Original subtitles

Did you see his cute little butt? Okay, you guys, let's talk about that fox that

just walked in. We already were.

I'm going to go over there, okay, and change the shaker. Cool out. That's

Stacy's action. Oh, he's too old. She's not even in high school yet.

Smoking's upstairs to your left.

Smoking's upstairs to your left.

Smoking's upstairs.

Hey, Rat, Dolly Parton giving you a percentage of the profit?

What can I do for you, gentlemen?

You're the guy with the Van Halen tickets?

I could be. How much do you want for something in the first ten rows?

Twenty bucks a piece.

Those tickets are only $12 .50.

I don't buy it.

Come on, Arnold. All the other scalpers have sold out.

Scalper? Did you call me a scalper?

Listen, gentlemen, I perform a service here, and the service costs money.

Now, do you want the tickets or don't you?

Okay. We'll take them.

Let's see, 25?

20.

All right.

Thanks.

That's 16 bucks, right?

What's the matter? You look depressed.

I hate working in the theater. All the accents on the other side of the mall.

How's it going?

You want to take a table?

Yes. Go for it. He's cute.

I'll take his order.

You look him in the eye.

If he says anything remotely funny, just laugh like you never heard anything so

funny. And smile.

Go for it.

So, you working hard or hard?

19. How old are you?

26.

I think we could still be friends.

So, what can I get you?

How about a meatball sandwich?

A medium Coke?

shall serve no fries for their time.

This one's on you, dude.

Who's got the Bucco Dolores today?

Uno Dinero.

What have you got, Mr. Buckman?

I got a cigarette.

I got Uno Nicola.

Hey!

You guys had shirts on when you came in here.

There's something hot.

Come on, Spicoli, just put the shirts back on.

You see that sign?

No shirt, no shoes, no dye.

Right.

Learn it.

Know it.

Live it.

Well, he's the full hot boy.

Linda, did I show you this?

He gave me his card.

Ron Johnson, audio consultant.

Maybe we should, like, get a frame for this and put it up on the wall. Come on,

Linda. You're the one who told me I was going to get a boyfriend at the mall.

Do you think he'll call this week?

Stace, why don't you just call him? I can't. Yes, you can.

Guys love that sort of thing.

Really? Yes.

Stacey, what are you waiting for? You're 15 years old.

I did it when I was 13.

It's no huge thing. It's just sex.

He was hot, wasn't he?

If I didn't have a fiancé in Chicago, I'd go for it.

Well, she was an American girl.

She couldn't tell, thinking that there was a little more.

Hello! The cruising vessel, Bradley!

Thank you, David.

Six more payments, gentlemen, and this beautiful blue four -door luxury sedan

all mine.

I'll give you four tickets in the fifth row for the low, low price of $140.

Hey, see that car?

Some alumni gave Jefferson that car for...

when he was a sophomore. Helped him pick it up.

We go way back, you know.

Hey, Charles, how you doing, buddy?

Car looks great. I mean, really terrific. You're really keeping it up

wonderfully.

Don't fuck with it.

Can I talk to you, man? Sure, man.

I really hate Bronco Burger, man.

Ever since they started with the chicken nuggets, everything went downhill.

You have to fry all the greasy food and everything. You have to polish things.

The manager's an asshole. I was just wondering... Arnold, you want to work at

All -American Burger?

Yeah, well... I can probably get you in there. Let me talk to Dennis Taylor.

All right.

Did you hear the bell ring?

We're here.

Hello.

My name is Mr. Ant.

I have but one question. for you.

Can you attend my class?

It is for your own good, and if you can't make it, I can make you.

We have a 20 -question quiz every Friday.

Your grade is the average of all your quizzes.

Plot the midterm and final, which counts for one -third. Got it?

Also... There will be no eating.

E -A -T -I...

NG.

No eating in this class.

You get used to doing your own business on your own time. That's one demand I

make.

Just like you wouldn't want me to come to your house some evening and discuss U

.S. history on your time. Understand?

Yes, sir.

This guy's been stoned since the third grade.

Yeah? Yeah, I'm registered in this class.

What class?

This is U .S. history. See the globe right there.

Really? Hey.

May I come in? Oh, please.

I get so lonely when I hear that third attendance bell ring and all my kids are

not here.

Sorry I'm late. It's just like this new schedule is totally confusing.

I know that, dude.

Mr.

Bicoli. That's the name they gave me.

You're ripping my card. Yeah.

Hey, bud, what's your problem?

No problem at all.

I think you know where the front office is.

You dick!

I have taken the time to print out the complete schedule of class quizzes and

the chapters they cover.

Please pass them to the desk behind you.

You hear about the surfer guy who pulled a knife in Mr. Hand's morning?

Oh, no.

He just called him a dick.

Dick? Oh, God, people exaggerate so much here.

Linda, that girl looks just like Pat Benatar.

I know.

Wait, there are three girls here at Ridgemont who have cultivated the Pat

Benatar look.

Janelle Simbler, Mary Ann Zlotnick, and the red type.

Do you think guys find that more attractive?

Oh, Stacy, please, give me a break. You are so much prettier than them.

Yeah, I know.

But you think they'd be better in bed?

What do you mean, better in bed?

You do it or you don't?

No.

They're like variables that I might not be good at. Like what variable?

Like, you know, giving blowjobs.

What's the big deal?

I never did it.

You've never given a blowjob?

Never? It stays.

There's nothing to it. It's so easy.

Relax your throat muscles.

Don't bite.

Just bite it in.

Sure. Okay.

When a guy has an orgasm, how much comes out?

A quarter, so.

No, I'm just kidding.

It's a practice.

I'm not going to a war.

I'll get my mom to write a note.

Nobody's getting me into a room with a bunch of dead guys.

You have to go.

part of the final. I hear it's really disgusting.

Do you know what they do?

Have you heard? What?

Well, the bodies are dissected. Mr. Vargas pulls out parts of the dead body

holds them up, okay?

You mean he reaches in and pulls this stuff out?

Well, like stomach and tumors or something?

Yeah, stomach, tumors, entrails.

Good day, everyone.

My name is Mr. Vargas.

in this class i'm in love see the mustache coming in red

almost precedent i'm in love

you are a wuss part wimp and part pussy what do you mean what this girl is my

exact type all right where'd you see my biology class do you have a number

no

It's too soon. It's never too soon, Raz.

I mean, a girl decides how far she's going to let you go in the first five

minutes. Well, what am I supposed to do? Go up to this strange girl in my

biology class and say, hello, I'd like you to take your clothes off and jump on

me? I would.

I mean, I can see it all now. She's going to be just like last summer.

You fell in love with that girl at the photo mat. You bought $40 worth of

fucking film, and you never even talked to her.

You don't even own a camera.

Will you tell me, Mike, what should I do?

This is what you do.

Start from the minute you walk into biology class.

I mean, don't just walk in.

And you don't talk to them.

Use your face.

Use your body.

Use everything.

That's what I do.

I mean, I just send out this vibe, and I have personally found that women do

respond.

I mean, something happens.

Well, naturally something happens. I mean, you put the vibe out to 30 million

chicks, something is going to happen.

That's the idea, Raz.

That's the attitude.

The attitude?

Yeah, the attitude dictates that you don't care whether she comes, stays,

or prays. I mean, whatever happens, your toes are still tapping.

Now, when you got that, then you have the attitude.

You look beautiful.

Thank you.

Where do you feel like going?

I don't know.

How about the point?

Okay.

All right.

The point it is.

Thanks a lot.

It's warm.

Yeah, it is. It's really warm.

I wonder how long it will last.

So... Am I gonna get to first base?

Yeah, yeah, I am. I'm really 19.

I take out the garbage.

I asked you to put this in the trunk of the cruising vessel and get rid of him

for me.

Hey, who the hell is Ron Johnson?

Thank you very much.

Elisa's great.

Yeah. I don't want to tell anyone to break up with a girl like that.

Well, me and Lisa have been going together for two years.

I love her and all.

I mean, she's great in bed.

Separation stuff. You got your sliced tomatoes, shredded lettuce, secret

What's the secret sauce?

Thousand Island dressing.

What's the secret sauce of Bronco Burger?

Ketchup and mayonnaise.

Got you. Order for you, Bradley.

Were those flowers really for me?

Of course.

How much did they cost?

Don't worry about it.

You want to go to the point tonight?

What's there to do at the point?

You know what's there to do at the point.

We've been going out together for two years.

I don't want to have to use sex as a tool, Brad.

Tool? Tool for what?

We've been going together for two years.

I don't want to talk about it here.

I want to talk about it. Brad?

Lisa?

Brad!

You've got to flip them over the bird.

C.

D.

A piece of legislation was introduced into Congress by Senator John Platt. It

was passed in 1906.

This amendment to our Constitution has a profound impact upon all of our...

Where is Jeff Spicoli? I saw him earlier today near the first floor bathrooms.

Is he still on campus? Anyone?

Yes, Desmond?

I saw him by the food machines.

How long ago?

Right before class.

What is this fascination with truancy?

What is it that gets inside your heads?

There are some teachers in this school who look the other way at truancy.

It's a little game that you both play. They pretend they don't see you. You

pretend you don't ditch.

Now, who pays the price later?

You.

Wait a minute. There's no birthday party for you here.

Oh, I'm sorry.

What's the reason for your truancy?

Just couldn't make it on time.

You mean you couldn't or you wouldn't?

It was like a full crowd seeing the food lines.

Food will be eaten on your time.

Why are you continuously late for this class, Mr. Spicoli?

Why do you shamelessly waste my time like this?

No.

That's nice.

Mr. Hand, will I pass this class?

Gee, Mr. Spicoli, I don't know.

That's nice. I really like that. You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to

leave your words on this board for all my classes to enjoy, giving you full

credit, of course, Mr. Spicoli.

All right.

I'm not working here. No one's ever going to want to take me out.

Guess Ron hasn't called yet, huh?

Not since November.

Stacy, what does it matter?

He's hysterical.

to working at 7 -Eleven, you know.

Whoa, bud!

What?

All right, baby.

All right, you got quarters?

Well, when are those Earth, Wind, and Fire tickets coming in?

Earth, Wind, and Fire?

Geez, uh, I haven't heard anything, but the minute I do, I'll let you know. So,

you know, I'm planning on taking my little brother with me.

Is that your little brother?

Sure. He's a good -looking kid. Uh, great.

Charles Jefferson for Earth, Wind & Fire and Little Brother.

And I'll let you know when they come around, okay?

Wow, does he really live here? I thought he just flew in for games.

Shit, he knows where to come when he wants some tickets.

All right, now go on. Get out of here. You're messing up my business.

Come on, brat.

Let's go get you a woman.

You ready for your moment of truth? You know, Damone, I noticed I was starting

to get a pimple this morning. The shyness routine is really starting to

aggravate me. I mean, now, who is she anyways, right? She's a waitress in a

pizza parlor.

Now, look at her.

Look at you, member of the honor roll, assistant to the assistant manager of

movie theater.

I'm telling you, Rat, if this girl can't smell your qualifications...

Then who needs her, right?

Right. All right. All right. How do you feel? I feel good. Do you?

All right. Now stop fucking around and go get her.

Hey, Rat.

You got to ace that jacket. Yeah? Yeah.

All right. That's cool. You look good.

All right?

Go get her, buddy.

One ten, and you get five cents back.

Thanks.

Yeah. What can I do for you?

Yeah, I had a couple of questions. I was curious.

What do you do with the jackets that people leave here?

We keep them.

You keep them? In case you come back.

You can look through it if you want.

No, that's cool.

It would take too long to look through all that stuff. I'll just... I'll pick

a new one.

What was your other question?

Oh, my other question is...

Can I have your phone number so I can ask you out sometime?

Do you have a pen? This one's out of ink.

Yeah.

Stacy.

Nice to meet you, Stacy.

My name is Mark Ratner.

I've got to go.

Lisa, I have something to tell you.

Look, I'm a senior now.

I'm a single, successful guy.

And I've got to be fair to myself, Lisa.

I think I need my freedom.

Oh, don't do that.

Please, please don't do that.

Brad, can you cover me a register, too?

Okay. May I help you?

Uh, yes. This is not the best breakfast I ever ate, and I'd like my money back.

Uh, okay. I believe you have to fill out a form for that.

Uh, no. I'd like my money back now. I'm sorry. It doesn't work that way. You

see, I have to fill out a form, and, well, you ate most of it already, so...

see that sign?

It says 100 % guaranteed.

You know what the meaning of guarantee is?

Did they teach you that here?

Sir, if you just wait a minute.

Look, just put your little hand back in the cash register and give me my $2 .75

back, please.

Brad. Sir, if you just give me a minute, I'll find the forms. I'll take care of

everything. I don't have a minute. You've made me late enough.

I am so tired of dealing with incompetence. It says 100 % guaranteed,

Mister, if you don't shut up, I'm going to kick 100 % of your ass.

Is there a problem here? Can I help you, sir?

You bet you have a problem. Your employee here used profanity and

with violence. I'm surprised.

I ain't here all the time and usually have good service until today.

All I wanted was my money back on this breakfast. It was a little undercooked.

And he threatens me with violence.

Now, I'm going to call your supervisor.

I can take care of it.

Mr. Hamilton?

Did you threaten this customer or use profanity in any way?

Uh... Why, he insulted me first. He called me a moron, Dennis.

Answer me. Did you threaten this customer or use profanity in any way?

Yes. You're fired.

I'm very sorry, sir.

I'll refund your money right now.

Hope you won't hold this against us.

Now that you've got me, darling.

Perhaps another break?

Linus Surfer showed up today to battle with what's turned out to be the biggest

wave in this coast since 1946.

Hello, everybody. I'm Stu Nahan. I'd like you to meet this young man. His

Jeff Spicoli. And, Jeff, congratulations to you. Things look kind of rough out

there today.

Well, I'll tell you, Stu, I did battle with some humongous waves.

But, you know, just like I told the guy on ABC, danger is my business. You know,

a lot of people expected maybe Mark Cutback Davis or...

Bob Jungle Death Gerard would take the honors this year. Oh, those guys are

fast. That's fantastic. Let me ask you a question. When you get out there, do

you ever fear for your life? Well, still, I'll tell you, surfing's not a

It's a way of life, no hobby. It's a way of looking at that wave and saying,

hey, bud, let's party.

Where'd you get this jacket?

I got this in the network. Let me ask you a question. What's next for Jeff

Spicoli? Oh, headed over to the Australian and the Hawaiian

Then me and Mick are going to wing on over London and jam with the Stones.

You guys are invited too.

Get up here and do something that you know people will make fun of.

Man, I'm never going to talk to those guys again.

I'm the one who got Arnold and Dave their jobs there in the first place.

If you'd apologize to Dennis, I'm sure he'd take you back.

Fuck Dennis Taylor.

I'm not going to apologize for that win.

I'm just glad we're still together.

Because a lot's happening and I really need you this year.

Look, Brad, I've been trying to think of a way to tell you this.

We're almost out of school.

It's our last year.

And I think we owe it to ourselves to be free, to go out with other people.

I still want to be friends.

Look, what do I say to her once we get in the car?

No problem, Red.

What you need is my special five -point plan. Come on, Damone, I need real help

here. What do you mean? Hey, men have died trying to obtain this valuable

information, you know.

But I'll give it to you for free. Okay, okay, what's your five -point plan?

All right.

Now, pay attention.

First of all, Rad, you never let on how much you like a girl.

Oh, Dabby.

You always call the shots.

Kiss me.

You won't regret it.

Now, three.

Act like wherever you are, that's the place to be.

Isn't this great?

Four.

When ordering food, you find out what she wants and order for the both of you.

It's a classy move.

A lady will have the linguine and white clam sauce and a Coke with no ice.

And five.

Now, this is most important, Rat.

It comes down to making out.

Whenever possible, put on side one of Led Zeppelin 4.

This is a nice car.

Yeah, it's my sister's. Yeah?

Do you have Mrs. George English?

Yeah, yeah, she's pretty good.

Yeah, she is pretty good.

Have you decided?

Um, yeah, I'll have the, uh, knock word.

Excellent.

You work at Cinema 4, right? That must be great.

You get to see all those free movies.

You get free popcorn.

Are you okay?

Yeah, I'm fine.

Would you mind if I excuse myself for a moment?

Oh, no, go ahead.

Are you ready to order here?

She will have the knock worst.

Hmm? And you?

I'll have the same.

Anything to drink?

Coke.

Two Coke.

Okay.

I'll be right back.

Okay.

Hello?

Mike, it's Mark.

Hey, what happened to your date?

It's happening right now.

Everything's fine, except... I left my wallet at home.

Did you go home and get it? No, I can't. I'm here.

The food's coming and everything. Look.

Would you do me a favor? Just borrow your mom's car, drive...

To my house, get my wallet, and bring it back here.

Hello?

Mike? Mike?

I'm really kind of busy, Rat.

Look, just do me this one favor. I swear I won't ask you for anything again in

this lifetime or any other, but just please do this for me. All right, but

owe me for this one.

Okay, thanks.

Thanks a lot. Thanks.

You sure there's nothing else I can bring you?

Do you want another Coke?

Um, okay.

Two more Cokes?

Two more Cokes.

Hey, Mark.

Mike. Is that you? Yeah, hi.

You come here? Yeah, I come for the strudel. It's great.

Hey, listen, I found your wallet the other day. Want it back?

Oh, wow.

Yeah, I was looking for this.

Oh, Mike, you don't know Stacy Hamilton.

Stacy, this is Mike DeMalt.

Hi.

Hi. Nice to meet you.

See you later.

Right. Got to be going.

See you later.

You want to go?

time tonight.

Oh, me too.

I'm real sorry if someone broke in and stole your tape deck.

I never would have thought it would have happened at such a fancy place.

I know.

You want to come in for a sec?

Okay, sure.

Where's your brother?

He's out tonight with some friends.

Can I get you something to drink? No, no, that's okay.

Oh. Well, do you mind if I change?

No.

Okay. Could you get this for me? It always sticks.

Thanks.

We're your parents.

My parents are out of town for the weekend.

Brad and I are watching the house.

This is a really nice picture of you.

Thanks. You can come in my room if you want.

So, what do you want to do?

I don't know.

You want to look at a photo album?

I keep a lot of pictures, you know, from when I grew up and stuff.

Sure,

yeah. Yeah?

Great.

Photographs.

This is one that Brad took.

It's like double image type thing, you know, it's like a mirror, but it

This is me being stupid.

This is my dog, Gypsy, and my cat, Tulio.

And they're dead now.

Remember him, Mr. Deegan?

You had Deegan? He always wore the same suit. It was that 500 of them. Oh, and

he was terrible.

No, I think it was one.

You know, I just thought of something.

My sister is crazy when it comes to her car. It's got to be back by 11. You want

to call her?

No. Look, I... She gets crazy. I mean, that's... Her car is her baby. I better

be going.

I'll call you. Well, I'll see you in class.

Okay?

Mark Ratner doesn't like me. Mark Ratner doesn't like you? You're crazy.

No, he shows absolutely no interest in me.

Well, Stace, Mark Ratner is definitely somebody that you would have to make the

first move with.

Linda, I did. I made the first move. I made the second move.

I made a complete jerk out of myself is what I did.

Stace, what do you care about Mark Ratner for? I mean, he's a 16 -year -old

usher in the movie theater.

You have dated older guys.

You work at the best food stand in the mall.

And you are a close, personal friend of mine.

Yeah. But I wasn't really beginning to like him.

Yeah, well, if that's true, you better find somebody else fast.

Hi, Peter.

Seen the new playboy?

Good.

Go get it. Let's get it. All right.

I like that.

People on the news should not drive.

I've got this strange fascination for this

chick. Hey, hey, this is my brother's car.

You said he was out of town.

And he is.

Don't hustle it.

And make a right, right here. Here, here.

My

brother's

going to kill us.

He's going to kill us.

He's going to kill you and he's going to kill me. He's going to kill us.

Hey, man, just be glad I had fast reflexes.

My brother's going to shit.

Make up your mind, dude. Is he going to shit or is he going to kill us?

First he's going to shit. Then he's going to kill us.

Relax.

All right?

My old man is a television repairman.

He's got this ultimate set of tools.

I can fix it.

You can't fix this, Carson McCauley.

I can fix it.

Am I paying you $50? No, no, no.

That means if you win, I give you $25. If I win, you give me $5.

Can't lose.

All right,

I'll put you down for $5.

Don't forget about the 14 -point spread.

14 -point spread.

I don't believe those guys. I can't believe he did this to Jefferson's car.

I was told that, but I can't believe it.

is going to really make Lincoln pay for this.

That guy's going to totally destroy them.

Annihilate. You know what I mean?

won't be what they say about you.

You might wonder about your future friend.

heard it the same way. Forget it. Get a whaler.

Oh, what a clam wish.

You ever hear the word blemish? You want me to eat something deep fried? Let's

get out of here.

Thank you.

Come again and have a nice day.

I sent a letter to Doug today.

Can't wait till he gets out here. What's Doug doing in Chicago?

He works for the airline.

You'll meet him.

Oh, Linda, you have to do this.

What?

Rate your mate.

Oh, yeah? Yeah.

Okay. Let me test Doug. Okay.

The most satisfactory lovemaking occurs, A, when your mate climaxes first, B,

you climax first, C, you and your mate climax together.

Climax together.

This is going to be great, Rat.

It's like the highlight of their day. Look, maybe we ought to call first. I

don't know about dropping in like this. What are you kidding? We're going to

surprise them.

Look, just fix your collar, all right?

Relax. Just be cool.

Attitude. Remember?

Where'd you get that? Out of the hamper? Hey, come on. Let's just clean.

Look, Fred, it's like riding a bike. You fall off, you get right back up.

You mess up a day, do it again.

Do you always climax with Doug?

Yes.

I think so.

He's no high school boy.

Hey.

Came over to help you with your math homework.

Figured you could use it on such a hot day.

One more.

One more let us in.

Okay.

You have to promise me you're going to leave as soon as my mother gets home.

Linda. Great.

Mike and Mark. Hi. Hi. How are you doing? Good.

Well, it looks great. Yeah. Check it out.

He hardly even talks anymore.

Yeah, I know.

He hates wearing a uniform.

Hey, Rhett, show them how you can stand up underwater.

Hi, Brad.

You know how cute I always thought you were.

Any Q -tips? I've got water in my ears. I don't know. Check in the house.

Oh, wait just a minute.

Doesn't anybody fucking knock anymore?

Now, in 1898, Spain owned Cuba outright.

Think about it.

Cuba owned by a disorganized parliament over 4 ,000 miles away.

Cubans were in a constant...

Cubans were in a

constant state of revolt.

In 1904, the United States decided to throw a little weight around and...

Pizza guy.

Again? Mr. Pizza guy, sir.

Order the double cheese and sausage.

Right here, dude.

hallucinating here. Just what in the hell do you think you're doing?

Learning about Cuba. Having some food.

Mr. Spicoli, you're on dangerous ground here. You're causing a major disturbance

on my time.

I've been thinking about this, Mr. Hand.

If I'm here and you're here, doesn't that make it our time?

There certainly is nothing wrong with a little feast on our time.

You're absolutely right, Mr. Spicoli.

It is our time.

Yours, mine, And everyone else is in this room. But it is my class.

Hamilton, Brandt, Kornfeld, up front.

Mr. Spicoli has been kind enough to bring us a snack.

And be my guest.

Help yourselves.

Get a good one.

Why don't you get a ride with somebody?

Sometimes I get a ride with my brother, but he works in the morning, and then he

drives himself to school.

What a guy.

Listen, Mark Ratner really likes you.

Do you like him?

Mark is really nice, but I think I like you.

This is me.

Do you have any iced tea?

Yeah, sure.

Come on in.

The annuals are coming out pretty soon.

You gonna get one?

I don't know.

Oh, come on.

Aren't you curious to see all your pictures right now?

I know what I look like.

Yeah, I know, but it's nice to have pictures of your friends and stuff, you

know? I don't know, maybe, you know?

It's no big deal.

I probably will.

Must be nice having a pool.

You want to go swimming?

Yeah, sure. I don't... I'm going to go change.

Okay?

Take care.

This is great ice.

Something's changed me.

This is nice.

Yeah? Yeah.

These will fit you.

You're really a good kisser.

Yeah?

So are you.

You want to take off your clothes, Mike?

You first.

Both of us at the same time.

I tried to shut my eyes, but I can't.

Yeah, I guess I did.

I gotta go, Stacy.

I really gotta go.

See ya.

20 to 30 minutes.

I thought you said you took 30 to 40 minutes.

Yeah, that's right. I'm sorry. I meant 30 to 40 minutes.

Why? How long did Damone take?

Damone took 15 to 20 minutes.

It's not bad.

It's not bad for a high school boy.

Those boys at IBM ordered a whole stack of those catch -of -the -day boxes. I

told them that you would personally deliver them within the hour.

Aye, sir.

Hamilton, come over here.

What are you doing?

I'm changing. But you took off your Captain Hook uniform.

Well, I thought I'd put my street clothes on for the drive over to IBM.

uniform's kind of uncomfortable.

Hamilton, you're going over there as a representative of Captain Hook Fish and

Chips. Part of our image, part of our appeal is that uniform. You know that.

You really want me to put the stuff back on?

Yes, I do.

Show a little pride.

The magnetism of Robin Zander or the charisma of Rick Nielsen? That's kid

Kid stuff?

How about the tunes?

I want you to want me.

The dream police.

Your mama's all right. Your daddy's all right. But just seem a little bit weird.

Can I talk to you for a sec?

Well, now, Stacy, I'm doing business.

Call me tonight, all right?

I gotta talk to you now.

Okay.

Don't go away.

Look at him.

I hope this is important, you know, because I could be blowing a big deal.

Mike, I just... I just want you to know that I'm pregnant.

How do you know it's fine? I mean, we only did it once.

I haven't been with anybody else. I know it's yours.

Jesus.

I mean, it was your idea. You wanted to do it. You wanted it more than I did.

No.

Take that back.

All right, all right. Take it back.

Look, we gotta do something about it. I mean, uh... We gotta get an abortion.

My brother Art got his girlfriend one once. It's simple. I mean, it's no big

deal.

Yeah.

I got that plan.

Um, it's gonna cost $150 at the free clinic.

Doesn't sound free to me.

I suppose you want me to pay for it.

Half, okay?

And a ride to the clinic?

$75 and a ride.

Listen, I need that $50 you owe me.

Don't have it.

I know time's a type, man, but I really need it. Don't have it right now. Hey,

come on. When you needed the tickets, I got them for you, right?

So close to the stage, you probably scared the band.

I'm not the Bank of America.

Look, I know you're not the Bank of America, man, but I need my $50.

How about Thursday?

Thursday's too late. I need it tonight.

Can't give you what I don't have.

All right, look, just forget about it, all right? All right.

I'll get it from you Thursday, okay?

All right.

Debbie, you ready to leave?

Thank you.

Stacy, I can't let you go unless you have a ride home.

Oh, I told my boyfriend to meet me downstairs.

So when do you go bowling anyway?

Okay, Brad, please don't tell Mom and Dad.

Come on.

Who did it?

You're not going to tell me, are you?

Okay.

It'll just be your secret.

I told you to tell Mike to pay for it. Why didn't you tell him?

Linda, he didn't show up.

That little prick.

I called his house, and his mother told me that he was in the garage helping his

father. Well, Mike DeMone's a no -brain little prick, Stacy.

I'm not going to let him get away with this.

Linda, please don't do anything.

I don't even like the guy.

Stacy, he's not a guy. He's a little prick.

Thank you.

I mean, sometimes girls just go haywire.

I mean, it happened a month ago. I've been trying to think of a way to tell

ever since.

We were out messing around and something happened. But it's over. I mean, it's

no big deal.

I never even called her again.

If you ask me, Rhett, she's a very aggressive girl. You understand what I'm

saying? No, I don't understand.

She never really was your girlfriend, Rhett. Hey, fuck you, Damone.

I mean, there are a lot of girls out there, and you have to mess around with

Stacey. I mean, what have you got to prove, anyway?

Sorry.

Look, I always stick up for you.

Whenever people say, ah, that Damone, he's a loudmouth, and they say that a

I always say, hey, you just don't know Damone.

I mean, when they call you an idiot, I say, hey, Damone's not an idiot. You

don't know him.

Well, you know something, man? Maybe they do know you pretty good.

Maybe I'm just finding out now.

Get lost.

You want to do something about it, Brad?

Come on, you want to do something about it? Come on.

Come on.

Okay, let's go, man. Come on, I'll break your fucking head off. No, do

something, man. Hey!

Come on, come on, hurry up, hurry up.

All right, now today we're going to explore how this hospital preserves

life. We'll be visiting every floor, every level where these fine doctors and

nurses take care of us in life and in death.

Over 30 children are delivered here each day.

Dr. Kramer to the nurse's station. Good morning, doctor. Dr. Kramer to the

nurse's station, please. Class, this is Dr. Miller. He'll be joining us for the

last part of our tour today.

Hi. If you guys would follow me, please.

I'd like to ask you one last time.

Conduct yourselves with the utmost maturity.

You in my class?

I am today.

Yes, Greg. Who are these guys?

Most of them are derelicts, Greg. They sold their bodies to medicine for money.

About $30, I think.

$25.

Righteous bucks.

This gentleman here is named Arthur.

Arthur was good enough to die last week of heart failure, and we are fortunate

enough today to view his body in its pristine state.

Now here an incision has been made. The ribs have been sawed off, allowing us to

remove the breastplate and really observe the human organs as they exist

their natural state. Here we have... the human lungs and here is the human heart

which you can see is actually located in the center of your chest

out of myself no come on no you didn't can't go back in there sure sure we'll

just we'll wait until they come out and then we'll we'll blend in oh here they

come so nice

I don't know, I don't know which way I should go. I don't know.

Oh, you should be coming on pretty soon, dude. How much do you smoke?

This will be a little demonstration of that.

Listen, listen up.

What was that?

That was my skull.

I'm so wasted.

Oh, man.

What is this stuff?

Doesn't that stuff cause brain damage?

Only if you take it, like, every day for a month.

Bitchin'.

Hey, dude, I'll pick you up in the van and go to the dance.

There.

Jeff, you have company.

Get out of here, Curtis. I don't hear you unless you knock.

That's better.

Entry.

Mr. Hunt.

Well, were you going somewhere tonight, Jeff?

Yeah, a graduation dance.

It's the last school fiesta of the year.

Well, I'm afraid we've got some business to discuss here, Jeff.

Did I do something wrong, Mr. Hunt?

According to my calculations, Mr.

Spicoli, you wasted a total of eight hours of my time this year.

And rest assured, that is a kind estimate.

Now I have the unique pleasure of squaring our account.

Tonight, you and I are going to talk in great detail about the Davis Agreement,

all the associated treaties, and the American Revolution in particular. If

can just turn to page 47 of Land of Truth and Liberty.

Oh, I left that book in my locker, Mr. Ad.

In that case, I'm glad I remembered to bring an extra copy, just for you.

Look,

Mark, I want to apologize for everything that's happened.

I'm really sorry. A guy just doesn't do that to a buck.

Look, I understand. You can't help it.

Just rude, crude, and obnoxious.

I can deal with that.

Listen,

are we still friends?

Huh?

Whatever.

What Jefferson was saying was, hey.

You know, we left this England place because it was bogus.

So if we don't get some cool rules ourselves, pronto, we'll just be bogus,

Yeah?

Very close, Jeff.

I think I've made my point with you tonight.

Mr. Han, do you have a guy like me in class every year?

You know, a guy who you make an example of?

You'll find out next year. No way.

As soon as I cruise history, I'm not coming near your side of the building.

Cruise history?

As soon as I pass your glass.

If you pass.

Father, you're going to flunk me?

Don't worry, Spicoli.

You'll probably squeak by. Yeah.

Aloha, Mr. Hyde.

Aloha, Spicoli.

are my two star students.

Boys, I'd like you to meet my wife, Mrs. Vargas.

that you weren't coming to my graduation.

Doug, this is not the kind of thing that occurs between adults.

Maybe you found someone new, someone more mature.

But if you ask me, Doug, you're the one being childish.

Anyhow, if you think that I'm going to sit around and wait for you, you can

forget it.

Sincerely, Linda.

What do you think?

I have another version where I call him an asshole.

No, that one's better.

It's more... Mature?

Yeah.

Then I don't have to sink to his level. Yeah.

I can go out with anyone I want, practically.

That's right.

Yeah.

Thanks for cheering me up.

figured it out.

I don't want sex.

Anyone can have sex.

Yeah, Stacy, what do you want?

I want a relationship.

I want romance.

You want romance? In Ridgemont? We can't even get cable TV here, Stacy, if you

want romance.

Another summer at Perry's. I can't. I swear.

Come on, it's not that bad. Keep your eyes open. There's lots of men around

here.

As we drove by the sea together Under

dark twinkling highlights

I have this picture of me that I wanted to give to you so that you'll remember

to call me over the summer. Well, I don't know. I'm going to be traveling a

this summer.

I'm not sure.

You worked at All -American Burger.

Seven months ago.

I knew it.

Why don't you get a job, Spicoli?

What for?

You need money.

All I need are some tasty waves, cool buzz, and I'm fine.

Thanks. Can I use your bathroom?

I'm watching this place.

I know what I'm doing.