Original subtitles

VENIAL SIN

Come! Come on, my little treasure!

Do you want a biscuit ? Want one?

It's very good. Come!

Eat, it's good!

Be sure not to do anything stupid.

What's this? It's fastened with wire.

Here it is...

Shit! It escaped again but I will start over...

- Giustino! - At your command!

Dear, it's a quality service, don't break it.

I didn't break it on purpose, it was an accident.

Oh, my God! Only one accident per day.

It didn't take long to break most of the plates today.

and tomorrow she will break the rest for you. - What do you want from me?

I'm still waiting for you to take that animal to the toilet.

- Why do you think I come here? - To pollute the air as well as him.

Besides that, will there be time to shine my shoes?

They're ready!

- Why are you breaking the dishes? - I swear I didn't do it on purpose!

This idiot doesn't know what she swears! I can't stand it anymore!

I didn't want to break the dishes!

I think you wanted to break something, including nerves, right?

- For God's sake! - What's the matter?

Your stupid dog mistook my shoes for the toilet!

Good, maybe now you'll teach him how to use the toilet.

- Look who's called on us. - Surprise!

Mum, dad!

Why are you crying? Your mother needs a babysitter.

I don't know what happened, I put expensive cream on my face, I have no hair left on my body!

There's nothing to understand, the ointment should be absorbed by the body.

Over time your facial hair will disappear.

Why don't you trust me? I said my father is a doctor.

I'll come back on Wednesday? There's only two consultations, you can change.

You can leave!

Me? Now I can't watch, why?

You awaken my shame, if you go, everyone will hear.

- Leave! - Go, go!

- Get out, you idiot! - Okay, I'm going!

It's the first time I'm sitting in a place where I can't stay.

- If you start spying... - M. Sandro!

- The voice of conscience... - I stay here.

Go! Quick now! Isn't that what he wants?

Did you see him? The boy was there.

He's like a savage. Have you packed?

Yes, yes, I'm ready, dad. Okay, let's go!

Do you see, Sandrino? My legs have a lovely tan.

You see my things are gone and I'm not even dead yet.

What is this? Fallen women, women in the fires of nocturnal sex.

Good reading!

I told you before, I'll throw it away later.

And this packet? Who gave you permission?

- You've started smoking now? - Put it back!

- It's confiscated! - Give it to me.

- Okay, fine - Get lost!

Eat your soup! It's the best food...

- Do you smoke? - Fuck you!

Pass the wine!

Where are your manners? You'll ruin the lives of poor creatures!

Take it! See, I'm going to eat. They watch you eating, Pinky.

If that's still the case, don't eat in the kitchen.

Look at this!

Colonel Giustino Bellotto was employed at the Defence Department with the rank of General...

he is going to eat in his kitchen.

It's my house! It was my dowry, I will do what I want.

- Bye, mum! - Don't drive too fast!

Yes, yes! Hello, big boy! Take care of Laura, she's lost without me.

Call me as soon as you can, otherwise I will be worried.

You'll see a week will fly by.

- What will I do without my love? - What about me without my baby?

- Ouch... - What are you doing?

You know I don't mind if there's something left for you.

I don't care!

Gone is the good life, huh?

It's like you're making me start at the end.

- How can I talk to older people? - How old?

- 24, 25, maybe up to 27. - Seriously!

Look! What a beauty!

- Hi, Sandro! - Hi! This is Lino!

Good day, Madame! Sit down, please.

- Can I bring you something? - No thanks.

Do you need help? Don't hesitate to call me.

It's Mr. Muscle ready to put forward his point of view.

This is our morning music spot. We are missing the drum.

As if polished with wax and bouncy as a truck Tyre.

- And now he'll resume his normal position. - What's he doing?

He always has a bad foot,that's where normal people have a brain.

I'm sorry!

See you tonight?

- What an idiot! - He's pretty good.

Bullshit!

- What a jerk! - Forget it, you can build another castle.

The study of ancient history has discovered secret pyramids and ancient writings.

Professor Diletti went to Africa to study the pyramids.

What are you reading?

- Nothing, I'm revising a bit of history. - Bravo!

How boring...

Tomorrow you will need a crane to get out of bed.

Very good, madam! Good night!

How I hate this democracy!

And they say democracy is good. It's exaggerated...

- It's fine, Sandrino it's Renzo! - Do you have radar?

My darling, yes, almost...

Yes, good... How was the trip?

Yes, darling!

What are you talking about, darling?

And how is it possible? I'm sad, I miss you.

And how is he? Tell him he's mean to leave his fiancee alone...

Fight him and berate him... but not too fiercely.

Miserable!

He greets you and me too.

Are you calling tomorrow night?

- Thanks. - It was a pleasure!

- Hey, Sandro! - Did you see that?

- That's my type! Hi, Sandro! - Hi!

- Are you coming? - I can't.

- Why? - Where did you get that?

- It's my sister. - Well, take her with us.

- We'll be together. - If she was your sister, would you take her?

Of course, it would be harmless.

- Well, see you later. - Bye!

- Hi, Sandro! - Hi!

- You're not coming with us to Neptune? - I can't.

That's right, you don't want to go out with us.

What can I do?

- Good! Bye! - Bye!

- Bye! - Bye!

- She's cute. Is she your girlfriend? - What?

You know full well.

Her? She's the one from Milan who failed in the history exams in October.

- I gave her a hand. - With the hand...

How boring can you be...

Slowly, one at a time.

- Don't push me, idiot. - Move!

- Your hands are red... - Your body...

- Your body... They have started.

- Your arm! - An iron hand...

I want to kiss your chest!

- I want to kiss your chest... - Well, it's the same.

- You drive me crazy. - You drive me crazy.

- It will be an unforgettable night! - It will be an unforgettable evening.

No doubt about that...

- Get ready, the fruit is coming. - I came with the fruit.

- I want to kiss her, let them eat anything... - Cats don't want to eat their fruit.

Take the cats...

- Do you like cats? - Last night, I slipped in the bath.

- Full of nails? - It's very spiritual.

- I tried to act like Tarzan and I slipped. - In the bath?

Sandrino, Romulus and Remus in seven letters.

Romulus and Remus...

- Yes! - I'm sorry to have disturbed you, sir.

However, you could be a little more polite.

- Twins, miss. - Thanks, you are very kind.

Listen to the intellectual...

- What an imbecile! - But you didn't know the word, huh?

Go to hell!

Look at them, just muscles! Think of the children!

They destroyed the castle! They ruined everything.

They break my balls.

It means you're not a stranger. I thought you spoke German.

- I'm Italian. - I need to explain something to you.

You are small and he is a mountain.

- Have you heard of David and Goliath? - No, I don't know them.

It doesn't matter. Have you heard of the Indochinese gorilla?

Yes, I've heard of it.

I asked you when you were coming back.

I closed the door, but I can't talk louder, they will hear me.

My flower is withering.

I tell you she is fading!

You can't hear anything, this radio is old. We must buy another one.

- At your service! What do you want? - Can I have some money, dad?

- Do you go out every night? - I hang out with friends at night.

Every day I guard the treasure.

- You want some money? - Yes.

- Only two hundred lire? - The prices have gone up?

At your age, present the bill. Man is not made of wood, he must work.

He seems quite depressed. Is he seeing women? It's time, no?

What are you saying! He's still a child.

At his age I was already an illegitimate grandfather.

- He did not come... - Hi, Sandro!

- Hi! - Hi!

- Come with us. - We're going for some ice cream.

- I can't. - What a bother!

Why not? It's not necessary to always be there...

- Come on, go with your friends. - And you?

Who me? There's no need to stay to guard the treasure.

I can guard my treasure. You can have fun in peace.

- So can I go? - You're still here?

Goodbye!

- My dear! - My heart!

What a long week!

Did you hear the siren? We can turn on the radio.

Stay here! Line up like the English and I kiss everyone.

- How witty...! - My treasure! - Why am I not so lucky?

- This boy has no sense of humour. - How's things?

- They won't let us into the brothel... - What are you doing, smoking?

- What do we do now? - We have to find something else.

If you find the key to my grandmother's library we can read "Lady Chatterley's Lover."

Yes, I've read it and nothing is solved.

Shit, there's more than in the book!

- What are you two looking at? - Alright, let's go!

- Where? - Bring a sackful of cats.

- Throw cats at my sister! - Shut up, they'll hear us.

Good! Fine by me. I don't have a sister anyway.

- Look at them! I would dive between them. - Where would you throw yourself?

- I like threesomes. - Let's go to the hairdresser.

Leave me alone, it hurts.

Why are you looking at me like that, I look weird? I no longer believe in miracle cream.

I prayed to Saint Anthony to let my hair down, but I have to thank him.

Thanks, and to you too!

Bye!

- What kind of cream did you give her? - How do I know? It was toothpaste.

Maybe you gave her too much...

What are those two doing?

- No, no, Renzo! - Yes.

They're fighting.

No, they're not fighting. Laura's laughing...

The classic fuck!

Come back soon, we can't be alone any more.

I packed some meatloaf, who knows what you eat when you're alone.

Stop with the parcels, mom. It ends up in the cats and that's not good.

- Cover the car to prevent freezing. - Okay.

- Bye! Drive carefully! - That's how he drives...!

The show is about to begin.

You are surprising!

Exceptional!

He is very strong!

Help me!

What smells...! It's not sand, he fell in the shit.

Take me to the water! If I catch the idiot who did this...

- Nobody did anything to you. - What a horrible smell...

He finally found his natural element.

Shit! He found his mother!

Go in the water to escape the smell.

There's no danger, the water is warm.

- Are you looking for this? - Thanks!

- Better now? - Thanks.

Thanks!

Sandro, can you undo my bra for me?

Sandro !

Can you rub cream on my back?

See how nice you can be.

- Can you help me, Sandro? - What do you want me to do?

I have to adjust this dress. It's pretty and I don't want to throw it away.

What can I do?

I have to fix the hem and I can't do it by myself.

Pin it.

- Here? - No, it's too long. It's not a nun's dress.

Like this?

I would make it shorter. It will be a beach dress.

- Like that? - No, that's too short.

Excuse me, Sandro! I'm having trouble deciding.

You know we're the same size, we could...

- Faster! - I picture it without heels.

You know you have lovely legs.

- No, you look great. - If you don't stop disrobing me.

I'll fetch a needle and thread. I'll be right back, miss.

God! What shame! I have a gay son!

It had to happen to me.

How cold! Turn around, I want to change by bathing costume.

- Want me to leave? - No, I'll change right away.

- I understand, Sandro. - Is it good for you?

That's fine, now rinse me off, please.

- Can you rinse my hair now, Sandrino? - Excuse me, I was a little...

- Can I come in? - Hold on, dad, I'm almost done.

Don't rush, I can wait.

Bravo ! What hairdressing skills! I compliment you.

Congratulations!

Dad!

- Thank you, Sandrino, you're a treasure. - It was nothing.

- Tell me, do you see them? - What?

- Hairs. - No.

The sun bleaches them but they are there. Do you feel them?

I have to wax, otherwise Renzo will feel them.

I swear we're at least three kilometres from the shore.

Why are you afraid? The sea is calm.

Why should I be afraid?

- Enough, let's go back. - No, come and sit in my place.

- I don't know how to row very well. - Who said you were going to row?

- Why? - I want to tan.

What will you do?

Renzo wants me to be tanned all over. Can you turn around or not?

- Couldn't you come alone? - People are talking.

You know how many words I would have heard if I had come alone?

Everyone interprets it as an invitation. You're naive if you don't understand.

Don't look back, Sandro!

Oh! Why would I turn back?

Bravo! I know you're a good boy.

- Ah, what silence, what peace! - Fuck peace...

I am watching!

If she tells Renzo... He will beat me...

Sandrino !

You know I fell asleep.

Sandrino, pass the cream. Sandrino, take off my bathing costume.

Sandrino, undress me.

Go away!

Go to hell! Out!!

Shut it! Go, go!

Slut! Let's sleep!

He's a bit depressed.

He hasn't eaten anything for a week, he's as white as milk.

- Oh, mum. - If you get sick, I suffer!

- He fell in love. - Mind your own business!

Sighs, hugs and kisses, but he only sighs.

Renzo stop!

As for hugs and kisses he manages on his own, don't you, Sandrino?

Why talk like that, Renzo?

- Is he upset? - Who can understand young people?

It was just a joke.

Sometimes you don't understand a thing, Renzo. He is in love with a girl from Milan.

A girl from Milan? Mum is the last to know.

It may be childish for you but for him it's serious.

You don't have the right to behave in such a vulgar way.

You are really vulgar. You inherited that from your grandfather.

Don't make a whole world out of it. I swear I didn't do it on purpose.

He's been so nice to me these days... a dear!

Get up and go apologise or else I won't pay attention to you until you leave.

I've seen it all!

It's about time! Pinky!

I'm sending it to you right away, my dear.

I warned you, asshole. Just a formality.

Go!

Oh Pinky ! My dear creature!

What did they do to you?

Murderer!

- Kiss my ass! - Well, see you later.

I told him I was sorry.

- If only I knew... - Knew what?

That it was serious, you never speak!

- What are you talking about? - About the girl from Milan.

It's driving you crazy, I know these things, I could help you.

She has nothing to do with it, she's just a child.

It's not a girl, it's an older woman.

- Is she married? - Of course.

I know that blood is thicker than water.

I'm dying to know. Tell me! Come on!

You know that many wives turn to me. I'll give you evening classes.

Now you're married too, you should be on the side of the spouses.

I'm not interested, it's not just about my wife. Where are you going?

- Before you and Laura got together, she... - She?

This lady took me to the boat, and we went out to sea alone.

You witnessed this immoral act...

It went to his head, and she no longer even thinks of him.

It's a whore thing...

- Do you have a cigarette? I'm out. - No.

What an artist! The story of the boat, I can't believe it, I fell asleep...

...I hope not to come back, he's a good specialist

who likes to simmer his catch over a low heat. What a whore!

I'm out of cigarettes. Of course, the poor moron was in love.

- It can't be true... - Are you sure?

Look what I have to smoke.

Sure, one day he'll drag her with him but first he likes to have his fun.

- Seriously? - Try and find out who it is. Look at them!

I would love to see them when I return.

- I don't believe that story... - Come here! This story...

- You gave yourself to everyone? And Lino? - Yes, and his friends. They entered the cabin.

Did you fall out of bed this morning? Why don't you talk, do you have stomach ache?

No. I want to give you some advice. Be careful not to see your brother.

He makes things ugly when he gets angry. Avoid scandal.

What did I say?

- If you say one word to me, I'll hit you... - Lino!

Let's go...

What's so difficult... God!

Hello!

Hello! My brother is cuckold and happy.

- Did you say something? - No, nothing.

Go find Lino, I called him an hour ago but he doesn't come, he's disappeared.

It's exactly that. Right away!

- What do you mean? - Nothing...

Are you ready to leave?

Well...

Those two really make me sick.

I bet he gave you advice too.

Those two are two fools besides being three perverts.

You can't see inside his head very well...

Ole!

- A hundred liras! - Perverse and stupid!

One more week, my dear, I can't take any more.

Now go away. That's enough.

Bravo!

We could change the size of the uniform.

Instead of wasting money on the maid's outfit so that you can't see her legs,

I'm going to replace the maid to one with less attractive legs.

- Sandro, go out for a bit so I can change. - Why? You can do it like last time.

- I'm not looking. - As you wish.

What are you doing, Sandro? Turn around!

- You are crazy! - Bitch!

How dare you?

It's not enough for me to tell you, Renzo says so. Your husband says so, so it's true.

- What are you talking about, are you crazy? - You do everyone.

With this fat pig, with Lino... I've heard everything.

Who do you think you are? Why not with me? Are you forbidden for minors?

- Is that what you believe? Oh my God! - Now you want to laugh?

What do you do at night, instead of sleeping, do you spy. Do you know it's not attractive?

But who is spying? I can hear you when you breathe.

Do you think I'm deaf?

Excuse me, Sandro!

You know Sandro, all that you have heard is a kind of game.

People sit together and talk about various things

to make life more interesting.

I don't know how to explain, even if I say all this.

- Do you understand? - Yes, yes, do you think I'm stupid?

- What a crazy day! - If you don't like it, why come with us?

- Let's race! - The last receives a forfeit.

Wait for me! Wait!

- You scared me! - Can I talk to you?

- I have to tell you something important. - Something beautiful?

- Bitch, bitch... - What are you doing? Let go!

- You're a total bitch... - And you're a big jerk!

How can you say that to me? I will never speak to you again.

Stupid, I said this as a joke, to make you feel better.

How amusing! Have fun by yourself!

Everyone says such things to you, idiot. You really don't know a thing!

- Sandro, I have to talk to you! - It's late!

- Just a little bit. - Okay.

Sandro, you told me you can hear everything in your room, right?

You should move to another room.

I can't say to Renzo: Please don't make love tonight, Sandro hears us.

And even if I don't say anything, with the names that...

You understand, right?

Since I know you hear everything, I'm a little ashamed.

What can I do?

The great philosopher Kant reasoned:

Between wealth and poverty, poverty is preferable, wealth is not discussed.

It's like water into wine, suddenly!

By the way, guys, I'm worried. I have to make some introductions.

You know my wife, the Countess.

It's hot today. The last saying is true, about fooling the suckers.

He was an old...

- He is crazy! What did I say? - Nothing! He always does that.

He screams like an idiot.

Shit, he fell!

What a whack on the ass...

It hurts!

- Take it easy, be careful. - Let's bathe him in the sea.

The assholes!

- You need a lover. - And you need a pair of horns.

It's written in the newspaper. Some women's excessive fondness for animals

hides a deep sexual disorder.

You're the only animal that should pay more attention

instead of reading those pornographic obscenities!

Edwige!

Edwige, your panties!

Look at this!

It's not a house, it's a hospice.

- Hello? - Sandro, it's Renzo.

Do you want to speak with Laura? She's upstairs getting dressed, I'll call her.

No, I don't have time, I'm expected at a business dinner.

What should I tell her?

Tell her I'm sorry, but I can't get home tonight.

- I should have called before but... - What?

I'll call tomorrow and explain everything, you understand?

- Should I call her? - No! Send her a kiss.

Bye, Sandrino!

Oh, I'd dressed elegantly for him.

Do you want to go to a party with me?

- Do you want to go with an old woman like me? - Don't talk nonsense.

I'll go and change. I'll be back in a minute.

I'm a little ashamed, it's the first time I've lied to my wife since my marriage.

You are more beautiful now.

I remember everything exactly like it was yesterday, and it's been such a long time.

July 1950, what a summer!

It was winter, November 1951.

Are you sure?

Perhaps...

- Tell me about your wife? - Laura?

A quiet person who believes in me as if I was an angel.

A great girl who doesn't give me a headache, like you said.

You said what you thought.

- Finally! - It's Madame Laura's panties!

- What is it, imbecile? - I thought you were a woman!

- What is it? - Briefs.

Can't you use a normal pair that all men use?

But dad, it's fashionable, they're French!

It's fashionable for girls. Stop calling me dad.

My sons are real men! That's what I care for your fashion!

This shows they are good quality.

Stop that!

You know I love you...

- You are beautiful! - I didn't say anything bad!

Where does he put his hand? Where do you put your hand?

And what is he looking at? She didn't wear a bra...

I must be patient this evening!

- Hi, Rosy, how are you? - So so, but you?

Excuse me! Hi Sandro!

- Look at that imbecile! - Are you still mad at me?

Nothing special and you?

I wanted to talk about that night you jumped on me...

- No thanks! - Thanks for what?

I don't feel like dancing tonight. I have a headache. Excuse me.

- Rosy! - What's up with Sandro tonight?

He is completely mad. Do you want to dance with me?

What a sensual perfume you wear...

Do you see her? Sandrino Bellotto came with her.

What a piece! She's his sister.

She has two balloons... I still have a pain in my chest.

- Did you dance with her? - Yes, didn't you dance with her?

I danced with her and caressed her lower back all the time.

You know that my friend is jealous of me.

- Do you want to dance? - No, I want to go.

- It's not midnight yet. - Okay.

- You're leaving? - Excuse me!

Stop, do you understand?

You've been behaving odd all night, are you uncomfortable with them?

It bothers me that you gossip with everyone and let them touch your buttocks like a whore.

- But Sandro... - Yes, like a prostitute.

Renzo is not what you think, instead he would have slapped you.

- What are you talking about? - Leave me alone!

- Are you crying, Sandrino? - Crying?

It's too much, it's too much...

Sandrino...

Are you jealous?

My God!

Dear Renzo, I betrayed your trust.

Dear Renzo,

it happened, Renzo...

I had your wife...

well almost.

- Hello? - Speak!

- Hello, it's Bellotto Renzo. - Hi, Renzo.

- Who is this? Hello, I can't hear. - I can't speak too loud, everyone will hear.

- Hello! - I need to tell you something, Renzo.

Is that you, Sandrino? I can't hear anything.

- Renzo, I... - What happened?

I kissed Laura.

You kissed Laura and you called me at this hour to tell me that?

Didn't I tell her I was busy at a business dinner?

What are you saying! I kissed her on the mouth, I put my tongue in her mouth.

I know her, I understand! Are you with her?

- No! Laura, your wife! - I don't understand what you want.

- Your wife... - Did you put your hand like I told you?

- I told you I kissed her. - And she stayed?

- First she stayed, then she fled. - Keep calm, she's dying to be touched.

Listen to me, I'm calling the oracle. You put your hand on her ass,

and at the first opportunity you attack below the belt. You understand?

Call me whenever you want, I'm here but not now, it bothers me.

I kissed Laura. Kiss my ass!

Calm down, Sandrino! You understood?

Sandrino... Hello!

That child... I never have cigarettes.

Sandro, if you are a man of courage, tell your brother you're not interested.

It doesn't interest me.

Hi Sandro! I feel so sleepy...

I have a headache... What did you give me to drink last night?

I don't remember anything after we arrived at the party.

What time did we get back?

Hope I didn't do something stupid. When I have a drink...

- Aren't you coming to the beach? - No, I want to sleep all day.

- Shut the door, please. - Okay.

- Sandro! - Hi! How's things?

- Can I choose an album? - Of course!

- What happened last night? - About what?

You were a little weird.

I know when I drink a little I do some stupid things.

- You're not mad at me anymore? - No, why?

- For the other night. - That was stupid.

I wanted to say...

You don't have to...

I wanted to tell you...

- What are we doing tonight? - A night at the club after a 6 hour drive...

- The packet is empty. - You won't smoke anymore!

Yes.

- Where are you going? - To steal some cigarettes from Sandro.

Renzo!

Renzo!

Renzo!

Renzo!

- Where are you? - What?

I called you, didn't you hear? - When?

- A minute ago. Didn't you hear me? - No! What did you want?

I... Nothing!

Why come here to tell me you called me and then say you didn't want anything?

Look at the son of a bitch...

- Stuck with adhesive tape... - Should I call to say we're leaving?

Well, if we stay here you will mope.

Why don't you tell Sandrino to come with us? I find it brutish not to invite him.

- Do you think he'll have fun with us? - You know he's not a child anymore.

Thanks brother!

- It was the end of the world. - What do you mean? - I'll explain later.

It was a kind of experiment...

He tries to bend with both hands and fails, then writes in his diary...

I tried to bend it with both hands and failed.

The experiment must be done with both hands. This time successfully. Let's write...

What are you talking about? I don't understand.

Don't interrupt me, darling, I must continue. We'll talk later!

Try 50 years of experience to check your diary and write...

Do you ever laugh? You are always tense...

And he wrote: Finally with both hands I succeeded.

- I don't see what's funny. - I'm done, dear...

I don't understand why he doubted you.

My wife is an angel, she knows nothing.

I can't explain clearly now, there's a child present.

- The penis, countess, the penis! - He's a precocious child...

Ah... got it!

What happened to this madman? What hit him on the head? I'll show him!

Leave him alone. You treated him like a child and it upset him, with good reason.

Excuse me.

- I'm very angry with him. - Children are susceptible.

Let me tell you a story too. He's a doctor...

Doctors make me piss myself... Urologists!

- What are you talking about? - I've been at table with idiots.

The disco is where all the idiots come.

I agree, but he doesn't have to behave like that.

Those idiots didn't make me laugh when I was in 9th grade, imagine now.

Aren't you exaggerating a little? You drank some whiskey.

The drink had no effect.

Do you know you dance well?

Sandro, you can't hear anything from your room. I checked today.

How did you hear us? Did you stick your ear to the wall?

Promise me you won't do it again. Please!

Enough, I'm a little tired, let's go back to the table.

- How could he say that! The penis countess! - Drive safely, Renzo.

In front of two ladies... He always has a dirty mouth.

I only said he has nerve with his elders, even with us.

But you don't think about it! He's not a child anymore!

Now you see, he's a man.

Don't look at me like that. I can't drive anymore.

- I'm looking out for him. - Give him the beating he deserves.

Oh, it's not true, it's not true!

- Where did you go? - I walked for a bit.

- A walk... - I was hot and couldn't sleep.

You were with this woman. Tell me what you did?

- Leave me in peace. - Not yet? Are you awaiting your military service?

You're not saying you were serenading at 3 this morning?

If you need me, I can help you

but right now I'm screwed.

I don't know why but I'm always thirsty afterwards.

- What's wrong, darling? - Nothing.

Stop feeling so sad, I'm not going to war.

Come on! Next week I'm on vacation and we'll be together.

- I love you! - What did you say?

Nothing, bye!

- Are you teaching me to swim? - No.

- Do you want to go skating? - No.

- Let's go! - Where?

I don't know. Let's walk a bit.

- Just the two of us. - I hope you're not laughing at me.

- No, I'm serious. I like being with you. - So let's go.

Idiot! Did you laugh at me? I'm going to break your neck!

- Leave me alone! - Motherfucker!

- Give me that! - Help me!

I'll show you who Count Zagaria is!

- Come here, idiot! - Help me!

If you fuck my wife again I'll bust your balls.

No! Not the balls!

I will eat you.

I didn't do anything. Have pity!

What happened?

I don't know how he knew his wife was in love with bodybuilding.

Intense bodybuilding! Ouch!

Why don't they let her go with you?

We can go to the cinema, but not after 11pm, it's late.

You can have a good time with a girl, but not after 11pm.

- So you want me to accompany you? - Only to the cinema entrance.

After that you can go home if you want.

- Ah, thanks a lot! - I understand!

Alright, I'll do you a favour.

If someone sees you, what do you say?

Pardon! It's ok, I've seen this movie before.

Come with us, it'll be a pleasure.

Three tickets!

- Colonel! - At your service!

Madame asks if you took the dog to pee.

- Where are you? - I'm on the terrace, Colonel.

She wants to take him for a walk on a leash.

I want to see your face, we talk like Romeo and Juliet.

- But I don't understand... - I know, but try to make a little effort,

you can show your legs!

I can't do it, sir. Watch out!

This is a warning from heaven.

I swear I won't do anything to the dog again.

What do you mean, you don't know if you can come? Wait a minute.

Renzo, I'm tired of staying here with these two old men.

I can't, I'm bored!

Renzo, try to understand!

No, come tomorrow. What do I care if it's hot?

Yes, yes, okay.

Yes, yes! Bye!

What to do? What to do? What to do?

There's a noise on the left wheel, I don't know what it is.

It's nothing. But I don't mean to be rude. Maintaining a car costs a lot of money.

Do you want to go for a drink? Although I don't think you're in the mood.

You seem sad tonight.

My stomach is heavy, maybe I ate too much tonight.

- You have to excuse me. - No need to apologise, Renzo.

I'm glad to see a man happy and in love.

- I think I gave you good advice, didn't I? - Yes. No...

Not exactly. We haven't been married five months yet.

You mean we're still waiting five months?

Thanks! You are very understanding.

Thank you for dinner... and for helping to enlighten me.

- What did you discover? - Nothing! It doesn't matter.

- Bye! - Bye!

- Hello, Madame. - Hello, Edwige.

Is the Colonel still asleep?

This morning I almost broke the Colonel's head with a flowerpot.

- And Sandro, is he up yet? - No, he's still in bed.

I'll go shopping, if you need anything...

No thanks.

What? Can't you knock before you walk into someone else's room?

Why, do you knock on the door when you enter other people's rooms?

- What were you reading? - That's my business.

Tell me the title. Is it a horticulture manual?

I want to see!

- Give me that! - Let go!

- Give me that! - Let go!

Let me see!

The mother superior told me to take off my clothes...

and she hugged me in her arms repeating: my poor child...

It belongs to a friend of mine, he took it from his father's library.

Without realising that I was completely on top of her

and she wrapped her legs around me.

- What nonsense! - What crap? It's a French classic.

- A classic! - Give it to me!

I'll give it to your dad so he can know what kind of books you read.

- Yes? Are you gonna tell him how you got it? - Sandro!

- Give me the book! - Stop it, it's absurd!

- It's my book. - It's my fault, I allowed you too much.

- The book! - You're not even listening to me.

Why did you come to my room?

You don't understand? Let me tell you what I said before.

- I saw... - Nobody can talk to you, you stupid brat.

- I am neither a child nor stupid. - That's true! Excuse me!

- Take your book and leave! - You kissed me.

- I kissed you like a sister. - Did you let me caress you like a sister?

I was hoping you understood, I didn't mean...

Please, Sandrino, I know this is hard for you. Excuse me!

Excuse me? Liar! Liar!

- Renzo is right, you're a whore. - You know I'll call your dad.

Call him! They all left.

Renzo!

- Now you will see... - I don't care!

Is there anyone at home? Laura!

What a welcome after 6 hours on the road! Laura!

The coast is clear, go.

Laura, if you let him touch you again I'll kill myself.

Don't talk nonsense!

- Are you there, Laura? - Are you back, Renzo?

No, I'm still on the road!

Excuse me, darling! I didn't hear because of the water.

At last! I woke early to get here at this time.

Renzo, why don't we leave now?

You're kidding? Finally I can stay with you for two weeks

and you want to drive to God knows where?

We're happy here and it didn't cost a penny. What more do you want?

What's wrong? Is there something wrong?

- Mom and dad don't treat you well? - No. I just wanted it to be the two of us.

We have all winter to be together. All our lives.

I am dead tired. I would like to take a bath.

What's this? Alfred de Musset "Gamiani"!

It's a French classic. I'll go and get the suitcases.

No, I'll go.

- Do you have a weekly cycle? - I just don't feel like it this one time.

What's this? Last night you were crying: come quickly, I can't take it anymore...

My little flower is sad.... Isn't she sad now?

- Speak softly, calmly. - How to stay calm?

I spend the whole week without pleasure, nothing!

After many temptations, I should have a halo like Saint Anthony.

Leave me alone! Leave me.

Forgive me my love...

You know I didn't mean...

- What was that? - Nothing! Just the wind.

What words were you saying earlier? It sounded like another person talking.

- It was nothing... - Come on, say them one more time.

You don't believe it, but I will do it. This is how you will learn.

You will feel guilty all your life for my death.

Yes, cry, but it's too late.

Hold on to my lifeless body.

It annoys me...

Shout! Scream! Do you feel guilty and remorseful?

I'm dead, there's nothing you can do.

I think I will give up...

He didn't even touch his bed.

My God, what happened to my son?

- Was he kidnapped? - Who would have kidnapped this bastard?

I knew it would happen one day. That's what happened to this asshole.

He fled with Banino, I'm going to kill him.

- What's going on? - My son didn't come home.

- Did you inform the police? - Yes, and the fire brigade...

For that bastard we should notify the morality brigade!

- Do something, Renzo! - Calm down! Don't be hysterical.

I know where he went.

The last time I caught him coming home at three in the morning.

- God, my child at three in the morning... - Saint Joseph!

Don't blaspheme! What was baby doing at that time?

Mom, can't you understand? Your baby has grown up.

Have you decided to call the police or should I?

The police must have gone crazy with her. But where are you going? Where are you going?

- You really don't understand anything? - Good day, Madam.

The poor man? Why poor?

Speak clearly, son. You're going to kill me, speak!

- But her husband, no! - What? What husband?

The husband of the woman Sandro is with now.

A real woman? With boobs? Do you realise what you're saying?

- Sandrino is with one of these... - Have you started counting them, dad?

Thank you, Lord!

- Don't cry! - You gave me the most beautiful comfort

of my life.

- Lino, Lino, have you seen Sandro? - He is sleeping now...

He didn't sleep at home, maybe something happened. Give me the key to the cabin.

I want to see if his clothes are there, then we'll look for him.

Maybe one of your friends saw him.

I don't have any friends. For me this beach is a disaster.

Sandro!

Little rascal!

The fear I had... My baby...

Idiot!

Never do that again. Don't you think of others, huh?

- Lino! Have you seen my wife? - Yes, she's in the cabin.

- Do you need a bathing suit to look for her? - What is the family council this morning?

Laura!

Laura!

Renzo, he's here.

- You didn't answer. Don't you feel well? - I felt weak, but I'm fine now.

- If you need help, we're all here. - Open up, darling!

- Open! - Everything is explained, he is with a woman.

There's a big mess here. I'll get things in order and come at once.

- Are you sure you're okay, Lauretta? - I'm fine, I'll be there in a minute.

You see? She feels good. Better to think about our baby.

What madness!

- Now you should go tell them. - Why?

What do you mean 'why'? You don't just disappear like in the stories.

Not quite! That's how I got in without the key.

And that's where I'm going to leave. You won't tell?

Alright!

Give me a cigarette.

I hope there were no complications, he's an expert.

- Like I said, he seems to be an expert. - Be careful how you speak, son.

Look!

How can you spend so much time with a whore!

Please, Renzo!

What did I do?

- How are you, darling? - God, look at my boy!

Sandro, where were you all night?

Everyone needs to know he didn't sleep at home for one night?

Where were you? I worried all night!

Didn't you think about your mother at all. You are so selfish.

Do you let your family know whenever you are shaking your head.

What? By mistake I slapped you in the face after 30 years of marriage.

There are men who slap women every night!

Let's go!

This calls for a celebration!

It's like a wedding...

Catch! Stop saying your brother doesn't think of you!

You still need the warmth of your family, huh?

Now he plays with dolls that are full of life...

Come on, open! A golden cigarette case!

I officially declare that my brother started smoking and didn't tell anyone!

- You have become a man. - Open it!

A dedication is written inside.

Read it aloud.

For Sandro, from his brother Renzo, the fateful day he became a man.

To the health of the ex-virgin!

Too bad...

Laura! Toast the new man of the house.

- I forgot the most important person. - Who?

The great absentee!

Finally you laugh. Now the world still has a cuckold.

I would pay to see him with a girl for two minutes.

Let's go for him too. Come here, Sandro.

"Until his horns fall off..." as Orlando Briosso said!

Cheers!