All language subtitles for Remo Williams The Adventure Begins 1985 REMASTERED

He 's ahead of the field, blazin9
in. Lakers by seven!

This is Marv Albert
from The Forum in LA.

And the Knicks in bi9 troublc
as they movc to the lront court.

Goin9 lrom ri9ht to left
Cummin9s takes the one-bounce.

A flip lor Kin9. lt's batted away!
Ma9ic Johnson on the steal!

He's down the left side and 9ocs bascline!
He 's trapped! Throws back out.

To Worthy. A head-fake,
now the jumper. lt is 9ood!

Only 10 scconds lcft. The
Lakcrs are buryin9 the Knicks!

The Knicks have comc back from
the dead beforc, but not toni9ht!

2L-1 6, Tack 2.

Come in, 2L-16.

Respond, 2L-16.

Ser9eant Leary says to remind you, you
owc him 50 bucks on toni9ht's 9ame.

And that he'd be happy to take
your money on the Knicks any time.

Come on !

Give it to him !

Where is it?

Give me what's mine,
you understand?

It's mine and I want it now!

Look at this! Look what I found ,
huh? This is mine, baby.

Freeze!

AII right, hands out of your
pockets, away from your body.

Suck wall!

Get your feet back.
Back! And spread them!

All right, wider! l said wider!

You ought to be ashamed of yourself,
picking on a guy half your size.

- Nice shot, kid!
- Good shot, Joey.

Hit him !

Don't move.

Don't even breathe.

We have come to mourn and honor
not only the passing of a friend ,

but of a fine police officer.

An officer who was
an example to us all.

Samuel Edward Makin
died as he Iived,

defending the American way.

That is why I feel
more pride than sorrow.

For Samuel Makin
made the ultimate sacrifice.

He did so willingly,

and no man can hope to do more.

His body may be
returned to the earfh,

but his spirit
will Iive forever.

We, your fellow officers,

salute you, Sam .

Your duty done, may
you rest in peace.

Ready,

aim, fire!

I was shaving you .

Where am I?

Now don't worry. Everything's
going to be just fine.

That's not me!

What the hell have
you done to me?

We did some work on you .

Just your face.
Thank you, N urse.

You'd better have had
a damn good reason .

We did.

You were ugly.

Who's we?

You've been recruited by an
organization that doesn't exist.

Sam Makin is dead, pal.

Some nasty man shoved him and his
police cruiser into the East River.

Yeah , well, I'm a
pretty healthy corpse.

The operative word is "corpse."

You've got a new face, new
fingerprints, even a new name.

Williams.

Remo Williams.

A lot of thought went into it.

We needed someone, and you
were the best we could find.

Decorated cop, ex-Marine,
no family, no commitments.

If I'm the best you can find ,
you're in pretty deep shit, pal .

Who the hell are you, anyway?
FBI? CIA? Salvation Army?

Who we are, are the people
who got you by the balls, Remo.

Besides, we need you.

Our cops are corrupt, our judges
bought, our politicians up for sale.

Everywhere you Iook,
slime is on the Ioose.

You're going to be
the EIeventh Commandment.

"Thou shalt not
get away with it."

You're the guy that set me up
in that warehouse, ain't you?

Nice job.

The name's MacCIeary.
We'Il get to know each other.

Enjoy the fruit, Remo.

"Remo."

Jeez!

There you go, Mr. Mossler.

Soon you're gonna be as snug
as a Iittle old bug in a rug .

Where the hell are you going
with my ambulance?

Turn Ieft at the
next intersection,

Remo.

Don't get any cute ideas, Remo.

"National Bank"?

What, are you opening an account for me?
Let's go.

What do these things do?

Keep track of your wardrobe?

I thought they figured out a way
to make those things smaller.

These are the smaller ones.

- Come in, Mr. . .
- Williams, Remo Williams.

Good evening, Mr. Williams.

I'm Harold Smith . I'm the head of the
organization that just recruited you .

You call dumping me in the river
and reshuffling my face recruitment?

Yep. It works. Sit down .

Come on, my boy.

I know your ribs are hurfing
like a son of a bitch .

Now sit down a minute.
Make yourself comforfable.

I'Il tell you a Iittle bit
about the way we work here.

Yeah , I've seen how you work.

You run black-bag operations,
you kidnap people.

You beat the shit out of them,
and nobody holds you accountable.

We're accountable, Mr. Williams.

- Let me guess. To the President.
- Yep.

And five of them before him . I've
Iost track. I don't even vote anymore.

Sorry to disappoint you .
I'm voting with my feet.

Now you want to sit down?

I'm only going to say this once.

This is a wonderful
country, my boy,

but our legal system doesn't
work the way it's supposed to.

I'm talking about people who roam
the halls of power with impunity.

Who corrupt and subverf
the very principles

our constitution
exists to uphold .

Look, your friend already gave
me the Gettysburg Address.

Has he?

Here's another one.

"Guard , protect and
cherish your Iand ,"

"for there is no afterlife for a
place that starfed out as Heaven ."

Charles M . Russell,
Montana, 1 926.

1 926?

That's ancient history, Dad.

The computer said you were a smarf ass.
And you never heard of computer error?

Not this one.

Take a Iook at that innocent
Iittle box, my boy.

It's hooked to all those
computers you saw downstairs.

And every scrap of processed information
in the United States comes through here.

If it's out there,
I can find it.

It helps us keep
track of the bad guys.

Hell, I can find out the temperature
of your ass in that chair,

if I really want to know.

But it won't do everything.

And that's why we got you here,
Mr. Williams.

You're going to help remove
some of the filth in there.

I Iike that. That's nice.

It's a lot nicer than "kill," or "destroy,"
or "terminate with extreme prejudice."

I mean , that's what you're really
talking about, now, isn't it?

I think he's got it, Mr. Smith.

That's exactly what we're
talking about, Mr. Williams.

Suppose l say no?

Then you're a dead
son of a bitch .

And we already got a coffin .

How big is this organization?

Just the three of us.

Mac here will get you
cleaned up and briefed .

You starf work Monday night,
Mr. Williams.

Here we are.

N ice pad, huh, Remo?

First hit. No big deal.
You'II get used to it.

Nothing Iike throwing in a man
at the deep end .

What's this guy done
that's so special?

Come on, Remo, we run on a
need-to-know basis. You know that.

Don't take any chances.
This guy's a killer.

Remember,

in , out, like a duck mating .

- Where are you gonna be?
- Right behind you .

How do you open this?

Speak English?

Does a nightingale sing?

Yeah ...

- How do you get out of here?
- The same way you came in.

No good .

There's a guy outside who wants
me to knock off your boss.

I am here alone.

There is no one upstairs.

Okay, now Iook, Iet's not make
any trouble for each other.

AIl I wanna do is
to get out of here.

It is too late for that.

Hold it! I don't want to kill
you, but l will if I have to.

I'II show you chop-socky,
you sawed-off Iittle runt.

Chiun , what do you think?

He is very slow.

His reflexes are pitiful.

Poorly coordinated .

He is in wretched
physical condition .

Impetuous.

And clumsy.

He moves Iike a baboon
with two club feet.

However, there is a feeble glint
of promise in his eyes.

I think I can do
something with him .

Good.

Geor9c S. Grove.

Born Albany, New
York, May 10, 1933.

BA, Electrical Fn9ineerin9,
Parkson Colle9e.

Served two tours, supply
scr9eant, Korean conflict.

In 1962, foundcd
Grove Industries,

Advanced Weapons Technolo9y.

Current projects:
Co-18 surfacc-to-air missile.

HARP Hi9h Altitude
Reconnaissance Probe.

Prototype lor thc
star Wars pro9ram.

Invcsti9ation, corporate
tax cvasion, 1979.

No char9es filed.

1981. Suspected bribery.

Procurement, delcnse contracts.

After thc disappearance of
lnvcsti9atin9 Officcr Murray Benton,

no char9es filed.

Therc wcre three witnesses alle9ed
to have secn thc murder of Bcnton.

No char9es werc filed
lor lack of cvidence.

They disappeared, too.

If thc company can 't 9et anythin9
on Grovc, then you know he 's 9ood.

All I can promise you
is terror for breakfast,

pressure for lunch
and aggravation for sleep.

Your vacations
will be two minutes

when you're not looking
over your shoulder.

And if you live to draw a
pension, it'II be a miracle.

Are there any disadvantages?

Hell, I'm Iucky I've
Iasted this long .

Tell me something, MacCIeary.

- Can you dodge bullets?
- Nowadays, only if they come real slow.

Do I really have
to live with him?

Chiun's probably
not crazy about the idea either.

He says you smell
Iike hamburgers.

Top floor.

See you .

MacCIeary.

If this turns out to
be another set up,

you're not gonna Iive
to collect that pension .

I personally guarantee it.

Didn't I tell you, we don't
use that bang-bang stuff.

Your mind and your body
become your weapon .

That's what your new pal Chiun
is going to teach you .

Okay, so you caught me
with a couple of Iucky shots.

But I got to hand it to you, that
bullet-dodging number wasn't bad .

I Iike the little thing
you did with the gun .

You move Iike a pregnant yak.

Sit.

- Breathe.
- Breathe?

- Come on, you got to. . .
- Silence!

The fool chatters but it is
the wise man that Iistens.

Breathe.

All right, now wait a minute.

Is this gonna be the kind of training
where we sit around for 1 0 years,

and you tell me I'm big enough
to break a brick with my big toe?

You have come into
the care of Chiun ,

Master of Sinanju .

Sinanju is a village in Korea, where
all the fighting arfs were born .

Kung fu , karate, ninjitsu.

They are all but shadows.

Sinanju is the sun.

Most intelligent people
know this already.

But it is apparent to me that you
know less than nothing. Pay attention .

You did not ask to be white, so
perhaps that is not your fault.

You did not ask to be here.

Perhaps that is not your fault, either.
So let us make this pact.

I will train you for
your first service.

And then, I will
return to my country.

Pressure. Nerve ends.

Sinanju .

Technique developed since
the birfh of time

by the most gifted
race on Earfh .

You always talk
like a Chinese forfune cookie?

Chinese!

The Korean is the
most perfect creature

ever to sanctify the earfh
with the imprint of his foot.

- Now we will breathe.
- Breathe.

Breathe out,

slowly.

Do not gulp.

If you do not breathe correctly,
you do not move correctly.

Pitiful.

I can see the deadly hamburger
has done its evil work.

We must sweat the
poison from your body,

and rebuild from the inside.

Now, we will proceed
to Iesson number two.

Follow, please.

What are you waiting
for? Applause?

Midtown . 44th Street.

You are afraid .

Fear is nothing
more than a feeling .

You feel hot, you feel hungry,
you feel angry, you feel afraid .

Fear can never kill you .

Purge your mind of fear
and believe in yourself.

Without that belief,
I can do nothing with you.

Now we will do it again .

But faster.

Grove Hi9h Altitudc
Reconnaissance Probe.

Pro9ram ori9inally
projected:$758 million.

Final assembly ol
prototype: $936 million.

Fstimated cost at time ol
commission:$1.22 billion.

These li9ures are
in 1983 dollars.

The prototype...

Currently, our friend Grove is
playin9 the D. C. charity circuit.

Bi9 donor.

He 's also bi9 with the Star Wars
crowd. And he ou9ht to be.

Half ol them arc on his payroll.

He 's 9ood. Real 9ood.

- No more Boy Scouts.
- Yes, Geor9e.

This is interesting .

Someone's trying to enter
one of the circuits

I had marked for
special surveillance.

I wonder who the intruder is.

- What's the matter?
- I can't get what I'm looking for.

I hate to hear you say that.

Why should the HARP DBA Cost-62
be restricted?

Maybe you've got cold hands.

AIIow me.

See?

Do I sense frustration?

L'll bet you've had
a lot of experience with that.

If I continue to stroke
these Iittle keys here...

You might stunt your growth.

No, Lieutenant, I'Il seek
satisfaction elsewhere.

Come in.

- Major Fleming .
- General, I have a problem.

The computer is classifying cost
overruns within the HARP database.

You know what I think about computers.
Sir, it's not a malfunction .

Maybe it hasn't
been entered yet.

They're entered and available,
otherwise access would not be denied .

General, I'm the senior WCA on this post,
I should have access to that information .

There's no reason for
it to be withheld .

Right. We do have a problem .
Just Iet me have a full reporf.

It'Il be on your desk
tonight, and , sir,

I really would appreciate action by
the time l return from Forf Baxter.

- Fort Baxter?
- The AR-60 test.

Grove infantry assault rifle.

Of course. The AR-60.
You have a job to do.

But, Rayner, Iet me give
you a word of advice.

Never feel you have to overdo
it. You know what I mean?

It makes no difference to me
that you're a woman .

That's good news, sir.

And if it's any reassurance,

it makes no difference to me
that you're a man .

AIl right, what have
you done with the food?

A Korean fingerboard .

What are you staring at?

- You can't see.
- I can see.

Then what're you
wearing those for?

I wear glasses so
that I may see more.

A Korean fingerboard .
Begin tapping your fingers.

SIowly at first
and then increasing the force.

With time, your nails will
become hard, your fingers strong.

They will be able to do more than
just carry food to your face.

- They will become a trained weapon.
- Trained to kill?

Not kill. A truck kill.

Meat of cow, kill.

American assassins
kill, like butchers.

Masters of Sinanju ,
since the dawn of time,

have killed to promote harmony,

and to bring about a more peaceful
humor to the entire community.

We have done this throughout
history. For example,

Genghis Khan,

the Persian boy, AIexander,

- Robin Hood .
- Robin Hood?

A bandit. Louis XI I I . Napoleon .

Come on, Napoleon
died in his bed .

Wrong.

AIl of them pertect
assassinations.

You make it sound
Iike a public service.

Professional assassination is the
highest form of public service.

So I will persevere.

I have taken the
Emperor Smith's gold.

And a Korean's word is his bond .

Place your hands
behind your head .

I did not say keep them there.

Your reflexes are pitiful .

The seasons move faster.

No doubt, the
result of all that filthy

poison you have been
stuffing into your belly.

Do you know why Americans
call it fast food?

Because it speeds them
on the way to the grave.

As I feared , you have
no sense of humor.

From now on, you will eat rice.

Eat rice and play with my
fingerboard . Great!

Keep it near you at all times.
Hang it on a wall.

How?

Find a nail.

- Good mornin9, Jim.
- Hi, Doc.

How're you feelin9 this mornin9?
Hey, ncver better.

Coach Jenkins camc
by last ni9ht.

He told mc that they're
savin9 my place on the team.

When l'm out of hcre in a couplc ol
wecks, l'm 9oin9 ri9ht back on that squad.

What's the matter, Doc?

L'm sorry, Jim. l'vc
9ot to level with you.

The le9 has 9ot to come off.

No!

I was 9onna be an all-American.

Well, now, you can be
all-American for coura9e.

Ooctor, does Linda know?

There's somethin9 else
l'vc 9ot to tell you, Jim.

What are you watching?

Your country's one and only
contribution to the arf.

It concern family,
Iove, honor and courage.

All that is noblest
in the human spirit.

It's a soap opera,
for Christ's sakes.

You'Il spoil it.

It's pre-spoiled . Look, it's 8:00 and
I haven't eaten all day. AII right?

One minute to 8:00. The trained
mind does not need a watch.

Watches are a confidence trick
invented by the Swiss.

You would be better employed
developing your pitiful skills

than whining about your belly.

Remember, perfection is a road,

- not a destination .
- I love it when you talk Iike that.

And I would Iove it if you would
kindly concentrate on your practice.

Keep the weight off your toes.

Ta-da!

Every man is occasionally
blessed with Iuck.

Now, down.

My pleasure. Down is easy.

What happened?

You rely on what you know,
not what you see.

What is your problem?

Pathetic.

Come on , it's only
water. It won't bite you .

Move it.

I said move it.

- Everything okay?
- Yeah, sure.

That's it, Damico, hide behind a Ieaf.
No one will find you there.

Don't just stand there!
Get down there and help Johnson!

Radio the base and get an
ambulance out here, on the double.

Yes, sir.

Hoffa, what the hell are you doing?
Break out your first-aid kit. Now.

About this new weapon, sir.

I want to tell you something .

- It's useless, sir!
- You're way out of line, soldier!

- Sergeant!
- Sir!

Assemble the company. l want
a weapons check right away.

Yes, sir.

And , Sergeant, I want your
reporf on my desk by 1 600!

Sir, we've got over 1 20 AR-60s
in this company!

You heard what I
said . Now, Get to it.

Yes.

General Watson .

Good morning , General.

We've got a problem , George.

I'm sure you can
handle it, General .

A soldier's been killed
by your new AR-60.

That's what they get paid for.

It blew up in his face, George. I've
got the reporf right here on my desk.

Therc'll have to be an inquiry.

Scott.

Scott, I suggest you
Iose that reporf.

I can't do that.

Listen to me, Watson .

Uncle Sam gave you your uniform .

Just about everything else
you got from me.

Bury that report.

Thank you, General.

Therc's too many idiots
like him on the payroll.

Breathe.

Use the air.

Do not waste it.

- Relax.
- Relax.

Will you hang there all day, or may
we continue the exercise, please?

- Jesus.
- Concentrate! This is no time for prayer!

You are not here to sightsee.

That's it, kids. Lady Luck is watching you .
She's got her eyes on you .

She hasn't got all day.

She's waiting for a crap game
in Bensonhurst.

Here we are, folks.

Seven hoops a dollar.
Everyone a winner. Sir!

You want to make
your grandchildren happy?

Drop a hoop on a
bottle, win a prize,

and you're gonna see
their little faces light up.

And your money back, Gramps.

If you can tell me where you can
buy one of these genuine

handmade Taiwanese beauties.

Just remember, I
won it. He's mine.

So, il you will excusc me,
youn9 Dr. Hastin9s,

l must 9et up to the
thcater and scrub up.

It's a dan9erous opcration.
lt's never been tried before.

I promiscd that boy he's 9oin9
to walk, and hc's 9oin9 to walk!

Don 't do it. lfyou fail, it
could mean a malpractice suit.

Think ofyour
professional reputation.

That boy mcans more to me than all
of my prolessional awards combined.

Therc's only one thin9 that worries me.
What's that?

Whether his stepmother
will permit the operation.

You see, she's my ex-wile.

Where's Jim ?

- You shouldn 't be hcre.
- l said wherc's Jim?

Miss, I'm sorry.
You'll have to leavc.

Nobody is 9oin9 to stop me
from scein9 my liancé.

- What did you say?
- Jim and l are en9a9ed.

Tune in at the
same time tomorrow

lor our continuin9 sa9a
of Beyond the N ight.

Brou9ht to you by Continental
Airlines, a new tradition in flyin9.

Jim is Ieaving the hospital.

Great.

- He's going to his mother's funeral.
- That's tough.

But I think the nurse Iikes him .
That's good.

However, there's seems to be some
complication with the stepmother.

It would be better for you to eat
this can than what is inside of it.

Why must everything in this
country be covered with ...

"Monosodium glutamate."
You can't even say it.

I can say "rat droppings." It
does not mean I want to eat them .

Tomorrow, if you work well, you may have
a teaspoon full of honey in your rice.

But I make no promises.

You heard the sound of my flexor
tendons as I squeezed the trigger.

And I saw the flutter of your
metacarpals. Not bad , huh?

That's two bullets.
Child's play.

When you can avoid six bullets,

then you will have
accomplished something .

No rice.

No rice?

You forgot the rice.

Maybe we can grow some.

Maybe you will spare me
your feeble attempts at humor,

and save them for the shopkeeper
at the corner.

He has excellent Chung-ju rice.

You used the other
four yesterday.

I reloaded .

With all duc respect
to the Major,

at this point in time, Ms. Flemin9,
cost ovcrruns are immatcrial.

The Air Forcc cannot evaluate
HARP until HARp llies.

Fxactly my point. Mr. Chairman,

if I may be permitted
to ask Mr. Grove a question .

When can we expect
to see the HARP, Mr. Orove?

I can't believe what
I'm hearing here today.

I've devoted my Iife to
developing new and better ways

to defend this great
country of ours.

I never raised the subject
of your patriotism , Mr. Grove.

I should damn well hope not.

If we couldjust 9et back
to the qucstion at hand.

What about the CD-1 3, Major?

Three months ahead of schedule
and under budget.

Ready for testing next week.

Mount Promise, yes, I know.
General Watson and I will be there.

L'm impressed, Mac.
This 9irl's 9ot a lot of 9uts.

Who?

Major Fleming.

She's the one who tried to
tap into the Grove circuit.

And if she's not careful, she's gonna
wind up with her ass in a sling .

She's coming in to New York, Mac.
Maybe you'd better slow her down a bit.

Because every time she mentions HARP,
our man Grove be9ins to 9et an itch.

I wonder why?

I want that bitch put
on a very shorf Ieash.

Should be right up
your alley, eh, Stone?

Pick up your feet.

Float.

Float.

Congratulations, Chiun .

Bearing in mind
that nature snubbed him cruelly

by denying him Korean birfh,

I am not entirely dissatisfied .

- When will he be ready?
- Ahead of time, I think.

Excellent.

That means?

- Fifteen years.
- Fifteen years?

If I cut a few
corners, 1 4-and-a-half.

Chiun, I need to
borrow him for a while.

- Emily, Jim's your son.
- l'm only his stepmother.

But Mar9aret told me somcthin9
just before she died.

What's that?

Jim's your son, too.

Is it painful?

I was singing an old
Korean love song.

The race must be
practically extinct.

Chiun , do you mind if
I ask you something?

- Two more minutes.
- No, I mean ,

how old are you? I mean, really.
You are old , aren't you?

For an apricot, yes.

For a head of
lettuce, even more so.

But for a mountain,
I am not even begun in years.

For a man , I am just right.

Now I know, don't I?

You ever been married?

I am the Master of Sinanju .

No women . Vows of celibacy.
Eunuch . That sorf of stuff, huh?

You are trying to say something?

No, just...

Yeah. What I'm saying is

I've been cooped up in this rat
hole for a whole month,

- working my. . .
- Sex.

Yeah, sex! Now you're cooking . Maybe
it's the breathing and the rice...

Lesson 36.

36?

The 20 steps designed to bring
a woman to sexual ecstasy.

Though I personally have rarely
found it necessary to go beyond seven

to achieve bliss.

Go on, l'm Iistening .

With the Ieft hand ,
you Iocate the woman's pulse.

Then, with the middle finger,

and tapping in time
with the pulse...

Then what?

Then you may put the rice in the
bowl and we may eat.

What was the number
of the Iesson this morning, huh?

Wasn't 36, I know that.

You would call it "four."
I would call it "embarrassing ."

You know, Chiun , there are
times when I really like you .

Of course. I am Chiun.

Then there are times
when I could really kill you .

Good!

We will practice
that after dinner!

Major FIeming?

Colonel Gayber is expecting you .

Major FIeming, sir.

Hello, Major. I have the
documents you requested .

- Hi.
- Hi.

That's a nice uniform .

Great buttons.

Buttons?

Taxi! Taxi! Oh, hell.

You can never get one
when you want one.

Taxi!

Let me do this. Looks like
you got your hands full .

Thanks very much for your help
but I think I'II walk.

- Got a problem , buddy?
- Get out of the way.

Am I keeping you from something?

If you're in a hurry, pal,
all you got to do is say so.

People here in New York have manners.
They don't Iean on their horns.

Jesus! Who's your
dentist? Tiffany's?

Excuse me.
What are you doing to that boy?

Unnecessary use of
the horn, Officer.

I'II be unnecessary use of my nightstick on
your thick skull if you don't let him go.

Whatever happened to police courfesy
and that kind of stuff, huh?

We save that bullshit
for the Upper East Side.

I'm gonna kick your
skinny white ass

all up and down this
street if you don't stop

kung-fuing that man's throat.
Now, move it!

Yes, sir, ma'am . Anything you say.
You're just doing your duty.

I'm just a simple Iaw-abiding
citizen, Officer.

I said move it.

I don't Iike it, George.
I don't Iike it at all.

Have you seen these photos
that Stone took?

We've got one phony-bird colonel
playing footsies

with one little
Miss Know-It-AII,

who's dodging tails
with one faceless wonder,

who's so anonymous he doesn't even
have any record or fingerprints.

They're throwing some secret fraud-squad
at us and we're fishing in the dark.

Obviously,
but before I can shut them down,

I need to know who they are.

Shake some trees,
see who falls out.

Shaken every tree I can find .
I've come up empty.

Of course.

Because you haven't played hard
ball, like we did in Tennessee.

Let's give them a body.
See who claims it.

Starf with him .

Couldn't we just skip this
Iesson and move on a bit?

Say, to lesson number 36?

Silence! The Emperor Smith
is disgusted with your progress.

How many times have I had to
tell you? He's not an Emperor.

Enough ! You are using only a fraction of
the power in your body and your brain .

Sinanju uses it all .

That is its sole secret,

its only strength .

You are here to conquer
your childish fear of heights.

When you have done so,

we shall meet below
and starf another exercise.

27, 23, 29, 30.

- You got it, mister.
- Yeah . No problem .

- Like falling off a Iog.
- I'Il take mine now, Frankie.

What are you guys, crazy?

You got no right up here, mister.
Authorized personnel only.

- That's to prevent accidents.
- Suicide, that kind of thing .

Okay, look, I'm coming
down , all right?

Yeah. You sure
are. The shorf way.

End of the Iine, pal.

He's coming your way!

I got him . I got him .

Come on, get him now!

I rather enjoyed that.

Yeah . Eight-and-a-half gainer
with a full twist.

Your people did a good job.

AIl right. Let's
get out of here.

Okay, guys. It's Miller time.

I tried to grab him .
He must have slipped.

Yeah, I saw that.

He's falling down .

- Terrible.
- It's a tragedy.

What the hell is going on?

Bastard !

He's behind you !

Get him .

Wait, man . I didn't do nothing .

You can't come over here!

- Look out, buddy.
- Who is he?

- No!
- Don't go in there!

That's new cement, man!

You know, Mac, I could tell you
what George Grove

had for Iunch every
day this month.

But I can't find out
a goddamn thing about HARP.

Now, how do you suppose
he managed that Iittle trick?

Good . I'm glad you're both here.

'Cause we're gonna
straighten something out.

I just spent the morning being
chased around the Statue of Liberfy

by a bunch of goons.

What were you doing on the
Statue of Liberfy, Mr. Williams?

Chasing pigeons. That's not the point.
Those guys were trying to kill me.

Who?

A friend with a Tiffany
tooth . That's who.

Will somebody tell me
what the hell's going on?

- If he's onto Remo, he's onto us.
- Who's "he"?

Why don't we take him out
before he gets any closer?

No.

I can't do that, Mac.

I need more to go on .

Those guys tried to kill me.
You want more?

Mr. Williams, CURE is not at all
interested in your personal problems.

CU RE sucks, whatever CU RE is.

Mr. Williams, what
we can't do here

is embarrass the President.

Now, a man named Grove
has discovered your existence.

But before CU RE becomes visible,

we must all disappear
without a trace.

And how do you plan to do that?

Simple.

Harold W. Smith,

Assistant Research Manager,
found dead in his office.

Massive coronary.

I keep this pill in my pocket.

Across town another man is found in
the stockroom of a men's haberdashery,

his head blown off.

Where does that leave me?

It Ieaves you with your
slant-eyed little buddy, Chiun .

He's got your number.

Should be fast and painless.

Boys, we're not there yet.

But we'd better have
a look at the HARP

and we'd better come up
with something pretty soon,

or we will have to
vacate this office.

You and I are going to visit
Mr. Grove's plant.

Allegheny, 1 0:00, Gate 23.

Don't be Iate.

There is something
you wish to ask.

The answer is yes.

If the Emperor
Smith so ordered it,

I would have to kill you .

It is in the contract.

Cliff wants you .

Chiun teach you that?

No.

Anti-personnel mine. Korea.

See you back at the fence.

What Iesson number
was dogs, Chiun?

Let's see you try to get up
here, you sons of bitches.

You're not your average
sons of bitches.

Try that, you mother.

Remo!

- What happened?
- Man, I blew it.

Don't worry about it. I think I
got what we need here. Come on .

Grab that dozer over there.

Move it!

Jump!

Get this to Smith .

He won't be with
us for much longer.

Has he talked yet?

Get Stone.

HARP,

the so-called cornerstone of defense
for this nation, for the next decade.

What about it?

What about it?
There is none. It doesn't exist.

But I saw the damn thing .
It blew up in my face!

I know.

But what you saw was a fake,

it was window-dressing,
it was a pipe dream .

It doesn't exist.

And before you got close enough
to figure it out, poof.

Self-destruct.

Blew our only hard piece of
evidence right out of courf.

Hell, I'll bet this guy is filing for
his fire-insurance claims right now.

I've got to take my hat off
to this Mr. Grove, Remo.

He's gonna get his
appropriations, you know,

for HARP-2 and HARP-3,
and in six months, Remo,

hell, nobody will even ask him
what happened to HARP-1 .

And you think it's funny?

Mac gives his Iife to get you that
stuff so you could nail the bastard ,

and you're telling me he's
gonna get away with it, huh?

That we can't stop him?

You can stop him , son .

Just tell me where he is.

Mount Promise.

But it's got to Iook like one
of Chiun's pertect accidents.

It'll be my pleasure.

Major. Nice to see you again .

I feel I owe you an apology.

I get pretty hot
under the collar

when someone tries to tells me
how to run my business.

But you're just doing your job.

And pretty darn well,
by the Iooks of it.

The imporfant thing is that we're
both working for the same side, right?

Yes, Mr. Grove. And
speaking of work, I

still have a Iot to do
before this afternoon .

Carry on, Major.

Actually, General, there was one point
I wanted to clear up with the Major.

What have you got there, George?
-Just a small matter of national security.

Who are you working for?

Let me explain something to you ,
Mr. Grove.

A: I don't like being spied on.

B: You have no right to make
accusations that you cannot prove.

And C: I have no idea who these
men are or who they work for.

So if you'll excuse me, General,
I have things to attend to.

Hi.

Remember me?

Yes.

I remember you , all right.

You just set my career back
about a decade.

I'm supposed to be
your accomplice.

Who the hell are you?

You know, I could march you into that
building and clear this up right now.

You could but you won't.

Who are you to give me orders?
Army Intelligence?

You are Army
Intelligence, aren't you?

It's the AR-b0, isn't it?

No wonder I've been having so
much trouble getting information.

We've been working on the same
thing . I'm so sorry.

I don't know your name or your
rank. Do I salute you?

You salute me.

Major FIeming . Hi, I'm Jim Wilson.
Grove Industries.

General Watson asked
me to contact you .

He tells me you have some
concern about our AR-60s.

Damn right. It's about time somebody
took this problem seriously.

That's what I'm here for, ma'am .
I've got one set up down on C Range.

- I can run you down there if you Iike.
- I'd appreciate that, Mr. Wilson. Let's go.

What are you waiting for, soldier?
A presidential invitation?

The only thing our guys at Baton
Rouge could figure out

was that the retaining ring
hadn't been bolted down correctly.

It doesn't click on
like a bayonet joint.

If some dumb dogface doesn't follow specs
and tries to force it, it'Il malfunction .

Malfunction? When a piece of
metal blows someone's head off,

that isn't malfunction, Mr. Wilson ,
it's defective manufacture.

It means that somewhere
along the Iine,

your company allowed a design
error to creep in .

Did you run the 31 0 test on them
as well as the 480 sequence?

No. I think we're
going to find blowback.

- Blowback?
- Precisely.

If that retaining ring is misaligned, a
bullet could conceivably jam in the barrel.

And at 20 rounds a second
on full automatic,

well, the results
would naturally be catastrophic.

Catastrophic is not the word .

I must tell you, Mr. Wilson, that the Army
has Iong suspected Grove Industries of...

What the hell is going on?

Give it five minutes. Don't forget
to unlock the safety catches.

It's got to look like
a nice little accident.

That's for my friends
at the Statue.

This one's for me.

So Iisten to this,
George. Lymon four-puts.

Four-puts, mind you .

I thought he'd have a stroke. And
I'd have claimed it if he had .

Sir. I'm afraid there's been a serious
incident at the gas testing area.

Patal, I'm afraid .

- That's terrible.
- What happened?

One of your
assistants, Mr. Grove.

The first thing I'm
gonna do is file a 1 611 .

And if that doesn't work
I'm gonna nail them with a 1 098.

Who were those bastards, anyway?

That guy, Wilson,

he's gonna wish he'd never been
born by the time I finish with him.

What the hell did he think
he was doing anyway?

Thank you.

By the way,

I guess I should also thank you
for getting me out of there.

I remember passing
out, and then ...

I think we'd better keep moving .

Hey! That's not the way, that's
west. The camp is up there.

Yeah, I know. That's why
we're going this way. Come on .

Look, I've got to reporf this
to General Watson.

Those people tried to
kill us, for God's sake.

- Major Fleming. . .
- Rayner.

Rayner. Listen, I hate
to pull rank on you,

but I want Grove Industries
as bad as you . Right?

Okay, Iet's do it my
way. Neat and tidy.

All wrapped up in one package.
How does that sound?

Sounds good to me, sir.

Gentlemen , as of now
this base is on AIpha-1 alerf.

This is not an exercise.
I repeat, this is not an exercise.

Military secrets
have been stolen.

A man has been killed

and Major Fleming
has been reporfed as missing .

Our infrared heat sensors
indicate two targets

moving west toward the
perimeter of the camp.

They must be intercepted
and detained .

Sir, if there's resistance,
do we return fire?

The security of the United States is
at risk, Captain . What do you think?

Oentlemen , you have your orders.

Haven't eaten this
good in weeks.

- How're you feeling?
- Fine.

- You sure?
- Sure.

I'm going to be
down at the Iake...

You are deaf!

I have been stomping around here
for 1 0 minutes,

while you talk nonsense
with this woman .

Pleasure to meet you , too.

Even worse, you and the woman
gorge yourself on sweets.

Excuse me, but I do have a name.

Women should stay home
and make babies.

Preferably man-child .

I see you both went
to the same charm school.

He always talks Iike
that. He's Korean .

I see. And that explains
why he lives in a forest.

No. Actually he's here
for a special purpose.

To kill me.

Not so.

I'm here to see that you do not
bring shame to the House of Sinanju .

And if I do, then you kill me.

That I would do reluctantly
because you have been a good pupil.

- For a white man .
- I see.

So that makes everything
okay, doesn't it?

You are very skinny.

Why don't you try tightening
the pinion nut first?

Because if I do that, I won't be
able to line up the splines, dummy.

Sure don't make them
like they used to.

I'Il tell Lee Iacocca
you said that.

Damn, Harold . What did you do?

The brakes!

Jesus! Jump!

- You all right?
- Yeah, I'm fine.

You all right, Chiun?

Christ!

God ! Chiun.

In Korea, door
handles do not break.

Chiun.

Chiun, are you all right?

- Are you hurf?
- No.

When you approach middle age,

there is a tendency
towards bruising, my son.

What?

What did you call me?

I called you a clumsy oaf.

You drive like a monkey in heat!

Oh, my God !

- Are you all right?
- And why should I not be?

What are we going to do now?

You're gonna stay with Chiun . He'II
probably teach you to breathe.

- I have a job to finish .
- Remo!

Do not embarrass us.

I won't.

Little Father.

This is ridiculous. Do you
know what he's trying to do?

They'll arrest him ,
they'll courf-marfial him .

Silence.

They'Il Iock him up
and throw away the keys,

and you just stand there
like Nanook of the Norfh!

Why don't you help him, for
God's sake! I thought he was...

Lesson 22. BIessed silence.

This is Pinc Tree Command.
Good mornin9, 9entlcmen.

I hope we're in
for some 9ood huntin9 today.

Prepare to copy your
scctor priorities.

Now, that includes you and your
littlc buddies down therc, Liebowitz.

Go ahead, Pine Tree.

All stations to Situ-1.

That means pull your fin9ers out of
your ears and 9ivc a listen, boys.

Wc're live this mornin9.

- Pine Tree, this is Mistletoe.
- Come on in, Mistletoe.

Bearin9 120.

We have contact.

- Tar9et's headin9 west.
- Ran9e ?

- 3. 6 and closin9.
- That's a ro9. Thank you, Mistletoe.

Pine Trce to all
stations, 9o to Situ-2.

I say a9ain, 9o to Situ-2. This
is not an exercisc. We arc live.

This is Redwood.

We have triangulation.

Alpha-7-1-2-Zulu-0-0-9er.

Target entering carpet area.

This is Bandit
Chief. Go to Situ-3.

- Lock and load.
- On your command, Bandit Chief.

Prime.

Red-4 Iive. Red-5 live.

Pine Tree Command.
We show two in thc 9reen.

All sectors sccure.
Ovcr to you, Bandit Chiel.

Commence pattern .

This is Pinc Tree Command.
Good work, 9entlemen.

Prepare to stand down sectors
Redwood, Dou9las, Cedar and Mistletoe.

Mop up commands search party
to Red-4 and report.

Ro9er, Pinc Trec, will comply.

They better take the Batjet.

You're not going to
believe this, Pine Tree.

My sensor indicates human presence
50 meters above the ground .

This sucker must've grown wings.

This is Bandit Chief. I say
again, this is Bandit Chief.

Stop your goddamn chattering

and give me radio silence
and some map coordinates!

Yes, sir! Comin9 ri9ht up, sir!

You are proccedin9 in
a northcrly direction.

Not us, you jackass! The target!

Yes, sir!

Foxtrot-4-6-4-Zulu-5-0-5.

Headin9 toward the lake.

Stop!

AIl right, soldier.
Nail that commie son of a bitch.

Get him .

That guy's going nowhere, sir.

Shit.

- Are you out of your mind , George?
- It's your ass, too, Scott.

Damn . Get me more ammo.

He's getting away, George!

I can see that. What the
hell are you waiting for?

Pine Trce Command.
Comc in, Bandit Chiel. Over.

Stop right there.

I used to be interested in who you
work for. Now I don't give a damn.

You're a dangerous
Iiability, my friend .

You'll be dead in
about 1 5 seconds.

The amusing thing is they'll probably
give me a medal for shooting you .

Who are you?

Remo Williams.

Also found in the wrccka9e of a
tra9ic accidcnt was Gcor9e S. Grove,

chairman of Grovc lndustries,

many-time recipicnt ol the
presidcntial Medal lor Excellence,

and well known for his
contributions to charity.

Also killed was Bri9adier
General Scott...

- Where's Chiun?
- He went to Iook for you .

First squad, take the right flank.
Wheeler, take the bogies Ieft and around.

Be careful, they may be armed . And
for crying out Ioud , watch the Major.

She's a woman and
she's on our side.

There he is.

Careful, men. Hold your fire.

You must run very fast.

Who are you?

Would you believe
we're the good guys?

- Are you all right, Major?
- Yes, I'm fine.

Everything's fine.

Faster!

You know, Chiun, sometimes
you're a real pain in the ass.

That is because it is the
shorfest route to your brain!

- But we must hurry.
- What's the rush?

We must return in time to see
if Jim is truly going to walk.

- What did you say?
- Or has the doctor merely told him so

because he hoped to get a new wing
for the hospital from his stepmother.

- Chiun, you're incredible.
- No.

I am better than that.