All language subtitles for Silver Linings Playbook (2012 - English Subs)

"What, are you
kidding me? Sundays?

I love Sundays.
I live for Sundays.

The whole family's together.
Mom makes braciole.

Dad puts the jersey on.
We're all watching the game.

Yeah, it drives me crazy,
and yes, I was negative.

You didn't even know that I
loved it, Nikki, but I did.

I just didn't appreciate it,

or you, before."

Come on. Time to go.

"I lost all that. I blew it.
But you also blew it.

But we can get it back.

We're gonna get it back.
It's all gonna be better now.

I'm better now and I hope you are too.
And I'm gonna appreciate..."

I'll be there in a minute, OK?

Doctor's waiting. Let's go!

I'll be there in a minute.

"That's true love."

Yeah, that's
when I had long hair.

People say I talk
about my hair too much.

And it was just the way I want it,
but he cut it back too far.

He cut this side back too far
trying to even it up.

I didn't tell him to do that.
I said, "Just cut it the way..."

Once you get in the right frame
of mind, I think anything's possible.

I think we so often get caught
in this state of negativity

and it's a poison like nothing else.

Technically, you can take him
out against our recommendation,

but you assume a lot of liability
in the eyes of the court.

And he's just getting
used to the routine here.

I don't want him to get
used to the routine here.

Eight months is already long enough.

Hey, Mom.

Can we give Danny
a ride to North Philly?

What? I don't understand.

Mom, no, it'll be fine. It'll be fine.

I guess everybody's
leaving today!

Hello Mrs. S.
An honor to finally meet you.

Pat told me all about you,
how God made you rich in character,

and you're the mighty oak
that hold the household together,

and not to mention the lasagna you make
on game day when the birds play.

Danny was in for assault
because of crystal meth and alcohol.

- Bad combination.
- Yeah. On top of an anxiety disorder.

That's when I was
an X-ray technician and... and I...

...my ADD and my anxiety,
I had a lot of access

to medication and I took
advantage of it.

That's when my hair was long, too.

But my hair only grew when I was older
'cause when I was younger,

my hair didn't grow
because my brother...

Remember I told you
about my brother, he had a Jheri curl

and I couldn't get a Jheri curl
because my hair didn't grow long...

He's obsessed with his hair.

I was so jealous of my brother...
Wait a minute.

- Hello?
- Yeah, it looks great now.

- You like it?
- No, it's good now.

Wait, man, you're going the wrong way.

- It's this way.
- What?

Are you sure about that?

I'll bring him back right away.

You lied to me, Pat.
Danny's not allowed to leave.

All right, Mom, just hold on a sec.
Let's just talk about this.

Mom, just listen...

Don't touch the steering wheel!

Pat, this whole thing was a mistake.

I'm sorry, Mom. You OK?

I am out on a limb for you
with the courts right now.

It's my fault. Pat didn't know.
Pat didn't know.

He's my friend, so he's rooting for me.

I'm having a disagreement with
the hospital, but we're working it out.

Take me back to the hospital,
but take Pat home, he's fine.

Trust me. You'll see,
he's fine. It's my fault.

Mom, could we stop at the library?

I wanna read Nikki's
entire English high school syllabus.

Mom, it's a good thing.
I'm remaking myself.

DeSean Jackson.

What happened to DeSean Jackson?

- Come on, tell me that one.
- It's insanity.

He spikes the ball at the one-yard line.
The one-fucking-yard line.

I mean, get into the end zone, dummy.

I mean, he celebrates
before he's even in.

You know something?
It's nothing new.

Your team does that all the time.

They get close and then they blow it.

They've got an inferiority complex.

Wait a minute.
What are you talking about?

What makes the Cowboys
America's Team?

Because we are,
we're America's Team.

You should be with us,
with Philadelphia,

what's the matter with you?
You're a fucking traitor.

What's more American than a cowboy?

- You know what's more American?
- What?

Benjamin Franklin,
that's what's more American.

- Benjamin Franklin?
- Benjamin Franklin.

The founder of our country, Philadelphia.

With the little
glasses and long scraggly hair?

What about
the lightning with the kite?

He stood in a storm with a kite.

If he wasn't on the $100 bill,
nobody would even know who he is.

- Why you got so many of these things?
- Don't touch them.

I didn't even touch them.
Don't blame me.

Who did this?
Who took the remotes like this?

- Did you do this, Randy?
- No, I don't touch them.

As a matter of fact,
I don't know why you need so many.

Hey! Ah! There she is!

Look how beautiful!

What? What's this?

- Everything good?
- Mm-hm.

Ah.

- Where is it?
- It's right here.

You got it. Well, we got that.

We don't want them to steal that.

- You still got yours?
- Yeah, I got mine.

So, you don't talk to me?
You didn't tell me you took him out?

Well, he's ready. Look at him.

You didn't tell Dad
you were picking me up?

Don't worry about that.

I wanna make sure when
you come out that you're OK,

and she didn't say anything.
You didn't tell me.

The court said yes. Don't worry.

Yeah, but what did the doctor say?

Because the court listens to the doctor.

- Yeah, and the court said...
- The court listens to the doctor.

Dad, Dad... Relax.

The court said it's fine, OK?
Let it go.

Yeah. Don't worry.

Dad, I'm in there because of the court.

That's the agreement
that we made months ago.

It was a plea bargain with the courts.

The lawyer he instructed,
he said we should plead that,

and then I would serve eight
months and then I'd get out.

It's all under control.

Well...
OK, OK. Congratulations.

Thank you. So what are
you doing with yourself?

You know, I'm gonna start a restaurant.
It's gonna be a cheesesteak place.

How you gonna pay for it?

I'm gonna pay for it,
don't worry about it.

From your bookmaking?

- Who told you that?
- Mom told me. Outside.

- I did not. No, I didn't.
- You just told me outside, Mom.

What are you talking about?

Five minutes ago, we were
walking up the stairs, you said,

"Don't say anything, but Dad
lost his job and he's bookmaking."

Why? Why, Dolores?
Why did you say that to him?

He has the wrong idea.
Everything is fine, Patrick.

I'm more concerned
about you than anything else.

- Good, Dad. Good.
- OK, the question, the big question is

what are you
gonna do with yourself?

What am I doing?
I'm getting in shape.

I'm getting trim,
I'm getting really fit for Nikki.

I'm gonna read Nikki's teaching syllabus
and get my old job back.

Nikki sold the house. She left.

- Didn't your mother tell you?
- Let me tell you something.

You don't know anything about
my marriage, OK, Dad? All right?

Our marriage, we're
very, very much in love, OK?

Just like you two.

Listen, Patrick... she's gone.
She's not around anymore. Nikki left.

What are you doing, Dad?
Excelsior.

- Excelsior. Excelsior.
- What does that mean?

It means you know what I'm gonna do?
I'm gonna take all this negativity

and I'm gonna use it as fuel,
and I'm gonna find a silver lining,

that's what I'm gonna do.
And that's no bullshit.

That's no bullshit.
That takes work and that's the truth.

What the fuck?!

Stupid fucking book!

I just can't believe Nikki's
teaching that book to the kids.

I mean, the whole time,
let me just break it down for you.

The whole time, you're rooting for
this Hemingway guy to survive the war

and to be with the woman that
he loves, Catherine Barkley.

It's 4:00 in the morning, Pat.

And he does. He does.
He survives the war.

After getting blown up, he survives it,

and he escapes to Switzerland
with Catherine.

But now Catherine's pregnant.
Isn't that wonderful? She's pregnant.

And they escape up into the mountains
and they're gonna be happy,

and they're gonna
be drinking wine and they dance.

They both like to dance with each other.
There's scenes of them dancing,

which was boring, but I liked it,
because they were happy.

You think he ends it there? No!

He writes another ending.
She dies, Dad.

I mean, the world's hard enough
as it is, guys.

It's fucking hard enough as it is.

Can't somebody say,
"Hey, let's be positive?

Let's have a good ending to the story?"

Pat, you owe us an apology.

Mom, I can't apologize.
I'm not gonna apologize for this.

You know what I will do? I will
apologize on behalf of Ernest Hemingway,

because that's who's to blame here.

Yeah, have Ernest Hemingway call
us and apologize to us, too.

- Why didn't you run with me, huh?
- I was reading.

Oh, please. Do us a favor,
don't read for a while.

- What're you wearing a garbage bag for?
- Gonna go run now.

Wait. Wait, wait, wait.
You have to fix this window.

- I'll fix it when I get back.
- Fix it now.

Get in the car, Pat.
You have to go to therapy.

- I don't wanna go to therapy.
- You have to go. It's part of the deal.

You can't live with us and not go.

Is that song really playing?

We have music sometimes.

That song is killing me.
Could you please turn it off?

- I can't.
- What do you mean, you can't?

I don't have the controls.
I'm sorry, I...

Did Dr. Timbers
put you up to this?

Is there a speaker here?

Is the speaker here?

I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
OK? I'm sorry.

I'll fix all this, OK?

That was a messed up thing
you did, Dr. Patel, all right?

That's a messed up thing.
I'm sorry, but that's...

You can call me Cliff, please.

Yeah, well, Cliff,
that's not the way

you're supposed
to meet people, OK?

Why don't you write that down
in your, I don't know,

you have a little book
you write stuff down in?

I'm sorry about that song.

I just wanted to see if it
was still a trigger for you.

Bravo. It's a trigger.

I'm not gonna take any meds,
I should just tell you that right now.

- No, you have to take medicine.
- No, I'm not gonna take any meds.

- It makes me foggy...
- No, you will have to take medication.

I don't want any meds, Doctor.

I'm sorry, look,
I am not the explosion guy, OK?

My father is the explosion guy.

I'm not that guy.
He got kicked out of that stadium.

He beat up so many people at Eagles
games, he's on the exclusion list.

- I had one incident.
- One incident can change a lifetime.

But I'm ready.

I'm ready to take responsibility
for my side of the street.

She just needs to take
responsibility for hers.

What's hers?

- "What's hers?"
- Mm-hm.

Are you joking?

Let's go back to the incident.

I come home from work after I left
early, which I never do, by the way,

but I got in a fight with Nancy,
the high school principal.

I come home and what's playing
but the song from my wedding.

The song that you so charmingly
played out here today for us.

That's playing and I don't think
anything of it.

Which is odd, 'cause I should've.
I come home, what do I see? I see...

...I walk in the door and I see
underwear and pieces of clothing,

and a guy's pants with his belt in it,
and I walk up the stairs,

and all of a sudden I see the DVD
player, and on the DVD player

is the CD and it's playing
the wedding song.

And then I look down and I see
my wife's panties on the ground.

And then I look up and I see
her naked in the shower,

and I think, "Oh, that's kinda
sweet, she's in the shower.

What a perfect thing. I'm gonna
find her and maybe I'll go in there.

We never fuck in the shower
anymore. Maybe today we will."

I pull the curtain back and there's
the fucking history teacher with tenure.

And you know what he says to me?

"You should probably go."
That's what he says to me.

So yeah, I snapped.
I almost beat him to death.

But then I get fucking chastised for it?
That I'm parallel to my father?

- I don't think so.
- All right.

Can you talk about something
that you did, before or after?

Yeah, about a week before the incident,
I called the cops and I told them

that my wife and the history guy
were plotting against me

by embezzling money from
the local high school, which...

...wasn't true.
It was a delusion.

And we later found out from
the hospital that it's because I'm...

Undiagnosed bipolar.

Yeah. With mood swings and...

...weird thinking brought on
by severe stress,

which rarely happens, thank God.

And then the shower incident happened
and that's when everything snapped,

so... I then realized that,
oh, wow, you know,

I've been dealing with this
my whole life.

And without any supervision.

I've been doing it all on my own,
with no help and, you know,

basically I've been living, like,
white-knuckling it this whole time.

- That had to be hard.
- Yeah, it's a lot to deal with,

especially when you don't know
what the hell is happening.

Which I do now. Sort of.

Pat, you have to take
your medication.

I can't, Mom. I can't.

I will call them.
They'll come for you.

Why would you do that?
You wouldn't do that.

- What's up?
- I don't feel good when I'm on it, Mom.

I'm so much clearer without it.
Mom, it makes me bloated.

I don't like the way it
makes me look.

Why don't you just
take your medication?

Come on, I'm doing it
with my physicality.

I've been working out,
that's what I'm doing.

Why is he wearing
a garbage bag?

Why are you wearing
a garbage bag?

- To sweat.
- Sit down. Come on, sit down.

We're seven minutes in, no score.
Come on, help turn the juju around.

- I don't believe in juju, Dad.
- Come on, Mr. Excelsior.

You wanna be positive?
Be positive. Sit down.

- All right, all right.
- Come on.

For a second. I'll
watch the beginning of the game.

He said
you're good luck, honey.

- What's that in your hand?
- It's a...

- See? Yeah.
- Handkerchief?

That's OCD. That's crazy.

What OCD? So I want my son
to watch the game with me, so sue me.

No, sit down, just sit down. Come on.

I want you to watch the game
with me. I'm not superstitious.

That's a small thing that I do.
If I make a lot of money,

what's the difference
if I do this or that?

It's a small thing.
Sit down. Come on.

Come on. I'm making
crabby snacks and homemades.

Touchdown!

You see? You see that?
You're meant to be here!

This is special.
Everything happens for a reason.

That's why you came home.

Embrace it! Embrace it!

I'm the reason?
I don't think so.

Yeah? Yeah, Tommy, Tommy, yes, yes.

- I got your whole sheet. Yeah.
- Mom.

No, no, I'm just confirming.

I'm just confirming. OK.

- Wait, wait, wait.
- Can I do an interview for

- a school project on mental illness?
- No.

- Come on! A school project!
- Don't pay any attention.

Who's that?

- That's not Rick D'Angelo, is it?
- That's him.

Is he the guy who's
having the problem?

- That's the one.
- They don't know what they're saying.

Don't let them hurt your feelings.

Patrick.
Get outta here with that!

Pat, don't look for Nikki!

- Patrick, please.
- Pat!

- Patty! Patty!
- Don't look for Nikki!

Miss Metgers!

- Oh, God! Oh, God!
- Nance!

It's my lucky day!
Look at you working on a Sunday!

- How are you? Hey.
- What are you doing here?

I just came by to say hi, let you know
I'm ready to come back to work.

- You shouldn't be here.
- I'll work full-time, half-time.

I'll work, I'll sub, I'll work history,
whatever you want.

Here, let me give you a hand.
I'm sorry. I'm being rude.

- I got it. I got it.
- Let me just ask you something.

- Does Nikki still work here?
- You know I can't tell you that.

- But Doug Culpepper is still here.
- Why would you tell me that?

You know he broke up my marriage.

What're you doing,
being a troublemaker?

You know, you look good.
Did you lose a lot of weight?

I did, yeah. I did. Thank you.

Get away from me!
Get away! Get away!

I'm better. I just want to let
you know, I'm better now.

OK? I'm better.
I feel good. I feel so good.

Look at my eyes.
Look at how clear they are.

- Don't hug me.
- I'm not a complainer anymore.

I'm a positive guy, OK?

- You just have to give it some time.
- Yes.

You know, a lot went down.
People will get over it.

- It'll be all good.
- Yes! It will be!

I'm gonna take that as a silver
development, Nancy!

A silver development!

- That's a silver lining!
- Good luck.

Ronnie!

Hey!

- There he is! He's back!
- Hey.

- Welcome home.
- Thank you.

- Welcome back, man.
- Yeah, I'm out.

- Yeah? You're out out?
- Uh-huh.

Cool, man.
Wow, you lost a lot of weight.

- I almost didn't recognize you.
- Thank you.

I'm sorry I didn't visit
you in the hospital.

You know, work's out of control,
you know, she had the baby.

I'm really glad you're back.
I miss you.

I really need someone to talk to.

You gotta come see the baby.
She's beautiful.

And Veronica wants
to make dinner for you.

Congratulations on the baby,
but I'm not buying the invitation.

'Cause you think
Veronica still hates you?

- I know Veronica still hates me.
- That's not true.

Yes, it is. Nikki always said that
"Ronnie's wife keeps

his social calendar where she
keeps his balls: in her purse."

- That's not true.
- Ronnie? What are you doing?

OK, it's a little true.

But if you think she still
hates you, you're wrong.

Because why would she tell me
to invite you to dinner? Hm?

- Did you invite him?
- Yes!

- Well, can he make it?
- I don't know yet!

Can you make it next Sunday?

- Sure.
- I'll see you next Sunday.

Now, you guys are still in touch
with Nikki, right?

- Does Veronica still talk to Nikki?
- Yeah.

- Get in here, please! I need you!
- OK.

As soon as you left, the Redskins threw
a trick play, a pitch out to Randie El.

Andy Reid wastes a timeout challenging
it, loses the challenge, loses the game.

You're in this house,
please show some respect for what I do.

And we should spend
time together anyway.

I'm trying to keep you
out of trouble, please.

I have very,
very good news, everybody.

- Very good news.
- What's that? What's the good news?

- Things are looking up.
- Oh, are they?

You know what, I knew why
they invited me over. I knew it.

Listen, she might be with that guy.

- Oh, no way!
- No, she might be with him.

She's afraid of you.
She doesn't want to talk to you.

- Doug Culpepper?
- Put the phone down.

You gotta put the phone down, please.

- Stop.
- Look, Dad, Dad.

- Dad, this is my life.
- Give me the phone. Gimme the phone.

- Pat!
- You gotta understand me.

- Don't talk about me...
- Well then, stop this!

- Then don't fucking do this.
- Don't talk about me like that.

Well then, don't behave this way.

I got a call asking to
check on this house.

- Pat Solatano? Yeah?
- Yeah.

Mrs. Solatano, Mr. Solatano,
I'm Officer Keogh.

I work this beat. Look, I heard
about the restraining order.

And I heard you went to your
old house and the school. It's not OK.

I've been assigned to your case,
so you're gonna be seeing a lot of me.

Do yourself a favor. Respect
the restraining order, OK? 500 feet.

You hear what he just said?

- You have a restraining order.
- Yeah, Dad, I know.

- Thank you, Officer.
- If you need anything, my card.

- Thank you. Sorry. We understand.
- Since when do cops have cards?

Shh! Shh!

Tell me one thing.
Would you like to be a guy

who goes back to jail
or to the hospital? Hm?

So take your medication,
and if you do fine, we'll reduce them.

Nikki's waiting for me to get in
shape and get my life in order,

and then she's gonna be with me.

And that's better
than any medication.

Pat, there is a possibility,
and I want you to be prepared for it,

that she may not return.

True love is about letting her
go and see if she returns.

In the meantime,
if you listen to that song,

I don't want you to fall apart.

So get a strategy, OK?
You need one.

Let me just say something,
I'm gonna say something.

OK.

This is what I believe to be true.
This is what I learned in the hospital.

You have to do everything you can,
you have to work your hardest,

and if you do, if you stay positive,
you have a shot at a silver lining.

- Work on a strategy, OK?
- All right.

My friend Ronnie's having
this party on Sunday night,

and it's like a real hoity-toity thing,

and his wife Veronica's
a real stickler for...

My mom got this Gap outfit
she wants me to wear,

but I wanna wear a jersey that my
brother Jake got me from the Eagles.

- Which jersey?
- DeSean Jackson.

DeSean Jackson is the man.

Well, that settles that.

Pat! What are you doing?

- I gotta go, man.
- Why?

I can't stay, come on. I made a mistake,
I shouldn't have worn this.

Dude, you're fine.
I like that jersey.

- I wish I was wearing that jersey.
- I feel like an idiot.

- Are you comfortable?
- Veronica's not gonna like it.

- Get over here.
- Plus you got a tie on.

Don't worry about it,
you're the guest of honor.

You come however you wanna come.

- Really?
- Get over here.

DeSean Jackson's in the house!

- You mean rookie of the year?
- Yeah.

DeSean Jackson?
DeSean Jackson?

Oh, you wore a jersey to dinner.

- Isn't it awesome?
- Not for dinner.

- Look, he got us flowers.
- Oh, that's sweet. That's sweet, Pat.

- That's lovely.
- And wine.

Check this out.
We just redid the whole thing.

Ow!

- Tremendous. Tremendous.
- Isn't it great?

Yeah, man. I'm thinking
of redoing it again.

- Why?
- Because...

You're making
a lot of paper to do that.

Yeah, we're doing all right, man.
I can't complain.

- Isn't the market down, though?
- It is down, but you know,

she wants more,
so I'm giving her more, man.

- You know, my dad lost his pension.
- I'm sorry, man.

A lot of people, man.
My uncle, too.

- Really?
- Yeah, but you know what?

No disrespect, it's not personal,
but this is the time to strike.

You start snapping up
commercial real estate cheap,

you flip it over and that's
when you make the money.

But the pressure...

...man, it's like...

You OK?

I'm not OK.
Don't tell anybody.

Listen to me.

- I feel like I'm getting crushed and...
- Crushed by what?

Everything.
The family, the baby, the job,

the fucking dicks at work,
and it's like, you know,

like I'm trying to do this,
you know, and then I'm like...

- ...suffocating.
- Holy shit.

You can't be happy all the time.

- Who told you you can't be happy?
- It's all right.

You just do your best,
you have no choice.

- That's not true at all.
- You just can't.

Ronnie, Ronnie, Ronnie...

I hope you're OK with Veronica's
sister coming over.

- You OK with that?
- Who?

Veronica's sister.

- Tiffany. Tiffany and Tommy?
- Tiffany.

- Yeah. Just Tiffany.
- What happened to Tommy?

- He died.
- Tommy died?

- Cops die.
- How'd he die?

- Please, don't bring it up.
- No, how did he die?

- I just said...
- How did who die?

Hey, Tiffany. This is Pat.
Pat, my sister-in-law, Tiffany.

You look nice.

- Thank you.
- I'm not flirting with you.

- Oh, I didn't think you were.
- I just see that you made an effort

and I'm gonna be better with my wife,
I'm working on that.

I wanna acknowledge her beauty.

I never used to do that.
I'm gonna do that now.

'Cause we're gonna be
better than ever, Nikki.

Just practicing.
How'd Tommy die?

What about your job?

- I just got fired, actually.
- Oh, really? How?

I mean, I'm sorry.
How'd that happen?

Does it really matter?

Baby, how's it going?

- Great, great.
- Everyone having fun?

I love flowers. Baby, can we
show them the house? Please, please...?

- The whole house?
- The whole house, yeah.

I think it'll be fun. it'll be fun.
We're gonna go on a tour now.

- Let's go see the house.
- Let's go for the tour.

I've been planning
this forever. I love our house.

I love our house.
I'm really excited about it.

Come on.

- Guess what it is.
- Oh, it's a television.

- It's a computer screen.
- Nope.

- Keep going, keep going.
- It's a brick oven.

- It's a light.
- Ooh! Warmer, warmer.

- Don't think so hard.
- It's a drawer at a morgue

where they pull out dead bodies
and shoot them with formaldehyde.

- Where would the body go, though?
- It's a joke.

It's a... fireplace.

In the middle of the wall?

We have a port in every room.
Gimme an iPod.

- I don't have an iPod.
- Who doesn't have an iPod?

Well, I don't have an iPod.
I don't even have a phone.

They won't let me make any calls.
They think I'm gonna call Nikki.

Don't worry about it.
Don't focus on her.

- I would call Nikki.
- I'm actually gonna give you

- one of my iPods. I have an old one.
- Gimme your iPod.

Give it to me.
Thank you, baby, thank you.

- Look, look, look...
- Of all the rooms

that there are iPod ports in, I'm happy

you brought us into the bathroom.

I can play music
for the baby in any room.

Can you play Ride the Lightning
by Metallica?

Pat was a history sub
at the high school, Tiffany.

Ask him about any president,
he knows 'em all.

Here's a fun fact. You know
where the term "OK" comes from?

- No. No, I don't.
- Where?

Well, Martin Van Buren,
the eighth president

of the United States of America,
is from Kinderhook, New York.

And he was part of a club,
a men's club, called Old Kinderhook.

And if you were cool,
you were in the club,

they'd say, "That guy's OK,"
'cause he was in the Old Kinderhooks.

- Really? That's interesting.
- Yeah. Pretty cool, right?

You know, Tiffany's been doing
this dance thing for years

and she's real good at it.

She's gonna be competing
at the Ben Franklin Hotel.

Oh, really? My wife loves dance.
Nikki loves dance.

Why do you have to talk
about me like that?

I'm just bragging about you.
Can't I brag about my little sister?

Don't talk about me in the third person.

- Please, gimme a break.
- I'm right here.

Just be nice. Just be nice.

Wow, wow. Fascinating.

Sorry. I don't wanna be mean.

I know. I know, I know.

What meds are you on?

Me? None.

I used to be on lithium
and Seroquel and Abilify,

but I don't take them anymore. No.

They make me foggy
and they also make me bloated.

Yeah, I was on Xanax
and Effexor,

but I agree, I wasn't as sharp,
so I stopped.

- You ever take Klonopin?
- Klonopin? Yeah.

- Right?
- Jesus.

- Like I said, "What? What day is it?"
- Yeah.

- How about Trazodone?
- Trazodone?

It flattens you out.
I mean, you are done.

It takes the light
right out of your eyes.

God, I bet it does.

- I'm tired. I wanna go.
- No. No, no, no, no.

We haven't even finished
the salad yet, or the duck.

I made the fire and ice cake.

I said I'm tired.

Are you gonna
walk me home or what?

You mean me?

Yeah, you. Are you
gonna walk me home?

You have poor social skills.
You have a problem.

- I have a problem?
- Hm-mm.

You say more inappropriate things
than appropriate things.

- You scare people.
- I tell the truth. But you're mean.

What? I'm not telling the truth?

Um, maybe I should
drive them home separately?

You can drive them
both home. Now.

- Stop talking about me in third person.
- Take Tiffany home first.

You love it when I have problems.
You love it. You love it, Veronica.

Because then you can be
the good one. Just say it.

No, I don't. I don't.

- I just wanted to have a nice dinner.
- God.

What is your problem?

Nothing's my problem. I'm fine.
I'm tired and I wanna go.

- Come on, are you ready?
- You really wanna go right now?

Yes, I really wanna go.
It's been great.

OK, guys, the baby is sleeping.

Sorry. I don't wanna
wake up the baby. Bye.

Sorry, man.

This is me.

Listen, I haven't dated
since before my marriage,

so I don't really remember
how this works.

How what works?

I saw the way you
were looking at me, Pat.

You felt it, I felt it, don't lie.
We're not liars like they are.

I live in the addition
around back,

which is completely
separate from my parents' house,

so there's no chance
of them walking in on us.

I hate the fact that you wore
a football jersey to dinner

because I hate football, but you can
fuck me if you turn the lights off, OK?

How old are you?

Old enough to have a marriage end
and not wind up in a mental hospital.

Look, I had a really
good time tonight,

and I think you're really
pretty, but I'm married, OK?

You're married?

So am I.

No, that's confusing. He's dead.

Wait, what? What's happening?

Oh, my God. Hey...

Are you OK? Ronnie called.

- Hey, is that make-up on your shirt?
- I don't know, Mom.

What happened over there?

- When am I gonna get a phone?
- You'll get a phone in due time.

- What happened?
- Pat!

Mom? Mom? Mom? I can't find
my wedding video. Mom, wake up.

- What is it?
- Where's my wedding video?

It's after 3:00!
What are you doing?

I looked in here, but this is
all your shit up here

for your sewing and everything.

Well, what about
in your father's study?

- Don't go in my study.
- Dad, not now!

Would you put it in here? It makes
no sense for you to put it in here.

- Patty, what are you doing?
- He's got all his Eagles videos

and not one video of my wedding.
Is it here? I mean...?

- Patty!
- It's probably in the attic.

Are you going in my study?

It feels to me like you
wanna hide my wedding video.

You think I can't handle it?

Please stop yelling!

I'm not yelling,
Mom, I'm just frustrated

because I should have
my fucking wedding video!

Pat! Pat!
You're gonna wake everybody up!

- I already looked all over there!
- It's somewhere!

- Calm down, Pat.
- I'm not calming down!

I don't give a fuck who hears,
I'm not calming down!

Anybody can wake up!
I'm not ashamed of it!

Pat! Stop it!

Let the whole neighborhood
wake up! I don't care!

Stop it! Stop it!

- No, Mom!
- What's going on?

- Come right down!
- What?

- Stop it!
- Hey!

It's my wedding!
It's my wedding video!

Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!

I can't watch a video?! No!

I can hear this
fucking song in my head!

Stop!

Mom!

What the fuck you doing?!
You fucked your mother up!

- No, no!
- Stop it!

Get off me, Dad!

- Stop hitting him!
- I'm not doing anything!

Patrizio, stop hitting him!
Patrizio, don't hit him!

- I'm not hitting him! He's hitting me!
- Let him go!

I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!

Police!
Open the door, please. Open up.

Mr. Solatano, I got a lot of calls.
People in the neighborhood are scared.

I gotta come in.

How are we doing in here, huh?

We've heard a lot of reports
from your neighbors, all right?

Nikki is being manipulated
and controlled. You have to talk to her.

- Hey, sit down.
- Officer...

You gotta stop
with these crazy theories.

He's a cop. What are you doing?

It's a medication problem,
but he's fine.

He's fine now? You wanna
send him back to Baltimore?

We know all about the explosion
at the psychiatrist's office.

What explosion? No.
Cliff is lying, that's not true.

He's not allowed to talk about that.

- Jesus Christ, who's that?
- Keep an eye on him.

Is this a bipolar episode?

Get out of here,
you little fucking idiot!

- Get outta here!
- Help me!

You can't tell Nikki
about this, Officer.

Look, I gotta make out a report.

- No, no! No!
- Sit down.

This guy's chasing me! Help me!

- Sit down!
- Sorry, I could write you a letter.

Just let me have five minutes,
explain how much better I'm doing.

Five hundred feet. Listen to me!

I'll take that fucking camera

and I'm gonna break it
over your fucking head.

Then I'm gonna come back
and interview you about what it's like

to get that fucking camera
broken over your head!

What are you laughing about?

- I'm sorry.
- I'm sorry.

Stop all that fucking noise!

Go back to sleep.
The party's over. Show's over.

This is not a reflection
of where I'm at.

Please, you can't tell her any of this.

- You can't tell Nikki about this.
- You need to pipe down.

Everything all right?

- Who was at the door?
- Who was that, Dad?

It was that kid
with the camera.

Good luck. I gotta write this up.

Don't write it up.
I don't want her to see this.

It's OK, everything
is OK. We're fine.

Thank you, we appreciate it.
Thank you.

- Hey!
- Whoa! Hey!

What the hell?

- What happened to your face?
- Weight lifting accident.

That sounds like bullshit.

Why'd you run by my house?

Did our little conversation
get you upset last night?

Hey, this is my route, OK?
Just back off.

This is my neighborhood.
You just ran by my house.

- I like to run by myself, OK?
- Me too.

Hey, I like to run alone!
Will you stop?

- OK? I'm running here!
- What?! Me too!

Well then, why don't you run
somewhere else?

There's fucking tons of roads to run in!
What are you trying to do?

I like this road.
This is my neighborhood.

- Oh, come on, please!
- Calm down, crazy.

Why are you...?

What the fuck?

Damn it!

- Hey!
- What the fuck?!

- I'm married!
- So am I!

What the fuck are you doing?
Your husband's dead!

- Where is your wife?
- You're crazy!

I'm not the one that just got
out of that hospital in Baltimore.

I'm not the big slut!

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I was a big slut,
but I'm not anymore.

There's always gonna be a part
of me that's sloppy and dirty,

but I like that,
with all the other parts of myself.

Can you say the same
about yourself, fucker?

Can you forgive?
Are you any good at that?

You seemed to have trouble last night.

Let me just set the record
straight about last night.

Hurting my mother was a mistake
and I hate myself for it,

and I hate my illness
and I want to control it.

My father, on the other hand,
had no trouble

slapping the shit out of me last night,
which I did not return,

because I could've
killed him and I didn't.

He's 65 years old. You don't think
I could've beat the shit out of him?

He was scared for your mother
and you hurt him as well.

Yes, last night was a mess. OK?

And I think he probably
just tried to do his best.

Pat, you have to have
a strategy. I told you earlier.

You need to recognize
these feelings coming to you,

otherwise you will
be sent back to Baltimore.

So when you get these feelings,
you need to get to a quieter place,

make peace with yourself,
however you can.

Yeah, but that's
easier said than done.

You have to do it.
You have no choice. Excelsior.

Yeah, excelsior.

Listen, I have a letter
I want you to give Nikki, OK?

- No.
- Why?

Because you have a restraining order.

What good are you, man?

Why did you have
this overwhelming urgency

- to see your wedding video last night?
- Oh, I don't know.

Because I'm married and I haven't seen
my wife in eight and a half months.

Maybe you think that Nikki's not around
and Tiffany's an attractive girl,

and if you get drawn
towards Tiffany,

you will spoil your chances
of getting Nikki back to you?

Not bad, Dr. Jones.

But I don't think I'm gonna blow
it with Nikki because Tiffany's a slut.

- Why is she a slut?
- After the dinner at Ronnie's,

she said, quote,
"We can go to the back house

and you can fuck me
as long as we turn the lights out."

Unquote. And she still
wears her wedding ring.

So she's a loyal,
married-to-a-dead-guy slut.

Maybe she just needs a friend
and she thought if she offers you sex,

it will be easier for you
to become friends with her.

She said she's
not a whore anymore.

But she likes that part of herself along
with all the other parts of herself,

- and can I say the same?
- Can you?

Is that? You're asking me...
you're really asking me that question?

Yes.

All my crazy sad shit?
What, are you fucking nuts?

Pat, the silver lining thing is yours.
I'm just giving back your words to you.

This "crazy sad shit," as you call it,
made you a happier, calmer person

with a beautiful positive philosophy
of going outdoors,

- working out, and reading books.
- No. No, not the books.

You said Nikki is friends
with Ronnie, Veronica and Tiffany.

So if you become friends with Tiffany,

Nikki will think that you're
a kind, generous, large-hearted person,

who helps people in need,
who is basically thriving.

So, if you help Tiffany,
it will be good for you.

Trick or treat!

Trick or treat!

- Hey!
- Oh!

- How do you know when I run?
- I wanted to clarify something.

I just want us to be friends.

Did you hear what I said?

Why are you giving me
such a hard time?

No, I'm not giving you
a hard time.

I don't know how to act
with you when you do this shit.

You wanna have dinner at this diner?

Pick me up at 7:30.

- Trick or treat!
- Wait up!

Happy Halloween.

Hi.

- Here you go.
- Thank you.

I'm gonna get a bowl
of your Raisin Bran.

Great.

Tea.

Be right up.

You look nice.

Thanks.

Raisin Bran.

Here's some milk for you.

- Thank you.
- Mm-hm.

Do you want to share this?

Why did you order Raisin Bran?

Why did you order tea?

Because you ordered Raisin Bran.

I ordered Raisin Bran because I
didn't want there to be

any mistaking it for a date.

It can still be a date
if you order Raisin Bran.

It's not a date.

So how's your thing going?
Dancing thing?

It's good.
How's your restraining order?

I wouldn't actually call
the restraining order "my thing,"

but... getting back with Nikki is,
and I think I'm doing pretty well.

Except for a minor incident
at the doctor's office.

And the so-called
incident with the weights.

Yeah. That was the thing
with my parents.

I wish I could just explain it
all in a letter to Nikki,

because it was minor
and I could just explain it,

and let her know that
I'm actually not out of control...

...and that I'm actually
doing really well.

I can get a letter to Nikki.

I see her sometimes
with my sister.

It would be so amazing

if you could get a letter
to Nikki from me.

I'd have to hide it from Veronica.
She's not into breaking the law,

which this letter would
definitely be doing.

But you would do it?

I'd have to be careful.

I'm already on thin ice
with my family.

You should hear
how I lost my job.

How did you lose your job?

By...

...having sex
with everybody in the office.

Everybody?

I was very depressed after Tommy died.
It was a lot of people.

- We don't have to talk about it.
- Thanks.

- How many were there?
- Eleven.

- Wow.
- I know.

- I'm not gonna talk about it anymore.
- OK.

Can I ask you
one more question?

Were there any women?

- Yes.
- Really?

Yes.

What was that like?

- Hot.
- Jesus Christ.

Was it like older women,

a sexy teacher,
who wants to seduce you...

Made me sit on her lap
and do things? Yeah.

- What? You sat on her lap?
- Mm-hm.

- She told you what to do?
- Mm-hm.

Oh, my God.

Nikki hated when I talked like this.
It made me feel like such a perv.

- Maybe we should change the subject.
- I don't mind it.

You don't, do you?

No.

But then people were getting in fights

in the parking lot at work,
and in the bathroom,

and the boss called me
in to his office,

and tried to pin it all on me.

So I accused him of harassment,

and then they fired me,

sent me home and put me
on some meds.

I get it.

The song that was playing
when my wife...

...was in the shower
with the history teacher...

- I heard about that.
- ...It was my wedding song and...

...when I hear it,
I go kinda crazy.

Sometimes I hear it
when it's not even playing.

- Wow.
- Yeah.

So they put me on medication,
which I feel ashamed of.

Yeah.

- So I know.
- You do.

I just gotta
get a strategy, you know?

Me too.

We'd better get
back to the letter.

Yeah, let's get back to the letter.

What if you told Nikki when
Veronica was in the bathroom?

Yes. Yes, that could work.

I love that.

Oh, my God, I'm gonna go home
and write the letter right now.

Can I at least finish my tea?

- Wait, what?
- My tea. Can I finish it?

Wait a minute.

Did Veronica tell Nikki
about our dinner?

Why would she do that?

- Was it a test?
- I kinda got that feeling, yeah.

Goddamn it, I knew it.
It was a test.

How did I do?
I think I did pretty well.

Yeah, she said you
were cool, basically.

"Basically"? Was I some
percentage not cool?

No, she said you were cool,
but you know...

No, I don't know.

Sort of how you are.
It's fine, relax.

What do you mean? How am I?
What does that mean?

Sort of like me.

Sort of like you?

I hope to God
she didn't tell Nikki that.

- Why?
- Because...

...it's just not right,
lumping you and I together.

I mean, it's just wrong.
And Nikki wouldn't like that.

Especially after all the shit
you just told me.

You think that I'm crazier than you.

Well, because...

Well, we're different, I mean...

Oh, my God.

You're killing me.

You know what?
Forget I offered to help you.

Forget the entire fucking idea.

'Cause that must have been
fucking crazy

because I am so much
crazier than you.

Keep your voice down.

I am just the crazy slut
with a dead husband!

- Forget it!
- Shut the fuck up.

Fuck you!

- You shut the fuck up!
- Tiffany! Hey, Tiffany!

Go get her, man!

Slow down, Raisin Bran.

Hey! Hey, come on.

Look, I don't
think you're crazy, all right?

Yes, you do.
You told your therapist

that you were in a superior
mental illness category, didn't you?

- Hey, calm down!
- Just leave me alone!

Can I just explain myself, please?

I didn't want Nikki to think that
I was associated with that kind

of sexual behavior because
I've never done anything like that, OK?

You may not have experienced
the shit that I did,

but you loved hearing
about it, didn't you?

You are afraid to be alive.
You are afraid to live.

You're a hypocrite.
You're a conformist. You're a liar.

I opened up to you and you
judged me. You are an asshole.

- You are an asshole!
- Hey, calm down.

Get off of me! Get off!
You're harassing me!

- He's harassing me!
- Hey, hey... Shut up!

- Get off!
- Man, take it easy. Dude, relax.

- He is harassing me!
- Bro, get off me, dude.

- He's harassing me!
- Hey, stop, stop.

- Just back off, all right?
- I'll fuck you up!

- Go home!
- Hey, get off of me!

- Shut up, shut up. Stop it.
- Shut up!

- Hey, hey, get off me!
- What are you doing?

Come on. What are you doing?
What are you doing to these kids?

Are you gonna be a punk on
Halloween with these kids?

You wanna go back to Baltimore?
Is that what you wanna do?

Come on, Solatano.
What did these kids do to you?

You're begging to go back to
Baltimore, you know that, right?

What's the matter with you, huh?
You're sick.

It's the kids. It's the kids.
Honestly, he didn't do anything.

It was all the kids. They started it.
He didn't do anything.

Come on, man.
Come here, come here.

What are you gonna do about that song?

You're gonna go your whole life
scared of that song?

It's a song. Don't make it a monster.
Come on, breathe.

There's no song.
There's no song.

There's no song playing.

That's it.

That's it.
Do it more. There you go.

- Move it out. Let's go.
- I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

- I'm sorry.
- I took it too far.

Hey, is he messing with you?

- No, no. This was just a joke.
- Don't defend the abuser.

- I'm not.
- There's a restraining order...

I know,
I have a stupid sense of humor.

- That's not a good thing to do.
- Well, I'm fucked up.

- What can I tell you? I'm sorry.
- You're Tommy's widow, right?

Yes, I'm Tommy's crazy whore widow.

Minus the whore thing
for the most part.

You're a funny girl.
You wanna get a drink sometime?

- What'd I say?
- She doesn't do that anymore.

I'm sorry about what I said
in the diner.

I know.
I know you didn't mean it.

I didn't mean it at all.

I know, you say shit
you don't mean all the time.

All the time.

I'll still give your letter to Nikki,
don't worry.

Wow. I really appreciate that, Tiffany.

- I know you do.
- You do?

Yeah, sure.

I'll see you tomorrow?
With the letter?

I'll bet I know what happened,
if only one is missing.

Either Dolores or Pat needed
an envelope and one of them took it.

That's the only answer.

Dolores? Somebody was in my study.
Who took one of my envelopes?

Somebody took an envelope.

Maybe we should call the FBI.

No, don't make fun.
It's serious. What FBI?

Come on, take a look.
I'll show you what this is.

I'm gonna just explain to you something.
I mean, you know what I'm doing, honey.

This is everything, like this.
I got this, it all corresponds.

Dad, I borrowed one of your
envelopes. I hope that's not a problem.

No, it's not OK...

"Do not go in my study
or I will eat you!"

It's not funny.
It's not funny.

What's everybody making a joke
out of this for?

- Dolores, you are so beautiful!
- Stop that!

Hey, hey, stop, stop, stop.

Listen. A lot of envelopes go in and
out of my office every day after games

with a lot of cash in them,
so show some respect for what I do.

Yeah, I know. I saw 274.
I just wanted to tell you the number.

- Thank you.
- The envelope was empty.

I'm sorry, you were sleeping
I didn't wanna wake you,

- but I needed an envelope.
- You didn't want to wake me?

He didn't want to wake me.
He doesn't have a problem

complaining about
Ernest fucking Hemingway,

- or asking for his wedding video.
- Be nice. It's game day!

I'm making crabby snacks
and homemades.

Yeah, come on, Dad. Be nice.

Come on, she's making crabby
snacks and homemades.

Come on, Dad!

What are you so up about?

- You're very happy.
- I'm happy.

- No, you're so up, up, up.
- Isn't that a good thing?

No, you're just up, up, up.
I don't know what that is.

Are you taking the proper
dosage of your medication?

Am I taking the right dose?
Of course I am.

OK. Taking a little bit
too many or something?

No, if I was taking that,
I'd be on the floor, Dad.

Just stay with us. Stay for the game.
Spend some family time.

Dad, I can't. Look, I'm ready
to go. What do you mean?

- Spend family time.
- Wait, you mean OCD superstitious time?

Come on, your dad
needs a winner. Help him out.

- Come on.
- I can't.

It's the Seahawks.
Put on the jersey and stay, please.

Please. It's important, please.

- What are you up to, Pat?
- Nothing, come on.

What's in the envelope?

Yeah, what are you doing?
What's in that envelope?

Guys, I'm beating the song!
I'm on the scoreboard!

I'm playing down field!
I feel great!

Tiffany!

Hey, hey, how you doing?
ls Tiffany here?

- What do you want with her?
- Is that another creep?

- What do you want, creep? Just beat it.
- No, no, no. I'm married.

Oh, great, a married creep.

I'm her friend. We go running.
Have you guys not seen it?

- I took her to the diner.
- She's not here.

Hi, guys. How's it going?
ls Tiffany home?

- Go away.
- I know her.

- What are you doing here?
- We've dated. We still date.

- I've called her, texted.
- You know this guy?

I still haven't heard back.

- We used to work together...
- Just get the hell out of here.

I just wanted to give you
my card to give to her.

- Listen to what he's saying.
- What is he saying?

- He's saying you're being rude.
- How am I being rude?

You know. Come on now.

Look, sometimes it's OK
with girls like this,

they wanna have fun,
and sometimes it's not,

because they got a broken wing and
they're hurt and they're an easy target.

In this case, this particular case,

I think that that wing
is being fixed, my friend.

And you gotta make sure
it gets mended.

You're getting in the way
of that right now, OK?

Because she's sensitive
and she's smart, she's artistic.

This is a great girl and
you gotta be respectful of that.

Come on, let me walk you down to
your car. You're a better guy than this.

- Look, I can see it in your eyes.
- She just texted me!

Hey! Hey! Hey, wait a second!
What are you doing?

What happened?
How come... The letter?

- You weren't outside?
- I can't do it.

What do you mean, you can't?
You can't do what?

I can't give the letter to Nikki.

Tiffany! What are you talking about?

What do you mean you can't
give the letter to Nikki?

Because what am I getting in return?
What are you doing for me?

You said if I wrote a letter,
you'd get it to Nikki.

I know, because I do this!
Time after time after time,

I do all this shit
for other people,

and then I wake up and I'm empty.
I have nothing.

What are you talking about?
You seem like you're a tough girl to me.

You just do things on your own.

I always get myself
in these fucking situations.

I give everything to other
people and nobody ever... I never...

I don't get what I want, OK?
I'm not my sister.

All right, well, ask for you.
What can I do for you?

I... I can't do it.

Tiffany, what do you
want me to do?

- Think of something.
- There's this thing.

There's a thing, OK.
What kind of thing?

It's a thing, it's a thing.
It's a dance thing.

- It's a dance thing, all right.
- It's a competition thing

at the Benjamin Franklin Hotel.
Tommy would never do it...

Tommy's dead,
so he's not gonna fucking do it.

- Would you please...?
- I don't have a filter when I talk.

I know you don't have a filter.
Can we have one fucking conversation

without you reminding me
that my goddamn my husband is dead?

- OK, I'm sorry.
- Oh, my God.

But I can only do it
if I have a partner.

And now I'm about to miss it
for another year.

Wait, I'm not gonna
fucking dance with you.

- What are you talking about?
- What? Your schedule is so busy?

Grapes of Wrath and watching
football with your dad?

I'm not gonna do a dance with you.

Well, I'm not giving her
your fucking letter.

Wait a second. But you promised
you would do this.

Think about it.

Well, I already did do
something for you, you know.

- What did you do for me?
- I took care of that jerkoff

- that was in front of your house.
- What? Jordie?

Let me ask you something.
You call him when you're lonely?

That encourages him, Tiffany,
and you shouldn't do it.

Couldn't you say the same
about you and Nikki?

It's not at all like me and Nikki.
What are you talking about?

We're in love and we're married.
It's completely different.

How are you in love?
Tell me about that.

The big Nikki love. Tell me about it,
I wanna understand it.

We have a very
unconventional chemistry,

it makes people feel awkward,
but not me.

All right? She's the most beautiful
woman I've ever been with.

- Wow.
- It's electric between us.

OK? Yeah, we wanna
change each other, but that's normal.

Couples wanna do that.

I want her to stop
dressing like she dresses,

and I want her to stop acting
so superior to me, OK?

And she wanted me to lose weight
and stop my mood swings,

which both I've done.

I mean, people fight.
Couples fight.

We would fight, we wouldn't
talk for a couple weeks.

That's normal.

- She always wanted the best for me.
- Wow.

She wanted me to be
passionate and compassionate.

And that's a good thing.
You know?

Look, I'm my best self today,
and I think she's her best self today

and our love's gonna
be fucking amazing.

It's gonna be amazing,
and you're gonna be amazing,

and she's gonna be amazing,
and you're not gonna be that guy

that's gonna take advantage
of a situation

without offering
to do something back.

So think about the dance thing.

Danny,
you're out of the hospital?

- And you're here on game day?
- I'm out.

It's official, man.

They didn't convert me to my Mental
Hygiene Law admission status

within two-thirds of the maximum length
of my felony sentence, so I'm out.

They had to let me go.

I never understand what he's saying.

OK, jailhouse lawyer,
come on, let's come back

and sit down
the way you were before.

What a treat!
Dad's got you sitting here?

- Oh, yeah.
- He calls me "jailhouse lawyer."

Hold the remote the way
you were holding it before.

And now you're
holding the remote?

And it's working.
Your dad's a genius.

- Now sit up, but like...
- And Danny's a good luck charm?

Danny's from you. This is
your house, so it comes down to you.

- You're the one.
- Yeah, you're the one, Pat.

Superstition, Danny. I don't know.

Come sit down.

Don't disappear doing God knows what
with that Tiffany Maxwell.

Dad, Dad, Dad. She's my friend.
Why would you say that?

Oh, she's a mess. You gotta be careful.
She goes to a lot of therapy.

I go to a lot of therapy, Ronnie.
What are you trying to say?

- I'm just saying...
- Am I messed up?

Why don't you stop judging people?
You judge everybody.

You're the one who has
a messed up marriage.

- I'm just looking out for you.
- What's wrong with your marriage?

She's unstable. Nothing.

You should have seen
when I was at his house.

- It's like a circus over there.
- Shh...

What are you talking about?
I'm not gonna hide this.

- You need to deal with it.
- Stop breaking my balls.

- I got you... I brought the iPod.
- Oh!

- Whoa! Is this for me?
- Yeah. Well, that's my old iPod, but...

Buddy, thank you.
That's so nice of you. Wow.

- Thirty-two gigabytes.
- How many songs is that?

Seven thousand.

Oh, yeah, you got The Stranglers.
You love The Stranglers.

- Oh, the Sex Pistols. The Clash.
- Got some Clash.

Oh, West Side Story.

Yeah, West Side Story.
It makes me peaceful.

- # I just met a girl named Maria ##
- Right, right, right.

And then when I'm angry,
which is a lot these days,

I go to the garage...

Metallica... Megadeth.

- I start fucking smashing shit.
- You gotta get your marriage together.

I start breaking shit
and I hurt my hand.

- And I...
- Ronnie, that's fucked up.

Yeah, but it makes me feel better.
It's like my therapy, you know? But...

When I'm with Nikki,
I'm never gonna do stuff like that.

Whoa, Nikki?
What's all this about Nikki?

A restraining order
is nothing to fool with, bro.

Holy shit, look at you!
You are ripped!

You look absolutely amazing.
You feel good?

- How you doing, Jake?
- Good.

You look like Schwarzenegger,
man, in his prime.

Didn't I say you wouldn't
recognize him?

So, listen, I'm sorry that I didn't
come see you down at the hospital.

You know how those places creep me out,
and the firm's been expanding.

I've been helping
Pop with the restaurant 'cause

he needs to have a legitimate business.
He needs a tax return.

With all the money he's
making with his bookmaking,

they're gonna come after him.

And then it looks like
I'm gonna make partner at the firm.

What? I don't even know
what to say to you anymore.

You lost your wife.
I'm getting engaged,

and I wanna be able to tell
you about those kinds of things.

You lost your house,
I'm getting a new house.

You lost your job, things are
going great for me at the firm.

Maybe stop talking about all the stuff
that's good for you and bad for him.

Just, you know, leave it alone.
Leave it alone. We're watching the game.

You know what, I'm just gonna stop
talking. I'm gonna shut my mouth.

As my friend Danny would say...

...I got nothing
but love for you, brother.

- That's right. That's right.
- That's nice.

Well, thank God, finally.

- DeSean Jackson.
- Yeah. Did it fit?

Yeah, I wore it to Ronnie's for dinner.

Beautiful jersey.
I love that jersey.

- Veronica didn't like it.
- Veronica hates the jersey.

Whatever you do, watch out
for that restraining order, OK?

- Don't let Tiffany get you in trouble.
- You're up to something, I know.

People like Tiffany or Danny or me,

maybe we know something
that you guys don't know, OK?

Did you ever think about that?

Maybe we understand something
because we're more...

We have a sixth sense.
I mean, everybody's got it.

Everybody's just
not in touch with it.

- Oh, no.
- How you doing, Pat?

Oh, Jesus.

I guess his sixth sense
forgot to tell him

the cops were coming.

I'm taking him
back to the hospital.

What? No, he passed
his thing, right?

First of all, check with
the latest legal development.

Well, we got a call that they
did convert you to a Mental Hygiene Law

admission status by the deadline
of your sentence, so...

Wait a minute. Are you an Eagles fan
or are you not an Eagles fan?

- I'm an Eagles fan.
- Well then, what's the problem?

He's not going anywhere. Just let him
finish the game, that's all.

The handkerchief is working.
We're killing the Seahawks, 27-10.

What's the matter with you?
Let him stay, please.

I don't know what the hell
you're talking about, the handkerchief.

And I'm glad that the Seahawks
are losing and we're winning,

but I gotta take Danny McDaniels
back to Baltimore, all right?

He can contest his case
from Baltimore.

Not correct about the Mental
Hygiene Law. Not correct.

You guys ought to be
ashamed of yourselves.

I used the insurance money
to build this. I designed it.

- Wow.
- All the floors are hard oak.

It has good bounce for dancers.

I'm not that great of a dancer,
but who cares?

It's therapy and it's fun.

And the walls are good,
'cause I can play music really loud

without anybody hearing.

- Where do you sleep?
- Upstairs.

It's a garage,
I just renovated it.

You know, I was thinking about
putting a ballet barre here.

When are you gonna give it to her?

What?

The letter to Nikki.

- Probably tonight.
- Really?

Ronnie and Veronica and I,
we're gonna see her tonight.

Oh, I actually changed
the first paragraph.

I did this thing about Shakespeare
and how it's very romantic,

and that maybe in the future
if she wanted to go dancing,

I can be able to do that
because of all the training that...

- No, that's good, that's really good.
- I assume you're a good teacher.

Maybe you can teach us both,
you know what I mean?

And I also mentioned how generous
it is of what I'm doing for you.

- Yeah. It's really generous.
- You know, sort of being of service.

- Yeah. Uh-huh.
- To your need.

All right, let's start simple.
Start at that corner, walk towards me.

Walk across the room.

Can we do something else
besides the dance deal?

Are you fucking kidding me?

I'm good with a hammer.
You want me to fix something?

- A deal is a deal.
- I know. OK.

I was just suggesting that
maybe there's a better scenario.

Why don't you...

...walk towards me
like I'm Nikki.

And the only way to convey how much
you've missed me is by your walk.

By your slow walk.
You can't talk.

Only walk. Do it.

- No. That's stupid.
- No walk, no letter.

Walk to me like I'm Nikki, come on.
Do it. I'm Nikki. Come on.

You're not Nikki.

Don't look up until
you're halfway here.

That's right. Not yet.

Yes.

Do you feel that? That's emotion.

I don't feel anything.

Has anybody ever told you
how Tommy died?

No.

We were married for three years
and five days, and I loved him.

But for the last couple months,
I just wasn't into sex at all.

It just felt like...
we were so different,

and I was depressed.
Some of that is just me.

Some of it was
he wanted me to have kids

and I have a hard enough time
taking care of myself.

I don't think that makes me a criminal.

Anyway... one night after dinner,

he drove to Victoria's Secret
at King of Prussia Mall...

...and got some lingerie
to get something going.

And on the way back, he stopped
on 76 to help a guy with a flat tire

and he got hit by a car and killed.

And the Victoria's Secret box
was still in the front seat.

That's a feeling.

OK, this is the waltz.
I'm gonna teach you the waltz step.

Whoa! Slow down.

- What?
- Your father wanted you to have this.

Probably wants me to have
all his Eagles information.

It's his living.

Um...
Tell Dad thanks.

Your father expects
to spend time with you, Pat.

Football stays out
of this place,

so does Lord of the Flies.

No, no, no, what are you doing?
I'm behind on my syllabus.

- I don't give a fuck.
- What the hell are you doing?

Hey! Hey!
Did you just throw that outside?

What? You're not gonna read
that shit on my time.

I can tell you all about
the Lord of the Flies.

It's a bunch of boys
on an island,

and they have a conch,
they have a shell,

and whoever has the conch
has the power and they can talk.

And if you don't have the conch,
then you don't have the power.

And then there's a little chubby
boy and they call him Piggy,

and they're really mean,
and then there's a murder.

I mean, humanity is just nasty
and there's no silver lining.

Wow. That was a great synopsis.
I still need to read it, though.

Who's that?

Hello? What the...?

What are you doing here, man?

If one of your two supervising
physicians loses their license,

then your whole adjudication
is thrown out.

- How'd you know we were here?
- I went by your parents' house

looking for you
and they told me you was over here.

Danny, this is Tiffany.
Tiffany, this is Danny.

Pat told me about you.

- So is the girl that you wrote about?
- Yeah.

What? He wrote about me?
I'm "the girl?"

- He wrote about you, all right.
- What'd he say?

He said you guys was helping
each other out and you were nice

and you had a mouth on you, but...

- Whoa. Whoa. OK, OK.
- ...you're a little mouthy, but...

No, please, tell me more
about what he said in the letter.

Anything you wanna know,
I'll just tell you. it was nothing.

It was just very general.

- Cool.
- She's fine.

She is my friend with an "F."

A capital "F."

- She's fine.
- For "friend."

Hey, can I see what
you guys are doing?

- Yeah.
- OK.

One, two...

- I like it. It's good, yeah.
- Do you?

And then this goes
into something else.

- That's it?
- Why? What is it, what is it?

- Can I say something? Do you mind?
- No.

- You sure?
- Just say it.

- No, please.
- I think, Pat,

you should be facing Tiffany.

Let me show you, Pat,
let me show you what I mean.

You gotta come with
a little bit more soul, man.

You should move more hips.

Just sort of come in,
Pat, come in like this.

- OK.
- You know, give a little...

You know? Yeah.
Can you move a little more hip?

Yeah, that's it.
Move 'em a bit more.

You could turn around, too.
There's nothing wrong with that.

Yeah. You're pretty good.
Yeah. That's it.

- Yeah.
- OK, we got it, we got it.

- OK. Let's see what you got.
- Yeah, we got it.

Come on, Pat, come on.

A little bit more soul, Pat.

- Black it up, Pat.
- What does that mean?

- You know damn well what it means.
- "Black it up?"

Oh, wait a minute, wait a minute,
wait a minute. Oh, man! I got an idea.

Jump up, around. Circle around,

around and around. Don't look back!

Come get some, Pat.
Come get some.

- Is that it?
- That's it.

Back, back.
Shuffle back, shuffle back.

Shuffle back, shuffle back.
Girl, you gotta move your junk.

Pop! Pop your butt! Pop it!

I gotta get out of here.
I gotta go see this girl, Tanya.

- She lives on this side of town.
- Yeah, go see Tanya.

OK, man, hey.
I'm gonna be there, man.

- I want you guys to win!
- OK.

- Excelsior, Pat!
- Excelsior!

That's my man. Let's go.

Patty...

Patty.

Hey, Patty...

Patty. Where have you been?

Huh?

We got a serious situation
on our hands, you know that.

We gotta beat the Giants

if we wanna have any chance
of getting into the division,

any chance of playing
in the playoffs.

Do you realize that?

I didn't realize that.

Yeah, that's the bind we're in.

I mean, I think it would be wise
if we spent father-son time

reading about the Eagles,
talking about them.

Just to strengthen
the good luck thing that you're in.

- OK.
- Yeah?

- All right.
- Hm?

I just wanted to...

Maybe I didn't...

...spend enough time
with you growing up.

I spent too much time
with your brother.

Ah, it might have made you feel worse
about your behavior, but I...

...I didn't know anything,
I didn't know how to handle it.

I mean, that's what
all this Eagles stuff is about.

It's about us...
spending time now.

I wanna do everything I can
to help you get back on your feet.

That's the whole point.

Yeah.

I wish you'd watch
these games with me.

'Cause then we could talk,
we could get into things.

So will you just come downstairs
and talk to me and Randy now? Huh?

Randy, tell him what I'm doing.

He's betting everything
on the Giant game. Everything.

All the money that he needs
for the restaurant,

he's betting on the Giant game.

- Tell him why.
- Because he believes in you.

- Is that true?
- I believe in you, Patty.

I believe in you.
I want you to know that.

So I'm gonna bet
heavy on this game.

- You understand? Heavy.
- Yeah.

I want you to go to the game
with your brother.

You want me to go
to the game with Jake?

- Of course I do.
- Does he want me to go?

- Of course he wants you to go.
- He told you that?

- He told me, yes.
- Even with all his friends?

- With all his friends. He trusts you.
- He's not embarrassed?

No. I'd love to go to the game, too,

but as you know,
I'm banned from the stadium.

'Cause I'd love to see us
beat the Giants

and take a lot of money
from this asshole.

Listen, personally,
I think it's a stupid bet.

Randy...

As a matter of fact,
I think it's ridiculous

to bet all that dough
for the restaurant on a game.

Randy...

I just hope you
heard what I said.

It's like a family business,
it's our family endeavor.

We all stick together on this.
That's how it works.

That's a positive, positive vibe.

I made a commitment to Tiffany
about a project,

and we have a very important part of it
that we have to go over on Sunday, so...

Um...

And it's good for me, Dad.

It's making me disciplined
and focused and it's...

...I never would've thought this,
but it's a good thing.

What is this thing you're doing?

Yeah, what is it?
What is this project, hon?

It's a dance thing, OK?
There's nothing more to it, Dad.

I swear.

Listen, I need
to ask you something.

Tomorrow can I spend
half the day with you

and half the day
at the Eagles game?

I'm gonna pretend that you
didn't just ask me that.

Why?

These are the two days
that you have promised me,

and that we have prepared
to nail the big move.

It's not ready yet.
We don't have a move yet.

I know, but my dad
opened up to me,

and it was really beautiful
and I wanna be of service to him, OK?

And he's worried that the juju
from the Eagles is being fucked up,

and he's concerned that it's because
I'm spending time with you.

Oh, I messed up the Eagles' juju?

No, you're not messing up the juju,
but the juju is messed up

because I'm not with him
during the games.

- Guess what?
- What?

Nikki replied to your letter.

But you can't read it
until after you nail the big move.

Go.

Tiff, I'm sorry. I can't do anything
else till I can read Nikki's letter, OK?

It's in the back of my head.
We don't almost have it, all right?

- I just hope you can handle it.
- Thank you.

What was her energy
when she gave it to you?

She was intrigued, excited,
and a little scared.

She was scared? About what?
Did she tell you?

Try to stay positive.

I'm just gonna read it out loud, OK?
Because if she says anything that's...

- Is that too much to ask?
- No.

I thought you were gonna
read it out loud.

OK. I'm sorry.

"Dear Pat:

It was very emotional
for me to get your letter,

as I'm sure you can imagine.
But I'm glad you took the risk

of discreetly getting it to me
through Tiffany.

This gives us a chance to communicate

while I keep the restraining order
until I feel safe.

I must admit you sound terrific
and I'm happy that you are feeling

so positive and becoming
a more loving and caring man,

which I always knew you were."

"I was moved to read about 'Excelsior'
and your belief in happy endings.

I'm also moved by your act of love
to read the books I have taught

at the high school. I'm sorry you find
them so negative, but I disagree.

I think they're great works of art
that reflect how hard life can be,

and they can also help kids prepare
themselves for the hardness of life.

In spite of all these positive
developments, Pat,

I have to say if it's me reading the
signs, I need to see something

to prove you are ready
to resume our marriage.

Otherwise I find myself
thinking that we...

...might both be better off
moving on with our lives separately.

Please don't react quickly to this,
but take time to think about it.

I'm glad you're doing so well.
Love, Nikki."

I think I'm done today, OK?

She said to show her something, Pat.
This dance could be that something.

You would have never done something
like this in a million years.

It shows all kinds of skills
on so many different levels:

focus, collaboration, discipline.

It's romantic, like I said it would be.

It's for her.

Thanks for the letter.
I'll see you tomorrow, OK?

- Can I use your phone?
- Is it an emergency?

- Yeah, kind of.
- What kind of emergency?

Well, I'm just doing this project
with Tiffany and I wanted to tell her

I'm not gonna be on time.

Just don't make her an emergency.
That crazy girl, you know?

She's... I'll just borrow Jake's phone.

It's too bad you can't
come to the stadium,

but I know you were kicked out,
you know, beating everybody up.

Guess we're not that different,
huh, Dad?

- That a bad thing?
- No, I think it's a good thing.

Don't drink too much.
Don't hit anybody.

- You'll be fine.
- Yeah, I'm solid.

- Here's my little brother, Pat.
- Hey, how you doing? Pat.

So, Pat, what's this I hear
about you just getting out?

- Yeah, from the loony bin!
- Guys, what the fuck?!

I talked to you about that already.

- I told you...
- It's all right.

- It's all right.
- He's a good dude! He's a good dude.

Oh, shit! The Asian invasion!
Every week!

No!

Ah, Jake, you better
get your brother.

- Cuckoo bird's taking off.
- Cuckoo bird!

Dr. Patel!

- Pat!
- Hey!

- What are you doing here?
- We must beat the Giants, my brother.

I'm not supposed to be seeing
you, right? Outside the office?

- Isn't that illegal?
- Pat, today I'm your brother in green,

not your therapist.
I'm so happy to see you.

- Wonderful that you are here!
- Hey, Jake! This is Cliff.

- This is my doctor, Cliff.
- Look, two things.

We gotta watch that bubble screen
for fucking Manning in the backfield,

and we gotta make sure we knock
the receivers on their ass

- off the line of scrimmage.
- You can say that again.

Those cocksuckers!

OK, you know what?
I don't have her phone number.

If you want, if you really want,
you can call Veronica...

- I'll call Veronica.
- ...'cause she does,

- but I don't want to talk to Veronica.
- Why don't you wanna...?

Because she brings me down!
She just brings me down.

You're not gonna
throw the marriage away!

There's some kind of love there.
I know, I used to see it.

You guys have a beautiful thing that
got broken somewhere along the line,

and you gotta fix it
like a chiropractor.

You gotta give it
a chiropractic adjustment.

- Enough with awkwardness!
- You're right.

I don't wanna walk in your house and
not be able to say what I wanna say.

You're right, you're right, man.

Whoo! Eagles, baby!
Yeah! Let's go! Whoo!

What the fuck? What's that smell?

Nasty Indian curry!
This is America, baby!

Go back to your country!

What, what's wrong?

Hey!

- Whoa, what's going on?
- Stay back, Pat. Stay back!

Leave the fucking Indians
alone, tough guy!

- You're a traitor to your people!
- Stay here, stay here.

I'm not gonna do anything.

They're fuckin' great!
They're cool!

I'm not gonna fight.
I'm not gonna fight.

- Let's just calm down!
- We're the real Eagles fans!

- Hey, not my brother! Hey, hey, hey!
- Come on, get him, get him!

Get off my fuckin' brother!

Break it
up or you'll be arrested!

Hey, hey, hey!

What'd you do?
What happened?

- Dad. Dad...
- What the fuck happened?

The birds lose, I lose a fucking
fortune, a fortune to Randy!

What the fuck did you do?!

You fucking lost it.
I thought you said you had it together!

- You were solid!
- I am solid.

I was solid at the game, Dad.
I'm solid, I'm solid now.

You fell apart! What are you
fucking talking about?!

Your son was trying to...

It's all fucking ruined now.
It's all ruined.

It's all fucking ruined now!
It's all fucking ruined!

It's all ruined,
you little fucking shit!

I didn't do a fucking thing!

- Come on, Dad!
- You loser! You loser!

I'm not a loser.

You fucking loser! Ruined it!
Spiked the ball at the one-yard line!

He was defending his brother!

Spike the fucking ball
at the one-yard line!

You fuckin' idiot!

- Who is this?
- We need to talk right now!

When you make a serious
commitment to somebody,

it is not cool to not show up!

Wait a second, I tried to call...

- Oh, my God. What's happening?
- Who is this?

- Who is this?
- I tried to call you, Tiffany.

- Oh, really?
- Yes.

I told you I was gonna split my
time with my dad and you,

and my dad was pulling me
in one direction.

- Dr. Patel, Ronnie...
- Well, that sounds great, Pat.

That's great for all of them,

but all of them didn't make a commitment
to me in return for my help.

I'm Tiffany, by the way.

What is this craziness
with Tiffany Maxwell?

There's no craziness.
I told you who she was.

I was doing this thing with her.
We had a conversation!

When you started spending
time with her, it all fell apart.

This is the fucking
reason right here.

You think I fucked up
all the Eagles juju, don't you?

Ever since he was with you,
ever since...

You think that
I'm why today has happened?

That's right,
you are why today has happened.

I'm the reason why today happened?

- I think so.
- Let's talk about that.

Be my guest.

The first night that
Pat and I met at my sister's,

the Eagles beat
the 49ers handily, 40-26.

The second time we got together,
we went for a run

and the Phillies beat
the Dodgers 7-5 in the NLCS.

- She's right, Dad.
- The next time we went for a run,

- the Eagles beat the Falcons, 27-14.
- Wow.

The third time we got together
we had Raisin Bran in the diner,

and the Phillies
dominated Tampa Bay

in the fourth game
of the World Series, 10-2.

- Oh, wow.
- Fascinating.

Let me think about that.
Wait a minute.

Well, why don't you think about when
the Eagles beat the Seahawks, 14-7.

- He was with you?
- He was with me. We went for a run.

- That's crazy.
- There have been no games

since Pat and I have been
rehearsing every day,

and if Pat had been with me
like he was supposed to,

he wouldn't have gotten
in a fight, he wouldn't be in trouble,

maybe the Eagles
beat the New York Giants.

She's making a lot of sense, Pop.
That's all right on all counts.

Does anybody here happen
to know what the official

motto of the state of New York
is on the official seal

of the State of New York?
Huh? Anybody? Do you? Do you know?

- No.
- "Excelsior."

- Oh!
- Look it up.

- Really?
- Yeah, "Excelsior."

- Oh, Pat.
- Not that I give a fuck about football

or about your superstitions,
but if it's me reading the signs,

I don't send the Eagles guy
whose personal motto is "Excelsior"

to a fucking Giants game,
especially when he's

- already in a legal situation.
- Unbelievable.

- She's unbelievable.
- Wow.

How did you know
all that stuff?

I did my research.

- Well, I gotta say, I'm impressed.
- Thank you.

Yeah. I gotta rethink this whole thing.

I didn't trust her before,
but I gotta say, now I do.

Oh, now you like her, Dad?

I have to say I do. Yup.

Patrizio...
I feel terrible, you know?

You made the bet,
I won a lot of money,

and now, look,
your whole family is in turmoil.

Oh, fuck off, Randy. You love it.

You live for this shit. You've been
betting against my father for years.

You're twisting the knife
right now. You get off on it!

- That's not true! Don't say that!
- You get off on it!

- Fine, then prove it. Prove it.
- Yeah, prove it!

How do you want me to prove it?

- How do we prove it?
- How do I prove it?

By giving them the chance to win back
everything, double or nothing.

No, no, no.

Double or nothing
on the Bengals, next week?

Is that what you're saying?

Mm-mm.

- Against the Cowboys.
- Oh, come on, are you kidding?

That's his team!

That's your team,
isn't it, Randy?

I know who his team is.

When is the game?

December 28th,
last game of the season.

Same day as the Benjamin Franklin Pairs
Open Freestyle Dance Competition.

- Oh, God.
- Randy...

I thought they were America's Team.
Don't you believe in America's Team?

Yeah, Randy, don't you
believe in America's Team?

Yeah, I believe in America's
Team, but if I win that bet,

I win your book, you're out of action,
you get no restaurant, no nothing.

I like it.

- No. No, Patrizio...
- I believe in the Eagles,

I believe in my son,
I'll take the action. I'll take it.

- Dad.
- Patrizio, don't! It's toxic!

I have faith. I have faith.
Excelsior belongs in this house...

- Dad.
- That's right.

Not in the state
of New York, in this house.

Dad, I didn't know that "Excelsior"
was the state motto of New York.

- I didn't know, either, but now I know.
- But listen, this is toxic.

Dad, this is toxic,
you shouldn't be doing this...

Be quiet, shut up.
You already did enough.

Randy, what do you say?
My birds, Benjamin Franklin's team,

favored by one and a half points.
I'll give you three more.

Patrizio, stop it!
And, Randy, don't you take the bet!

- In fact, I'll give you ten points.
- No, Dad! Dad!

- Dad!
- This is insanity!

You have to take that bet
on the Cowboys.

Jesus!

How could you
not take that bet?

Even with the
ten points I give you

that's an insane spread
to your advantage.

Cowboys are cowards.

And I'll bet you're such a coward,
you won't take the ten.

Plus, are you listening, plus whatever
their score is at the dance thing.

- What's that? Tiffany, what's that?
- What? No, no, no.

You're crazy to give away
that many points.

That's ridiculous! I won't take that!
However, wait a second.

- I do like the idea of a parlay.
- What? No parlay! No!

- No, don't do it. Don't do it.
- Oh, mother of God.

Pat, how do they run
this dance competition?

I mean, how do they score it
and everything?

I don't know, I don't know how
they fucking score...

We're participating.
We're not a part of it.

There's the people... this is a high-end
dance contest. I don't know.

Do not put it as
part of the parlay, Randy.

They go by
the Philadelphia rules.

Each dancer is scored
on a scale of one to ten,

ten being the highest. You have to
average the four judges' scores.

OK, scores one to ten, right?
And you guys are how good?

- We suck.
- We don't suck.

Pat's a beginner, I'm OK, we're
happy just to be going there.

And how are the people
you're competing against?

They're good.
Some of them are professionals.

Better than you?

- A lot better.
- A lot better.

So, if I was to say
you only have to score five,

I would be really
very generous, right?

No, no, that would be amazing
if we got five.

Oh, come on, we can get a five
out of ten! Gimme a break!

- Gimme me a break!
- Give 'em a five. Give 'em a five.

- We can do a five.
- What are you talking about?

- That's the parlay!
- Will somebody please

explain me the parlay? Please?

You gotta win two bets
or you lose the whole thing.

For Pat Sr. to win, the birds
gotta beat the Cowboys, plus,

Pat and Tiffany gotta get
at least a five at the dance.

That's very, very manic indeed.

That's the parlay.

- Shake on it.
- No!

- It's a bet!
- No!

You know what?
I'm not gonna be a part of this.

Randy, you're a sickness.

You're a fucking sickness,
Randy. I'm out.

- Pat, you can't quit.
- I'm not doing the dance. I'm out.

- Pat, calm down. Think about...
- See you later.

Pat, no.

- What are you doing?
- Pat.

- I'm out.
- What?

Here we are again
at the one-yard line.

- I'm not happy. I am not happy.
- DeSean, snatching defeat

from the jaws of victory.

- There you go.
- What does that even mean, Dad?

I'm not gonna make that
connection that you're making

with DeSean Jackson.
It doesn't matter anymore, OK?

Just because I have
the fucking jersey on.

I'm not gonna do it. I'm sorry.

You are not a stand-up
guy right now.

- If it's me reading the signs...
- You reading the signs?

You're reading the signs? OK.

- Pat!
- You are not a stand-up guy!

I told you not to push it.

Yeah, but he's
gotta do this thing.

He can't be a quitter.
He cannot be a quitter.

You took that stupid parlay thing,
and now he won't do the dance,

and it was very constructive
for him and you ruined it.

There's only one way
to get him to show.

- What's that?
- What's that?

We have to tell him
Nikki's gonna be there.

Signs. Reading signs...

She won't come. She can't come.

We have to tell him
that she's coming.

We have to tell him
that she's going.

- But that's a lie!
- It's a white lie.

It's a white lie,
what's that matter?

That's no big deal.
So it's a little lie.

No other way.

You know, we gotta leave
a trail of bread crumbs

so that he can live
his life without ruining it.

No. I don't approve.
You can't do it.

Well, you know, I didn't approve
when you called her,

and you told her where he was running,
so she could ambush him.

I didn't approve of that, but you
did it anyway, so I'm doing this anyway.

That's it.

We're gonna tell him
Nikki will be there.

You gotta be part of it.

We have to do it.

Aren't you
nervous to be lying?

Ah...

A little bit.
But it's for the best.

"...but if it was me
reading the signs..."

I...

That's it.

OK.

Hey.

Hey, what's up?

- Sorry I'm late.
- It's fine.

Cheers.

Cheers.

This isn't working!

Come on, it's gonna be great.

Nikki's gonna be there.
You know?

Everything's gonna come together.
It's what's meant to be.

You OK?

- Well, don't get wobbly on me.
- I'm not.

OK, we have a dance to do.
We have a parlay.

- You gotta stay focused.
- I'm focused.

Good, let's go.

- Look at the dancers. You see them?
- Shit.

Randy, Jake.
What do we got?

Dallas just tied it
with a field goal, 3-3.

- I'm worried about the bet.
- Don't worry about the bet.

- I'm worried about the bet.
- Holy shit.

- Is this Dancing with the Stars?
- Well, you knew that.

Maybe you should've scouted them.

Look at those fucking dancers!

You can give me
the money now, you know?

Patty, Patty, all we have to do
is we have to make a five.

That's all. You stay here
and watch the game with me.

The birds are better when Pat
is with me. We settled that.

- Stay for the next quarter.
- Relax, we're gonna be fine, OK?

I'll see you in a little bit.
I'll see you up there, OK?

- Hey, Pat, Tiffany!
- Hey!

What a glorious,
beautiful occasion, man.

Yeah, yeah. All right, buddy,
I'll see you. Take care.

All right. Wish me luck.

Excelsior!

What's this?

- What? I thought you were doing it.
- I thought you were doing it.

We're doing a dance thing
anyway, for God's sake.

You OK?

I want you to remember everything.
I want you to remember

all of the good stuff
that we have here.

- Of course I do.
- Just check in.

I gotta go find Veronica.

- Hi, good evening.
- Good evening.

- Check in.
- Please.

How many dancers are there?

What? Nikki?

Nikki. Oh, Jesus.

What the fuck?

- Sweetie, sweetie. Honey, calm down.
- You're killing me.

- You're killing me!
- Tiffany, please.

She'll see how well he's doing,
maybe she'll lift the restraining order.

- Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
- Pat told me.

He told me you should never
throw a marriage out the window.

He did not say that.

- Yes.
- He didn't say that.

He said it several times, Tiffany,

and it's his chance.
You gotta give him a chance.

Bartender! Bartender,
can I get a vodka, please?

- So, you want another one?
- Sure.

So what do you do?

I'm a lawyer. Litigator, actually.

Oh.

The arguing guy.

7.6, 7.3,

7.4 and 6.9,

for an average score of 7.3.

- Three, two, one!
- Holy shit!

Philadelphia beats Dallas!
They are on their way to the playoffs!

- Where's Tiffany?
- I don't know, Mom. Have you seen her?

- You gotta find her.
- I know, Mom, I know.

- Hey! Hey, what are you doing?
- She's fine, buddy, she's with me.

- She's fine?
- Yeah.

Why don't you shut up, OK?

- How many drinks have you had?
- I've had two vodkas.

I don't know what choices you've made,
but you gotta deal with it right now.

OK? We're in this.

- We're in what?
- Next...

- ...Pat Solatano and Tiffany Maxwell.
- You know, I used to think

that you were the best thing
that ever happened to me,

but now I think that you
might maybe be the worst thing,

and I'm sorry
that I ever met you.

Good for you.
Come on, let's dance.

And the scores are:

6.7, 8.1...

...7.5 and 6.5,

for an average score of 7.2.

They were great!

And they only got a 7.2!
This is a tough room.

Got it.

Up next, ladies and gentlemen,

please welcome Pat Solatano,
Jr. and Tiffany Maxwell.

Come on, Pat!

Damn.

- Let's go, Patty!
- Come on, Pat!

Yeah, Pat! Yeah!

We love you, Pat!

All right, let's see
the scores for Solatano and Maxwell.

We have a 4.9...

...4.8...

...a 4.9...

That's really too bad, guys.
That's a lot of fours.

...and a 5.4...
for an average score of...

- ...5.0.
- Sorry.

Sorry about that, guys.

What?! Come on!

Dad, Dad,
did the Eagles win?

- The Eagles won, 44-6! They won, 44-6!
- Come on!

We'll take
a ten-minute break.

Why are they so
excited about a five?

Great, great job!

Thank you! You're amazing!

- Thank you for coming.
- Of course.

- How are you? You OK?
- I'm good. How are you?

I'm really good.
Yeah, thanks.

- You looked really happy out there.
- Did I?

Yeah, yeah.
Who'd have thought, dancing?

- You look incredible.
- Thank you, yeah.

You lost a lot of weight.

I've been reading your books, and...

...I have a positive attitude.
I'm on medication, I'm in therapy.

- Where's Tiffany?
- She left.

- What do you mean, she left?
- She left.

- What do you expect?
- Where is she?

Let me tell ya, I know you don't
wanna listen to your father,

I didn't listen to mine.
And I'm telling you,

you gotta pay attention to the signs.

When life reaches out
with a moment like this,

it's a sin if you don't reach back.

I'm telling you,
it's a sin if you don't reach back

and it'll haunt you the rest
of your days like a curse.

You're facing a big challenge
in your life right now,

this very moment, right here.

That girl loves you,
she really loves you.

And I don't know if Nikki ever did,

but she sure as hell
doesn't love you right now.

I'm telling you, don't fuck this up.

I love you, Dad.

Hey!

- Would you just leave me alone? Please!
- Wait a second!

I have one more letter
for you to read, OK?

What the fuck is the matter with you?
Give it to her yourself!

Let me say something.
You don't ever have to see me again

if you just read it, all right?

- This is so fucked up.
- Yeah, just read it.

"Dear Tiffany...

I know you wrote the letter.

The only way you
could meet my..."

"...crazy was by doing
something crazy yourself.

Thank you. I love you.

I knew it the minute I met you.

I'm sorry it took so long
for me to catch up.

I just got stuck. Pat."

I wrote that a week ago.

- You wrote that a week ago?
- Yes, I did.

You let me lie to you
for a week?

I was trying to be romantic.

- You love me?
- Yeah, I do.

OK.

The world will break your heart
ten ways to Sunday, that's guaranteed.

And I can't begin to explain that.

Or the craziness inside myself
and everybody else, but guess what?

Sunday is my favorite day again.

I think of everything
everyone did for me,

and I feel like a very lucky guy.

We have to beat
the Vikings by three.

I'm giving you a six,
which is very generous

after the beating you just took.

So what are we doing,
what are we talking about here?

I'd like to do another parlay if we
make it to the next round, that's all.

But we are gonna make it
to the next round.

- Did you... I laid that down.
- No, I think I did.

- No, that was me.
- No, that was me. I played Jack.

- No, I played the Jack.
- Did you play it?

So you put the bread crumbs,
the garlic

in the steak, and you roll it
up with the toothpicks?

Yeah. For, oh...
maybe three hours, plus.

Everything's good,
everything's good, yeah.

I got you, you're all down.
No, Randy, he's complaining.

You know, he lost a lot of money.
He's moaning and groaning.

The restaurant's happening
because of Randy, so...

...everything's good.