Original subtitles

Hello, is that Parkers?

Look, I'm going fishing this weekend and I need some bait

No, just on the Thames, the maggots will do

I'll send somebody round to collect them

Oh by the way, those trout flies I bought from you have been very successful

Especially the cochy-bondu

Seems to attract the trout like a magnet

Yes, thank you again

Bye

Excuse me

You startled me

Would you mind knocking before you barge in?

Sorry

Is that better?

- I've lost it - Lost what? Is that better?

- I've lost it - Lost what?

I've lost my favorite fly

I had it in my hand a moment ago! I must have dropped it

Can you see it anywhere?

What does it look like?

It's about two inches long; red and black with a curly tail

Perhaps it's flown out of the window

It's a fishing fly! A cochy bondu

- A cochy what? - Bondu

- It must be here somewhere - If it's here, we'll find it

Perhaps I should come back later

Ah Mr. Brown, you can join in

Well I'm not really that religious

We're looking for a fly

A fly?

Yes! It's 2 inches long! Red and black with a curly tail

Sounds quite lethal

- Would you mind helping us look for it - No, not at all

- I found it - Where?

It's here! Just under the desk

- I'll get it - No, stand back Sid! Leave this to me

What are you doing Mr. Brown?

Stay where you are Miss Courtney! It could be dangerous

Yeah that's right! It's not moving!

- Mr. Brown... - Just a moment

Better to be safe than sorry

I've just remembered! I've been expecting the boiler

Have you quite finished Mr. Brown?

Or would you like to borrow a hammer?

One can't be too careful where strange insects are concerned

Have you any idea where it came from?

- Yes! W. Parker and Son - Pardon?

- Fishing tackle suppliers - Fishing

- It wasn't... - It was

Oh dear!

Got any glue?

I don't think trout are particularly fond of glue

No I suppose they're not!

- I'll buy you another - See that you do

Excuse me

Hello... Speaking

Pardon?

Is it you?

Is it really you?

It is you... It's him

Coming here?

You're not coming here

You are coming here... He's coming here

Yes, yes, yes... Half an hour

You'll be here in half an hour

He'll be here in half an hour

Very well... until then

- Is everything all right? - It was him

Yes and he's coming here in half an hour

But who is him... I mean who is he?

A man I never thought I'd see again

My ex-fiance

You mean you were actually engaged at one time?

There's no need to sound so surprised

It was over 25 years ago... I was just...

I was very young

I met him at Oxford in the high!

It was raining and he offered me shelter under his umbrella

Then he insisted on buying me a cup of tea and a sticky bun

- How romantic - Yes, that was how it all started

- Why didn't you get married? - It was awful! He left me

- At the church? - No, in the lurch

Mr. Brown, I have never told anyone this before

- Well if you'd rather... - No, sit down

For years, I've kept this terrible secret to myself

Now he's coming back into my life I must tell someone

And I think I can trust you Mr. Brown

I'd rather not if it's going to cause any embarrassment

- It won't embarrass me - It might embarrass me

I'm sure it won't

Anyway, he asked me to go down to Brighton with him

For one of those, you know, weekends

- Double room, Mr. And Mrs. Smith? - Exactly

- And you refused? - Oh no, I went

I even remember the hotel

- The Bellavista, opposite the abatoir - Very Bellavista

Well, we booked in and Albert, like the thoughtful man he was

He let me go upstairs first to prepare myself as it were

While he had a drink in the bar

- Getting up a bit of dutch courage - I beg your pardon?

Not that he needed it with such a lovely person waiting to be

- What happened then? - He didn't turn up

He got drunk, passed out and spent the night on a settee in the resident's lounge

How despicable!

I went home and refused ever to see him again

I heard later that he was working in the Far East

But I must admit

I have always cherished a secret hope that he might one day come back

- Excuse me please - Yes Ali, what is it?

Come quickly please we are having plenty trouble in classroom

- What do you mean, trouble? - Max and Giovanni

They are murdering each other

- I'm ready when you are - I am ready when you are

You come on

You're gonna be sorry

We see whose gonna be sorry

Okay, I'm waiting for you to come on

Stop this brawling

It's lucky for you! Professori stop me from giving you a black eye

I will not have fighting in class

Fighting! It was more like dancing I will not have fighting in class

Fighting! It was more like dancing

- I was just warming up - Me too

- What was this all about? - I tell you professori

He was calling me a wop

And he's calling me a grease boy

Go on, sit down everybody

I wish you could pick up proper English as quickly as you pick up slang

I have enough trouble with Ali and Ranjeet without you two start falling out

Now shake hands, come on

Right! Now, tonight I want to concentrate on English conversation

The sort of things you have to say during the course of the day

For example Ranjeet

- Where would you take a cheque? - To Czechoslovakia For example Ranjeet

- Where would you take a cheque? - To Czechoslovakia

- Not that sort of Czech - A thousand apologies

A cheque for a certain amount of money

- Where would you take it? - To a bank

- Thank you! Juan - S�, se�or

- If you felt ill, what would you do? - Go to bed

- Before that - Take the clothes off

- You would go to the doctor's - No, no, no

Doctor kill my uncle in Madrid

- Really? - S�

My uncle, he has pain in the chest! He goes to see doctor

Doctor he looks at him and say... It's alright

Ten minutes later, in the street, my uncle... finito

- He got a heart attack? - Motor car

You could hardly blame the doctor for that

S�, the doctor, he was driving the motor

- Taro - Ah so

Although we have news metrics in this country

We still use an old system which is known as what?

- Sorry not know - Does anybody know?

Avoirdupois

- Excellent - Merci

- Does avoirdupois ring a bell now Taro? - Yes

Avoirdupois is French for have you some peaso

Taro, I can't believe you're that stupid

Sorry, justjoko

Well in future, kindly leave your joke's at homo

- Zoltan, I'm gonna ask you a question - Yes please

- Which shop... - Yes, shop, shop

Which shop would you go to to buy a packet of cigarettes? Cigarettes

No shop

Come on Zoltan! You must go to some sort of shop

Zoltan no smoke

Excuse! Zoltan, where you go for chewing gum?

- Ah, sveet shop - Sweet, sweet

- Anna tells me sveet - No, sweet, sweet

Sveet, sweet! What's the difference?

The difference Anna is that you must learn to say wer, not Ver! Wer

Verwer

You nearly got it then! Try again

Verwer

Try saying Verwer without the Ver

Erwer

Almost! Try again but this time don't say Erwer, just wer

- Wer - Wer

- Wonderful - Wonderful

- Wednesday - Wednesday

- A wet weekend in Winter - A wet weekend in Winter

- Very good - Werry good

- Ali - Yes please

- You have a headache - No sir

Assume you have a headache! Where would you go to get some aspirin?

Tanduri takeaway

- No Ali - Yes please

My jelly good friend who's working there always have plenty aspirin

I meant to buy some aspirin

Why should I be buying them when I can be getting them from my friend for nothing done

Alright, where do you go for aspirin when the tanduri takeaway is closed?

Oh Blimey, Taj Mahal curry house

Jamila, would you please tell Ali where would you go to get aspirin

- Ok, the chemist - Thank you

- Where are you going now? - To buy some aspirin for headache

- But you said you don't have a headache - Oh blimey, I got one now

Oh go and sit down

Excuse me Mr. Brown, the old dragon wants you

Please Sid, do be a little more respectful

Especially in front of the students Please Sid, do be a little more respectful

Especially in front of the students

It's up to us to set a good example

Sorry

What does the old dragon... Miss Courtney want?

I've no idea, but I don't think she's very well

She actually smiled at me

Enter

- Are you feeling alright? - Yes, why?

- You sounded as if you were in pain - I was singing

I am sorry to bring you away from your class Mr. Brown

But before you leave this evening, would you mind checking...

that Sid's locked up properly

Absolutely, so should be

I was referring to the building

You see, it's quite likely that I may be leaving early

To think he's come back into my life after 25 years

I think I might need another cherry to settle my stomach

- What's the matter? - He's here! Look

- Where? - Down there

You stupid fool! You have crowned my Albert