All language subtitles for Deus E Brasileiro (2003) Eng-Subs Dvdrip Divx- (Osloskop Net)

GrupoBrasil Share - GBS
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GOD IS BRAZILIAN

Attention, all passengers
take your seats!

Divine Grace is Faster
than anything!

Welcome to the Celestial
InFormation General Service.

If you are a Christian, press 1.
A Spiritist, press 2.

If you are a Muslim, press 3.
Thank you.

If you are a Roman Catholic,
press one.

If you are an Orthodox Catholic,
press two.

Now enter your baptism
certificate number.

Baptism certificate. I don't
even know where I kept it.

Attention,
your time is running out.

Welcome to the Celestial
Information General Service...

Thank you very much,
my friend!

It was nice of you to keep
my place here in the line.

Shameless bum!

What's going on here?

It's Baudeler Vieira, St Peter.

Baudeler Vieira,
the loan shark!

This vermin can't go to Paradise
before paying what he owes me!

What is this heartless
usurer doing here?

He doesn't belong here. His pIace
is at the bottom of Hell...

keeping company to all the bankers
and thieves of his kind!

His death was just a shameless
plan not to pay what he owes me.

Leave him with me just
one more little day on Earth...

Then I'll ship him back to you.
I promise you, my saint!

It is she!

Hail Mary, full of grace.

Our defender now and at
the moment of our death, amen!

-He's not playing fair!
-Help me, my Celestial Mother!

Wake up you, you look like
you've seen a ghost.

It was Our Lady.

-Who?
-Our Lady, Our Lord's Mother.

She was just about to show up.

Not even in a dream the mother
of God would stoop as Iow as...

to let a scrounger
like you see her.

All i know it's past noon and
no one's shown up here yet.

-Really?
-Let go of your mother's corn bread!

TIRE REPAIR

It's Baudeler Vieira, that
bloodthirsty buzzard is here!

Fine! He knows the way
here very well.

Tell him i'm away on a trip.

It will be of no use. That was
the excuse I gave him last week.

But i can bring up one
I used last month.

He's probably forgotten,
like chicken pox, migraine...

death in the family, a seaquake.

Not a seaquake! There are
no seaquakes in BraziI.

If i couId pay the interest on
the money, he'd be happy enough.

Don't look at me!

You've got money bundled away.

I give you house and board.

But it's only a loan.

It happens all the time.
You never pay me back.

This time i'll pay.

I will!
Now seriously, i will.

I'd rather die than not pay.

I give you my word of honor!

Your blessing, father.

What? Going to the church again?

Father Ambr�sio sent for me.

What happened?

You could go a little bit faster,
couldn't you?

Any minute now, Mr. Baudeler.

That reminds me. I'll have
to charge you a little extra.

-Why?
-It's lunch time.

Lunch time is sacred.

I'm only fixing your tire
out of friendship.

Because it happens to be you.

I don't know the first
thing about cars.

If i did...

That's Mercezinha.

Mercezinha, my daughter.

She's really into
this church thing.

I never saw anybody
attend so many masses.

You sure Taoca isn't home?

Dead sure.

If you like you can step into
the house and see for yourself.

Make yourself at home.

A man spends his life making
sacrifices all the way...

so he can loan out
cash with interest...

in order to support his family.

And then out comes a son of a bitch
like this guy and defauIts.

I'm sorry. I don't mean to offend
you nor your respectable wife.

-It's your son.
-Yes, but it's not my fault.

God made him my son,
it's God's fault.

-You believe in God, don't you?
-Yes, sure. Don't you?

Yes, sure, too.

God is like the wheel,
the steamboat, and the airplane.

He was invented by man, but that
doesn't mean he doesn't exist.

There's fish over there.

Just look, there's fish there.

Real fish, right over there.

Don't get so excited,
it's not the end of the world.

Just a little whiIe ago
you weren't there.

-You got here just now?
-Yes.

How come you're not wet?

I didn't swim over here.

-And where's your boat?
-I didn't come on a boat either.

Pretty strange.
Where's your helicopter, then?

And excuse me for asking.
What might be your name?

My name is Edivalt�rcio.

Edivalt�rcio Barbosa da
Anuncia��o, pleased to meet you.

-And you?
-You wouldn't believe me.

And I dislike lying.
I never told a lie.

Very well, that's very good.

But on the other hand i won't
stay here, talking to a guy...

whose name i don't know.

I am that I am.

The one who has no name.

The unnamed one.

Cut that out, because everyone
has a name, even a street beggar.

Excuse me now. Good-bye.

The thing is, I am God.

What's this? What's this?

-Don't get nervous.
-Nervous, me?

You think I'm the nervous kind?

Sissy gets nervous.

-I am angry, that's what I am now!
-How long to get to the mainland?

Aren't you God? Why should
you have to ask?

Are you stupid or have you
been out in the sun too long?

Just because I'm here there's
no need for any brouhaha...

No reason to show off.
It's not my way.

You don't look
like God to me, friend.

If I were the God of giraffes,
I'd come as a giraffe.

You got a half-baked mind.

That's what is
the troubIe with you.

I've had enough! Stop that!

That's enough, all right.

There was some music I heard it.
Where did it come from?

>From heaven. Well, what now?

What now what?

Would you take me
to the Penedo fair?

With this puny motor we wouldn't
get there before nightfall.

Only by a miracle.

I'm not doing any miracles.
That's all you think about.

I can leave you over there in
Pia�abu�u, on the river's mouth.

What is a person of your
consequence going to do there?

There's a fellow there
I have to see.

And why don't you...
I mean, why dost thou don't...

do a miracle and make this
person just show up here?

And why instead of helping me you
just stay there talking nonsense?

You're absoluteIy right, sir.

But you do know that fairs are
things of the past, don't you?

Only the riffraff go to
open-air markets.

If you need to buy something,
you should go to a supermarket...

or to a shopping-center
in the capitaI.

Things are no longer the way
they were in your time.

It is not simple to do a miracle.
Everything has to be readjusted.

You change something here you
have to change something there.

A never-ending chore.

It's hell, if you pardon
the expression.

I can imagine.

That's why
I do very few miracles.

But the Bible says you used
to do miracles all the time.

That was different. Back then
I had to assert myself.

And even so most of the time
they weren't really miracles...

Most were natural events that
I set to coincide with my will...

so I wouldn't have to adjust
too many things.

The famine in Egypt, for instance.
That wasn't my doing.

All I did was to heIp Joseph
predict its coming.

And how about the sea opening
a passageway for Moses?

A comet passed near Earth and
moved the waters off their place.

-And how about Lazarus?
-Catalepsy.

I want people to Iike
me the way I am.

I won't do miracles just
to please anyone.

Sure, right you are.

I'd rather listen to music.

-You can change stations.
-How do you do it?

-Come again?
-Change stations?

>From here on you can
find transportation...

or you can walk down the road.
Penedo is close by.

No need to rush. At this hour
there's no one else at the fair.

It opens again tomorrow morning.

In the old days he used
to walk on water.

Bye now, may God be with you.
I mean, God bless you...

Whatever!

That's a pitanga tree.

I know.

Good fruit. You can't find
any now because...

You only get pitangas in winter,
in July or in August.

Do you know someone called
Quinca at the Penedo fair?

Of course not. I'm not very
familiar with peopIe at the fair.

I don't consort with these people.

Quinca of the Mules, whose
father was a mule driver.

Mule driver? I've got to go now.
Or I'll miss supper back at home.

I hope it turns out fine for you.
Been a pleasure.

I've had a wonderful time.

Do you see anything funny here?

I'm just thinking how you're
going to pay Baudeler Vieira.

How do you know...

All right, you're laughing like
this because you're not involved.

If you were...

Anyway what is
a little old money...

for a person who created
the whole, whole world?

Wait! I'm going with you!

How silly of me! How could
I ever go back to the island...

and get there before supper?

Especially in this forlorn
darkness. I might even drown.

Those clothes of yours
are ridiculous.

-And the earring too.
-No earring, it's a piercing.

So I thought and said to myself...

Edivalt�rcio, don't be a jackass.
Get some sense into your head.

How can you leave God alone
in a time of need like this!

Can anyone imagine
how ungrateful this is?

A dirge. Aren't you hungry?

Hungry?

Where there's a deceased
person there's always free food.

Can you wait just a moment?

Shrimp patties!

I'm crazy about it!

There are cheese patties too.

Poor fellow, isn't it?
So young.

Cezinha, my nephew. He took
a bean broth with turpentine oiI.

He killed himself? No!

Were you gentlemen
friends of my son?

Cezinha's? What a question!

We've been friends since
we were little kids.

You don't remember me because
I went south. To S�o Paulo...

in order to finish
my Biology studies...

-with our professor here. He.
-S�o Paulo...

Right, the Professor is only
passing by, aren't you, sir?

Actually he's going to Penedo
to do some research at the fair.

But I didn't want him
to go back to S�o Paulo...

without meeting Cezinha
about whom I talk so much.

But now, this!

Unbelievable.

Just yesterday we were talking
about him, weren't we, Professor?

I'm a truck driver.

One day I came back home
before I was expected...

and found my wife with
another man in our bed.

My little children were crying
outside the house, on the street.

She made our life miserable
and then went away.

She turned into a slut, a cheap
streetwalker in S�o Paulo.

-Have you met her?
-In S�o Paulo?

No, never.
We don't go to whorehouses.

I mean, to this type of place.

Cezinha never forgot
what his mother did to us.

Hi! How's everything?

Keep away from the bean broth.

He's lying.

-Who?
-My father.

My mother Ieft because my father
was an animal. He even beat her.

Everyone says she was beautiful
and had a heart of gold.

Cezinha was crazy about her.

-I'm going to S�o Paulo with you.
-May I ask who invited you?

''He forsook his life because he
did not know how to be happy!''

That's another obsession of you
people, being happy all the time.

Pardon me?

What he meant was...

''Who amongst you may live
without wishing to be happy?''

Isn't that right? That's right.

I found my son with a pen in
his hand and the notebook...

opened in this page.

I didn't know he wrote verses.

Poetry!

''Though my breast
is full of love...

my will to live is not sappy.

They'll say about my suffering:

He forsook his life because
he did not know how to be happy!

Why, isn't that beautiful!

-Fifth-class literature.
-Pardon me?

I'm very sorry, but your
son died in vain.

Those verses are hogwash.

What he meant was...

that those verses are...
They're beautiful.

Something to that effect.

This is my mother.

Beautiful, isn't she?

She sent this to me from S�o Paulo
just before she died.

It's the dress she wore when
she married my father.

Take me to S�o Paulo with you.

Will you take me?

You... you, huh?

You could be less ungentlemanly
toward the deceased's father.

Holy Mary!

I'm going to Penedo with you,
then you take me to S�o Paulo.

Put your clothes back on, kid.

Get decent.

I'll say! What a brash
woman she is!

Get dressed! The Professor won't
get into any monkey business.

My name is Mad�, that's
how everybody caIIs me.

What's yours?

Am I supposed to fill out
a form to move around here?

Salvador!

His name is Emmanuel Salvador.

You're wasting your time, girl,
I'm not going to S�o Paulo.

That's right, he's not going to
S�o Paulo right now. Only later.

Will you stop lying?

My name is Edivalt�rcio, yes.

Comes from Edite,
on my mother's side...

and Arivalt�rcio,
on my father's side.

Edivalt�rcio Barbosa da
Anuncia��o, pleased to meet you.

There it is,
the house of the Lord.

Or rather, God's house, right?
Your house.

Tell them who you
are and ask to stay.

I guarantee they'll Iet
you stay all night...

as comfortable as can be.

Then tomorrow morning we
can get a ride to Penedo.

Hey, what's that, farting
like that in front of...

of my friend here?

Sorry.

There are a few things that
could stand some improvement.

You write everything down so you
won't forget it later on, right?

There are a couple of things that
could use some improvement.

I didn't ask for your opinion.

Is farting the only thing
you're going to fix?

I created you people
so enthusiastically!

But something turned
out wrong, all wrong...

mischief is all you care about.
And wars...

dire poverty, intolerance,
exploitation, deceitfulness.

You're right, it must really
be discouraging.

-Now, if you cared to...
-It's not my fault!

I made the world,
and then free will.

I left your fate
in your own hands.

It's up to you, within
all possible freedom.

And what do I get? I get
blamed for everything!

There is nothing else I can do.

I think I've already gone too far
for the size of my pecker here.

-Size of what?
-Pecker. Prick.

Dick.

Penis...

-That's a cow.
-I know, I invented it myself.

But we gave it a name.
C-o-w. Cow.

There couldn't be a better name,
it suits her fine.

I wonder if Your Excellency
could confide...

with what purpose
both of us are here...

looking for this Quinca
of the Mules.

Where are you going?

Why all the hurry?
Are the police after you?

A human being
is not a refrigerator...

which you take back to the store
if it doesn't work properly.

So I decided to stop worrying
and get away on vacation.

You all give me so much aggravation
I really need a rest.

Fair enough!

I just want to slide through
galaxies, like in old times.

Wandering by the stars
with nothing to do...

Lying on my back...

just watching those wonderful
nuclear explosions...

of neutron supernovas.

Would you care for a patty?

The deceased's
aunt gave me some.

I felt sorry for the deceased's
father, you know that?

Being a truck driver
is rough work, don't you agree?

A fellow is slaving on the road
for a living, proud of himself...

And one day he gets home and
finds this man taking on his bed.

It really must be tough,
I tell you.

My problem is I have to find
a saint to leave in my place.

A saint to kind of mind the store
while I enjoy my vacation.

To find a saint here in BraziI?

So? BraziI is one of the most
religious countries in the world.

And it has never had a saint
officially recognized.

Is Your Holiness considering
this Quinca to be a saint?

I'm not considering. I've
already made up my mind.

And the Pope is His Holiness,
I'm God. Try not to be so ignorant.

Quinca hasn't been around
here for a long time now.

After his father died, Quinca
rounded up the mules, sold them...

and gave all the money away
to the poor, and then he went away.

Now, I tell you, it was
a really awesome binge...

because they invested
all the money in cheap liquor.

Now that Quinca disappeared, you
might as well consider my name!

Consider your name for what?

I don't want
to sound impertinent...

and I don't want you to think
I am too pushy...

but I'd Iike you to know
I'm at your service.

You mean you want
the saint's job?

I know I'm not the one
you're looking for, but...

God writes straight
with crooked lines!

I never wrote anything with
crooked Iines in my whole life.

It's just that you people
don't know how to read.

I may not be perfect, but I'm
not the worst man in the world.

If I became a saint my first
miracle would be to find money...

to renovate the island's main
church. A lot of money!

I know I don't have all the
necessary learning for the job...

but I'd get some training. You
would show me the way and I...

Do you want me to tell you why
you can't be a saint, Taoca?

You couId aIways find a way.

If you want we can start from
the time you were a little boy.

So long ago?

Listen, when you were seven,
you and your cousin Deraldo...

All right, all right!

Holy Mary... Seven?

Does this mean we're going
to have another strip-tease?

What are you doing
here in Penedo?

Oh, it's Miss H.

Did you come to the fair just
to watch television?

It's Miss H on television.

People here like her more
than anything in the world.

More than anything
in the world?

Except God, of course.

Because then you've got
to go right to the point.

It's like in the 10 Commandments.
To love God above all.

That's all he thinks about.
And he's right!

That's he! Quinca of the Mules.

What you doing?

-I want to hear.
-Then adjust the control.

So, did you enjoy it?
The little darlings!

That was the story of my visit
to the Home of God Orphanage...

in Stubborn Brasilia shantytown.

Give your contribution.

They'll give anything
Miss H asks for.

Damned stupid people,
aren't they?

-Where is the shantytown?
-In Recife.

I have to go there to see
Quinca of the Mules.

You have the money
for the bus ticket?

But you're going to see to it
that the money pops up?

You're joking.
I, produce money?

You mean you think I'm a forger?
Is that what you think of me?

A forger?
Me, call you a forger?

No one mentioned forged money.
Real legitimate money...

bills with the President's
signature and all that.

No way we can walk all the
way down to Recife.

BUS TICKETS

Let me tell you about this
little receiver.

I bought it for 40, but you can
have it for 34. I need the money.

Take a look, feel it.

Here you are.

Did you change
your radio for it?

I couldn't let Your Holiness
tread around...

running the risk of coming across
a murderous robber on the road.

Oh hell... Sorry.

At this time there are no more
buses to Recife, you see.

Only after lunchtime. We're going
to have to loiter around a while.

There is a personal reflection
of mine...

which I want to share with you.

As long as you
already are busy...

at fixing a couple of things...

with all due respect, I find a
certain oversight on your part...

as far as the position...

of the sexual organs is,
so to speak, badly resolved.

I think the urinating place
and the defecation place...

shouldn't be
in the sexual place.

So close to the sexual place.

Do you realize what
I'm trying to say?

The pipe a man pisses with...

shouldn't be the pipe men use
to make babies, so to speak.

If a plumber did a job Iike
that in my house...

I'd fire him on the spot and
wouldn't pay him anything.

I think hygiene commands us to be
a bit wary, a bit watchful.

One thing is a sewer,
and another...

It is her!

It is her! Can't you see?

The girl!
There!

Where have you two been hiding?

Professor, let's hit
the road to Recife.

-Whose vehicle is this?
-I don't know.

-What you mean, you don't know?
-I stole it. Let's get going.

WELCOME TO PERNAMBUCO

-What's your name?
-Juliana

-How old are you?
-Eight.

Quinca has been around...

working with us in teaching
our children how to read.

But he read that the Government
was organizing a cooperative...

to build a dam in the dry backlands,
so he left for there.

Where?

The Baticum Valley is in
the middle of the boonies.

-We'll get transportation.
-With what money?

No one is going to spoil
my vacation in the stars.

The Baticum Valley...

Wouldn't it be possible to find
a saint right here or nearby?

Saints are scarcer and scarcer.

When I find one I raise
my hands to Heaven.

But that's my point.
Now, if you felt like it...

we'd fly over to the Baticum like
birds. You just have to wish it.

Everything ends up on my back,
it never fails.

Everyone wants everything easy
and for no price.

It's always 'God give me health,
God give me a husband...

God make me win the lottery,
God this, God that.

Only God knows...'

No one can take that! Everything
is with me, with me, with me.

I get stressed!

I told you to return the truck
and go back home.

Yes.

But there's almost no more gas,
I can't drive back.

Excuse us, my good friend,
come on.

Let's move, because alms here
are difficult, huh Professor?

No way.

It's not charity. They're
selling their children.

They're cheaper than
those at the orphanage.

Sorry.

God sticks to this nonsense
of refusing to work miracles.

This miracle thing,
it's all made up.

I never met anyone in
my life who saw a miracle.

Was I talking to you?

In a situation like this he
could get us some money...

so we could give our poor
stomachs something to do.

-All you think about is eating.
-People die from lack...

of food.
Not from lack of a saint.

Put your hands together!

And there'll be plenty of money.

The Professor is a magician?

No. I mean, a real magician...

the type we're used to seeing,
no, not that way.

A magic trick is not a miracle.

I am going to put it here
and then pass the cards...

Yes!
A magic trick is not a miracle!

That's kind of an old one,
isn't it?

Camone-se, boy!

Camone-se to see the magic of...
Mandrake!

Yes! Sursum corda!

And here you have, Iadies and
gentlemen, a whole cocoanut tree...

that Mandrake brings
you out of nothing.

Exactly like in the Genesis,
on the day of Creation!

Now only Adam and Eve
aren't here, isn't it?

Holy Mary!
Have you gone mad?

Throw it!

Throw it!

How much do we already have?

Hold it a second, not yet!

How much, how much?

I can't resign myself to that!

It was going to rain money,
it was going to be a golden mine.

A couple more weeks working there,
we couId even retire.

I'm still too young to retire.

The professor could make
a fortune doing magic.

That's what I keep saying.
This man is so pigheaded...

you Iose all patience with him.

How do you do all those things?

It can only be hypnotism. Because
it really seemed I was dreaming.

Everything a human being imagines
may be done, Mad�.

It's only a matter of training.

Will you pass me the salt,
please?

-May I order a beer?
-A beer?

Get drunk and drive? To risk
the life of the Professor?

The gas tank is full now.

At Baticum Valley, Mad� will
return the truck...

and go back home.

Do we still have money for
the bus tickets?

How many tickets?

Two or three?

You must have been a little
lonely, weren't you?

-When?
-When you invented the world.

Your Excellency made this world
all by yourself...

without anyone to give you an
opinion or to keep you company.

I never needed company.

Your Highness never had
a father, never had a mother...

or a relative or neighbor or
anyone. You're always lonesome...

roving amidst the stars...

watching them pop up, without even
a paI for idle conversation.

Or a woman all yours, someone to
cuddle up to, a little love...

I love what I myself created.
I love humankind, for example.

In spite of everything!

I know you have lots
of experience.

You're gone through a lot.

But it's impossible to take care
of everything alone.

I need to get this saint
and go on my vacation.

I agree I don't have what
it takes to be a saint...

I've got too many flaws,
we've been through that.

But there's my sister Mercezinha
back on the island.

She's a fine girl,
an example of kindness...

charity, religiousness.

Mercezinha practically lives in
the church, ask Father Ambr�sio.

Father Ambr�sio!

Mercezinha is one of the few
remaining virgins in Brazil.

Maybe in the whole worId!

Ask Father Ambr�sio.

Father Ambr�sio?

I mean no offense at all...

but I won't change my 23 years...

five months and eighteen days
of age for your...

quadrillion centuries, drifting
about with no one around.

Not a chance.

Poor fellow, always so alone!

You vermin! Pay me back
what you owe me!

Help me my beloved Our Lady!

Help me, Our Lady,
give me your protection!

Help me,
my Celestial Mother!

The Professor vanished.

The passengers are all outside,
the bus is out of order.

-How long to fix it?
-Only God knows.

-Where is he?
-God?

No, the Professor.
Where is he?

I have no idea. When I woke up
he had already disappeared.

I asked everyone,
and nobody knows.

Where can he possibly be hiding?

Professor!

The Southern Cross
must be up there.

What I really would like
to see it's a flying saucer.

The music!

I think it's coming that way.

Have they fixed that old can?

It'll take more than a century
to fix that rat trap.

Can't you give them a hand?

I know nothing about engines, and
I don't read instruction manuals.

What is this fire
on the cashew tree?

A lightning struck it.

But I didn't notice any rain.

And is that necessary?
I mean...

the backlands are
a strange place.

The bus is that way!

I'm going to the Baticum Valley.

-On foot?
-You tick-headed!

How did the Indians do it, before
the wheeI was invented?

This guy is really getting to be
a grumpy old man, I'll tell you.

I've got to go
out in the bushes!

I have to take a pee!

Professor!

Women are a pain in the neck
most of the time!

A man wouldn't
even need to stop.

He'd just go on walking,
and... ppffff!

Oh mother...

I'm so alone!

So alone!

Mad�! How about it, aren't
ever going to finish?

What is it?

it was God, it was God
There's no reason for dismay

And even if I have
the gift of prophecy...

and know all the mysteries

and all the science in the world

and gather so much faith
I can move mountains

even so if I don't have love,
I am nothing.''

It was out of love for us
that God created the world...

and set us here on Earth
to live in Paradise.

God is good, fair,
and charitable...

merciful, truthful, loving...

generous, beautiful,
brilliant...

fantastic, wonderful,
eternal and...

-Perfect! Perfect!
-Most perfect.

And life only makes sense...

if we love him above all else,
because he deserves it.

Bravo! Bravo!

Taoca,
give this good man a coin.

All our money is with you.

Thank you, my son,
thank you very much.

You foIks passing by?

We were walking down the road...

but this friend of mine got
tired, he's getting old.

Excuse my asking, but
where are you heading?

-If you can tell me.
-To the Baticum Valley.

-You know it?

Where is the dam they are
building somewhere around here?

-It's been built already.
-And the place sure needed it.

The drought was so harsh our
jackass ate the Brazilian flag.

It was the only
green thing around.

When they finished the dam, the
landowner kicked everyone out.

The big boss was the only
one who could use the dam.

And the cooperative?

They were all driven away.

Everybody left, they're
not stupid.

Come closer, help yourselves
to some good cashew wine.

This is Quel�, my brother.
And I am Tuinho.

But the real names are Ant�nio
Clemente, and CIemente Ant�nio.

The folks who built
the dam left and....

I know.

But don't you worry, because
everything ends well.

When it's not well, it's because
it's not the end yet.

Yes, this week it's
going to rain.

-How do you know?
-The ''Perpetual Moon Almanac''.

''Perpetual Moon''...

It's and almanac we have here.

You've got to see it,
it never makes a mistake.

Did you know that God created
the world in September?

That's right,
it's in the almanac.

Same month as the
Brazilian Independence.

Did you know that
the Andromeda galaxy...

is fast approaching
the Milky Way?

They're going to collide,
and in the explosion...

there go Earth, the Sun, the
Moon, the planets, everything.

Will you excuse me?

But that's only going to happen
many million years from now.

Tuinho thinks Luzinete should
dance with our guest.

That's right.
What is your name, please?

Salvador. His name
is Emmanuel Salvador.

As for myself, I'm...
No one.

Professor,
dance with the bride.

You don't want to offend her,
do you?

Go ahead, Luzinete,
dance with him.

Go ahead, Luzinete.

-Go ahead, woman.
-No!

What's going on?

Dance with him, Luzinete!

Mad�.

That's enough.

I never saw anyone dance forr�
grabbing the partner so tight.

I wasn't dancing forr�.
I danced a Viennese waltz.

You don't know how fortunate
you are. You have no needs...

and stay unworried because you
know you're not going to die.

Not me! At night I'm afraid
of the dark and in daylight...

Everyday I wake up can be
the day of my death.

If you wanted, I could live
forever like the angels.

Death was my best invention.

It was all becoming just
the same when I had that idea.

Without death the world would
end up too boring.

Cashew wine?

I'd rather eat.

We'll buy some food on our way.

No! I can't believe!

I gave it all.

You gave all our money to that
preacher at the wedding?

Let me have that back.

The money was mine too!

I helped earn it with
the sweat of my face.

Now this, this is all I needed,
getting fleeced by God!

I'VE BEEN LIKE THE DEVIL LIKES.

I'm a piece of shit.

You can say I'm a piece of shit,
I know I am. Say it!

-You're a piece of shit.
-You didn't have to say that.

You told me to tell you you're
a piece of shit. I did.

But said with that assurance
it hurts a man's feelings.

Taoca, where's the Professor?

You've got to stop thinking
about that old bachelor.

I can guarantee you don't have
the slightest chance with him.

No problem. God helps me.

God doesn't give a shit...
About us, that is.

It's Quinca of the Mules!
It's Quinca of the Mules!

This is about a war in an Indian
reservation. Only Indians.

It is Quinca of the Mules,
I'm positive.

What's so important
about Quinca?

Nothing, it's just a job the
Professor is trying to get him.

Isn't that so, Professor?

Where is this... Jalap�o?

in Tocantins!

''Armadillos are Fine
But it makes my back hurt

Because their backside
is so low

That's why i prefer
Nanny goats

Jalap�o is in Tocantins,
near where I'm going.

If you want a ride...

I notice you enjoy the
view a Iot, don't you?

It's very pretty indeed.

So many ugly things that you
get startled when you see...

something pretty. It lights
up your thoughts.

If it weren't for ugly things,
there'd be no pretty things.

Ever heard of Palmas?
It's right over there...

Tomorrow morning I'm going
to get the insurance money.

>From here it's easy to get
a ride to Jalap�o.

A truck going that way passes
by all the time.

Been a pleasure.

OswaIdo Zenildo. If you
need me just Iook me up.

That's not his real name.

I saw a different one among
the truck's papers.

Taoca, have you ever
taken a plane ride?

No, never.

Now, an authority
of your stature...

should not be taking
free truck rides.

You should really
go by airplane.

Or at least by taxi.

Would you tell me how you
intend to find Quinca here?

It's none of your business.

Are you really sure Quinca
is the only possible...

candidate for the job
you're thinking about?

In nomine Patri et Filii
et Spiritus Sancti, amen.

Your mommy...

Our CelestiaI Mother, Our Lady
of Perpetual Help, amen.

Excuse me for intruding, but
this Quinca you're looking for...

is the same Quinca who lives
here in Jalap�o?

You know him, kid?

I show you the way to his house,
but there is a condition.

To help my mother with
her household expenses.

Trouble is, money's not
very easy here, kid.

Messiah. Messiah Duarte
dos Anjos.

It's to buy food for my mother
and my five little brothers.

No, not five. Seven.

You were never in need all of
your life.

It's understandable you don't
care about having regular meals.

But could you be so
considerate as to say...

how we're going to pay for the
information provided by Moses?

Messiah.

No problem, they're both
from the same book.

There's another question I think
deserves special attention.

The question of this girl, Mad�.

This girl has been with us for
a very long time now, get it?

We know the kind of man
her father is.

And the police is after us...

all of Brazil, her father and
the police after us. How long...

can we stand this situation?

I think it wouldn't
cost anything...

It's Miss H ! It's Miss H
from television!

Let's help, everyone! A little
donation for the love of God!

A little donation for
the love of God!

They like me, Taoca, more
than anything in the world.

Ssshhh! Sir... huh... ! Ma'am,
you forgot to change your voice.

And a donation is not
a miracle either, is it?

Come on, drop your donation
in this little box, come on!

Carefully! Drop your donation,
for the love of God.

It's Our Lady of Perpetual Help.

Good thing the Professor
remembered to drop by his ATM.

While those chumps were drooling
all over Miss H...

he went there, smart as ever,
and got a little money for us.

Miss H is always asking for
money and food for the poor.

They say Communism is trying
to make a comeback.

One for us, one for you,
one for us.

One for us, one for you,
one for us...

Those blue eyes.
I wonder how...

they came up with that blond
blue-eyed face of an American.

Couldn't be otherwise. In those
days there were no cameras.

People started saying how he
looked like and he got this face.

-I talk to him now and then.
-To Jesus?

His story was unfair. The father
should sacrifice for his son.

It's a guest here in my
boardinghouse. He's got cancer.

The doctors have given up on him.

When he remembers he's going to
die, he rebels against it...

breaks everything in his
way and complains.

Boy, how he complains!
It'll be over in a while.

Go to bed, Mr. Gisl�nio.

Sleep, man.

He just doesn't resign
himself to it.

Do you want to try it?

I know nothing about
those contraptions.

This is a site to talk
to the dead.

I've spoken
to Catherine of Russia...

President Vargas,
Princess Diana...

Do you have a dead loved one
you might wish to talk to?

I do.

I'd like to talk to my mother.

Do you remember how she looked?

I don't really remember.

I was too little when
she left for S�o Paulo.

Have you something that
belonged to her?

She gave this to me.

Then it's not hers,
it's yours.

What did she die of?

Aids, it seems.

What was her name?

The real name or the
professional one?

Makes no difference.

Put down Sheila Madalena,
like me.

Mommy...

-The money!
-Take it.

Go home, and take
care of your life.

But you're going to give
everything away once more?

Go live your life.

You're my life now.

I'm going wherever you're going.

I won't be a bother. Please.

I couId be your father.
Your grandfather.

Your great great-grandfather.

Go now. And let's step on it,
I'm in a hurry.

Do you think I've got nothing
else to do in my life?

It's plain to see you never loved
anyone in your life, Professor.

You have no heart.

I invented the heart.

Here they are, Mr. Quinca.

But this is not
Quinca of the Mules!

PIease don't mind this mess!

I've been without a maid
for some time, you see?

They don't want to work
in homes anymore.

They charge a fortune.
It's so expensive!

Where are you from?

This land here is
very hospitable.

A land of good people,
simple people...

but good-hearted people,
I'm certain.

Well, I did my part, now please
excuse me, I have to leave.

I'm taking the present you gave
me to my poor mommy.

And to my eight little brothers.

Seven.

Well then!

What is the job you have for me?

Who is the victim?

Victim?

You can trust me.

Because I mean a one hundred
percent guarantee...

that the victim is going to
eat grass by the root...

kick up his toes, and give up
the ghost to his Maker.

Give me a picture of this person.
I never failed, thank God.

I'm sorry but there seems to be
a misunderstanding.

We're looking for
Quinca of the Mules and not...

Quinca Batalha,
at your beck and call.

You mean you don't have
a job for me?

We don't.

I'm not the kind of man
that puts a gun in his hand...

and goes out robbing people.

No, I'm never going to do that,
I'm not going to steal.

I'm not going to taint my name
at this point in life.

No one calls me anymore!

Right now there's a war going on
in the Indian reservation...

I couId be there helping.

A war in the Indian reservation!

Yes, in their reservation.

The Government settled
the Indians there...

but the farmers want the land
to make cattle pastures.

It's progress, there's
nothing one can do.

Man, aren't you lucky!

To run across someone who knew
the direction of the Indians!

Very, very Iucky!

People underestimate it...

but being God must
be really tough work.

It's hard labor, that's what
it is, studying to be a magician...

practicing dancing
Viennese waltzes...

learning how to impersonate
television stars...

to memorize the words of country
music songs, and other things.

And just to hire some jerk
to be a saint...

not giving a damn to the rest
of the world.

Really, you know,
I never thought...

I'd feel sorry for God.
But I am feeling.

You didn't get wet
in the rain, huh?

It's he, Taoca!
No doubt about it!

Quinca of the Mules?

What you want, fooit! , from me?

I need to talk to you.

About, fooit, what?

I have a proposition for you.

But what a propro...
propos, fooit! , zition?

It's a rather delicate matter,
which I prefer to approach...

privately. No rush,
just you and I.

Did the farm...
the faaaarms... fooit! ...

How come this dummy gave lessons
stuttering that way?

I'll bet the kids
are illiterate!

-Did the fars...
-Stop that stutter!

Did the farmers send you here?

Did the farmers send you here?

The farmers were the ones
who sent you here!

Did they?

The farmers were the ones
who sent you here!

The farmers were the ones
who sent you here!

I never talked like that.
It's some sort of a miracle!

Yes, but it isn't a miracle,
huh, Professor?

Of course you know that stuttering
comes out of nervousness.

And yours went away with your
fright by Professor's shout.

Unconstitutional!
Antidisestablishmentarianism!

An unconstitutional
antidisestablishmentarianism!

I first heard about
these Indians...

when some white boys had
set fire to one of them...

who was sleeping under
an overpass in the capital.

The tribe didn't do anything.
Just kept on chanting...

for the one who died.

All they did was whine,
whine, just whine.

This has got meningitis. We don't
have a medicine for it.

Now he's a doctor?

No one needs a college education
to take care of the others.

Haven't I seen you before,
somewhere else?

If you had,
I bet you wouldn't forget.

I want to have a conversation
with you, just the two of us.

I can have a great influence on
the outcome of this conversation.

You know how it is, the man
here is my bosom pal.

We're practically brothers.

A thrush, a thrush.

Yes!

A blue-crowned trogon!

Blue macaw!

Jacamar! Yes, jacamar!

Nunbird!

Tinamou, tinamou!

How can you do all those
birdsongs so well?

I was the one who
made the birds.

And all the rest too.

I'm the one who made it all.

It was such a simple idea!

Basically what I did was
to mix hydrogen 75%...

helium 24% and the remaining
one per cent I put in carbon...

nitrogen, oxygen and stuff,
for a total of 92 elements.

The rest were details
and fine-tuning.

An idea of beauty more beautiful
than the speech of the angels.

Then I gave the world to you, and
never had another day's peace.

All you know is to fight one
another, and destroy what I made.

That means, if I heard
you right, you're God.

-And want you to become a saint.
-Come again?

I got tired of all the mess,
and decided to take a vacation.

Then I need a fresh saint, to look
after things while I'm away.

-I'm supposed to be that saint.
-Exactly.

It was just because you struck
me as a good man...

that I'm putting up with
this crazy talk.

Otherwise I'd tell you to go back
to the madhouse you escaped from.

I've got more important things
to do. This is getting nowhere.

-Why is it getting nowhere?
-First, because I'm not a saint.

Aren't you?

Touch him.

-What for?
-Lay your hand...

and see if he doesn't
get well right away.

There's no meningitis
for a saint.

Touch him.

Touch him!

Don't push me!

And find yourself another lunacy,
because God is out of fashion.

It's not I who's not in fashion,
it's the fashion.

-You could have saved his life.
-I'm not God.

But I am.
I made everything that exists.

There could be fewer waterfalls
and more food for everyone.

When you become a saint,
see to it.

I don't want to become a saint.

Being a saint is wonderful.
It'll be a cinch!

There are a few sacrifices,
but it's very rewarding.

I'll bet you'll ask for 20%,
like your friend just did.

Being a saint is an important
job. It's a select group.

Taoca tried to charge
you a commission?

You know what?

Stop badgering me. There's
no way I can be a saint!

-Why?
-I don't believe in God.

I never did and never will.
I'm an atheist.

That's a hitch. But I'm here to
solve this probIem personally.

Prove me you're God.

I can't go around
making miracles.

Then go away and don't
bother me, I'm an atheist.

In a situation of serious crisis,
in a case of maximum alert...

I think I can make an exception
and put on a great show.

Like when I had manna raining
on the wilderness...

or sent out the wheels
of fire for Elijah.

I invented day and night
the way they are.

But when Joshua invaded
Canaan and needed my heIp...

I stopped the Sun and the Moon.

I stretched days and nights
so he could win the war.

I can stretch,
so I can also shrink.

Day and night will last as long
as it strikes my fancy.

Time takes the time
I want it to take.

And we get old together, just
as quick as the day passes?

Enough!

Enough!

Enough!

Have you understood...

and assimilated?
Have I explained...

imparted, analyzed? Are we now
in agreement, you ass?

Tricks! Those were all tricks,
you hypnotized me!

That was hypnotism,
it was all a put-on!

I'm God! I do not
deal with put-ons!

Find someone else for the job
of saint, I don't want it.

It doesn't matter. You'll be
a saint, you son of a mare!

I'm an atheist!

I'll be back some day,
be sure of that, you clod.

But you're not going
to convince me!

-You mule.
-You con man.

-No harm in waiting, you wretch.
-You can wait! I'm an atheist!

What's going on?

I'm easy to live with...

but I can't stand people
disagreeing with me.

I...

ffooit! , am an...
an ath... Atheist!

Sometimes I'm afraid of you, sir.

Don't be silly, you haven't got
enough imagination for that.

Professor, don't let yourself
be disturbed by that boor...

who would make a very bad saint.

Why does a person want to be a
mule driver, a schoolteacher...

a dam builder and a doctor,
all in one life?

And now, where are we going?

I have to go back from the place
you saw me, or I'll have...

to rearrange everything and I
don't want any more trouble.

Are you leaving?

Just like that? Is it all over?

Yes.

So that's it.

A man here using all the elbow
grease to cooperate with him...

and then he just vanishes
to his rest among his stars.

-And me, what happens to me?
-You'll hang around as usual...

-owing all the world and his brother.
-I don't owe you anything.

Now...

let's drop by the boardinghouse.
See if everything is all right.

Go ahead and say you miss Mad�.

Me? Not me!

By this time she must have left.

Probably with the first
guy that turned up.

A cuckold's feelings!

And what does Your Highness know?
You never even had a girl friend.

Why do you people only
see the value...

of something after losing it.

Taoca!

Stella?

What are you doing here, woman,
so far from the island?

-Baudeler is taking us up north.
-Who?

Me.

They're building an electricity
plant in the wilderness.

And all those workers with
nothing to do on their days off.

The demand for the product pussy
seems to be huge.

We'll not leave them at
the mercy of their own hands.

It's unpatriotic, isn't, girls?

Yes!

Mr. Baudeler Vieira!

Boy, what a coincidence.
I can't beIieve!

What a heck of a coincidence,
I was here looking for you.

Here. It's not much...
But it comes from the heart.

This doesn't even cover
the interest.

If it wasn't too much trouble
for you, we could try...

Professor!

They're heading north. They are
going into whoredom there.

-And what's wrong with that?
-Are you going to let her go?

Are you any relation of hers?

No.

Forgive me for saying so, but
you're really too irresponsible.

I didn't force anyone
to come with me.

They're coming because
they want to.

I agreed on the price of each
and every one of them...

gave them new clothes and
an advance in cold cash...

that I earned with the sweat
of my own face.

For this one...

I also paid a fee to the boy
who brought her to me.

-Moses.
-Messiah.

Mad�, give back the money
Mr. Baudeler advanced you.

-And you come with me.
- Me?

I'm going to find a way
to get my money back.

Some workers might enjoy
a male ass...

especially a limp-wristed
like you.

God Our Lord told humankind
to grow up and multiply.

But people exaggerated...

and we're going to solve the
overpopulation problem on Earth.

We queers are going to save
this planet, darling.

That tire's a bit flat,
isn't it?

-Which one?
-On the other side.

-What you mean, flat?
-I don't know!

But Taoca ought to know,
he fixes tires.

Yes! Completely down.

It doesn't look like it.

Tires are my business, I know.

This is very, very dangerous.

On a road like this it
may even burst out.

But don't you worry. I'll get the
jack and I'll get this done...

in a trice, you hear?

-Are you coming with us?
-I think so.

Don't give it a thought,
it's on the house.

Courtesy of the house!

We left the girls and Baudeler
Vieira's bus on the road...

and then we dropped Mad�
at the bus station.

Mad� is going away
to S�o Paulo, my Mother.

Oh, poor little you!

I think she's never coming back.

Pray to God, my son.

God never paid any
attention to me...

he's always putting me down.

And me here, in this valley of
tears. I'm suffering so much!

Love is a very strange thing,
isn't it?

It's true. Yes, ma'am.

Help me, my Celestial Mother!

Only my kerosene kept vigil
To his holy sleep

Holy as his name
And his rare smile

l used to fly high because l had
A pair of large wings

Until one day l fell

And here l am at
This samba court

Listening to the work
OF Heavens

And here l am at
This war court

Listening to the battle
OF Heavens

ln this court of fallen angels

Here on Earth, there
ls work everyday

To raise and break walls

Kill one's hunger
Quench one's thirst

Carrying a water basin
On one's head

And this Fire that
His mouth sends

To our creation

What they are saying is that
human beings are fallen angels...

that God sent down to Earth
as a punishment...

for their having
criticized Creation.

Then they learned with the
animals how to have offspring...

they became numerous and began
inventing houses, streets...

countries and a mountain of
machines, with the purpose...

of imitating God and fumble with
everything he had invented.

In the beginning,
God became very angry.

But his heart softened toward
with the fallen angels' charm...

and the wrong way they
did everything...

surprising, out of control...

Different from the rest.

Humankind learned from God
how to create...

and God learned from
humankind how to love.

You were not smoking
that stuff, were you?

They're all bums and outlaws.
You don't know the story here.

That was all we needed.

Soon it will be broad daylight,
and we'll go down the river.

You did your best here,
didn't you?

I'm glad you noticed, sometimes
I think nobody cares.

Can you please lower the music
a little, just a little?

The volume.

Thank you.

Music jumbles up my head. It
doesn't let me think straight.

You don't know what that first
morning in Paradise was like.

I had just created the world and,
when I found myself in front...

of all that beauty I did feel
so proud of myself!

It was all perfection.

You'll have to pardon me, but if
the world was really perfect...

there would be no bats
sucking blood...

nor there would be seaquakes,
volcanoes, hurricanes.

When everything was finished.

I felt like having someone see
what I had done.

And I was so alone.

It was then that
my headaches started.

If I was there, I would have told
you that it would never work out.

You guys make too many mistakes!

Where you people have found such
a knack to do the wrong thing?

Where?!

You really must be very tired.

It's not fair that you go without
your vacation among the stars.

So you won't go back
empty-handed...

there is another cousin of mine.
Not Deraldo, but Miltinho.

He is virtue itself!
If you met him...

you'd forget Quinca of the Mules,
and call my cousin to be a saint.

I have his phone number.
He lives here in the mainland.

We could give him a ring...

you'd kind of give him an oral
test, he would start answering...

A nice northeasterly breeze!

We can arrive where you found me
in no time.

All right.

What did you do before creating
Heaven and Earth?

There's no ''before'',
before the Creation.

The motor!
They stole my boat's motor!

Mad�!

Weren't you on the road
to S�o Paulo?

No, I wasn't. I'm going
to no S�o Paulo any more.

I decided to save money,
and buy a truck of my own.

I'll live my life right here,
Professor, you hear?

You know what's best for you.

And Mr. Baudeler's advance?
Are you going to return it?

No, I'm not. I need the money
to buy my truck.

Good Lord, now she's really gone
crazy. Are you out of your mind?

I don't think so.

Baudeler Vieira bought her.
She's his, nothing one can do.

In what world you think you are?

I'm taking you back to Baudeler!

Who knows it won't appease that
burro's heart and he'll spare...

my life when he finds me.

Hide her somewhere
on the island.

Baudeler Vieira will
end up forgetting it.

When you step into the boat, use
your right foot, all right?

I followed the Professor and I
lost my little portable radio...

my new shirt,
and my boat's motor.

All things taken into account,
I just wasted my time.

For the heIp I gave you, I
deserved more consideration.

I need money, Professor,
I'm not like your dear saint.

And don't pretend you're asleep,
for you never sleep.

What saint are you talking about?

Nothing.

It's a research
the Professor is doing.

Something very important,
for all of mankind.

You're more sincere when you lie
than when you tell the truth.

Holy Mary!

There she is!

Get back!

Sure, ''Baudeler Vieira will
end up forgetting it'', right?

He's ordering the boat back
to the beach.

Shit, I told my father
I was going to S�o Paulo.

-Are you crazy?
-Beat it!

You're not going to do anything?

What a scoundrelly thing to do,
to leave us with no support.

Holy Angel of the Lord,
my zealous guardian...

to whom divine pity has trusted
me with, who always guards me...

rules over me
and defends me. Amen.

Leave us alone!

Get down, Mad�!

Leave us alone,
for God's sake!

Mad�!

Baudeler Vieira, you coward!

I'll tear you apart,
you son of a bitch!

Coward!

You let her die.

Drop me at the place where you
found me, it's over there.

Get off my boat right now! Out!

Out!

That little earring
is really ridiculous!

Out!

Shit, you don't love anyone!

That story about loving all of
humankind is only an excuse...

not to have to like anyone!

You never loved anyone
in your whole life, man!

A life of shit, quadrillions
of centuries of shit...

alone in the world!

I want Mad� alive,
do you hear me?

I want Mad�!

I want Mad� back to me, alive!

What do you want to prove
through our suffering?

Mad�!

-You're crying.
-Are you alive?

You bet! Here!

The bullet hit it here. When I
realized I was alive I thought...

it'd be better to play dead...

so Baudeler would go for good.

I think it worked!

What were you saying just now?

That you are alive.

No, before that,
when I was dead.

Did you care about me, Taoca?

What is the Professor
doing there?

The guy is a little
off his rocker.

He's got a bad head, a problem
in his idea center.

Leave him alone.

Where's the Professor?

What's that up there?

A pitanga tree.

I can't see the Southern
Cross any longer.

-Where are we going?
-I don't know!

We'll think about it later.

It feels good, doesn't it...

to be like this, just with the
stars lighting up the night.

Are you sure the Professor
hasn't drowned?

Of course I do, Mad�.

He didn't come
from S�o Paulo, right?

As a matter of fact, I think
he's never been there.

The Professor has been everywhere
in the world, Mad�.

Taoca...

Who was really he?

You know something?

I think life is a harbor...

where you never dock.

Is that by...

for instance...

by some famous writer?

No ma'am.

It's by Edivalt�rcio Barbosa
da Anuncia��o...

with the brains God gave him.

Yes!
Praise the Lord!

l wish you were mine

At every serene
And quiet moment

As the shadow waits
For the wind

To blow on the edge
Of expectation

When everything claims
For your love

Wake up
Come look at the moon

That shines in the dark
Of the night

My darling, you're
So lovely and sweet

Loving you
ls like a dream

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