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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,100 --> 00:00:07,142 [TV static drones] 2 00:00:07,225 --> 00:00:09,434 [bright tone] 3 00:00:10,559 --> 00:00:11,893 [classical music] 4 00:00:11,975 --> 00:00:13,975 - That's why me and my grandma don't talk anymore. 5 00:00:14,059 --> 00:00:15,184 - Aw, Christin. both: Aww. 6 00:00:15,267 --> 00:00:17,351 - No, 'cause she's dead, not because we don't get along. 7 00:00:17,434 --> 00:00:18,851 - Why didn't you say that in the first place? 8 00:00:18,934 --> 00:00:20,309 - Yeah, you know I'm a medium. 9 00:00:20,392 --> 00:00:22,392 - Oh, that's right. - Oh, this is a good place. 10 00:00:22,476 --> 00:00:24,351 - Yeah, I like this, too. 11 00:00:24,434 --> 00:00:27,017 - Whoo, I'm hot. 12 00:00:27,100 --> 00:00:28,684 - Oh, oh, okay, I see you. 13 00:00:28,768 --> 00:00:31,142 - Come through, tank top! - Yes! 14 00:00:31,225 --> 00:00:33,517 - Oh, it's like that? I got the same shirt on. 15 00:00:33,601 --> 00:00:36,476 [all laughing] 16 00:00:36,559 --> 00:00:38,851 - Oh, my God, y'all. Y'all crazy. 17 00:00:38,934 --> 00:00:42,225 - Bitch, oww! - My arm! 18 00:00:42,309 --> 00:00:43,809 [hammering] 19 00:00:43,893 --> 00:00:46,392 - Whew! - Look at God. 20 00:00:46,476 --> 00:00:48,017 - Won't he do it? - Won't he? 21 00:00:48,100 --> 00:00:49,184 [all laughing] 22 00:00:49,267 --> 00:00:51,351 [all shouting] 23 00:00:51,434 --> 00:00:54,392 [all laughing] 24 00:00:54,476 --> 00:00:58,351 ♪ ♪ 25 00:00:58,434 --> 00:00:59,392 [smacks] 26 00:00:59,476 --> 00:01:01,559 all: Ooh! 27 00:01:01,643 --> 00:01:03,893 - Bees, beetles, bugs. - Okay, we're almost there! 28 00:01:03,975 --> 00:01:05,392 We're about to make it! Whoo! 29 00:01:05,476 --> 00:01:07,434 [all shouting] 30 00:01:07,517 --> 00:01:08,559 - Yes! - Wow! 31 00:01:08,643 --> 00:01:09,726 - Yeah! - [exhales sharply] 32 00:01:09,809 --> 00:01:11,100 - This is so beautiful. 33 00:01:11,184 --> 00:01:13,392 Mother Nature should, like, take a selfie. 34 00:01:13,476 --> 00:01:15,017 - Yeah, she did her thing. 35 00:01:15,100 --> 00:01:18,517 - We made it to the top. - ♪ Hey, to the top ♪ 36 00:01:18,601 --> 00:01:20,225 ♪ We made it to the top ♪ 37 00:01:20,309 --> 00:01:23,934 all: ♪ Hey, to the top, we made it to the top ♪ 38 00:01:24,017 --> 00:01:27,851 ♪ Hey, to the top, we made it to the top ♪ 39 00:01:27,934 --> 00:01:30,184 ♪ Hey, to the top ♪ - Oh, my God! 40 00:01:30,267 --> 00:01:32,225 Look at that little chipmunk! 41 00:01:32,309 --> 00:01:33,517 all: Aww. 42 00:01:33,601 --> 00:01:34,893 - Oww! 43 00:01:34,975 --> 00:01:37,392 [all chuckling] - Oh, my God. 44 00:01:37,476 --> 00:01:40,351 Did that chipmunk just trip? - Oh, chipmunk trip! 45 00:01:40,434 --> 00:01:42,643 - Ah, chipmunk trip! [all laughing] 46 00:01:42,726 --> 00:01:45,601 ♪ ♪ 47 00:01:45,684 --> 00:01:46,809 - Oh, oh. 48 00:01:46,893 --> 00:01:48,893 Whoa-whoa-whoa! 49 00:01:48,975 --> 00:01:50,809 - Oh--oh, she's sliding. She's sliding. 50 00:01:50,893 --> 00:01:52,434 I thought--oh, no, no, no, no, no! 51 00:01:52,517 --> 00:01:53,643 Just let her go! 52 00:01:53,726 --> 00:01:56,100 - The world would have you believe that all black women 53 00:01:56,184 --> 00:01:58,100 are angry all the time. 54 00:01:58,184 --> 00:02:00,975 Actually, we're incredibly joyful. 55 00:02:01,059 --> 00:02:04,392 In fact, our joy is so powerful, 56 00:02:04,476 --> 00:02:05,934 it can be dangerous. 57 00:02:06,017 --> 00:02:08,392 Even deadly. But don't worry. 58 00:02:08,476 --> 00:02:13,434 That lady who laugh-slid down the mountain is fine. 59 00:02:13,517 --> 00:02:15,643 That chipmunk, on the other hand, 60 00:02:15,726 --> 00:02:17,726 died of embarrassment. 61 00:02:17,809 --> 00:02:19,726 [laughs] 62 00:02:19,809 --> 00:02:22,643 He busted his chipmunk ass! 63 00:02:22,726 --> 00:02:26,809 [laughing] He chipmunk-tripped! 64 00:02:26,893 --> 00:02:30,517 He chipmunked! [laughs] 65 00:02:30,601 --> 00:02:32,975 [blow lands] 66 00:02:33,059 --> 00:02:35,975 [Megan Thee Stallion's "Hot Girl"] 67 00:02:36,059 --> 00:02:38,142 ♪ ♪ 68 00:02:38,225 --> 00:02:40,267 - ♪ All the hot girls make it pop, pop, pop ♪ 69 00:02:40,351 --> 00:02:42,643 ♪ Bad bitches with the bag say, "Ah, ya, ya" ♪ 70 00:02:42,726 --> 00:02:43,975 ♪ If he ain't talking 'bout no money ♪ 71 00:02:44,059 --> 00:02:45,476 ♪ Tell him, "Bye, bye, bye" ♪ 72 00:02:45,559 --> 00:02:47,851 ♪ And if you see a mad ho, tell her, "Hah, hah, hah" ♪ 73 00:02:47,934 --> 00:02:49,851 ♪ Hey, don't get mad, ho ♪ - ♪ Get mad ♪ 74 00:02:49,934 --> 00:02:51,351 - ♪ Get a bag, ho ♪ - ♪ Get a bag ♪ 75 00:02:51,434 --> 00:02:52,643 - ♪ Don't get mad, ho ♪ - ♪ Get mad ♪ 76 00:02:52,726 --> 00:02:54,017 - ♪ Get a bag, ho ♪ - ♪ Get a bag ♪ 77 00:02:54,100 --> 00:02:56,309 - ♪ Don't get mad, ho, huh, fuck a broke ho ♪ 78 00:02:56,392 --> 00:02:57,643 ♪ Don't get mad, ho ♪ - ♪ Get mad ♪ 79 00:02:57,726 --> 00:02:58,934 - ♪ Get a bag, ho ♪ 80 00:02:59,017 --> 00:03:00,975 ♪ All the hot girls make it pop, pop, pop ♪ 81 00:03:01,059 --> 00:03:03,184 ♪ Bad bitches with the bag say, "Ah, ya, ya" ♪ 82 00:03:03,267 --> 00:03:04,476 ♪ If he ain't talking 'bout no money ♪ 83 00:03:04,559 --> 00:03:06,184 ♪ Tell him, "Bye, bye, bye" ♪ 84 00:03:06,267 --> 00:03:08,392 ♪ And if you see a mad ho, tell her, "Hah, hah, hah" ♪ 85 00:03:08,476 --> 00:03:10,351 ♪ Hey, don't get mad, ho ♪ - ♪ Get mad ♪ 86 00:03:10,434 --> 00:03:11,726 - ♪ Get a bag, ho ♪ - ♪ Get a bag ♪ 87 00:03:11,809 --> 00:03:13,059 - ♪ Don't get mad, ho ♪ - ♪ Get mad ♪ 88 00:03:13,142 --> 00:03:14,726 - ♪ Get a bag, ho ♪ - ♪ Get a bag ♪ 89 00:03:14,809 --> 00:03:16,851 - ♪ Don't get mad, ho, huh, fuck a broke ho ♪ 90 00:03:16,934 --> 00:03:19,184 ♪ Don't get mad, ho, get a bag, ho ♪ 91 00:03:19,267 --> 00:03:20,184 ♪ Ah ♪ 92 00:03:20,267 --> 00:03:23,726 [birds chirping] 93 00:03:24,601 --> 00:03:27,517 [electronic music] 94 00:03:27,601 --> 00:03:29,851 ♪ ♪ 95 00:03:29,934 --> 00:03:32,059 - Ooh, will you let me do your eyebrows next? 96 00:03:32,142 --> 00:03:33,643 - Rude. Wait a minute. 97 00:03:33,726 --> 00:03:35,142 Is there something wrong with my eyebrows? 98 00:03:35,225 --> 00:03:36,351 - Ooh, I have a question. - So do I. 99 00:03:36,434 --> 00:03:37,684 What's wrong with my eyebrows? 100 00:03:37,768 --> 00:03:39,851 - Who was the first person that made you think about sex? 101 00:03:39,934 --> 00:03:42,351 - Yeah, I'm not clear what this has to do with my eyebrows. 102 00:03:42,434 --> 00:03:43,476 - I've moved on. 103 00:03:43,559 --> 00:03:44,517 Who was the first person that made you 104 00:03:44,601 --> 00:03:47,017 wanna hunch your pillow? - Oh. 105 00:03:47,100 --> 00:03:49,100 The first person who made me think about fucking 106 00:03:49,184 --> 00:03:50,684 was probably-- - André 3000. 107 00:03:50,768 --> 00:03:51,726 - What? 108 00:03:51,809 --> 00:03:52,726 - You didn't even hear the question. 109 00:03:52,809 --> 00:03:53,893 - I heard "fucking." 110 00:03:53,975 --> 00:03:54,893 And when it comes to fucking, 111 00:03:54,975 --> 00:03:56,726 André 3000 is always the answer. 112 00:03:56,809 --> 00:03:58,267 - Not with all those hats. - [laughs] 113 00:03:58,351 --> 00:03:59,934 - The first person to make me think about fucking 114 00:04:00,017 --> 00:04:01,893 was actually two people. - Mmm. 115 00:04:01,975 --> 00:04:04,559 - André 300 and Big Boi. - No. 116 00:04:04,643 --> 00:04:06,351 Mulder and Scully. - That tracks. 117 00:04:06,434 --> 00:04:07,559 - Oh? 118 00:04:07,643 --> 00:04:09,809 - To this day, I still get hot whenever I see 119 00:04:09,893 --> 00:04:11,934 a red-haired woman and a pasty white man. 120 00:04:12,017 --> 00:04:13,392 - Ooh, don't watch "Scooby-Doo." 121 00:04:13,476 --> 00:04:15,100 You gonna melt. - [laughing] 122 00:04:15,184 --> 00:04:17,267 Okay, Robin, this seems like the kind of question 123 00:04:17,351 --> 00:04:19,225 you'd only ask because you wanted to answer it. 124 00:04:19,309 --> 00:04:20,601 - Yes, okay. 125 00:04:20,684 --> 00:04:23,267 Do you guys remember the episode of "106 & Park" where-- 126 00:04:23,351 --> 00:04:24,726 both: Ginuwine was on the gurney! 127 00:04:24,809 --> 00:04:26,059 - Yes! - Yas! 128 00:04:26,142 --> 00:04:27,934 - Yo, he changed my life when he body rolled off that thing. 129 00:04:28,017 --> 00:04:29,100 He was like-- - Ooh, wait, wait, wait. 130 00:04:29,184 --> 00:04:30,559 [imitates paddles] - [grunting] 131 00:04:30,643 --> 00:04:31,768 - Clear! - Yes. 132 00:04:31,851 --> 00:04:33,059 [all laughing] 133 00:04:33,142 --> 00:04:34,267 Come on! 134 00:04:34,351 --> 00:04:35,768 - Back in the day when it came to Ginuwine, 135 00:04:35,851 --> 00:04:38,559 I would have ridden his pony, his caribou. 136 00:04:38,643 --> 00:04:40,934 - His meerkat. - Ooh, his ocelot. 137 00:04:41,017 --> 00:04:43,768 - I lost my virginity to Ginuwine. 138 00:04:43,851 --> 00:04:44,809 - Why? - Where? 139 00:04:44,893 --> 00:04:46,059 - When? - How? 140 00:04:46,142 --> 00:04:47,768 And by how I mean, "How was it?" 141 00:04:47,851 --> 00:04:50,643 - No, I did not fuck Ginuwine. My God, no. 142 00:04:50,726 --> 00:04:51,934 I was listening to "Differences" 143 00:04:52,017 --> 00:04:54,142 when I lost my virginity. - Aww, that's sweet. 144 00:04:54,225 --> 00:04:56,601 - Oh, no, that's just the only Ginuwine song 145 00:04:56,684 --> 00:04:58,142 my parents let me listen to. 146 00:04:58,225 --> 00:05:00,601 They said the rest of his music was for fast girls. 147 00:05:00,684 --> 00:05:01,934 Joke's on them. 148 00:05:02,017 --> 00:05:03,225 [all laughing] 149 00:05:04,517 --> 00:05:05,893 [upbeat organ music] 150 00:05:05,975 --> 00:05:10,100 - Praise God for this bi-weekly pot luck. 151 00:05:10,184 --> 00:05:11,517 all: Amen. 152 00:05:11,601 --> 00:05:14,142 Now it is time to bless the food. 153 00:05:14,225 --> 00:05:17,809 Who would like to-- praise God for Jesus. 154 00:05:17,893 --> 00:05:18,975 Uh, let me just clarify. 155 00:05:19,059 --> 00:05:21,643 We just looking for someone to pray over the food. 156 00:05:21,726 --> 00:05:24,142 Y'all know good and well some of y'all see a podium, 157 00:05:24,225 --> 00:05:25,809 your mouths need Imodium. 158 00:05:25,893 --> 00:05:27,309 Yeah, all right, then. Make it quick. 159 00:05:27,392 --> 00:05:29,476 - All right. Understood, Pastor. 160 00:05:29,559 --> 00:05:31,975 All right, everybody please bow your heads 161 00:05:32,059 --> 00:05:35,643 and close your eyes. Thank you. 162 00:05:35,726 --> 00:05:37,851 Heavenly Father-- - Mm. 163 00:05:37,934 --> 00:05:42,100 - Please bless this food and the hands that made it. 164 00:05:42,184 --> 00:05:45,309 - Amen. - Primarily mine. 165 00:05:45,392 --> 00:05:47,893 Please bless Deaconess Jones, 166 00:05:47,975 --> 00:05:53,643 even though she showed up with sweet potato pie. 167 00:05:53,726 --> 00:05:55,517 [music stops abruptly] Everyone knows 168 00:05:55,601 --> 00:05:57,893 I make the sweet potato pie, 169 00:05:57,975 --> 00:06:00,392 Father God. 170 00:06:00,476 --> 00:06:04,309 Why, Father God, are her pies wet, Lord? 171 00:06:04,392 --> 00:06:07,559 How do you get water under the crust? 172 00:06:07,643 --> 00:06:08,726 Look-- 173 00:06:08,809 --> 00:06:11,184 - It's holy water in my pies. 174 00:06:11,267 --> 00:06:15,184 Right, baby? - Hallelujah. 175 00:06:15,267 --> 00:06:17,517 Want some? - Why are y'all so hard-headed? 176 00:06:17,601 --> 00:06:19,517 You know good and well God blessed those 177 00:06:19,601 --> 00:06:20,851 who blessed themselves. You know what? 178 00:06:20,934 --> 00:06:24,684 - Lord, it's me, your child, Butterfly, amen, 179 00:06:24,768 --> 00:06:28,059 and I would just like to pray for this food. 180 00:06:28,142 --> 00:06:33,309 ♪ I'm praying ♪ 181 00:06:33,392 --> 00:06:35,434 Because, Father, my new single, 182 00:06:35,517 --> 00:06:37,726 "The Club Is Bumping Up And Down," 183 00:06:37,809 --> 00:06:39,100 comes out this week, 184 00:06:39,184 --> 00:06:42,017 so I pray these saints check out my Soundcloud 185 00:06:42,100 --> 00:06:46,309 at ButterflyClips because I do hair and do short form content. 186 00:06:46,392 --> 00:06:49,934 Because--♪ The club is bumping up and down ♪ 187 00:06:50,017 --> 00:06:52,100 ♪ My body's so sick, bumping up and down ♪ 188 00:06:52,184 --> 00:06:53,267 ♪ All over your-- ♪ 189 00:06:53,351 --> 00:06:56,225 - Hey, hey! That is inappropriate. 190 00:06:56,309 --> 00:06:58,142 You get it, Butterfly, but that is inappropriate. 191 00:06:58,225 --> 00:07:00,100 Sorry, Pastor. How y'all doing tonight? 192 00:07:00,184 --> 00:07:01,392 Everybody looks good. 193 00:07:01,476 --> 00:07:03,726 Y'all look good tonight. Oh, what else? 194 00:07:03,809 --> 00:07:04,893 What else? [speakers screeching] 195 00:07:04,975 --> 00:07:06,100 - Sister Keisha, 196 00:07:06,184 --> 00:07:08,017 I rebuke your stand-up comedy, Sister Keisha. 197 00:07:08,100 --> 00:07:09,351 No. - Pastor. 198 00:07:09,434 --> 00:07:12,851 Pastor, I just wanna pray. We are all hungry, amen? 199 00:07:12,934 --> 00:07:14,059 No jokes, I promise. 200 00:07:14,142 --> 00:07:15,267 Oh, okay. 201 00:07:15,351 --> 00:07:16,434 Let go of my hand at least, Pastor. 202 00:07:16,517 --> 00:07:17,392 - Okay, all right. - Good God. 203 00:07:17,476 --> 00:07:18,934 - All right. 204 00:07:19,017 --> 00:07:20,059 - Always come prepared. 205 00:07:20,142 --> 00:07:22,434 Father God, thank you, 206 00:07:22,517 --> 00:07:24,934 thank you for blessing us with this food 207 00:07:25,017 --> 00:07:27,768 that was so lovingly made, God, because I love 208 00:07:27,851 --> 00:07:30,100 [as Borat] my wife! 209 00:07:30,184 --> 00:07:33,017 Hey-hey, that's a Borat impression! Yeah. 210 00:07:33,100 --> 00:07:34,309 Oh, you know it? That's good. 211 00:07:34,392 --> 00:07:36,601 Okay, cool, 'cause I do impressions now. 212 00:07:36,684 --> 00:07:38,434 So I'm just-- here's Meghan Markle. 213 00:07:38,517 --> 00:07:40,517 [British accent] Hello, I'm Meghan Markle. 214 00:07:40,601 --> 00:07:42,768 [laughs, normal voice] 'Cause she British now. 215 00:07:42,851 --> 00:07:43,975 Hey, who else has an impression? 216 00:07:44,059 --> 00:07:46,017 Just yell one out. - Diana Ross. 217 00:07:46,100 --> 00:07:47,726 - Barack Obama. I got you. 218 00:07:47,809 --> 00:07:50,309 [as Obama] Uh, Michelle, uh, Malia. 219 00:07:50,392 --> 00:07:52,225 Uh... - You ain't slick. 220 00:07:52,309 --> 00:07:53,476 - Did you ever notice how Deacon Jones 221 00:07:53,559 --> 00:07:54,934 look like Garrett Morgan? - You ain't slick! 222 00:07:55,017 --> 00:07:56,601 You talking about you don't do stand-up comedy, 223 00:07:56,684 --> 00:07:58,142 you come on up in here doing impression. 224 00:07:58,225 --> 00:07:59,809 Everybody turn to your neighbor and say, 225 00:07:59,893 --> 00:08:01,142 "Keep your day job." 226 00:08:01,225 --> 00:08:02,517 all: Keep your day job. 227 00:08:02,601 --> 00:08:04,309 - I've been Keisha. Good night. 228 00:08:04,392 --> 00:08:06,017 - You know what? This ain't even Sunday. 229 00:08:06,100 --> 00:08:07,476 I don't need this. Shoot. 230 00:08:07,559 --> 00:08:09,184 Y'all go ahead. Go on, eat your food. 231 00:08:09,267 --> 00:08:10,684 - [clears throat] 232 00:08:10,768 --> 00:08:13,225 [upbeat organ music] 233 00:08:13,309 --> 00:08:14,643 - Uh-uh. - Excuse me, please. 234 00:08:14,726 --> 00:08:15,643 - Uh-uh, uh-uh. - Come on, now. 235 00:08:15,726 --> 00:08:16,768 Come on, now. 236 00:08:16,851 --> 00:08:17,851 Pastor, if you could just find it in-- 237 00:08:17,934 --> 00:08:19,809 if you could just find it in your heart. 238 00:08:19,893 --> 00:08:21,267 Praise God, praise-- [clattering] 239 00:08:21,351 --> 00:08:22,601 [speakers screeching] 240 00:08:22,684 --> 00:08:25,643 - Keisha, your microphone. - Lord, just listen. 241 00:08:25,726 --> 00:08:28,809 We stand here before you in need of... 242 00:08:28,893 --> 00:08:30,809 - Mm-hmm. - Uh, uh-- 243 00:08:30,893 --> 00:08:32,851 - Fellowship. - Yes. 244 00:08:32,934 --> 00:08:34,351 Fellowship. 245 00:08:34,434 --> 00:08:36,768 - So if you are a woman-- [clears throat] 246 00:08:36,851 --> 00:08:39,351 Who likes to speak in tongues 247 00:08:39,434 --> 00:08:42,351 with fellow church members [chuckling] 248 00:08:42,434 --> 00:08:43,684 and they husbands-- 249 00:08:43,768 --> 00:08:46,351 - Please send us a--a heavenly woman that-- 250 00:08:46,434 --> 00:08:47,684 - Yes, yes. 251 00:08:47,768 --> 00:08:51,643 - That doesn't have to be the first or the second. 252 00:08:51,726 --> 00:08:54,975 A curvy third, Father. 253 00:08:55,059 --> 00:08:57,225 [both laughing] 254 00:08:57,309 --> 00:08:58,851 - Praise the Lord. - Oh, you know. 255 00:08:58,934 --> 00:09:02,476 - Why has my flock forsaken me? 256 00:09:02,559 --> 00:09:04,893 I don't wanna hear about your bedroom business. 257 00:09:04,975 --> 00:09:07,726 I don't wanna hear about their non-singing business. 258 00:09:07,809 --> 00:09:10,017 I don't wanna hear about their comedy business. 259 00:09:10,100 --> 00:09:11,851 I just wanna hear your business, God. 260 00:09:11,934 --> 00:09:13,851 - Yes, sir. [chuckles] 261 00:09:13,934 --> 00:09:15,184 - Hey. - Hey, Pastor. 262 00:09:15,267 --> 00:09:16,517 Hey, man. Yes, sir. 263 00:09:16,601 --> 00:09:18,059 Excuse me. [clears throat] 264 00:09:18,142 --> 00:09:20,559 Lord, it is I, your humble servant, 265 00:09:20,643 --> 00:09:22,517 Pastor Venmo Stacks. 266 00:09:22,601 --> 00:09:26,726 Lord, please bless these people and their modest church potluck 267 00:09:26,809 --> 00:09:28,934 for if they knew better, they'd do better, 268 00:09:29,017 --> 00:09:30,434 like we do down at 269 00:09:30,517 --> 00:09:32,434 Nothing But Increase Mega Ministries, 270 00:09:32,517 --> 00:09:33,559 right down the street. 271 00:09:33,643 --> 00:09:34,809 You see, saints, 272 00:09:34,893 --> 00:09:36,726 you can't make a spiritual withdrawal 273 00:09:36,809 --> 00:09:39,225 without a heavenly deposit. 274 00:09:39,309 --> 00:09:41,059 - Amen, amen. 275 00:09:41,142 --> 00:09:42,559 - Into our app. Amen? 276 00:09:42,643 --> 00:09:43,726 Amen. 277 00:09:43,809 --> 00:09:46,559 Where you can reserve VIP seatin' 278 00:09:46,643 --> 00:09:49,809 and you can book you a private praise day. 279 00:09:49,893 --> 00:09:50,893 Yes, Lord. 280 00:09:50,975 --> 00:09:52,851 And ladies free before 10:00 a.m. 281 00:09:52,934 --> 00:09:54,434 - Oh! Okay. - Oh, amen. 282 00:09:54,517 --> 00:09:57,684 - Now, look here, Stacks! You leave my flock alone. 283 00:09:57,768 --> 00:09:59,559 You're coming up in here dressed like 284 00:09:59,643 --> 00:10:01,059 a bootleg Steve Harvey. 285 00:10:01,142 --> 00:10:02,559 Go on and get up out of here! 286 00:10:02,643 --> 00:10:04,601 My members ain't trying to finance 287 00:10:04,684 --> 00:10:07,434 your second private jet. - Amen. 288 00:10:07,517 --> 00:10:09,225 Nothing But Increase! 289 00:10:09,309 --> 00:10:12,392 - Not the short ribs. - Right down the street! 290 00:10:12,476 --> 00:10:14,517 - Oh, so he gets to eat? 291 00:10:14,601 --> 00:10:16,267 - Well, y'all could eat if you'd have blessed 292 00:10:16,351 --> 00:10:17,267 the damn food! 293 00:10:17,351 --> 00:10:18,726 [all shouting] 294 00:10:18,809 --> 00:10:21,142 - Damn? Cursing like that! 295 00:10:21,225 --> 00:10:23,476 - Oh, that-- - That--you know what? 296 00:10:23,559 --> 00:10:25,267 This is not what I signed up for at all. 297 00:10:25,351 --> 00:10:27,100 - He took the short ribs. 298 00:10:27,184 --> 00:10:28,476 - Sailor talk. - Whoo. 299 00:10:28,559 --> 00:10:30,100 - Two drink minimum on your mouth. 300 00:10:30,184 --> 00:10:32,434 - Keisha, you want the mic now? - No, I don't want it at all. 301 00:10:32,517 --> 00:10:33,809 - Where y'all going? 302 00:10:33,893 --> 00:10:35,975 - We taking our pie elsewhere. - Go away, Mac Nasty. 303 00:10:36,059 --> 00:10:37,893 - What-- - Come on, baby. 304 00:10:37,975 --> 00:10:40,267 - Well, he pushed my button, though. 305 00:10:40,351 --> 00:10:42,225 Well, fine. I'll eat by myself. 306 00:10:44,768 --> 00:10:48,559 [all breathing deeply] 307 00:10:48,643 --> 00:10:51,643 [electronic music] 308 00:10:51,726 --> 00:10:54,309 - [yawning] - Oh, contagious. 309 00:10:54,392 --> 00:10:56,517 - Don't do that. Uh-uh. 310 00:10:56,601 --> 00:10:58,559 Come on, don't do that. 311 00:10:58,643 --> 00:11:00,809 Man, y'all know yawning turns me on. 312 00:11:00,893 --> 00:11:02,517 - I hate when I accidentally turn people on. 313 00:11:02,601 --> 00:11:04,059 I was just wearing a Bluetooth once, 314 00:11:04,142 --> 00:11:05,975 and this man tripped over the curb trying to stare at me. 315 00:11:06,059 --> 00:11:08,100 - What else did you have on? - Booty shorts. 316 00:11:08,184 --> 00:11:09,601 - Okay. 317 00:11:09,684 --> 00:11:12,726 Anyway, I'm unconcerned because none of y'all do it for me. 318 00:11:12,809 --> 00:11:14,975 I have a very specific turn-on, 319 00:11:15,059 --> 00:11:17,267 but I feel like if I tell you guys, 320 00:11:17,351 --> 00:11:18,975 you'll use it against me. - Pfft. 321 00:11:19,059 --> 00:11:20,476 - You know who's got some weird turn-ons? 322 00:11:20,559 --> 00:11:21,975 Quinta. - Quinta. 323 00:11:22,059 --> 00:11:23,643 We thinkin' the same thing. - I just... 324 00:11:23,726 --> 00:11:26,017 really don't want anyone to know 325 00:11:26,100 --> 00:11:28,392 what my turn-on is, so, like, 326 00:11:28,476 --> 00:11:29,726 don't ask, you guys. 327 00:11:29,809 --> 00:11:31,017 - We should ask her what hers are. 328 00:11:31,100 --> 00:11:33,184 Quinta. - Vocal fry. 329 00:11:33,267 --> 00:11:35,184 It's vocal fry. 330 00:11:35,267 --> 00:11:38,309 - Quinta, we wanna know what your turn-ons are. 331 00:11:38,392 --> 00:11:40,351 - Ooh. 332 00:11:40,434 --> 00:11:41,809 Whoa, whoa. 333 00:11:41,893 --> 00:11:43,893 - What you--okay, Quinta. - Okay. 334 00:11:43,975 --> 00:11:45,351 - Stop--you have to stop. - Hey, hey, hey. 335 00:11:45,434 --> 00:11:46,768 - This is enough. 336 00:11:48,768 --> 00:11:51,059 - ♪ Look, I'm a D-Boy, tell you what the meaning is ♪ 337 00:11:51,142 --> 00:11:52,809 [dings] 338 00:11:52,893 --> 00:11:56,476 [song continues over headphones] 339 00:11:56,559 --> 00:11:58,476 - Sir, are you willing and able to assist 340 00:11:58,559 --> 00:12:00,017 in the case of an emergency? 341 00:12:00,100 --> 00:12:03,975 [camera shutter clicking] 342 00:12:04,059 --> 00:12:05,893 Sir? - Babe. 343 00:12:05,975 --> 00:12:08,017 - Huh? - The lady. 344 00:12:08,100 --> 00:12:09,934 - Are you willing and able to assist in the event 345 00:12:10,017 --> 00:12:11,809 of an emergency? I just need a verbal yes. 346 00:12:11,893 --> 00:12:13,225 - Oh, yup. 347 00:12:13,309 --> 00:12:15,100 - Sorry, I need a verbal yes. 348 00:12:15,184 --> 00:12:16,851 - Bet. - Yes. 349 00:12:16,934 --> 00:12:19,392 - Babe, just say "yes." - No doubt. 350 00:12:19,476 --> 00:12:21,392 - Okay, um, what about you, ma'am? 351 00:12:21,476 --> 00:12:22,934 Are you willing and able to assist 352 00:12:23,017 --> 00:12:24,559 in the event of an emergency? 353 00:12:24,643 --> 00:12:26,768 - Babe, listen to this. - [sighs] 354 00:12:26,851 --> 00:12:29,517 [laughs] Hold on. 355 00:12:29,601 --> 00:12:32,142 - Nigga, bop, bop, bop! - Miss? 356 00:12:32,225 --> 00:12:34,726 - 'Cause we never, never stop! [both laughing] 357 00:12:34,809 --> 00:12:35,893 It's good, right? - Yeah, it is. 358 00:12:35,975 --> 00:12:37,100 - It's good. - Yes. 359 00:12:37,184 --> 00:12:38,434 - It's good. I wrote that in eighth grade. 360 00:12:38,517 --> 00:12:40,184 - I know. I remember. I was there. 361 00:12:40,267 --> 00:12:42,225 - Are you willing and able to assist in the event 362 00:12:42,309 --> 00:12:44,100 of an emergency? - What emergency? 363 00:12:44,184 --> 00:12:45,726 - A hypothetical one. 364 00:12:45,809 --> 00:12:47,768 - Okay, because we don't have time for an emergency 365 00:12:47,851 --> 00:12:49,643 because we are on our way to our honeymoon. 366 00:12:49,726 --> 00:12:50,851 [both giggling] 367 00:12:50,934 --> 00:12:52,768 Yes, yes. - Oh, well, congratulations. 368 00:12:52,851 --> 00:12:54,643 And we will take off just as soon as you confirm 369 00:12:54,726 --> 00:12:56,059 that you are willing and able to assist. 370 00:12:56,142 --> 00:12:58,726 - Okay, like, I'm currently able, 371 00:12:58,809 --> 00:13:01,559 but what if I become unable over the course of the flight? 372 00:13:01,643 --> 00:13:03,225 Because anything could happen. You don't know. 373 00:13:03,309 --> 00:13:05,392 - Okay, well, you two don't have to sit here. 374 00:13:05,476 --> 00:13:07,267 - Ooh, rude. Wow. 375 00:13:07,351 --> 00:13:08,934 The rude jumped out of you, didn't it? 376 00:13:09,017 --> 00:13:10,100 Okay, let me ask you this. 377 00:13:10,184 --> 00:13:11,934 Do we get to exit first and do I get to take 378 00:13:12,017 --> 00:13:14,809 my homegirl with me? - Mm-hmm. 379 00:13:14,893 --> 00:13:17,392 - Sir, are you ready to provide a verbal yes? 380 00:13:17,476 --> 00:13:18,601 - I mean, I feel like I said that. 381 00:13:18,684 --> 00:13:19,934 - Yeah. - You know it. 382 00:13:20,017 --> 00:13:22,309 - Okay, so what do you say? - Yerp. 383 00:13:22,392 --> 00:13:23,893 - Yes. - Yant. 384 00:13:23,975 --> 00:13:25,309 - Yes. - Yeah, man. 385 00:13:25,392 --> 00:13:26,476 - Yes. 386 00:13:26,559 --> 00:13:28,017 - Yodel. - Yes. 387 00:13:28,100 --> 00:13:29,601 - [indistinct noise] 388 00:13:29,684 --> 00:13:34,476 Yaaa-mmm... 389 00:13:34,559 --> 00:13:36,309 That was just a sound. - Yeah. 390 00:13:36,392 --> 00:13:39,476 - Yes. - Ye...t. 391 00:13:39,559 --> 00:13:41,100 - Does this even work? 392 00:13:41,184 --> 00:13:42,476 - Oh, ma'am, could you please not do that? 393 00:13:42,559 --> 00:13:43,809 - 'Cause you over here talking about-- 394 00:13:43,893 --> 00:13:45,517 - Ma'am, can you not do that? 395 00:13:45,601 --> 00:13:48,392 - Uh, excuse me. 396 00:13:48,476 --> 00:13:49,851 Let me ask you one more thing. 397 00:13:49,934 --> 00:13:51,476 How much does this job pay? 398 00:13:51,559 --> 00:13:53,809 - Well, it's not a job. It's volunteer. 399 00:13:53,893 --> 00:13:55,934 - Do I get free pretzels? - That's a good question, babe. 400 00:13:56,017 --> 00:13:57,309 - Do I get a blanket? - Right. 401 00:13:57,392 --> 00:13:58,934 - 'Cause y'all don't wanna give out blankets no more 402 00:13:59,017 --> 00:14:00,684 and it's crazy. - What about pretzel blankets? 403 00:14:00,768 --> 00:14:02,184 You know, we got married. 404 00:14:02,267 --> 00:14:04,142 The statistics of black men getting married aren't good. 405 00:14:04,225 --> 00:14:06,142 - It's real low so you really need to just treat him 406 00:14:06,225 --> 00:14:08,017 with some respect because we have been 407 00:14:08,100 --> 00:14:10,351 very above the eyes. - Thank you, babe. Thank you. 408 00:14:10,434 --> 00:14:11,643 That's right. 409 00:14:11,726 --> 00:14:13,851 - I will relocate both of you to middle seats in the back 410 00:14:13,934 --> 00:14:15,559 of the plane unless I get a verbal yes. 411 00:14:15,643 --> 00:14:17,351 - Oh! - Yeah, yeah-ee! 412 00:14:17,434 --> 00:14:18,517 Got it. 413 00:14:18,601 --> 00:14:19,975 - And you ain't gonna move nobody. 414 00:14:20,059 --> 00:14:23,851 - Sorry, excuse me. - Ooh, yes. 415 00:14:23,934 --> 00:14:24,851 - You know what? I'll take it. 416 00:14:24,934 --> 00:14:26,184 Yep, sir, get on up. 417 00:14:26,267 --> 00:14:27,517 I'm moving you to the seats in the back. 418 00:14:27,601 --> 00:14:29,726 - Like, I was just playing. It's fine. 419 00:14:29,809 --> 00:14:31,851 Go to the back. I'll see you when we get there. 420 00:14:31,934 --> 00:14:33,351 I'll see you when we get there. - All right. 421 00:14:33,434 --> 00:14:34,643 - All right. - I love you. 422 00:14:34,726 --> 00:14:36,643 - Stop playing. We're on a plane. 423 00:14:36,726 --> 00:14:38,351 Stop. We're on a plane. 424 00:14:38,434 --> 00:14:39,601 Stop. 425 00:14:39,684 --> 00:14:40,934 [giggling] 426 00:14:41,017 --> 00:14:42,893 - Sir, hi-- sir, hi. 427 00:14:42,975 --> 00:14:45,017 Would you like an exit row seat? 428 00:14:45,100 --> 00:14:46,184 Lots of leg room. 429 00:14:46,267 --> 00:14:47,184 - Yeah, sure. 430 00:14:47,267 --> 00:14:48,351 - Mmm, come on up. 431 00:14:48,434 --> 00:14:50,684 - That's my boo, you know? Yeah, yeah. 432 00:14:50,768 --> 00:14:53,517 - Do you agree to assist in the event of an emergency? 433 00:14:53,601 --> 00:14:55,059 - Uh, yes. 434 00:14:55,142 --> 00:14:58,100 I do. - [chuckles] 435 00:14:58,184 --> 00:15:00,726 - Look at God. You be known, Jesus. 436 00:15:00,809 --> 00:15:01,726 Okay. 437 00:15:01,809 --> 00:15:03,100 - How you doing? - Good. 438 00:15:03,184 --> 00:15:05,684 - Oh, now you--now you done asking questions, Lachel? 439 00:15:05,768 --> 00:15:08,351 Now that there's a fake Tyson Beckford-looking 440 00:15:08,434 --> 00:15:11,100 Chadwick Blowsman nigga up there with you? 441 00:15:11,184 --> 00:15:12,726 - Yeah. - Huh? 442 00:15:12,809 --> 00:15:14,559 - Baby, please, could you stop? - Speak up! 443 00:15:14,643 --> 00:15:16,559 - Because this is a very nice airline. 444 00:15:16,643 --> 00:15:17,601 - Uh-huh. Uh-huh. 445 00:15:17,684 --> 00:15:18,893 - And I don't wanna get kicked off 446 00:15:18,975 --> 00:15:20,434 so if you could stop yelling, that'd be nice. 447 00:15:20,517 --> 00:15:23,059 - Let me ask you this. Let me ask you this. 448 00:15:23,142 --> 00:15:25,893 Let me ask you this. This nigga wear cammo like me? 449 00:15:25,975 --> 00:15:27,893 This nigga got a beard like me? Oh, he does? 450 00:15:27,975 --> 00:15:30,184 All right, I'm gonna sit down. 451 00:15:30,267 --> 00:15:32,893 I got another question. Listen. 452 00:15:32,975 --> 00:15:36,059 If two trains leave Pittsburg at 6:00, 453 00:15:36,142 --> 00:15:37,392 right? - Yeah. 454 00:15:37,476 --> 00:15:39,768 - One's carrying apples and one's carrying oranges, 455 00:15:39,851 --> 00:15:41,476 when this nigga gonna get out my seat? 456 00:15:41,559 --> 00:15:42,975 [hip-hop music] 457 00:15:43,851 --> 00:15:45,975 [school bell rings] 458 00:15:46,059 --> 00:15:48,100 both: I am smart, I am tough. 459 00:15:48,184 --> 00:15:50,059 I will always be enough. 460 00:15:50,142 --> 00:15:52,726 [clapping] 461 00:15:52,809 --> 00:15:54,559 - Oh! [laughing] 462 00:15:54,643 --> 00:15:58,434 I am smart, I am tough, I will always be enough. 463 00:15:58,517 --> 00:16:00,601 Oh! Hah! 464 00:16:00,684 --> 00:16:02,267 [mimics drum roll] 465 00:16:02,351 --> 00:16:03,434 All right, here we go. 466 00:16:03,517 --> 00:16:07,267 I am smart, I-- Michaela, what's wrong? 467 00:16:07,351 --> 00:16:08,476 - Nothing, Ms. Miller. 468 00:16:08,559 --> 00:16:10,643 - But this is your favorite time of the day. 469 00:16:10,726 --> 00:16:13,267 [singsongy] Handshake time. 470 00:16:13,351 --> 00:16:15,059 Huh. 471 00:16:15,142 --> 00:16:17,225 Okay, girls. 472 00:16:18,768 --> 00:16:20,309 What's going on? 473 00:16:20,392 --> 00:16:22,476 - Handshake time is not our favorite time. 474 00:16:22,559 --> 00:16:24,517 - We don't like doing the handshakes. 475 00:16:24,601 --> 00:16:26,476 - Well, we don't have to do the handshakes 476 00:16:26,559 --> 00:16:27,975 if you don't like them. 477 00:16:28,059 --> 00:16:29,476 Why didn't somebody just tell me? 478 00:16:29,559 --> 00:16:32,351 - Because you like them so much. 479 00:16:32,434 --> 00:16:33,809 You're so sad. 480 00:16:33,893 --> 00:16:35,809 [poignant music] 481 00:16:35,893 --> 00:16:38,768 - Um, mmm, where--where did you get that idea? 482 00:16:38,851 --> 00:16:39,851 - From you being sad. 483 00:16:39,934 --> 00:16:41,476 - When you returned our quizzes, 484 00:16:41,559 --> 00:16:42,893 they were all wrinkly. 485 00:16:42,975 --> 00:16:44,351 - You cried on them. 486 00:16:44,434 --> 00:16:47,017 - Well, it, uh, rained last week, you know? 487 00:16:47,100 --> 00:16:48,309 Maybe they just got a little wet. 488 00:16:48,392 --> 00:16:50,476 - It didn't rain. I remember last week. 489 00:16:50,559 --> 00:16:52,184 Just because I'm ten doesn't mean 490 00:16:52,267 --> 00:16:53,392 I don't remember last week. 491 00:16:53,476 --> 00:16:54,643 - Well, it rained in my neighborhood. 492 00:16:54,726 --> 00:16:56,643 [laughing] So, come on, guys. 493 00:16:56,726 --> 00:16:59,351 Let's do some math. - What page, Ms. Miller-Hicks? 494 00:16:59,434 --> 00:17:00,893 Oops. 495 00:17:00,975 --> 00:17:03,351 You used to write Ms. Miller-Hicks on the board. 496 00:17:03,434 --> 00:17:06,684 But then one day you just wrote Ms. Miller. 497 00:17:06,768 --> 00:17:08,517 - Sometimes grown-ups, 498 00:17:08,601 --> 00:17:11,684 they grow in different directions and-- 499 00:17:11,768 --> 00:17:13,184 - What's that burn on your forehead? 500 00:17:13,267 --> 00:17:14,476 - What's with all the questions, Daisy? 501 00:17:14,559 --> 00:17:15,476 - You're doing your own hair. 502 00:17:15,559 --> 00:17:17,726 You can't afford the salon anymore. 503 00:17:17,809 --> 00:17:19,559 - Okay, that is enough. 504 00:17:19,643 --> 00:17:21,184 Everybody, your heads down. 505 00:17:21,267 --> 00:17:23,684 Heads down. 506 00:17:23,768 --> 00:17:26,351 - Ms. Miller? - What, Michaela? 507 00:17:26,434 --> 00:17:29,017 - You're not shiny anymore. 508 00:17:29,100 --> 00:17:31,851 - What--what do you mean? 509 00:17:31,934 --> 00:17:35,184 - You don't put the gold stuff on top of your cheeks anymore. 510 00:17:35,267 --> 00:17:37,017 We liked it. 511 00:17:37,100 --> 00:17:39,934 - Aww. 512 00:17:40,017 --> 00:17:42,517 I'm sorry. 513 00:17:42,601 --> 00:17:45,017 I don't wear highlighter anymore. 514 00:17:45,100 --> 00:17:47,225 What is in my life to highlight? 515 00:17:47,309 --> 00:17:48,559 [crying] 516 00:17:48,643 --> 00:17:50,059 Oh, my gosh, yeah, Mr. Hicks, 517 00:17:50,142 --> 00:17:52,225 he cheated on me with an Applebee's waitress. 518 00:17:52,309 --> 00:17:54,684 Yeah, and after weeks of coming home smelling like riblets 519 00:17:54,768 --> 00:17:58,434 in the Apple-bitch, he left me. 520 00:17:58,517 --> 00:17:59,684 [laughs] 521 00:17:59,768 --> 00:18:02,225 And now I can't eat "good in the neighborhood." 522 00:18:02,309 --> 00:18:05,893 But I really appreciate that you guys care. 523 00:18:05,975 --> 00:18:08,267 I really do. 524 00:18:08,351 --> 00:18:11,934 And I'm sorry I haven't been a better teacher. 525 00:18:12,017 --> 00:18:14,768 But you're right. I'm-- 526 00:18:14,851 --> 00:18:17,392 I'm s-- I'm really, really sad. 527 00:18:17,476 --> 00:18:22,267 ♪ ♪ 528 00:18:22,351 --> 00:18:25,267 - I am smart. 529 00:18:25,351 --> 00:18:27,768 I am tough. 530 00:18:27,851 --> 00:18:30,100 I will... 531 00:18:30,184 --> 00:18:35,934 both: Always be enough. 532 00:18:36,017 --> 00:18:40,643 - ♪ I'm so tired of crying these endless tears ♪ 533 00:18:40,726 --> 00:18:43,517 ♪ I feel so low ♪ 534 00:18:43,601 --> 00:18:45,768 - [crying] 535 00:18:45,851 --> 00:18:47,476 - ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪ 536 00:18:47,559 --> 00:18:50,601 - California Lottery. When you really need a win. 537 00:18:50,684 --> 00:18:54,517 - ♪ I'm better off on my own, don't you know ♪ 538 00:18:55,476 --> 00:18:56,934 - What? 539 00:18:57,017 --> 00:18:59,225 - Quinta, you have a serious problem. 540 00:18:59,309 --> 00:19:00,975 An Iyanla "Fix My Life" season three 541 00:19:01,059 --> 00:19:03,434 before she shaved the side of her head kind of problem. 542 00:19:03,517 --> 00:19:04,601 - You are out of control. 543 00:19:04,684 --> 00:19:06,476 Your selfishness is affecting all of us. 544 00:19:06,559 --> 00:19:08,934 - You've hurt the people in this house with your actions 545 00:19:09,017 --> 00:19:10,934 and you've broken our trust. 546 00:19:11,017 --> 00:19:12,684 - Look, we don't mean to be harsh. 547 00:19:12,768 --> 00:19:14,975 - I do. - But we're just worried. 548 00:19:15,059 --> 00:19:17,142 - I'm so sorry. 549 00:19:17,225 --> 00:19:20,601 I didn't realize me doing drugs was stressing y'all like this. 550 00:19:20,684 --> 00:19:21,809 - Oh, we don't give a shit about the drugs. 551 00:19:21,893 --> 00:19:22,975 - No. 552 00:19:23,059 --> 00:19:24,643 - We want you to stop eating the goddamn snacks. 553 00:19:24,726 --> 00:19:26,142 - Right. - [scoffs] 554 00:19:26,225 --> 00:19:27,684 No. 555 00:19:27,768 --> 00:19:29,975 [clicks tongue, sighs] Well, I didn't eat everything. 556 00:19:30,059 --> 00:19:33,809 I still left that weird ice cream in the freezer. 557 00:19:33,893 --> 00:19:36,768 - Oh, that's not ice cream. That's my emergency sperm. 558 00:19:36,851 --> 00:19:39,100 - Oh, great. Now there's no ice cream. 559 00:19:41,893 --> 00:19:43,975 [school bell rings] 560 00:19:44,059 --> 00:19:45,643 - [nasally voice] What's good, Insta-fam? 561 00:19:45,726 --> 00:19:48,517 I'm here in my hometown, Kemp, Alabama. 562 00:19:48,601 --> 00:19:50,351 Today, my high school's honoring 563 00:19:50,434 --> 00:19:51,934 my 10th grade English teacher 564 00:19:52,017 --> 00:19:54,351 Mrs. Garrett, so I flew first class 565 00:19:54,434 --> 00:19:58,559 on a Buddy Pass all the way from Miami, Indiana 566 00:19:58,643 --> 00:20:00,184 to surprise her. 567 00:20:00,267 --> 00:20:02,851 She hasn't seen me in 20 years so this is gonna be 568 00:20:02,934 --> 00:20:05,559 a real treat for her. Okay, let's go. 569 00:20:05,643 --> 00:20:07,017 [shushes] 570 00:20:07,100 --> 00:20:11,517 - And that is why this year the Black Alumni Association's 571 00:20:11,601 --> 00:20:15,726 Excellence in Teaching award goes to Mrs. Denise Garrett. 572 00:20:15,809 --> 00:20:17,684 [laughs] - Yeah! 573 00:20:17,768 --> 00:20:19,309 [applause] 574 00:20:19,392 --> 00:20:21,309 - Thank you! Yes! 575 00:20:21,392 --> 00:20:24,726 The Jackie Woodson is in the building! 576 00:20:24,809 --> 00:20:27,934 Ooh, everybody wave to the Jackie Hive. 577 00:20:30,309 --> 00:20:31,726 Oh, I know. 578 00:20:31,809 --> 00:20:34,559 It's a shock to see me-- a woman who pays 579 00:20:34,643 --> 00:20:38,726 for both Spotify and TIDAL-- here with the rest of you. 580 00:20:38,809 --> 00:20:40,184 [laughs] 581 00:20:40,267 --> 00:20:42,726 But I couldn't pass up a chance to thank the teacher 582 00:20:42,809 --> 00:20:45,893 who gave me my voice. 583 00:20:45,975 --> 00:20:47,893 [both laughing] Yes! 584 00:20:47,975 --> 00:20:52,267 - Sorry, uh, who are you, sweetie? 585 00:20:52,351 --> 00:20:53,517 [cell phone beeps] 586 00:20:53,601 --> 00:20:55,225 - You really don't remember me? 587 00:20:55,309 --> 00:20:57,351 Uh, my first day in your class, 588 00:20:57,434 --> 00:21:00,559 you taught me the word "insufferable." 589 00:21:00,643 --> 00:21:04,225 You loved my laugh. [laughing, snorting] 590 00:21:04,309 --> 00:21:06,684 - Stop, baby. You're embarrassing-- 591 00:21:06,768 --> 00:21:09,267 - You? Why would I embarrass you? 592 00:21:09,351 --> 00:21:11,809 - No, you're embarrassing. 593 00:21:11,893 --> 00:21:14,601 That was the end of my sentence. 594 00:21:14,684 --> 00:21:17,142 - Oh, Principal Dixon, you must remember me. 595 00:21:17,225 --> 00:21:21,434 Mm, I'm the one who called in that bomb threat one time 596 00:21:21,517 --> 00:21:23,434 when my braid fell out during gym. 597 00:21:23,517 --> 00:21:25,975 - Uh, I'm sorry, Jacket. 598 00:21:26,059 --> 00:21:27,643 You're not ringing any, uh, bells. 599 00:21:27,726 --> 00:21:29,726 Are you sure you're in the right town, sugar? 600 00:21:29,809 --> 00:21:32,267 This is Kemp, as in Shawn. 601 00:21:32,351 --> 00:21:33,476 - Yeah. 602 00:21:33,559 --> 00:21:35,225 Okay, I smelled it coming down the highway. 603 00:21:35,309 --> 00:21:36,809 I know where the fuck I am. 604 00:21:36,893 --> 00:21:38,434 If this wasn't my hometown, 605 00:21:38,517 --> 00:21:41,100 why would my parents be sitting right there? 606 00:21:41,184 --> 00:21:43,768 Hi, Mom! Hi, Dad! 607 00:21:43,851 --> 00:21:45,643 - Is she talking to us? 608 00:21:45,726 --> 00:21:50,309 - [loudly] Yes! Dennis, Maria, can you hear me? 609 00:21:51,559 --> 00:21:55,142 You all know me! 610 00:21:55,225 --> 00:21:59,225 I am your well-connected daughter who met the Obamas... 611 00:21:59,601 --> 00:22:03,017 Dog. Well, actually, just Sunny. 612 00:22:03,100 --> 00:22:05,476 Bo was busy that day. 613 00:22:05,559 --> 00:22:09,225 And I'm your former student who's a proud member 614 00:22:09,309 --> 00:22:11,684 of MENSA applicants! 615 00:22:11,768 --> 00:22:14,975 And your former neighbor who is the recipient 616 00:22:15,059 --> 00:22:20,142 of an NAACP Image Award rejection letter! 617 00:22:20,225 --> 00:22:22,643 Ever heard of it? 618 00:22:22,726 --> 00:22:24,684 Stop fucking around 619 00:22:24,768 --> 00:22:27,059 [screaming, echoing] and admit it! 620 00:22:32,726 --> 00:22:37,559 So I guess you guys just don't want me here. 621 00:22:37,643 --> 00:22:40,351 You guys are all my ex-boyfriends. 622 00:22:40,434 --> 00:22:42,975 You'd like me to leave. 623 00:22:45,392 --> 00:22:46,809 But, like, for real, you guys, like, 624 00:22:46,893 --> 00:22:51,017 if I leave right now, I am never coming back. 625 00:22:51,100 --> 00:22:52,934 But, like, forever. 626 00:22:54,768 --> 00:22:58,059 D--did you guys hear me? I said I was never coming back. 627 00:22:59,392 --> 00:23:00,476 Seriously? 628 00:23:00,559 --> 00:23:03,100 [sobbing] 629 00:23:03,184 --> 00:23:06,142 [screaming, whining] 630 00:23:13,851 --> 00:23:16,768 [wailing distantly] 631 00:23:16,851 --> 00:23:18,517 [cries] 632 00:23:18,601 --> 00:23:22,309 [crying fades into hallway] 633 00:23:24,975 --> 00:23:27,975 [crying continues] 634 00:23:30,643 --> 00:23:33,267 [door squeaks] 635 00:23:33,351 --> 00:23:34,601 [door closes] 636 00:23:34,684 --> 00:23:36,434 - We did it! [laughs] 637 00:23:36,517 --> 00:23:39,267 Thank God! [laughing] 638 00:23:39,351 --> 00:23:40,559 [cheers and applause] 639 00:23:40,643 --> 00:23:42,267 - Were we too hard on her? 640 00:23:42,351 --> 00:23:44,517 - She's an anti-vaxxer. 641 00:23:44,601 --> 00:23:46,100 - Oh, right. Fuck that bitch. 642 00:23:46,184 --> 00:23:47,184 - Mm! 643 00:23:49,809 --> 00:23:52,726 [electronic music] 644 00:23:52,809 --> 00:23:59,851 ♪ ♪ 645 00:24:50,100 --> 00:24:50,975 - Yodel-- - Yes. 646 00:24:51,059 --> 00:24:52,267 - Lay-hee-- - Yes. 647 00:24:52,351 --> 00:24:54,059 - Hoo. - Yes. 648 00:24:55,225 --> 00:24:56,851 Yara Shahidi. [laughs] 649 00:24:58,559 --> 00:24:59,476 [clears throat] 650 00:24:59,559 --> 00:25:00,768 I'm gonna start yelling. 651 00:25:00,851 --> 00:25:03,142 [whispering] Lachel! Lachel! 652 00:25:03,225 --> 00:25:05,809 - I would love for you guys to support my Soundcloud, 653 00:25:05,893 --> 00:25:08,100 ButterflyFlapsHoodyHoo. 654 00:25:08,184 --> 00:25:10,184 - Where you can reserve... 655 00:25:11,517 --> 00:25:15,142 R-S-P-C-T. What--what is the line? 656 00:25:15,225 --> 00:25:17,643 Where you can res--should I go from the top of that? 657 00:25:17,726 --> 00:25:19,851 [laughter] 658 00:25:19,934 --> 00:25:21,893 - Now wait a minute, Reverend. - I can't sp-- 659 00:25:21,975 --> 00:25:23,851 I can't spell VIP. That's-- 660 00:25:23,934 --> 00:25:26,351 - Okay, this--this one is Cardi B 661 00:25:26,434 --> 00:25:28,059 as a car that won't start. 662 00:25:28,142 --> 00:25:29,684 Okurr-[rolls tongue, stops] 663 00:25:29,768 --> 00:25:31,893 Okurr-[rolls tongue, stops] Okurr--[rolls tongue] 664 00:25:31,975 --> 00:25:33,351 [rolls tongue, stops] 665 00:25:33,434 --> 00:25:35,309 [laughs] Just call them out! 666 00:25:35,392 --> 00:25:39,059 Here's Cardi B in Jamaica. Hey, man, okurr--[rolls tongue] 667 00:25:39,142 --> 00:25:41,184 [laughs] Hey, hey! 668 00:25:41,267 --> 00:25:44,184 Hey, watch this. This is--this is, um-- 669 00:25:44,267 --> 00:25:47,809 This one is, uh-- This one's, uh--uh--uh-- 670 00:25:47,893 --> 00:25:49,351 - You lost your place. 671 00:25:49,434 --> 00:25:51,434 - I've been Keisha. Thank you. 672 00:25:51,517 --> 00:25:54,517 - So I guess none of you people with bad skin 673 00:25:54,601 --> 00:25:56,517 wanna fucking hang out with me. 674 00:25:56,601 --> 00:25:58,392 All right, cool. 675 00:25:58,476 --> 00:26:00,851 'Cause I have something that you don't have. 676 00:26:00,975 --> 00:26:03,809 Likes and followers! 677 00:26:05,142 --> 00:26:06,726 - All right, I'm gonna sit down. 678 00:26:06,809 --> 00:26:07,975 But I'm gonna sit here. 679 00:26:09,434 --> 00:26:11,434 'Cause I don't want to be in the back. 680 00:26:25,142 --> 00:26:27,184 [bright tone] 681 00:26:29,142 --> 00:26:30,684 Can we have two sweet teas with extra ice? 682 00:26:30,768 --> 00:26:32,768 I only got warm sweet tea. 683 00:26:32,851 --> 00:26:34,059 But you have ice, right? 684 00:26:34,142 --> 00:26:35,476 Only for the iced tea. 685 00:26:36,517 --> 00:26:38,392 ♪ I want it, I get it I got it my way ♪ 686 00:26:38,476 --> 00:26:43,309 Twenty years and I have never seen melanin this poppin'! 687 00:26:43,851 --> 00:26:45,267 Cicily Tyson would be very proud. 688 00:26:45,351 --> 00:26:46,893 -WOMAN: Thank you, Your Honor. -Why would she be proud of that? 689 00:26:47,100 --> 00:26:49,851 ♪ I do it big That's how I live ♪ 690 00:26:50,059 --> 00:26:52,934 ♪ I'm talking cars I'm talking cribs ♪ 691 00:26:53,017 --> 00:26:53,975 BOTH: Wow! 692 00:26:54,059 --> 00:26:55,351 These are the moments I live for. 693 00:26:56,100 --> 00:26:59,893 ♪ I do it, I do it I do it ♪ 694 00:26:59,975 --> 00:27:01,309 You've been sitting here playing games 695 00:27:01,392 --> 00:27:04,601 like this is Girl's Trip 2, and not the end of the world. 696 00:27:04,684 --> 00:27:07,267 Oh, my God. I just realized we'll never see Girl's Trip 2. 697 00:27:07,351 --> 00:27:10,142 ♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ 49834

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