All language subtitles for Gilmore Girls - 03x02 - Haunted Leg.WEB-DL.English.orig.Addic7ed.com

Well, this is nice,
isn't it?

So, grandma, grandpa
is traveling again, huh?

Yes, he is.
Business must be good.

Seems to be.
That's great.

Isn't that great, mom?

A jig is forthcoming.

Mom's business
is great, too.

I mean, not that it's without
its problems, you know,

but they're usually funny
problems, like, um...

oh, mom, why don't you tell
grandma about the mouse?

What mouse?
Mom?

There's a mouse at the inn.
Is the place dirty?

No. It's just surrounded
by this thing called nature,

and mice happen.

Mice carry diseases.

It's a tiny little
field mouse, mom.

It's still a rodent.
Let's just change the subject.

You should set a trap.
It's covered.

Make sure you don't use poison.
Got it covered.

They'll eat the poison,
go in the walls and die,

decompose,
and the entire place will smell.

I've got it covered,
but thanks.

I don't know why you're
with an attitude.

I should be mad.
Let's not do this, mom.

You're the one who walked out
last week without saying a word.

Your father and I were shocked and upset.
What else is new?

You didn't give us time to digest the news.
Find the "off" switch.

You dumped it on us and walked out.
That's hardly fair.

Mom, it doesn't matter.
It's over.

Let's just move on, okay?

We came here
for a nice evening,

so, come on,
let's have it.

Something smells good.

Braised lamb shank.
Oh, braised lamb shank.

I love a lamb shank when it is braised.
Oh, my God.

Reading in front of other people
is extremely rude, lorelai.

Shauna christie shot her husband.
What?

You remember shauna christie.

Yes, I remember shauna christie.
She was a lovely girl.

She came home to find her husband
giving the nanny a nice bonus.

They say good help
is hard to find.

That's just gossip.

Gossip?
The man was shot 35 times.

He looks like
a sprinkler system.

I can't believe this.

Shauna was always
such a nice girl.

She was bright, cultured,
well-spoken.

And apparently
a big Annie oakley fan.

This is not funny.
The woman committed a crime.

This is a tragedy.
My bad. Sorry.

A man is dead, a young woman ruined.
Consider the subject dropped.

At least she had a husband
to kill.

This is nice...
Isn't it?

♪ If you're out
on the road ♪

♪ feelin' lonely
and so cold ♪

♪ all you have to do
is call my name ♪

♪ and I'll be there
on the next train ♪

♪ where you lead,
I will follow ♪

♪ anywhere that you tell me to ♪

♪ if you need ♪

♪ you need me to be with you ♪

♪ I will follow ♪

♪ oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ where you lead,
I will follow ♪

♪ any, anywhere
that you tell me to ♪

♪ if you need ♪

♪ you need me to be with you ♪

♪ I will follow where you lead ♪

Bless you.

Thank you. Ugh.
I hate having a cold.

I know you do.

It's bad enough being sick,
but anybody can have a cold.

I know they can.

I mean, I'd like to have
a good illness...

something different,
impressive.

Once I'd like
to be able to say,

"I'm not feeling so good.
My leg is haunted."

There's a reason why you
take one packet of theraflu.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Pancakes, one fried egg,
side of bacon,

chicken noodle soup,
side of mashed potatoes.

Thanks, Luke.
Thanks.

How's the cold coming?
It's fine.

Any better?
It's fine.

That's the third day you've
ordered soup for breakfast.

You know what helps
rid a cold?

Endless, vague questioning?

A healthy immune system.
My second guess.

You know how you get a healthy immune system?
Remember when you hated me?

Is it eating nothing but crap

and blowing out your brain cells
with coffee?

No.
That's right... no.

Why are you helping him?
"No" seemed like the right answer.

Eat a vegetable now and then, maybe some
high-fiber cereal in the morning...

listen, grandpa,
my soup's getting cold.

At least eat the carrots
in the soup this time.

I promise.
Eat my carrots.

Apparently maturity is extremely
overrated in your universe.

The empress Bo-Bo belle
forbids it. Eat.

Hey.
Hey.

So...
One sec.

Jess...

Relax. I'm out!

Let's go.
Okay.

An entire conversation
in 10 words or less.

A true meeting of the minds.

Okay, so, uh,
please don't hate me,

but I already ate breakfast.

See? Nice, full sentences.
What?

Don't ruin it.

You're sure?
Positive.

It ran right across the lobby and
into the fireplace. I don't see it.

It must have found a hole
to crawl into.

I cannot have this mouse running
around the inn. Customers will freak.

Tell them it's a baby.
They'll talk to it in funny voices.

Did you call
an exterminator?

Why no..
What a wonderful idea.

I was actually going to fasten
a wedge of cheese to my head

and lay on the ground until Mickey decides
to crawl out and snack on my face.

When does he get here?
We are the first stop.

What do we do until then?
Make cat sounds.

Excuse me, lorelai.

Oh, hey, kirk.
Hold on a sec.

Just stand here and make sure
it doesn't come out.

Oh, goody.
A promotion.

What can
I do for you?

I have a delivery
for Sookie.

Oh, well!
Anything good?

No, just some wedding photos.

She stepped out for a minute.
I'll take them to her.

I swear,
I'll give them to her.

If you want, I'll leave and find
her and then I'll give them to her.

No, that won't be necessary.
Okay, well...

Uh, lorelai,
could I speak to you for a moment? Oh, sure.

Could we sit?

Sit? Sure.
Let's sit.

Is everything okay?

Okay?
Yes.

With me?
Yes.

Well, my mother has developed
a condition.

It makes her knees enormous.

Yesterday I cut holes
in her pants so she could sit,

but other than that,
everything is fine.

Well, good.
I'm glad.

Okay, well, I'm...

I was just wondering...

yes? Wondering what?

We've known each other
for a good amount of time now.

Our paths have crossed professionally
and socially a number of times,

all with relatively pleasant results,
and, well...

I was wondering if you
would have dinner with me.

Oh.

In two weeks.

Two weeks?
I heard you have a cold.

Two weeks for the virus
to leave your system.

Well, kirk, I...

I know this is completely
out of the blue for you.

Take a few days and think about it.
Kirk, wait.

By the way, I think you might be the
prettiest girl I've ever seen...

outside of a really filthy
magazine.

Thank you.

Don't.

I am doing nothing.

Ben, however, has dropped dead
from laughter.

How long have
you been there?

Not long... an hour...
And a half.

Why?
Because.

Because why?
Because...

Today is the last first day of high
school you're ever gonna have!

You're insane.
I'm not insane.

I'm just sentimental,
and you're grown.

I'm not grown.
Yes, you are.

You're all grown up,
and soon you'll be going off into the world.

Not yet.
But soon.

And after you spread
those wings and fly away,

I won't have the opportunity
to give you this.

What is it?
It's your bill.

My what?
Yeah.

I've been crunching
the numbers...

adding up what you've cost me
over the years,

raising you, clothing you,
feeding you,

et cetera, et cetera,
et cetera.

I've itemized everything
by years and income ratio.

You could factor it into your student loan.
Oh, boy.

One thing that's painfully
obvious here...

you've used an extraordinary
number of diapers.

I'm gonna take shower.
Really, it cost a fortune.

What were you using
all those diapers for?

I was building my
"make mommy go away" castle.

You got home late last night,
and I couldn't talk to you.

I got home at 10:00,
and you were asleep.

I was trying to watch
"the legend of bagger vance."

Okay, what did I miss?
Okay.

Kirk asked me out.
Shut up.

Yesterday he asked
me to dinner.

That's so sweet.
Sweet?!

Wear your dress with the ponies.
I bet he likes ponies.

I cannot go out with kirk!

Why?
Why?

He... he's kirk!

As long as he loves you...
you're not serious.

I just want you to be happy.
"This is my stepfather, kirk.

Don't make any sudden movements.
He's a fear biter."

How will you let him down?

That's why I needed to talk to you.
You're the nice one.

Tell him you're not interested
and want to be friends.

That sounds lame. You could tell
him you're involved with someone.

Because my karma's so great in that area,
I can jinx it with that lie.

Okay. You figure it out.

All right.
We're gonna have to move... ...Okay.

Take off in the night, leave everything
behind, assume different identities.

I'll join community theater,
and I'll drive you to soccer.

It'll work for years,
until the FBI comes,

by then, you're on your own.
I don't play soccer.

You do now.

Stop.
It's funny.

It's not funny, it's bad.
I have to see this guy.

He works at every business
in town.

You should marry him
and move in with his mother.

I'll handle it myself.
Just trying to help.

You have your swearing-in
ceremony today.

At 3:00. Don't be late.
I won't be late.

I have something to tell you.
About Vince foster?

It's about grandma.
She's coming today.

No!
Mom, I'm sorry.

She found out about it.
And you said yes?

She's my grandmother.
What am I supposed to say? So.

"Sorry, grandma, if my mother
sees you, she'll run screaming."

You'll be listening to the ceremony.
You'll hardly have to talk.

Rory...

Hey, we are family.

Look how great that
worked out for sister sledge.

I'm gonna shower.
You'll be pouting out here when I'm done?

Nope, gotta go to work.
See you this afternoon. At 3:00.

There's my little vice-president
off to rule the world.

Paris will be ruling the world.
I will be holding her keys.

I'm still proud of you.
I appreciate it.

You have power, brains. Now all you
need is a dim-witted, drunken relative

to constantly humiliate you
while you serve in office.

Will you work on that for me?
Two steps ahead of you.

Aah! Time!
3:01.

No! Oh, man! Not fair!
Stupid traffic lights!

That's okay.
It starts at 3:15.

But I so tried... you lied to me.
Did I?

You said it was at 3:00.
It's at 3:15!

Well, I guess I did.
Ah! That's it!

I'm standing during your speech
and demanding a recount!

Shall we seat you?
Betrayed, lied to, and humiliated.

Get used to it.
I am in politics now.

Hey, where's, uh...
she's not here yet.

You told her the real time.
Grandma can handle structure.

How's this?
Fine.

Sit and put your purse on that
chair to save it for grandma.

Oh, yeah, great idea.

Mom... Fine, yes.
Saving the seat.

There... all saved.

I'll meet you outside
afterwards, okay?

Okay. Remember three things
while you're up there...

I love you,
you're the greatest in the world,

and you're in a skirt.
Keep your knees closed. Bye.

When I was in school,
Linda lea was class treasurer.

She couldn't keep them
closed if they were magnetized.

Hanes should have given her
an endorsement deal.

Lorelai.

Hi, mom.

You could have put your
handbag there to save my seat.

Ladies and gentlemen,
I welcome you.

Assemblies like this
are always happy ones for me...

initiating in a new group
of school leaders.

Chilton's always prided itself

on the quality
of its student government,

and this year
we may have outdone ourselves.

These young men
and women up here

represent
the best and the brightest

of what this school
has to offer.

Ladies and gentlemen,
it gives me great pleasure

to present to you your
student-body government of 2003.

...a larger awareness
of the world around us...

problems that not only face us
here at school

but also
when we leave school

and, more importantly,

will face the next generation
that follows us.

We must learn that our actions
have consequences,

that someone else
will have to clean up our mess.

We need to figure out how to
make that mess a little smaller.

If a small fraction of these
can be accomplished this year,

then our administration
has done its job.

Thank you.

In the past,
all great empires have fallen.

The feeling seems to be
that it's inevitable,

that something like what the romans
built cannot last. Maybe they're right.

Maybe there is no way of keeping
something that prosperous permanently.

Maybe there is no way of keeping
our legacy from becoming obsolete.

Well, I intend to fly
in the face of such thinking,

damn it, I will succeed.

I don't want to come
back here 20 years from now

and find this place turned
into a high-priced charm school,

pink and white with big cheerleading
megaphones painted on the walls.

I wouldn't be able to take it.

I would have to dismantle the place
stone by stone with my bare hands.

...So let it be forever.

Congratulations and good luck.

Is Rory coming out?

That's what she said.

It was a nice ceremony.
Yes, it was.

Long.
Very long.

The longest.

Lorelai...

hey.

You're both here!
Yeah, we're here.

We wouldn't have missed it
for the world.

You looked wonderful, Rory.

Yeah, good job
with the knees.

I'll run to my locker
and get my backpack.

I'll be here.
Bye, grandma.

You don't have to wait, mom,
if you have things to do.

Oh. Well, all right.

Lorelai, I was wondering
if we could have lunch.

Lunch?
Yes, just the two of us.

Oh. Well...
tomorrow would be good for me.

Lunch tomorrow.
Lunch with you tomorrow.

We could do it
anywhere you like...

perhaps that Luke's diner
you two love so much.

Lunch at Luke's with you?

I can't even put
the visual together.

I can meet you at 1:00.
1:00. Well...

if 1:00 isn't good,
you pick a time.

All right.
1:00 at Luke's.

Wonderful.
I'll see you then.

Look, lets face it,
the last administration

might as well been
running around yelling, "toga!"

For all the things
they accomplished.

But this year
everything changes,

starting with the library.

It's completely out of
proportion with its subjects.

I mean, there's 500 volumes
on the French revolution,

yet only three on the crusades.

How do they expect us
a decent education

with inferior resources
like that?

Huh. Seems like
the hour's almost up.

Okay, this has been

an extremely successful
first gathering.

I appreciate all
the class presidents coming

and being on time.

Before I adjourn
this meeting,

is there anything
anyone would like to say?

People's names
might have been nice.

I have something
I'd like to be discussed.

Oh. Okay.

We only have
a couple minutes,

give us the reader's
digest version.

As president
of the senior class,

a certain problem has been
brought to my attention.

For the past 30 years,
the chilton regulations have stated,

skirts must be no higher than
3/4 of an inch above the knee.

That's it. Any higher,
the student gets written up.

I propose for
an immediate vote

an amendment to raise hemlines
an additional inch and a half.

Hemlines?
That's right.

That's the major issue
on the senior class's mind?

It's one
of the major issues, yes.

Well, okay.
Thank you, francie,

for giving us something really
important to mull over here.

I anticipate
a lot of sleepless nights

for all the people
in this room.

I will take it under advisement
and get back to you.

Oh. Okay.
Fine. Thanks.

Now, if that's it,
I officially call the first meeting

of the chilton student-body
presidents to a close.

I'll see you all Friday.

What idiot gave her a gavel?

Okay. See, the whole point of having
an informal get-to-know-you gathering

was actually to have an informal
get-to-know-you gathering.

What's your point? You just spent
an hour talking about your agenda.

I'm student-body president.
That's my job.

But we got doughnuts.
We didn't touch the doughnuts.

The doughnuts are sitting next to the
coffee which was never passed out.

We were supposed to talk, bond,
get to know each other.

We've been sitting
together for 60 minutes.

What do you want, a ring?

Hi. Excuse me, Paris.

I just wanted to say on behalf of the entire
senior class, congratulations on your win.

I'm really looking forward to working
very closely with you this year.

Thanks.

Okay. See you later.

Bye, Rory. You two will make
a great team.

Yes. The jerseys
are coming on Friday.

Okay. I'm gonna draft a demand for
the librarian's resignation tonight.

You want to read it the first
thing you want to do in office

is get
a 93-year-old woman sacked?

At least I'm not putting her on an
iceberg and shoving her to sea,

which, considering you can't find the
Shakespeare section without psychic powers

yet the cliffs notes rack
smacks you in the face.

It's totally justified.

And we're off.

Okay. I just got a message that a
vegetarian menu was requested for tonight.

Yeah, lassanos,
party of five at 8:00.

I thought you said you weren't gonna
let vegetarians in here anymore.

No, you said you weren't letting
vegetarians in.

I'm making my baked
stuffed pork chops for tonight.

Make something else for the lassanos.
Like what?

I don't know... pasta.
You make great pasta.

But that's boring.
Anyone can make pasta.

I'm an artist. You don't dictate to an
artist. You don't tell them what to do.

No one walks up to degas and said, "hey,
easy with the dancers. Enough already.

Draw a nice fruit bowl
once in a while."

A great artist can make art out of anything,
including pasta.

Fine, pasta. Whoo-hoo.

Is there coffee?
Just made some.

So, today's your lunch
with Emily.

Any idea
what she's gonna say?

I bet it's not,
"I'm joining the circus.

Feed your father until I get back."
I should cancel.

You can't! You're meeting
in an hour.

But this goes
against every rule I have

in the gilmore survival guide.

Number one...
no running with scissors,

number two...
no pageboy haircuts,

number three... never, ever have
lunch alone with the mother.

It might not
be so bad.

Saying yes to this lunch

is like saying, "sounds fun"
to a ride with clemenza.

Think good thoughts.
She could surprise you.

I guess.

People change, you know.
They do it every day.

One minute,
you could be,

oh, let's say a vegetarian,
and the next minute,

you could accidentally have
a bite of a stuffed pork chop

that changes
your entire way of thinking.

Sookie...
Suddenly life's fun.

There's a reason to get up in the morning.
It's called "bacon"!

Forget it!
Come on!

Pasta. Let the people grow,
damn it!

Rory, hi.
Nice of you to join us.

Francie, I...
no, I talk, okay? Great.

Now, let's discuss Paris.
What about her?

She seems to have
the very strange idea

that she's actually
in charge around here,

I thought it would be good to
let you in on a little secret.

She's not.
Tell her this yourself.

Talking to Paris is like shopping
for a bathing suit in December...

frustrating, fruitless,
and a complete waste of time.

No. You.

You might be the wallflower,

but you're obviously the meyer
lansky behind this organization.

I am not the meyer lansky.
What's that noise?

What is that noise?

Oh, wait...
it's me still talking.

Didn't you hear it?
Obviously not.

Anyhow, Paris is
student-body president.

Big, fat deal.

There are three other
class presidents...

the junior-class president,
the sophomore-class president,

and, oh, yes,
the senior-class president, me.

I know all this.
Then it's off the short bus for you.

If Paris thinks
she's gonna march around

dictating mandates
and ignoring what I have to say,

then she's in
for a major bikini wax.

Thanks for the visual.

Without me, she's nothing,

just another power-mad, insecure,
friendless, dateless, highlight less loser

wandering around trying
to make someone care they exist.

Which, no one does.

I control the senior class.

I am also the leader
of the puffs,

the most exclusive society
on this campus.

I can make her life a living hell.
Francie, she's just...

I can make sure
she leads the student body

in whatever the pledge of allegiance
happens to be constitutional at the time.

What can I do?

I want you to go
back to Margaret Thatcher

and tell her to play ball.

She's gonna support
the hemline issue

and any other issue I bring
up for the rest of the year.

Otherwise, I'll make her
so ineffectual,

she'll make Jimmy Carter look
like Martin sheen. Do you get me?

We're supposed to be representing
the interests of the student body.

We're not supposed to be
brokering back-door deals

and pushing through agendas
with intimidation and bribery.

What are we,
French skating judges?

Wise up, goldilocks.
My hair's brown.

This is politics.

If you've got a problem,
tell it to noam chomsky.

I live in the real world.
Now, blow.

Oh, and I would keep this
conversation between you and me.

Paris tends to get paranoid when there's
other mammals at the watering hole.

So her finding out that
you were conferring with me

might not make your
vice-presidency any easier.

I am not conferring with you.

A hand came out
and pulled me in.

What are you talking about?
You sought me out

because you thought Paris
was out of line today,

and you wanted to make sure

my very delicate feelings
weren't hurt.

You are so sweet
to think of me.

I feel better now that
you're on my side.

Bye, see you
at the hemster.

What are you doing here?
I came for the warmth.

You're not usually here
at this time.

I'm meeting someone
for lunch.

Oh. Kirk?
What?

You meeting kirk?
Why would you say that?

I know he asked you out, so I assumed.
How do you know?

He told me.
He did?

Yesterday.
Oh, my God.

Relax.
I think it's great.

Why would he tell you?

He came to me for advice.
About what?

Whether or not
he had a shot.

I know you.
I've been to your house.

I know whether or not
you have stain-resistant rugs.

When he found out you had wood floors,
he seemed very pleased.

I told him you liked movies.

And, of course, talking incessantly,
but we both agreed

that there's nothing like some good lovin'
to shut a person up.

Can you bring me
a sharper fork?

I'm not sure this will
go through your hand.

I know it's new, you probably
don't want to jinx it,

I won't talk about it anymore.
But I have to tell you,

seeing that guy's face
when he was talking about you,

he almost had an expression.
Far, far away from me.

♪ Love is in the air ♪

ha!

Why are you throwing cutlery
in a public place?

'Cause I feel stupid
doing it at home.

I'm sorry I'm late.
There was traffic.

If I was in time there would
still be the possibility of soup.

I haven't been here long.
I still have a knife. Glad to hear it.

You gonna sit?
Yes, of course.

There we go.
Well, this is nice.

You can see the whole
town from here.

Yes. You can.
I can see why you come here.

It must be fun to just sit
and people-watch.

Well, let's see what
they've got, shall we?

Oh. Caesar salad.
Is that good here?

I'm sure it is.
You've never had it?

Has Rory?
No.

Oh. Well, Caesar salad
can be extremely unsafe

if they use bad eggs.
Get something else.

Of course, if they're coddled,
it would be fine.

Do they coddle the eggs here?
I have no idea.

Why don't you ask Luke?
He'll just say they are.

I'll have a Cobb salad.
What will you have?

Caesar salad with extra
uncoddled eggs on the side.

Would a serious answer once
in a while kill you?

I'm sorry, mom.
Honestly, I'm a little confused.

About what?
About this.

What's confusing?
We're having lunch.

I know we're having lunch,
but we usually don't.

Especially not in my town
at Luke's diner.

I figured you had work,
it would be easier on you. Okay. That's fine.

You two ready to order?

Yes. How is your Caesar salad
dressing prepared?

I'll have to call Paul Newman
and ask him.

A Cobb salad
and an iced tea.

Cheeseburger, fries, onion
rings, and a cherry coke.

Any pie today?
No thanks.

Cutting back a little. Trying to look
good for the big day. Smart. Very smart.

Make sure you check that
frying oil with your face.

What was that all about? Nothing.
Just a little small-town charm.

Now, please, mom, tell me,
why did you ask me to lunch?

Because I wanted to spend some
time alone with my daughter.

Mom... Rory drops by after
school every now and then,

so we see her alone.

Mom...
But we never see you alone,

unless Rory leaves the room.
Even then, you go with her.

If I had a nickel
for when you've used

"girls always go to the
bathroom together" line,

I'd be a very rich. You are a very rich.
Is this really a me-and-you lunch?

No hidden agenda?
Of course not.

Okay. Fine.

I talked to Christopher.
What?

I called him last week.
We talked for a long time.

And I have to tell you, he is
not in love with that woman.

He never said it, I could tell from
his voice, he'd rather be with you.

Are you out of your mind?
You need to talk.

That would be a yes. All he needs
is to hear is that you want this.

Mom, what the hell are you
doing calling Christopher?

Well, somebody had to.

No.
Somebody didn't have to.

I wasn't
going to just sit by

and watch this situation
explode.

You two belong together.
It took you years to figure that out.

Now that you have it,
you can't let it go

just because of a little
complication.

Mom, his girlfriend
is pregnant.

That is more than
a little complication.

Women have gotten pregnant
since the beginning of time.

Before I resort to the
totally called for "duh,"

please tell me
your point.

This woman is trying
to trap him.

You can't let that happen.

Mom, this is none
of your business.

Yes, it is. It affects Rory.
It affects you.

Both of whom are my business. Do not get
involved in this. I mean it. Butt out.

Don't call Christopher
and talk about me or us.

Just stay out of it.

Where are you going?
Do not walk out on me.

I am not gonna discuss this.

I'd love for you to respect that,
but I know you, so give Christopher my love.

A family life doesn't just
happen, lorelai.

You have to work
and fight for it.

Lorelai, come back here.

When she's out of intensive care,
we'll get her signature,

and then we can finally set
about hiring a new librarian.

Anything else? Yes.
I was thinking that maybe this year,

we should throw a beginning-
of-the-school-year dance.

I mean why wait until
the tan fades?

Dances are distracting.
Dances help bring in money

to pay for those stupid
topiaries you want.

Draft a proposal and have it on
my desk by tomorrow. Madeline.

I'd like to explore the option of
having a professional photographer.

Every year, we use
that cheesy picture place,

and every year, people wind up with those vh1
"before they were stars" pictures.

I would like to stop
the humiliation now.

How are we going
to get one?

Helmut Newton is my godfather.
Okay, sign him up.

Tell him to leave the whips
and chains at home.

That's all
we have time for today.

Excuse me, Paris.

I was wondering if you thought
about my proposal. What proposal?

You know, the higher hemlines.

Oh, right.
No, not yet.

Okay. I guess I can wait...
For a while.

Patience is a virtue.
Meeting adjourned.

Hey...
what do you think about

Helmut Newton
being Louise's godfather?

Explains a lot, doesn't it?
Yeah.

Listen, I think
it might be a good idea

to consider getting behind
this hemline issue.

You're kidding, right?
No.

If girls want to make
their skirts shorter,

then who cares, right? I care.
I'm building a legacy here.

You want the first stand I make against
the faculty to involve a fashion choice?

It would be my gays
in the military.

I just think we should
establish some goodwill

among the other
class presidents.

Why?
Because you have to work with them,

and you might need their support
on something in the future.

Throwing them a bone like a
hemline amendment is no big deal.

I don't know.
It's right at the beginning of your term.

No one will even remember the
first stupid thing you passed.

You have plenty of time
to establish your legacy.

By the time that you implement
public executions for line cutters,

hemlines will be
a thing of the past.

I was making a joke,
not a suggestion.

Why do you care?
What?

Why do you care? You seem very
invested in this whole thing. Why?

I'm not invested.

If you don't want to do it, fine.
I'm just giving you my opinion.

I just thought you'd want
to a president

who's beloved
as well as respected.

Raising hemlines
would make me beloved?

It's certainly a step
in that direction.

Alright.
I'll push it through. Good.

But the next genius
who wants

to put an Elizabeth arden in the
chemistry class can bite my ass.

I'm not going.
You are going.

She has done for the last time.
From now on,

I'm not giving any
information about my life.

Opposed to all the details
heaped in the past.

I can't believe
she called Christopher.

She has no respect for my
privacy or my feelings

she thought
she was helping.

You know there isn't
a Santa claus?

Please just try
to forget this.

I'm never going
there again.

Not an option.
Should be.

She's your mother. I want proof.
I want tests done.

You want the red
or blue purse?

Blue. I wonder
who else she's calling.

She's probably on
the phone to kirk.

"I heard through my spies you're
taking my daughter to dinner.

Let's talk China patterns."
God, I'm furious.

Don't get that.
It might be her.

I doubt she'd call when
we're supposed to be there.

Hello? Hello?

The answering machine
confused him.

And that's the guy
who likes me.

I'd consider adoption
if I were you.

My life stinks.

Let's look
into each other's eyes

and say, "I wish I were you"
at the same time.

We'll pull
a "freaky Friday."

Or we can just pretend.

And you can go around acting
immature. Oh, wait...

I can't believe you won't
switch bodies.

Forget it.
Then I'd have to date kirk.

I would switch bodies with you anytime.
I know, and I appreciate that.

Lorelai, I think there might
be a problem with your phone.

Oh, my God.
Let's go.

Hello? Who is this?

Mom would you please
get off the phone.

Mom, please hang up.
I'll call you back.

Oh, for heaven's sake.

Hey. I don't think
your doorbell's working.

Believe me.
It's not the doorbell.

Oh. So it was the door.

Yes, Sarah.
Once again, it was the door.

So the really big bell
is the door

and the small one
is the oven.

Yes. That would be a wonderful
thing to remember.

Okay. Well, let's have
a drink, shall we?

Grandma, you have a new maid?
Yes, I do.

Good thing we're in time
for happy hour.

Wine, lorelai?

Yeah, if there's any left.

Rory, soda or water?

Soda, please.

How about water?

Water's fine, too.

What's up, mom?
Nothing.

You seem tense.

You always think
I seem tense.

Tonight you seem
tenser than usual.

Well, I'm not!

Rory, tell me about school.

Oh, okay.
School's good.

Do you like student government?
I think so.

Your grades are still good?
Yes.

Do you take physical education?
Not this semester.

But eventually you will take some sort
of physical education. I'm not sure.

The minute she runs after a ball and
take showers with 30 other girls,

you are getting a call.
Well, thank you.

Dinner's ready.

Sarah, one minute, please.
Yeah?

I told you we eat
dinner at 7:00.

And right now, it's 6:30.

Therefore, one could conclude

that maybe it's just a tad early
for dinner.

I'm sorry. I...
we want to eat at 7:00!

But the food's ready now.

Okay. Never mind.
We'll eat.

We're eating.
Up, up.

Let's go.

It's fine.
It's better.

Then we could all be in bed
by 9:00. Sit down.

Tell us what is up.
What is up with what?

With you and her.

Well, she's new, lorelai.
She's only been here three days.

She's still getting
the hang of things.

I think it's only fair
to give the woman a chance.

Why are you staring at me?

Mom, you've had maids deported
who were better than her.

I have not.
Talk.

Your father made a crack about my
not being able to keep a maid.

Of course it's a gross
exaggeration.

Yes, I've had maids
I haven't liked,

but I've also had maids I've loved.
Name one.

Daiha.
Who?

She took you shopping once.
How old was I?

I don't know.
4, 5.

You haven't liked a maid
since I was 4 or 5?

I have liked a maid.
You asked whom I've loved.

I loved daiha.
And whatever happened to daiha?

How should I know?
But I loved her.

Okay. So. Salad?

Thank you, Sarah.

Oops. Big bell.

Sarah? The salads.
Sarah!

Pass the wine, lorelai.

You want a straw
with that?

You're enjoying this?
Well, yeah.

Lor, we need to talk.

Chris. What are you doing here?
You won't return my calls.

Did you do this?
I did not.

You gave me no choice.
After I told you to stay out.

I did not.
You have to go.

I'm not going
until you talk to me.

Christopher, lorelai, come back here.
Why won't you call me back?

There couldn't be a worse time
to have this conversation.

Really? It seems the only time
to have this conversation.

Go home, okay?
I will talk to you tomorrow.

Well, sure, I believe that.

There's no reason
to doubt my word.

Really? 45 unreturned phone calls
isn't a reason? No, it isn't.

You shutting me out
like this is wrong.

I'm not discussing this in my mother's house.
You don't get to dictate this.

You won't call me back,
I did what I had to do. And I'm sorry,

but after
all we've been through,

you shutting me out
is wrong.

You know what hits me the hardest, lor?
Apparently it's not the door.

You keeping Rory from me.
What?

I never, ever thought
you'd do that.

I'm not keeping Rory
from you.

Then why hasn't
she called me back, huh?

No matter where we've
been in our lives,

my daughter has always
called me back until now.

I didn't call
because I didn't want to.

Me. Mom had nothing to do with it.
Honey, calm down.

You promised me at Sookie's wedding,
this was going to work,

that you were going to be there.
Honey, please understand.

No. I always understand,
and I don't want to understand.

I don't want to talk about this.
I've got mom. That's all I need.

Go be somebody else's dad.
Don't say that.

I'm going upstairs.
Call me when he's gone.

She did not get there
by herself.

Have you ever met
your daughter?

She could get to the third
dimension by herself.

She helped the crossing
guard when she was 4.

I'm going to talk to her.
No!

She wants to be alone
and cool off. Respect that.

I'll talk to her later.

You'll talk to her?
Great.

You need to leave...
Right now.

This isn't right.
She needs her father.

I know, I've told her
she needs her father.

She feels her father bailed on
her, and she's mad and hurt!

I can't change that
in three minutes!

Do you think I like
this situation?

Do you? After what you
and I had going...

Chris, do you remember
why we're here?

What event in your life

caused this very pleasant
moment we're sharing?

That has nothing to do
with this.

What? Chris, man,
what do you want from me?!

I want to talk!
About what?!

I don't know. I just...
I don't like how things are.

But that's how they are.
I didn't want things to turn out this way.

But they did!
But I didn't want that!

Christopher, is Sherry still pregnant?
Of course she is.

Are you still with her?
Yes!

Are you gonna marry her?
Yes.

Then, honey, we are where we are.
Accept it. I can't.

Don't you understand that I can't
talk to you because it hurts?!

Talking to you really hurts!

Standing here right now
is killing me, okay?!

Don't you understand that?!

Christopher, I think
you'd better go now.

Emily, I...
leave now, please.

You need a mask and a horse
when you do that.

Something's burning.

Chris!

Give it time.

Well, now, that was a fun night.
Yep.

I haven't had such fun since labor.
Ba-dum-bum.

But, seriously, ladies
and gentlemen, is this on?

I can't believe
he just came over.

He misses you.
He misses you.

We're very missable.

Honey, he loves you so much.
He didn't mean to...

no, he never means to,
but he does.

I'm not going
to this wedding.

You don't have to.
Good.

But you might...
at a later point.

When you're not so angry and make
up with your dad as we both know..

You might be sorry
you missed it.

It's the wrong wedding.

Well, things happen
for a reason.

Since when is that
your philosophy?

Since now. By the way,
I'm also a communist.

Really?
Yes, 'cause I look damn good in red.

I'm starving. Really?
Could it be 'cause dinner sucked?

Let's do Mac and cheese.
And tater tots.

And pizza rolls.
Ooh. And chili beef soup.

After which we will install
our own vomitorium.

Okay, nix the soup.
And add some cake.

Let's be organized.
Make it fast, make it snappy,

if there's any impulse buying,
make it chocolate. Aye, aye, captain.

Lorelai.
Oh, no.

Go on in.
You sure?

I have to take care of this.
Good luck.

Hey, kirk. Lorelai,
I know you haven't made up your mind,

I'm not here for an answer.
I need to know...

are you allergic to tuna?
Uh, no.

No. Good.
Thank you very much.

Kirk, I've made up
my mind.

You have?
Already? Yes.

And it's fully formed?
Yes, it is.

You don't need any other information?
No, I don't.

'Cause I could have my mother call you.
Totally unnecessary.

Okay. Well, then,
go ahead.

I just got out of a really
weird relationship,

and I know that sounds like
a line, but it isn't.

I'm just not fully over
the shock of it yet,

and I never want to hurt you

because you're my friend
and I like you,

so I have to say no.
I'm sorry.

Was the tuna inquiry
too personal?

Oh, no. I thought
it was very thoughtful.

You sure you won't feel like
it any time soon?

Yeah, I'm sure.

Well, at least I asked.

Good night, lorelai.

Doing a little shopping?
Yes. Excuse me.

Why the cold shoulder?
No cold shoulder.

I just have perishables here.
Oh, yeah.

You wanna get home before that beefaroni
goes bad. My mom's waiting for me.

How was Washington?
Fine.

Do anything interesting?
Nope.

What about you?
What about me?

Anything interesting happen?
This summer, I mean? Nope.

Really?
Really.

So nothing happened
this summer at all?

It was hot.

Two weeks ago, there was a run
on sno-cones.

Machine broke,
people went crazy.

I'm not talking
about sno-cones.

What are you talking about then?
Nothing.

Her name's Shane.

As in "come back"?
Yep.

Well, great.
That's great.

Really, it's great.
So I've heard.

Are you upset about something?
No.

I mean, me and Shane.
What about you two?

I don't know. It didn't exactly
bring a smile to your face.

Well, I'm still freaked out about
the sno-cone machine. Okay.

I could care less about you and Shane.
Good.

It just surprised me, that's all.
Why?

Because.
Because why?

Because of what happened
at Sookie's wedding.

So me coming back
and just seeing you with Shane

just kind of threw me
for a sec.

I'm sorry.
Did I hear from you at all this summer?

Did I miss the thousands of
phone calls you made to me

or the postman lose
the letters you wrote to me?

You kiss me, tell me
not to say anything...

very flattering, by the way.

You go off to Washington.
Then nothing.

Then you come back all put out
because I didn't wait for you

like Dean would have done.

And what about Dean?
Are you still with him?

'Cause last time I checked,
you were.

I haven't heard anything
to the contrary.

And you two walking
around the other day

like some damn
Andy Hardy movie.

Seemed like you're
still pretty together.

I expected you to break
into a barn and put on a show.

When did you see us? At that stupid
summer insanity plea the town put on.

I'm surprised you could see
anything

with Shane's head plastered
to your face.

You didn't answer me.
About what?

Did you call me at all?
No.

Did you send a letter?
Postcard? No.

Smoke signal?
Stop.

A nice fruit basket?
Enough.

Are you still with Dean?

Come on, Rory, yes or no? Are you still
with Dean? Yes, I'm still with Dean.

Glad to hear it.
Glad to tell you.

See you around.
Whatever.

Right back at you.

Hey. I was just gonna
come in after you.

You all done?
Oh, yeah, I'm done.