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GET READY TO BEG, HERC.

I DON'T THINK SO.

HEY, NOT BAD.

THANKS, BUT I'M SAVING THE GOOD STUFF FOR LATER.

WHY? YOUR MOM'S NOT COMING TO PARENTS DAY.

OH, NO.

BUT YOURS ARE.

SOMEONE'S GOTTA MAKE YOU LOOK GOOD.

SAVE YOUR STRENGTH.

MY PARENTS AREN'T COMING.

WHAT DID YOU SAY?

OOH.

OOH, HERCULES!

OH! OH, OH.

WHAT I MEANT WAS...

THEY'RE NOT COMING TOGETHER.

YOU SEE, MY DAD'S GOT TO...

FINISH OFF THIS LITTLE WAR THING

AND THEN HE'S GONNA MEET MY MOM HERE.

GOOD.

WE HAVE MUCH TO TALK ABOUT.

OH.

ONLY THE GOOD STUFF, THOUGH. RIGHT?

REMEMBER, IOLAUS.

HE WHO ADMITS HIS MISTAKES BECOMES A WISER MAN.

UMPH.

I GUESS AFTER TODAY I'LL BE A GENIUS.

WE ALL LIVE AND HOPE FOR THAT.

HAVE YOU SEEN IOLAUS?

I SHOULD PROBABLY MEET HIS FATHER

AND HEAR SOME WAR STORIES AND ALL THAT.

YOU KNOW, I DON'T THINK HIS DAD'S COMING.

I FOUND THIS NEAR HIS LOCKER.

WELL, LOOK WHO'S HERE?

- WHAT? - YOU DIDN'T EVEN GIVE

YOUR INVITATION TO YOUR PARENTS.

THERE'S A PERFECTLY GOOD EXPLANATION.

REALLY? WELL, IS IT ONE THAT PREVENTS CHEIRON

FROM GIVING YOU DETENTION FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE?

ABSOLUTELY. THIS SHOULD BE GOOD.

WHAT IS IT?

AH, HERE COMES MOM AND DAD.

AH, THAT'S NOT YOUR MOM.

AND I'M JUST GUESSING HERE,

BUT THAT'S NOT YOUR DAD, IS IT?

THEY ARE SO MY PARENTS.

I HIRED THEM FOR THE DAY.

EXCUSE ME, YOU WHAT?

- IOLAUS. - IOLAUS.

HA. HUH. AH.

OUR BEAUTIFUL BOY.

HUH. HA-HA. HUH.

YEAH, MOM, DAD, I'M IOLAUS.

- IOLAUS. - IOLAUS.

OUR BEAUTIFUL BOY.

IOLAUS.

IOLAUS.

IN AN AGE OF LIGHT AND DARKNESS,

ZEUS, KING OF THE GODS, RULED THE UNIVERSE.

HE HAD A SON,

YOUNG HERCULES.

HALF GOD, HALF MAN,

YOUNG HERCULES LONGS TO FIND HIS PLACE IN THE WORLD,

THE FATHER HE'S NEVER KNOWN,

AND WHAT IT MEANS TO BE A HERO.

BEFORE THE MAN BECAME LEGEND,

BEFORE THE LEGEND BECAME MYTH

CAME THE GREATEST ADVENTURE OF ALL.

DAD, MOM?

SURELY YOU CAN REMEMBER HERCULES?

AH, YES, HERCULES,

THE NEWLY CROWNED KING OF CORINTH.

RIGHT?

NO, THAT'S JASON.

BUT THAT WAS GOOD. I BELIEVED IT.

YEAH.

IOLAUS, CAN I TALK TO YOU ALONE?

- NOT RIGHT NOW? - OH, NO.

YES, YES, YES, RIGHT NOW.

THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU.

A FRIEND OWED ME A FAVOR.

WHEN HE TOLD ME ABOUT THESE ACTORS,

I THOUGHT THEY COULD BE MY PARENTS FOR PARENTS DAY.

YOU'RE RIGHT. YOU'RE RIGHT.

HEY, YOU KNOW WHO WOULD HAVE BEEN BETTER?

- WHO? - YOUR REAL ONES?

HEY, MY REAL PARENTS

ARE ALWAYS DISAPPOINTED IN ME.

I THOUGHT I'D SAVE THEM THE TROUBLE.

I CAN SEE IT RIGHT NOW.

IT'S NEVER GONNA WORK.

LOOK. THE ONLY PEOPLE THAT KNOW

THEY'RE NOT MY PARENTS ARE YOU AND ALCMENE.

AND YOUR MOM ISN'T COMING.

HERCULES. OH, HI.

I THOUGHT YOU SAID SHE WAS SICK.

I GUESS SHE GOT BETTER.

WELL, SHE'LL KNOW THEY'RE NOT MY PARENTS.

YOU GOT TO HELP ME, HERC. OH, PLEASE.

OH, PLEASE. I'LL GET EXPELLED.

- OKAY. - OH, YES.

FINE, GO TO YOUR REVIEW, ALL RIGHT?

BUT THEN I WANT THOSE THESPIANS OUT OF HERE.

OKAY, THANKS, MAN. YOU'RE BRILLIANT.

FINE.

WHOA. OH, OKAY. OKAY. OKAY.

HA-HA. I'LL TALK TO YOU.

- AH! - GO!

MOM. HA-HA.

MMM. YOU MADE IT.

OH, A SILLY COLD CAN'T KEEP ME AWAY FROM MY SON.

- HMM. - WASN'T THAT IOLAUS?

NOPE. JUST LOOKED LIKE HIM.

OKAY. OKAY, HERE.

HOW ARE YOU?

FINE, HONEY.

OH!

WELL, THERE'S A FINE HELLO.

NEINA. OH, YOU MADE IT.

BARELY.

THIS PLACE IS A LOT FURTHER THAN I THOUGHT.

OH.

LITTLE SISTER, WHAT ARE YOU WEARING?

SO SPORTY.

YOU LIKE IT?

HONEY, YOU USED TO BE SO PRETTY.

OH, WELL.

AM I THE FIRST TO ARRIVE?

ACTUALLY, YOU'RE THE LAST. BUT THAT'S OKAY.

THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IS THAT YOU'RE...

WELL, WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?

SHOW ME AROUND.

WE DON'T HAVE ALL DAY.

OOF.

WHOA. THIS IS WHERE WE EAT.

I SEE.

SO, HOW'S THE FOOD?

OH, WELL, YEAH. I'M STILL ALIVE.

HA-HA, JUST KIDDING.

IT'S JUST NOT AS GOOD AS YOURS.

OH, OH. SIR, HI.

CHEIRON, THIS IS MOTHER, ALCMENE.

AND ALCMENE, THIS IS CHEIRON.

IT'S SO NICE TO FINALLY MEET YOU.

IT'S MY PLEASURE, ALCMENE.

YOU HAVE A FINE SON IN HERCULES.

YES, I KNOW.

I PAID HIM TO SAY THAT.

HAVE YOU SEEN ANYONE ACTING SUSPICIOUSLY?

WHAT? BUT... NO, NO. HMM.

WHY DO YOU ASK?

THE CONSTABLE FROM THE NEXT TOWN SENT A MESSAGE.

TWO THIEVES ARE AT WORK IN THE AREA.

IT'S PROBABLY NOTHING,

BUT I THOUGHT I'D SPREAD THE WORD.

WE'LL TALK LATER.

OKAY. OKAY.

I GOTTA GO FIND IOLAUS.

GREAT, I'LL COME ALONG.

WHAT? NO.

NO, BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO STAY HERE.

I DO?

YES, BECAUSE YOU'RE NEEDED.

- I AM? - HMM.

I LIED.

THE COOK'S NOT AS GOOD AS I SAID HE WAS.

SORRY. HE ONLY KNOWS HOW TO MAKE HIS BARLEY.

YOU KNOW, HE MAKES BARLEY STEW, AND BARLEY ON TOAST,

AND BARLEY WITH A SIDE OF SIDE OF BARLEY.

PERHAPS I COULD SHOW HIM A THING OR TWO.

YOU ARE THE BEST, MOM. THANK YOU.

- HE'S RIGHT OVER THERE. - OVER HERE?

OVER THERE. AND YOU CAN'T MISS HIM, OKAY?

HE'S ANGRY ABOUT HIS LIFE AND HE'S ROLLING AROUND IN BARLEY.

OKAY?

SILK. I...

OKAY.

NOW, LET'S REVIEW.

YOU ARE SKOUROUS, MY WAR HERO FATHER.

AND YOU ARE, ERYTHEIA, MY MOTHER.

AND WHEN CHEIRON COMES IN...

OH, PLEASE. WE ARE PROFESSIONALS.

I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW,

MY POSEIDON MADE A HUGE SPLASH IN ATHENS.

COME, COME.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

THE CONSTABLE IS LOOKING FOR TWO THIEVES.

CONSTABLE?

WHAT'S UP WITH THAT?

HE'S LOOKING FOR THEM.

THEM? NO, NO, NO.

THEY COME HIGHLY RECOMMENDED.

IF I THOUGHT THEY WERE DOING ANYTHING WRONG...

LOOK AT THIS ONE.

OH, THAT'S IT.

NOW, YOU GET THEM OUT OF HERE. AND ONCE YOU GET THEM OUT...

I WILL. I WILL, I WILL, I WILL,

WHEN THE REVIEW IS OVER.

NOW.

- CAN I HELP YOU? - OH.

- LEAVE. LEAVE. - LEAVING.

CHEIRON.

- DAD, MOM... - UH-HMM.

THIS IS CHEIRON.

IT'S A PLEASURE TO FINALLY MEET YOU, SKOUROUS.

I'VE HEARD MUCH ABOUT YOUR EXPLOITS IN THE BATTLEFIELD.

YES.

WE MUST HAVE A TALK SOME TIME,

WARRIOR TO WARRIOR.

GO. SIT DOWN.

I WOULD BE INTERESTED TO HEAR ABOUT

THE BATTLE OF BOETHIAH.

WELL, DAD DOESN'T REALLY LIKE TO TALK ABOUT THE WAR

ESPECIALLY IN FRONT OF MOM.

OH, I DON'T MIND.

GO AHEAD, DEAR.

WELL, THE...

BATTLE RAGED ALL AROUND US.

THERE WAS A LOT OF FIERCE FIGHTING.

YES, I LOST A LOT OF GOOD MEN THAT DAY.

BUT THE REPORTS FROM THE FRONT SAID

THERE WAS ONLY ONE CASUALTY.

YES, ONLY...

ONE MAN ACTUALLY DIED.

BUT A LOT OF THEM SORT OF WANDERED OFF.

WE NEVER DID FIND THEM.

SO, HOW ABOUT THAT REVIEW THEN, HUH?

AH.

OH.

HERE WE ARE.

TSK, TSK, TSK.

IOLAUS, YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF.

IN MY LINE OF WORK, THERE'S ONLY ONE WAY

TO ENFORCE DISCIPLINE,

CUT OFF THEIR...

PRIVILEGES.

BREAK THEIR SPIRIT.

WELL, I GUESS THAT'S IT, THEN.

SO IT'S TIME TO GO. I THINK YOU GUYS HAVE TO GO TO THAT THING.

- OH, WHAT THING? - YOU KNOW, THAT THING

THAT REQUIRES YOU TO BE THERE NOW.

NONSENSE.

IF THEY GO NOW, THEY'LL MISS ALL THE FUN OF PARENTS DAY.

AND WE WOULDN'T WANT THAT,

NOW, WOULD WE, SON?

I AM NOT LEAVING, NEINA.

I DON'T CARE IF YOU ARE MY BIG SISTER.

LILITH, STOP BEING SO DISAGREEABLE.

I NEVER SAID I WANTED TO GO HOME.

SO YOU WANTED ME TO COME HERE JUST TO UPSET ME?

NEINA, I LOVE YOU.

I INVITED YOU HERE BECAUSE I WANTED YOU TO SEE HOW HAPPY I AM.

BUT WHAT ABOUT ME? WITHOUT YOUR HELP,

I CAN BARELY RUN THE FARM.

WE CAN HIRE SOME HELP.

IT'S NOT THE SAME, I NEED YOU.

YOUR FAMILY NEEDS YOU.

IT'S WHAT MOM AND DAD WOULD HAVE WANTED.

- BUT I... - ENOUGH SELFISHNESS.

LET'S GO HOME.

HELLO, CHEIRON.

SO, YOU GROW ALL YOUR OWN HAY HERE?

WHAT?

I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU WERE GONNA GET RID OF THEM.

WELL, THAT WAS BEFORE

THEY BECAME BEST BUDDIES WITH CHEIRON.

- OH. - IOLAUS.

- HEY. - FINALLY,

- I GET TO SAY HELLO. - HI.

WHERE ARE YOUR PARENTS?

THEY COULDN'T MAKE IT.

WELL, THAT'S ODD.

YOUR MOTHER SAID SHE AND YOUR DAD

WOULD BOTH BE HERE.

YOU SAW MY MOM?

YES, AT THE MARKET.

SHE DIDN'T RECEIVE AN INVITATION.

BUT I TOLD HER EVERY PARENT WAS WELCOME.

OH, BOY. OH, BOY. HA-HA.

YOUR DAD IS EVEN MAKING A SPECIAL TRIP HOME

FROM THE WAR JUST TO SEE YOU.

OH, MY DAD...

IS COMING HERE?

I GOTTA SLOP THE HOGS.

IOLAUS?

DAD.

HELLO.

MOM,

YOU'RE HERE.

OOH!

IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU, IOLAUS.

YOU TOO.

CUT TO THE CHASE, BOY.

YOUR MOM SAYS WE NEVER GOT AN INVITATION?

- REALLY? - UH-HMM.

HUH.

WELL, IT MUST BE THOSE PESKY CARRIER PIGEONS.

THEY'RE TOTALLY UNRELIABLE DURING MATING SEASON.

MOM, DAD, YOU GUYS KNOW ALCMENE.

HELLO.

AND THIS IS HERCULES.

AH, HERCULES, OF COURSE.

VERY LOVELY.

SIR, IT'S A PLEASURE TO FINALLY MEET YOU.

HERCULES, HUH?

YOU'RE THE ONE WHO KEEPS GETTING MY SON IN TROUBLE.

- GET HIM IN WHAT? - NO.

GUYS, HOW ABOUT WE CHECK OUT THAT BOAT RACE WAY DOWN BY THE RIVER?

I'M MUCH MORE INTERESTED IN FINDING OUT

HOW YOU'VE BEEN DOING THIS YEAR.

OH. WELL, YOU JUST MISSED

THE PARENT-TEACHER CONFERENCE.

HMM?

SO, WHO'S UP FOR A LONG HIKE?

BUT YOU'VE COME SUCH A LONG WAY.

I'M SURE CHEIRON WILL LET YOU RE-SCHEDULE.

- RIGHT. - GREAT.

- THANKS, ALCMENE. - RIGHT.

- COME ON, DEAR. - OH.

OKAY. SEE YOU LATER, HONEY.

- BYE. - YES, BYE.

THERE THEY GO AGAIN,

WALKING OFF LIKE I WASN'T HERE.

SO, WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO NOW?

I DON'T KNOW.

OH.

- TRY AND STALL THEM. - WHAT?

SO, CAN I USE IT?

EXCUSE ME. EXCUSE ME. SORRY.

CHANGE OF PLANS.

MY REAL PARENTS ARE HERE.

I NEED YOUR HELP.

- TEN DINARS. - FIVE.

FIFTEEN.

OKAY, FINE.

HOW CAN WE HELP YOU,

- SON? - SON?

COME ON, TRY TO KEEP UP.

SEE THAT OVER THERE?

ALL RIGHT, IN THIS ROOM OVER HERE

WE HAVE HAND-TO-HAND TRAINING.

THIS GRAFTING. THIS IS SUCH AN UNUSUAL PLACE.

WHAT DO YOU WANT?

SORRY, SIR, I'M HAVING PROBLEMS WITH THIS EXERCISE.

I GUESS I NEED SOMEBODY EXPERIENCED TO SHOW ME HOW IT'S DONE.

FIND AN INSTRUCTOR. I'M BUSY.

WHO DID THAT?

ENEMY SPIES.

I SAW THEM.

THEY WENT OVER THERE.

RIGHT, ENEMY SPIES.

THIS IS A CENTAUR'S COSTUME?

NO, WE USED IT LAST YEAR AT THE SOLSTICE FESTIVAL.

IT'S ALL WE GOT NOW.

- STOP SQUIRMING. - OH, HEY.

HOW COME I'M PLAYING A SUPPORTING ROLE?

COME ON. IN YOU HOP. GET IN THERE.

OWW. OUCH.

AH. AH. OWW.

- OUCH. - HOLD ON. HOLD ON.

- CHEIRON? - MOM, DAD. HI.

- SON? - OH, HI, HONEY.

YOU MUST BE CHEIRON.

YOU SEEM DIFFERENT THAN I IMAGINED.

WELL, IT APPEARS THAT PERCEPTION

IS IN THE EYE OF THE PERCEIVER.

PARDON ME.

MAYBE WE SHOULD JUST GET TO THE REVIEW, CHEIRON.

YES.

WELL DONE, IOLAUS.

- VERY IMPRESSIVE. - OH. IT LOOKS GOOD.

- MMM. - OH, HEY, HONEY.

AS YOU CAN SEE, YOUR SON

- HAS BEEN A MODEL STUDENT. - GOOD JOB.

REMINDS OF A SON I ONCE HAD.

ARE YOU SURE WE'RE TALKING ABOUT OUR IOLAUS?

FORGIVE THE INTRUSION.

WE'RE SEARCHING FOR A COUPLE OF THIEVES.

THIEVES?

WE'VE TRACKED THEM TO THE ACADEMY.

THIEVES.

WHAT DO THEY WANT HERE? THERE'S NOTHING WORTH STEALING.

IOLAUS, LET THEM IN.

WE HAVE NOTHING TO HIDE.

OH, REALLY?

A BRACELET LIKE THIS ONE

WAS REPORTED STOLEN FROM A NEARBY TOWN.

ARREST THEM.

- IOLAUS. IOLAUS. - WHAT?

TELL THEM WHO WE ARE.

- LET GO OF ME. - LOOK.

YOU'VE YOU GOT THE WRONG COUPLE.

YOU'RE LOOKING FOR THEM.

CHEIRON IS A THIEF?

NO. WHAT? NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.

NO, LET ME EXPLAIN.

WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?

- AND WHO ARE YOU? - IT'S OKAY.

YOU'RE NOT NEEDED HERE, SIR. BUT THANK YOU.

THIS IS MY OFFICE, AND I'M CHEIRON.

LOOK, CHEIRON, OR WHOEVER YOU ARE,

ARE THESE HIS PARENTS OR NOT?

I'VE NEVER SEEN THESE TWO BEFORE.

THAT'S ALL I NEED TO KNOW. TAKE THEM AWAY.

- IOLAUS! - IOLAUS!

WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. HOLD ON.

I CAN SHOW THAT I GOT EVERYTHING UNDER CONTROL. DON'T WORRY.

IOLAUS.

YES.

CARE TO EXPLAIN?

NOT REALLY...

SIR.

- HERCULES. - WHAT? OH, NO.

- HERC, HERCULES - HERCULES: NO.

- YOU GOTTA HELP ME. - NO.

MY PARENTS HAVE BEEN ARRESTED.

- NO. - THE FAKES HAVE TAKEN

- OFF WITH CHEIRON'S CHALICE. - NO.

HERC, PLEASE.

- FINE. - OH.

ALL RIGHT. YOU STOP THE CONSTABLE

FROM LEAVING WITH YOUR FOLKS AND I'LL GET THE FAKES.

- REALLY? - HERCULES. WHY NOT?

THANKS.

OH, WHAT A GREAT DAY.

WE'VE GOT THE LOOT AND THE LAW IS OFF OUR BACKS.

DON'T COUNT ON IT.

LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.

STAY BACK OR SHE GETS IT.

YOU KNOW WHAT?

YOU TWO ARE REALLY STARTING TO TICK ME OFF.

DON'T PUSH ME.

LISTEN,

THERE'S GOT TO BE A WAY TO WORK THIS OUT.

- AH! - OH!

- YA! - OOH! OWW.

INTERESTING COUPLE OF CHARACTERS.

YOU OKAY, NEINA?

I THINK SO, THANKS TO YOU.

QUIET!

QUIET, EVERYONE!

BUT...

IOLAUS.

AH, YES, SIR?

YOU SEEM TO BE IN THE MIDDLE OF ALL THIS.

MAYBE YOU COULD EXPLAIN TO THE CONSTABLE HERE.

WELL, IT ALL STARTED WHEN I ASKED THIS...

COUPLE TO POSE AS MY PARENTS FOR PARENTS DAY.

OH, IOLAUS. HOW COULD YOU?

WELL,

I KNEW YOU AND DAD WERE COUNTING ON ME AND I...

I DIDN'T WANT TO DISAPPOINT YOU.

OH.

FAKE PARENTS. NOW, WHAT IS UP WITH THAT?

WELL, YOU'RE NEVER AROUND. WHAT'S UP WITH THAT?

NEVER AROUND? LOOK, I'VE GOT A...

HE'S RIGHT, SKOUROUS.

YOU KNOW, MAYBE IF WE SPENT MORE TIME WITH IOLAUS,

WE WOULDN'T HAVE THESE PROBLEMS.

SON,

YOU KNOW THAT I...

ALWAYS...

WE LOVE YOU, IOLAUS.

YEAH, WHAT SHE SAID.

SO, HAVE YOU CHANGED YOUR MIND ABOUT THE ACADEMY?

- NO. - OH.

BUT I'VE CHANGED MY MIND ABOUT YOU.

THIS IS WHERE YOU BELONG.

MOM AND DAD WOULD HAVE BEEN PROUD.

OH.

THANKS, NEINA.

LOOKS LIKE WE'LL SEE YOU NEXT VACATION.

OF COURSE, YOU'LL BE GROUNDED FOR THAT STUNT YOU PULLED.

YES, YOU NAUGHTY BOY.

LISTEN, I'M REALLY SORRY

THAT WE DIDN'T GET A CHANCE TO SPEND MORE TIME TOGETHER.

WELL, IT SEEMS YOU WERE A LITTLE BUSY.

YEAH, BUT YOU KNOW THERE'S NO ONE MORE IMPORTANT TO ME

THAN MY CARING, FORGIVING, THOUGHTFUL...

- OH, HERCULES. - MOTHER.

HUH?

- BYE, NEINA. - AH, CRAZY KID.

TAKE CARE.

- BYE. - BYE.

- BYE, IOLAUS. - BYE, ALCMENE.

- WOW. - OOH.

GUYS, YOU KNOW THAT EXAM WE GOT NEXT WEEK.

I GOT THIS GENIUS IDEA OF HOW TO GET OUT OF IT.

DO YOU HEAR ANYTHING?

HMM. NO, NO, NOT A THING.

- NOT A WORD. - HMM. YES.

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