Original subtitles

Hon, are you awake?

Hon?

Are you awake, babe?

Yeah.

I just can't fall asleep.

Shocking.

What's up?

I'm just... I'm thinking about the movie tonight.

How she had to choose between her job and moving to be with him and his kid.

Not just her job, but her whole life, her home, and moving to a new country.

I think about myself in that position, and I play it through in my head, and I

just don't know what I would do.

That would be a tough choice.

Maybe it would be better for the kid.

Maybe her making that change would be the right thing to do.

But I'm sure whatever they did, they would make it work.

Right, babe?

Yeah, you're probably right.

Is that it?

Yeah.

That's it.

You know, babe, we don't have to do this if you don't want to.

What? No.

I do.

I really want to be a dad.

I want us to be dads.

Because nothing has gone into escrow yet, so we can... No.

I'm just thinking about the movie.

Okay. That's it.

I'm glad we got to do our date night tonight. I'm excited for tomorrow.

Me too.

I have to get some sleep.

Do you remember how they said they hadn't gotten a single night together

their twins were born?

Yeah.

Doesn't that scare you?

I mean, it's already hard enough for us to find one night a week to just watch a

movie together.

It's just gonna get so much harder.

Well, I guess it might.

I know it will. Of course it will.

But we talked about this.

We have plenty of people who are happy to baby fit. We won't be doing this

alone.

That's true.

What am I saying?

Wow.

We're really going to do this.

Only if you really want to.

You keep saying that.

I do.

But it's really big, you know? Yeah, I know.

I'm sorry, I... I just need to go

to the bathroom.

Are there things you feel like you haven't done before we wanted to have

Baby, we need to go to bed.

I know.

Do you? Because it feels like you don't think we've got a big day tomorrow. Yes,

I remember that we have the all day tomorrow, Chris. I didn't forget that.

can we go to bed, please?

Can you answer my question, please? Do you think this has anything to do with

signing the contract with the gestational carrier tomorrow? Why do you

bringing up the all day?

I'm not talking about the all day. I asked you a question.

Okay.

What was it?

Don't you feel like there were things that you wanted to have done before we

kids?

Well, I wanted to have a bigger career by now.

But we talked about this, hon. If we don't do this now, maybe we never will.

know, I know, but... Or like, aren't there all these things that we haven't

talked about that we want to be able to talk about before we don't have any time

together anymore?

Like what?

I don't know!

There are a lot of things.

I've always liked the molding in this room. If we ever renovate a house, I

to use molding like that.

For example.

Okay, I like that.

There are a lot of things like that.

And more that I feel like I don't even know about yet.

We have our whole lives for that, hon. So why do I feel like we need to do this

now before everything changes? Okay, calm down. You're doing this again.

I am not.

Doing anything, Chris, I am having a feeling, okay?

And... Okay, so what do you want to do?

I want to... I... I... Okay, okay.

Come here.

Come here with me.

Sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

What are you scared upon?

Are you scared of the kid?

Yeah.

No.

No, not the kid. It's just...

else.

There are these times in your life that are before and after these big, huge

changes that make everything different.

And I would like a graduation or when we moved or this.

There are only so many of them in a person's life. And we're hurtling

what might be one of the last ones for us.

Not hurtling, but very slow.

Like the Titanic, and... I just feel like we only have so much time, you

We only have so much time before it happens, and then it's all after.

We will... You... I... There won't be any other time before than right now,

and there's not much before left.

So... I want things to be different.

I want things to change. I'm not exactly happy with how things are now.

And you going down this rabbit hole like this, I don't know how to feel about

that. Chris, I am not spiraling.

I am having feelings, and I am trying to communicate them to you, all right? I

thought you might be feeling at least a little bit the same way, but apparently

I'm wrong. Basically keep saying you don't want to do this over and over

How am I supposed to take that? That is not what I'm saying.

I'm saying the exact opposite. I'm just all so scared.

Hun, my God, I'm sorry. I guess I shouldn't have said anything.

You're not happy with how things are right now?

Well, honestly, Hun, no, I'm not.

I mean, we're doing fine, but I'm not exactly doing what I want to be doing in

my work.

I feel like I've been pounding my head against a wall for the last five years,

never getting up to the next level.

Part of me feels like this will at least be moving forward in some way.

You know we can't have a kid to make ourselves feel better. Yes, I know.

That's not why I'm doing it, but still.

I thought you felt good about moving to this new firm.

I do.

And they've always said there's upward mobility, and I think they're sincere.

But it's not here yet, and after...

What happened last time, I'm not sure that I can trust it.

Baby, you're not going to get let go again like that.

Well, I wasn't good enough to survive the downsides last time, so why would it

be any different that time?

You're very good.

Your career will come for you. I know it.

So, I'm looking forward to the next big change.

Our big change. I don't want to have to worry if you're not going to be able to

do this because you're freaking out every step of the way.

It is completely normal for me to be a little bit terrified, Chris.

I'm sorry that I'm actually trying to communicate it instead of pretending it

isn't there.

Okay.

Okay.

I was scared.

Really scared when I went off to college.

I would get this anxiety in my stomach any time I thought about moving in or

being in the dorms or meeting so many new people.

I thought I would end up alone in this new place and that would

prove that I had always been someone who was meant to end up alone.

And that lasted from the end of senior year all the way to the day I was

supposed to move in.

And mom found me sitting on my bed stalling.

I decided I wouldn't go.

But she got me up.

She drove me to the dorm. She helped me move in one thing at a time.

And while I was doing that, I met some new people.

And then that night we all hung out in the lounge.

talked about our majors and what to do on campus and moving in.

And all of a sudden, sitting in that lounge with these new friends, I was

off to the next part of my life.

All the fears, everything that I was afraid of just vanished.

You're right, there was a before and an after, but I think the after had just

been waiting to happen all along.

And I think, if you trust it, that will happen here too.

Is that the kind of thing you wanted to talk about?

Yeah.

Actually, yeah.

I think part of me doesn't want anything to change.

There's so much of me that's excited for the change.

I'm jealous of straight couples.

Sometimes it feels like this would be easier if it was a surprise.

For you, it probably would be.

You're going to be such a good dad.

I hope I'm a good dad.

You already are.

What if I'm not?

Well, then I'll divorce you and find a better one.

You could never survive without me.

Maybe that's true.

Then I guess we're stuck together.

What do you think her name should be?

Her?

Oh, there, I guess. Oh.

I'm sorry.

I can't help but picture a girl.

What do you think?

Hayley.

Or... Hayley.

Me too.

Like the leaves.