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1
00:00:05,329 --> 00:00:07,697
- You guys remember the Olsen twins?
- Mm-hmm.
2
00:00:07,731 --> 00:00:09,699
- They really grew up.
- They sure did.
3
00:00:09,733 --> 00:00:11,567
Which one would
you rather nail...
4
00:00:11,602 --> 00:00:13,236
Mary-Kate or Ashley?
5
00:00:13,303 --> 00:00:15,538
Which one played Zack,
and which one played Cody?
6
00:00:18,709 --> 00:00:21,210
Heads up, Steve.
It's Lyle Winkler.
7
00:00:21,245 --> 00:00:23,246
That dude is always trouble.
8
00:00:23,280 --> 00:00:26,048
- Yeah, what's he doing here?
- Guys, give Lyle a chance.
9
00:00:26,116 --> 00:00:28,317
Remember after our team
blew out his team in hockey?
10
00:00:28,352 --> 00:00:30,353
It changed him.
He became a different guy.
11
00:00:30,387 --> 00:00:32,154
Hello, Sullivan.
12
00:00:34,591 --> 00:00:36,626
Hey, Lyle.
What have you been up to?
13
00:00:36,693 --> 00:00:38,261
Well, after
that ass-whipping
14
00:00:38,328 --> 00:00:40,229
you put on me and my
peewee hockey team,
15
00:00:40,264 --> 00:00:41,697
I got a little introspective.
16
00:00:41,732 --> 00:00:43,499
I read
"chicken soup for the soul."
17
00:00:43,533 --> 00:00:45,635
I keep a copy
right next to me on the can.
18
00:00:45,669 --> 00:00:47,169
Real good reading.
19
00:00:47,204 --> 00:00:48,437
I'm very happy for you, Lyle.
20
00:00:48,472 --> 00:00:50,072
Well, it's thanks to you,
Sullivan.
21
00:00:50,107 --> 00:00:51,674
What you said to me
last time I saw you
22
00:00:51,708 --> 00:00:53,242
really hit home, you know?
23
00:00:53,310 --> 00:00:55,945
All that talk about winning
not being everything...
24
00:00:55,979 --> 00:00:58,114
that pussy talk...
it really sunk in.
25
00:00:58,148 --> 00:01:00,483
I should write a book...
"Pussy talk for dummies."
26
00:01:01,985 --> 00:01:03,625
And, uh, now that
we're all getting along,
27
00:01:03,654 --> 00:01:05,021
I've got some good news.
28
00:01:05,055 --> 00:01:06,122
I've opened a business.
29
00:01:06,156 --> 00:01:07,923
It's right across the street.
30
00:01:07,958 --> 00:01:10,119
Kind of a meeting place where
the community can gather.
31
00:01:10,127 --> 00:01:11,460
Like a coffee shop.
32
00:01:11,495 --> 00:01:13,095
Kind of, but more adult.
33
00:01:13,130 --> 00:01:15,598
No, this is a place
where I'm gonna serve pretzels,
34
00:01:15,632 --> 00:01:18,067
have some sports on TV,
serve some drinks.
35
00:01:18,135 --> 00:01:19,302
That sounds like a bar.
36
00:01:19,336 --> 00:01:21,304
Yeah, that's pretty much
what it is.
37
00:01:21,338 --> 00:01:24,573
You're opening a bar across
the street from Sullivan & Son?
38
00:01:24,608 --> 00:01:27,543
It sounds so personal
when you say it like that.
39
00:01:27,577 --> 00:01:30,446
You're calling it Lyle & Son?
40
00:01:30,480 --> 00:01:33,316
I hope you like it.
It just came to me.
41
00:01:33,350 --> 00:01:35,151
See you, Sullivan.
42
00:01:36,030 --> 00:01:39,030
sync and corrections by bellows
www.addic7ed.com
43
00:01:39,256 --> 00:01:43,592
♪ Da da da da,
da da da, da, da da ♪
44
00:01:43,627 --> 00:01:47,730
♪ da, da da da, da da da ♪
45
00:01:47,764 --> 00:01:52,001
♪ da da da da,
da da da, da da da ♪
46
00:01:52,035 --> 00:01:57,606
♪ da da da da, da da da,
da da da, da da da, hey! ♪
47
00:01:57,641 --> 00:01:59,308
Can you believe this guy?
48
00:01:59,343 --> 00:02:02,378
Lyle's bar's got 16 3-d tvs,
complete NFL package.
49
00:02:02,412 --> 00:02:04,046
He's even got
a taquito station.
50
00:02:04,081 --> 00:02:07,683
Taquito...
Spanish for "small taquit."
51
00:02:09,186 --> 00:02:11,146
You know, if he thinks
he's gonna compete with me,
52
00:02:11,154 --> 00:02:12,354
he's got another think coming.
53
00:02:12,389 --> 00:02:13,322
I'm gonna kick his ass.
54
00:02:13,357 --> 00:02:14,990
There's only one way
55
00:02:15,025 --> 00:02:19,028
to deal with a competitor
from the outside... muscle.
56
00:02:19,062 --> 00:02:20,229
What are you talking about?
57
00:02:20,263 --> 00:02:22,465
Lyle's driving down the street.
58
00:02:22,499 --> 00:02:24,567
He realizes
his brakes don't work.
59
00:02:25,669 --> 00:02:29,939
He's walking down the stairs,
and there's a step missing.
60
00:02:29,973 --> 00:02:33,409
He's sleeping in his bed...
he's hit with a hammer.
61
00:02:35,112 --> 00:02:38,047
It's a dangerous
neighborhood, Steve.
62
00:02:38,081 --> 00:02:41,350
Accidents happen.
63
00:02:41,418 --> 00:02:45,254
Years ago, I spearheaded
a business association
64
00:02:45,288 --> 00:02:47,390
of merchants
in the neighborhood.
65
00:02:47,457 --> 00:02:50,593
Are you saying
you started a mafia?
66
00:02:50,627 --> 00:02:53,429
Just say the word, Steve,
67
00:02:53,497 --> 00:02:54,997
and a poison dart
68
00:02:55,031 --> 00:02:57,533
will magically hit Lyle
in the back of the head.
69
00:02:57,567 --> 00:02:59,402
Untraceable...
70
00:02:59,436 --> 00:03:02,538
But sends a message.
71
00:03:02,606 --> 00:03:05,241
Look, look, Lyle doesn't
scare me, all right?
72
00:03:05,275 --> 00:03:06,876
I worked on wall street.
73
00:03:06,910 --> 00:03:09,078
I can handle myself
in a competitive marketplace.
74
00:03:09,112 --> 00:03:11,981
Hey, guys, listen, I need you
to go over to Lyle's,
75
00:03:12,015 --> 00:03:14,016
do some recon,
observe, take notes,
76
00:03:14,050 --> 00:03:15,951
find out where he's vulnerable.
77
00:03:15,986 --> 00:03:17,153
Yeah, we can do that.
Yeah.
78
00:03:17,220 --> 00:03:18,521
We'll report back in an hour.
79
00:03:20,457 --> 00:03:22,558
Hey, Carol, who's the guy?
80
00:03:22,592 --> 00:03:24,026
He's my new boss.
81
00:03:24,060 --> 00:03:27,196
Jack, I just got
a promotion at the DMV.
82
00:03:27,264 --> 00:03:28,931
It's a dream job.
83
00:03:28,965 --> 00:03:32,435
It requires no effort,
thought, or movement.
84
00:03:32,469 --> 00:03:34,403
That does sound pretty great.
85
00:03:34,438 --> 00:03:35,905
Well, it's not perfect.
86
00:03:35,939 --> 00:03:37,239
It's just me and Ralph,
87
00:03:37,307 --> 00:03:40,142
and... he thinks
he's a comedian.
88
00:03:40,177 --> 00:03:41,444
You mean he tells jokes
all day?
89
00:03:41,511 --> 00:03:43,446
Worse.
He does impressions.
90
00:03:43,513 --> 00:03:44,547
But I can handle it.
91
00:03:44,614 --> 00:03:46,315
I just smile
at everything he says
92
00:03:46,349 --> 00:03:47,950
and act like I'm enjoying it.
93
00:03:47,984 --> 00:03:49,185
That's got to be tough.
94
00:03:49,219 --> 00:03:51,487
Ask any woman.
It's really not.
95
00:03:53,256 --> 00:03:54,723
Here you go, Ralph.
96
00:03:54,758 --> 00:03:56,425
Thanks, Carol.
97
00:03:56,493 --> 00:03:59,328
But I think we're gonna
need a third drink...
98
00:03:59,396 --> 00:04:04,166
one for me, one for you,
and one for Mr. Robin Williams.
99
00:04:04,201 --> 00:04:06,068
Oh, don't encourage him!
100
00:04:06,102 --> 00:04:08,070
He'll just keep going,
like the energizer bunny!
101
00:04:08,104 --> 00:04:10,206
On speed! Step, two, kick,
three, hit drum, and spin!
102
00:04:10,240 --> 00:04:11,540
Madonna! Madonna!
103
00:04:11,575 --> 00:04:14,410
Lady Gaga! Lady Gaga!
104
00:04:14,444 --> 00:04:17,613
Robin Williams... I-it was funny
in the car ride over.
105
00:04:17,681 --> 00:04:20,649
A-and it's still funny now.
106
00:04:20,684 --> 00:04:23,419
What do you mean, "funny"?
107
00:04:23,453 --> 00:04:26,889
I morphed
into my Joe pesci impression.
108
00:04:26,923 --> 00:04:28,891
Funny like a clown?
109
00:04:28,925 --> 00:04:31,360
I amuse you?
How am I funny?
110
00:04:31,394 --> 00:04:33,395
Yay!
111
00:04:33,430 --> 00:04:34,897
Okay.
112
00:04:34,931 --> 00:04:36,665
Any more people,
we'll need a bigger table.
113
00:04:38,502 --> 00:04:40,202
Hey, dad, have you
seen the guys?
114
00:04:40,237 --> 00:04:41,477
I thought
they'd be back by now.
115
00:04:41,505 --> 00:04:43,072
It's been a couple hours.
116
00:04:43,106 --> 00:04:46,342
I haven't seen them,
and you're not gonna like this.
117
00:04:46,376 --> 00:04:48,477
Check out the best bar
in Pittsburgh.
118
00:04:48,512 --> 00:04:50,379
Grand opening up.
Lyle & Son.
119
00:04:50,413 --> 00:04:53,148
Aw, yeah!
120
00:04:53,183 --> 00:04:54,383
Advertising on my turf?
121
00:04:54,417 --> 00:04:55,651
All right,
this is out of control.
122
00:04:55,685 --> 00:04:56,952
I'm going over there.
123
00:04:56,987 --> 00:04:58,454
And, you, get off my property.
124
00:04:58,488 --> 00:05:01,390
Yeah, beat it.
This is Sullivan turf.
125
00:05:01,424 --> 00:05:03,025
Spinning a sign.
126
00:05:03,059 --> 00:05:05,227
Your parents must be so proud.
127
00:05:05,262 --> 00:05:08,130
I make $120,000 a year
doing this.
128
00:05:08,164 --> 00:05:10,165
Really?
129
00:05:10,200 --> 00:05:13,035
Are they looking for people?
130
00:05:24,347 --> 00:05:25,548
Son of a bitch.
131
00:05:25,615 --> 00:05:27,917
He took my bar and made it fun.
132
00:05:27,984 --> 00:05:29,652
Uh, what's going on, guys?
133
00:05:29,686 --> 00:05:32,388
You were supposed to
be back in an hour.
134
00:05:32,422 --> 00:05:33,656
We're doing recon.
135
00:05:34,958 --> 00:05:36,592
We're wrapping up our research.
136
00:05:36,626 --> 00:05:38,060
We're almost out of here.
137
00:05:39,062 --> 00:05:40,329
Where's Owen?
138
00:05:40,397 --> 00:05:42,464
I'm swimming!
I'm swimming!
139
00:05:43,967 --> 00:05:45,000
Steve.
140
00:05:48,705 --> 00:05:50,472
Mel.
141
00:05:50,507 --> 00:05:52,374
Mel! I swear to God,
I will break your...
142
00:05:52,442 --> 00:05:54,710
oh, my God, Steve.
143
00:05:54,744 --> 00:05:57,146
Hi.
144
00:05:57,213 --> 00:05:59,381
Welcome to Lyle & Son.
I'm Pepper.
145
00:05:59,416 --> 00:06:01,250
Do you think you
could come cheer for me
146
00:06:01,284 --> 00:06:02,551
in the mud-wrestling
contest?
147
00:06:02,586 --> 00:06:06,021
I'm fighting Shauna,
and she's a bad girl.
148
00:06:06,056 --> 00:06:07,856
Holy shit.
149
00:06:07,891 --> 00:06:09,091
Good luck.
150
00:06:10,393 --> 00:06:11,660
Sullivan.
Glad you came.
151
00:06:11,695 --> 00:06:13,295
We were starting to feel bad
152
00:06:13,330 --> 00:06:15,164
having such a great time
without you.
153
00:06:15,198 --> 00:06:17,399
Pick a beer from our beer map.
154
00:06:17,467 --> 00:06:19,368
You're selling beer for $1?
155
00:06:19,402 --> 00:06:21,570
Uh-huh. Lyle, I-I'm
in the bar business.
156
00:06:21,605 --> 00:06:23,672
I know what this costs...
the food, the servers...
157
00:06:23,707 --> 00:06:26,875
The implants.
158
00:06:26,910 --> 00:06:28,310
You can't be making any money.
159
00:06:28,345 --> 00:06:29,545
I'm not.
160
00:06:29,579 --> 00:06:31,046
Oh, I get it.
161
00:06:31,081 --> 00:06:32,514
You're not interested
in running a bar.
162
00:06:32,549 --> 00:06:34,516
You're interested
in running me out of business.
163
00:06:34,551 --> 00:06:36,051
- Bingo.
- Why?
164
00:06:36,119 --> 00:06:38,487
Take a step over
to my motivational corner.
165
00:06:41,958 --> 00:06:43,292
Our middle-school
newspaper?
166
00:06:43,326 --> 00:06:44,994
See that article right there?
167
00:06:45,061 --> 00:06:47,896
Uh, "Sullivan beats Winkler
and takes wrestling title."
168
00:06:47,964 --> 00:06:49,164
Oh, yeah.
Forgot about that.
169
00:06:49,199 --> 00:06:50,399
You forgot?
170
00:06:50,433 --> 00:06:53,035
The most significant day
of my life?
171
00:06:53,103 --> 00:06:54,436
Y-you're kidding, right?
172
00:06:54,471 --> 00:06:56,271
You see that empty shelf
right there, right?
173
00:06:56,306 --> 00:06:59,975
The wrestling trophy that
you stole belongs on it.
174
00:07:00,043 --> 00:07:01,944
After you beat me,
I was so embarrassed,
175
00:07:01,978 --> 00:07:05,514
I turned to food, then to dance,
then back to food.
176
00:07:05,548 --> 00:07:08,484
You opened a bar
because I beat you at wrestling?
177
00:07:08,518 --> 00:07:11,020
You took away from me
what I was best at,
178
00:07:11,054 --> 00:07:14,189
and now I am gonna take away
from you what you are best at.
179
00:07:14,257 --> 00:07:15,457
You go ahead and try.
180
00:07:15,492 --> 00:07:17,960
Sullivan & Son has been
around for 60 years,
181
00:07:17,994 --> 00:07:19,995
and you know what?
We'll be around for another 60.
182
00:07:20,030 --> 00:07:26,168
I don't know, Sullivan. Your buddies
seem to really like it here.
183
00:07:26,202 --> 00:07:27,469
I don't care what you do, Lyle.
184
00:07:27,504 --> 00:07:28,904
It's gonna take more
than a couple of boobs
185
00:07:28,938 --> 00:07:30,039
and some games
to bring me down.
186
00:07:30,073 --> 00:07:31,974
Hey, guys, we're out of here.
187
00:07:32,008 --> 00:07:33,642
Yeah. All right. Pepper!
188
00:07:33,677 --> 00:07:36,245
And the judges for today's
wet t-shirt competition
189
00:07:36,279 --> 00:07:38,447
will be Ahmed, Owen, and Roy.
190
00:07:39,949 --> 00:07:41,917
Really, guys? After all
these years of friendship,
191
00:07:41,951 --> 00:07:43,519
all it takes is
a few girls in t-shirts?
192
00:07:43,553 --> 00:07:45,421
Who wants to spray us down?
193
00:07:58,103 --> 00:07:59,871
Is this Sullivan & son?
194
00:07:59,905 --> 00:08:01,172
Yes, it is.
195
00:08:01,206 --> 00:08:03,007
Oh, sorry. We were
looking for Lyle & Son.
196
00:08:03,042 --> 00:08:05,410
Get out!
197
00:08:05,444 --> 00:08:08,446
Carol, you know who's coming
to the DMV tomorrow...
198
00:08:08,480 --> 00:08:09,814
three presidents.
199
00:08:09,882 --> 00:08:12,383
Really? I thought we were
done with the presidents.
200
00:08:12,451 --> 00:08:15,086
Well,
Carol, you're either with us...
201
00:08:15,120 --> 00:08:16,821
Or you're against us.
202
00:08:16,855 --> 00:08:19,190
We need you when we invade
the Iraqi guy's cubicle.
203
00:08:20,559 --> 00:08:22,727
Isn't that right, Bill Clinton?
204
00:08:22,761 --> 00:08:24,862
Oh, you bet it is.
205
00:08:24,897 --> 00:08:26,764
What do you think,
Barack Obama?
206
00:08:26,799 --> 00:08:28,700
I think it'll be fine
207
00:08:28,734 --> 00:08:30,802
as long as you, uh,
start slow in the beginning,
208
00:08:30,836 --> 00:08:32,537
uh, and, uh,
speed up at the end.
209
00:08:32,571 --> 00:08:34,639
That was pretty good, man.
210
00:08:34,673 --> 00:08:36,641
I thought it was great,
211
00:08:36,675 --> 00:08:38,076
and, Carol, you look fantastic.
212
00:08:38,110 --> 00:08:40,111
Yay!
213
00:08:42,681 --> 00:08:44,082
- How'd it go?
- That guy's a prick.
214
00:08:44,116 --> 00:08:45,983
He's deliberately
undercutting us.
215
00:08:46,051 --> 00:08:48,453
Kid, you're
panicking for nothing.
216
00:08:48,487 --> 00:08:51,589
The bar business
has its ups and downs.
217
00:08:51,623 --> 00:08:54,025
Lyle is not a threat,
and you know why?
218
00:08:54,093 --> 00:08:57,562
Because as long as we got
Hank and his buddies,
219
00:08:57,596 --> 00:08:59,197
we have a solid business.
220
00:08:59,231 --> 00:09:01,499
Hank... Is a bell cow.
221
00:09:01,567 --> 00:09:04,035
Wherever he goes, they go.
222
00:09:04,069 --> 00:09:06,504
Hello, Sullivan.
223
00:09:06,538 --> 00:09:07,672
Winkler.
224
00:09:07,706 --> 00:09:09,006
Where's my good buddy Hank?
225
00:09:09,074 --> 00:09:10,174
What do you want with Hank?
226
00:09:10,209 --> 00:09:11,676
Oh, nothing.
227
00:09:11,710 --> 00:09:12,777
Pepper!
228
00:09:14,780 --> 00:09:16,647
I'm, uh, Lyle Winkler, Hank.
229
00:09:16,715 --> 00:09:18,616
I opened a bar
across the street.
230
00:09:18,650 --> 00:09:20,084
This basket is for you.
231
00:09:20,119 --> 00:09:23,387
We would be very interested
in having you visit us.
232
00:09:23,422 --> 00:09:25,890
Oh, my.
I'm being courted.
233
00:09:25,924 --> 00:09:29,026
Well, those are the ugliest
roses I've ever seen.
234
00:09:29,061 --> 00:09:30,728
They're made of bacon.
235
00:09:30,796 --> 00:09:33,965
Those are the most beautiful
roses I've ever seen.
236
00:09:33,999 --> 00:09:37,668
And please accept this finely
aged scotch, Cuban cigars,
237
00:09:37,736 --> 00:09:40,138
and a DVD set of the finest
detective show ever...
238
00:09:40,172 --> 00:09:41,572
"Columbo."
239
00:09:41,607 --> 00:09:44,142
You, sir, have done
your homework.
240
00:09:44,176 --> 00:09:47,111
Lyle, Hank doesn't want to
hear your line of crap.
241
00:09:47,146 --> 00:09:48,780
It's not crap.
242
00:09:48,814 --> 00:09:51,983
Doesn't Hank deserve to be
taken care of and cherished?
243
00:09:52,017 --> 00:09:53,918
Yeah, don't I?
244
00:09:53,986 --> 00:09:56,454
Well, we cherish you, Hank.
245
00:09:58,957 --> 00:10:01,859
Yeah, well, you never
gave me a bacon rose.
246
00:10:01,894 --> 00:10:03,174
Sullivan,
you don't respect Hank.
247
00:10:03,195 --> 00:10:04,796
You're just trying to buy him.
248
00:10:04,830 --> 00:10:07,598
Hank, I see you as a real person
with real feelings.
249
00:10:07,666 --> 00:10:09,867
I've never
been the pretty girl,
250
00:10:09,902 --> 00:10:10,968
always the funny friend.
251
00:10:12,738 --> 00:10:15,039
You're not just
the pretty girl, Hank.
252
00:10:15,073 --> 00:10:17,642
You're my pretty girl.
253
00:10:18,744 --> 00:10:20,878
This one over here
called me a cow.
254
00:10:20,913 --> 00:10:23,014
Come to where you're valued.
255
00:10:23,048 --> 00:10:25,650
There go the regulars.
Lyle's gonna win.
256
00:10:25,684 --> 00:10:28,019
No, he's not.
Your dad started this bar,
257
00:10:28,053 --> 00:10:30,154
and now I'm running it...
the bar stays.
258
00:10:30,189 --> 00:10:32,790
Look, I've always found a way
to defeat this guy.
259
00:10:32,825 --> 00:10:34,592
I just need to get in his head.
260
00:10:34,626 --> 00:10:37,628
Lyle's a bully, and bullies
have one weakness... their ego.
261
00:10:37,663 --> 00:10:41,499
Steve, Steve, Steve.
262
00:10:41,533 --> 00:10:45,169
There's a much more efficient
way to deal with this.
263
00:10:45,204 --> 00:10:48,072
Let the association handle it.
264
00:10:48,106 --> 00:10:50,775
You know the subway
down the street
265
00:10:50,809 --> 00:10:52,677
owned by the Kim family?
266
00:10:52,711 --> 00:10:57,982
One day, someone from outside
wanted to open a Quiznos.
267
00:10:58,016 --> 00:11:01,219
Next thing you know,
they disappearedznos.
268
00:11:07,860 --> 00:11:09,527
Sullivan.
269
00:11:09,595 --> 00:11:12,630
Man, I got to hand it to you.
You got a nice place here.
270
00:11:12,698 --> 00:11:15,266
You got everything you need.
You got my friends.
271
00:11:17,502 --> 00:11:18,736
You've got my best customer.
272
00:11:22,007 --> 00:11:26,143
But, uh, here's the one thing
you don't have.
273
00:11:26,211 --> 00:11:28,813
Ohh! The trophy!
274
00:11:28,847 --> 00:11:31,549
That's right... the trophy.
275
00:11:31,583 --> 00:11:32,483
Can I touch it?
276
00:11:32,517 --> 00:11:33,718
Ask nicely.
277
00:11:33,752 --> 00:11:35,586
Please.
Sure.
278
00:11:35,621 --> 00:11:36,721
Psych!
279
00:11:36,788 --> 00:11:38,856
Damn you to hell, Sullivan!
280
00:11:38,891 --> 00:11:40,625
Why so angry, Lyle?
281
00:11:40,659 --> 00:11:45,196
Is it because I'm the best
wrestler in the whole 8th grade?
282
00:11:45,230 --> 00:11:46,497
Take it back!
283
00:11:46,531 --> 00:11:47,665
No backsies.
284
00:11:47,699 --> 00:11:49,233
I'll always be
the best wrestler.
285
00:11:49,268 --> 00:11:50,801
And even if you
shut down my bar,
286
00:11:50,869 --> 00:11:54,171
I'll always be
the best bartender.
287
00:11:54,206 --> 00:11:57,108
Well, good day, Winkler.
Enjoy your bar.
288
00:11:58,277 --> 00:11:59,577
Sullivan, wait.
289
00:11:59,645 --> 00:12:02,179
Yes?
290
00:12:02,214 --> 00:12:04,048
What do I got to do
to get that trophy?
291
00:12:04,082 --> 00:12:06,050
Oh. I don't know.
292
00:12:06,084 --> 00:12:07,852
Off the top of my head...
293
00:12:07,886 --> 00:12:09,754
bartending competition?
294
00:12:09,788 --> 00:12:11,188
Okay, Sullivan, it's on.
295
00:12:11,223 --> 00:12:13,624
If you win,
I close down this bar,
296
00:12:13,692 --> 00:12:16,861
but if I win, I get that
8th-grade wrestling trophy.
297
00:12:16,895 --> 00:12:18,663
- Seriously?
- Yeah, is that weird?
298
00:12:18,697 --> 00:12:22,166
No, no, no, no.
Makes perfect sense.
299
00:12:22,200 --> 00:12:23,734
See you, Winkler.
300
00:12:23,769 --> 00:12:25,770
Goodbye, former friends.
301
00:12:28,040 --> 00:12:29,840
Before you go, Sullivan,
you should know
302
00:12:29,875 --> 00:12:31,642
I trained for eight months
303
00:12:31,677 --> 00:12:33,177
under legendary bartender
sir James Benedict
304
00:12:33,245 --> 00:12:34,912
at the Dorchester in London.
305
00:12:36,148 --> 00:12:37,748
I did not know that.
306
00:12:45,323 --> 00:12:47,190
Hi, Steve.
307
00:12:47,225 --> 00:12:49,025
Well, look who's back.
308
00:12:49,060 --> 00:12:50,794
I'm sorry, buddy.
We were weak.
309
00:12:50,828 --> 00:12:53,263
But that's over.
We're here for you.
310
00:12:55,032 --> 00:12:56,032
"Ste"?
311
00:12:56,100 --> 00:12:57,801
Wait for it.
312
00:12:57,835 --> 00:12:59,402
Go, Steve!
313
00:12:59,437 --> 00:13:01,838
Whoo!
314
00:13:01,873 --> 00:13:03,673
All right, guys.
All right, all right.
315
00:13:03,708 --> 00:13:05,108
- Y-you're forgiven.
- Thanks, pal.
316
00:13:05,143 --> 00:13:06,376
- We love you.
- We love you, buddy.
317
00:13:06,410 --> 00:13:07,778
- Good guy.
- Thank you.
318
00:13:07,812 --> 00:13:09,112
Dad, I'm really nervous.
I got to win.
319
00:13:09,147 --> 00:13:11,014
It's the only way we're gonna
get rid of this guy.
320
00:13:11,082 --> 00:13:14,217
Relax, kid. You come
from a family of bartenders.
321
00:13:14,252 --> 00:13:15,886
You got it in the bag.
322
00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:18,288
He studied for eight months
at the Dorchester in London.
323
00:13:18,322 --> 00:13:20,423
I did not know that.
324
00:13:21,492 --> 00:13:24,828
Steve...
Look over there.
325
00:13:24,862 --> 00:13:26,763
That's the association.
326
00:13:29,066 --> 00:13:31,268
Is that my pediatrician?
327
00:13:31,335 --> 00:13:35,238
Out of respect, we're letting
you go through with this,
328
00:13:35,273 --> 00:13:37,407
but we put a clock on you.
329
00:13:37,441 --> 00:13:40,877
You don't solve this tonight,
our hands are tied.
330
00:13:40,912 --> 00:13:42,746
Capisce?
331
00:13:44,348 --> 00:13:47,450
I'm here.
Let the games begin.
332
00:13:47,485 --> 00:13:49,853
Thanks for having the
competition here, Sullivan.
333
00:13:49,887 --> 00:13:51,321
My place is so packed
with customers
334
00:13:51,355 --> 00:13:52,989
it would have cut
into my business.
335
00:13:53,024 --> 00:13:54,357
Well, enjoy
your customers, Lyle,
336
00:13:54,392 --> 00:13:55,759
because when your doors close,
337
00:13:55,827 --> 00:13:57,127
you're all coming
back to my bar.
338
00:13:57,161 --> 00:13:59,729
Good afternoon,
ladies and gentlemen.
339
00:13:59,764 --> 00:14:01,231
I am the pub master
340
00:14:01,299 --> 00:14:04,134
for the greater Pittsburgh area
barkeeper's guild,
341
00:14:04,202 --> 00:14:07,804
and I will be judging
today's best-of-three event
342
00:14:07,872 --> 00:14:10,707
covering all aspects
of bartending.
343
00:14:10,775 --> 00:14:12,309
Let's let the games begin!
344
00:14:15,046 --> 00:14:16,813
This is so exciting.
345
00:14:16,848 --> 00:14:18,815
- It needs a narrator.
- N-no, it doesn't.
346
00:14:18,850 --> 00:14:20,884
W-w-we can really enjoy it
without the talking.
347
00:14:20,918 --> 00:14:23,153
I wish you would have said that
348
00:14:23,221 --> 00:14:25,088
before Morgan Freeman
showed up.
349
00:14:25,122 --> 00:14:29,793
No, no. He... he's old.
He shouldn't be up this late.
350
00:14:29,827 --> 00:14:32,229
The truth is, Ralph and Carol
351
00:14:32,263 --> 00:14:34,898
had never expected to see
this sort of competition.
352
00:14:37,401 --> 00:14:39,836
But there it was.
353
00:14:41,205 --> 00:14:44,040
Our first challenge is called
"what's in the drink?"
354
00:14:44,075 --> 00:14:45,375
Mr. Winkler, pick a card.
355
00:14:47,511 --> 00:14:51,081
Gin and tonic.
Boy, that's a toughie.
356
00:14:51,148 --> 00:14:53,516
Well, you got your gin,
you got your tonic,
357
00:14:53,551 --> 00:14:55,051
you got your lime garnish.
358
00:14:55,086 --> 00:14:56,186
Correct.
359
00:14:56,254 --> 00:14:58,355
Mr. Sullivan.
360
00:14:58,389 --> 00:15:03,460
All right, uh, Wadsworth club
Christmas punch. Seriously?
361
00:15:03,494 --> 00:15:07,464
All right, uh, cream,
nutmeg, Brandy,
362
00:15:07,498 --> 00:15:10,433
cinnamon, rum,
and a bottle of champagne.
363
00:15:10,501 --> 00:15:12,402
I'm sorry, you missed
one ingredient.
364
00:15:12,436 --> 00:15:15,672
Mr. Winkler, if you can name the
ingredient, you get the point.
365
00:15:15,706 --> 00:15:17,941
Candied mint sprig.
366
00:15:18,009 --> 00:15:19,743
You are correct.
Point for Lyle.
367
00:15:21,913 --> 00:15:25,482
Our second event
is the tri-barthalon.
368
00:15:25,516 --> 00:15:28,685
On your marks, get set, go.
369
00:15:38,162 --> 00:15:42,132
One, two, three, four five!
370
00:15:46,037 --> 00:15:50,173
Mr. Winkler, the time to beat
is 18.3 seconds.
371
00:15:50,207 --> 00:15:53,410
On your mark, get set, go!
372
00:15:53,444 --> 00:15:55,912
Screw that.
You can have that point.
373
00:15:58,783 --> 00:16:00,283
As we wait
374
00:16:00,351 --> 00:16:02,485
for the march of the
bartenders to continue,
375
00:16:02,553 --> 00:16:06,222
we check in with our old
friend Robin Williams.
376
00:16:06,257 --> 00:16:09,159
And you
should have seen the little people.
377
00:16:09,193 --> 00:16:10,794
You wouldn't believe it.
It was amazing.
378
00:16:10,828 --> 00:16:13,063
No, no, no, no, no,
stop, stop, stop, stop, stop!
379
00:16:13,097 --> 00:16:14,464
I can't take it.
380
00:16:14,498 --> 00:16:16,366
It's the impressions, right?
381
00:16:16,434 --> 00:16:18,001
I do too many.
382
00:16:18,069 --> 00:16:20,870
I-I thought I could handle it,
but I really can't.
383
00:16:20,905 --> 00:16:22,839
I know.
I-I've tried to quit.
384
00:16:22,873 --> 00:16:25,108
But every time I do,
385
00:16:25,142 --> 00:16:28,845
they keep... pullin' me
back I-I-in!
386
00:16:28,879 --> 00:16:31,681
Ralph, you're a very sweet man,
387
00:16:31,716 --> 00:16:33,917
but it's hard for me
to be around you.
388
00:16:33,985 --> 00:16:36,019
All these voices
and impressions...
389
00:16:36,053 --> 00:16:37,387
it's too much.
390
00:16:37,455 --> 00:16:40,223
But thank you
for the opportunity.
391
00:16:40,257 --> 00:16:42,125
I understand.
392
00:16:42,193 --> 00:16:45,762
You were
the best assistant I ever had.
393
00:16:45,830 --> 00:16:47,397
I'm gonna miss you,
Carol Walsh.
394
00:16:47,431 --> 00:16:51,201
Is that Sean Connery?
395
00:16:51,235 --> 00:16:53,169
Would you
work for Sean Connery?
396
00:16:53,204 --> 00:16:55,338
And only Sean Connery?
397
00:16:55,373 --> 00:16:57,807
Could he occasionally have
Willie Nelson over? No.
398
00:16:57,842 --> 00:16:59,542
What about Liza Minnelli?
No!
399
00:17:01,045 --> 00:17:04,781
Sit back down
and enjoy your drink, Moneypenny.
400
00:17:04,849 --> 00:17:08,218
Oh, I don't mind if I do.
401
00:17:08,252 --> 00:17:12,756
So it all comes down to this
final event... bar therapy.
402
00:17:12,790 --> 00:17:15,825
The contestants will console
a troubled bar patron
403
00:17:15,860 --> 00:17:16,993
of their choice.
404
00:17:17,061 --> 00:17:18,094
Mr. Winkler.
405
00:17:18,162 --> 00:17:20,230
Okay, I choose this guy.
406
00:17:20,264 --> 00:17:22,298
How you doing today, buddy?
407
00:17:22,366 --> 00:17:23,733
Not good.
408
00:17:23,768 --> 00:17:25,468
My wife and I
just got in a big fight.
409
00:17:25,503 --> 00:17:27,003
And whose fault is that?!
410
00:17:27,038 --> 00:17:29,305
Hmm, let me guess...
you want him to listen more.
411
00:17:29,340 --> 00:17:31,241
And you want more sex.
412
00:17:31,308 --> 00:17:32,842
Yeah, that's pretty much it.
413
00:17:32,877 --> 00:17:34,444
Welcome to married life.
414
00:17:35,446 --> 00:17:38,148
Now, look, you,
listen to her when she talks,
415
00:17:38,182 --> 00:17:40,283
and, you, when you talk,
be naked.
416
00:17:42,086 --> 00:17:45,055
Wow.
That was good.
417
00:17:45,089 --> 00:17:46,356
What do I do, dad?
418
00:17:46,390 --> 00:17:49,025
Do what you always do...
get in his head.
419
00:17:49,060 --> 00:17:51,127
Mr. Sullivan,
who do you pick?
420
00:17:51,162 --> 00:17:55,832
Well, I, uh... I pick,
uh... Lyle Winkler.
421
00:17:56,801 --> 00:17:59,002
Wha?!
422
00:18:00,938 --> 00:18:04,407
Okay, Sullivan,
knock yourself out.
423
00:18:04,442 --> 00:18:05,408
How's it going?
424
00:18:05,476 --> 00:18:06,843
Tip-top.
425
00:18:06,877 --> 00:18:08,311
Funny.
426
00:18:08,379 --> 00:18:10,947
You've been trying to bring me
down for 20 years,
427
00:18:10,981 --> 00:18:13,383
saying it's 'cause of
some childhood wrestling match,
428
00:18:13,417 --> 00:18:14,951
but that's not it.
429
00:18:14,985 --> 00:18:18,321
What else happened
in your life in 1994?
430
00:18:18,355 --> 00:18:19,956
Nothing.
431
00:18:19,990 --> 00:18:22,125
Isn't that the year your...
your parents got divorced?
432
00:18:22,159 --> 00:18:23,993
Yes.
433
00:18:24,028 --> 00:18:27,063
And I also believe
that your dog, Buster,
434
00:18:27,098 --> 00:18:29,432
also ran away from home.
Tough year.
435
00:18:29,467 --> 00:18:32,202
It was only tough
because of what you did to me.
436
00:18:32,236 --> 00:18:34,938
Was it me? I mean, did your
parents really get divorced
437
00:18:34,972 --> 00:18:37,107
because I beat you
in a wrestling match?
438
00:18:37,141 --> 00:18:38,808
I don't think so.
439
00:18:38,876 --> 00:18:41,144
Really? I'll show you
the card my dad wrote.
440
00:18:41,178 --> 00:18:43,880
"Dear Lyle, because you lost
the wrestling match,
441
00:18:43,914 --> 00:18:45,148
"I'm leaving your mother.
442
00:18:45,182 --> 00:18:46,382
P.S. I'm taking Buster."
443
00:18:48,419 --> 00:18:50,453
You have all this hate
and anger,
444
00:18:50,488 --> 00:18:53,223
and you think it's because
of this wrestling trophy.
445
00:18:53,257 --> 00:18:54,691
So, you know what...
446
00:18:54,758 --> 00:18:58,128
Take it. It's yours.
447
00:18:58,162 --> 00:18:59,362
Do you feel better?
448
00:18:59,396 --> 00:19:01,831
Yeah.
Do you really?
449
00:19:01,899 --> 00:19:04,033
Is that trophy
gonna take away the pain
450
00:19:04,101 --> 00:19:05,802
from your parents, the dog?
451
00:19:05,836 --> 00:19:06,769
Yeah.
452
00:19:08,038 --> 00:19:10,673
Really?
453
00:19:10,708 --> 00:19:12,208
No.
454
00:19:12,243 --> 00:19:14,244
Lyle, it's time
to let all that go.
455
00:19:14,311 --> 00:19:17,280
I mean, you can't hold on
to all this hate in your heart
456
00:19:17,314 --> 00:19:20,383
because if you do, you'll never
be the best Lyle Winkler.
457
00:19:20,417 --> 00:19:22,986
And isn't... isn't
that what you really want?
458
00:19:26,056 --> 00:19:27,123
Yeah.
459
00:19:28,692 --> 00:19:30,093
Here's your trophy, Sullivan.
460
00:19:30,127 --> 00:19:33,429
And the winner is...
Steve Sullivan.
461
00:19:35,733 --> 00:19:37,033
Wait, he gets a ribbon?!
462
00:19:37,067 --> 00:19:38,868
Now you got a ribbon
and a trophy?!
463
00:19:38,903 --> 00:19:41,838
Sullivan, this is so unfair.
You get everything.
464
00:19:41,906 --> 00:19:44,140
I'm outta here!
Pepper! Get the car!
465
00:19:44,175 --> 00:19:45,909
Wait.
466
00:19:45,943 --> 00:19:50,313
Before you start the car,
give us two minutes.
467
00:20:00,149 --> 00:20:01,316
Congratulations, son.
468
00:20:01,351 --> 00:20:03,252
I knew you'd outthink him.
469
00:20:03,286 --> 00:20:05,254
It wouldn't have happened
without you, dad.
470
00:20:05,288 --> 00:20:07,256
Are you wearing
a bulletproof vest?
471
00:20:08,424 --> 00:20:11,493
There's been
a lot of activity lately.
472
00:20:11,527 --> 00:20:12,628
Oh, my God.
473
00:20:12,662 --> 00:20:15,163
Lyle's bar is on fire.
It's bad.
474
00:20:15,198 --> 00:20:16,918
It looks like it's gonna
burn to the ground.
475
00:20:20,670 --> 00:20:22,671
Lyle, what are you doing here?
476
00:20:22,705 --> 00:20:24,673
Your bar's on fire.
Whatever.
477
00:20:24,707 --> 00:20:28,176
You know, watching
that place torch makes me wish
478
00:20:28,244 --> 00:20:31,413
I would have overinsured it
for like $650,000...
479
00:20:31,447 --> 00:20:34,349
oh, wait, I did.
I feel better.
480
00:20:34,384 --> 00:20:36,118
You burned down your own place?
481
00:20:36,152 --> 00:20:37,452
Well, yeah, I mean, you told me
482
00:20:37,487 --> 00:20:39,087
to be the best
version of myself.
483
00:20:39,122 --> 00:20:41,390
The guy that burns his own bar
for the insurance money...
484
00:20:41,424 --> 00:20:42,691
that's me.
485
00:20:42,725 --> 00:20:44,426
Right now I'm gonna
take all my money
486
00:20:44,494 --> 00:20:46,361
and open up one of those brake
and lube places down the street.
487
00:20:46,396 --> 00:20:48,764
You know, the Koreans that own the
only one in the neighborhood...
488
00:20:48,798 --> 00:20:50,599
they don't know what the hell
they're doing.
489
00:20:50,633 --> 00:20:52,734
Actually, Lyle,
you might not want...
490
00:20:52,769 --> 00:20:54,736
You know what,
good luck with that.
491
00:20:56,773 --> 00:20:58,373
Mom.
492
00:20:58,408 --> 00:21:00,676
On it.
493
00:21:00,701 --> 00:21:03,701
sync and corrections by bellows
www.addic7ed.com
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