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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:08,208 --> 00:00:10,542 ♪ Who put the "glad" in Gladiator? ♪ 2 00:00:10,625 --> 00:00:11,959 ♪ Hercules ♪ 3 00:00:12,041 --> 00:00:14,542 ♪ Whose daring deeds are great theater? ♪ 4 00:00:14,625 --> 00:00:16,332 ♪ Hercules ♪ 5 00:00:16,417 --> 00:00:17,333 ♪ Is he bold? ♪ 6 00:00:17,417 --> 00:00:18,417 ♪ No one braver ♪ 7 00:00:18,500 --> 00:00:19,750 ♪ Is he sweet? ♪ 8 00:00:19,834 --> 00:00:21,834 ♪ Our favorite flavor, Hercules ♪ 9 00:00:21,917 --> 00:00:23,917 -♪ What a guy ♪ -♪ Hercules ♪ 10 00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:25,750 -♪ Ask his friends ♪ -♪ Hercules ♪ 11 00:00:25,834 --> 00:00:26,750 ♪ Honey, they won't lie ♪ 12 00:00:26,834 --> 00:00:28,834 -♪ Hercules ♪ -♪ Ahh, Hercules ♪ 13 00:00:28,917 --> 00:00:30,500 ♪ Hercules ♪ 14 00:00:30,583 --> 00:00:31,959 ♪ Hercules ♪ 15 00:00:32,040 --> 00:00:33,625 -♪ Come on ♪ -♪ No one's fool ♪ 16 00:00:33,709 --> 00:00:35,166 ♪ Now the boy's in school ♪ 17 00:00:35,250 --> 00:00:36,625 ♪ He's in trainin' ♪ 18 00:00:36,709 --> 00:00:37,792 ♪ Sun is shinin' ♪ 19 00:00:37,875 --> 00:00:39,208 ♪ And the nicest guy ♪ 20 00:00:39,291 --> 00:00:40,750 ♪ No complainin' ♪ 21 00:00:40,834 --> 00:00:42,083 ♪ He was a no one ♪ 22 00:00:42,166 --> 00:00:43,583 ♪ Zero, zero, give him a quick deed ♪ 23 00:00:43,667 --> 00:00:44,792 ♪ He's our hero ♪ 24 00:00:44,875 --> 00:00:48,500 ♪ He's the most likely to succeed ♪ 25 00:00:48,583 --> 00:00:49,500 ♪ From zero to hero ♪ 26 00:00:50,291 --> 00:00:52,000 ♪ Herc is a hero ♪ 27 00:00:52,709 --> 00:00:57,917 ♪ He'll be a hero ♪ 28 00:00:58,000 --> 00:00:59,291 Wait and see! 29 00:01:01,166 --> 00:01:04,041 [Bob reading] 30 00:01:06,458 --> 00:01:08,875 Fee, fi, fo, fum. 31 00:01:08,959 --> 00:01:10,583 Hero rule nine-- Giants are... 32 00:01:10,667 --> 00:01:11,834 Dumb! 33 00:01:11,917 --> 00:01:14,709 That's why you use the "too-tall triad" against them. 34 00:01:14,792 --> 00:01:17,041 Fake, rattle-- Pbht!-- And roll! 35 00:01:19,250 --> 00:01:20,959 That's fake, battle, and roll, kid. 36 00:01:21,041 --> 00:01:23,166 Giants are too dumb to get rattled. 37 00:01:23,250 --> 00:01:25,959 [groans] I'm not so great at giants. 38 00:01:26,041 --> 00:01:28,166 Can we just skip this part, huh? 39 00:01:28,250 --> 00:01:31,375 Sorry, kid, no shortcuts to greatness. 40 00:01:31,458 --> 00:01:33,792 [man] Wow. That is some fabulous, fabulous work. 41 00:01:33,875 --> 00:01:35,625 I mean, what a presence you've got. 42 00:01:35,709 --> 00:01:37,500 Hercules, you're my man. 43 00:01:37,583 --> 00:01:40,333 Did I pronounce that right? I'm such a huge fan of yours. 44 00:01:40,417 --> 00:01:42,834 I can't even tell you to have this kind of face-to-face with you... 45 00:01:42,917 --> 00:01:44,625 Listen, can we talk, or do you have an agent? 46 00:01:44,709 --> 00:01:45,750 Uh, yeah, well -- 47 00:01:45,834 --> 00:01:48,458 Hey, hotshot, this is a closed practice. 48 00:01:48,542 --> 00:01:50,542 You are one lucky little goat man, you know that? 49 00:01:50,625 --> 00:01:53,041 I mean, your boy is so money, and he doesn't even know it, brother. 50 00:01:53,125 --> 00:01:54,000 You think so? 51 00:01:54,083 --> 00:01:56,625 Who are you, and what's with that get-up? 52 00:01:56,709 --> 00:01:57,667 This is my card. 53 00:01:58,750 --> 00:02:02,333 "Loki-- trickster god of the Norse Pantheon." 54 00:02:02,417 --> 00:02:04,083 Hmph. Barbarian, huh? 55 00:02:04,166 --> 00:02:05,333 Yeah, that's interesting. 56 00:02:05,417 --> 00:02:07,208 The goat man just called me a barbarian. 57 00:02:07,291 --> 00:02:10,875 Anyway, look, There is a major, major buzz about Hercules. 58 00:02:10,959 --> 00:02:12,458 You know what I mean? And from what I just saw, 59 00:02:12,542 --> 00:02:14,875 I think you're ready for the big show-- truth, truth. 60 00:02:14,959 --> 00:02:16,208 Uh, what show? 61 00:02:16,291 --> 00:02:18,208 Asgard-- The realm of the Norse Gods! 62 00:02:18,291 --> 00:02:20,458 We're looking to fill a new position-- Thunder God-- 63 00:02:20,542 --> 00:02:23,208 Cranking out storms, deciding battle frenzies. You know that sort of thing. 64 00:02:23,291 --> 00:02:24,750 Fun stuff. Are you interested? 65 00:02:24,834 --> 00:02:26,291 Me? A God? 66 00:02:26,375 --> 00:02:28,166 Ha-ha! I'm there! 67 00:02:28,250 --> 00:02:30,333 Whoa, slow down, Goldilocks. 68 00:02:30,417 --> 00:02:32,250 He's training to be a Greek hero. 69 00:02:32,333 --> 00:02:34,208 Oh, right, right. Let's see -- 70 00:02:34,291 --> 00:02:36,959 "Reaching for the brass ring to join mom and pop on Olympus." 71 00:02:37,041 --> 00:02:39,291 Yeah, but how do you know that? 72 00:02:39,375 --> 00:02:40,583 Look, I do my research. 73 00:02:40,667 --> 00:02:42,500 Anyway, let's cut to the chase here, OK? 74 00:02:42,583 --> 00:02:45,583 Now, the plain truth is I want to be in the Hercules business. 75 00:02:45,667 --> 00:02:47,542 But you gotta help, Herc. I mean, you want Olympus, right? 76 00:02:47,625 --> 00:02:48,792 Well, that's doable, very doable. 77 00:02:48,875 --> 00:02:51,041 But at the end of the day, you're gonna need some credits. 78 00:02:51,125 --> 00:02:51,959 Credits? 79 00:02:52,041 --> 00:02:53,625 You know, actual God gigs. 80 00:02:53,709 --> 00:02:56,333 I mean, this hero training, that's such a slow track. 81 00:02:56,417 --> 00:02:58,500 But we make you a God now-- pow, baby! 82 00:02:58,583 --> 00:03:00,667 We're talking a-list! You got juice! 83 00:03:00,750 --> 00:03:03,041 Olympus, they come calling for you, capiche? 84 00:03:03,125 --> 00:03:04,375 Uh, capiche. 85 00:03:04,458 --> 00:03:07,333 Kid, kid, no shortcuts, remember? 86 00:03:07,417 --> 00:03:09,208 Phil, Phil, my goat man. 87 00:03:09,291 --> 00:03:10,834 Have you ever heard of the Valkyries? 88 00:03:11,500 --> 00:03:13,125 See, the valkyries are, like, a group of ladies. 89 00:03:13,208 --> 00:03:14,083 Really? 90 00:03:14,166 --> 00:03:16,166 You know, very friendly. You know. 91 00:03:16,250 --> 00:03:18,083 [chuckles] That kind of thing. 92 00:03:18,166 --> 00:03:20,291 -No kidding. -Yes. Yes. 93 00:03:20,375 --> 00:03:22,291 Kid, let's go for it! 94 00:03:22,375 --> 00:03:24,834 But you said no shortcuts. 95 00:03:24,917 --> 00:03:30,291 I know, I know, but think about it. Valkyries! Valhalla! 96 00:03:30,375 --> 00:03:33,208 Yeah, hey, that's supposed to be a state-of-the-art facility. 97 00:03:33,291 --> 00:03:34,333 Valhalla? 98 00:03:34,417 --> 00:03:37,083 Oh, they say it's a beautiful palace. 99 00:03:37,166 --> 00:03:41,458 Across the rainbow bridge of Bifrost to the plane of Asgard. 100 00:03:41,542 --> 00:03:47,041 There rises Valhalla, Hall of Odin, king of the Norse Gods. 101 00:03:47,125 --> 00:03:50,667 Valhalla. Okay. Okay, Mr. Loki. 102 00:03:50,750 --> 00:03:53,291 We'll go take a look. What can it hurt? 103 00:03:53,959 --> 00:03:56,417 Behold Valhalla! 104 00:03:56,500 --> 00:04:00,166 -[wind howling] -[shivering] That-- that's it? 105 00:04:00,250 --> 00:04:01,625 It's a dump! 106 00:04:01,709 --> 00:04:02,834 Goatie, you wouldn't know class 107 00:04:02,917 --> 00:04:04,291 if it came up and bit you on the tail. 108 00:04:04,375 --> 00:04:06,583 This is retro, baby. 109 00:04:06,667 --> 00:04:10,125 [indistinct conversations] 110 00:04:10,959 --> 00:04:12,083 Pass the salt, then. 111 00:04:12,166 --> 00:04:15,000 Hey, hey, get your beard outta my cheese, there, would ya? 112 00:04:15,083 --> 00:04:17,041 Hey, hey, hold it! Close the door! 113 00:04:17,125 --> 00:04:18,417 I'm freezing in here. 114 00:04:18,500 --> 00:04:20,500 Where were you born, in a barn, there? 115 00:04:20,582 --> 00:04:21,542 [grunts] 116 00:04:21,625 --> 00:04:23,417 Silence, pathetic mortals. Where's Odin? 117 00:04:23,542 --> 00:04:26,582 Uh, gee, sorry, Loki. Didn't see you there. 118 00:04:26,667 --> 00:04:28,750 Yah, boy, we totally worship ya. 119 00:04:28,834 --> 00:04:31,125 Wonderful, wonderful. Where is Odin? 120 00:04:31,207 --> 00:04:33,082 Uh, Odin's out talking to Mimir. 121 00:04:33,166 --> 00:04:36,332 You know, that-that disembodied head, there, in-in the well of wisdom? 122 00:04:36,417 --> 00:04:39,041 He's talking to the head again. That's really great, great. 123 00:04:39,125 --> 00:04:41,417 Now this is Hercules. 124 00:04:41,500 --> 00:04:43,582 Now please, take care of him, boys. He's with daddy. 125 00:04:43,667 --> 00:04:46,082 Okay, I'm gonna be right back with Odin, Herc. Stay who you are. 126 00:04:46,166 --> 00:04:47,709 Uh, whatever you say, Loki. 127 00:04:47,792 --> 00:04:49,207 Yah, pull up a stump. 128 00:04:49,291 --> 00:04:51,959 I'm Jorgen Svensen and that there's Sven Jorgensen. 129 00:04:52,041 --> 00:04:53,875 Okay, so, uh, have a chop, then. 130 00:04:53,959 --> 00:04:55,125 Yeah, yeah. Eat up, kid. 131 00:04:55,207 --> 00:04:57,667 I'm gonna see if I can find me some of them Valkyries. 132 00:04:57,750 --> 00:04:59,834 You're... You aren't from around here, are ya? 133 00:04:59,917 --> 00:05:01,959 Mnh-mnh. Greece. 134 00:05:02,041 --> 00:05:05,333 Yah, I can tell by that flimsy dress you're wearing there. 135 00:05:05,417 --> 00:05:08,792 Yeah, don't ya-- don't ya get just a tidge drafty in there? 136 00:05:08,875 --> 00:05:10,125 Ahh. 137 00:05:10,208 --> 00:05:11,792 You missed a spot, Brunhilda. 138 00:05:11,875 --> 00:05:14,250 Ho-ho! What have we here? 139 00:05:14,333 --> 00:05:16,207 The sacred Mead of Poetry. 140 00:05:16,291 --> 00:05:19,082 He who drinks of it shall speak only in verse. 141 00:05:21,082 --> 00:05:22,000 Ahh! 142 00:05:22,082 --> 00:05:24,082 Say, that mead is quite delish. 143 00:05:24,166 --> 00:05:26,375 And you, my dear, what a dish! 144 00:05:26,457 --> 00:05:28,667 Mm! Mmm! 145 00:05:28,750 --> 00:05:32,166 This is really, really good. What is it? 146 00:05:32,250 --> 00:05:33,792 That would be your reindeer. 147 00:05:33,875 --> 00:05:35,125 [coughs] 148 00:05:35,207 --> 00:05:37,625 So, uh, this Valhalla 149 00:05:37,709 --> 00:05:39,792 must be an interesting place to live, huh? 150 00:05:39,875 --> 00:05:41,917 Wouldn't know, seein' as how we're dead. 151 00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:44,500 You're dead? As in-- as in dead? 152 00:05:44,582 --> 00:05:47,082 Oh, yeah. Deader than doornails. Dead, dead, dead. 153 00:05:47,166 --> 00:05:50,166 This is Valhalla-- The hall of slain heroes. 154 00:05:50,250 --> 00:05:53,082 Odin,The Allfather, he likes to hang out with dead guys, don't ya know? 155 00:05:53,166 --> 00:05:55,082 Dead guys? Eww! 156 00:05:55,166 --> 00:05:58,375 Okay, so you're not dead then, eh? 157 00:05:58,457 --> 00:06:00,792 No. I'm gonna be Thunder God. 158 00:06:00,875 --> 00:06:03,000 [men murmuring] 159 00:06:03,834 --> 00:06:05,250 You were gonna scratch my head. 160 00:06:05,333 --> 00:06:06,834 What? Was it something I said? 161 00:06:06,917 --> 00:06:10,125 So, uh, you're gonna be Thunder God, uh-huh? 162 00:06:10,208 --> 00:06:11,291 Who says, then? 163 00:06:11,375 --> 00:06:13,208 Um, this guy named Loki. 164 00:06:13,291 --> 00:06:15,917 Yah, but everybody knows Odin's boy, 165 00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:17,332 he's gonna be the Thunder God. 166 00:06:17,417 --> 00:06:18,457 [rattling] 167 00:06:18,542 --> 00:06:20,959 I now return from the well of wisdom. 168 00:06:21,041 --> 00:06:22,082 Spoke with Mimir. 169 00:06:22,166 --> 00:06:23,500 He's still very wise. 170 00:06:23,582 --> 00:06:26,959 Oh, yeah, I'm sure about that. Anyway, I have a brainstorm. 171 00:06:27,041 --> 00:06:28,750 Got some nice cod, too. Hungry? 172 00:06:28,834 --> 00:06:30,125 No. Anyway-- 173 00:06:30,207 --> 00:06:32,667 Hey, Odin, check out this new kid, would ya? 174 00:06:32,750 --> 00:06:33,792 He's not even dead. 175 00:06:33,875 --> 00:06:36,207 Yah. And he says he's gonna be the Thunder God. 176 00:06:36,291 --> 00:06:37,792 That so? Hmm. 177 00:06:37,875 --> 00:06:38,917 I was getting to that. 178 00:06:39,000 --> 00:06:41,417 Oh, hi, sir. I, [clears throat] Odin. 179 00:06:41,500 --> 00:06:43,792 I don't want to cause any trouble, so-- 180 00:06:43,875 --> 00:06:45,250 Trouble. [chuckles] 181 00:06:45,332 --> 00:06:47,500 No, you're perfect for this part. Relax, baby. 182 00:06:47,582 --> 00:06:51,332 Loki, I have someone in mind for Thunder God, you know that. 183 00:06:51,417 --> 00:06:54,625 Yeah, right. You're gonna cast your own son. Can we say favoritism here? 184 00:06:54,709 --> 00:06:58,625 We all know, we need the best possible Thunder God to stop Ragnarok. 185 00:06:58,709 --> 00:06:59,834 What's Ragnarok? 186 00:06:59,917 --> 00:07:01,333 Oh, it's your basic 187 00:07:01,375 --> 00:07:03,250 end-of-the-world, day-of-doom type of deal. 188 00:07:03,333 --> 00:07:04,458 I'm on it. Don't worry. 189 00:07:04,542 --> 00:07:07,834 Now surely the oh-so-wise Odin will consider other candidates, 190 00:07:07,917 --> 00:07:11,291 for he is a fair God, you know, an equal-opportunity god. 191 00:07:11,375 --> 00:07:14,542 All right, Loki. If it's the fair thing to do. 192 00:07:14,625 --> 00:07:17,792 Okay, now meet Hercules, Greek hero in training. 193 00:07:17,875 --> 00:07:19,457 Give him your resume, champ. 194 00:07:20,875 --> 00:07:23,582 Hmm, Greek. Hermod. 195 00:07:23,667 --> 00:07:25,166 Yeah, sure, you betcha. 196 00:07:25,250 --> 00:07:26,457 Translate this, please. 197 00:07:26,542 --> 00:07:29,332 Okay, let's see, then-- "Hercules demigod..." 198 00:07:29,417 --> 00:07:32,375 Greek Gods and Norse Gods are two of a pair. 199 00:07:32,457 --> 00:07:35,417 He looks just like Hermes, with more facial hair. 200 00:07:35,500 --> 00:07:36,500 [reading indistinctly] 201 00:07:36,582 --> 00:07:38,166 Hey, why are you talking like that? 202 00:07:38,250 --> 00:07:40,709 I drank some mead, and now I can't stop 203 00:07:40,792 --> 00:07:44,041 talking verses and poems and all of that glop! Aah! 204 00:07:44,125 --> 00:07:47,500 Don't get much call for lion taming up here-- wrong climate. 205 00:07:47,582 --> 00:07:49,542 How are you against giants, son? 206 00:07:49,625 --> 00:07:50,750 Oh, giants. Well-- 207 00:07:50,834 --> 00:07:52,750 Oh,let's just make this easy. An audition-- 208 00:07:52,834 --> 00:07:53,917 My boy against your boy. One-on one. 209 00:07:54,000 --> 00:07:56,291 The winner gets his name in northern lights. 210 00:07:56,375 --> 00:07:58,625 The son of Odin against him? 211 00:07:59,291 --> 00:08:01,041 So be it. 212 00:08:01,125 --> 00:08:04,959 Hercules shall compete for the job of Thunder God 213 00:08:05,041 --> 00:08:09,458 against he of the sinewy calves, wielder of the iron gloves, 214 00:08:09,542 --> 00:08:11,375 wearer of the magic girdle-- 215 00:08:11,458 --> 00:08:12,959 [bleating] 216 00:08:13,041 --> 00:08:15,417 Behold my boy Thor. 217 00:08:15,500 --> 00:08:17,625 Ah-ha-ha! 218 00:08:17,709 --> 00:08:21,082 Who dares challenge Thor? 219 00:08:22,332 --> 00:08:23,917 Hi. Nice to meet you. 220 00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:25,582 Ah-ha-ha! 221 00:08:26,625 --> 00:08:28,332 That's a little loud, son. 222 00:08:28,417 --> 00:08:33,040 Anyway, to the victor goes the mighty hammer... Mjollnir. 223 00:08:33,165 --> 00:08:35,082 May the godliest hero win. 224 00:08:35,165 --> 00:08:37,582 Oh, and no divine intervention. 225 00:08:37,667 --> 00:08:39,250 Loki, no funny business. 226 00:08:39,332 --> 00:08:41,165 I'm just here for the reaction shot, chief. 227 00:08:41,250 --> 00:08:43,709 You are puny. Are you a troll? 228 00:08:43,792 --> 00:08:45,542 I'm a hero in training! 229 00:08:45,625 --> 00:08:48,458 No, kid! Rushing in will be your ruination! 230 00:08:48,542 --> 00:08:50,667 Stop! Take your time! Assess the... 231 00:08:50,750 --> 00:08:51,959 [grunts] 232 00:08:52,040 --> 00:08:53,290 Situation. 233 00:08:53,375 --> 00:08:55,417 Okay, so you have magic gloves, 234 00:08:55,500 --> 00:08:58,375 but no way are you as strong as I am. 235 00:08:58,917 --> 00:09:01,500 [groaning] 236 00:09:01,750 --> 00:09:03,458 [screams] 237 00:09:05,083 --> 00:09:07,375 Okay, so you're stronger. 238 00:09:07,458 --> 00:09:10,417 In Asgard, we show no mercy to our enemies. 239 00:09:10,500 --> 00:09:15,542 Prepare to go to Valhalla, the hall of slain heroes! 240 00:09:16,208 --> 00:09:17,458 [grunts] 241 00:09:20,667 --> 00:09:21,875 [gasps] 242 00:09:24,959 --> 00:09:26,291 [spits] 243 00:09:30,375 --> 00:09:31,667 [screams] 244 00:09:33,834 --> 00:09:36,000 -Yaah! -Huh? 245 00:09:39,667 --> 00:09:40,667 Aah! 246 00:09:40,750 --> 00:09:41,750 [gasps] 247 00:09:45,125 --> 00:09:46,333 Whoa! 248 00:09:47,083 --> 00:09:48,165 [screams] 249 00:09:54,125 --> 00:09:55,333 Well, I'll be. 250 00:09:55,417 --> 00:09:57,290 Your boy knocked Thor senseless. 251 00:09:57,375 --> 00:10:00,875 Huh? I did? I, uh, huh, guess I did. 252 00:10:00,959 --> 00:10:03,625 Ha-ha, kid! Great! You really hit a groove. 253 00:10:03,709 --> 00:10:06,083 But I didn't teach you that flying-kick move. 254 00:10:06,166 --> 00:10:08,458 I know. It just sort of happened. 255 00:10:08,542 --> 00:10:09,834 Well, who'd have thought? 256 00:10:09,917 --> 00:10:10,792 If I didn't know better, 257 00:10:10,875 --> 00:10:13,166 I'd think some trickster pulled a fast one. 258 00:10:13,250 --> 00:10:16,083 But, since all the Gods promised not to interfere, 259 00:10:16,166 --> 00:10:17,583 that's impossible. 260 00:10:17,667 --> 00:10:19,625 That's an excellent point. That's true. 261 00:10:19,709 --> 00:10:23,417 [groans] 262 00:10:23,709 --> 00:10:26,291 So, looks like you're our Thunder God, Hercules. 263 00:10:30,625 --> 00:10:32,667 Here's Mjollnir-- Your mighty hammer-- 264 00:10:32,750 --> 00:10:34,834 Your magic belt, and your iron gloves. 265 00:10:34,917 --> 00:10:35,834 Awesome! 266 00:10:36,208 --> 00:10:37,750 No! 267 00:10:37,834 --> 00:10:39,290 Please, Thor, indoor voice. 268 00:10:39,375 --> 00:10:42,000 But, father, all my life I've trained 269 00:10:42,083 --> 00:10:45,667 to wield the mighty hammer Mjollnir as Thunder God! 270 00:10:45,917 --> 00:10:47,250 Fair's fair. Keys. 271 00:10:47,333 --> 00:10:50,040 Well, not the chariot! I customized it! 272 00:10:50,165 --> 00:10:51,834 Beautifully, son, but the Thunder God 273 00:10:51,917 --> 00:10:54,250 has to have something to drive his thunder around in. 274 00:10:54,333 --> 00:10:55,583 Even the goats? 275 00:10:55,667 --> 00:10:56,500 Goats? 276 00:10:56,583 --> 00:10:58,165 Oh, I almost forgot. Divinity. 277 00:11:02,583 --> 00:11:04,500 There. You're a God. Good luck. 278 00:11:04,583 --> 00:11:07,291 Ha! Look! Phil! I'm a God! 279 00:11:07,375 --> 00:11:09,583 Herc, kid, to you I implore. 280 00:11:09,667 --> 00:11:12,583 Can you make it so's I don't rhyme no more? 281 00:11:12,667 --> 00:11:14,625 Gladly, Philoctetes. 282 00:11:16,000 --> 00:11:18,041 -Ah. Thanks, kid. -[cowbell rattles] 283 00:11:18,125 --> 00:11:21,875 Look, um, I got a funny feeling about this whole God thing. 284 00:11:21,959 --> 00:11:23,834 Come on, Phil. I'm a God. 285 00:11:23,917 --> 00:11:25,709 [scoffs] What can go wrong? 286 00:11:25,792 --> 00:11:28,291 Oh, uh, no hard feelings, right, Thor? 287 00:11:28,375 --> 00:11:30,417 You will rue the day 288 00:11:30,500 --> 00:11:33,375 you met Loki, the trickster God of Ragnarok! 289 00:11:33,458 --> 00:11:37,083 Uh! What is up with this Ragnarok people keep talking about? 290 00:11:37,165 --> 00:11:39,875 The twilight of the Gods! 291 00:11:39,959 --> 00:11:41,709 The downfall of Asgard, 292 00:11:41,792 --> 00:11:46,208 long foretold by the weavers of fate, The Norns! 293 00:11:46,290 --> 00:11:48,375 Hey, don't worry about Thor, my man. 294 00:11:48,458 --> 00:11:50,375 -He's B-list now. -[Hercules] Oh, okay. 295 00:11:50,458 --> 00:11:52,165 Uh, well, thanks for everything, Loki. 296 00:11:52,250 --> 00:11:54,125 I, uh-- whoa! 297 00:11:54,208 --> 00:11:55,208 Bye-bye. 298 00:11:55,290 --> 00:11:58,250 Have a great first day as a God-- First and last. 299 00:12:02,709 --> 00:12:03,542 [Loki] Man, I'm telling you, 300 00:12:03,625 --> 00:12:06,834 this project is gonna be huge, baby-- just huge! 301 00:12:07,458 --> 00:12:11,125 [chuckling] I mean, Hercules attached to Ragnarok. 302 00:12:11,208 --> 00:12:14,291 I mean, have you ever seen a kid so not ready for the bigs? 303 00:12:14,375 --> 00:12:18,875 It is comeback time for you, Fenris, my little snowball baby. 304 00:12:18,959 --> 00:12:20,542 [laughs] 305 00:12:20,625 --> 00:12:24,542 [Phil] So, what's on your list of epic, mythic, godly duties? 306 00:12:24,625 --> 00:12:26,208 Provide sunshine 307 00:12:26,291 --> 00:12:29,542 for Greenland girl's school may day celebration. 308 00:12:29,625 --> 00:12:31,125 Greenland? Hmph. 309 00:12:31,208 --> 00:12:33,625 Well, at least it sounds warm. 310 00:12:33,709 --> 00:12:37,250 Brr! Brother, if this is Greenland, 311 00:12:37,333 --> 00:12:39,250 I wonder what Iceland is like. 312 00:12:40,583 --> 00:12:43,333 [sighs] Why do we call this Iceland anyway? 313 00:12:43,417 --> 00:12:46,500 Well, it keeps the tourists away, baby. top you off. 314 00:12:46,583 --> 00:12:47,709 [chuckles] 315 00:12:47,792 --> 00:12:48,875 [wind howling] 316 00:12:48,959 --> 00:12:50,583 It can't be as miserable as this! 317 00:12:51,290 --> 00:12:53,333 You're in charge of the weather, Thunder God! 318 00:12:53,834 --> 00:12:55,250 Change it! 319 00:12:55,417 --> 00:12:58,792 Oh, uh, right. I guess I better use the hammer. 320 00:12:58,875 --> 00:13:00,041 Whoa! 321 00:13:00,125 --> 00:13:01,583 It's kind of tough to handle! 322 00:13:04,834 --> 00:13:07,917 -Oww! Ow! Ow! Ow! That's hail! -Whoops. 323 00:13:08,667 --> 00:13:10,917 No! No more hammer! 324 00:13:12,166 --> 00:13:13,417 [bleating] 325 00:13:15,291 --> 00:13:17,834 [Hercules and Phil scream] 326 00:13:20,291 --> 00:13:21,500 [crash] 327 00:13:24,834 --> 00:13:27,417 May I suggest, O mighty Hercules, 328 00:13:27,500 --> 00:13:29,834 that we get out of your mighty downpour? 329 00:13:31,375 --> 00:13:32,750 Hey, there's a cave up there. 330 00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:38,875 Huh. It looks just like the cave of the fates back home. 331 00:13:40,083 --> 00:13:41,500 Hey, that's Atropos. 332 00:13:41,583 --> 00:13:43,125 Those are the fates. 333 00:13:43,583 --> 00:13:45,834 Shh! We are not the fates. 334 00:13:45,917 --> 00:13:47,250 You are, too. 335 00:13:47,834 --> 00:13:50,458 Hey, you're double dipping-- 336 00:13:50,542 --> 00:13:52,792 Working two mythologies at once! 337 00:13:52,875 --> 00:13:54,667 No. No. No. 338 00:13:54,750 --> 00:13:59,375 Uh, we are the Norns, Norse weavers of fate. 339 00:13:59,458 --> 00:14:00,583 Oh, yah, sure. You bet. 340 00:14:00,667 --> 00:14:02,667 Now, if you'll excuse me, we're in a hurry. 341 00:14:02,750 --> 00:14:04,125 W-where you going? 342 00:14:04,208 --> 00:14:05,333 Iceland. 343 00:14:05,417 --> 00:14:07,333 It's beautiful this time of year. 344 00:14:07,834 --> 00:14:09,792 There's nothing for us here now, 345 00:14:09,875 --> 00:14:11,917 or won't be, thanks to you. 346 00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:13,125 Me? Why? 347 00:14:13,208 --> 00:14:15,375 Ragnarok has come. 348 00:14:15,917 --> 00:14:17,375 The Twilight of the Gods? 349 00:14:17,458 --> 00:14:19,458 Loki said not to worry about that. 350 00:14:19,542 --> 00:14:20,875 Well, he would. 351 00:14:20,959 --> 00:14:22,458 Loki is the traitor 352 00:14:22,542 --> 00:14:26,542 who brings about the final destruction of Asgard. 353 00:14:26,625 --> 00:14:28,792 What? But he seemed like such a nice guy. 354 00:14:28,875 --> 00:14:32,458 Why do you think he's called the Trickster God, you big dummy. 355 00:14:32,542 --> 00:14:35,542 Oh. [gasps] Ohh! 356 00:14:36,083 --> 00:14:40,500 Even now, Loki begins to release the giant wolf Fenris, 357 00:14:40,583 --> 00:14:44,667 whose liberation from the ice caves of Niffleheim 358 00:14:44,750 --> 00:14:49,667 wakes the giants and signals the coming of Ragnarok. 359 00:14:51,165 --> 00:14:53,583 Ragnarok, Niffleheim, Fenris-- 360 00:14:53,667 --> 00:14:55,834 Anybody got a Norse-to-Greek dictionary? 361 00:14:55,917 --> 00:15:01,834 Only when Thor wields the mighty hammer will Loki be defeated. 362 00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:04,625 Fear not, for I am your Thunder God. 363 00:15:04,709 --> 00:15:07,875 I shall wield the hammer and save Asgard! 364 00:15:07,959 --> 00:15:09,125 Whoops! 365 00:15:15,709 --> 00:15:17,250 Yeah, that's nice. 366 00:15:17,333 --> 00:15:19,166 Come on, sister Fates. 367 00:15:20,542 --> 00:15:23,417 Ha ha! I mean, Norns. 368 00:15:23,542 --> 00:15:26,625 I'm tellin' ya, they're double dipping! 369 00:15:28,709 --> 00:15:29,917 There it is! 370 00:15:32,959 --> 00:15:34,040 [grunting] 371 00:15:34,709 --> 00:15:35,792 [bleating] 372 00:15:36,083 --> 00:15:38,208 Hey, my goats! 373 00:15:38,290 --> 00:15:39,333 Let 'em go! 374 00:15:39,417 --> 00:15:41,000 We gotta stop Loki! 375 00:15:42,875 --> 00:15:45,125 Soon, my little pet, you shall be free. 376 00:15:45,208 --> 00:15:47,542 Odin will fall, and I, Loki, 377 00:15:47,625 --> 00:15:50,917 shall have exclusivity as king of the Norse Gods! 378 00:15:51,000 --> 00:15:53,625 Can you feel it, baby? Daddy's coming home! 379 00:15:53,709 --> 00:15:55,667 Not so fast, trickster! 380 00:15:55,750 --> 00:15:57,709 The Norns told me of your treachery. 381 00:15:57,792 --> 00:16:00,542 I, the mighty Hercules, shall put a stop to, uh-- 382 00:16:00,625 --> 00:16:01,834 Ragnarok? 383 00:16:01,917 --> 00:16:03,917 Right. Ragnarok. 384 00:16:04,917 --> 00:16:05,917 No! 385 00:16:09,917 --> 00:16:11,125 [roaring] 386 00:16:14,917 --> 00:16:18,667 Thank you, O Thunder God, for comfort in my time of need. 387 00:16:18,750 --> 00:16:19,667 [chuckles] 388 00:16:20,291 --> 00:16:21,625 [growling] 389 00:16:21,709 --> 00:16:22,917 Oops. [clears throat] 390 00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:25,000 [deep voice] I mean, oops. 391 00:16:28,458 --> 00:16:30,709 [roars] 392 00:16:30,792 --> 00:16:32,959 I'm not afraid of your big, bad wolf. 393 00:16:33,040 --> 00:16:34,792 I'm a God. 394 00:16:34,917 --> 00:16:36,709 [roars] 395 00:16:37,875 --> 00:16:40,458 Still not reading the runes on the wall, are you, Hercy? 396 00:16:40,542 --> 00:16:42,125 You see, you taking Thor's job 397 00:16:42,208 --> 00:16:43,417 as part of my whole vision, brother. 398 00:16:43,500 --> 00:16:45,417 Without Thor, Ragnarok's a done deal. 399 00:16:45,500 --> 00:16:48,250 But-- but I defeated Thor in combat! 400 00:16:48,333 --> 00:16:50,500 Yeah, with a little help from your friend the Trickster God. 401 00:16:50,583 --> 00:16:52,290 I'm the one who defeated Thor, brother. 402 00:16:52,375 --> 00:16:56,040 As I shall defeat you, Loki! 403 00:16:56,125 --> 00:16:58,875 [roars] 404 00:17:00,875 --> 00:17:04,125 Okay! I guess it's up to me. 405 00:17:04,208 --> 00:17:05,625 [Fenris roars] 406 00:17:08,709 --> 00:17:11,040 Giants, awake! 407 00:17:11,125 --> 00:17:13,458 It's time to Ragnarok 'n' roll! 408 00:17:13,541 --> 00:17:15,500 [echoing] It's showtime! 409 00:17:16,208 --> 00:17:17,834 [rumbling] 410 00:17:21,791 --> 00:17:22,959 [growling] 411 00:17:28,959 --> 00:17:31,417 Ragnarok! 412 00:17:31,500 --> 00:17:33,917 Ragnarok! Ragnarok! 413 00:17:34,000 --> 00:17:37,291 I love the enthusiasm, guys, but Valhalla is that way. 414 00:17:37,375 --> 00:17:39,125 [grunting] 415 00:17:39,208 --> 00:17:42,959 [both] Ragnarok! Ragnarok! 416 00:17:43,041 --> 00:17:44,834 [sighs] Oh, Loki's right. 417 00:17:44,917 --> 00:17:46,500 I wasn't ready to be a God. 418 00:17:47,375 --> 00:17:49,166 -The hammer! -[Hercules] Huh? 419 00:17:49,250 --> 00:17:52,750 Mjollnir will return to the hand of the Thunder God. 420 00:17:52,834 --> 00:17:54,917 You need only will it to do so. 421 00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:56,834 Oh. Cool. 422 00:17:56,917 --> 00:17:58,417 [grunting] 423 00:17:58,500 --> 00:18:00,500 Mjollnir, here, boy! 424 00:18:01,875 --> 00:18:02,834 Oops! 425 00:18:06,083 --> 00:18:07,125 Oops! 426 00:18:09,917 --> 00:18:11,917 Oh, hey, oh, boy. Here comes Loki. 427 00:18:12,000 --> 00:18:14,625 That's Fenris and those are the giants, there. 428 00:18:16,250 --> 00:18:17,959 Ragnarok! To arms! 429 00:18:18,709 --> 00:18:20,125 [trumpets] 430 00:18:20,208 --> 00:18:23,291 [men shouting] 431 00:18:24,041 --> 00:18:25,041 Let's see-- 432 00:18:25,125 --> 00:18:27,709 "When Ragnarok comes, the wolf Fenris shall swallow the sun." 433 00:18:27,792 --> 00:18:30,875 [chuckles] Who writes this stuff, huh? I love it. 434 00:18:34,291 --> 00:18:35,291 [belches] 435 00:18:35,375 --> 00:18:38,291 Fenris has swallowed the sun. 436 00:18:38,375 --> 00:18:40,625 Ugh! This is a total disaster! 437 00:18:40,709 --> 00:18:43,166 Thor, maybe you should be the Thunder God. 438 00:18:43,250 --> 00:18:44,458 Impossible! 439 00:18:44,542 --> 00:18:47,166 Unless you were to give up your godhood. 440 00:18:47,250 --> 00:18:50,500 If it'll save Asgard, it's the only heroic thing to do. 441 00:18:50,583 --> 00:18:56,250 I, Hercules, hereby surrender my godly powers to Thor. 442 00:18:58,125 --> 00:19:00,166 [thunder crashes] 443 00:19:05,667 --> 00:19:07,583 [Thor laughs] 444 00:19:07,667 --> 00:19:11,000 Come to your master, mighty hammer! 445 00:19:12,792 --> 00:19:14,500 Fenris, let's ice this deal. 446 00:19:14,583 --> 00:19:17,542 [growling] 447 00:19:17,625 --> 00:19:19,166 [roars] 448 00:19:20,375 --> 00:19:22,583 Oh, that's a might nippy, there. 449 00:19:22,667 --> 00:19:24,083 Yah. Yah, it's nippy. 450 00:19:24,166 --> 00:19:26,500 Traitorous trickster! 451 00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:28,041 Thor? 452 00:19:28,125 --> 00:19:29,750 Tsk-tsk-- labels, labels. 453 00:19:29,834 --> 00:19:31,375 You think the good guys are winning? 454 00:19:31,458 --> 00:19:34,333 Oh, yeah. I mean, with Thor in there, how can they lose? 455 00:19:39,166 --> 00:19:40,500 Now what? 456 00:19:40,583 --> 00:19:43,166 How should I know? I'm not a God. 457 00:19:43,250 --> 00:19:45,166 [man] But you are a hero, right? 458 00:19:45,250 --> 00:19:46,583 I mean, that's what your resume said. 459 00:19:46,667 --> 00:19:50,583 Yeah, but that's all I am-- Just a hero in training. 460 00:19:50,667 --> 00:19:53,000 I mean, I can't stop Ragnarok. 461 00:19:53,083 --> 00:19:55,083 Well, that's how Loki figured it. 462 00:19:55,166 --> 00:19:57,542 Me, I guess I don't see it that way. 463 00:19:57,625 --> 00:19:58,500 Really? 464 00:19:58,625 --> 00:20:02,375 Of course, the most important question is how do you see it? 465 00:20:03,458 --> 00:20:05,041 Okay, I'm happy to provide everybody 466 00:20:05,125 --> 00:20:06,166 with a new organizational chart 467 00:20:06,250 --> 00:20:07,875 that will reflect the new power structure. 468 00:20:07,959 --> 00:20:10,333 There's me, and then there's everybody else. 469 00:20:10,417 --> 00:20:12,875 [Phil] Sorry, hotshot. No can do. 470 00:20:12,959 --> 00:20:15,291 I'm afraid we've got creative differences, here. 471 00:20:15,375 --> 00:20:16,583 Don't you think, Herc? 472 00:20:16,667 --> 00:20:18,417 Please, you are so out of your league. 473 00:20:18,500 --> 00:20:21,333 I know, I know, it's the Thunder God's hammer. 474 00:20:21,417 --> 00:20:23,834 But, baby, consider me a stand-in! 475 00:20:24,667 --> 00:20:25,959 Whoa! Whoa! 476 00:20:26,041 --> 00:20:27,917 Whoo! 477 00:20:28,000 --> 00:20:30,125 Boffo, kid! You did it! 478 00:20:30,208 --> 00:20:32,000 [Fenris roars] 479 00:20:32,083 --> 00:20:33,083 Whoops. 480 00:20:33,166 --> 00:20:36,083 You know, we're kind of using that sun. 481 00:20:37,834 --> 00:20:39,166 [sizzling] 482 00:20:39,917 --> 00:20:41,750 [moaning] 483 00:20:42,583 --> 00:20:43,834 [crash] 484 00:20:43,917 --> 00:20:46,375 [growling] 485 00:20:46,875 --> 00:20:50,208 Giants. It had to be giants. 486 00:20:50,291 --> 00:20:52,417 Shake, battle, and roll, kid! 487 00:20:52,500 --> 00:20:54,083 I don't think so. 488 00:20:54,166 --> 00:20:55,458 Different kind of giant... 489 00:20:56,834 --> 00:20:58,709 Different kind of weapon. 490 00:21:00,834 --> 00:21:02,792 [moaning] 491 00:21:20,125 --> 00:21:21,625 [cheering] 492 00:21:24,375 --> 00:21:25,959 Yaah! 493 00:21:28,834 --> 00:21:30,750 Well, now, Loki, the trickster, 494 00:21:30,834 --> 00:21:32,500 vanquished by some southern kid. 495 00:21:32,583 --> 00:21:34,834 Yah [chuckles] that's not too bad a deal, there. 496 00:21:34,917 --> 00:21:37,709 Wait a minute, wait a minute. There was a whole kind of prophecy deal 497 00:21:37,792 --> 00:21:39,291 that, like, sort of, was destined, 498 00:21:39,375 --> 00:21:41,417 and now that's just forgotten, is that what's happening? 499 00:21:41,500 --> 00:21:42,542 Yeah, right. 500 00:21:42,625 --> 00:21:44,667 The Norns said Thor had to wield the hammer. 501 00:21:44,750 --> 00:21:46,375 Thor did wield the hammer, 502 00:21:46,458 --> 00:21:49,458 but the prophecy never said he had to hit anything with it. 503 00:21:49,542 --> 00:21:51,583 Turns out that was a job for Hercules. 504 00:21:51,667 --> 00:21:55,208 And, thanks to Loki, the kid was here to play his part. 505 00:21:55,291 --> 00:21:57,583 Yeah, well, happy to help. 506 00:21:57,834 --> 00:21:59,875 So, uh, how about a ride home? 507 00:21:59,959 --> 00:22:02,959 Why don't you stay? Join us! 508 00:22:03,041 --> 00:22:04,875 Uh, well, no offense, 509 00:22:04,959 --> 00:22:06,959 but I think I'd rather go back to Greece. 510 00:22:07,041 --> 00:22:10,458 Why? What does Greece have that Asgard doesn't? 511 00:22:10,542 --> 00:22:13,208 [shivers] Two words-- 512 00:22:13,291 --> 00:22:15,250 [Hercules] Mediterranean climate. 513 00:22:21,041 --> 00:22:24,083 [theme music playing] 36686

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