Original subtitles

I'm here.

EPISODE 13

What was so urgent?

Why do both of you look so serious?

What?

Sit down.

What is it?

Do you want something to drink?

I'll have something cold.

Here. I just poured this.

What is it?

Did I do something wrong?

Jae-yeol is very sick, Hae-soo.

What?

What do you mean?

From what we've seen,

we think he's schizophrenic.

MENTAL DISORDER

What are his active symptoms?

SYMPTOMS OF MENTAL DISORDER

Do you know about Kang-woo?

Has Jae-yeol mentioned him?

Yes, he talks about him often.

Kang-woo is Jae-yeol's visual hallucination.

SEEING IMMATERIAL OBJECTS IN THE ABSENCE OF EXTERNAL STIMULUS

Kang-woo doesn't exist.

I've looked into his school, home and everything else.

He just doesn't exist.

I asked Jae-yeol earlier today where he kept the writings that Kang-woo wrote.

He said he kept them in the drawer of his desk at Dong-min's house

so I looked everywhere but there wasn't anything.

Hello?

Did the phone ring?

You didn't hear it?

Hey, Kang-woo.

Three years ago when my brother stabbed me with a fork,

he was one of my fans who were crying for me.

Kang-woo was in an accident...

JAE-YEOL JANG

I'm half convinced that I should say yes.

That by itself is insufficient.

Look at the computer on the desk.

JAE-YEOL JANG

Hey, it's me.

Hey, Hae-soo.

What did you mean by that text?

What do you mean?

If you're only half convinced

then aren't you back at stage one?

Stage one would be not convinced at all.

Fine, I lost.

Let's start over. Where are you right now?

I'm in a meeting.

I see. No wonder you sounded so nervous.

Be careful when you go home. Don't call me because I'm going to write.

I won't say I love you because you might get tired of it.

What's the story behind this clip?

Two months ago, Jae-yeol said he got into a fight with Kang-woo's dad.

That footage was captured by a CCTV camera nearby.

A kid I know was beaten up by his dad.

His name is Kang-woo. I like the kid.

I couldn't just watch him get beaten up by his dad.

Why did you get involved in someone else's matter?

People said the same thing when my stepfather beat me and my mother.

No one stopped him from beating us because it wasn't their matter.

In the end, he was stabbed and the news got out to the world.

I think his mother was the real culprit of the crime that happened 14 years ago.

Their house caught on fire after his stepfather was stabbed with the knife.

The mother was suffering from dissociation when she started the fire.

A MENTAL DETACHMENT FROM REALITY

Looking at the case, she still can't remember what happened back then.

Jae-yeol pinned his brother as the culprit in order to protect his mom.

I think his condition is the result of his inability to handle his guilt.

I think Kang-woo is the manifestation of Jae-yeol when he was younger.

But...

there's a bigger problem than his hallucination of Kang-woo.

He could hurt himself by trying to protect Kang-woo.

He's not aware that his hallucination comes from

his guilt that he feels towards his brother.

We should run some examinations.

He needs to get an MRI, a psychological examination

and we need to examine his functioning levels.

You think this is a brain abnormality rather than a psychiatric illness?

We can't exclude that possibility.

Then how will you explain that this went on for three years?

I think we should get him admitted immediately.

What do you think?

I'll tell you after I run some tests.

Have you noticed any other irregular self-harming behavior?

Hold on tight. Let's go!

If his self-harming behavior is serious, we can't prolong this any longer.

I didn't notice anything.

I'll try to persuade Jae-yeol to get some examinations.

She's lying.

She's too sympathetic.

We can't allow Hae-soo to treat him

and she can't be there when Jae-yeol gets treatment.

It's for both of their sakes.

Dong-min, what if I tell Jae-yeol that Kang-woo's not real and--

It could be more lethal if you approach him like that.

You should go and stay with Jae-yeol.

The ultimate result for most self-harming cases

is suicide.

Tae-yong asked you that favor?

Yes. He said he needs it, so I'll just find it for him.

Goodness, that brat.

Where exactly did you put Kang-woo's writings?

I put them...

That's when you came to my room.

Listen. I have something to tell you.

Come in.

Why did you write this?

Is this why you followed me around all these years?

There's no shred of imagination. You just wrote this based on my articles.

The only difference is that you switched the culprit from my brother to me.

Don't ever call me again.

Is this how you repay the kindness I showed you?

After that, you left my room.

Then I picked up the writings.

I remember now! I put it in the top right drawer of my desk.

Hae-soo, is it there?

No, it's not.

Maybe you forgot where you put it.

That's not possible.

I'm sleepy, Jae-yeol.

Okay, go to sleep, Hae-soo.

Hae-soo, you need to step aside from this case.

If guilt is the underlying problem,

then the happier he is with you, the riskier it is for him.

I'm aware of that. I was trained by you.

-What you need to do is-- -Are you the only doctor?

In a purely phenomenological perspective,

I never thought he lacked any functioning skill.

SOCIAL, PROFESSIONAL, ACADEMIC SKILLS

Why are you excluding the fact that it could be a minor neurological issue?

Why are you determined that it's schizophrenia?

MENTAL DISORDER

Schizophrenic?

Go home.

Schizophrenia is a psychiatric illness, right?

When I attended my collective treatment back then...

I'm sorry.

Sometimes I say things without really thinking about it.

Do you hate me?

I don't hate you. Go home.

Okay.

Hey.

Don't tell your mom yet.

You didn't win yet. Let's not disappoint her.

Dong-min, let's talk.

Just like diabetes and high blood pressure,

schizophrenia can be controlled with medication.

With proper medication, over 70 percent of patients can live a normal life.

That's what you said to countless other patients. Remember?

I'm sleeping out tonight.

MENTAL ILLNESSES OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVE DISORDER

Tae-yong, I'm heading over to Jae-yeol's. You can go home.

What are you doing here?

I suddenly didn't like my place and wanted to see you.

What?

Why are you so surprised? It's not like I'm in love with Hae-soo.

By the way, So-nyu has been clinging on to me lately. It's kind of annoying.

Stop bragging.

What are you doing?

This is my way of thanking you for praising me.

By the way, this is the first time I've ever hugged another man.

Join me for a drink.

Are you really sleeping here?

Kicking me out is no use because I'll just come back.

If you're going to stay here, I don't want to hear you breathing.

If guilt is the underlying problem,

then the happier he is with you, the riskier it is for him.

My stomach is bleeding.

Sorry for sleeping in when I'm in charge of the cooking today.

Just wait a little. Eat some fried eggs before you go.

We also have boiled eggs that Soo-kwang made yesterday.

Hey, Hae-soo! Take some with you for breakfast!

Hae-soo!

That little brat. He said these were hard boiled.

The patient's name is Sang-min Oh. He's 33 years old and schizophrenic.

He stopped showing active symptoms three days ago

and we're going to reduce his treatment today.

Give him 50 ml of Haloperidol, 300 ml of Chlorpromazine and Lispromazine.

ANTIPSYCHOTIC DRUG

Don't change his dosage until the end of this week.

The patient seems to have a hard time so Doctor Ji told me...

He's had three relapses in the past five years.

Is his emotional mood more important than his physical safety?

-Yes, ma'am. -Yes, ma'am.

Please, Doctor Ji.

How many times do I have to tell you? I said no already.

Please prescribe some medication. My child is really inattentive!

The test shows that your child is perfectly normal.

But why are you yelling at me?

I told you that your child is normal. How does that make you angry?

Are you talking down to me?

Who told you that taking ADHD medication can improve your child's focus and grades?

My next door neighbor told me.

ADHD medication is helpful for someone with ADHD symptoms.

Do you know how many side-effects it has if a normal person takes it?

You don't even know what you're talking about.

If you won't prescribe it, I'll just go to another hospital.

What the...

Excuse me, which hospital prescribes medication for healthy children?

I'll report it.

Give me a break.

All children grow up with distractions. Just be patient and wait.

Okay?

I'll see you there then.

Okay, bye.

Leave your patients to Doctor Kim.

I already did that.

Let's go out and get some tea--

I'm going to meet Jae-yeol's mother.

Go with Dong-min.

You're not thinking rationally.

FEELINGS OF PITY FOR SOMEONE ELSE'S MISFORTUNE

Based on what?

Based on the fact that you didn't ask me or Dong-min for help.

When you turn to us for help, then I'll know that you're normal.

Dong-min, where are you?

Let's eat.

Stop ignoring me.

Hey!

What the heck are you doing?

You never met anyone like me, right?

You didn't even sleep for one hour.

I checked the time when you went to the bathroom.

Do you want to die?

Come and eat.

Do you want me to teach you a trick on how to handle someone like me?

What else besides beating you up?

Just give in.

Don't tell me you're looking at me like I'm a stray dog,

instead of looking at me as Hae-soo's house dog.

Here.

What is the matter with you?

You need a serious beating!

Stop laughing.

Don't tell Hae-soo.

It's just stress-induced gastritis.

So-nyu just sent me a text.

Hae-soo, Jae-yeol slept less than an hour last night,

and he can't eat because he's throwing up.

SOO-KWANG

Forty-six.

Forty-eight.

Forty-three.

Fifty.

I win.

Can you please get lost now?

It's a sickness when you can't eat or sleep.

I lost to you on purpose.

You should seek help from Hae-soo.

I can take care of myself.

Were you always like this?

Were you always self-reliant?

Yes.

What's this? I'm touched.

I made it for Hae-soo when I heard you two slept together.

Since you two are a couple now.

Let me make this clear to you.

We're two people that like each other's company

but that doesn't mean we'll always be together.

What are you doing?

This is what ignorant people think of my mental condition.

Or you could say it's Hye-jin's schizophrenic mind.

It's a complex network of broken pieces of the brain.

People think we can't even recognize our own family.

Or the people we love.

They think we have no sense of guilt even when we harm others.

But we're not like that at all.

We're normal like most people. We just have a small defect in us.

Don't you agree?

Yes.

My condition is as whole as this.

I'm only broken for a few seconds or a few minutes in a year.

For Hye-jin's schizophrenia case, she's only broken about this much.

It's either an abnormality or a deep emotional scar.

Their world breaks apart like this.

Like reality and imagination?

Something like that.

Can the pieces ever become whole again like this?

As long as the patient has the willpower

and seeks the doctor's help.

That's interesting.

I'll get going.

Don't come back again.

I probably will.

KANG-WOO HAN

HOPE NEVER GAVE YOU UP, YOU ARE THE ONE WHO GAVE IT UP

Why are you making flowers?

I'm going to give it to my mom.

She'll be sad once Jae-yeol is gone.

Giving her flowers is the least I can do for her.

Stay still Jae-bum. If you go to jail again, they won't let you out.

I'll compensate for everything. Please don't call the police.

Useless thoughts...

The mother was suffering from dissociation when she started the fire.

Looking at the case, she can't remember what happened back then.

But Jae-yeol knew the truth.

He pinned his brother as the culprit in order to protect his mom.

I think his condition is the result of his inability to handle his guilt.

This house is lovely.

Jae-yeol never invited me over to his house before.

Thanks to you, I finally get to see his place.

I even bought new clothes because Jae-bum's getting released soon.

I'm so happy.

But what did you want to see me about?

Well, Mrs. Jang...

Mrs. Jang, you're here.

Hello, Doctor.

Tae-yong?

Tae-yong, what's wrong?

-Hae-soo... -What's wrong with you?

Give us a minute.

Mrs. Jang.

This is hard for me to say,

but Jae-yeol is very ill.

What?

You want to be a doctor?

Yes.

If Hae-soo can cure Jae-yeol, I'm going to become a psychiatrist like her.

You're proud of me for having these thoughts, right?

You think just anyone can become a doctor?

Go back to work.

You're no different from everyone else.

You think I'm a delinquent with no dreams of my own?

Be quiet.

Hey!

Stop being so immature!

Can't you see how worried I am for Hae-soo and Jae-yeol?

Can't you tell

that I'm struggling right now?

I know that. That's why I'm trying to make you feel better by talking to you.

Would you rather have me act all sad and depressed like you and Hae-soo?

Is that what you want?

Finally, she's maturing.

So-nyu Oh.

I love you.

Welcome.

I'll have a frappé, please.

One order of frappé.

So it is confirmed,

you're allowing us to proceed with Jae-yeol's hospitalization.

I didn't tell her the details. I just told her that it was stress-related.

She's only aware of his symptoms.

Ma'am.

Jae-yeol's illness isn't incurable.

It can be cured.

Yes.

Doctor Jo...

He...

He explained it to me.

You must've been quite shocked by it.

If it's just an illness, he can be treated then.

He can be treated.

I'll get going.

No need to see me out.

Mom, are you okay?

There's nothing I can do about it even if I'm not okay.

I have to be strong.

After my husband died, I had to witness one of my son spend 14 years in jail.

I had to live with that.

According to Doctor Jo, the illness can be cured.

He said Jae-yeol will be cured after some treatment and medication.

He said...

You lit up two candles.

Is one for Jae-yeol?

I'm going to see Jae-yeol.

Talk to me.

What will you say to him when you see him?

How are you going to tell him?

I don't know...

What should I do...

I feel like an idiot.

I'm a doctor, how could I have believed a 16-year-old boy

would be fine after experiencing such a traumatic event?

I wanted to believe that he would be able to cope with it.

What else?

I know I love him a lot...

but I was never truly empathetic

to Jae-yeol's deep emotional scars.

When Jae-yeol opened up to me about his painful past and talked about his brother,

I don't think I sympathized with him even once.

All I said to him was that it must've been tough.

But deep inside of me,

I could understand what he went through because I'm a doctor.

What do you think? I guess I'm too arrogant.

Even when I witnessed Jae-yeol having nightmares when he slept with me,

I told him that he'll get over it since he's strong and free-spirited.

But since it wasn't my own personal issue, I think a part of me wanted to ignore it.

Don't blame yourself.

That wasn't feigning ignorance, but rather you put your faith in him.

I'm completely useless as a doctor and his girlfriend.

All my life, I've been a selfish girl.

Is it possible to have him hospitalized without forcing him?

I'll be back.

Stay strong, Hae-soo.

How's Jae-yeol's functioning levels?

You're lonely?

I'm sorry that you're lonely but I need to get back to writing.

Stop writing and come home to me and spend the night here.

I can't.

Hi.

I came because I really missed you.

Am I not allowed since it's not Friday?

Should I leave?

I really can't.

It's my mom.

Keep talking to her.

Mom, is something bothering you?

You've made plenty of money. So take it easy with your writing.

Don't be burdened to write because of me.

I'll end up dying without spending all of the money you gave me.

You can stop writing because of me and just come home to me.

Mom, is something wrong?

You never talked like this before.

Kang-woo keeps coughing and has a tremor in his hand.

What illness is that?

I'm fine. My throat is just a little dry.

Mom, Hae-soo just got here.

Okay.

Mom, eat some of this. You didn't even eat dinner.

Go check on Jae-yeol.

I'll go after you eat this.

You need to be strong right now.

Jae-bum will be here on Saturday.

Please eat this.

Then I can stop worrying about you, and go check on Jae-yeol!

Hae-soo's first visit

Hae-soo's second visit

Hae-soo's third visit

Hae-soo's fourth visit

I still love you, Hae-soo

I'm half convinced that I should say yes.

I want pictures of your hands and feet.

Sure. In exchange, you have to shave.

I don't like to shave when I'm writing.

I guess you don't want pictures of my hands and feet.

He reminds me of myself when I see him.

I get the feeling that I should protect him.

I think Kang-woo is the manifestation of Jae-yeol when he was younger.

The bigger problem is that he could hurt himself by trying to protect Kang-woo.

He's not aware that his hallucination comes from

his guilt that he feels towards his brother.

Do you know Henry Louis Gehrig, the number four batter for the Yankees?

Yes, I do.

He was the first person who got Lou Gehrig's disease.

How do you know him?

Do you like baseball?

I learned about him when I was in medical school.

What about you?

I think I read about him in a book.

I'm not sure.

I'd like to have Hae-soo's hands on my forehead at all times.

I hope to walk alongside with Hae-soo's feet.

You're so still like a good boy.

Because I belong to you now.

You're the sweetest boyfriend.

But...

if you got sick and had to be hospitalized,

what will worry you the most?

Why are you asking me that?

Because everyone gets sick at one point of their lives.

I'd be worried about not writing.

Even if you stopped writing,

I'd still like you.

When are you going to tell me that you love me?

I wouldn't be me if I stopped writing.

What about Kang-woo?

He hasn't called me.

He's not picking up either.

You're worried about him, aren't you?

I feel like he's going to die.

He failed the writing contest and he's physically sick as well.

I thought he told you that he was fine?

He lied to me.

I think he has Lou Gehrig's disease.

Kang-woo didn't have a good look on his face

when he called me in front of the hospital.

Did you go to the hospital with him?

No.

I was with you at the time.

Then how do you know that Kang-woo didn't have a good look on his face?

You're describing it as if you were there.

I wasn't with Kang-woo.

Then how do I know?

You look so much better after you shave.

You look tired. You should take a bath.

You're going back to work soon. Can't I look at you a little longer?

FROM TAE-YONG

What is it?

Tae-yong says he's outside my house.

He's my friend but sometimes I don't like him.

I'll see you tomorrow since it's Friday.

You can't just leave like that.

You smell like shaving foam. Go wash up.

I love you.

I know it might pressure you but I love you like crazy.

HE DOESN'T REMEMBER TELLING ANYONE THE REASON HE CAME HERE.

SAVE

Tae-yong, where are you? We need to meet.

The door is closed.

So you're still alive.

That's a relief. I was worried.

Kang-woo, don't ever think that you're by yourself.

I'm always by your side.

You know that, right?

From the beginning to now, he's been rewriting his novels from the past.

There's no traces of him writing anything new.

He did the same thing with his last novel.

Come to think of it, Jae-yeol's been acting strange

ever since Jae-bum stabbed him with a fork.

It usually takes him eight months to write a novel

but his last one took him two years.

Sometimes he even plagiarizes the words from his previous writings.

But I don't think he's aware of that.

Don't leave Jae-yeol's side, okay?

Hae-soo.

Hae-soo...

There's nothing more to verify from a phenomenological point of view.

He's sleep deprived and has an eating disorder.

Not being able to write as a writer is part of his dysfunction.

SOCIAL, PROFESSIONAL, ACADEMIC SKILLS

On top of that,

it's absurd that it took me this long to notice.

That there were several occasions where he brought danger to himself.

He put himself in dangerous situations while trying to hide his wounds.

He's probably plotting his own suicide.

Suicide?

Writing is everything to Kang-woo

but he failed the writing contest and has Lou Gehrig's disease.

He believes that Kang-woo's going to do something drastic.

The outcome is so obvious.

How did you realize that Jae-yeol will eventually leave you

and succumb to his mental illness?

I'm sure it was tough to accept that.

Leaving someone he loves to commit suicide is unreasonable.

It's a clear sign of an illness.

Jae-yeol is ill.

I've come down to that conclusion as a doctor.

Given Jae-yeol's current condition, he's not even aware that he's ill.

We have no choice but to force his hospitalization without consent.

I know.

Let's get him admitted first.

We need to give him medication to lessen his active symptoms.

AUDITORY HALLUCINATION, DELUSION

I'll call you when I can.

I'll send the ambulance along with a nurse.

We'll get Doctor Kim ready for it as well.

Doctor Kim, where are you?

I need to see you.

Tae-yong, it's me.

I told the radio producer.

I told her that Mr. Jang is ill and won't be able to do the show anymore.

We use tempered glass windows instead of metal bars.

Other hospitals should do the same as well.

That's as much as it opens. It's for safety reasons.

If he were to break the window and jump,

he won't be badly hurt since we're on the second floor.

No one will be able to break the glass without any tools.

But what about the bathroom?

It's a communal bathroom because it needs to be monitored for safety.

My son can only sleep inside the bathroom.

We'll give him some sedatives, so that he can sleep in the bed.

How long will he be hospitalized?

He won't be in here for months or years, right?

It's always like that in books or on TV.

That could be the case with some nursing homes in the mountains

since patients with frequent relapses often go to those facilities.

But for Jae-yeol's case,

I'm thinking he'll have to stay in here only for about a month or two.

Two months doesn't sound that bad.

It's an honor to work with such highly respected doctors and colleagues.

The treatment process for Jae-yeol Jang

will be more difficult than anything we've encountered.

The reason is because...

When did you get here?

I just took a shower.

Stop!

Why?

Stay where you are.

Why?

You don't want me next to you?

I just want to look at you.

Goodness, you're so handsome that it gives me the chills.

How long do I have to stand like this?

I want to hug you.

Hae-soo, it's me.

The ambulance is ready and waiting.

When do you want us to come?

I'll call you back.

I love you.

Let's stay like this for a while.

Sure.

You're falling asleep in the bedroom.

You might be my cure.

Is it okay to go right now?

I love you very much.

Jae-yeol isn't mental. He's sick.

Do you understand why we had to hospitalize you?

I'm not myself in here. This isn't like me.

Let me out.

I've been really happy because of you.

No!

Subtitle translation by Ayesya Johan