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♪ Who put the "glad" in gladiator? ♪
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♪ Hercules ♪
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♪ Whose daring deeds are great theater? ♪
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♪ Hercules ♪
5
00:00:16,332 --> 00:00:17,333
♪ Is he bold? ♪
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♪ No one braver ♪
7
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♪ Is he sweet? ♪
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♪ Our favorite flavor, Hercules ♪
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-♪ What a guy ♪-♪ Hercules ♪
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-♪ Ask his friends ♪-♪ Hercules ♪
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♪ Honey, they won't lie ♪
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-♪ Hercules ♪-♪ Ahh, Hercules ♪
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♪ Hercules ♪
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♪ Hercules ♪
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-♪ Come on ♪-♪ No one's fool ♪
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♪ Now the boy's in school ♪
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♪ He's in trainin' ♪
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♪ Sun is shinin' ♪
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♪ And the nicest guy ♪
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♪ No complainin' ♪
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♪ He was a no one ♪
22
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♪ Zero, zero, give him a quick deed ♪
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♪ He's our hero ♪
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♪ He's the most likely to succeed ♪
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♪ From zero to hero ♪
26
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♪ Herc is a hero ♪
27
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♪ He'll be a hero ♪
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Wait and see!
29
00:01:01,500 --> 00:01:03,291
[Bob reading]
30
00:01:10,083 --> 00:01:11,834
[lively chatter]
31
00:01:14,750 --> 00:01:16,041
[laughter]
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00:01:16,125 --> 00:01:19,041
Hestia, what a marvelous party
you've thrown us.
33
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The goddess of the hearth
has truly outdone herself.
34
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[burps]
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Shh! Bacchus! The soufflé!
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The slightest noise will make it fall.
37
00:01:28,709 --> 00:01:31,333
Oh, I do wish Zeus would get home.
38
00:01:31,417 --> 00:01:34,625
He said he was only going out
for a quick smite.
39
00:01:34,709 --> 00:01:39,166
Ha ha! I'll bet he's having hephaestus
craft you a jeweled treasure
40
00:01:39,250 --> 00:01:41,125
for your anniversary.
41
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But act surprised. Men like that.
42
00:01:43,834 --> 00:01:46,375
Ah. Beautiful smiting today, Big Z.
43
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You know, you've given new meaning
to the term "lightning round." Ha ha!
44
00:01:50,458 --> 00:01:53,458
Whoa! Snazzy shindig!
45
00:01:53,542 --> 00:01:56,333
Say, honey, isn't
your weekly coffee klatch
46
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getting a little extravagant?
47
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Coffee klatch?
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-Oh.
-[gasping]
49
00:02:01,000 --> 00:02:02,667
Ha, ha.
50
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You... do know what this occasion is?
51
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Occasion?
52
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Ha! Of course I do.
53
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Ehh... is it something special?
54
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The occasion... honey...
55
00:02:14,750 --> 00:02:16,917
is our anniversary.
56
00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:18,750
Ouch.
57
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Ooh-ooh. The party is heating up.
58
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Just the way I like it.
59
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Anniversary! Yes! Ha!
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I knew that.
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Did you, now.
62
00:02:28,166 --> 00:02:31,083
Well, naturally. As lord of the universe,
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I know everything. Heh heh.
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00:02:33,709 --> 00:02:37,542
You, Zeuster, have got
that omniscient shtick down.
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Ha. So, uh, what did you get her?
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00:02:40,208 --> 00:02:42,542
Uh... get?
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00:02:42,625 --> 00:02:45,667
Yeah. Uh, an-anniversary,
uh, gift?
68
00:02:45,750 --> 00:02:47,917
Oh. Um, I, uh...
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I must've left it at my other... thing.
You know.
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In your other... Universe?
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[thunder rumbles]
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[gulps] Let's blow this joint.
Know what I mean?
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00:03:03,750 --> 00:03:04,834
[thunder]
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00:03:04,917 --> 00:03:06,333
[gulps]
75
00:03:08,625 --> 00:03:10,458
No, no, no. Don't leave yet.
76
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No one's even tasted my Ambrosia soufflé.
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It's a good thing.
78
00:03:15,250 --> 00:03:16,125
So let me get this straight.
79
00:03:16,208 --> 00:03:18,458
The all-knowing, all-powerful king
of the gods
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00:03:18,542 --> 00:03:22,125
cannot remember his own anniversary.
Smooth.
81
00:03:22,208 --> 00:03:24,959
I was busy smiting Smyrna!
82
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-[thunder rumbles]
-I did not forget!!
83
00:03:27,667 --> 00:03:28,542
Ohhh...
84
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Hmm. Marital discord.
85
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Always good for a little...
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chuckle. Hmm-hmm.
87
00:03:36,875 --> 00:03:38,417
[birds chirping]
88
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Ohh! What's keepin' Dad?
89
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I beseeched him five minutes ago.
90
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Father! I need to see you!
91
00:03:47,208 --> 00:03:48,792
Yes, yes. What is it?
92
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Uh...well... Happy anniversary.
93
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I-I got this for you and Mom.
94
00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:55,542
Oh. Uh... uh, thank you, son.
95
00:03:55,625 --> 00:03:57,667
That's very thoughtful.
96
00:03:57,750 --> 00:03:59,917
Well! Would you look at that.
97
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It's a, uh...
98
00:04:01,834 --> 00:04:03,542
Obviously, it's a...
99
00:04:03,625 --> 00:04:05,291
Large scroll, huh?
100
00:04:05,375 --> 00:04:08,375
Not just any scroll. It's a scrap scroll
101
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with all the special
occasions in your lives--
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The day you and Mom met,
103
00:04:12,542 --> 00:04:15,834
your first date,
last year's wedding anniversary.
104
00:04:15,917 --> 00:04:18,207
I made that page really flashy.
105
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-Why? So I won't forget it?
-Oh...
106
00:04:20,375 --> 00:04:22,375
Well, no. I-I-- I didn't mean--
107
00:04:22,457 --> 00:04:25,332
Oh, look. And there's Hera's birthday.
108
00:04:25,417 --> 00:04:27,457
Thought I'd forget that, too, did ya?
109
00:04:27,542 --> 00:04:28,750
No! I-I was just--
110
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I expected better from you, young man.
111
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But I'm sure your mother
will love it.
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[sighs]
113
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That coulda gone better.
What'd you give him, cash?
114
00:04:41,792 --> 00:04:45,625
No. I don't get it.
I thought he'd be impressed.
115
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Kid, you never know what's gonna
please parents. Heh.
116
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And you've gotta impress the head honcho
of the cosmos.
117
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He said he-he expected better of me.
118
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What do you think he meant by that?
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Who knows? Maybe you're
not becomin' a hero fast enough for him.
120
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Your folks have been holdin'
that spare room for you a long time.
121
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Tell me about it.
122
00:05:02,917 --> 00:05:05,625
Phil, it's time for me
to do something big,
123
00:05:05,709 --> 00:05:08,291
-something that'll make my parents proud.
-Like what?
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Like my first official hero labor,
125
00:05:10,291 --> 00:05:12,959
one sanctioned
by the Heroes' Union Local 839.
126
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Whoa. You sure you're ready, kid?
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Those union labors are tough.
128
00:05:16,500 --> 00:05:18,500
That's why they make you a hero.
129
00:05:18,582 --> 00:05:20,917
Well, that's what I've been training for,
so let's do it.
130
00:05:21,000 --> 00:05:23,750
Uh, if that's what you want.
But let's start small--
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Gettin' rid of king diomedes'
man-eating mares.
132
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Sure. No pro-- man-eating?
133
00:05:28,834 --> 00:05:32,166
And an official hero labor calls
for a big send-off party...
134
00:05:32,250 --> 00:05:33,667
Man-eating?
135
00:05:33,750 --> 00:05:37,041
So all your friends can say good-bye,
in case you don't make it.
136
00:05:37,125 --> 00:05:38,500
They eat men?
137
00:05:39,166 --> 00:05:41,250
[Hades] Toothbrush, mouthwash, razor...
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00:05:41,332 --> 00:05:42,332
Ah.
139
00:05:42,417 --> 00:05:43,250
[sniffing]
140
00:05:43,332 --> 00:05:44,542
Mmm.
141
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Old spite, my personal favorite.
142
00:05:47,291 --> 00:05:49,582
Goin' on a vacation, your combustibleness?
143
00:05:49,667 --> 00:05:53,750
No! I am going to Mt. Olympus, boys.
And it's not a vacation.
144
00:05:53,834 --> 00:05:55,041
It's an errand of mercy.
145
00:05:55,125 --> 00:05:58,250
You see, Zeus and Hera, sadly,
are having a little tiff.
146
00:05:58,332 --> 00:06:00,250
They need comfort and support.
147
00:06:00,333 --> 00:06:02,041
And I'm gonna make sure
they don't get any!
148
00:06:02,125 --> 00:06:04,375
Oh, their lives [sing song]
are about to be ruined.
149
00:06:04,458 --> 00:06:08,333
And that will leave their darling
little son Hercules very vulnerable.
150
00:06:08,417 --> 00:06:11,834
Zeus, Hera, and Jerkules-- a triple play!
151
00:06:11,917 --> 00:06:14,709
Thank you very much!
I'm not leaving anything to chance.
152
00:06:14,792 --> 00:06:16,375
Or, worse, to you.
153
00:06:16,457 --> 00:06:18,291
I'm bringing in an expert.
154
00:06:18,375 --> 00:06:20,125
Huh? We're bein' replaced?
155
00:06:20,207 --> 00:06:21,750
That is correct, sirs.
156
00:06:21,834 --> 00:06:24,207
I've used you to attack Hercules
from the outside.
157
00:06:24,291 --> 00:06:26,457
This time I'm going to attack him
from the inside.
158
00:06:26,542 --> 00:06:28,331
[whistles]
159
00:06:28,332 --> 00:06:31,542
Could you lose the whistle?
It's really demeaning.
160
00:06:31,625 --> 00:06:34,625
Boys, meet my newest evil minion...
161
00:06:34,709 --> 00:06:35,792
Neurosis.
162
00:06:36,625 --> 00:06:38,750
I've got a little job for you.
163
00:06:38,834 --> 00:06:41,000
Uh-huh. Yeah, well, I mean, yeah, sure.
164
00:06:41,082 --> 00:06:43,332
I mean, hey, look. Look at me. I'm--
I'm-I'm flattered.
165
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I-I want to do it, but, hey, you know,
suppose I fail?
166
00:06:45,917 --> 00:06:48,166
I mean, then you'll hate me.
Of course, you know, if I succeed,
167
00:06:48,250 --> 00:06:50,000
you'll just expect even more of me
the next time.
168
00:06:50,082 --> 00:06:52,500
It's, uh... it's getting dark, isn't it?
169
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I... I don't know. Maybe it's just me,
but...
170
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[panting]
171
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Breathe. Breathe.
172
00:06:58,750 --> 00:07:00,166
[panting nervously]
173
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He's a mess!
174
00:07:01,792 --> 00:07:04,417
And he's going to mess
with Hercules' mind.
175
00:07:05,667 --> 00:07:07,959
[Zeus] Hera! Come out of there!
176
00:07:08,041 --> 00:07:10,041
You can't stay in there forever!
177
00:07:10,125 --> 00:07:13,834
[Hera]
I'm not coming out until you apologize!
178
00:07:13,917 --> 00:07:16,625
For being busy? Forget it!
179
00:07:19,667 --> 00:07:22,792
Zeus. Bro.
From god house to doghouse?
180
00:07:22,875 --> 00:07:24,834
This isn't a good time, Hades.
181
00:07:24,917 --> 00:07:28,582
Hey, I'm sure it isn't.
And that's why I'm here.
182
00:07:28,667 --> 00:07:30,082
What are you talking about?
183
00:07:30,166 --> 00:07:33,041
Hey. You're my brother. We're blood...
If I had any.
184
00:07:33,125 --> 00:07:36,125
It pains me to see you and Hera like this.
I wanna help.
185
00:07:36,207 --> 00:07:38,207
Well, maybe you can talk some sense
into her.
186
00:07:38,291 --> 00:07:40,834
We're supposed to be
at a party for Hercules,
187
00:07:40,917 --> 00:07:43,750
And she won't come out of her room
so I can tell her.
188
00:07:43,834 --> 00:07:46,166
Oh, I should just forget the party.
189
00:07:46,250 --> 00:07:48,332
I'm not in the mood, anyway.
190
00:07:48,417 --> 00:07:51,082
I'd probably just ruin it
for Hercules.
191
00:07:51,166 --> 00:07:54,082
I've got to work off some of this anger!
192
00:07:54,166 --> 00:07:56,125
Where are my thunderbolts?
193
00:07:58,667 --> 00:07:59,582
[Hades] Hera?
194
00:07:59,667 --> 00:08:01,834
Knocky-knocky.
195
00:08:01,917 --> 00:08:03,000
Hades?
196
00:08:03,083 --> 00:08:04,583
What are you doing here?
197
00:08:04,667 --> 00:08:06,333
Ah, I'm just keepin' you company,
198
00:08:06,417 --> 00:08:08,750
Now that my brother the brute left you.
199
00:08:08,834 --> 00:08:10,208
Left me?
200
00:08:10,291 --> 00:08:11,375
Where's he going?
201
00:08:11,458 --> 00:08:13,834
Oh, cloud hopping with Bacchus.
202
00:08:13,917 --> 00:08:16,207
Said he couldn't stand
being on the same cirrus with you.
203
00:08:16,291 --> 00:08:17,375
Can you imagine that?
204
00:08:17,457 --> 00:08:18,917
He said that?
205
00:08:19,000 --> 00:08:20,166
Oh, well, I'm sure he didn't mean it.
206
00:08:20,250 --> 00:08:23,082
I can't believe he said half
the terrible things he said about you.
207
00:08:23,166 --> 00:08:25,792
Wha... what terrible things?
208
00:08:25,875 --> 00:08:28,709
Let's put on some nectar. We'll talk, OK?
You got some decaf?
209
00:08:29,709 --> 00:08:31,250
[rock music playing]
210
00:08:31,332 --> 00:08:33,457
[lively conversation]
211
00:08:33,750 --> 00:08:35,417
[woman] This is going to be fantastic.
212
00:08:36,500 --> 00:08:39,917
So? Whaddya think, kid? Great send-off,
huh?
213
00:08:40,000 --> 00:08:42,417
Wow! You invited half of Athens.
214
00:08:42,500 --> 00:08:45,208
And half of olympus, too,
includin' your folks.
215
00:08:45,290 --> 00:08:47,417
Heh heh! This should impress them.
216
00:08:47,500 --> 00:08:49,208
My folks? They're coming here?
217
00:08:49,290 --> 00:08:51,834
Wow. They don't party
with mortals very often.
218
00:08:53,083 --> 00:08:54,750
I don't see 'em anywhere.
219
00:08:54,834 --> 00:08:56,333
They'll be here. Don't worry.
220
00:08:56,417 --> 00:08:58,165
Gods gotta make an entrance, ya know.
221
00:08:58,250 --> 00:09:00,500
[music plays at fast tempo]
222
00:09:01,875 --> 00:09:04,000
[music plays at slower tempo]
223
00:09:04,083 --> 00:09:06,375
[conversation has become less lively]
224
00:09:09,625 --> 00:09:11,750
[sighs] They're not coming.
225
00:09:11,834 --> 00:09:14,166
-Parents. Go figure.
-Who are you?
226
00:09:14,250 --> 00:09:16,291
Well, identity is
such a complicated issue.
227
00:09:16,375 --> 00:09:19,250
I mean, there's the "me"
I think I am, the "me" people see me as,
228
00:09:19,333 --> 00:09:22,291
And no two people see me the same way,
so I'm a multiple personality.
229
00:09:22,375 --> 00:09:23,375
It's huge.
230
00:09:23,458 --> 00:09:25,667
Uh... I just wanted your name.
231
00:09:25,750 --> 00:09:28,083
Neurosis. And you must
be the guest of honor--
232
00:09:28,166 --> 00:09:29,875
Hercules, hero-in-training.
233
00:09:29,959 --> 00:09:32,290
Although you shouldn't be so sure
about the hero part.
234
00:09:32,375 --> 00:09:33,834
Your parents aren't, apparently.
235
00:09:33,917 --> 00:09:36,040
-What do you mean by that?
-Ahh, parents expect us
236
00:09:36,125 --> 00:09:37,834
to make something of ourselves.
I mean,
237
00:09:37,917 --> 00:09:41,125
the pressure can be crippling.
But do they ever really believe in us?
238
00:09:41,208 --> 00:09:43,500
Ohhh... I'm beginning to wonder.
239
00:09:43,583 --> 00:09:45,250
[chomp chomp]
240
00:09:45,333 --> 00:09:47,000
Take you, for instance.
If your folks really thought
241
00:09:47,083 --> 00:09:50,583
you were ready to battle the man-eating
mares, wouldn't they be here for you?
242
00:09:50,667 --> 00:09:52,834
Talk about abandonment issues.
243
00:09:52,917 --> 00:09:54,583
[Hestia] Ladies, gentlemen,
244
00:09:54,667 --> 00:09:55,959
gods, and goddesses...
245
00:09:56,040 --> 00:09:57,875
attention.
246
00:09:57,959 --> 00:10:00,291
You've all been very patient waiting
247
00:10:00,375 --> 00:10:03,709
for two unfashionably late gods...
248
00:10:03,792 --> 00:10:05,750
who happen to be omniscient
249
00:10:05,834 --> 00:10:09,250
But can't remember what time
the party starts. Ha ha.
250
00:10:09,333 --> 00:10:11,750
So, without further ado,
251
00:10:11,834 --> 00:10:14,625
I present a scrummy
little dessert
252
00:10:14,709 --> 00:10:17,333
I whipped up for this special occasion.
253
00:10:18,500 --> 00:10:19,792
[man] Wow! Look at that!
254
00:10:19,875 --> 00:10:22,291
[excitement]
255
00:10:22,375 --> 00:10:26,542
And now if our guest of honor
would cut the first slice...
256
00:10:26,625 --> 00:10:29,750
[all] Go, Herc! Go, Herc! Go, Herc! Go!
257
00:10:31,041 --> 00:10:33,000
[chomp chomp]
258
00:10:34,583 --> 00:10:35,834
[crowd screaming]
259
00:10:35,917 --> 00:10:38,834
Another dessert ruined!
260
00:10:38,917 --> 00:10:41,208
You know, I just make it look easy.
261
00:10:42,542 --> 00:10:44,000
Ooh, bad break.
262
00:10:44,083 --> 00:10:46,834
Oh... and a bad omen,
when you think about it.
263
00:10:46,917 --> 00:10:48,500
What are you getting at now?
264
00:10:48,583 --> 00:10:50,375
Well, come on.
If you can't cut the cake,
265
00:10:50,458 --> 00:10:52,000
how you gonna cut the mustard?
266
00:10:52,083 --> 00:10:55,250
Or the mares, as the case may be.
Oh, boy.
267
00:10:55,333 --> 00:10:58,000
-I mean, just a thought. You know.
-Oh, man.
268
00:11:05,542 --> 00:11:07,625
Zeus, gosh, um,
269
00:11:07,709 --> 00:11:09,542
you must be tired after
all that venting, huh?
270
00:11:09,625 --> 00:11:11,375
You know what? I'll warm up
your sheet, too.
271
00:11:11,458 --> 00:11:13,000
What's the meaning of this?
272
00:11:13,083 --> 00:11:15,166
Hey, hey, I'm just the messenger, babe.
273
00:11:15,250 --> 00:11:17,500
Hera's orders. So you apologize, OK?
274
00:11:17,583 --> 00:11:18,917
Here's your little teddybolt.
275
00:11:19,000 --> 00:11:20,458
This is outrageous!
276
00:11:20,542 --> 00:11:22,834
I'm the lord of the universe!
277
00:11:22,917 --> 00:11:25,166
I'm not sleeping on that sofa.
278
00:11:25,250 --> 00:11:29,667
Oh, I should just apologize.
279
00:11:29,750 --> 00:11:31,166
Maybe I was wrong.
280
00:11:31,250 --> 00:11:33,290
Lord of the universe... Apologize?
281
00:11:33,375 --> 00:11:35,792
Are you kidding? Isn't that kinda showing
a sign of weakness?
282
00:11:35,875 --> 00:11:38,583
Take "omnipotent" off your business card,
babe.
283
00:11:38,667 --> 00:11:40,542
-You're right.
-Tell you what.
284
00:11:40,625 --> 00:11:42,834
Why don't you crash at my pad, huh?
285
00:11:42,917 --> 00:11:44,125
I know it's a little gloomy down there,
286
00:11:44,208 --> 00:11:47,458
but you need some,
if you'll pardon the pun, downtime.
287
00:11:47,542 --> 00:11:48,375
You know what I mean?
288
00:11:48,458 --> 00:11:52,083
Leave? That seems kind of extreme.
289
00:11:52,165 --> 00:11:53,458
Trust me, this'll help.
290
00:11:53,542 --> 00:11:54,959
Hey, and you know what?
291
00:11:55,040 --> 00:11:57,208
I'll stay here and I'll talk
some sense into her.
292
00:11:57,290 --> 00:12:02,208
Well, OK. Thanks, little brother.
293
00:12:02,291 --> 00:12:05,083
You are being sincere, aren't you?
294
00:12:05,166 --> 00:12:09,000
This had better not be
one of your evil schemes.
295
00:12:09,083 --> 00:12:10,375
Ouch. You know, it's that kind of attitude
296
00:12:10,458 --> 00:12:12,041
that gets you in jams like this.
297
00:12:12,125 --> 00:12:15,875
You need, really need, to work
on your people skills. OK?
298
00:12:15,959 --> 00:12:18,000
Uh, you're right.
299
00:12:18,083 --> 00:12:19,709
Sorry, Hades.
300
00:12:19,792 --> 00:12:21,250
Ahh, that's OK.
301
00:12:21,333 --> 00:12:23,542
Hey, takes a lot to make me hot.
302
00:12:24,792 --> 00:12:28,041
Ha ha. And I am just warming up.
303
00:12:28,125 --> 00:12:29,834
Ha ha ha!
304
00:12:29,917 --> 00:12:32,417
[horses neigh]
305
00:12:43,125 --> 00:12:45,834
So, this is the Prometheus Academy.
306
00:12:45,917 --> 00:12:47,208
Interesting. Wow.
307
00:12:47,290 --> 00:12:49,792
Hey, get out of my backpack,
would you?
308
00:12:49,875 --> 00:12:51,542
And what do you mean by "interesting"?
309
00:12:51,625 --> 00:12:54,917
Well, it's just that, come on,
isn't this a school for mortals?
310
00:12:55,000 --> 00:12:56,333
Well, yeah. So?
311
00:12:56,417 --> 00:12:58,083
"so"? Come on, what do you mean, "so"?
312
00:12:58,165 --> 00:13:00,041
So, if your parents were really interested
313
00:13:00,125 --> 00:13:01,625
in preparing you for a future on Olympus,
314
00:13:01,709 --> 00:13:02,834
don't you think they would have sent you
315
00:13:02,917 --> 00:13:04,875
to a school for gods? Come on.
316
00:13:04,959 --> 00:13:07,834
Oh, I-I never thought of it like that.
317
00:13:07,917 --> 00:13:10,375
Yeah, well, come on, I mean, I'm sure
there's a perfectly good explanation.
318
00:13:10,458 --> 00:13:11,542
You know, maybe they're just, uh,
319
00:13:11,625 --> 00:13:13,333
I don't know, covering their bets.
320
00:13:13,417 --> 00:13:14,250
Bets?
321
00:13:14,333 --> 00:13:15,208
Yeah, you know, maybe they're thinking
322
00:13:15,291 --> 00:13:17,166
that if you fail as a hero,
323
00:13:17,250 --> 00:13:20,375
then at least you're prepared for life
as a common mortal.
324
00:13:20,458 --> 00:13:22,208
You'll be fine. Or, uh, who knows?
325
00:13:22,291 --> 00:13:23,625
Maybe they secretly wanted a girl.
326
00:13:23,709 --> 00:13:25,250
But hey, what do I know? Look at me.
327
00:13:25,333 --> 00:13:27,792
They are disappointed with me.
328
00:13:29,834 --> 00:13:32,750
Wakey, wakey, eggs and bakey.
329
00:13:33,667 --> 00:13:35,458
Oh. Hades...
330
00:13:35,542 --> 00:13:37,165
Good morning.
331
00:13:38,208 --> 00:13:41,208
I wondered where Zeus slept last night.
332
00:13:41,290 --> 00:13:42,583
He never came to bed.
333
00:13:42,667 --> 00:13:43,542
Oh, actually, he never came home.
334
00:13:43,625 --> 00:13:44,500
That's where I slept. Toast?
335
00:13:44,583 --> 00:13:45,500
What?
336
00:13:45,583 --> 00:13:46,625
[sizzling]
337
00:13:46,709 --> 00:13:49,792
He can be such a big baby sometimes.
338
00:13:49,875 --> 00:13:53,750
When he gets home, we're going to have
a serious talk about this.
339
00:13:53,834 --> 00:13:55,959
He has to know he cannot
take me for granted.
340
00:13:56,040 --> 00:13:57,417
Good. Good for you.
341
00:13:57,500 --> 00:14:01,041
You know, I may be stepping
on your goddess-of-marriage toes here,
342
00:14:01,125 --> 00:14:04,291
But don't you think action
might speak louder than words?
343
00:14:04,375 --> 00:14:05,917
What kind of action?
344
00:14:06,000 --> 00:14:08,792
Maybe to appreciate you fully,
maybe Zeus needs to know
345
00:14:08,875 --> 00:14:11,792
what it's like to live without you,
346
00:14:11,875 --> 00:14:14,125
like, say, come home to an empty cloud.
347
00:14:14,208 --> 00:14:17,500
That seems rather extreme.
348
00:14:17,583 --> 00:14:21,417
True. True. But can Zeus not be
a little thick sometimes?
349
00:14:21,500 --> 00:14:22,917
No need to tell me.
350
00:14:23,000 --> 00:14:26,166
Hmm. Perhaps you're right.
351
00:14:26,250 --> 00:14:28,750
I'll just go and stay with my mother
for a few days.
352
00:14:28,834 --> 00:14:31,667
That should get his attention.
353
00:14:31,750 --> 00:14:34,375
Say hi to momsey for me. Ba-da-bing.
354
00:14:34,458 --> 00:14:36,583
I am smokin'.
355
00:14:42,458 --> 00:14:43,500
Aah!
356
00:14:43,583 --> 00:14:45,083
Wow, this is high up.
357
00:14:45,165 --> 00:14:46,333
Am I getting a nose bleed?
358
00:14:46,417 --> 00:14:47,833
Would you just go away?
359
00:14:47,834 --> 00:14:50,208
I got to tell you, heights really
bother me, man.
360
00:14:50,290 --> 00:14:51,333
One slip, ouch.
361
00:14:51,417 --> 00:14:53,792
Bones can snap like that
and take months to heal.
362
00:14:53,875 --> 00:14:55,040
If they set right.
363
00:14:55,125 --> 00:14:57,040
And if they don't, they're like
calcium time bombs
364
00:14:57,125 --> 00:14:58,250
waiting to snap again.
365
00:14:58,333 --> 00:15:00,500
But, hey, you know, you're the hero type.
366
00:15:00,583 --> 00:15:01,834
What do you care? Good luck.
367
00:15:01,917 --> 00:15:03,333
Whoa!
368
00:15:03,417 --> 00:15:04,417
Aah!
369
00:15:07,542 --> 00:15:09,792
Aah!
370
00:15:10,750 --> 00:15:12,542
What's with the swan dive, kid?
371
00:15:12,625 --> 00:15:14,917
Oh. I was pushed.
372
00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:17,583
Sure you were.
And if Pegasus was a man-eating mare,
373
00:15:17,667 --> 00:15:19,625
he'd be grazing on your hide right now.
374
00:15:20,583 --> 00:15:24,083
I was pushed. There's this guy
who keeps poppin' up. He's up--
375
00:15:24,166 --> 00:15:26,041
Hey, where'd he go?
376
00:15:26,125 --> 00:15:28,375
Herc, you got to keep your wits about you.
377
00:15:28,458 --> 00:15:29,917
You're enterin' the big leagues.
378
00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:31,917
Seein' things is not good.
379
00:15:32,040 --> 00:15:34,834
I'm not seeing things. I can do this.
380
00:15:38,125 --> 00:15:40,333
You, uh, wanted to see me, Hades?
381
00:15:40,458 --> 00:15:42,333
Didn't think I'd find you here.
382
00:15:42,417 --> 00:15:43,834
Hangin' for the weekend?
383
00:15:43,917 --> 00:15:46,667
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
A long weekend, yeah.
384
00:15:46,750 --> 00:15:48,125
My change-of-domain card.
385
00:15:48,208 --> 00:15:52,125
You're moving in
with Zeus and Hera? Kooky.
386
00:15:52,208 --> 00:15:54,583
Well, actually, I'm filling in.
387
00:15:54,667 --> 00:15:55,583
Ah, you might as well know.
388
00:15:55,667 --> 00:15:57,125
Zeus and Hera split.
389
00:15:57,250 --> 00:15:58,709
The cosmic couple?
390
00:15:58,792 --> 00:16:00,875
Booking a gig in divorce court?
391
00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:05,000
Yeah, I'm just sick about this.
Just sick about it.
392
00:16:05,083 --> 00:16:06,583
Hey, but whatcha gonna do?
Can't look back.
393
00:16:06,709 --> 00:16:07,917
Gotta keep the universe runnin'.
394
00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:10,667
So, call a meeting of the gods.
Need to powwow on this pronto, OK, babe?
395
00:16:21,375 --> 00:16:22,667
[roar]
396
00:16:24,458 --> 00:16:26,333
We need a bigger rope.
397
00:16:31,250 --> 00:16:34,250
How many man-eating mares
are in a herd, exactly?
398
00:16:34,333 --> 00:16:35,208
I don't know.
399
00:16:35,290 --> 00:16:37,792
Come on, what? A dozen?
Hundreds? Thousands?
400
00:16:37,917 --> 00:16:39,290
What's that little symbol for infinity?
401
00:16:39,375 --> 00:16:41,083
Whichever, you're outnumbered.
402
00:16:41,165 --> 00:16:44,750
[neighing]
403
00:16:44,875 --> 00:16:46,792
Oopsy. I don't like these odds.
404
00:16:46,875 --> 00:16:48,040
I'm outta here, man.
405
00:16:48,165 --> 00:16:49,165
Which will make the odds worse for you,
406
00:16:49,250 --> 00:16:51,250
but, hey, you're prepared.
407
00:16:51,375 --> 00:16:53,083
Your sandal's untied.
408
00:16:54,959 --> 00:16:57,875
Hey, did you see another guy out there?
409
00:16:58,000 --> 00:17:00,208
I got a bad feelin' about this.
410
00:17:02,375 --> 00:17:04,125
[whinnies]
411
00:17:17,791 --> 00:17:19,541
[whinnies]
412
00:17:28,125 --> 00:17:30,583
Poor Zeus and Hera.
413
00:17:30,667 --> 00:17:34,125
If only I had a recipe for happiness.
414
00:17:34,208 --> 00:17:38,125
Hestia, honey, this is gonna take
more than a bundt cake. OK?
415
00:17:38,250 --> 00:17:41,333
People! We need to pull together
on this one, people.
416
00:17:41,458 --> 00:17:42,834
We need to keep things going
417
00:17:42,917 --> 00:17:45,375
until Zeus and Hera
can spackle their spat.
418
00:17:45,500 --> 00:17:47,625
I would do anything to help them.
419
00:17:47,750 --> 00:17:49,542
That's the spirit. You know what?
420
00:17:49,625 --> 00:17:51,125
You could cover the marriage department
for Hera.
421
00:17:51,208 --> 00:17:53,041
Oh, bake a few wedding cakes, whatever.
422
00:17:53,166 --> 00:17:56,417
And of course, we'll need someone
to fill in for Zeus,
423
00:17:56,542 --> 00:17:58,291
Handle all those responsibilities,
424
00:17:58,375 --> 00:18:00,208
Carry the weight of the world.
425
00:18:01,166 --> 00:18:05,542
Someone who can take the heat!
426
00:18:13,625 --> 00:18:14,792
[grunts]
427
00:18:19,166 --> 00:18:21,208
Aah! Oh!
428
00:18:23,583 --> 00:18:25,792
Oh, man, am I gonna have nightmares
about this.
429
00:18:25,875 --> 00:18:27,125
Forget about it.
430
00:18:27,208 --> 00:18:29,000
By the way, are your affairs
in order, really?
431
00:18:29,125 --> 00:18:31,000
I mean, any next of kin I should notify?
432
00:18:31,083 --> 00:18:33,417
I mean, I'll do you a favor.
You're history, baby.
433
00:18:33,500 --> 00:18:35,625
Get lost, would you?
434
00:18:35,709 --> 00:18:38,291
[grunts] Whoa!
435
00:18:38,375 --> 00:18:40,125
[neighing]
436
00:18:41,542 --> 00:18:42,959
Aah! Aah!
437
00:18:43,041 --> 00:18:45,500
[Philoctetes] We got to do somethin',
or the kid's horse chow.
438
00:18:45,625 --> 00:18:48,166
Kid, give it up! You're outmatched!
439
00:18:48,291 --> 00:18:50,542
Call for divine intervention!
440
00:18:51,625 --> 00:18:53,792
[growling]
441
00:18:53,875 --> 00:18:57,625
Oh, Hera, how did we let this tiff
get so out of hand?
442
00:18:57,750 --> 00:18:59,583
Even the lord of the universe
443
00:18:59,667 --> 00:19:02,375
isn't too big to say he's sorry.
444
00:19:02,458 --> 00:19:05,625
[Hercules] Father, help me!
I need you!
445
00:19:05,709 --> 00:19:06,667
Hercules?
446
00:19:06,792 --> 00:19:09,125
He's never beseeched me
with that tone before.
447
00:19:09,250 --> 00:19:10,834
He must be in real trouble.
448
00:19:10,917 --> 00:19:12,875
Where'd I park that cloud?
449
00:19:13,000 --> 00:19:15,959
[growling]
450
00:19:16,083 --> 00:19:18,000
Cerberus, put down that cloud, or you'll--
451
00:19:18,875 --> 00:19:21,125
[whimpering]
452
00:19:21,250 --> 00:19:22,875
Bad dog!
453
00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:25,375
Oh, now how am I going to get out
of this bachelor pit?
454
00:19:25,500 --> 00:19:28,166
Wait a minute. Ha! That's it.
455
00:19:28,250 --> 00:19:31,583
I'm a god. I can be omnipresent.
456
00:19:31,709 --> 00:19:33,125
[snorting]
457
00:19:34,208 --> 00:19:35,792
[Hercules] Father, please, help!
458
00:19:35,917 --> 00:19:37,834
Please!
459
00:19:45,083 --> 00:19:47,125
[both gasp]
460
00:19:47,250 --> 00:19:49,500
[Zeus] I'm comin', son!
461
00:19:49,583 --> 00:19:51,625
Get away from him, ya glue wad!
462
00:19:51,750 --> 00:19:54,625
Snack on somethin' else!
463
00:19:54,709 --> 00:19:55,834
What am I sayin'?
464
00:19:55,959 --> 00:19:57,875
[whinnies]
465
00:19:59,709 --> 00:20:03,625
Help! Some god, help! Zeus! Hera!
466
00:20:03,750 --> 00:20:05,959
Beseeching all gods!
467
00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:08,875
[neighs]
468
00:20:10,458 --> 00:20:12,500
What the-- Do you mind?
469
00:20:12,625 --> 00:20:14,375
We're in an emergency
session here. Come on.
470
00:20:14,500 --> 00:20:16,959
We got an emergency session right here!
471
00:20:17,083 --> 00:20:18,792
Help!
472
00:20:20,250 --> 00:20:23,291
Ooh, when you're hot,
you're hot. Hee hee hee.
473
00:20:26,166 --> 00:20:28,125
[sighs]
474
00:20:34,834 --> 00:20:37,542
Hercules! Son, are you all right?
475
00:20:37,667 --> 00:20:38,625
[Hercules] I'll be fine.
476
00:20:38,750 --> 00:20:42,500
How come you're here like that?
477
00:20:42,583 --> 00:20:44,000
Long story.
478
00:20:44,083 --> 00:20:46,208
Hercules, you're hurt.
479
00:20:46,291 --> 00:20:47,875
What are you doing out here?
480
00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:50,375
I-I was tryin' to make you proud.
481
00:20:50,458 --> 00:20:52,709
You've been so disappointed
in me lately.
482
00:20:52,834 --> 00:20:55,208
Whatever gave you that idea?
483
00:20:55,291 --> 00:20:57,083
We're always proud of you.
484
00:20:57,208 --> 00:20:59,750
It was your father
I was disappointed with.
485
00:20:59,875 --> 00:21:02,125
Now, Hera, don't drag him into this.
486
00:21:02,208 --> 00:21:03,625
Into what?
487
00:21:03,750 --> 00:21:06,375
We've been having
a little tiff, that's all.
488
00:21:06,458 --> 00:21:07,917
Weren't we, honey?
489
00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:10,083
Yes, we were.
490
00:21:10,208 --> 00:21:14,667
I'm sorry I forgot our anniversary, dear.
491
00:21:14,750 --> 00:21:17,000
I guess I let my job distract me.
492
00:21:17,125 --> 00:21:19,333
I'm sorry, too.
493
00:21:19,417 --> 00:21:21,500
Sometimes I forget how busy you are.
494
00:21:21,583 --> 00:21:24,083
So, you weren't mad at me?
495
00:21:24,166 --> 00:21:25,291
I didn't have to do this?
496
00:21:25,417 --> 00:21:26,875
No, dear.
497
00:21:26,959 --> 00:21:31,041
We're sorry we let our spat
get so out of hand it involved you.
498
00:21:31,166 --> 00:21:33,166
Well, to be honest,
499
00:21:33,250 --> 00:21:35,667
It wouldn't have gotten so out of hand
500
00:21:35,750 --> 00:21:38,166
if you hadn't forced me
to sleep on the sofa.
501
00:21:38,250 --> 00:21:40,834
I did no such thing.
502
00:21:40,917 --> 00:21:43,041
You left me to go
cloud hopping with Bacchus.
503
00:21:43,125 --> 00:21:44,917
I did not!
504
00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:47,750
[both] But Hades said--
505
00:21:47,834 --> 00:21:48,709
Hades...
506
00:21:48,834 --> 00:21:50,000
What have you been up to?
507
00:21:50,125 --> 00:21:54,875
Ha ha ha. You know, one day
we'll look back on this and laugh.
508
00:21:54,959 --> 00:21:57,041
And I'll be back that one day.
509
00:21:57,792 --> 00:22:00,875
Let me give you a lift back home.
510
00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:04,166
Uh, speaking of lifts back home, sweetie,
511
00:22:04,250 --> 00:22:06,792
Could you zip down to the underworld
and pick me up?
512
00:22:08,125 --> 00:22:10,625
I feel like I've failed you.
I really do.
513
00:22:10,709 --> 00:22:14,709
-I'm sorry. I apologize.
-Put a cork in it. OK?
514
00:22:18,542 --> 00:22:20,750
[theme music playing]
37322
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