All language subtitles for Sullivan and Son S03E08

All right, this has been
here for two weeks.

Let's see what suggestions
people have to improve the bar.

Wow, I got some work to do.

This is a stupid idea.

Why would you ever want to
listen to your customers?

It's called
consumer feedback, ma.

It gives people a sense
of stakes in the bar.

Besides, there might be
something constructive in here.

Like, uh... "Tits."

Oh, yes.
That's very constructive.

Okay, okay. One bad one.
Here we go. Uh...

Ah, "a light appetizer menu
would be nice."

"See other side.

With tits."

Let's hear what more of your
genius customers have to say.

Oh, give the kid a break.

It's important to
listen to your customers.

"The Korean lady was rude,
threatening,

"and tried to run
our credit card twice.

We will never come back."

Joke's on them...
I did run it twice.

All right, all right.
Here's one. Um...

I believe this bar's harboring
a member of Al-Qaeda"?

What?

Sorry, I thought
it was a mailbox.

But your reaction's interesting.

"The hot paramedic who's always
in here should go out with me."

I hope it is that doctor who comes
in here after work in his scrubs

and that three-day scruff
with those biceps.

"Signed, Maurice."

At least you gave
the suggestion box a shot.

Well, I'm going down swinging.
I'm gonna read this last one.

Uh, "suggestion..."
That one's from me.

"...take two steps back
and two steps to your left."

Suggestion...
no more suggestions.

sync and corrections by bellows
www.addic7ed.com

♪ Da da da da,
da da da, da, da da ♪

♪ da, da da da, da da da

♪ da da da da,
da da da, da da da ♪

♪ da da da da, da da da,
da da da, da da da, hey! ♪

Wow. This new weather girl
is really on her game.

She's gotten the weather right
15 days in a row.

Steve,
you need to get out more.

Weather girls?

Whatever happened
to the good old days,

when weathermen were actual men

and had man names
like "storm field"

and "Sam Hail"
"Johnny Thunder"?

Just saying those names
makes me misty.

There's another one...
Frank Misty.

The new girl who does
the sports is really good, too.

Okay, now, this is where
I draw the line.

What the hell do women
know about sports?

That is so offensive.

Women can be just
as knowledgeable as men.

If you're gonna talk about
balls, you should have them.

Steve, two beers.

Well, someone's not
wasting any time today.

No, one of them's for my mom.
She's moving back to Pittsburgh.

That's great your mom's
moving back, Roy.

I know there's been some tension
between you and her

- since she and your dad split up.
- Yeah.

This will give us a chance
to make things better.

Hang out a little bit.

No complications...
just us.

I really want to be
close to my mom again.

You know, I think a good way
to start off would be

to get her a present...
like a man.

They're so much fun to unwrap.

And Denzel Washington is
filming a movie in Pittsburgh.

Don't ask me how I know,

but he's staying at the Ritz,
room 819.

Registered under
the name "Mr. Lincoln."

I don't want to think
about my mom dating.

Well, in case
you change your mind,

Cedric the entertainer is
at the Imperial motel, room 109.

Registered under the name
"Cedric the entertainer."

With your mom's face,

she'd have better luck
with Stevie Wonder.

You keep the jokes
coming, Hank.

She's outside
parking the car right now,

and it's gonna be
just like the old days...

she's gonna hear your racist
crap and rip you a new one.

Well, I hope so,

because the old one's
not working so great.

Those battles between
Hank and your mom were epic.

Yeah, remember that time
in pee-wee hockey

when Hank yelled at Roy...

"Why can't you skate?

I thought you people
were good with blades."

And then Roy's mom tried to
run Hank over with a zamboni.

Yeah, and when she got on,
it could barely move.

I never saw
a zamboni cry before.

You talking about me,
you weeble-shaped leprechaun?

Look at you, Hank.

I could say
you got old, bald, and fat,

but that's exactly
how I remember you.

Is that the best you got?

Well, the old gray mare,
she ain't what she used to be.

You calling me old?

And gray...

but one of them
isn't exactly accurate.

I should have said
"black beauty,"

but one of those
wouldn't be accurate, either.

Look who's judging beauty,
Mr. potato head.

Aw, shit!

Round one to mama.

Uh, not yet.
It's not over till she sings.

Well, I'll sing
at your funeral.

Just give me
a minute to change.

What are you gonna do, slip into
a bedazzled circus tent?

This from a man
whose belly leaves the room

10 minutes before he does?

You better go break it up.
Why me?

Steve, did I ever tell you
about the first time

your mother and I made love?

It was a windy day,
in the fields of Korea...

I'm going.

Rose, since the day
I bought this bar,

I've been looking to
get you a drink. Oh.

Make it the usual...

Hennessy
in a brown-paper bag.

And send the bill
to the American taxpayer!

Bang! Round two to
the great white hope.

Oh, just one punch, Hank,

and they'll call it
"the thrilla in vanilla"!

Come on, honey.
We have to go soon.

What are you guys doing?

My mom's taking me
to the dentist.

Yot afraid of the dentist.

I'm afraid of his laughing gas
and his erection.

Whoa, check her out.

Hey, wait a minute.
I know that girl. That's April.

We dated.
When?

We were on
the same flight together

coming back from Chicago.

That's not a date.

Yes, it is.

We had dinner, drinks,
and watched a movie.

Owen, that's a seat assignment.

I don't care what you say.
It was a date.

She never left my side.

She was strapped to a chair.

Now it sounds like a date.

I'm going to go talk to her.

You can't hit
on your buddy's ex.

She's not your ex.
You're out of your mind.

Dude, that's a major
bro-code violation.

Just don't, okay?

Fine, I'll stay away.

Thanks.

Steve, can I get
a ruling on this?

The girl in question just
looked over and smiled at me.

Well, as a lawyer, I would say
you made an implicit agreement.

I'd also say that
a plane flight is not a date,

and Owen is out of his mind.

Thanks, Steve.

So, Jack, you sold
the bar to Steve.

How does it feel being retired?

I'll let you know
after I wipe down the bar

and move
this 80-pound keg.

I'm going to have to
ask you to leave.

Your weave is a fire hazard.

Hank...

You are living proof
that even God gets drunk.

And you... you touch
me with that finger,

I'll put it where
you'll be giving yourself

a permanent prostate exam.

Touché, madam.

A tip of the big
Sunday church hat to you.

What the hell?

Can I talk to you?

Excuse me.

What are you doing? You promised
you wouldn't hit on April.

I didn't. She came onto me.
She's so aggressive.

What did she do?

She looked at me.

That's how she reeled me in
on the airplane.

And Steve said it was fine.

Steve, what the hell?

Ahmed's violating the bro code.

Owen, you were never
really dating her.

Yes, I was.

Without the bro code,
what do we have?

Tion for all modern law.

That and
"finders, keepers."

See? I found her...
I get to keep her.

You never had her.

I gave her my nuts.

Two bags.

I'm getting my woman back.

Try, and it'll be the
last thing you ever do.

Okay.

Looks like it's you
and me, buddy...

dude on dude.

Let me rephrase that...
dude vs. dude.

When you go down,
I'm going to enjoy it.

Let me rephrase that.

I could easily
get you to go down.

Do you want to rephrase that?

Nah, I'm good.
It's already working.

I'm already inside you.

This is weird.

How do we get out of this?

We can start
by taking a step back.

Holy shit.

Okay. What the hell
is going on here?

What did it look like?
We were getting hot and heavy.

Yeah. She's hot,
and I'm heavy.

Aren't you a clever
little tub of white goo.

Meet me later, hanky.

I'm gonna take you
to funky town.

I am the caboose
to her soul train.

I thought you hated each other.
What is going on?

I know it's weird.
She's Roy's mom.

That's not the only weird part.

How do you go from
calling each other "cracker"

and "chocolate thunder"
five minutes ago to this?

It's all a swirly blur.

I guess you don't fight
with somebody for 30 years

without some kind of
sparks flying.

I'm having fun with this lady.

But this is
a one-time thing, right?

What are you talking about?

She just invited me
to funky town.

Are you gonna tell Roy?

Stop asking me questions.

There's not much blood
in my brain right now.

I'll tell him when I need to.

What am I gonna
tell him, again?

See?! There's
no blood up here!

Psst!

You were in there
the whole time?

I fought in the jungles of Nam.

The first thing we learned?
How to crap quietly.

If rose starts dating Hank,
Roy is gonna freak out.

And that's gonna drive
an even bigger wedge

between him and his mom.

Yeah, it's gonna get ugly.

I suggest you stay out of it.

Now, if you'll excuse me,
I still need to, uh...

Well, I still need to...

Yeah, well...
All right.

You know, it's kind of nice,

having some
father/son time together.

Come on, April.
You must remember me.

We were on a flight
together from Chicago.

I'm sorry.

Maybe this will help...

"we're all gonna die!
We're all gonna die!"

Oh, Owen!
Right.

Yeah, from the flight
with the light turbulence.

Well, I wouldn't call it light.

Some people did put down
their reading material.

Thanks for stopping by, Owen.

Thanks, Ahmed, I will stay.

April and I have been through
some pretty crazy times...

the pre-board.

The board.

I helped her with
her overhead luggage.

Ahmed, you may not know this,

but April and I sat
in the exit row.

The entire plane's safety
was our responsibility.

Serving with someone
under those conditions

really forms a bond,
right, honey?

I didn't know
you were so funny.

You spent most of the flight
breathing into that paper bag.

April, let's ditch this
idiot and grab some dinner.

Or you could stay here,

and hang out with someone with
a normal amount of body hair.

I'm tired of my body hair
coming out of your mouth.

Let me rephrase that.

You guys are cute.

Why don't we just hang out here
and do some shots?

Sure you can handle that, Owen?

Last time we did shots,
you threw up.

Oh, he did that on the plane.

It's a lot of pressure
in the exit row.

Hey, you racist
pig in a blanket.

You ready to go to funky town?

Oh, that gets the motor going.

Follow me. I'll show you
where they store the good booze.

You just trying to
get my tipsy, right?

Am I that transparent?

Well, you are pretty white.

What's going on there?

Are the two uglies bumping?

I think that's a yes.

I'm putting a room rental
on his tab.

Mom, it's a bar,
not a bordello.

It's called diversifying
your portfolio.

All right, put it on.

Has anyone told Roy?

I don't think so.

I got this.

Stop. Hank's gonna tell him
when the time is right.

It's more fun toell him
when the time is wrong.

Have you seen my mom?

In what context?

In the "is she here?"
Context.

Oh.
When you put it like that...

What was the question again?

My mom.

I tried to call her, but she's
not answering her phone,

so I thought I'd come
down here and surprise her.

Oh, it'll be a surprise.
What?

What?
What?

She keeps butt-dialing me,
but she won't pick up the phone.

Here it goes again.

Hello? Hello?

Just these
weird muffled noises.

Oh, God.

I think she's with a man.

Good guess.
What?

What?
What?

I can't believe it.

Instead of hanging out
and spending time with me,

she's off with some guy.

Oh you won't think so.

What?
What?

I'm not doing this anymore.

Whew!

Mom?

Roy! I thought you were at work.

You weren't answering my calls,
so I came looking for you.

Well, here I am.
So, off to work you go.

Were you just smooching
in the storage room?

Oh, well, maybe.

Well, let's meet the man
who swept you off your feet.

Howdy-do.

All right, you got me.

That's a good one, Steve.

Good one.
And the lipstick, Hank?

Way to commit to the bit.

Roy, there's something
you should know...

your mother and I are
somewhat intimately involved.

Please, for the love of God,
somebody laugh.

You see?

Look at the pain on Roy's face.

This is hilarious.

You just need a little time
to get used to it.

Let me buy you a drink.
What'll you have, my boy?

Hey, now I can call you "boy"
witht tting in trouble.

This isn't happening.
This isn't happening.

This isn't happening. Look... look,
Roy, you've got to calm down.

No, I can't calm down. Can't
calm down. Can't calm down.

I haven't seen you like this

since we snuck into the movies
to see "Scream."

Except for that guy was jumping
on top of a college girl,

and not jumping on top
of my mama!

On top of my mama, on top
of my mama, on top of my mama!

Look... look, Roy, know
it aho to the system.

But... but give it time.
You'll come around.

He's right, Roy.
We're talking about Hank here.

He's a sweetheart.

And it would be
nice for your mom

to have a man in her life.

Yeah, but not a man

that's on the NAACP's
"most wanted" list.

I was on the NAACP's
"most wanted" list.

But it was for
a very different reason.

Carol's right.
Hank's harmless.

Yes, he says things
we all don't like,

but he's got a huge heart.

And not just because
it's enlarged.

I'm sorry. I can't.

Dude's been riding me
my whole life.

But now they're broken.
I don't know what to do.

I had a blast hanging out.
Here's my number.

You guys give me
a call sometime.

Bye.
See you later. Bye.

Cool, she left henumber for me.

No, Ahmed, she left
her number for me.

Okay, so, how do we
know who gets it?

Whoever's name
starts with "o."

Then "oh-med" gets it.

Not yet.

I'm thinking of a number
between 1 and 50.

27.

Damn! How do you
always do that?

You know, Owen,
you could have easily cheated.

You' right.
What number did you say again?

27.

How do you do that?

I'll tell you what,

I'll pay for the beer
and the shots.

Where's my wallet?

Oh, very funny.
Give me back my wallet.

Where's my keys?

Very funny.
Give me back my keys.

I'll give you back your keys
when you give me back my wallet.

Give me back
my frequent yogurt card.

I had eight stamps
on that card.

The next one was free.

Damn!

April ripped us off.

Wait, we can track her down,
she left her number.

It's...

123-456-789...10?

That bitch is gonna get
my free yogurt.

All right, enough.

Hank, I just want...

you're not Hank.

Mom, that's not Hank.
That's Stan the plumber.

I know, son.

It says it right there
on his shirt.

Get out of here, Stan!

Why are you yelling at him?
I'm the one you're mad at.

That's right.
You're embarrassing me.

You know why I don't spend
more time with you, Roy?

Because you are
always judging me.

I didn't used to.

Ever since you and dad
got divorced,

all you do is run around
acting all crazy.

I am not acting crazy.
I am just being myself.

For 35 years, I was who
your daddy wanted me to be,

and the mother
you needed me to be.

I just want us
to get along again.

Well, we'll start
getting along again

if you start accepnge
for who I am.

Right now,
mama's having a little fun.

I just want a little sugar
in my bowl.

Okay.
How about this?

I'll accept you if you
never again talk about

getting sugar in your bowl,

and, for God's sake,
get it at another bar.

And the next time

you feel like there's
something between us,

talk to me about it...
you're my mom.

I can do that.

Thanks, Roy.
I love you, son.

I love you, too.

You know what I don't love?

That I'm the only one using this
bathroom for the right reason.

I am glad you and your mum
are at a better place.

Is Hank okay with that decision?

Yeah, he'll be fine. It's
not like they were in love.

What song should I *** your mum with.
Love me tender or Ebony and ivory?

Oh God.

Someone has to tell him.

- Oh.
- I'll do it. - Nah

it's my mum, my situation.
I've got to do it.

Oh thank God.

Hank, have a seat.

You and my mum are
at two different places.

She wants to play the field,
you want something serious.

I know it was gonna come to this.

You're trying to break us up.

No, I'm not. My mother is seeing other man.

You're full of it.

Hey Stan, were you kissing
my mum in the bathroom?

Get out of here Stan!

- So you're telling the truth?
- Yeah.

Well I guess you're happy.

I mean, I wasn't crazy about it.

But also I don't wanna see you get hurt.

- Oh come on, you do too.
- No, I don't. You're my friend Hank.

Thanks Roy.

Not to sound like a Jew,

but couldn't you told me this
before I put my money in the jukebox?

- Wow.
- Double wow.

Wow wow.

You know what?

I don't feel good about the
way we did this the last time.

Me neither. I don't wanna
make the same mistake again.

Steve, will you hold
on on to our valuables?

sync and corrections by bellows
www.addic7ed.com