Original subtitles

NO.

NO, PLEASE.

NO.

UH HUH, OH YEAH.

LET'S JUST TALK ABOUT THIS, OKAY?

HEY, YOU HAVING FUN YET, LITTLE BROTHER? I SURE AM.

STICK A SANDAL IN IT, ARES.

WHAT YOU SAID.

THAT'LL LEAVE A MARK TOMORROW.

YOU KNOW I'VE WANTED TO DO THIS

SINCE THE DAY YOU WERE BORN.

I NEVER DARED DREAM IT'D BE SO SATISFYING.

I DON'T MEAN TO BE CRITICAL, UNC,

BUT DON'T YOU THINK YOU SHOULD JUST LIGHTEN UP

JUST A TEENSY LITTLE BIT?

LIGHTEN UP?

THERE IS NO LIGHTENING.

I HAVE HERCULES EXACTLY WHERE I WANT HIM.

BUT WHAT ABOUT THE PROTECTION ORDER?

YOU DESTROY HERCULES AND ZEUS

WILL SEND YOU STRAIGHT TO TARTARUS.

YES, YES.

SEE, I DON'T NEED TO WORRY ABOUT DADDY'S PROTECTION ORDER... ANYMORE.

PIECES OF THE CHRONOS STONE.

NO TOUCHING!

THESE HAVE MADE ME MORE POWERFUL THAN I'VE EVER BEEN.

ONCE I GET THE OTHER TWO,

I'LL BE IN CHARGE.

OH, I'M REALLY, I MEAN REALLY GONNA ENJOY THIS.

UNCLE ARES?

UNC, HEY UNC.

HERE'S YOUR DOUBLE-DOUBLE AMBROSIA, SIDE OF FRIES.

YOU INTERRUPTED ME.

OH, I WAS HAVING THE NICEST DAYDREAM ABOUT MY PLANS

FOR THE CHRONOS STONE.

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PIECES OF THE CHRONOS STONE.

NO TOUCHING.

WHERE HAS THAT COME FROM?

IT TOOK ME 800 YEARS TO FIND THE FIRST TWO PIECES.

YIKES.

ZEUS DECREED

THAT THE PIECES OF THE CHRONOS STONE WOULD BE POWERLESS

UNLESS A GOD RECEIVED EACH ONE FREELY

FROM THE HANDS OF A MORTAL. NOW DO YOU KNOW

HOW HARD THAT IS?

OH COME ON, UNC. WITH YOUR WINNING PERSONALITY

AND GOOD OLD-FASHIONED PEOPLE SKILLS.

THE THIRD PIECE MAY BE

WITHIN MY GRASP.

OH JOY.

SOME DUSTY, ROADSIDE-INN PRIZE

IN A MORTAL TALENT CONTEST, IF YOU BELIEVE THAT.

BUT YOU JUST SAID IF YOU GRAB IT

THE THING WON'T WORK AND IF YOU ORDER A MORTAL

TO GIVE IT TO YOU, IT STILL WON'T WORK.

BUT IF I WIN, IT WILL.

YOU'RE WILLING TO MIX WITH MORTALS?

WHATEVER IT TAKES

TO GET MY HANDS

ON THAT CRYSTAL.

OH, GOSH, PEOPLE SURE HAVE SHELLED OUT

FOR THIS PRIZE BASKET, HUH?

YEAH. HEY, YOU GOT A CRYSTAL PAPERWEIGHT,

SOME BATH SALT.

EW, GOAT JERKY.

YEAH.

DINARS.

- NO, NO, NO. - WHAT? NO.

LISTEN, IF YOU WANT TO WIN THEM, YOU CAN ENTER THE CONTEST, OKAY?

YEAH, LIKE I'M GONNA SING IN FRONT

- OF ALL THOSE PEOPLE. - IOLAUS,

I'VE HEARD YOU SING, YOU CAN.

NO, NO.

IN THE SHOWER, MAYBE, BUT I AM NOT GONNA GET NAKED

FOR ANYTHING, BELIEVE ME.

IOLAUS, CAN YOU HELP ME GET SOME MORE CHAIRS?

I DON'T KNOW WHERE ALL THESE PEOPLE ARE COMING FROM.

I'D LOVE TO, KORA, REALLY.

SHE LIKES ME. THAT MUST KILL YOU.

OH, HI.

YOU MUST BE HERE FOR THE TALENT CONTEST,

CAN I GET YOUR NAME?

- ARES. - ARES, ALL RIGHT.

AND YOUR OCCUPATION?

- GOD OF WAR. - GOD OF... GOD...

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

LIKE YOU SAID,

I'M HERE FOR THE TALENT CONTEST.

THREE GUESSES WHO'S GOING TO WIN,

THE FIRST TWO DON'T COUNT.

IN AN AGE OF LIGHT AND DARKNESS,

ZEUS, KING OF THE GODS, RULED THE UNIVERSE.

HE HAD A SON,

YOUNG HERCULES.

HALF-GOD, HALF-MAN,

YOUNG HERCULES LONGS TO FIND HIS PLACE IN THE WORLD,

THE FATHER HE'S NEVER KNOWN

AND WHAT IT MEANS TO BE A HERO.

BEFORE THE MAN BECAME LEGEND,

BEFORE THE LEGEND BECAME MYTH,

CAME THE GREATEST ADVENTURE OF ALL.

THE GOD OF WAR WANTS TO ENTER

A MORTAL TALENT CONTEST, NOW...

WHAT'S WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE?

WHAT? DON'T YOU THINK I GOT ENOUGH TALENT?

I THINK YOU DO, YEAH,

FOR STARTING WARS AND RUINING PEOPLE'S LIVES.

OH STOP, YOU'RE EMBARRASSING ME NOW.

SO THIS IS WHAT PASSES FOR ART AROUND HERE?

YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT, STRIFE?

ALL RIGHT. LISTEN,

WHATEVER YOU GUYS CAME IN HERE TO START,

WE CAN FINISH OUTSIDE, ALL RIGHT?

LIKE IT'S ALWAYS ABOUT YOU.

WELL, ISN'T IT? WHY ARE YOU GUYS HERE?

I HAVE COME HERE TO ENTER A TALENT CONTEST,

NOW IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME

I MUST GO WARM UP.

AND NOW OUR NEXT CONTESTANTS,

PETRA, PAULA AND MURRAY.

OOF!

GET OFF.

OKAY, BIG PROBLEM.

YEAH NO KIDDING, A TALENT QUEST WITH NO TALENT.

THE CROWD IS STARTING TO GET UGLY.

NO,

GUESS WHO JUST SIGNED IN? ARES.

- YOU'RE KIDDING. - ARES.

THAT'S KIND OF CUTE, LIKE THE GOD OF WAR.

NO, NO, NOT LIKE, IS.

YOU SEE, ARES IS HERE, RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW

WITH STRIFE AND DISCORD.

EXCITING, ISN'T IT?

ARES.

WHY ALL THE FUSS?

ALL I WANT TO DO IS JOIN IN YOUR LITTLE TALENT SHOW.

I DON'T BELIEVE YOU.

LISTEN, TOOTS,

YOU GIVE ME ONE MINUTE ON THAT STAGE,

I'LL SHOW YOU HOW SERIOUS I AM.

WELL I CAN'T EXACTLY KICK OUT THE GOD OF WAR NOW, CAN I?

GOOD,

SO IT'S SETTLED THEN.

YOU KNOW, STRIFE,

ABOUT THIS CHRONOS STONE,

I'VE BEEN THINKING.

YOU, THINKING.

OH YOU'RE SERIOUS.

I HATE MIMES.

LET ME HANDLE THIS.

WE KNOW ARES HAS TALENT TO BURN

BUT MORTALS ARE,

WELL, THEY'RE MORTALS.

NO ACCOUNTING FOR TASTE.

YOUR POINT BEING?

WHAT IF WE HELPED ARES REALLY SELL HIS NUMBER,

YOU KNOW? ADD A TOUCH OF SIZZLE,

GIVE HIM THE OLD RAZZLE DAZZLE.

AND DO WHAT? GIVE ARES A REASON TO BLOW US AWAY?

WORK WITH ME HERE.

IF WE PUSH HIM OVER THE TOP,

THEN HE DOESN'T WIN,

THE THREE OF US WIN.

SHE'S GOOD, CAN'T HAVE THAT.

WHOA, WHOA.

AND LET'S HERE IT FOR THE AMAZING AMARTA.

GREAT, YEAH. COMING UP NEXT, WE HAVE A VERY UNUSUAL ACT

FOR YOU HERE OF COURSE,

LET'S GIVE A GREAT BIG WARM WELCOME TO ARES.

ARES, GOD OF WAR.

CHILL CATS, BE COOL.

DON'T THINK OF ME AS THE GOD OF WAR,

THINK OF ME AS THE KING OF SWING.

HIT IT BOYS. ONE, TWO, ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR.

YEAH.

NASTY.

IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE, ALL RIGHT?

WHAT IS ARES DOING UP THERE?

♪ GOT MY HAIR SLICKED BACK, I'M READY TO SLIDE ♪

♪ A REAL COOL CAT WHO'S HERE FOR THE RIDE ♪

♪ A TIGER ON THE PROWL, LOOKING FOR PREY ♪

♪ HERE KITTY, KITTY, COME ON LET'S PLAY ♪

WELL ACTUALLY HE'S ROCKING THE HOUSE.

♪ HANDS DOWN, I'M GONNA WIN ♪

MAYBE HE WANTS TO WIN THAT PRIZE BASKET.

MAYBE THEY'RE OUT OF GOAT JERKY ON MT. OLYMPUS.

♪ GET OUT OF MY WAY ♪

♪ YOU ASK YOURSELVES WHY DO YOU LOVE ME? ♪

♪ WHY DO I MAKE YOU SCREAM AND SHOUT? ♪

♪ I THINK YOU KNOW NO ONE'S ABOVE ME ♪

♪ AND IF YOU DON'T I'LL GIVE YOU SOMETHING TO CRY ON ABOUT ♪

♪ GONNA ROCK IT, GONNA BRING IT. GONNA SHAKE IT ALL AROUND ♪

♪ GONNA TAKE YA, GONNA BREAK YA ♪

♪ GONNA TURN YOU UPSIDE DOWN ♪

♪ GONNA SLAM YA, GONNA JAM YA ♪

♪ GONNA BURN THIS PLACE RIGHT DOWN ♪

♪ GONNA SPIN IT, GONNA KILL IT ♪

♪ GONNA ROCK UNTIL YOUR HEAD POUNDS ♪

♪ GREEK GOD ALMIGHTY THAT'S WHO I AM ♪

♪ AND I'M THE GANG OF THE SWINGING JAM ♪

♪ I'M THE MAN WITH THE HIPPER SOUND ♪

♪ I REALLY KNOW HOW TO SHAKE 'EM DOWN ♪

♪ WAITING FOR SOMETHING THAT'LL SET YOU FREE ♪

♪ PRETTY BABY ROCK ALONG WITH ME, GET UP! ♪

♪ GET UP! ♪

♪ GO 'ROUND AND 'ROUND, HEY, FORGET ABOUT THOSE CLOWNS ♪

OKAY, WE GOT SOME GOAT JERKY AND SOME CHEESE.

YEAH. OH WE'VE GOT THIS

CRYSTAL PAPERWEIGHT HERE AND...

DO THAT AGAIN.

- DO WHAT? - MAKE IT GLOW.

WHAT?

HEY, IT DIDN'T DO THAT WHEN I PICKED IT UP.

MUST BE BECAUSE YOU'RE PART-GOD, HUH?

UH...

OKAY, OKAY.

THIS, THIS IS WHY ARES IS HERE.

HE WANTS THAT CRYSTAL.

I'M ONLY A HALF-GOD AND LOOK WHAT IT DOES FOR ME,

IMAGINE WHAT CAN HAPPEN IF HE GETS HIS HANDS ON IT.

WELL, I GUESS WE'RE GONNA FIND OUT,

HE'S GOT THIS CONTEST NAILED.

WELL, NO, LISTEN, WE CAN'T LET HIM WIN.

WELL, WE CAN'T STOP HIM. HE'S REALLY GOOD.

WE HAVE TO.

- IOLAUS! - UGH!

SORRY.

♪ GONNA SHAKE IT ALL AROUND ♪

♪ GONNA TAKE YA ♪

I'M SORRY. ARE YOU OKAY?

OH, YEAH, I'M FINE.

OKAY.

♪ GONNA BURN THIS PLACE RIGHT DOWN ♪

♪ GONNA ROCK UNTIL YOUR HEAD POUNDS ♪

♪ YEAH ♪

♪ COME ON ♪

YEAH.

ALL RIGHT.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, MUSCLING INTO MY ACT?

UNC, WE WERE ONLY TRYING TO HELP.

HMM.

CONGRATULATIONS, YOU WON, NOW TAKE YOUR BOWS AND GO.

PEOPLE, PEOPLE,

IT LOOKS LIKE WE...

WE HAVE A WINNER.

WHAT? NO, NO.

THERE'S ANOTHER ACT,

AND IT'S US.

GET OUT OF HERE.

WHOA, WHOA, WHAT DO YOU MEAN US?

I MEAN... I MEAN YOU SINGING AND ME PLAYING.

OH, NO, NO, NO, HERCULES. THIS IS...

IOLAUS, IOLAUS,

IF WE DON'T DO ANYTHING, ARES WILL WIN, OKAY?

BUT I CAN'T... BUT, BUT.

BUT, BUT, BUT, BUT, BUT NO.

SORRY.

BRING IT ON, PRETTY BOY.

- EXCUSE ME. SORRY. - EXCUSE ME.

YOUR MICROPHONE, IOLAUS.

THANK YOU.

SO WHAT? YOU FIGURE YOU'RE PART OF THE ACT,

YOU GET PART OF THE PRIZE?

WELL, LISTEN UP, KIDS,

IT AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN.

COME ON, UNC, BE REASONABLE.

WE HAD THE PLACE ROCKIN'.

ROCKIN'? I'LL SHOW YOU ROCKIN'.

MAYBE WE WILL JUST LEAVE NOW.

ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR.

♪ DOES ANYBODY KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE A HERO? ♪

I LOVE YOU, IOLAUS.

♪ BET YOU THINK YOU'RE KING OF THE WORLD ♪

♪ BUT SOONER OR LATER, LOOK OUT, YOU MIGHT DROWN ♪

♪ THAT'S OKAY, I CAN DEAL WITH IT ♪

♪ GOT MY FRIENDS ALL AROUND ME ♪

♪ AND WE'RE GONNA HAVE A GOOD TIME ♪

♪ GONNA MAKE A LITTLE NOISE ♪

♪ GONNA GET THIS WITH MY BOYS ♪

♪ GONNA SHAKE IT ALL AROUND ♪

♪ TAKE IT DOWNTOWN ♪

♪ HAVE A LITTLE BIT OF FUN ♪

♪ YOU'VE GOT TO GRAB IT ON THE RUN ♪

♪ BECAUSE WHEN THE MORNING COMES ♪

♪ YOU'LL BE UP AND GONE ♪

♪ HERE AND NOW ♪

♪ I'VE GOT TO SAY ♪

♪ THE SIMPLE TRUTH WON'T GO AWAY ♪

♪ THE WAY I FEEL ♪

♪ JUST CAN'T DESCRIBE ♪

♪ THE MAGIC WHEN I LOOK INTO YOUR EYES ♪

♪ I REMEMBER IT LIKE IT WAS YESTERDAY ♪

♪ MAYBE THAT'S BECAUSE IT HAPPENED LAST WEEK ♪

♪ YOU PULLED ME OVER ♪

♪ READ ME MY RIGHTS ♪

♪ IT DIDN'T BOTHER ME THEN ♪

♪ BUT NOW I'M LOSING SLEEP ♪

♪ I'M SURE IT'S ALREADY OVER ♪

♪ SHE WOKE UP AND SLAMMED THE DOOR ♪

♪ SHE SAID, "WE WERE JUST GETTING STARTED" ♪

♪ COME A LITTLE BIT CLOSER ♪

♪ IT'S GONNA TAKE SOME TIME ♪

♪ FOR US TO COME TOGETHER ♪

♪ THEN WE'LL BE JUST FINE ♪

♪ GOT TO ADMIT IT'S GETTING BETTER IN EVERY WAY ♪

♪ IT'LL ALL FALL INTO PLACE NOW ANY DAY ♪

♪ HERE AND NOW I'VE GOT TO SAY ♪

♪ MAKE NO MISTAKE, DON'T TURN AWAY ♪

♪ I WON'T DISGUISE THE WAY THAT I FEEL ♪

♪ JUST CAN'T BELIEVE THAT YOU'RE SO REAL ♪

♪ HERE AND NOW I'VE GOT TO SAY ♪

♪ THE SIMPLE TRUTH WON'T GO AWAY ♪

♪ THE WAY I FEEL, JUST CAN'T DESCRIBE ♪

♪ THE MAGIC WHEN I LOOK INTO YOUR EYES ♪

♪ WHEN I LOOK INTO YOUR EYES ♪

YES.

WHOO-HOO!

IT WAS NOTHING, THAT WAS NOTHING.

COULD WE MOVE THIS ALONG PLEASE?

OH, WE'RE MOVING, WE'RE MOVING.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

WELL, WHAT A SHOW,

LET'S HEAR IT FOR ALL OUR CONTESTANTS.

AND NOW FOR THE WINNER.

IT'S DOWN TO TWO.

DO YOU LOVE ARES, THE GOD OF WAR?

YOU ROCK.

OR IOLAUS, HERCULES AND THE CADETS?

WE HAVE A TIE.

A TIE? NO, NO. NO TIES.

THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE.

YOU CAN STILL HAVE FIRST PICK.

I WANT THE CRYSTAL.

YEAH, YOU LOOKING FOR THIS?

GIVE IT TO ME.

NO, NO.

BECAUSE YOU HAVEN'T SAID THE MAGIC WORD.

OH, I'M SORRY,

HOW ABOUT...

IOLAUS.

RIGHT, RUN, FOOLS,

RUN FROM THE GOD OF WAR.

ALL RIGHT.

THAT'S IT.

YOU.

IOLAUS, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

OH, SO COLD. SO VERY COLD.

IOLAUS, SNAP OUT OF IT.

SO YOU FINALLY GOT A BIT OF JUICE.

WELL, LET'S SEE IF I CAN'T SQUEEZE IT OUT OF YOU.

OH, YEAH?

TYPICAL.

YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'VE GOT,

YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO USE IT.

THAT'S NOT IMPORTANT TO ME.

WHAT'S IMPORTANT IS THE FACT

THAT I'VE GOT IT AND YOU DON'T.

NOT FOR LONG.

OH, YEAH?

YOU WANT TO PLAY ROUGH?

WELL, YOU CAN SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND, MISTER.

THAT IS SO YOU.

YOU GET YOUR HANDS ON THE CHRONOS STONE,

YOU CAN'T HIT WHAT YOU'RE AIMING AT.

NO, I CAN AND I DID.

NO!

OH, NO, WE'VE GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE. HUH? COME ON.

COME ON. COME ON.

HEY, WHAT'S THE CHRONOS STONE?

IT GAVE MY FATHER THE STRENGTH TO DEFEAT THE TITANS.

NO WONDER ARES WANTED IT SO BAD, HUH?

WELL, HE'S GONNA HAVE TO FIND IT FIRST.

NO!

YES.

THIS IS NOT OVER, HERCULES.

IT NEVER IS.

COULD SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME

WHAT JUST HAPPENED HERE?

WELL,

WE CAN TRY BUT...

WHILE YOU HELP ME CLEAN UP.

HEY I BET IT WAS FUN, HUH?

WHILE IT LASTED,

THE "BZZT" POWER THING.

- THE BZZT? YEAH. - YEAH.

KIND OF LIKE THE POWER

I EXHIBITED WHEN I WAS ON STAGE.

- WHAT? - THE SONG AND I

BECAME ONE, MAN. I WAS TOYING WITH THE AUDIENCE,

THEY WERE LIKE...

THEY WERE LIKE PUTTY IN MY HANDS.

IT WASN'T ACTUALLY FAIR TO THE OTHER COMPETITORS.

IOLAUS, ALL THE OTHER COMPETITORS MESSED UP.

NO, NO, NO, NO, THAT'S WHAT THEY'RE TELLING THEMSELVES

TO HIDE THE PAIN OF LOSING TO ME,

LOSING TO MY BEAUTIFUL PERFORMANCE.

EXCUSE ME.

I THINK I'M GONNA CHANGE MY NAME,

I NEED LIKE A STAGE NAME.

- UGH. - LIKE "THE KING," HUH?

I THINK "THE KING" HAS A CERTAIN RING TO IT.

♪ HERE AND NOW I'VE GOT TO SAY ♪

♪ THE SIMPLE TRUTH WON'T GO AWAY ♪

♪ THE WAY I FEEL, JUST CAN'T DESCRIBE ♪

♪ THE MAGIC WHEN I LOOK INTO YOUR EYES ♪

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