Original subtitles

GrupoBrasil Share - GBS is proud to presents:

GOD IS BRAZILIAN

Attention, all passengers take your seats!

Divine Grace is Faster than anything!

Welcome to the Celestial InFormation General Service.

If you are a Christian, press 1. A Spiritist, press 2.

If you are a Muslim, press 3. Thank you.

If you are a Roman Catholic, press one.

If you are an Orthodox Catholic, press two.

Now enter your baptism certificate number.

Baptism certificate. I don't even know where I kept it.

Attention, your time is running out.

Welcome to the Celestial Information General Service...

Thank you very much, my friend!

14

It was nice of you to keep my place here in the line.

Shameless bum!

What's going on here?

It's Baudeler Vieira, St Peter.

Baudeler Vieira, the loan shark!

This vermin can't go to Paradise before paying what he owes me!

What is this heartless usurer doing here?

He doesn't belong here. His pIace is at the bottom of Hell...

keeping company to all the bankers and thieves of his kind!

His death was just a shameless plan not to pay what he owes me.

Leave him with me just one more little day on Earth...

Then I'll ship him back to you. I promise you, my saint!

It is she!

Hail Mary, full of grace.

Our defender now and at the moment of our death, amen!

-He's not playing fair! -Help me, my Celestial Mother!

Wake up you, you look like you've seen a ghost.

It was Our Lady.

-Who? -Our Lady, Our Lord's Mother.

She was just about to show up.

Not even in a dream the mother of God would stoop as Iow as...

to let a scrounger like you see her.

All i know it's past noon and no one's shown up here yet.

-Really? -Let go of your mother's corn bread!

TIRE REPAIR

It's Baudeler Vieira, that bloodthirsty buzzard is here!

Fine! He knows the way here very well.

Tell him i'm away on a trip.

It will be of no use. That was the excuse I gave him last week.

But i can bring up one I used last month.

He's probably forgotten, like chicken pox, migraine...

death in the family, a seaquake.

Not a seaquake! There are no seaquakes in BraziI.

If i couId pay the interest on the money, he'd be happy enough.

Don't look at me!

You've got money bundled away.

I give you house and board.

But it's only a loan.

It happens all the time. You never pay me back.

This time i'll pay.

I will! Now seriously, i will.

I'd rather die than not pay.

I give you my word of honor!

Your blessing, father.

What? Going to the church again?

Father Ambr�sio sent for me.

What happened?

You could go a little bit faster, couldn't you?

Any minute now, Mr. Baudeler.

That reminds me. I'll have to charge you a little extra.

-Why? -It's lunch time.

Lunch time is sacred.

I'm only fixing your tire out of friendship.

Because it happens to be you.

I don't know the first thing about cars.

If i did...

That's Mercezinha.

Mercezinha, my daughter.

She's really into this church thing.

I never saw anybody attend so many masses.

You sure Taoca isn't home?

Dead sure.

If you like you can step into the house and see for yourself.

Make yourself at home.

A man spends his life making sacrifices all the way...

so he can loan out cash with interest...

in order to support his family.

And then out comes a son of a bitch like this guy and defauIts.

I'm sorry. I don't mean to offend you nor your respectable wife.

-It's your son. -Yes, but it's not my fault.

God made him my son, it's God's fault.

-You believe in God, don't you? -Yes, sure. Don't you?

Yes, sure, too.

God is like the wheel, the steamboat, and the airplane.

He was invented by man, but that doesn't mean he doesn't exist.

There's fish over there.

Just look, there's fish there.

Real fish, right over there.

Don't get so excited, it's not the end of the world.

That's mullet. You don't fish mullet with a hook.

Just a little whiIe ago you weren't there.

-You got here just now? -Yes.

How come you're not wet?

I didn't swim over here.

-And where's your boat? -I didn't come on a boat either.

Pretty strange. Where's your helicopter, then?

And excuse me for asking. What might be your name?

My name is Edivalt�rcio.

Edivalt�rcio Barbosa da Anuncia��o, pleased to meet you.

-And you? -You wouldn't believe me.

And I dislike lying. I never told a lie.

Very well, that's very good.

But on the other hand i won't stay here, talking to a guy...

whose name i don't know.

I am that I am.

The one who has no name.

The unnamed one.

Cut that out, because everyone has a name, even a street beggar.

Excuse me now. Good-bye.

The thing is, I am God.

What's this? What's this?

-Don't get nervous. -Nervous, me?

You think I'm the nervous kind?

Sissy gets nervous.

-I am angry, that's what I am now! -How long to get to the mainland?

Aren't you God? Why should you have to ask?

Are you stupid or have you been out in the sun too long?

Just because I'm here there's no need for any brouhaha...

No reason to show off. It's not my way.

123

You don't look like God to me, friend.

If I were the God of giraffes, I'd come as a giraffe.

You got a half-baked mind.

That's what is the troubIe with you.

I've had enough! Stop that!

That's enough, all right.

There was some music I heard it. Where did it come from?

>From heaven. Well, what now?

What now what?

Would you take me to the Penedo fair?

With this puny motor we wouldn't get there before nightfall.

Only by a miracle.

I'm not doing any miracles. That's all you think about.

I can leave you over there in Pia�abu�u, on the river's mouth.

What is a person of your consequence going to do there?

There's a fellow there I have to see.

And why don't you... I mean, why dost thou don't...

do a miracle and make this person just show up here?

And why instead of helping me you just stay there talking nonsense?

You're absoluteIy right, sir.

But you do know that fairs are things of the past, don't you?

Only the riffraff go to open-air markets.

If you need to buy something, you should go to a supermarket...

or to a shopping-center in the capitaI.

Things are no longer the way they were in your time.

It is not simple to do a miracle. Everything has to be readjusted.

You change something here you have to change something there.

A never-ending chore.

It's hell, if you pardon the expression.

I can imagine.

That's why I do very few miracles.

But the Bible says you used to do miracles all the time.

That was different. Back then I had to assert myself.

And even so most of the time they weren't really miracles...

Most were natural events that I set to coincide with my will...

so I wouldn't have to adjust too many things.

The famine in Egypt, for instance. That wasn't my doing.

All I did was to heIp Joseph predict its coming.

And how about the sea opening a passageway for Moses?

A comet passed near Earth and moved the waters off their place.

-And how about Lazarus? -Catalepsy.

I want people to Iike me the way I am.

I won't do miracles just to please anyone.

Sure, right you are.

I'd rather listen to music.

-You can change stations. -How do you do it?

-Come again? -Change stations?

>From here on you can find transportation...

or you can walk down the road. Penedo is close by.

No need to rush. At this hour there's no one else at the fair.

It opens again tomorrow morning.

In the old days he used to walk on water.

Bye now, may God be with you. I mean, God bless you...

Whatever!

That's a pitanga tree.

I know.

Good fruit. You can't find any now because...

You only get pitangas in winter, in July or in August.

One can see you know a thing or two about agriculture, huh?

Do you know someone called Quinca at the Penedo fair?

Of course not. I'm not very familiar with peopIe at the fair.

I don't consort with these people.

Quinca of the Mules, whose father was a mule driver.

Mule driver? I've got to go now. Or I'll miss supper back at home.

I hope it turns out fine for you. Been a pleasure.

I've had a wonderful time.

Do you see anything funny here?

I'm just thinking how you're going to pay Baudeler Vieira.

How do you know...

All right, you're laughing like this because you're not involved.

If you were...

Anyway what is a little old money...

for a person who created the whole, whole world?

Wait! I'm going with you!

How silly of me! How could I ever go back to the island...

and get there before supper?

Especially in this forlorn darkness. I might even drown.

Those clothes of yours are ridiculous.

-And the earring too. -No earring, it's a piercing.

So I thought and said to myself...

Edivalt�rcio, don't be a jackass. Get some sense into your head.

How can you leave God alone in a time of need like this!

Can anyone imagine how ungrateful this is?

A dirge. Aren't you hungry?

Hungry?

Where there's a deceased person there's always free food.

Can you wait just a moment?

Shrimp patties!

I'm crazy about it!

There are cheese patties too.

Poor fellow, isn't it? So young.

Cezinha, my nephew. He took a bean broth with turpentine oiI.

He killed himself? No!

Were you gentlemen friends of my son?

Cezinha's? What a question!

We've been friends since we were little kids.

You don't remember me because I went south. To S�o Paulo...

in order to finish my Biology studies...

-with our professor here. He. -S�o Paulo...

Right, the Professor is only passing by, aren't you, sir?

Actually he's going to Penedo to do some research at the fair.

But I didn't want him to go back to S�o Paulo...

without meeting Cezinha about whom I talk so much.

But now, this!

Unbelievable.

Just yesterday we were talking about him, weren't we, Professor?

I'm a truck driver.

One day I came back home before I was expected...

and found my wife with another man in our bed.

My little children were crying outside the house, on the street.

She made our life miserable and then went away.

She turned into a slut, a cheap streetwalker in S�o Paulo.

-Have you met her? -In S�o Paulo?

No, never. We don't go to whorehouses.

I mean, to this type of place.

Cezinha never forgot what his mother did to us.

Hi! How's everything?

Keep away from the bean broth.

He's lying.

-Who? -My father.

My mother Ieft because my father was an animal. He even beat her.

Everyone says she was beautiful and had a heart of gold.

Cezinha was crazy about her.

-I'm going to S�o Paulo with you. -May I ask who invited you?

''He forsook his life because he did not know how to be happy!''

That's another obsession of you people, being happy all the time.

Pardon me?

What he meant was...

''Who amongst you may live without wishing to be happy?''

Isn't that right? That's right.

I found my son with a pen in his hand and the notebook...

opened in this page.

I didn't know he wrote verses.

Poetry!

''Though my breast is full of love...

my will to live is not sappy.

They'll say about my suffering:

He forsook his life because he did not know how to be happy!

Why, isn't that beautiful!

-Fifth-class literature. -Pardon me?

I'm very sorry, but your son died in vain.

Those verses are hogwash.

What he meant was...

that those verses are... They're beautiful.

Something to that effect.

This is my mother.

Beautiful, isn't she?

She sent this to me from S�o Paulo just before she died.

It's the dress she wore when she married my father.

Take me to S�o Paulo with you.

Will you take me?

You... you, huh?

275

You could be less ungentlemanly toward the deceased's father.

Holy Mary!

I'm going to Penedo with you, then you take me to S�o Paulo.

Put your clothes back on, kid.

Get decent.

I'll say! What a brash woman she is!

Get dressed! The Professor won't get into any monkey business.

My name is Mad�, that's how everybody caIIs me.

What's yours?

Am I supposed to fill out a form to move around here?

Salvador!

His name is Emmanuel Salvador.

You're wasting your time, girl, I'm not going to S�o Paulo.

That's right, he's not going to S�o Paulo right now. Only later.

Will you stop lying?

My name is Edivalt�rcio, yes.

Comes from Edite, on my mother's side...

and Arivalt�rcio, on my father's side.

Edivalt�rcio Barbosa da Anuncia��o, pleased to meet you.

There it is, the house of the Lord.

Or rather, God's house, right? Your house.

Tell them who you are and ask to stay.

I guarantee they'll Iet you stay all night...

as comfortable as can be.

Then tomorrow morning we can get a ride to Penedo.

Hey, what's that, farting like that in front of...

of my friend here?

Sorry.

There are a few things that could stand some improvement.

You write everything down so you won't forget it later on, right?

There are a couple of things that could use some improvement.

I didn't ask for your opinion.

Is farting the only thing you're going to fix?

I created you people so enthusiastically!

But something turned out wrong, all wrong...

mischief is all you care about. And wars...

dire poverty, intolerance, exploitation, deceitfulness.

You're right, it must really be discouraging.

-Now, if you cared to... -It's not my fault!

I made the world, and then free will.

I left your fate in your own hands.

It's up to you, within all possible freedom.

And what do I get? I get blamed for everything!

There is nothing else I can do.

So it's every man for himself, right?

I think I've already gone too far for the size of my pecker here.

-Size of what? -Pecker. Prick.

Dick.

Penis...

-That's a cow. -I know, I invented it myself.

But we gave it a name. C-o-w. Cow.

There couldn't be a better name, it suits her fine.

I wonder if Your Excellency could confide...

with what purpose both of us are here...

looking for this Quinca of the Mules.

Where are you going?

Why all the hurry? Are the police after you?

A human being is not a refrigerator...

which you take back to the store if it doesn't work properly.

So I decided to stop worrying and get away on vacation.

You all give me so much aggravation I really need a rest.

Fair enough!

I just want to slide through galaxies, like in old times.

Wandering by the stars with nothing to do...

Lying on my back...

just watching those wonderful nuclear explosions...

of neutron supernovas.

Would you care for a patty?

The deceased's aunt gave me some.

I felt sorry for the deceased's father, you know that?

Being a truck driver is rough work, don't you agree?

A fellow is slaving on the road for a living, proud of himself...

And one day he gets home and finds this man taking on his bed.

It really must be tough, I tell you.

My problem is I have to find a saint to leave in my place.

A saint to kind of mind the store while I enjoy my vacation.

To find a saint here in BraziI?

So? BraziI is one of the most religious countries in the world.

And it has never had a saint officially recognized.

Is Your Holiness considering this Quinca to be a saint?

I'm not considering. I've already made up my mind.

And the Pope is His Holiness, I'm God. Try not to be so ignorant.

Quinca hasn't been around here for a long time now.

After his father died, Quinca rounded up the mules, sold them...

and gave all the money away to the poor, and then he went away.

Now, I tell you, it was a really awesome binge...

because they invested all the money in cheap liquor.

Now that Quinca disappeared, you might as well consider my name!

Consider your name for what?

I don't want to sound impertinent...

and I don't want you to think I am too pushy...

but I'd Iike you to know I'm at your service.

At your service to replace Quinca of the Mules.

You mean you want the saint's job?

I know I'm not the one you're looking for, but...

God writes straight with crooked lines!

I never wrote anything with crooked Iines in my whole life.

It's just that you people don't know how to read.

I may not be perfect, but I'm not the worst man in the world.

If I became a saint my first miracle would be to find money...

to renovate the island's main church. A lot of money!

I know I don't have all the necessary learning for the job...

but I'd get some training. You would show me the way and I...

Do you want me to tell you why you can't be a saint, Taoca?

You couId aIways find a way.

If you want we can start from the time you were a little boy.

So long ago?

Listen, when you were seven, you and your cousin Deraldo...

All right, all right!

Holy Mary... Seven?

Does this mean we're going to have another strip-tease?

What are you doing here in Penedo?

Oh, it's Miss H.

Did you come to the fair just to watch television?

It's Miss H on television.

People here like her more than anything in the world.

More than anything in the world?

Except God, of course.

Because then you've got to go right to the point.

It's like in the 10 Commandments. To love God above all.

That's all he thinks about. And he's right!

That's he! Quinca of the Mules.

What you doing?

-I want to hear. -Then adjust the control.

So, did you enjoy it? The little darlings!

That was the story of my visit to the Home of God Orphanage...

in Stubborn Brasilia shantytown.

Give your contribution.

They'll give anything Miss H asks for.

Damned stupid people, aren't they?

-Where is the shantytown? -In Recife.

I have to go there to see Quinca of the Mules.

You have the money for the bus ticket?

But you're going to see to it that the money pops up?

You're joking. I, produce money?

You mean you think I'm a forger? Is that what you think of me?

A forger? Me, call you a forger?

No one mentioned forged money. Real legitimate money...

bills with the President's signature and all that.

No way we can walk all the way down to Recife.

BUS TICKETS

Let me tell you about this little receiver.

I bought it for 40, but you can have it for 34. I need the money.

Take a look, feel it.

Here you are.

Did you change your radio for it?

I couldn't let Your Holiness tread around...

running the risk of coming across a murderous robber on the road.

423

Oh hell... Sorry.

At this time there are no more buses to Recife, you see.

Only after lunchtime. We're going to have to loiter around a while.

There is a personal reflection of mine...

which I want to share with you.

As long as you already are busy...

at fixing a couple of things...

with all due respect, I find a certain oversight on your part...

as far as the position...

of the sexual organs is, so to speak, badly resolved.

I think the urinating place and the defecation place...

shouldn't be in the sexual place.

So close to the sexual place.

Do you realize what I'm trying to say?

The pipe a man pisses with...

shouldn't be the pipe men use to make babies, so to speak.

If a plumber did a job Iike that in my house...

I'd fire him on the spot and wouldn't pay him anything.

I think hygiene commands us to be a bit wary, a bit watchful.

One thing is a sewer, and another...

It is her!

It is her! Can't you see?

The girl! There!

Where have you two been hiding?

Professor, let's hit the road to Recife.

-Whose vehicle is this? -I don't know.

-What you mean, you don't know? -I stole it. Let's get going.

WELCOME TO PERNAMBUCO

-What's your name? -Juliana

-How old are you? -Eight.

Quinca has been around...

working with us in teaching our children how to read.

But he read that the Government was organizing a cooperative...

to build a dam in the dry backlands, so he left for there.

Where?

The Baticum Valley is in the middle of the boonies.

-We'll get transportation. -With what money?

No one is going to spoil my vacation in the stars.

The Baticum Valley...

Wouldn't it be possible to find a saint right here or nearby?

Saints are scarcer and scarcer.

When I find one I raise my hands to Heaven.

But that's my point. Now, if you felt like it...

we'd fly over to the Baticum like birds. You just have to wish it.

Everything ends up on my back, it never fails.

Everyone wants everything easy and for no price.

It's always 'God give me health, God give me a husband...

God make me win the lottery, God this, God that.

Only God knows...'

No one can take that! Everything is with me, with me, with me.

I get stressed!

I told you to return the truck and go back home.

Yes.

But there's almost no more gas, I can't drive back.

Excuse us, my good friend, come on.

Let's move, because alms here are difficult, huh Professor?

No way.

It's not charity. They're selling their children.

They're cheaper than those at the orphanage.

Sorry.

God sticks to this nonsense of refusing to work miracles.

This miracle thing, it's all made up.

I never met anyone in my life who saw a miracle.

Was I talking to you?

In a situation like this he could get us some money...

so we could give our poor stomachs something to do.

-All you think about is eating. -People die from lack...

of food. Not from lack of a saint.

Put your hands together!

And there'll be plenty of money.

The Professor is a magician?

No. I mean, a real magician...

the type we're used to seeing, no, not that way.

A magic trick is not a miracle.

I am going to put it here and then pass the cards...

Yes! A magic trick is not a miracle!

That's kind of an old one, isn't it?

Camone-se, boy!

Camone-se to see the magic of... Mandrake!

Yes! Sursum corda!

And here you have, Iadies and gentlemen, a whole cocoanut tree...

that Mandrake brings you out of nothing.

Exactly like in the Genesis, on the day of Creation!

Now only Adam and Eve aren't here, isn't it?

Holy Mary! Have you gone mad?

Throw it!

Throw it!

How much do we already have?

Hold it a second, not yet!

How much, how much?

I can't resign myself to that!

It was going to rain money, it was going to be a golden mine.

A couple more weeks working there, we couId even retire.

I'm still too young to retire.

The professor could make a fortune doing magic.

That's what I keep saying. This man is so pigheaded...

you Iose all patience with him.

How do you do all those things?

It can only be hypnotism. Because it really seemed I was dreaming.

Everything a human being imagines may be done, Mad�.

It's only a matter of training.

Will you pass me the salt, please?

-May I order a beer? -A beer?

Get drunk and drive? To risk the life of the Professor?

The gas tank is full now.

At Baticum Valley, Mad� will return the truck...

and go back home.

Do we still have money for the bus tickets?

How many tickets?

Two or three?

You must have been a little lonely, weren't you?

-When? -When you invented the world.

Your Excellency made this world all by yourself...

without anyone to give you an opinion or to keep you company.

I never needed company.

Your Highness never had a father, never had a mother...

or a relative or neighbor or anyone. You're always lonesome...

roving amidst the stars...

watching them pop up, without even a paI for idle conversation.

542

Or a woman all yours, someone to cuddle up to, a little love...

I love what I myself created. I love humankind, for example.

In spite of everything!

I know you have lots of experience.

You're gone through a lot.

But it's impossible to take care of everything alone.

I need to get this saint and go on my vacation.

I agree I don't have what it takes to be a saint...

I've got too many flaws, we've been through that.

But there's my sister Mercezinha back on the island.

She's a fine girl, an example of kindness...

charity, religiousness.

Mercezinha practically lives in the church, ask Father Ambr�sio.

Father Ambr�sio!

Mercezinha is one of the few remaining virgins in Brazil.

Maybe in the whole worId!

Ask Father Ambr�sio.

Father Ambr�sio?

I mean no offense at all...

but I won't change my 23 years...

five months and eighteen days of age for your...

quadrillion centuries, drifting about with no one around.

Not a chance.

Poor fellow, always so alone!

You vermin! Pay me back what you owe me!

Help me my beloved Our Lady!

Help me, Our Lady, give me your protection!

Help me, my Celestial Mother!

The Professor vanished.

The passengers are all outside, the bus is out of order.

-How long to fix it? -Only God knows.

-Where is he? -God?

No, the Professor. Where is he?

I have no idea. When I woke up he had already disappeared.

I asked everyone, and nobody knows.

Where can he possibly be hiding?

Professor!

The Southern Cross must be up there.

What I really would like to see it's a flying saucer.

The music!

I think it's coming that way.

Have they fixed that old can?

It'll take more than a century to fix that rat trap.

Can't you give them a hand?

I know nothing about engines, and I don't read instruction manuals.

What is this fire on the cashew tree?

A lightning struck it.

But I didn't notice any rain.

And is that necessary? I mean...

the backlands are a strange place.

The bus is that way!

I'm going to the Baticum Valley.

-On foot? -You tick-headed!

How did the Indians do it, before the wheeI was invented?

This guy is really getting to be a grumpy old man, I'll tell you.

I've got to go out in the bushes!

I have to take a pee!

Professor!

Women are a pain in the neck most of the time!

A man wouldn't even need to stop.

602

He'd just go on walking, and... ppffff!

Oh mother...

I'm so alone!

So alone!

Mad�! How about it, aren't ever going to finish?

What is it?

it was God, it was God There's no reason for dismay

And even if I have the gift of prophecy...

and know all the mysteries

and all the science in the world

and gather so much faith I can move mountains

even so if I don't have love, I am nothing.''

It was out of love for us that God created the world...

and set us here on Earth to live in Paradise.

God is good, fair, and charitable...

merciful, truthful, loving...

generous, beautiful, brilliant...

fantastic, wonderful, eternal and...

-Perfect! Perfect! -Most perfect.

And life only makes sense...

if we love him above all else, because he deserves it.

Bravo! Bravo!

Taoca, give this good man a coin.

All our money is with you.

Thank you, my son, thank you very much.

You foIks passing by?

We were walking down the road...

but this friend of mine got tired, he's getting old.

Excuse my asking, but where are you heading?

-If you can tell me. -To the Baticum Valley.

-You know it?

-You're there.

Where is the dam they are building somewhere around here?

-It's been built already. -And the place sure needed it.

The drought was so harsh our jackass ate the Brazilian flag.

It was the only green thing around.

When they finished the dam, the landowner kicked everyone out.

The big boss was the only one who could use the dam.

And the cooperative?

They were all driven away.

Everybody left, they're not stupid.

Come closer, help yourselves to some good cashew wine.

This is Quel�, my brother. And I am Tuinho.

But the real names are Ant�nio Clemente, and CIemente Ant�nio.

The folks who built the dam left and....

I know.

But don't you worry, because everything ends well.

When it's not well, it's because it's not the end yet.

Yes, this week it's going to rain.

-How do you know? -The ''Perpetual Moon Almanac''.

''Perpetual Moon''...

It's and almanac we have here.

You've got to see it, it never makes a mistake.

Did you know that God created the world in September?

That's right, it's in the almanac.

Same month as the Brazilian Independence.

Did you know that the Andromeda galaxy...

is fast approaching the Milky Way?

They're going to collide, and in the explosion...

there go Earth, the Sun, the Moon, the planets, everything.

Will you excuse me?

But that's only going to happen many million years from now.

Tuinho thinks Luzinete should dance with our guest.

That's right. What is your name, please?

Salvador. His name is Emmanuel Salvador.

As for myself, I'm... No one.

Professor, dance with the bride.

You don't want to offend her, do you?

Go ahead, Luzinete, dance with him.

Go ahead, Luzinete.

-Go ahead, woman. -No!

What's going on?

Dance with him, Luzinete!

Mad�.

That's enough.

I never saw anyone dance forr� grabbing the partner so tight.

I wasn't dancing forr�. I danced a Viennese waltz.

You don't know how fortunate you are. You have no needs...

and stay unworried because you know you're not going to die.

Not me! At night I'm afraid of the dark and in daylight...

Everyday I wake up can be the day of my death.

If you wanted, I could live forever like the angels.

Death was my best invention.

It was all becoming just the same when I had that idea.

Without death the world would end up too boring.

Cashew wine?

I'd rather eat.

We'll buy some food on our way.

No! I can't believe!

I gave it all.

You gave all our money to that preacher at the wedding?

Let me have that back.

The money was mine too!

I helped earn it with the sweat of my face.

Now this, this is all I needed, getting fleeced by God!

I'VE BEEN LIKE THE DEVIL LIKES.

I'm a piece of shit.

You can say I'm a piece of shit, I know I am. Say it!

-You're a piece of shit. -You didn't have to say that.

You told me to tell you you're a piece of shit. I did.

But said with that assurance it hurts a man's feelings.

Taoca, where's the Professor?

You've got to stop thinking about that old bachelor.

I can guarantee you don't have the slightest chance with him.

No problem. God helps me.

God doesn't give a shit... About us, that is.

It's Quinca of the Mules! It's Quinca of the Mules!

This is about a war in an Indian reservation. Only Indians.

It is Quinca of the Mules, I'm positive.

What's so important about Quinca?

Nothing, it's just a job the Professor is trying to get him.

Isn't that so, Professor?

Where is this... Jalap�o?

in Tocantins!

''Armadillos are Fine But it makes my back hurt

Because their backside is so low

That's why i prefer Nanny goats

Jalap�o is in Tocantins, near where I'm going.

If you want a ride...

I notice you enjoy the view a Iot, don't you?

It's very pretty indeed.

So many ugly things that you get startled when you see...

something pretty. It lights up your thoughts.

If it weren't for ugly things, there'd be no pretty things.

Ever heard of Palmas? It's right over there...

Tomorrow morning I'm going to get the insurance money.

>From here it's easy to get a ride to Jalap�o.

A truck going that way passes by all the time.

Been a pleasure.

OswaIdo Zenildo. If you need me just Iook me up.

That's not his real name.

I saw a different one among the truck's papers.

Taoca, have you ever taken a plane ride?

No, never.

Now, an authority of your stature...

should not be taking free truck rides.

You should really go by airplane.

Or at least by taxi.

Would you tell me how you intend to find Quinca here?

It's none of your business.

Are you really sure Quinca is the only possible...

candidate for the job you're thinking about?

In nomine Patri et Filii et Spiritus Sancti, amen.

Your mommy...

Our CelestiaI Mother, Our Lady of Perpetual Help, amen.

Excuse me for intruding, but this Quinca you're looking for...

is the same Quinca who lives here in Jalap�o?

You know him, kid?

I show you the way to his house, but there is a condition.

To help my mother with her household expenses.

Trouble is, money's not very easy here, kid.

Messiah. Messiah Duarte dos Anjos.

It's to buy food for my mother and my five little brothers.

No, not five. Seven.

You were never in need all of your life.

It's understandable you don't care about having regular meals.

But could you be so considerate as to say...

how we're going to pay for the information provided by Moses?

Messiah.

No problem, they're both from the same book.

There's another question I think deserves special attention.

The question of this girl, Mad�.

This girl has been with us for a very long time now, get it?

We know the kind of man her father is.

And the police is after us...

all of Brazil, her father and the police after us. How long...

can we stand this situation?

I think it wouldn't cost anything...

It's Miss H ! It's Miss H from television!

Let's help, everyone! A little donation for the love of God!

A little donation for the love of God!

They like me, Taoca, more than anything in the world.

Ssshhh! Sir... huh... ! Ma'am, you forgot to change your voice.

And a donation is not a miracle either, is it?

Come on, drop your donation in this little box, come on!

Carefully! Drop your donation, for the love of God.

It's Our Lady of Perpetual Help.

Good thing the Professor remembered to drop by his ATM.

While those chumps were drooling all over Miss H...

he went there, smart as ever, and got a little money for us.

Miss H is always asking for money and food for the poor.

They say Communism is trying to make a comeback.

One for us, one for you, one for us.

One for us, one for you, one for us...

Those blue eyes. I wonder how...

they came up with that blond blue-eyed face of an American.

Couldn't be otherwise. In those days there were no cameras.

People started saying how he looked like and he got this face.

-I talk to him now and then. -To Jesus?

His story was unfair. The father should sacrifice for his son.

It's a guest here in my boardinghouse. He's got cancer.

The doctors have given up on him.

When he remembers he's going to die, he rebels against it...

breaks everything in his way and complains.

Boy, how he complains! It'll be over in a while.

Go to bed, Mr. Gisl�nio.

Sleep, man.

He just doesn't resign himself to it.

Do you want to try it?

I know nothing about those contraptions.

This is a site to talk to the dead.

I've spoken to Catherine of Russia...

President Vargas, Princess Diana...

Do you have a dead loved one you might wish to talk to?

I do.

I'd like to talk to my mother.

Do you remember how she looked?

I don't really remember.

I was too little when she left for S�o Paulo.

Have you something that belonged to her?

She gave this to me.

Then it's not hers, it's yours.

What did she die of?

Aids, it seems.

What was her name?

The real name or the professional one?

Makes no difference.

Put down Sheila Madalena, like me.

Mommy...

-The money! -Take it.

Go home, and take care of your life.

But you're going to give everything away once more?

Go live your life.

You're my life now.

I'm going wherever you're going.

I won't be a bother. Please.

I couId be your father. Your grandfather.

Your great great-grandfather.

Go now. And let's step on it, I'm in a hurry.

Do you think I've got nothing else to do in my life?

It's plain to see you never loved anyone in your life, Professor.

You have no heart.

I invented the heart.

Here they are, Mr. Quinca.

But this is not Quinca of the Mules!

PIease don't mind this mess!

837

I've been without a maid for some time, you see?

They don't want to work in homes anymore.

They charge a fortune. It's so expensive!

Where are you from?

This land here is very hospitable.

A land of good people, simple people...

but good-hearted people, I'm certain.

Well, I did my part, now please excuse me, I have to leave.

I'm taking the present you gave me to my poor mommy.

And to my eight little brothers.

Seven.

Well then!

What is the job you have for me?

Who is the victim?

Victim?

You can trust me.

Because I mean a one hundred percent guarantee...

that the victim is going to eat grass by the root...

kick up his toes, and give up the ghost to his Maker.

Give me a picture of this person. I never failed, thank God.

I'm sorry but there seems to be a misunderstanding.

We're looking for Quinca of the Mules and not...

Quinca Batalha, at your beck and call.

You mean you don't have a job for me?

We don't.

I'm not the kind of man that puts a gun in his hand...

and goes out robbing people.

No, I'm never going to do that, I'm not going to steal.

I'm not going to taint my name at this point in life.

No one calls me anymore!

Right now there's a war going on in the Indian reservation...

I couId be there helping.

A war in the Indian reservation!

Yes, in their reservation.

The Government settled the Indians there...

but the farmers want the land to make cattle pastures.

It's progress, there's nothing one can do.

Man, aren't you lucky!

To run across someone who knew the direction of the Indians!

Very, very Iucky!

People underestimate it...

but being God must be really tough work.

It's hard labor, that's what it is, studying to be a magician...

practicing dancing Viennese waltzes...

learning how to impersonate television stars...

to memorize the words of country music songs, and other things.

And just to hire some jerk to be a saint...

not giving a damn to the rest of the world.

Really, you know, I never thought...

I'd feel sorry for God. But I am feeling.

You didn't get wet in the rain, huh?

It's he, Taoca! No doubt about it!

Quinca of the Mules?

What you want, fooit! , from me?

I need to talk to you.

About, fooit, what?

I have a proposition for you.

But what a propro... propos, fooit! , zition?

It's a rather delicate matter, which I prefer to approach...

privately. No rush, just you and I.

Did the farm... the faaaarms... fooit! ...

How come this dummy gave lessons stuttering that way?

I'll bet the kids are illiterate!

-Did the fars... -Stop that stutter!

Did the farmers send you here?

Did the farmers send you here?

The farmers were the ones who sent you here!

Did they?

The farmers were the ones who sent you here!

The farmers were the ones who sent you here!

I never talked like that. It's some sort of a miracle!

Yes, but it isn't a miracle, huh, Professor?

Of course you know that stuttering comes out of nervousness.

And yours went away with your fright by Professor's shout.

Unconstitutional! Antidisestablishmentarianism!

An unconstitutional antidisestablishmentarianism!

I first heard about these Indians...

when some white boys had set fire to one of them...

who was sleeping under an overpass in the capital.

The tribe didn't do anything. Just kept on chanting...

for the one who died.

All they did was whine, whine, just whine.

This has got meningitis. We don't have a medicine for it.

Now he's a doctor?

No one needs a college education to take care of the others.

Haven't I seen you before, somewhere else?

If you had, I bet you wouldn't forget.

I want to have a conversation with you, just the two of us.

I can have a great influence on the outcome of this conversation.

You know how it is, the man here is my bosom pal.

We're practically brothers.

A thrush, a thrush.

Yes!

A blue-crowned trogon!

Blue macaw!

Jacamar! Yes, jacamar!

Nunbird!

Tinamou, tinamou!

How can you do all those birdsongs so well?

I was the one who made the birds.

And all the rest too.

I'm the one who made it all.

It was such a simple idea!

Basically what I did was to mix hydrogen 75%...

helium 24% and the remaining one per cent I put in carbon...

nitrogen, oxygen and stuff, for a total of 92 elements.

The rest were details and fine-tuning.

An idea of beauty more beautiful than the speech of the angels.

Then I gave the world to you, and never had another day's peace.

All you know is to fight one another, and destroy what I made.

That means, if I heard you right, you're God.

-And want you to become a saint. -Come again?

I got tired of all the mess, and decided to take a vacation.

Then I need a fresh saint, to look after things while I'm away.

-I'm supposed to be that saint. -Exactly.

It was just because you struck me as a good man...

that I'm putting up with this crazy talk.

Otherwise I'd tell you to go back to the madhouse you escaped from.

I've got more important things to do. This is getting nowhere.

-Why is it getting nowhere? -First, because I'm not a saint.

Aren't you?

Touch him.

-What for? -Lay your hand...

and see if he doesn't get well right away.

There's no meningitis for a saint.

Touch him.

Touch him!

Don't push me!

And find yourself another lunacy, because God is out of fashion.

It's not I who's not in fashion, it's the fashion.

-You could have saved his life. -I'm not God.

But I am. I made everything that exists.

There could be fewer waterfalls and more food for everyone.

When you become a saint, see to it.

I don't want to become a saint.

Being a saint is wonderful. It'll be a cinch!

There are a few sacrifices, but it's very rewarding.

I'll bet you'll ask for 20%, like your friend just did.

Being a saint is an important job. It's a select group.

Taoca tried to charge you a commission?

You know what?

978

Stop badgering me. There's no way I can be a saint!

-Why? -I don't believe in God.

I never did and never will. I'm an atheist.

That's a hitch. But I'm here to solve this probIem personally.

Prove me you're God.

I can't go around making miracles.

Then go away and don't bother me, I'm an atheist.

In a situation of serious crisis, in a case of maximum alert...

I think I can make an exception and put on a great show.

Like when I had manna raining on the wilderness...

or sent out the wheels of fire for Elijah.

I invented day and night the way they are.

But when Joshua invaded Canaan and needed my heIp...

I stopped the Sun and the Moon.

I stretched days and nights so he could win the war.

I can stretch, so I can also shrink.

Day and night will last as long as it strikes my fancy.

Time takes the time I want it to take.

And we get old together, just as quick as the day passes?

Enough!

Enough!

Enough!

Have you understood...

and assimilated? Have I explained...

imparted, analyzed? Are we now in agreement, you ass?

Tricks! Those were all tricks, you hypnotized me!

That was hypnotism, it was all a put-on!

I'm God! I do not deal with put-ons!

Find someone else for the job of saint, I don't want it.

It doesn't matter. You'll be a saint, you son of a mare!

I'm an atheist!

I'll be back some day, be sure of that, you clod.

But you're not going to convince me!

-You mule. -You con man.

-No harm in waiting, you wretch. -You can wait! I'm an atheist!

What's going on?

I'm easy to live with...

but I can't stand people disagreeing with me.

I...

ffooit! , am an... an ath... Atheist!

Sometimes I'm afraid of you, sir.

Don't be silly, you haven't got enough imagination for that.

Professor, don't let yourself be disturbed by that boor...

who would make a very bad saint.

Why does a person want to be a mule driver, a schoolteacher...

a dam builder and a doctor, all in one life?

And now, where are we going?

I have to go back from the place you saw me, or I'll have...

to rearrange everything and I don't want any more trouble.

Are you leaving?

Just like that? Is it all over?

Yes.

So that's it.

A man here using all the elbow grease to cooperate with him...

and then he just vanishes to his rest among his stars.

-And me, what happens to me? -You'll hang around as usual...

-owing all the world and his brother. -I don't owe you anything.

Now...

let's drop by the boardinghouse. See if everything is all right.

Go ahead and say you miss Mad�.

Me? Not me!

By this time she must have left.

Probably with the first guy that turned up.

A cuckold's feelings!

And what does Your Highness know? You never even had a girl friend.

Why do you people only see the value...

of something after losing it.

Taoca!

Stella?

What are you doing here, woman, so far from the island?

-Baudeler is taking us up north. -Who?

Me.

They're building an electricity plant in the wilderness.

And all those workers with nothing to do on their days off.

The demand for the product pussy seems to be huge.

We'll not leave them at the mercy of their own hands.

It's unpatriotic, isn't, girls?

Yes!

Mr. Baudeler Vieira!

Boy, what a coincidence. I can't beIieve!

What a heck of a coincidence, I was here looking for you.

Here. It's not much... But it comes from the heart.

This doesn't even cover the interest.

If it wasn't too much trouble for you, we could try...

Professor!

They're heading north. They are going into whoredom there.

-And what's wrong with that? -Are you going to let her go?

Are you any relation of hers?

No.

Forgive me for saying so, but you're really too irresponsible.

I didn't force anyone to come with me.

They're coming because they want to.

I agreed on the price of each and every one of them...

gave them new clothes and an advance in cold cash...

that I earned with the sweat of my own face.

For this one...

I also paid a fee to the boy who brought her to me.

-Moses. -Messiah.

Mad�, give back the money Mr. Baudeler advanced you.

-And you come with me. - Me?

I'm going to find a way to get my money back.

Some workers might enjoy a male ass...

especially a limp-wristed like you.

God Our Lord told humankind to grow up and multiply.

But people exaggerated...

and we're going to solve the overpopulation problem on Earth.

We queers are going to save this planet, darling.

That tire's a bit flat, isn't it?

-Which one? -On the other side.

-What you mean, flat? -I don't know!

But Taoca ought to know, he fixes tires.

Yes! Completely down.

It doesn't look like it.

Tires are my business, I know.

This is very, very dangerous.

On a road like this it may even burst out.

But don't you worry. I'll get the jack and I'll get this done...

in a trice, you hear?

-Are you coming with us? -I think so.

Don't give it a thought, it's on the house.

Courtesy of the house!

We left the girls and Baudeler Vieira's bus on the road...

and then we dropped Mad� at the bus station.

Mad� is going away to S�o Paulo, my Mother.

Oh, poor little you!

I think she's never coming back.

Pray to God, my son.

God never paid any attention to me...

he's always putting me down.

And me here, in this valley of tears. I'm suffering so much!

Love is a very strange thing, isn't it?

It's true. Yes, ma'am.

Help me, my Celestial Mother!

Only my kerosene kept vigil To his holy sleep

Holy as his name And his rare smile

l used to fly high because l had A pair of large wings

Until one day l fell

And here l am at This samba court

Listening to the work OF Heavens

And here l am at This war court

Listening to the battle OF Heavens

ln this court of fallen angels

Here on Earth, there ls work everyday

To raise and break walls

Kill one's hunger Quench one's thirst

Carrying a water basin On one's head

And this Fire that His mouth sends

To our creation

What they are saying is that human beings are fallen angels...

that God sent down to Earth as a punishment...

for their having criticized Creation.

Then they learned with the animals how to have offspring...

they became numerous and began inventing houses, streets...

countries and a mountain of machines, with the purpose...

of imitating God and fumble with everything he had invented.

In the beginning, God became very angry.

But his heart softened toward with the fallen angels' charm...

and the wrong way they did everything...

surprising, out of control...

Different from the rest.

Humankind learned from God how to create...

and God learned from humankind how to love.

You were not smoking that stuff, were you?

They're all bums and outlaws. You don't know the story here.

That was all we needed.

Soon it will be broad daylight, and we'll go down the river.

You did your best here, didn't you?

I'm glad you noticed, sometimes I think nobody cares.

Can you please lower the music a little, just a little?

The volume.

Thank you.

Music jumbles up my head. It doesn't let me think straight.

You don't know what that first morning in Paradise was like.

I had just created the world and, when I found myself in front...

of all that beauty I did feel so proud of myself!

It was all perfection.

You'll have to pardon me, but if the world was really perfect...

there would be no bats sucking blood...

nor there would be seaquakes, volcanoes, hurricanes.

When everything was finished.

I felt like having someone see what I had done.

And I was so alone.

It was then that my headaches started.

If I was there, I would have told you that it would never work out.

You guys make too many mistakes!

Where you people have found such a knack to do the wrong thing?

Where?!

You really must be very tired.

It's not fair that you go without your vacation among the stars.

So you won't go back empty-handed...

there is another cousin of mine. Not Deraldo, but Miltinho.

He is virtue itself! If you met him...

you'd forget Quinca of the Mules, and call my cousin to be a saint.

I have his phone number. He lives here in the mainland.

We could give him a ring...

you'd kind of give him an oral test, he would start answering...

A nice northeasterly breeze!

We can arrive where you found me in no time.

All right.

What did you do before creating Heaven and Earth?

Don't be an idiot, time didn't exist then.

There's no ''before'', before the Creation.

The motor! They stole my boat's motor!

Mad�!

Weren't you on the road to S�o Paulo?

No, I wasn't. I'm going to no S�o Paulo any more.

I decided to save money, and buy a truck of my own.

I'll live my life right here, Professor, you hear?

You know what's best for you.

And Mr. Baudeler's advance? Are you going to return it?

No, I'm not. I need the money to buy my truck.

Good Lord, now she's really gone crazy. Are you out of your mind?

I don't think so.

Baudeler Vieira bought her. She's his, nothing one can do.

In what world you think you are?

I'm taking you back to Baudeler!

Who knows it won't appease that burro's heart and he'll spare...

my life when he finds me.

Hide her somewhere on the island.

Baudeler Vieira will end up forgetting it.

When you step into the boat, use your right foot, all right?

I followed the Professor and I lost my little portable radio...

my new shirt, and my boat's motor.

All things taken into account, I just wasted my time.

For the heIp I gave you, I deserved more consideration.

I need money, Professor, I'm not like your dear saint.

And don't pretend you're asleep, for you never sleep.

What saint are you talking about?

Nothing.

It's a research the Professor is doing.

Something very important, for all of mankind.

You're more sincere when you lie than when you tell the truth.

Holy Mary!

There she is!

Get back!

Sure, ''Baudeler Vieira will end up forgetting it'', right?

He's ordering the boat back to the beach.

Shit, I told my father I was going to S�o Paulo.

-Are you crazy? -Beat it!

You're not going to do anything?

What a scoundrelly thing to do, to leave us with no support.

Holy Angel of the Lord, my zealous guardian...

to whom divine pity has trusted me with, who always guards me...

rules over me and defends me. Amen.

Leave us alone!

Get down, Mad�!

Leave us alone, for God's sake!

Mad�!

Baudeler Vieira, you coward!

I'll tear you apart, you son of a bitch!

Coward!

You let her die.

Drop me at the place where you found me, it's over there.

Get off my boat right now! Out!

Out!

That little earring is really ridiculous!

Out!

Shit, you don't love anyone!

That story about loving all of humankind is only an excuse...

not to have to like anyone!

You never loved anyone in your whole life, man!

A life of shit, quadrillions of centuries of shit...

alone in the world!

I want Mad� alive, do you hear me?

I want Mad�!

I want Mad� back to me, alive!

What do you want to prove through our suffering?

Mad�!

-You're crying. -Are you alive?

You bet! Here!

The bullet hit it here. When I realized I was alive I thought...

it'd be better to play dead...

so Baudeler would go for good.

I think it worked!

What were you saying just now?

That you are alive.

No, before that, when I was dead.

Did you care about me, Taoca?

What is the Professor doing there?

The guy is a little off his rocker.

He's got a bad head, a problem in his idea center.

Leave him alone.

Where's the Professor?

What's that up there?

A pitanga tree.

I can't see the Southern Cross any longer.

-Where are we going? -I don't know!

We'll think about it later.

It feels good, doesn't it...

to be like this, just with the stars lighting up the night.

Are you sure the Professor hasn't drowned?

Of course I do, Mad�.

He didn't come from S�o Paulo, right?

As a matter of fact, I think he's never been there.

The Professor has been everywhere in the world, Mad�.

Taoca...

Who was really he?

You know something?

I think life is a harbor...

where you never dock.

Is that by...

for instance...

1280

by some famous writer?

No ma'am.

It's by Edivalt�rcio Barbosa da Anuncia��o...

with the brains God gave him.

Yes! Praise the Lord!

l wish you were mine

At every serene And quiet moment

As the shadow waits For the wind

To blow on the edge Of expectation

When everything claims For your love

Wake up Come look at the moon

That shines in the dark Of the night

My darling, you're So lovely and sweet

Loving you ls like a dream

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