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♪ Who put the glad in gladiator ♪
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♪ Hercules ♪
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♪ Whose daring deeds are great theatre ♪
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♪ Hercules ♪
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♪ Is he bold ♪
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♪ No one braver ♪
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♪ Is he sweet ♪
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♪ Our favorite flavor Hercules ♪
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♪ What a guy ♪
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♪ Ask his friends ♪
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♪ Honey they won't lie ♪
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♪ Oh Hercules ♪
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♪ Hercules ♪
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♪ No one's fool ♪
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♪ Now the boy's in school ♪
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♪ He's in trainin' ♪
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♪ Smart and shy ♪
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♪ And the nicest guy ♪
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♪ No complainin' ♪
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♪ He was a no one a zero zero ♪
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♪ He'll never quit till he's a hero ♪
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♪ He's the most likely to succeed ♪
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♪ From zero to hero ♪
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♪ Herc is a hero ♪
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♪ He'll be a hero ♪
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Wait and see.
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[narrator] The underworld --
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domain of Hades, Lord of the Dead.
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A place of bleak, unrelieved misery
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for all who dwell there.
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I love it here!
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[narrator]] Well,for most who dwell there.
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This is the bestest place ever!
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[narrator] Okay, for some who dwell there.
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If evil is in your future,
there's nothing like...
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a career in the underworld.
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Bravo!
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Bravissimo!
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Oh, yeah! Class all the way!
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[belches]
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Exactly. Couldn't have
said it better myself.
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So, hey. Let's make a deal.
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You just sign here on the dotted line
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and you are officially
the newest member of...
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Team Hades!
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Take your time. Got all day.
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Just let's make an "x"
or something. Come on.
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[grumbles]
Lastragon not know.
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00:01:56,041 --> 00:01:59,166
Me still have to consider
offer from Poseidon.
50
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Poseidon?!
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What, you wanna get paid in kelp?
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Work for me and enjoy
some real perks, okay?
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[click]
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You'll get to torture the dead,
torture the undead --
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not to mention a 15% discount
at the commissary.
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00:02:12,208 --> 00:02:14,250
And by the way,
try the Apple Brown Betty.
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Delish. [smooches]
So good.
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And best of all,
you'll get to attack my enemies.
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Top-drawer, a-one enemies like...
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Hercules!
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Herc -- one side! One side!
This is an emergency, curse you.
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Icarus, what's the matter?
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Which of these tuxes
do you like on me for the prom?
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Be brutal.
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Uh, well...
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You're right. Both too tame.
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Cassandra deserves better.
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Cassandra said she'd go with you?
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Well, not in so many words.
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What words did she use?
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Well, I think it was "somethin'
somethin' somethin',
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not in this lifetime,
somethin' somethin' somethin'."
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But I'm still in there pluggin'.
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No more Geek City for me!
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"Geek City"?
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Yeah. You know how they talk.
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"Icarus doesn't have a date
for the prom!
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"Last name Sir, first name Lou --
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He's Mr. Lou Sir."
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Well, that's not happening this year!
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So, who are you going with?
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Uh...um...I'm going with, uh...
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Yeah, yeah. Gotta go.
Sweet rejection awaits.
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Oh, pumpkin?
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I got somethin' to ask you again!
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[Cassandra]
Leave me alone!
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[sighs]
88
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Hey, uh, hey, Tempest. How are you?
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00:03:26,917 --> 00:03:31,125
Sublime. I got an alpha-plus
in metal shop for my broadsword.
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It's called "The Widowmaker."
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00:03:33,291 --> 00:03:35,917
Hey, you know,
uh, speaking of broadswords --
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you know the prom's tomorrow?
93
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You mean the annual exercise in idiocy?
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Ha ha ha. Yeah.
95
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I-I had this crazy idea
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t-that maybe you and I
might, um, want to, uh...
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I mean, you know, ehhh...
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Go together.
99
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An amazon has no need
for overrated social rituals!
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If i don't get a date for
that overrated social ritual,
101
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I'm gonna be completely humiliated.
102
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Humiliated?
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00:04:04,041 --> 00:04:07,000
A warrior doesn't know
the meaning of the word.
104
00:04:07,083 --> 00:04:08,083
Yeah, I know, but --
105
00:04:08,166 --> 00:04:09,291
No!!
106
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Is this stuff yours?
107
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"Tiber Beat"?
108
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"Greek Teen Scene"?
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"Win a dream date with Orpheus"?
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Orpheus!
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[narrator] Yes, Orpheus.
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Golden-throated minstrelwhose heavenly voice
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could melt even the mostvicious of hearts.
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A singer of unsurpassed artistry.
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A star of unrivalled --
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Okay. We get the gist, Bob.
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Can we get back to the story here?
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[Bob] Yes. Of course.
119
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Just where did you get
120
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all these glamour shots
of Orpheus, anyway?
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[Bob] Well, I found them.
122
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All right. Now you know my secret.
[sighs] I love Orpheus.
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I can't get enough of that dreamboat.
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It is my greatest shame.
125
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If I were ever found out, I'd be --
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-...humiliated?
-Yes.
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So now you see why I need
a date for the prom.
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00:05:01,083 --> 00:05:04,166
-Yes.
-So, then, maybe you'll --
129
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Not in this lifetime!
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[Icarus] Herc, you'll just
have to forget about Tempest.
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How can I?
She's my only hope to go to the prom.
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Oh, pish posh.
133
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There must be plenty of girls
who don't have a date.
134
00:05:17,625 --> 00:05:20,582
I bet Tempest would go to the
prom if that Orpheus guy was playing.
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00:05:20,667 --> 00:05:23,207
Why would Orpheus play
a stupid high-school prom?
136
00:05:23,291 --> 00:05:25,375
I don't know. Couldn't hurt to ask him.
137
00:05:25,457 --> 00:05:27,875
Dream on, Herc.
The day Orpheus plays our prom
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is the day I slow dance
with Ignats over here.
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Aah! Yes!
140
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She said yes!
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I did not.
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Let the world know
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that Cassandra will slow dance
with me tomorrow night
144
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because Hercules is bringing
Orpheus to the prom!
145
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I didn't say that!
146
00:05:47,792 --> 00:05:50,375
All I said was Orpheus...
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00:05:50,457 --> 00:05:55,375
is going to play the prom
tomorrow night!
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-[cheering]
-I guarantee it.
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Egads! It's a sad day when the youth
of Athens worship a mere singer
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00:06:03,834 --> 00:06:05,250
rather than a warrior.
151
00:06:05,333 --> 00:06:08,208
You get Orpheus,
and I will be there on your arm!
152
00:06:09,667 --> 00:06:13,625
Don't get him,
and I'll cut off your arm.
153
00:06:13,709 --> 00:06:16,207
[gulps]
Fair enough.
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00:06:16,291 --> 00:06:19,582
[muttering]
155
00:06:19,667 --> 00:06:22,875
In...section...11.
156
00:06:22,959 --> 00:06:28,374
I sense some hesitation.
157
00:06:28,375 --> 00:06:31,834
Come on, we got profit-sharing bonuses,
annual cost-of-dying raises --
158
00:06:31,917 --> 00:06:33,375
what do you want?
159
00:06:33,457 --> 00:06:35,959
Thinkin', uh...oh!
160
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Me want Orpheus!
161
00:06:38,750 --> 00:06:40,667
Hey, you want Orpheus, you got it.
162
00:06:40,750 --> 00:06:43,750
I'll get you two of 'em.
Now...what's an Orpheus?
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00:06:43,834 --> 00:06:47,750
Oh! Orpheus' likes? Fun people.
164
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Orpheus' pet peeve? Unfun people.
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Let me see that!
166
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Oy. Teen Idol. Oy, oy, oy.
167
00:06:56,332 --> 00:07:00,083
You mean this Orpheus? Orpheus!
168
00:07:00,166 --> 00:07:02,375
My pal, Orphy. Oh, my.
169
00:07:02,458 --> 00:07:05,583
We're tight. He'll be here, no problemo.
170
00:07:05,834 --> 00:07:07,959
Me get Orpheus!
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Me happy now!
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Me happy, too. Oy.
173
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[Hercules] What is wrong with me?
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00:07:13,834 --> 00:07:16,250
I'll never get Orpheus
to come to the prom.
175
00:07:16,332 --> 00:07:19,332
Hey, buck up. Look what it says here.
176
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"Orpheus loves his fans and
likes to help worthy causes."
177
00:07:23,166 --> 00:07:26,041
See? He sounds like
a down-to-earth guy.
178
00:07:26,125 --> 00:07:28,082
[tires squeal]
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00:07:32,457 --> 00:07:34,166
That's him!
180
00:07:34,250 --> 00:07:36,875
-That's him?
-Here's our chance.
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00:07:36,959 --> 00:07:38,375
Mr. Orpheus?
182
00:07:38,457 --> 00:07:40,375
Mr. Orpheus?
183
00:07:40,582 --> 00:07:43,041
Who are you?
184
00:07:43,125 --> 00:07:46,041
Mr. Orpheus, I'm a student with
my -- and my prom is tonight,
185
00:07:46,125 --> 00:07:48,125
and I promised you'd come to it.
186
00:07:48,207 --> 00:07:50,834
Or I'll be Mr. Lou Sir --
Oh, yeah.
187
00:07:50,917 --> 00:07:54,291
A-a-and I'm the son of Zeus,
so could you please come
188
00:07:54,375 --> 00:07:55,959
if you're free or something?
189
00:07:56,041 --> 00:07:57,875
Um, no.
190
00:07:57,959 --> 00:08:00,417
Oh, ah. Hey!
191
00:08:00,500 --> 00:08:02,083
[ribbit ribbit]
192
00:08:02,166 --> 00:08:04,000
So, how'd it go?
193
00:08:04,083 --> 00:08:05,166
[ribbit]
194
00:08:07,083 --> 00:08:10,291
Don't get him...and I'll cut off your arm.
195
00:08:10,375 --> 00:08:14,208
So long, buddy. Have fun
in Tempest's trophy case.
196
00:08:14,291 --> 00:08:16,959
Oh, come on now, soldier.
197
00:08:17,041 --> 00:08:19,875
You'll keep that mighty limb.
There is no fail.
198
00:08:19,959 --> 00:08:22,000
Be a man! Be strong!
199
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Be tough!
200
00:08:24,166 --> 00:08:28,000
Because I wanna dance with Cassandra!
201
00:08:28,082 --> 00:08:29,959
[crying]
202
00:08:30,041 --> 00:08:32,207
[Bob] And so, they didn't give up.
203
00:08:32,290 --> 00:08:34,792
Instead, they forged on in their quest
204
00:08:34,875 --> 00:08:36,040
to speak to the great one...
205
00:08:36,125 --> 00:08:37,959
[Hercules] Mr. Orpheus?
206
00:08:40,125 --> 00:08:44,500
[Bob] To succeed where countlessothers have failed.
207
00:08:44,583 --> 00:08:46,125
[bell dings]
208
00:08:46,208 --> 00:08:49,083
Myself, I scored a backstage pass
209
00:08:49,165 --> 00:08:50,875
and got to party in the pit!
210
00:08:50,959 --> 00:08:53,000
[woman] Ooh, you go, Bob!
211
00:08:53,083 --> 00:08:55,417
-Aah!
-Aah!
212
00:08:58,083 --> 00:08:59,208
[grunts]
213
00:08:59,290 --> 00:09:01,458
[panting]
214
00:09:01,583 --> 00:09:03,458
Mr. Orpheus, please listen.
215
00:09:03,542 --> 00:09:05,125
This is a matter
of social life and death.
216
00:09:05,625 --> 00:09:07,041
Please, just hear me out.
217
00:09:07,125 --> 00:09:08,375
I think I said "no."
218
00:09:08,458 --> 00:09:09,834
If you don't play my prom,
219
00:09:09,917 --> 00:09:12,166
I'll never be able
to show my face at school again!
220
00:09:12,250 --> 00:09:14,208
Yeah, not to mention his arm!
221
00:09:14,291 --> 00:09:16,166
That's your problem, isn't it?
222
00:09:16,250 --> 00:09:19,250
Oh, yeah? Well, now it's your problem!
223
00:09:19,333 --> 00:09:21,041
Get 'em!
224
00:09:21,125 --> 00:09:23,375
I wouldn't! I've got
a stringed instrument,
225
00:09:23,458 --> 00:09:25,166
and I'm not afraid to use it!
226
00:09:25,250 --> 00:09:26,625
Who are you?
227
00:09:26,875 --> 00:09:28,417
Ah! Who am I?!
228
00:09:28,500 --> 00:09:32,125
No, who are you, huh?! Who are you?!!
229
00:09:32,208 --> 00:09:35,458
That young man came here
with a simple wish.
230
00:09:35,542 --> 00:09:37,375
And do you listen to him?
231
00:09:37,458 --> 00:09:43,083
No! You just grunt and play
your stupid glockenspiel.
232
00:09:43,165 --> 00:09:44,750
Uh, Icarus, it's a Lyre.
233
00:09:44,834 --> 00:09:46,000
No, that's a liar!
234
00:09:46,083 --> 00:09:49,458
A big, fat,
forget-the-fans-who-made-him
235
00:09:49,542 --> 00:09:50,875
kind of liar!
236
00:09:50,959 --> 00:09:52,750
You sing about the youth of today,
237
00:09:52,834 --> 00:09:54,750
but what do you really know about it?
238
00:09:54,834 --> 00:09:58,834
Don't answer,
because we all know it's bupkis!
239
00:09:58,917 --> 00:10:02,959
I'm glad you're not playin'
our little prom.
240
00:10:03,041 --> 00:10:05,041
And you wanna know why?
241
00:10:05,125 --> 00:10:06,625
because you're not worthy of it.
242
00:10:06,709 --> 00:10:10,959
Good day, sir. I said good day.
243
00:10:11,041 --> 00:10:13,500
-What was that?!
-Reverse psychology.
244
00:10:13,583 --> 00:10:15,750
-Wait.
-Huh? See.
245
00:10:15,834 --> 00:10:16,834
You, like...
246
00:10:16,917 --> 00:10:18,333
like, sort of --
247
00:10:18,417 --> 00:10:19,917
I know, we finally got through to you
248
00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:21,417
and showed you the error
249
00:10:21,500 --> 00:10:24,083
of your cynically pampered,
pop-star ways.
250
00:10:24,166 --> 00:10:25,125
Yeah.
251
00:10:25,208 --> 00:10:27,000
You're getting through to him?
252
00:10:27,083 --> 00:10:29,125
Well, I can read between the "likes."
253
00:10:29,375 --> 00:10:31,333
Operation room service.
254
00:10:31,417 --> 00:10:32,290
Ready?
255
00:10:32,375 --> 00:10:34,165
Hee hee. Ready.
256
00:10:34,250 --> 00:10:35,834
Hoo-hoo!
257
00:10:35,917 --> 00:10:41,333
I can't believe Orpheus is really gonna
play our prom tonight!
258
00:10:41,417 --> 00:10:43,625
Aaaah!
259
00:10:43,709 --> 00:10:46,834
He's booked to play a what?
260
00:10:46,917 --> 00:10:48,333
A prom.
261
00:10:48,417 --> 00:10:49,792
It's a social function
262
00:10:49,875 --> 00:10:50,875
where everyone dresses up and --
263
00:10:50,959 --> 00:10:55,834
I know what a prom is, thank you!
264
00:10:55,917 --> 00:10:58,165
Now, where is this prom?
265
00:10:58,250 --> 00:10:59,834
You're not gonna like it.
266
00:10:59,917 --> 00:11:02,041
Heh heh. Try me.
267
00:11:04,750 --> 00:11:06,667
[coughs]
Told you.
268
00:11:06,750 --> 00:11:08,709
I can't believe this!
269
00:11:08,834 --> 00:11:11,166
The best young minion since the Minotaur
270
00:11:11,250 --> 00:11:12,625
is ready to sign with me,
271
00:11:12,709 --> 00:11:17,750
and the deal clincher
is playing a prom for Jerkules?
272
00:11:17,834 --> 00:11:20,750
Lastragon hear hubbub.
273
00:11:20,834 --> 00:11:22,333
No, that's excitement.
274
00:11:22,417 --> 00:11:24,917
Because last, babe --
may I call you last?
275
00:11:25,000 --> 00:11:27,417
Here is the hottest ticket in town.
276
00:11:27,583 --> 00:11:29,166
Oh, wait. Something's missing.
277
00:11:29,250 --> 00:11:32,000
Boom. 5 drachma service charge,
nice, boom.
278
00:11:32,083 --> 00:11:34,125
Here you go, babe. Enjoy the show.
279
00:11:34,208 --> 00:11:35,709
Hee hee hee hoo!
280
00:11:35,792 --> 00:11:37,917
Me have floor seats!
281
00:11:38,000 --> 00:11:40,333
Me so happy!
282
00:11:40,458 --> 00:11:42,542
Well, Orpheus doesn't know it,
283
00:11:42,625 --> 00:11:45,959
but he's about to start a long, long...
284
00:11:46,040 --> 00:11:47,959
underworld tour.
285
00:11:48,040 --> 00:11:50,333
Get out your tuxes, boys.
286
00:11:50,417 --> 00:11:52,125
We're goin' to the prom.
287
00:11:57,083 --> 00:11:59,040
[Bob] it's prom night at the academy.
288
00:11:59,125 --> 00:12:01,792
And everywhere, starry-eyed students await
289
00:12:01,917 --> 00:12:04,750
the happiest evening of their young lives.
290
00:12:04,834 --> 00:12:06,667
Just kill me now.
291
00:12:06,750 --> 00:12:08,667
Now you can do better
than that, Casserole.
292
00:12:08,959 --> 00:12:10,542
Give your old dad a smile.
293
00:12:10,792 --> 00:12:13,583
I am smiling.
294
00:12:13,667 --> 00:12:14,834
-[smooch]
-[gasps]
295
00:12:17,083 --> 00:12:18,417
[indistinct conversations]
296
00:12:18,500 --> 00:12:20,709
Check it out, check it out.
297
00:12:20,792 --> 00:12:23,917
Icarus gettin' a "kissarus."
Check it out.
298
00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:25,875
So, mon chéri.
299
00:12:25,959 --> 00:12:28,583
Wanna take me up on that
slow dance now?
300
00:12:28,667 --> 00:12:32,959
I've tipped the guys on the A.V. Squad
to put a spotlight on us.
301
00:12:33,040 --> 00:12:35,875
Listen, I'm only here because
Orpheus lost his mind
302
00:12:35,959 --> 00:12:37,959
and agreed to play this stupid prom.
303
00:12:38,040 --> 00:12:39,709
But I don't have to like it.
304
00:12:39,792 --> 00:12:43,834
And I won't touch you until I see him up
on that stage singing, got me?!
305
00:12:43,917 --> 00:12:45,917
I think Orpheus will be, uh --
306
00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:47,625
Orpheus? Ha!
307
00:12:47,709 --> 00:12:48,709
[gasps]
308
00:12:48,792 --> 00:12:52,040
Have you seen him yet?
Is he going on soon? Huh?
309
00:12:52,125 --> 00:12:55,625
Ballad. Big hit
with pointless drum solo.
310
00:12:55,709 --> 00:12:57,792
Other big hit --
mention Athens in it,
311
00:12:57,875 --> 00:13:00,375
hold for applause.
312
00:13:00,458 --> 00:13:01,750
Mortal!
313
00:13:01,834 --> 00:13:06,750
On your knees and bow
before my magnificent evil!
314
00:13:07,917 --> 00:13:09,583
Who are you?
315
00:13:09,667 --> 00:13:11,208
Oy. Why do I even try?
316
00:13:11,291 --> 00:13:13,583
Hades, Lord of the Dead.
How you doin'?
317
00:13:13,667 --> 00:13:15,667
These are my minions, Pain and Panic.
318
00:13:15,750 --> 00:13:17,875
They'll be abducting you
to the underworld tonight.
319
00:13:17,959 --> 00:13:21,166
It's him! It's really him!
320
00:13:21,250 --> 00:13:23,667
I'll never wash this claw again.
321
00:13:23,750 --> 00:13:26,000
Please, please be patient.
322
00:13:26,083 --> 00:13:27,166
Mr. Orpheus --
323
00:13:27,250 --> 00:13:28,250
Orpheus!
324
00:13:28,333 --> 00:13:30,959
Mr. Orpheus will be out to play very soon.
325
00:13:31,041 --> 00:13:33,250
Or not.
326
00:13:33,333 --> 00:13:35,375
Uh, wha--?
327
00:13:35,458 --> 00:13:36,625
What happened to Orpheus?
328
00:13:36,709 --> 00:13:39,417
Orpheus has left the building.
329
00:13:40,040 --> 00:13:42,208
That is some kind of big, smokey head.
330
00:13:42,290 --> 00:13:46,125
Thank you. See, I need song boy for a
little command performance.
331
00:13:46,208 --> 00:13:50,792
And don't wait up because he's gonna
be down here for a one-life stand.
332
00:13:50,875 --> 00:13:52,834
Oh, no!
333
00:13:52,917 --> 00:13:54,875
This is awful!
334
00:13:54,959 --> 00:13:57,165
We've come this far. I'm not giving up.
335
00:13:57,250 --> 00:13:58,875
Oh, easy for you to say.
336
00:13:58,959 --> 00:14:00,917
You only have to risk your life
337
00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:03,250
and rescue Orpheus from the underworld.
338
00:14:03,333 --> 00:14:05,625
I have to stall the crowd
till you come back!
339
00:14:05,709 --> 00:14:11,583
We want Orpheus!
We want Orpheus!
340
00:14:12,041 --> 00:14:14,208
Me want Orpheus!
341
00:14:14,291 --> 00:14:16,250
Me want Orpheus!
342
00:14:16,333 --> 00:14:18,667
Okay. How y'all doin' tonight?
We havin' fun?
343
00:14:18,750 --> 00:14:19,875
Before we start the show,
344
00:14:19,959 --> 00:14:23,166
we have a very special guest.
He's a giant in the industry.
345
00:14:23,250 --> 00:14:24,750
Hey, he's a giant in any industry.
346
00:14:24,834 --> 00:14:28,542
Lastragon, stand up!
347
00:14:28,625 --> 00:14:30,417
[roars]
348
00:14:30,500 --> 00:14:33,333
Ok, good. Sit back down, I wanna tell ya,
this is one big kid --
349
00:14:33,417 --> 00:14:34,500
and a snappy dresser, too.
350
00:14:34,583 --> 00:14:35,583
By the way, that reminds me --
351
00:14:35,667 --> 00:14:37,542
guy goes to a tailor.
He's got a torn chiton.
352
00:14:37,625 --> 00:14:39,667
He says to the tailor, he says,
"Hey, I got a torn chiton here."
353
00:14:39,750 --> 00:14:40,542
How are you doing?
354
00:14:40,625 --> 00:14:42,875
The tailor says, "Euripides?"
The guy says, "Eumendades?"
355
00:14:42,959 --> 00:14:44,040
[you mend these]
356
00:14:44,125 --> 00:14:46,290
I know you're out there
'cause I can hear you rotting.
357
00:14:46,375 --> 00:14:48,709
Hello? "I can hear you rotting."
358
00:14:50,333 --> 00:14:52,709
I can tell better jokes than that.
359
00:14:52,792 --> 00:14:56,917
But do I ever get to go on? No-o-o.
360
00:14:57,040 --> 00:14:59,208
I have to push the barge pole,
361
00:14:59,290 --> 00:15:02,500
schlepping a bunch of saps
down the river --
362
00:15:02,583 --> 00:15:04,959
-no offense.
-None taken.
363
00:15:05,041 --> 00:15:07,834
Come on. Just take a look at this guy,
will ya? He's a big fella, isn't he?
364
00:15:07,917 --> 00:15:11,083
Makes The Colossus of Rhodes
look like a lawn jockey!
365
00:15:11,166 --> 00:15:12,500
Lawn jockey.
366
00:15:12,583 --> 00:15:14,375
Hello? These are the jokes, friends.
367
00:15:14,458 --> 00:15:15,625
Sue me.
368
00:15:15,709 --> 00:15:17,750
Hey! You can't go in there.
369
00:15:17,834 --> 00:15:19,375
It's off-limits.
370
00:15:19,458 --> 00:15:20,458
[deep voice] Um...
371
00:15:20,542 --> 00:15:22,917
[clears throat]
I'm on the list.
372
00:15:23,000 --> 00:15:24,417
Oh, really?
373
00:15:24,500 --> 00:15:27,500
Well, guess what, smart guy?
There isn't any list!
374
00:15:27,583 --> 00:15:30,542
Oh. Oh, uh, if there's no list,
375
00:15:30,625 --> 00:15:32,083
then how do you know
I'm not on it?
376
00:15:32,165 --> 00:15:33,165
-Hmm.
-Hmm.
377
00:15:33,250 --> 00:15:34,500
He's got you there.
378
00:15:34,583 --> 00:15:36,250
Okay, in you go.
379
00:15:39,667 --> 00:15:41,375
-Hey!
-Hey!
380
00:15:44,083 --> 00:15:45,417
[normal voice]
No need to thank me.
381
00:15:45,500 --> 00:15:47,208
I'm only doing what any hero would do.
382
00:15:47,290 --> 00:15:48,333
And I give you my word
383
00:15:48,417 --> 00:15:50,208
I'll get you back to the prom
safe and sound.
384
00:15:51,250 --> 00:15:52,917
You people look terrific.
385
00:15:53,000 --> 00:15:55,375
Now, I know that everybody's
here to see Orpheus,
386
00:15:55,458 --> 00:15:59,000
so I'll just do a couple dozen
more of my own tunes.
387
00:15:59,083 --> 00:16:00,166
Oh!
388
00:16:00,250 --> 00:16:02,875
I think this is the way out.
389
00:16:02,959 --> 00:16:05,291
Because I -- I --
390
00:16:05,375 --> 00:16:09,125
oh, I've passed
this same ribcage three times.
391
00:16:09,208 --> 00:16:12,000
Aaah! What's the use?
392
00:16:12,083 --> 00:16:13,959
I can't do anything right.
393
00:16:14,041 --> 00:16:17,500
I make a fool of myself,
then I mess up your life
394
00:16:17,583 --> 00:16:21,166
and get us both stuck here
forever in the underworld.
395
00:16:21,250 --> 00:16:22,375
And for what?
396
00:16:22,458 --> 00:16:24,583
To be popular in high school.
397
00:16:26,208 --> 00:16:27,375
I've done worse.
398
00:16:27,458 --> 00:16:28,542
You have?
399
00:16:28,625 --> 00:16:30,750
Yeah. I mean, I was gifted with a voice
400
00:16:30,834 --> 00:16:32,875
that could calm a savage beast, you know,
401
00:16:32,959 --> 00:16:34,834
but now I am that beast.
402
00:16:34,917 --> 00:16:36,583
Well, not a "beast" beast, you know,
403
00:16:36,667 --> 00:16:38,750
but a money-making monster.
404
00:16:38,834 --> 00:16:40,709
It's all a horrendous waste.
405
00:16:40,792 --> 00:16:43,125
That's why I barely speak
at all anymore.
406
00:16:43,208 --> 00:16:47,667
You sacrificed your integrity
just so you could be popular?
407
00:16:47,750 --> 00:16:49,250
Somethin' like that, yeah.
408
00:16:49,333 --> 00:16:51,875
Well, you're talkin' now.
409
00:16:51,959 --> 00:16:54,125
Right. Heh. I am!
410
00:16:54,208 --> 00:16:57,375
And man, it feels good
to be using sentences again!
411
00:16:57,458 --> 00:16:58,375
Thanks, Hercules!
412
00:16:58,458 --> 00:17:01,125
No problem, but we really should try to
find a way out of here you know?
413
00:17:01,208 --> 00:17:03,291
No way, mate. I owe you.
414
00:17:03,375 --> 00:17:06,666
You have saved me...
from me.
415
00:17:06,750 --> 00:17:07,583
[crying]
416
00:17:07,666 --> 00:17:11,083
But can he save you from...
me?
417
00:17:11,165 --> 00:17:14,333
Hercules and Orpheus, come on down!
418
00:17:14,416 --> 00:17:16,333
Whoa-a-a-a!
419
00:17:16,416 --> 00:17:18,416
Aaah! Oooh!
420
00:17:22,916 --> 00:17:24,916
Me want Orpheus!
421
00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:27,834
Me want Orpheus! Me want Orpheus!
422
00:17:27,916 --> 00:17:30,834
All right, all right,
keep your loincloth on.
423
00:17:30,917 --> 00:17:34,709
Well, Mr. No-Show,
I hope you're up to performing.
424
00:17:34,792 --> 00:17:36,417
The crowd's full of deadheads,
425
00:17:36,500 --> 00:17:38,959
but hey, you'll be one of them
in a few. Ha!
426
00:17:39,041 --> 00:17:41,083
Hey, next time you're
trying to sneak away,
427
00:17:41,166 --> 00:17:43,375
you might try holding
the "Ya-na-na ya-na-na na"
428
00:17:43,458 --> 00:17:45,041
till you're topside. What do you think?
429
00:17:45,125 --> 00:17:47,583
Enjoy the show, Jerkules.
430
00:17:47,667 --> 00:17:49,750
'cause it's gonna be the last thing
431
00:17:49,834 --> 00:17:51,250
you're ever gonna see.
432
00:17:52,500 --> 00:17:54,834
That's just what I'm going to do.
433
00:17:54,917 --> 00:17:57,083
Are you ready to rock?
434
00:17:57,166 --> 00:17:58,458
[cheering]
435
00:17:59,291 --> 00:18:02,125
Are you ready for Orpheus?
436
00:18:02,208 --> 00:18:04,041
[Lastragon] Orpheus!
437
00:18:04,125 --> 00:18:06,917
Are you ready to run? All right!
438
00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:10,583
I got a genuine piece
of Orpheus clothing.
439
00:18:10,667 --> 00:18:11,709
You want it?
440
00:18:11,792 --> 00:18:12,625
Yeah!
441
00:18:12,709 --> 00:18:13,875
Come and get it!
442
00:18:13,959 --> 00:18:15,250
Orpheus!
443
00:18:15,333 --> 00:18:17,792
Orpheus!!
444
00:18:17,875 --> 00:18:19,375
Orpheus!
445
00:18:23,959 --> 00:18:27,625
I've got a prom to get to.
446
00:18:27,709 --> 00:18:30,583
Well, you've been a wonderful audience.
447
00:18:30,667 --> 00:18:34,000
And now I'm going to go do
my unplugged set.
448
00:18:34,083 --> 00:18:35,667
Could somebody unplug me?
449
00:18:35,750 --> 00:18:37,333
Where is Orpheus?
450
00:18:37,417 --> 00:18:40,834
Orpheus...is...here!
451
00:18:40,917 --> 00:18:43,834
Hello, Athens!
452
00:18:43,917 --> 00:18:45,750
Are you ready to rock?
453
00:18:45,834 --> 00:18:47,834
Aaah! He's here!
454
00:18:47,917 --> 00:18:50,083
I love you so much!
455
00:18:50,166 --> 00:18:54,709
[roars]
Kill all!
456
00:18:54,792 --> 00:18:58,667
No 2-ton titan ruins
my special moment with Orpheus!
457
00:18:58,750 --> 00:19:00,917
Meet The Widowmaker!
458
00:19:01,000 --> 00:19:03,875
Aah!
459
00:19:07,542 --> 00:19:09,709
Thank you. Thank you very much.
460
00:19:09,792 --> 00:19:12,000
[roars]
461
00:19:12,083 --> 00:19:15,125
Go get 'em, boy.
There's the kid who stole your Orpheus.
462
00:19:16,125 --> 00:19:18,000
Hi there.
463
00:19:18,083 --> 00:19:21,709
I think somehow we got off
on the wrong foot.
464
00:19:21,792 --> 00:19:23,542
Aah!
465
00:19:23,625 --> 00:19:25,625
[coughs]
466
00:19:25,709 --> 00:19:28,625
You sing for Lastragon.
467
00:19:28,709 --> 00:19:31,875
No way. I'm an artist,
not a trained monkey,
468
00:19:31,959 --> 00:19:33,417
you big fat tub of guts.
469
00:19:33,500 --> 00:19:35,458
Oh...
470
00:19:35,542 --> 00:19:38,041
me can't help weight problem.
471
00:19:38,125 --> 00:19:40,332
Whoa-a-a!
472
00:19:40,333 --> 00:19:42,125
Smart move. Insult the evil giant.
473
00:19:42,208 --> 00:19:43,667
Works every time. Nice.
474
00:19:46,667 --> 00:19:49,834
Finally, this shindig
is starting to perk up.
475
00:19:49,917 --> 00:19:51,834
Hey, Princess. Ready to go home?
476
00:19:51,917 --> 00:19:53,667
No, Dad!
477
00:19:53,750 --> 00:19:56,125
Okay, I'll just be out in the chariot.
478
00:19:56,208 --> 00:19:57,250
Party on.
479
00:19:57,333 --> 00:19:59,166
If I'd known proms were this much fun,
480
00:19:59,250 --> 00:20:00,959
I would've gone to mine.
481
00:20:04,083 --> 00:20:07,250
Me...kill...now.
482
00:20:07,333 --> 00:20:09,250
I always knew it would end like this.
483
00:20:09,333 --> 00:20:11,166
Not on your life, sister.
484
00:20:11,250 --> 00:20:12,166
[gasps]
485
00:20:12,250 --> 00:20:14,542
Sound check!
486
00:20:15,542 --> 00:20:16,709
-Huh?
-Huh?
487
00:20:16,792 --> 00:20:20,125
Sing, Orpheus. Sing like the wind!
488
00:20:20,208 --> 00:20:23,000
Yeah, make your voice pure again, Orpheus.
489
00:20:23,083 --> 00:20:24,166
You can do it.
490
00:20:24,250 --> 00:20:26,333
Uh...okay.
491
00:20:26,417 --> 00:20:27,875
This is a song I wrote today
492
00:20:27,959 --> 00:20:29,667
on the boat out of the underworld.
493
00:20:29,750 --> 00:20:32,083
It's about a guy I really admire.
494
00:20:32,166 --> 00:20:34,125
Maybe he's you, maybe it's --
495
00:20:34,208 --> 00:20:35,250
now would be a good time
to keep it brief.
496
00:20:35,333 --> 00:20:38,959
♪ He doesn't have what it takes ♪
497
00:20:39,041 --> 00:20:41,083
♪ But maybe he'll get it ♪
498
00:20:41,166 --> 00:20:44,583
♪ Maybe someday too ♪
499
00:20:44,667 --> 00:20:46,500
-What is going on?
-♪ Those are the breaks ♪
500
00:20:46,583 --> 00:20:48,917
♪ So why should he sweat it ♪
501
00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:50,750
♪ But try to tell him that ♪
502
00:20:50,834 --> 00:20:52,750
♪ He's got to learn to wait ♪
503
00:20:52,834 --> 00:20:54,333
♪ Till the time is right ♪
504
00:20:54,417 --> 00:20:56,375
♪ He's got to know his heart ♪
505
00:20:56,458 --> 00:20:58,291
♪ Before he starts to fight ♪
506
00:20:58,375 --> 00:21:00,834
Get down! Get -- ooh.
507
00:21:00,917 --> 00:21:03,500
This isn't bad. What am I doing?
508
00:21:03,583 --> 00:21:07,417
Come on, you big lunk! Crush them!
509
00:21:07,500 --> 00:21:09,500
Drop that thing!
510
00:21:09,583 --> 00:21:10,917
♪ Just give him half a chance ♪
511
00:21:11,000 --> 00:21:13,458
♪ He's gonna do all right ♪
512
00:21:13,542 --> 00:21:17,000
♪ Can anyone do more than that ♪
513
00:21:17,083 --> 00:21:20,583
♪ Yeah maybe he'll do more than that ♪
514
00:21:20,667 --> 00:21:23,250
♪ If anyone can pull it off ♪
515
00:21:23,333 --> 00:21:26,208
♪ Then Hercules might ♪
516
00:21:26,291 --> 00:21:28,083
[music fades]
517
00:21:28,166 --> 00:21:31,750
I guess you aren't such
an insufferable dolt after all.
518
00:21:31,834 --> 00:21:35,583
Ah, I bet you say that
to all the demigods.
519
00:21:35,667 --> 00:21:37,625
You were very courageous just now,
520
00:21:37,709 --> 00:21:39,125
risking your life like that.
521
00:21:39,208 --> 00:21:43,959
Well, I wasn't about to miss out
on my slow dance.
522
00:21:44,041 --> 00:21:46,417
Come on, let's get it over with.
523
00:21:48,834 --> 00:21:51,208
[snaps]
524
00:21:51,291 --> 00:21:54,333
You're never gonna let me
forget this, are you?
525
00:21:54,417 --> 00:21:56,000
You got that right, baby.
526
00:21:56,083 --> 00:21:57,500
Ugh!
527
00:21:58,792 --> 00:22:00,917
Thanks again for helping me out, Orpheus.
528
00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:04,208
I should be thanking you
for setting my head straight.
529
00:22:04,291 --> 00:22:07,750
No more selling out. Just me and my voice.
530
00:22:07,834 --> 00:22:09,834
And your roadie.
531
00:22:09,917 --> 00:22:12,333
Lastragon put this in Sparta.
532
00:22:12,417 --> 00:22:13,583
He's learning.
533
00:22:13,667 --> 00:22:16,208
♪ If anyone pull off ♪
534
00:22:16,291 --> 00:22:18,375
♪ Hercules might ♪
37759
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