

Have you seen the Earth with your own eyes to claim that it is spherical?

-And you, to claim it's flat? -Brothers, the end is near!

You must wake up from the Great Lie!

But who are you?

I am the great guru Sutra Prabandha Ghandaranyaka.

[Boos]

Oh, the great master Ghandaranyaka!

Join the Church of Truth and Goodness

Or succumb to the imminent end of the world!

Don't frighten me!

Jesus Christ was also expelled from the temple!

I am willing to be a martyr! The Great Final Judgment is approaching!

The Church of the Truth of the Good!

Free registration for the first 100

and a photo signed by Master Ghandaranyaka.

How interesting.

Thank you.

-Enjoy your stay. -Thank you.

-Let's see... -Wow, what a beautiful room.

Strawberries and champagne are my thing.

What should we do? We can go to the spa or have dinner at the oriental restaurant that...

Wait, wait. What?

Look, Greta, I think you're a very attractive woman,

But for a friend I have...

And why shouldn't we continue to be friends?

What if it doesn't go well?

We're neighbors, and we see each other every day.

And I have to run into your husband,

He is a tax inspector, and I own a company.

Yeah, maybe you're right.

Oh, poor Esteban, he doesn't deserve this.

Antonio certainly deserves it.

But I prefer to preserve our friendship.

Me too.

Well, then...

What do we do?

-Shall we put on a movie? -Oh, sure.

My dear, I still remember our walks

through the Sabatini gardens, as the light of the sunset

was reflected in our pupils

of young lovers.

Ma'am, I don't know if you're finding out.

Of course!

I saw a tear on her cheek.

-Wouldn't that be drool? -I'm going to the toilet.

Hold his hand in my absence, so he doesn't feel alone.

If you want your morphine dose increased, blink twice.

We're here!

What a long reach he's always had!

Even in death one cannot remain still.

-Logi, I love you... -[CHISTA]

Did he speak? What did he say?

-Nothing, just dying man talk. -Oh.

Muérase ya, que está està delirando.

One last kiss.

If they've already given him the last rites,

Don't take any chances.

Please... please...

One and you die, huh?

Hiring!

"But what are you doing, you degenerate?" "He asked me to."

How is Félix Coronado de Gordón y Zabalburu going to ask you,

Count of Yecla, the kiss of a maid?

The thing is...

Que?

There's one little thing we haven't told you.

Twelve members have joined the Church of the Truth of the Good group.

Uy, como los apóstoles. ¿Algún pibón?

No, unless you like non-normative bodies.

Well, we have our first meeting tomorrow.

And what are you going to tell them?

What is the Great Truth?

It doesn't matter, we're going to drug them.

Coque, as a drug expert, what do you recommend?

So that the faithful will be faithful to him?

-Burundanga. -Pues burundanga para 12, ¿eh?

Tell them we'll send them the top-secret location later.

Voluntary donation for entry: 50 euros.

Donations must be declared.

The Church of the Truth of the Good must be registered

in the register of Religious Entities

From the Ministry of Justice. -Guijarro, you're a real pain.

I want to wake up from the Great Lie!

Go ahead, geek! 13.

What is the Big Truth? Are we an alien experiment?

Don't be anxious. Come, I bless you.

Do you want to kiss my feet?

Ah...

-In principle, no. -Oh.

Maybe later, but...

Okay, we'll see.

What does this contain?

I am creating.

Hey, the famous girls had a table at 8 o'clock and it's 40.

I was going to cancel their reservation, huh? -No, we're not going to cancel anyone.

Come on, when they arrive, greet them with this cocktail.

OK.

Welcome to El Zegurola!

-Are you coming for dinner? -For drinks.

No, no, no, it's not for you!

Let's see...

It's slack, give it a little squirt of something!

Hello?

Oh!

Welcome to El Zegurola!

Come in, we've reserved the best table for you.

And there is no one else.

No. We've cancelled everyone.

so that you have the place just for yourselves.

VIP experience.

A short whiskey.

I'll throw them out right away.

A welcome cocktail?

Disgusting!

Go home, you're all ugly and you're not going to get any action!

Doña Fina, don't you ever get tired of insulting people?

When you have a passion...

Nice!

Fina, look what your peephole camera has recorded.

-What? -Another Moor!

This is one of those ISIS sleeper cells.

That little brat, she's brought terrorists right into our lives!

Oh, that's great.

We can ask them for salt, sugar, hand grenades.

Fina, I'm serious.

Me too.

-But why would they be terrorists? -Have you seen their appearance?

Menchu, appearances don't define people.

[RÃ E] Fuck no.

Did you interview them before bringing them in here?

Me? As long as they pay...

What if they plant a bomb in the building?

We're right in the city center, oblivious.

Thousands of lives are at stake!

He's ignored you, huh?

Well, we need an urgent meeting! Let's go!

So-and-so! Whore!

While I let myself be loved, you took advantage

to seduce my beloved behind my back!

He got really pushy, the way you were acting all prickly...

Traitorous maid, get out of my house!

I don't intend to let you take advantage of my kindness for even one more day.

That's it, go away, and let the guilt eat you up inside.

in Villarejos de la Resignación!

¡Parderrubias of the Jurisdiction!

Whatever! Get out of here!

[Timbre]

Ah...

Can I sleep with you? The marchioness has kicked me out of the house.

Yes, yes, we heard the screams.

What? You slept with the boyfriend, didn't you?

-50 years ago. -Damn, how resentful.

Come in. The Cockroach has made croquettes.

-They're delicious! -Come on.

[Timbre]

Uf.

Eh, ¿está Gabriela?

Talk to me, I'm your manager.

-Have you seen my videobook? -I loved it.

-You are incredible! -Really?

Is my girlfriend hitting on me?

-Incredible performance, Amador. -Ah, yes, yes.

Gabrielle is a star, she's a Meryl Street in the making.

-Do you want to be my co-star? -Ah!

-Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you! -Yes, yes, yes.

Come on, come on, come on, let the air circulate,

I already ate one of his children.

No, no, never in my life.

Come on, I refuse to let that idiot star in anything.

Bruno is brilliant.

Please free your mind from prejudices.

Look. Look, look.

Doctor, ayúdeme.

I cannot bear this intrinsic agony that devours my sanity.

And that painting is crooked!

No, it's your tortured psyche that sees it as twisted!

-Hey, what is "your psyche"? -Amador...

Okay, it's not as bad as I thought. But no, I refuse!

I've already told him that the paper is his.

Why don't you consult me? I'm the producer.

Because it's auteur cinema, and in auteur cinema

The author commands. -He says the Earth is flat!

And John Travolta is a Scientologist; he believes we've been poisoned.

Aliens. What do we do?

¿Cancelamos "Grease", "Pulp Fiction",

"Saturday night fever"...? No.

We must separate the artist from the person.

She's not an artist, she's a fart.

Are you listening to yourself?

You sound sexist, heteronormative, and patriarchal.

I'm sorry, but I'm not paying for that movie.

-Well, you tell him. -Well, I'll tell him.

Wow, what a moment!

¡Ale hop!

Shell!

Damn! I'm going to put up a fence, okay?

-Do you have the burundanga or not? -Yes, yes.

-Ibrahim never fails. -Perfect.

It must be tested before being given to the faithful.

Take.

Put a little bit here.

Be careful with this, okay? Because last time

Mr. Dolphin and you almost tripped over each other from behind.

Don't worry, I'm not going to try it this time.

The great guru has to be focused.

-Sorry for the delay. -Just in time for the toast!

Take.

Ah, thank you. But I prefer not to drink during the week.

Hey, it's a liqueur that Coque's grandmother makes.

Don't be rude to him in the village, okay?

Come on, for the Church of the Truth of the Good.

Chinchín.

-How's it going? -It's strong.

-But how are you feeling? -Me? Very well.

The dose needs to be regulated.

Are you alright?

TÃombese, tÃombese.

I don't drink...

Come on.

[QUESTION]

Pebble...

I am the great guru Sutra Prabandha Ghandaranyaka...

Who?

Your teacher, damn it.

Well, here we are in El Zegurola. Look how beautiful everything is.

It has a warm light, and some rather strange patterns.

But we assume it's by one of these modern artists.

The truth is, we've had five courses.

And we're still starving. -A little.

Our chef presents a symphony of sea bass,

cured in citrus salt for 48 hours,

arranged on a mirror of aniseed fennel cream

and emulsified at low temperature.

The dish is crowned with a bergamot foam,

which adds an aromatic freshness to the whole.

It is served with a tapioca crisp.

infused with vegetable charcoal, adding texture

Slightly earthy. It is recommended to start

from the center, going through all the elements

In an immersive way. Enjoy!

How are you?

Look, I'd kill for a slice of tortilla right now.

But I adore my son, but I don't know if it's worth it.

Welcome to the club, beautiful.

You'll see when it grows up and smells bad and contradicts you in everything.

and call you a whore.

No, and to hell with passion with husband.

But tell me something good, you bitches.

You have a new life, huh? Either you accept it or you shoot yourself.

Well, and nobody has forced you to reproduce.

[Mobile]

-What? -[OSCAR] "How "what"? Where are you?"

I have to go.

I used to be an influencer too, you know?

I was Yoli Morcillo, Queen of Glitter.

-Very good. -Take advantage of the fact that you are young now.

And you're still good-looking, because later on, one becomes a mother.

And everything goes to shit. -But what are you saying?

If the tradwives are kicking it. -¿Who?

Tradwives are women who cook super healthy food.

They take care of their husband, they take care of their child, and they are always super happy.

And they're gorgeous, huh? They know how to dress.

And they have a super sweet voice, they put on a submissive voice, like this, look.

Love is also shown in the kitchen,

So today I've decided to surprise my family

with a simple seven-course menu.

For the bread, I started by grinding my own seeds.

But how many followers does this firecracker have?

-That one? Three and a half million. -Ah.

Oh, my God, they are going to jump into the void!

I don't understand how you haven't seen "Thelma and Louise".

It's feminism 101.

What if we buy a convertible and run away like they did?

[RE] Do you know what makes hair tangled?

We're selling everything and moving to Costa Rica.

You, you, to sleep.

Lesbianism has gone to your head.

-Good night. -Sleep well.

-Greta, no way! -Sorry.

[SIGHS]

Oh...

Four! I'll eat you and count myself 20.

-Damn. -I can't, there's a bridge here.

It's so nice being unemployed, I'd forgotten.

[Mobile]

Good heavens.

Hang up, damn it, we're here for what we're here for.

¿Señora?

Me? Just got on the bus, on my way to my village.

Okay, fine.

Yes, yes, I'm coming.

It didn't even last a day.

But we've already finished the game, haven't we?

-Tres. -You.

-I'll eat this. -Damn, I'm not leaving the house.

Carmelito, you're a squatter even when playing Parcheesi.

[RÍE]

The end is near! Do you want to discover the Great Truth?

-Escuchad al gran gurú Ghandaranyaka. -¡AgustÃn, siéntate!

Can you explain why you called me?

I am not the owner.

Because you could be blown away!

First and only item on the agenda:

Suspected terrorist activity at the Airbnb.

The Guijarro brat has gotten us into

An Isis cell on the landing. -Here we go again!

-Why are they going to be terrorists? -Because they are Arabs.

-Well, there's nothing more to it than looking at them. -Maybe they're sheikhs.

A sheikh stays at the Ritz, not in a hovel.

As long as they're not squatters, I'm fine with it...

In short, the terrorists come, plant their bomb, and leave.

Just in case, we've uploaded a video of their faces.

to Instagram, to see if citizen collaboration

It clears up our doubts.

Fina, that goes against data protection law.

[RÍEN]

Terrorism aside, with what permission

Did you put the Airbnb there? -It's not in the bylaws

tourist rentals are prohibited.

We'll change it right now. Votes in favor of banning Airbnb.

That's what I say, I'm the president.

-Well, say it! -You're all going a bit crazy, aren't you?

I'm embarrassed for you that you discriminate against tourists

who come peacefully to Spain to increase

Our Gross Domestic Product just because of race or...

[Conversation in Arabic]

Religión.

Votes in favor of banning Airbnb.

Screw you, scum!

Obey, brat! Democracy has spoken!

What a load of crap.

And there’s also.

Hey, the Frankfurt guru is very interesting.

-Oh, yes, yes, yes. -She had a very special energy,

I feel like all my chakras have been realigned.

[RÍEN]

Sisters, the end is near! Do you want to discover the Great Truth?

Agustin, what are you doing?

Come and listen to the great guru and awaken yourselves too.

-Jesus. -No. Sutra Prabandha Ghandaranyaka.

I'm gone for 24 hours and she starts a cult. I can't take it anymore.

Hey, I had a great time, huh?

And I think we've done the right thing.

Yes, me too.

A friendly hug?

OK.

Greta, what was our agreement?

Wait a minute, what about your husband?

Working.

-[ESTEBAN] Greta, is that you? -Esteban?

In the bedroom.

Greta?

Yes!

What's wrong with you?

Coque's grandmother's liqueur.

It's not bad, but they really bore you.

with each dish...

You spend more time listening to the waitress's spiel.

What about eating? -Oh.

We're still a little hungry

And we've come to a Mexican place and we're eating some nachos...

-¡That's the attractive ones, you bastards! -I don't know if it's time,

But we would like you to pay us for the overtime.

that it took us a while to learn the dishes.

No, it's not the right time.

-Hello. -Welcome to El Zegurola.

I saw some stories from your restaurant on Instagram

And I wanted to... -No way.

It's my fault for stooping to inviting influencers

who have no palate.

Relax, I'm not interested in your food.

I came for the paintings.

¿Huh?

I am fascinated, overwhelmed by the language, the conceptual depth.

They project an inner life that combines simplicity

with ambiguity, the exact with the diluted.

And they also have something intuitive and evanescent about them.

And they exude a certain erotic charge.

-¿ErÃ3tica load? -How much?

-No, no, no, they're not for sale. -Darling, everything is for sale.

Verónica Fontaine, gallery owner. Can you give me the artist's contact information?

She prefers anonymity.

-But you know her personally, don't you? -Yes, quite well.

Convince her to do an exhibition.

¿Aquí?

It would be a sin to deprive the world of its art.

I'll talk to her and see what she says.

Now that I'm going to be famous, I need a bigger wardrobe.

Come on. Imagine if someone took a sneaky picture of me.

And I appear in "Diez Minutos" looking like this.

-Come on, I'm dying! -Of course, my love.

-You deserve everything. -Oh, I could just eat you up!

Amador Rivas. Do you see this young woman?

Do you have anything as beautiful as her in the store?

Excuse me? We're going to spend money.

a paltry amount of money and we want people around,

sucking us up, which is what we like.

-Yes. -Yes.

Another "Pretty Woman" fanatic. Let's see...

Priscilla, please, can you attend to this gentleman?

¡Cari! ¡Cari, look at that pocket!

Oh, oh, oh... Prisci, we'll take this bag.

No, no, this size is not very practical.

-Do you have a bigger one? -Yes, I'll check it in the warehouse.

Come on.

Honey, I made that excuse because it's very expensive.

It doesn't matter, man. For my sweetheart, whatever she does...

Ah! They've accidentally added a zero.

Yes, it's made of crocodile.

But how can one handbag be worth the same as two Dacia Sandero cars?

How many people have died hunting the crocodile?

Here it comes, here it comes...

Sorry, we don't have the large size right now.

Good heavens.

If you'd like, I can order it for you and we'll have it here in three days.

No, no, we've lost interest.

We're leaving very disappointed! Let's go, let's go.

Welcome to this traditional space

full of love, where we women know

What is our place?

And what better way to fight feminism?

How about making our own homemade butter?

How beautiful and eco-friendly it is to dress your child

with clothes knitted by you.

Each stitch is a heartbeat of maternal love.

Today I'll show you how to clean your home without chemicals.

This is how you clean the toilet with apple cider vinegar

and positive energy.

Hello.

My love, welcome home.

-What does it smell like? -I've cleaned the carpet

with essential oils of eucalyptus and lavender.

Sit down, my love. I'll take care of everything.

How's work?

Good, very good.

I had a photoshoot for...

for a lingerie brand.

I'm sure you took some beautiful photos.

I have prepared this mare e monti risotto for you

with wild mushrooms and king prawns. -Have you cooked?

[NODS] And for dessert, coconut flan.

I love you, my strong man and provider.

Hello?

¿Agustín?

First commandment.

You shall love the guru above all things!

Eighth!

Stir-fried, which is more difficult.

[ALL] You shall not bear false witness against your family or lie about your wages!

Eleventh!

There isn't. [RE]

Doña Berta, welcome to the Church of Truth

Good quality. Would you like a tunic? I have XS.

Let this be the last time you come to bother me at work!

What job?

Taking advantage of poor, unfortunate people

who are just looking for a little inner peace?

What the Catholic Church does: I give it meaning

to their shitty lives promising them things

When they die. -It's not the same.

Berta, this is a goldmine! Look.

I have raised 1570 euros in cash.

More about the dataphone.

Is it the one from Mariscos Recio?

Now let's see how I square the box!

Oh, and an old woman has given me a rustic property in Rebolledo.

And why do you want a rustic property in Rebolledo?

For spiritual retreats.

In the domains of the great guru Ghandaranyaka

The sun will not set.

[SUSUPIRA] Ya.

-Dad, what do I get out of this? -Enlightenment, my son.

[RÍE]

We're going to line it!

I feel like Macaulay Culkin's mother!

Like back in the days of "Home Alone," right? Not like now.

-Honey, are we really going to sell

Our daughter's drawings? What kind of parents are we?

Some really nice people who love her madly

and they don't want to give him a childhood with economic hardship.

Okay, what should we call this one?

"Cromatic soup".

—"Mental vortex." —Oh, really...

—"Liquid timelessness." —Ah, Cris...

I haven't told the gallery owner yes yet.

-You're taking your time. -Isn't that a bit of a scam?

-Martin, art is subjective.

Call!

Hiring!

I'm so glad you've come to your senses.

Me? You fired me.

I've been reflecting and I think that after so many years

We are united by a bond that goes beyond the simple maid-lady relationship.

It's not right to throw yourself into destitution.

because of a silly slip-up with my beloved. -Well, silly...

What were they, two meetings, three...?

Five, six...?

-We were involved for eight years. -Wow!

-Eight years, you piece of shit? -Well, don't ask.

Are you telling me that Felix Coronado de Gordon

and Zabalburu, Count of Yecla, my great love of youth,

Was he torn between two women? Let's go to the hospital!

Now? But let that good man die in peace.

You have to choose one of the two! I can't be left wondering!

Well, I'll wait until I unpack my suitcase.

Now, now!

What was the code?

-Zero. -Zero.

Hey, if you were a jihadist, where would you hide the bombs?

I don't know

You look for terrorist objects in general.

¡Hey!

[THEY SHOUT] -What are you doing?

Please don't kill me, I haven't lived my great love!

I can help you plant the bombs, even though I hate everyone.

What are you saying, ma'am?

But aren't you terrorists?

Why us?

You want to reconquer Al-Andalus.

Are you the ones who put our video on the Internet?

Because of you, they already know where we are.

Who?

In Saudi Arabia we are condemned to death.

-For being terrorists! -For being homosexuals.

-We're a couple. -Oh...

[RÍEN]

Oh, come on, what a silly confusion, listen.

So we'll let you live your love freely.

-And if you want to stay for Gay Pride,

Well, we'll put you on a float.

Hala, hala. Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah...

The bag was almost cheaper.

What are you saying, my love? Huh? Nothing, nothing.

-You already have a wardrobe, right? -Oh, yes.

Yes, yes. Let's see what I'll wear tomorrow.

for the demonstration against the Deep State.

Against what?

Politicians are not human beings, they are clones.

Those who really call the shots are a group of millionaires operating behind the scenes.

The Bilderberg Club. -Sure, the beer people.

[Timbre]

Sí, Amador, sí.

Oh my God...

Gabriela, listen, I feel it in my soul,

But I'm not going to finance "The Labyrinth of Whispers".

How? Why not?

Because I've decided to invest that money in getting evidence.

that irrefutably prove that the Earth is round.

Okay. And how are you going to achieve that?

Traveling to space.

I'm going to be a space tourist, like Katy Perry.

[RÍE]

Are you going to get on a rocket? You?

I will overcome my phobia for the good of humanity.

I will go beyond the ionosphere

And I'll take a very smiley selfie with the Earth in the background.

But wait, how much does that cost?

A paste, and it only takes 10 minutes.

But it's worth it.

If you'll excuse me, I'm going to get in shape.

for the mission.

Today Oscar felt like having a cheese sandwich for a snack,

And because I love him very much, I got to work.

For the brioche, I mixed milk, yeast, sugar, eggs, and salt.

and I loved him well.

Just for him, so many calories for us

They're not good for us, okay, girls?

We'll keep to the line,

because we have to look divine for our husbands.

While the dough rested, I started making the cheese.

I cut some fresh milk with lemon.

If it's freshly milked, even better.

I cooked it when it cooled down and with a little heat

they are ball-shaped.

The bread was ready, so I toasted it.

with my homemade butter and filled it with cheese,

I melted it with the blowtorch, and...

There you go!

A Óscar le encantó.

One more day avoiding divorce.

I don't understand what the problem is. Wasn't the sandwich good?

Yes, yes, yes. If the bitch has turned

She's like a picture-perfect housewife, but she talks to me

with a Smurfette-like voice, which... -Let me see if I understand:

your wife, with whom you were constantly fighting,

Now he takes care of you, he prepares delicious food for you,

He speaks to you sweetly, and do you miss him?

treat you like shit?

A little bit, yes.

You live trapped in the Great Lie, but don't worry,

The end is near and the great guru Ghandaranyaka

has the answer.

Felix, darling!

Who has been the love of your life, this lollipop or me?

But look at him, he can't speak anymore, he's intubated.

-Yes, he can! Yes, he can! -[STAMPS]

-What did he say? -How should I know.

Felix, point to the person who was the love of your life

And who do you want to hold your hand on your deathbed?

[Beeps]

Who did he point out?

She's kicked the bucket, ma'am.

¡No, no, Félix!

Come back! Come back!

It's already stiff, where are you going with that?

You can't take the secret to your grave!

Hey, what are you doing? Stop that!

-Pinchele algo! -Señora, por favor.

"Stick something on him!" "Ma'am, he can't be here!"

Come on, please, he can't be here!

How wonderful.

The strength of the stroke, the use of light.

It's a breathtaking beauty.

Don't you feel a little unwell?

Why is that bad?

I already have a buyer for "Winter Sun",

"Juxtaposition" and "Frenzy". -These paintings sell themselves.

When will I be able to meet the artist?

Never.

She says that direct contact

The public's perspective is distorted.

It's her.

-What? -The drawings are by my daughter Lucía.

And I wouldn't sell them for all the gold in the world.

Yes, and I'm open to negotiation.

My children, I present myself before you

charged with mystical energy

and willing to share it through my feet.

You can play them for me for 50 euros.

[THEY SPEAK AT THE SAME TIME]

-The peace shot. -Ah, yes.

Newly arrived from Andromeda, just like the seed of life,

our alien liquor,

which will put you in contact with the Great Truth.

Master, end our suffering!

We want to meet our creators!

What a mania for spoilers!

Touch, touch, my daughter.

[RÃ E] That's it, that's it.

What are the aliens that were planted among us like?

Nothing, bigheads, with your eyes in the back, like all Martians.

But I have to say that they are not happy with you,

You are not giving up all your possessions.

There's no room for cheapskates on the spaceship!

Master, we have given you everything we have!

That's a lie! I'm looking at his watch.

-Toín! -The wig.

Master, I am ready to be freed from my earthly form!

-Ah! -Well, very good, Agustin.

You'll go in premium tourist class, there's more legroom.

Very good.

-What are you doing? -That's gasoline.

Who else wants to meet our creators now?

They are watching us from their ship in invisible mode,

They are ready to collect our ashes!

Hey, I'm the prophet here!

Mr. Recio, they're going to burn themselves alive.

Wait a minute, wait a minute! Bizum first!

-¡Gurú Ghandaranyaka, acompáñenos! -¡Quita, coño!

Customs, customs!

Who has a lighter? I don't smoke.

It's here, officers! My husband has been drugged!

Who is responsible for all this?

That one over there, the one with the jerrycan!

He wants to burn us all!

Fire, set us free!

What a mess this man has made of things.

Your friend has ruined my cult!

Just now, when we were taking off!

-You see. -Antonio, can't you just sit still?

I'm an entrepreneur. If I don't take action, I fade away.

That's not entrepreneurship, that's fraud.

People are idiots.

It is my moral obligation to get their money.

[Timbre]

Antonio Recio?

Why are you asking? You already know me.

[SIGHS]

[Door]

Gabrielle.

Gabrielle, are you alright?

No.

I don't feel like doing anything, nothing but dying!

Do you want me to beat the crap out of Bruno?

I'll put it into orbit with one slap and save the money.

-Amador, do you love me? -Yes, yes, of course, there's no doubt about it.

-¿Por? - Did you produce the film?

How...? But...

Honey, how was the gym?

-Can you explain that to me? -From now on,

We're going to eat organic eggs from stress-free hens.

Stress-free, locked in an apartment.

It's provisional.

I'm looking for a country house to have our own vegetable garden.

But Yoli, you like the center.

Come on, let's go to bed, we need to give Goku a little brother.

Having only one child is not a trait of a tradwife.

[Timbre]

-Greta. -I've only come to apologize.

I feel very guilty for having put it back on

Our friendship is in danger. -No...

I know it's been very uncomfortable for you. I got carried away.

because of what you said about the lesbian in me,

But don't worry... -Antonio has been arrested.

Yes, I'm very sorry.

No, what I mean is... we're alone.

Greta, Greta...

Complaint for "Incitement to collective suicide"

in a New Age sect" against...

-But you again? -I demand acquittal!

My acolytes are imbeciles and have twisted my words.

Is Jesus Christ responsible for the Holy Inquisition?

Or Allah of the Twin Towers?

I'm fed up with you!

Pretrial detention with bail set at...

Don't celebrate too soon, puppet of power,

I've thought it all through.

I am a woman.

But what is she saying? But how can she be a woman?

I went to the registry and changed my ID card.

You can't compete against my wholesaler's intellect.

Very well, Mrs. Recio, you can relax,

that all their rights will be respected.

"Mom?"

[Moans]

Hello?

[GIMEN]

Oh and...

And who am I going to share a cell with?

There's a lot of liqueur candy here, isn't there?

I'd like one with meringue-colored shorts, you know?

Teach me how to twerk.

¡Uy!

Wait a minute, wait a minute, there's a mistake here!

I am a woman!

They too.

That's Manolo, that's Juanpe, that's Ramón.

Ah!

What's up, beautiful?

A Óscar... [RÍE]

ÂClap! ¡Uh!

Sí, sí, sí, sí...

That bastard Rancio...

Come on, what are you doing? [LAUGH]

[RÍEN]

Sí, aquí.

-Wait, this mobile phone... -Just a second.

[FROG EN] Nothing.

How are you?

It's strong.

But how are you feeling? [LAUGH]

Votes in favor of banning the "Airrambi"!

It's not "Airrambi", but what's it like?

Hey, not my little faces, okay? [LAUGH]

-Oh! -Corta.

But how can one handbag cost the same as two Dacias...?

[RÍEN]