All language subtitles for Bud Abbott and Lou Costello Meet the Killer, Boris Karloff (1949).en.sdh

(ominous music)

(suspenseful music)

(paint sloshes)

(tires squealing)

(whooshes)

(machine gun firing)

(bullet ricochets)

- (laughs) You didn't dot the I.

(ploinks)

Whew.

(ominous music)

(paint splashing)

(eerie, haunting music)

(rain pouring)

(thunder rumbling)

(engine revving)

- Hey Joe, who's this guy Strickland?

All you news hawks hanging around here,

half the guests are inquiring about him.

- A fine hotel dick.

Don't you ever read anything
outside The Racing Form?

Amos Strickland is the
number-one criminal lawyer

in the country.

- Why all the excitement?

Lawyers have visited
the Lost Caverns before.

- Sure, but when the
lawyer's Amos Strickland

and he postpones an important
case to come up here,

something's cookin'.

(thunder rumbling)

(whistles)

- Hold it, no pictures, boys.

- How about a statement
for (mumbles) Herald?

- No statement, and I said no pictures.

- Mr. Strickland, how long
are you gonna be here?

(reporters shouting)

- Come on, boys, break
it up, you heard the man.

Beat it, go ahead.

- [Man] Who is he?

- You must be Mr. Strickland.

- Brilliant, you must
be the hotel detective.

(people chattering)

- Jeff, Mr. Strickland.

- Good evening, Mr. Strickland.

I'm sorry you were annoyed,

but you know how newsmen are.

- Unfortunately, yes.

Tell Mr. Crandall I'm here.

- I'm sorry, sir, Mr. Crandall's not in,

but I'll tell his niece you're here.

She's very anxious to speak with you.

- Young man, if I wanted
to speak to his niece,

I'd ask for her.

The moment Mr. Crandall comes in,

tell him I want to see him.

- Yes, sir.

Freddie, will you show Mr.
Strickland to room 125?

- Yes, sir.

(smacks)

- Oh, my leg.

Be more careful, my good man.

- I'm sorry.

- My umbrella.
- Yes, sir.

- Oh, pick up my bag.

(bangs)
(glass smashes)

(yells) Look, look.

Look at my glasses.

- They're broken.

- I'll have your job for this.

- Aren't you too old
for this type of work?

- I'll have you discharged, fired!

Pick up my bag.

Get out, you, you, you careless idiot.

Get out of here, get out.

- What seems to be the trouble?

- Who are you?

- I'm Mr. Melton, the hotel manager.

- Oh, you are, are you?

Well, look at my glasses.

- Who's responsible for this?

- He is.
- What!

- Well, it's your fault.

If you hadn't come here,
you'd never have broke 'em.

- I insist that you discharge
this moron immediately.

- Take off that uniform
and get out, you're fired.

- Fired?

(bag thuds)

Okay, I'll go.

I wanna tell you
something, Mr. Strickland,

I'll get even with you for this.

Every dog has his day, and I'll have mine.

I'm gonna make you pay for this.

- Are you threatening me?

- In words of one syllable, yes.

(wheezes)

(high-pitched grunting)

Pah, pah.

(chuckles)

- So you got fired, eh?

- Yes, I did,

and I'm gonna tell you the
same thing that I told him:

Every dog has his day.

(barks)

- I'll show you to your
room, Mr. Strickland.

Casey, bring the bags up.

- Who, me?
- You.

The key please, Jeff.

This way.

- [Casey] Jeff, give me a hand, will ya?

- Jeff, have you been demoted to bellboy?

- No, just helping Casey.

They belong to the great Mr. Strickland.

- Jeff, I told you to notify
me the instant he got here.

- He said he didn't want to
speak to you, just your uncle.

Mr. Strickland's a man
you don't argue with,

he just got Freddie fired.

Betty, I said Freddie's been fired again.

- What?

Oh, Freddie.

I'll speak to my uncle.

- Is there anything wrong?

- Not a thing.

- My key, please.
- Yes, Mrs. Grimsby.

(thunder rumbling)

- Thank you.

(mischievous, jaunty music)

(knocks)

(dramatic music)

(door clicks)

(mellow music)

- Mr. Strickland, I'm sorry
I barged in like this,

but I really came in to apologize to you.

I'm sorry for the way I talked to you.

Really I am, Mr. Strickland.

And I'm also sorry, Mr. Strickland,

that I dropped the golf bag on your toes.

It musta hurt.

(snickers)

Mr. Strickland, there's
somethin' else I wanna say.

I'm sorry I broke your eyeglasses.

Thanks a lot for allowing
me to apologize to ya.

(pats)

(dramatic music)

(body thuds)

Mr. Strickland, now that I apologized,

would you mind tellin' Mr. Melton?

(suspicious music)

Mr. Strickland, don't
you think it's better

if you go inside the next room?

There's a bed in there to lay down.

Hmm, it's a short walk.

(suspenseful music)

Mr. Strickland.

(thunder rumbles)

Don't you feel well?

(ominous music)

Uh-oh, this guy's plenty sick.

Oh.

(eerie music)

(thumping)

Whew.

He made it.

Oh.

What you need is air and plenty of it,

and I ain't gonna give it to ya

with a little handkerchief.

I gotta give you plenty of air.

(thunder rumbling)

Mr. Strickland, come on, will ya.

I gotta do somethin' to help you.

Come on, I, I want.

(ominous music)

Blood.

Blood.

He's dead.

Who did it, Mr. Strickland?

(suspicious music)

Gee,

that's funny.

I always thought that if I was in a room

alone with a dead person,

(chuckles) I'd be scared.

Ha, ha.

But, Casey!

(frantic music)

Hey, Mr. Melton, come on.
- Where?

(Freddie stammering)
(Melton yelling)

- How you feelin'?
- Casey!

(Freddie yelling)

- What's going on over here?

What's the matter, Mr. Melton?

- This idiot just attacked me.

Take him out of here
before he kills somebody.

- Oh me, I didn't do it,
I never killed anybody.

I just happened to find the body,

he was dead before I even got there.

- What body?
- Who's dead?

- What are you talking about?

- Mr. Strickland, he's been murdered.

- [Casey] Murdered?

- [Freddie] Yeah.

- Impossible, we don't
permit murders in this hotel.

- Ah, Mr. Smelton.
- Melton!

- (stammering) The poor
man, he's dead, dead, dead.

I walk in, tip my hat, (stammering).

Come here.

(door clicks)

Excuse me.

Th-th-th-there he is.

- He is dead.
- Sure, he's dead.

I been tryin' to figure
how to say that he's dead.

I'll see ya later.
- Wait a minute.

Walk away, and nobody touch that body.

- Touch it, I don't even wanna look at it.

- Not a word of this to the
guests, we must keep it quiet.

- Maid, you'd better leave
an extra sheet for Casey

to cover up the dead body.

- Dead body?

(screams)

- Oh!

That's enough, that's enough.

- Get her quiet, and don't touch a thing.

I'm gonna call the police.

(maid screaming)

- [Casey] Hello?

- What's the matter, what happened?

- There's been an accident.
- Is it serious?

- Murder.
- Murder!

(yelps)
(head slams)

- [Casey] Hello, Operator.

Get me Inspector Wellman.

- Why, it's Mr. Strickland.

- Jeff, take Betty to her room.

- [Casey] No, I don't wanna
speak to the sergeant,

I wanna speak to Wellman.

- That's awful.

He was such a nice man.

(sniffling)

Do you have a handkerchief?

- Yeah.

Uh-uh.

(crying)

(suspicious music)

- What happened?

- [] Strickland was murdered.

He's dead.

- [Casey] No, no, I don't
wanna speak to the sergeant,

I wanna speak to Inspector
Wellman and hurry it up.

(dramatic music)

- What's going on here?

- Hey.

- I caught this man trying to
make off with that briefcase.

I thought it might contain
important evidence.

- (chuckles) You caught me

trying to get away with this briefcase?

It was him, you fibber.

- How dare you call Mr. Brooks a thief?

Apologize at once, tell him you're sorry.

- Apologize?

Mr. Brooks,

I'm sorry you're a crook.

- Pig head.
- Ping.

- [Melton] Freddie.

- Mr. Melton.

Keep this as quiet as possible.

I'll put this in the safe.

- Hello.

Hello, Inspector Wellman?

This is Casey, Casey of
the Lost Caverns Hotel.

You'd better hop right over here,

looks like we've got
a murder on our hands.

Okay.

- Oh, Mr. Casey.
- Yeah?

- My name's Relia, I
checked in this morning.

- What can I do for you, Mr. Relia?

- I heard about the murder.

My gun disappeared from my
room a couple hours ago.

It's registered in my name.

And if it turns out to
be the murder weapon,

well, I just want the police to know.

- Have you any idea who took it?

- Well, it could've been a
maid, a waiter or a bellboy.

- Bellboy, that makes sense.

Bellboys carry pass keys.

- Right.

Could be a bellboy,

because I was a bellboy myself and I know.

I had a passkey, I could get
into every room in the place.

What am I sayin'?

- Casey, search him, he may
have Relia's gun on him.

(stammering)

- Now, listen, I mean--
- Quiet, quiet, quiet.

(patting)

- I don't know how I get in
the middle of all these things.

"Casey, search him," hmph.

(clicks)

(boings)

(snorts)

That's mine.

- Nothing on him.

- Mr. Smelton, or Melton,

you're not gonna implicate me
unless you get away with it.

- Casey, I heard him
threaten Mr. Strickland.

Don't let him out of your
sight until the police come.

- Troublemaker.

(door clicks)

(light switch clicks)

Casey, I'm worried.
- I know.

(door slams)

- You don't think I had
anything to do with it, do ya?

- No, no, but it looks
bad, Freddie, it looks bad.

- I know.

- Course, you have two
things in your favor.

Number one, they found
no bloodstains on ya.

(gasps)

Number two, the gun that killed
Strickland is still missing.

- [Freddie] That I'm very happy for.

- Yeah, but on the other
side of the ledger,

all the evidence points to you.

You were seen fighting with him,

then you lost your job.
- Yeah.

- Course, that supplies the motive.

- Sure.

- Then you were heard threatening him,

and you were seen coming out of his room.

What are you doing?

(stammering)

- Gotta take to laundry.

- Laundry, to the laundry?

- Yeah.

- Wait a minute, come here, just a minute.

(gun thuds)

Hey, where'd you get that gun?

- I don't know.

- Freddie, for the last time,

I'm going to ask you
where'd you get that gun?

- I don't know.

- Where'd you get that gun?

- That's not fair, you
said for the last time,

I answered it.
- Now, look Freddie--

- You're using unfair tactics.

- I'm trying to help you out.

There's no doubt this
what this is Relia's gun

and there's now doubt what
they planted it in here.

We've gotta get it back to his
room before the police come,

otherwise, you're a dead duck.

- Now, why would anybody
want to put a thing like that

in here for?

- When we find that out,
we'll find the culprit.

- Who's the culprit?

- The culprit and the
murderer are the same.

- Oh, they are?

- Come on, come on, shake a leg.

(suspenseful music)

(door clicks)

Duck, duck.

(suspenseful music)

Something sneaky about that dame.

- I think you're right,
I'm gonna question her.

She went that way, over the other way.

- Now, don't forget, if he's in here,

just pretend we've made a mistake, shh.

(knocking)

(knocking)

Just stop.

(keys jingling)

(key clicking)

Ah, the wrong key.
- Try this one.

- What?

Where'd you get that?

- Red.
- Red who?

- Red Skelton, it's a Skelton key.

- Skelton.
- Opens up any door.

(lock clicks)
(door clicks)

- Come on.

(whistles) Hey.

- This guy is certainly
a messy housekeeper.

- This place has been searched.

I wonder if it coulda been that dame

we saw down the hall.

- Whoever it was did a thorough job.

- I'll say they did.

- Look, let's plant the
gun here and get out.

- Hey, wait a minute.

This is a telegram to Michael Relia.

Get a load of this:

"I'm including your case in my memoirs.

"Imperative you be at the Lost
Caverns Hotel this weekend.

"Signed, Amos Strickland."

You know, this could
tie in with the murder.

I'm gonna check on this Relia.

You go see if the coast is clear,

I'll plant this gun in one
of his suits in the closet.

(ominous music)

- Oh.

- You didn't see me.

(eerie music)

You didn't see me.

You didn't see me.

I wasn't here.

- Okay, I planted the gun.

Come on, let's go.

Come, what's the matter with you?

- I didn't see him.
- You didn't see who?

- The man who wasn't here.
- What man?

- All I did was open up the door,

see if the coast was clear.

My mind went blank.

- Your mind's been blank all your life.

Come on, close the door.

I said come, come on.

- I didn't see him.

(ominous music)

- I'll have a coroner's
report on Strickland

the first thing in the
morning for you, Inspector.

- That'll be fine, Doc.

Now, let's see, where were we, Milford?

You said you've been
Strickland's secretary

for nearly 20 years.

- Over 20 years.

- Know any enemies he had?

- Oh naturally, Inspector Wellman,

a big criminal lawyer is
bound to make some enemies.

But I don't know of anyone who
would've resorted to murder.

- You're wasting your time, Inspector,

you've got the murderer,
Phillips, the bellboy.

- Mr. Melton, if you don't mind,

I'll handle this case in my own way.

- Sergeant, bring that bellboy in.

- Okay, Phillips, the Inspector wants you.

- Now, be firm.

- You just leave 'em to me,
I can handle this two guys.

- Atta boy.

- You can go, Melton.

- Okay, Phillips.

- I didn't do it, I tell ya.

Inspector, I didn't do it.

Please, please, Inspector, I
didn't do it, don't hit me.

Don't hit me, don't twist
my arm, don't twist my arm.

I'm innocent, I tell ya, I'm innocent.

Don't hit me on the
head with a rubber hose.

Don't hit me on the
head with a rubber hose.

Please don't, what,

don't hit me on the
head with a rubber hose.

- Wait a minute, shut up.

- What?

- The man didn't touch you
with his little finger.

- What kind of third degree is this?

- I don't give third degrees.

- Stingy.
- All right.

- What's the matter with that guy, Casey?

- Oh, Inspector, he's been
that way all his life.

He's too dumb to commit a murder.

- But I don't understand,

why is he always hollerin'
about rubber hoses?

- [Freddie] Casey, show him the telegram.

- What telegram, are you
withholding evidence?

- Oh no, no, no, Inspector.

I was going to give you this.

We found this in Relia's room.

- I'll look this over later.

In the meantime, I'm releasing
this bellhop in your custody.

He's not to leave this hotel.

- Oh, but I got to, Mr.
Melton said I have to get out.

- You'll remain as a guest of the state.

- A guest?
- That's right.

- They pay for everything?

- (chuckles) Inspector,
if you get a chance,

come up and see me sometime.

Thank you, goodbye.

(Freddie humming)

Oh, excuse me.

(pleasant, cheerful music)

(yawns)

(phone ringing)

Oh, oh, just a moment,
dear, it's all right.

Will you bring the
phone over here, please?

Hello.

Yes.

Of course.

I'd be delighted.

Thank you.

We're gonna have a guest.

Casey, I want you to order me
pheasant on the half shell.

Also order me crepes tied around Suzette,

and my special order of caviar
with bologna on the side.

- Now look, Freddie, I know
you're a guest of the state,

but don't you think you're
carrying this thing too far?

- After all, California's a big state.

If it was Rhode Island, it'd be different.

- $8.55, Mr. Phillips.
- Can you spell California?

- Certainly.
- Sign the check, please.

- If you please.

- And put a big tip on for everybody.

- Oh, thank you very much.

- You're welcome, you're welcome,

you're welcome, you're welcome.

Goodbye now, see you tomorrow.

(door clicks)

(chuckles)

- You won't be here tomorrow.

- Yes, I will.

- Wait'll Inspector
Wellman sees the report

I have on Michael Relia.

You will be just an ordinary
little bellhop again.

- I don't intend to be a bellhop anymore.

- Mm-hmm.

- Furthermore, I have a
date with Angela Gordon.

- I--
- Ha, ha.

- You mean to tell me

that good-lookin' dame
made a date with you?

- Yes.
- I don't believe it.

(knocking)

- Angela, my Angela.

(chuckles) Please.

Ah, come in, darling.

- Darling?

Here's your suit.

- Angela, huh? (chuckles)

- Angela.

- Oh, am I intruding?

- No, but he is.

(romantic music)

Hmm-hmm.

(whimpers)

Angela.

- Won't you sit down, Freddie?

- I think so.

Over there? (chuckles)

Sit down?
- Please.

(whimpers)

- Gee, you're pretty.

- I bet you say that to all the girls.

- Yes, it don't go over
so good with the boys.

- (chuckles) You're sweet.

And to think that they suspect
you of murdering Strickland.

It's ridiculous.

- Yes, and if they ever
give me the gas chamber,

they're hangin' the wrong man,

and they'll be sorry.

- Have you any idea who
the real murderer is?

- Yes.

- Who?

- The culprit.

- But who is the culprit?

Well?
- The murderer.

Casey has a full report on him.

He has to find out only one thing

before he can put him in jail.

- What's that?
- If he did it.

- If who did it?
- The culprit.

- Who is the culprit?
- The murderer.

Don't you understand?

- Freddie, if you could prove
who did it, you'll be a hero,

and I just adore heroes.

(chuckles)

Why don't you get him
to sign a confession?

- Get who to sign a confession?

- The murderer.
- Who's the murderer?

- The culprit, don't you understand?

- Yes, yes, I do.

If I get the murderer
to sign a confession,

that will prove that I'm innocent.

Why couldn't I think
of something like that?

Ooh, if I only had a pencil and paper,

I would, you know what I would do if?

Thank you.

- I'll dictate, you write.

- Hmm-hmm.

Start.

- I hereby confess.

- You did it?
- Oh, no, Freddie.

Write.

(whimpers)

I hereby confess

to the murder of Amos Strickland.

Now sign it.

- Me sign it?

- Certainly, you are the witness.

Then when the real murderer signs it,

everyone will know who got
the confession out of him.

- Huh.

Yeah, that's right.

Freddie Phillips.

Pretty good.

Boy, will Casey be proud of me.

- Oh, don't tell Casey,
we'll keep it a secret.

- Okay.

(knocking)

Excuse me, there's someone at the door.

Ah.

For me?

- I took the liberty of ordering this.

That'll be all.
- Yes, ma'am.

- I thought it might be fun
to have a little champagne.

- Gee, I never thought
I'd live a life like this.

- I've got a report on every one of ya,

thanks to Mr. Strickland's secretary.

Now, you've all had enough
experience with the law

to know that the sooner
you start cooperating,

the sooner we'll get this case over with.

Okay, who's gonna speak up?

Nobody, huh?

- Inspector, I've gotta
talk to ya right away.

Inspector, I've cracked
this case wide open,

I've got the murderer for ya: Mike Relia.

- Maybe that's why we can't find him.

You got any proof?

- Sure, I sent his fingerprints
down to headquarters,

and I've got the complete report.

You know, he was defended on a murder rap

by Strickland in 1940.

- Old stuff, Casey, we know all that.

- Wait a minute,

it matches in with the
telegram he received,

that's your motive.

- Sure, except for one thing.

Outside of the girl,

everyone in that room
received a similar telegram.

And they've all got just as
much to lose as Mike Relia.

- Crandall too?
- Crandall too.

Sorry, Casey, keep on tryin'.

- Sergeant, send Mike Relia
and Miss Gordon in here.

- I've got two men looking for 'em now.

- Not Angela Gordon.

- Yep, she was once tried

for feeding her husband
champagne cocktails.

Two jiggers of champagne
to one jigger of poison.

- Holy smokes, she's up in Freddie's room.

I saw the champagne wagon headed that way.

They're having cocktails right now.

- What?

- There's a poison antidote
in the doctor's office.

- Let's go.

(frantic music)

- I'm hurt, Freddie.

I mixed one of my special
champagne cocktails just for you

and you won't even taste it.

- I have a confession to make.

- You did it?
- No!

I mean that stuff, I
never drink that stuff.

That's like drinking poison.

- Oh, just one teensy-weensy sip.

(chuckles)

- Oh.

Oh, stop it, the bubbles
is ticklin' my nose.

- For little Angela.

- I wouldn't drink it for big Angela.

Cut it out, will ya?

And stop pressure--
- Oh, drink it.

- Give me that glass, I've
had enough of this, Angela.

- There you are, Inspector,
see, just as I told ya.

- And he drank some.
- The antidote.

- Wait, wait, wait.
- Get him outta here.

- What's goin' on here?
- Quiet.

- I got a date with a girl.

- What is that?
- Mustard and milk.

- Mustard and milk.
- Mustard and milk?

- Come on.
- I got a girl over here.

- This is an outrage.

- I told them who you are, Miss Gordon,

you can stop pretending.

- Why, you.

- I also gave the Inspector

the background on your playmates,

including that fake swami from Brooklyn.

(door clicks)

- What else have you got?

- Flour and water.
- Swell.

- What are you doing to me?

- Quiet, quiet.
- I gotta--

- Hey.

- I'll give you the head--
- Save your strength.

- When are you gonna start
cooperating with us, Miss Gordon?

- Inspector, I'll do anything you say,

but please don't let my name
get into the newspapers,

I'm engaged to be married
and it would wreck my life.

- What else have you got?

- Sweet oil and lime.

- Swell, all right--
- Casey, Casey.

- Take it easy, Freddie.
- I'll take care of ya.

- Who killed Strickland, Miss Gordon?

- I don't know, Inspector.

Please believe me, if I knew
anything at all, I'd tell you.

(door clicks)

- What else you got?
- Atropin and belladonna.

- Casey, Casey.

- Oh, get in there, get in there.

- I'll tell you, Inspector,
there's nothing in that drink.

- We'll find out soon enough.

In the meantime, I'm holding you.

- I've tried everything,
given him everything.

Nothing happened.

(whimpering)

See?

(whimpering)

Casey, what are you doin' to me?

- Sorry about the rough
treatment, Freddie,

but that champagne cocktail
might've been poisoned.

- Poison, poison, poison?

Are you tryin' to tell me that, oh.

What are you, oh, oh.

I didn't even drink the stuff.

- Well, why didn't you tell me?

- Every time I opened my mouth,

you kept pouring something down it.

Oh, oh.

- What good is this confession

if that bellboy is still around?

- [Melton] You've let us down, Angela.

- We were all rather surprised

when the police found there
was nothing in the drink.

- Why, you don't think
I intended to kill him.

I just wanted to get him drunk

and put him on the slow boat
to Shanghai or someplace.

- Not permanent enough,
my dear, he'd come back.

- If Mike Relia hadn't left,

he'd know how to get us
out of this situation.

- Well, I've done my part,
I got the confession.

- I suppose it's up to me.

This bellboy will commit suicide tonight

and this will be found beside the body.

- Suicide?

- I have ways.

(eerie music)

You are in a deep sleep, a sound sleep.

You hear nothing but
the sound of my voice.

You will do as I say, you
will obey without question.

Open your eyes.

Freddie, your future is black.

A terrible fate awaits you,
you have nothing to live for.

But you have one escape.
- Escape.

- [Swami] Yes, eternal sleep.

The sleep that brings peace.

The sleep that goes on forever.

- I may as well be dead.

- [Swami] That's right, Freddie.

Stand up.

- Stand up?

- Obey me, do as I say.

(ominous music)

Now walk.

Stand on the foot of the bed.

Put the noose around your neck.

Now, when I count three,

jump.

One.

Two.

Three.

(ceiling cracking)

(crashes)

Sit up, Freddie.

Stand up on the floor.

Take the noose from 'round your neck.

We'll have to try something else.

Freddie, do you have a gun?

Then get it.

(suspenseful music)

(bangs)

Do you have the gun, Freddie?

Then don't delay.

Put it to your head and use it.

(spraying)

No, no, no.

(spray gun thuds)

Maybe you'd like to select your own means

of self-destruction.

How would you like to die?

- Old age.

(ominous music)

(scheming music)

- Freddie.

Come to the window.

Climb up on the sill.

Now then, Freddie, jump.

(dramatic music)

Not into the room, out of the window.

Now climb up again.

(ominous music)

You're going to commit suicide

if it's the last thing you do.

(intense music)

Now then,

take this knife.

Use it.

Freddie.

Listen to me.

You will do as I tell you.

You will obey me without question.

Freddie, I want you to take this knife

and plunge it into your heart.

Do as I say.

Amazing, even under hypnosis

the will of an idiot to cling to life.

Freddie, would you plunge this knife

into the heart of the man in the mirror?

Good.

Then take the knife.

Plunge it into the heart
of the man in the mirror.

(dramatic music)

No, no!

No, Freddie, not me.

Not me, you fool.

The man in the mirror.

Freddie, obey me.

(knocking)

- The man in the mirror.

Hey!
- Freddie.

Freddie, Freddie, Freddie.

(snaps) Freddie, wake up, what is this?

Gimme that knife.

What's the idea of chasing
me around with a knife?

- How could be chasing
you, Casey, I'm in bed.

- Get in.

- Wait a minute.

What am I doin', I must be sleepwalkin'.

- What's the meaning of this?

- I must've walked on the ceiling too.

Hmm-hmm.

Casey, what a dream I had.

- Never mind your dream.

Relia's run out,

and we've gotta find
him and make him talk.

Now, put on your clothes
while I wash my hands.

Hurry up.

(door clicks)

(whistles)

- How'd I ever make it up there?

I must've come up this way,

up this side wall and
guess walked over that way.

Probably got chewing gum on my feet.

(dramatic music)

Hi.

(unsettling music)

Casey.

Casey, Casey!

- What's the matter?

What's the matter, what's this all about?

What are you do.
- Casey.

- What are you trying to say?

Get out of the way.

It's Mike Relia.

He's dead.

He's been stabbed.

Now, you didn't do this while
you were sleepwalking, did ya?

- I wouldn't kill anybody, you know that.

- I know it, but do the cops know it?

They find this out, it'll
be curtains for you, boy.

We've gotta get this body
back into its own room.

- What'll we do?
- Yeah, what'll we do?

- Yeah, what'll we do?

- I'll get a laundry cart,

you get that body out of there.

(stammering)

Well, come on, get some life into it.

- Don't you think that's
askin' a little too much?

(scoffs)

(scoffs)

(dramatic music)

(whimpers)

- Come on, Freddie,

we've gotta get this
body back to its room.

- [Freddie] I still don't know why

I can't wear my brown suit.

- Oh, that's so nobody'll recognize you

when you're pushing this
cart down the corridor.

Now, come on, make it snappy.

Come on.

Come on, Freddie, let's
get rid of this body.

Come on, come.

Freddie.

Freddie, where are ya now?

Freddie.
- Here I am.

- Come on.

(giggles)

- How am I? (whistles)

(lively music)

- Oh, hello Casey.
- Hello, Inspector.

- Maid, would you get
me an extra bath towel?

- I'd be delighted, yes.

- Get a bath towel for the inspector.

By the way, any news on
the murder, Inspector?

- I'm expecting a phone call from Stone

that'll pin it on that bellboy.

You're keepin' an eye on him, aren't you?

- Yes, everything's in hand.

I say, everything's in hand.

- Hurry up with that towel.

- The dumbest maid we have in the hotel.

I've been speaking to the boss

in regards to firing her several times,

but nothing happens.

- Maybe she knows where the body's buried.

- I don't know.

- [Freddie] Here's your towel.

- Thank you.

- [Freddie] You're welcome.

- My phone.

- Come on, come on, push.

(suspenseful music)

- Hey, shall we dump him in bed?

- Oh, certainly not, let's
put him in the closet.

Let somebody else find him.

- Closet.

- Open it up, hurry, put the light on.

Thatta boy.

Come on, push it in.

(anxious music)

Atta boy, put him right up
on the shelf here, will ya.

I'll get the sheet off him.

Take it easy.

(both grunting)

Chin up.

(both grunting)

Give me a hand over here.

Get it, quick.

All right, come on, let's get outta here.

Come on, hurry up.

Turn out that light.

(dramatic music)

Come on.

Wait a minute.

If they find that cart in there,

Wellman might tie this up to you.

Go get the cart.
- Go get the cart.

- Go get the cart.
- Go get the cart.

- [Casey] Hurry up, hurry up, hurry up.

Come on, come on.
- That's all I do.

- [Casey] Go get the cart.

- It's all I do is all the work.

- Come on, come on.

Come on, hurry up.

Get it out there.

(light switch clicks)

(door clicks)

(suspenseful music)

Come on, make it snappy.

Move it right in here.
- Okay.

- Before somebody comes
along and catches us.

That's right, get rid of it.

Hey, put it right in there.

- Push it, push it.

Hurry up, hurry up.

- Close the door, close the door.

- That's a load off my mind.
- Oh boy, and how.

Come on, so, are you excited?

- on boy.

(chuckles) Am I glad that's over with.

- I want to thank you for everything.

- You know, we were in a mess
there for a couple minutes.

- Yes.

- Now, get right out of
that disguise, and hurry up.

Here, I'm tired out, I'm
gonna lie down for a while.

Take care of these things
and don't disturb me.

(dramatic music)

(unsettling music)

- Casey!

- Didn't I tell you not to disturb me?

And you haven't hung
up my hat and coat yet.

What's the matter with you?

I can't depend on you at all anymore.

(dramatic music)

No, no!

(anxious music)

Where's the cart, where's the cart?

- Right there.
- Oh.

- Scared you, didn't it?

- Mm-hmm, I'll confess.

- You did it?
- Oh, certainly not.

Ya big dope.

It's Milford, Strickland's secretary.

- What's he hangin' around here for?

- He's dead, ya dope.

We've gotta get this body out of here,

get the cart ready.
- Okay.

(dramatic music)

(yells)

What's the matter now?
- Right there.

- It's Relia.

Hey, wait a minute, we just
left him down in his room.

There's something funny going on here.

- Uh-huh.
- Dead men can't walk.

- This one did.

He did, he did.

- What are we going to do now?

- I don't know.

- We can't go back to Relia's room.

- No.

- We might bump into the Inspector again.

- Yeah.

I got an idea.
- What?

- We can take 'em both
down to the card room,

there's nobody playin' cards

at this hour of the night.

We take 'em down there and dump 'em off.

- Good idea, kid, good idea.

Come on, give me a hand with this body.

- Casey.
- What?

- Maybe they don't play cards.

- Maybe they don't, will
you talk sense, please?

Get these bodies out of here.

Come on.

(suspenseful music)

- Oh, oh maid.

Say, you're new here, aren't you?

- Yes, it's my first night.

- Well, you certainly must have been busy.

- Mmm.

- Look at all this laundry.

- Don't do that, don't do that, you.

- Say, you know something?

You're kinda cute.

(giggles)

(giggles)

Look, why don't you let
your work go for a while

and stay down here and keep me company.

Things have been awfully
dead around here tonight.

- Much deader than you think.

(chuckles)

- Oh, you.

- Oh no, you don't, now.

Don't do it.

(chuckles)

Hey.

(wheezes)

(chuckles)

- What's going on here?

- It's getting so

that a poor working
girl isn't safe anymore.

(phone ringing)

- Oh, excuse me, the desk phone.

- Come on, let's get outta here.

(suspenseful music)

Come on now, get rid of these bodies.

- Okay, I'll get 'em out.

- What are you talking that way for?

- I don't know, I'm all mixed-up.

- Get rid of the bodies.

- Who?

Freddie Phillips, the bellboy?

No, Inspector Wellman, I haven't seen him.

No, sir, nobody's left the hotel tonight.

Casey?

Oh yes, he's down here now.

Oh, you'll be down, okay.

- Let's get out of here.

Uh-oh, here comes Abernathy.

Come on, get rid of that.

(anxious, suspenseful music)

(flirtatious music)

(anxious, suspenseful music)

There's nothing like a nice,
sociable game of bridge.

- Oh, I love bridge.

- Bridge?

With two open hands?

- Oh, we're playing with two dummies.

Mm-hmm.

- Hold on, there's a card on
the floor, his hand's dead.

- They're both dead.

Oh no, you don't, no, that's peeking.

Oh, he's always cheating.

- Have you got a match?
- Mm-hmm.

- Here's a match.

Here, here.

- Who got the bid?

- She did.

- What'd she bid?
- Grand slam.

- [Abernathy] You bid a
grand slam on that hand?

- [Freddie] Yes.

- You know what?

- What?

- You're going to get murdered.

(comical music)

Excuse me.

You oughta have me for a partner,

the one you've gots a stiff.

I’m sorry,

I didn't mean to get you
all excited that way.

Really, I didn't.

You know I wouldn't do that
for the world, don't you?

You know that.

- Get your hand off me.

Get your hand off me!

I am partially engaged.

Now, you leave me alone!

No more.

(comical music)

No, what's the matter?

(whimpering)

I wanna talk to you, come here.

(frantic, comical music)

You're so strong.

Now that you dragged me out here,

what do you want?

- (chuckles) How 'bout a little smack?

- Hmm?

- You know, just a little smack.

- Mm-hmm.

Hm.

(Abernathy chuckles)

(Freddie giggles)

(distant bangs)

- What happened?

- Well, he asked for a
smack, so I gave it to him.

- Get that wagon outta
here, change those clothes,

I'll go out and see if the coast is clear.

- Okay.

Sorry, fellas, but you'll
have to play two-handed.

- Here comes Wellman and Stone.

- Casey, I been lookin' for you.

Where's that bellboy?

- What bellboy?
- Freddie.

- Oh, Freddie, I know, Freddie
Kitzmeyer from Philadelphia.

Now there's a regular kid.

- I mean Freddie Phillips.

- Freddie Phillips?

You mean that little,
round, chubby sort of,

with the black hair?
- That's right.

- The bellhop?

(laughing) He was fired.

- I know he was fired.

What are you tryin' to pull?

- No, no, no, no, no, no.

- For a minute, I thought you
were tryin' to hide somethin'.

- Who, me?
- Yeah, you.

Where's Phillips?

- I wish I knew.

- What a detective.

I told you not to let
Phillips out of your sight.

Well, he's too fat to slip
down a rat hole, where is he?

- Now Inspector, I've told
you 10 times, I don't know.

Maybe he's up in his room.

- No, we stopped there
on our way down here.

- Stone, phone headquarters,
tell 'em to get a dragnet out.

(suspenseful music)

(choking)

- Hey, you.
- Yes?

Yes!

- You and I are gonna have a little talk.

- I agree with you,

let's talk over here some place where I,

(grunts) we'll talk right here.

- Let's go upstairs,
it's more comfortable.

- I don't wanna go upstairs,
my room's a mess up there.

- All right, Phillips, what
do you know about the murder?

- Which one, there was three of 'em.

Three of 'em, there was a papa bear,

a mama bear and a teeny--

- [Stone] Never mind the fairy tales.

Why did you kill Strickland?

- I didn't kill him.

- I told you boys that
before, he's too dumb.

- Yeah, well, what do you call this?

- Could be ashes.

- Right, we found it in this guy's room.

Had it analyzed, it's the
remains of a linen handkerchief.

- Well now, a burned handkerchief
can't prove anything.

- It does when our tests proved

that it had blood stains on it.

- I burned it.

- Oh, so you admit it?

- Oh no, you see, Mr.
Strickland, he was in the room,

he was layin' there dead.

I don't know anything like that.

I saw the handkerchief right over there.

(stammering)

- Wait a minute.

- I had the handkerchief in my hand.

- Why didn't you tell me this before?

- I ain't got any sense.

I thought maybe everybody'd
think I was the murderer.

- A handkerchief.
- Yeah, the handkerchief.

- Might have had a monogram
on it or a laundry mark.

- Yeah, it could've.

- That one piece of evidence

could have led us to the murderer.

- I think it has.

- You stop looking at me.

- Don't jump at conclusions, Sergeant.

Let's go upstairs and
talk it over peacefully.

- No, no, now stop, no, stay here.

- Tell us one thing, Phillips.

Were you and Relia in cahoots?

- The last time I saw
Relia, he didn't talk to me.

- Could only find Relia,
I could make him talk.

- If you could, it'd be a good trick.

- [Stone] He can make him
talk, you don't know Wellman.

- You don't know Relia.

- [Stone] Quit stallin',

I think he's hiding upstairs in your room.

- There's nobody there.
- Let's go up and find out.

— Might be a good idea,
let's ride up and find out.

- I'm done, I'm done.

- [Wellman] Are you coming with me?

- I'm comin'.

(weeping)

I'm such a young boy, too.

(woman screaming)

(frantic music)

(nervous laughing)

Hey fellas, you can come up now.

- Come on, stick with me.

(screaming)

(maid whimpering)

- Blood.

(screaming)

- Take it easy, lady,
pull yourself together.

What happened?

- I've been trying to
get in here all evening,

but no one answered.

So, I finally let myself
in and then I saw that.

- Whose room is this?
- Mr. Milford.

- Strickland's secretary, huh?

This case is gettin'
screwier every minute.

You go to your room, I'll
call you if I need you.

Any of you people seen Mr. Milford

in the last few hours?

- I was in the lobby quite
late, I didn't see him go out.

- Okay, we'll start with you, Swami.

What are you doing fully
dressed at this hour?

- Just a little game of
cards with Mr. Brooks.

- And you?
- I was the third hand.

- And naturally, you two were there?

- Naturally.
- Naturally.

- Oh, that makes it pretty
convenient, doesn't it?

One for all and all for one

as far as the alibis are concerned.

And you, Mr. Crandall?
- I couldn't sleep.

I went out for a walk.

- Do we take your word
or did somebody see you?

- I was with him.

- You people can go back to your rooms.

Not you, Phillips or Casey.

The rest of you stay here.

- What about me?
- You can go.

You too, Wilson.

- I'd like to remain, if I may, Inspector.

You see, the reputation
of the hotel is involved.

- Okay.

- Betty.

I don't get it.

Why didn't you want me to tell him

we were out on the terrace together?

- Please don't ask me, Jeff.

And thanks for not giving me away.

- Someone in this room knows a lot more

than he or she is admitting,

and I intend to find out who it is.

- Are you making an accusation, Inspector?

- Maybe.

You all had a motive
for killing Strickland,

to prevent his memoirs
from being published.

Last night he was murdered.

Tonight, his secretary disappears.

Maybe he's still alive, maybe he isn't.

- He isn't.

- How do you know?

- Because, I mean (coughing),

'cause that spot on the carpet,

that ain't ketchup there.

- Well, it could mean that
Milford has been murdered.

On the other hand, it
might be a red herring.

- Oh no, that's not red herring,

that looks more like borscht.

- You don't have to waste
any more time, Inspector.

You've got your murderer.

- I thought so too, Mr. Melton,

but Phillips has come up
with an airtight alibi.

- Thanks, Inspector.

Did you hear that, Casey?

I got an airtight alibi.

- I'm going to locate Milford and Relia

if I have to take this hotel
apart with my own hands.

Nobody leaves this hotel
without my permission.

You can all go now.

Not you, Casey.

- Oh, not you, Casey, huh?

I'm sorry you're one of the suspects.

I'll do everything I can
to get you out, though.

- Phillips, I want to talk to you.

- Me?
- Yeah.

You're in this thing up to your neck,

but there was something phony

about that bunch of creeps bein'
fully dressed at this hour,

so I'm gonna give you one
more chance to clear yourself.

- Now look, I'm getting sick and tired

of everybody accusing me of murder.

You could be the murderer, yourself.

What are you trying to do, get away?

- Shut up!
- Casey, Casey!

- Now, take it easy.
- You promised.

- Now listen to me.
- Talk to him, Casey.

- As long as Phillips was under suspicion,

the real killer, if he
wasn't Phillips, felt safe.

But now he's gonna be pretty anxious

to get that handkerchief back.

So, Phillips, you're
gonna put the handkerchief

up for sale.

- Who's gonna buy a lot of ashes?

- Nobody but us knows that you burned it.

- Hey, I get it, I get it.

- I get it too.

- The one that buys the handkerchief

is the murderer.
- Exactly.

- Oh.

- So spread the word around
that you've got the handkerchief

and that you'll sell it
for, say about $5,000.

- Sure.

- And don't try to blow in the meantime.

- You sure you're smart
enough to handle this?

- Him?
- I'm plenty smart.

I'm going up to my hotel room right now,

figure the whole thing out.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

- Where's your hotel key?

- In my pocket, where I.
- Is that so?

- I had it.

- Here it is.
- Oh.

- (chuckles) I didn't get
this for nothing, you know.

- Here it is.

- Hey, come on.

Where'd you ditch the bodies?

- In the elevator.
- In the elevator?

- In the elevator.
- Come on.

(eerie, dramatic music)

We gotta get rid of those bodies.

- Not that one, this one over here.

- There's no bodies in there.

- That's what I'm trying to tell you,

some dirty crook stole 'em.

- Well, at least we're rid of 'em.

Now we've got to find someone

who's willing to pay $5,000
for that handkerchief.

- Now, wait a minute, Casey.

Suppose the murderer hasn't got the money?

- Well then, they're apt to
murder you to get it back.

Either way, they'll show their hand.

- Well, if they murder
me, I'm apt to be killed.

- That's right.

But at least you've proven your innocence.

- That's true.
- Sure.

- One way or another, I can't lose.

- That's right.
- Ain't I a lucky stiff?

Lucky stiff, I should've
never left Paterson.

- Come on, let's go upstairs.

- I tell you, I don't need a handkerchief.

I have plenty.

- But I'll let you have this
handkerchief very cheap,

only $5,000.

- $5,000, you're insane.

- Oh, but it's such a
beautiful handkerchief.

It's really nothing to sneeze at.

- Neither is $5,000.

- Oh please, please buy the handkerchief.

If you do, I'll let
you have it very cheap,

I'll let you on the easy payment plan,

$3500 down and small monthly payments.

15 months.
- No.

- 18 months.
- No.

- 21 months is as far as I can go.

- No.
- No.

Ay, yi (singing in foreign language).

- How'd you make out?
- Oh, no good.

Listen, nobody wants to
buy that handkerchief.

It's cheaper to kill me.

- I wish they'd quit stallin'
and get around to it.

(pot smashes)
(Freddie yelps)

- They're getting around to it, all right.

- Oh look, it's only a kitten.

(meows)

- Bet somebody's puttin' him up to it.

- Better luck next time.

(arrow thunks)

- Now they got the Indians after me.

- Hey paleface, give me my arrow.

(grunting)

- You.

(grunting)

- Another false alarm.

I wish somebody'd do something to you,

I'm becoming a nervous wreck.

- Disgusting, isn't it?

- Have you talked to everybody
about that handkerchief?

- Everybody but Mr. Brooks.

- Brooks, I just saw him
going in the health club.

Say, Freddie, this is your last bet.

If he's the killer, you'll be vindicated.

- If he's the killer,

I'll be perforated, assassinated,

exterminated and marinated.

Well, that's that.

- Just a little longer, Mr. Brooks.

- All right.

(steam hissing)

- Right here, Freddie.

- This my stall?
- That's right.

- Hello, Mr. Brooks.
- Hello.

- Takin' a steam bath, huh?

- Naturally.

- You know, for a steam
bath to do you any good,

you gotta stay in here
at least 10 minutes.

You gotta find something
to do while you're here.

Wanna play cards?

Mr. Brooks, do you catch many colds?

- No, why?

- Psst-psst, I got a handkerchief
I'd like to sell you.

Cheap.

$5,000.

- Why, that's ridiculous.

- Hmph.

- That's enough.

- You know, Mr. Brooks, the
way you're perspirin' now,

you could use that handkerchief.

It's a big one.

- I'll take my rubdown in my room, Bozzo.

- Okay, Mr. Brooks.

(Freddie chuckles)

I'll get you in a minute, Freddie.

- Okay, Mr. Bozzo.

Mr. Brooks!

Mr. Brooks!

I'd like to talk to
you for another minute.

Oh,

ho,

you.

Guy never gave me a
chance to cut my price.

He coulda chiseled me a little bit.

(chuckles) That's all.

(suspenseful music)

If you.

(intense, dramatic music)

(sputtering)

(steam hissing)

Casey!

- Inspector, I still say,

if you let me sweat that bellhop a little,

I'll get a confession out of him.

- Okay, if nobody falls
for the handkerchief gag,

he's all yours.

- There's still a chance
that Brooks is the killer.

- Freddie's working on him now.

- Well, you got until tonight to prove it.

There's a train goin'
outta here at nine o'clock,

and that bunch of creeps
are plannin' to take it.

- You're not gonna let 'em, are you?

- They know as much about the law as I do.

I've either gotta book 'em or let 'em go.

I haven't got a thing on 'em.

(woman screaming)

- Help, help!

The hotel's burning!

(screaming)

- [Stone] Hey, it's the health club.

- Freddie's in there, come on.

(intense, frantic music)

Freddie, Freddie.

- [Freddie] Hey Casey.

- [Casey] Freddie, where are you?

- [Freddie] Casey.

- Wait'll I turn off the steam.

(steam hissing)

- Get him out of there, quick.

(coughing)

(water bubbling)

(bottle gurgling)

- Whew.

How do you like that, somebody's
trying to cook my goose.

- What do you mean?

- I saw a hand come around the corner

and he put on a lot of steam.

A lot of steam, all the
steam he could put on.

Full force.

I think somebody's trying to kill me.

- Sounds phony to me.

- Yeah, maybe you're just tryin'

to divert suspicion for yourself.

You're not as dumb as you look.

- Get your hand off me.

Now, I've had enough of you, Inspector.

I don't want anymore of this from you.

After all, I'm a citizen
and I'm a taxpayer,

and it's my taxes that buys
you your gun and your badge.

And it's my taxes that also
pays you your salary every week.

You're workin' for me.

You're nothin' but a public servant.

- So what?

- Get me another bottle of water.

- Okay.

What!

- Well, the Inspector's not
foolin' with you anymore.

You heard what he said,

if nothing develops by
nine o'clock tonight,

he's gonna place a formal
charge of murder against you.

- Murder?

- So what, are you nervous?

- Murder?
- Gimme the key.

Absolutely.

- [Freddie] Wait a minute.

- [Casey] What's wrong?

- Stand back.

Get in, get in.

- What's the matter with you?

What in the world is that?

- It's a booby trap.
- What for?

- For boobs.

I'm not taking chances of
anyone sneakin' in here

and killin' me without me knowing it.

- Ah, ya big dope.

What's to prevent anybody from
coming in those French doors?

(chuckles)

(dramatic music)

- Ah.

It's pretty good, isn't it?

- That is the most ridiculous
thing I have ever seen.

- Is that so?
- Yeah.

- Well, let me tell you something,

if the murderer comes
in this room by himself,

somebody else is gonna carry him out.

- Why, you dirty double-crosser.

Here we've got it all arranged

to have somebody try and kill you,

and you're trying to prevent it.

Ya know.

Come here, come here.

Look at this,

I suppose you've got these
windows rigged up too?

- Oh, they can't hurt me here.

We're three stories up.

(gun firing)
(glass shattering)

- Boy, are you lucky.

Somebody's finally trying to
bump you off, congratulations.

Wait until the Inspector hears about this.

(chuckles)

Oh boy, oh boy.

Yeah, yeah, get me Inspector Wellman.

Oh, look at those bullet
holes, marvelous, wonderful.

- Casey, why is everybody so
happy I'm gonna be killed?

- (chuckles) Boy, are
they really after you.

(chuckles)

Oh, come, come, put a smile on your face.

(whimpering)

That's a boy.

Sure, enjoy life.

(nervous laughing)

That's it.

Go on, go in the other room and lie down.

Go in and rest.

Relax, go ahead.
- I will.

- Sure, go ahead.

(chuckles)
(whimpering)

That's swell.

(stammering)

What, he's not in his room?

Well, page him in the lobby.

- Everybody's so happy
I'm gonna get murdered.

I don't understand nothin'
about the whole thing.

Uh-oh.

Every time I open up one
of those closet doors,

I always find a dead body.

(knocking)

Is there anybody in there, hmm?

Ah.

(chuckles)

Ah.

(yawning)

Casey?

Casey.

I didn't hear you come in.

You're supposed to be out there

talkin' to Inspector Wellman.

Now, you know, people all around here,

they're all dyin' to kill me,

and here you come in resting.

Oh you, Casey.

You oughta be ashamed,
you oughta be embarrassed.

That's why you got your
face all covered up.

Now, come on.

Now, Casey, what was the
matter with the dark suit?

You look good in that one.

(dramatic, comical music)

- Fine.

What's the matter, what's
the matter, Freddie?

Freddie, what's wrong, what happened?

- Come in.
- Take it easy.

- I wanna show you something.

- Take it easy.
- There he is, over there.

- It's all right, so
you messed up the bed.

What about it, go and relax.

- No, he was here.

- Who?
- Milford.

Milford. (stammering)

- Now wait a minute, are
you trying to tell me

that Milford's body was
there and it's gone?

(stammers)

Take care of yourself, take it easy.

Go get yourself a drink of water.

Yeah, that'll fix you up, go ahead.

Take it easy, take it easy.

Don't get excited, go ahead.

(whistles)

(water running)

(gargling)

(dramatic, comical music)

Wait a minute, what's the matter now?

Now what?
- Milford.

- Where?

- Must be a leak in the tub.

- Oh, come here.

Keep quiet.

There's nobody in this suite.

Now, shut up.

Just to satisfy ya, I'll check.

You get on the phone

and see if the Inspector's on his way up.

Hurry up, go on.

- All right, all right.

That boy don't know what's goin' on here.

He don't know what's happening.

I know I saw it in there before.

And when I go back, it ain't there.

And I was in the other room over there,

I went in to gargle my throat,

(mimics gargling)

and I go down like that, I saw it.

I saw it was in the bathtub over there.

I know I'm not losin' that, I know that.

I could be havin' halluc,

with the nation, halluke-inations,

but I know I saw it.

Hello?

Hello.

(dramatic, comical music)

- What's a matter now?

What are you, what are?

- [Freddie] Come here.

- Come on, let me in on it, now what?

What?

Oh, no, no, not again.

You mean to tell me
that Milford was there?

- He was there.
- Oh.

Now, listen.

I am getting sick and tired
of this nonsense of yours.

- He was there.
- Don't tell me that.

Milford was there, Milford
was there, Milford was there.

How could he be, the man is dead.

- For a dead man, he's
sure gettin' around.

- Listen, I'm gonna prove
to you once and for all

that he's not here.

Is he there?

- No.

- Come here, come here, is he there?

- No.
- No.

Come here, come on.

All right.

Is he there?
- Yes.

- Milford!
- Cover it up.

- There's something strange goin' on here.

Somebody's tryin' to scare
you out of this room.

- I know who it is.
- Who?

- Him.

(knocking)

- That's the Inspector.

We've gotta get rid of him

before he finds this
body in here, come on.

Come on.

Hello Inspector, I'm sorry
to have bothered you,

but I found out it was all a mistake.

It was just his imagination.

- That's right, Inspector.

You see those three bullet
holes in the window?

That's only my imagination.

That's all.

- Where were you when
these shots were fired?

- I was sittin' right
here, but not for long.

(gasps)

- Mike Relia!

- Casey, do you think
I'm in the right room?

- Yes.

- Stone, go in the
bedroom and get a sheet.

- (yelps) Not in the
bedroom, not that one.

(stammering)

- Shut up.
- Sure.

(stammers)

- Shut up.
- Shut up.

- I ain't said nothin'.

- Well, Phillips, what
do you know about this?

- Oh, sure, sure.

(chuckles) What do you know about this?

- Quit stallin', now you
got two murders to explain.

- Better make it three, Inspector.

(wheezing)

- Milford.

- I pulled the spread
down and there he was.

- Freddie.

- No, Freddie couldn't
have done this, Inspector.

These bodies were planted here.

- That's right, this one was
planted over here, it was--

- Hey.

- Look, Inspector, I don't
understand the whole thing.

In the suite here, I
got every door locked,

you can't get in or out.

That whole room in there is
all laid with booby traps.

I'll prove it, come on,
I wanna show it to you.

Come on, everybody.

Look, Inspector.

- What in the world is that thing?

- Well sir, I'm gonna
show you how it works.

Look, you see, while I go
outside and leave my room,

as soon as I go outside,

I leave the door open just a little bit,

and I reach in with my
hand and I take this

and I put it on the doorknob
like that, you get it?

Now, if somebody should happen to come in,

the door opens up,

pulls this down like this,

this pulls this down and quaff,

hits you right on the head.

Then I got French doors over there,

but I got 'em all rigged up.

I'm not worried about these windows

because nobody can come
in, we're three flights up.

And that door over there,

that leads to Mr. Crandall's apartment.

And Mr. Crandall's a neat man,

he wouldn't leave any bodies lying around.

- I'm afraid he did this time.

Phillips is telling the truth.

I brought those bodies in here.

- Is that a confession, Crandall?

- Of course not,

my uncle had nothing
to do with the murders.

- Excuse me, Inspector.

Are you the guy that's
been playin' hide-and-seek

with Milford and me?

- I don't know what you're talking about.

I found the bodies in my room,
Inspector, I got panicky.

There was no other place,
I brought them here.

- How could you find
the bodies in your room?

I put 'em in the elevator.

- Zip it!

(yelps)

Now you put your foot in it.

- That's good enough for me.

Frederick Phillips, I
place you under arrest

for the charge of willful
and premeditated homicide.

Thank you, Mr. Crandall, Miss Crandall,

I may want to talk to you later.

- Fine, Inspector.

- Okay, Phillips, spill it.

- Why did you kill those three men?

- I didn't kill 'em.

I don't go around killin' people.

But all the evidence points to me.

Take me down.

- [Man] Freddie Phillips.

- What did you say, Inspector?

- That wasn't me.

- [Man] Freddie Phillips.

- Did you call me?

- [Man] Freddie Phillips.

Freddie Phillips.

- Hey, it's comin' from over here.

(whimpers)

- [Man] Freddie Phillips.

Did I scare you with the bodies?

- You sure did.
- Shh.

- [Man] Then listen carefully.

If you don't want to die,

come to the caverns at 7:30 tonight.

Bring the handkerchief.

I'll be on the west bank
of the bottomless pit.

Tell nobody and come alone.

Come alone, come alone.

- Persistent, isn't he?

- That's a phonograph record.

It's probably homemade, it's
coming from the basement.

Anyone recognize the voice?

- I don't know anybody who lives in there.

- Inspector, I think our
plan has finally worked out.

Freddie'll go to the caverns tonight

and he'll catch the murderer red-handed.

- Freddie, this is the last
chance to clear yourself.

- I'm not gonna go down to the caverns

all by myself, I'm afraid.

- Wait a minute.

Would you rather die a
hero or live like a rat?

Well?
- Get the cheese ready.

(whimpering)

(ominous music)

Casey, look.

It says do not enter.

Shucks, just when I was lookin'
forward to goin' in there.

Well, I guess that's that.

(door squeaking)

(whimpering)

(ominous music)

(whistles)

Mm, mm, mm.

- Freddie, you go ahead
alone, it's nearly 7:30.

- It's dark in here.

- Go ahead, we won't be far behind ya.

- And when you find the guy

that wants that handkerchief, yell.

- Go ahead, go ahead.

- Do I have to?

- [Men] Yes.

(eerie music)

(water bubbling)

(anxious music)

- Pardon me, are you the man

that wants to buy the handkerchief?

(owl hoots)

You.

(match strikes)

(screams)

(frantic music)

- Now, where could he
have gone so quickly?

(owl hoots)

Freddie, hey!

What is that?
- Oh, it's only an owl.

Let's find Freddie before
something happens to him.

Come on.

(ominous music)

Well, what do we do now?

Looks like the killer's outsmarted us.

- We've gotta get to Freddie.

There's another entrance
to the bottomless pit

about a half-mile down, come on.

Let's go down. (grunts)

(groans)

- What's the matter?

- I turned my ankle.

You'll have to go on without me, boys.

You can't miss it,

it's the first big turn to your left.

Go ahead, boys, I'm
going back to the hotel.

(eerie music)

(cracking)

(dramatic music)

- Casey!

Casey!

Casey!

- [Echo] Casey!

- Was that an echo?

- [Echo] Was that an echo?

(distorted humming)

(distorted humming)

(distorted humming)

(intense distorted humming)

(sputtering)

Inspector Wellman, Sergeant Stone, Casey,

are you still behind me?

- [Echo] Inspector Wellman,
Sergeant Stone, Casey,

are you still behind me?

(whimpering)

- I'm all alone.

- [Man] Oh no, you're not.

- Oh, yes.

(anxious music)

(yelping)

(intense music)

Hmm.

Wow.

That's the biggest thing I ever saw.

(airy flute music)

(footsteps clomping)

(match strikes)

(anxious, unsettling music)

"Beware of bottomless pit.

"If lost, do not wander around.

"Call for guide."

Mr. Guide.

Mr. Guide.

I'll sit here and wait for him.

(humming)

Oh, I wish the guy that
wanted that handkerchief

would come and take me outta here.

I don't like it here.

(suspicious music)

A movin' rock.

(water bubbling)

(whistles)

Hm.

(frenetic music)

(intense, dramatic music)

I gotta get another candle.

(match strikes)

Hmm.

(ominous music)

Come on.

It ain't gonna work, not that one.

(suspenseful music)

(sparkling)

Hey, hey.

(spitting)

(spits)

(spits)

Ah.

(spits)

Ah.

I'll get another candle.

(dynamite explodes)

(intense music)

Hey, mister.

Hey

(bear growls)

What happened?

(screams)

(frantic music)

(sputtering)

Whoa.

(yelping)

Whew.

(ominous music)

(whimpering)

(anxious music)

(whistles)

(intense, dramatic music)

- Careful, careful, I say.

Hang on.

Hang on, Freddie.

Get up here and I'll help you.

Come on.

A little closer.

- Take my hand.

- Give me the handkerchief
and I'll save your life.

- You save my life and I'll
give you the handkerchief.

- No.

- I'll (mumbles).

(intense, dramatic music)

(whimpering)

Whew.

This could've been serious.

Casey, oh Casey.

(intense, anxious music)

Wow.

Hoo-hoo.

(ominous music)

Oh, Casey!

Inspector Wellman!

(water rushing)

- Hang on.

Catch the rope.

- Throw it down, will ya?

Atta boy, good work.

Good work, if I can catch it.

Get.

(intense, anxious music)

Ay-yi .

Hey, get the rope a little closer!

Can ya get the rope a little closer!

Atta boy!

Oh, why do ya?

Why do ya keep on?

(anxious, suspenseful music)

Why don't you make up your mind!

Hey, I think my coat is caught.

Woo.

I did it, I, (stammering).

(whimpering)

Whoa.

(frantic music)

- [Man] Tie it around your waist.

- Yeah, yeah.

- Are you ready?

- Okay, okay, first floor.

(eerie, frenetic music)

- Freddie!

Freddie Phillips!

(intense, frenetic music)

(whimpers)

(intense, dramatic music)

(suspenseful music)

(frenetic music)

- Now, I'll have the handkerchief.

- I haven't got it.

But if you get me outta here,

I'll take you where it is.

It's in my room, I'll take you there.

- I'll find out where.

(suspenseful music)

- What are ya doin'?

What are ya doin'?

(ax thumping)
(water rushing)

What are ya doin'!

- In two minutes, the water
will be over your head.

(frenetic music)

- Casey!

Casey!

Casey!

Casey!

- Where are you, Phillips?

- I think it came from over there.

- Inspector Wellman!

(intense, frenetic music)

A fine way to end up, a drain plug.

(water rushing)

- He isn't in here.

- Look.

(frenetic music)

- Where's Casey?

- Nevermind Casey, did you
see who the killer was?

- The killer did it.

- Did you see who he was?

- No, he had a slicker on
and a mask on his face.

- What about the handkerchief?

- I told him it was in my bedroom.

- Come on, we've still
got a chance to nab him.

(suspenseful music)

Oh,

oh, ho, my trap, it worked.

I got him, I got him!

My trap got the killer.

Come on, get it up.

Ho, ho.

(laughs)

I knew it was gonna work.

Get that killer up.

Casey.

- You lunatic, why didn't you
tell me you reset that thing?

- I set that trap to catch the killer.

Oh, so you must be the killer.

- Nonsense.

- What are you doin' up here, anyway?

- My ankle hurt, I come up to lay down.

- That's a likely story.

You come up here to get the handkerchief.

- You're crazy.
- Is that so?

Well, it's all beginnin' to add up now.

Casey, you're tryin' to frame me.

You're the only guy who was
in the room here with me

when the body was being moved around.

- Shh.

- Not only that, I
wouldn't put it past you

if it wasn't your voice that
come outta the ventilator.

- Well you dope, you were
standing right alongside of me.

- So, you're a ventriloquist, huh?

- Look Freddie, don't talk
like that, I'm your friend.

- My friend?

You're tryin' to kill me.

Inspector, I demand that you
arrest this homicidal maniac.

(Casey stammers)

Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't.

There's nothin' I can do to help you now.

- Freddie, stop puttin' ideas
in the Inspector's head.

- He doesn't need to,

and I'm glad you're all here.

It saves the trouble
of me sendin' for you.

Come on in and sit down.

Sergeant.

- Casey's the murderer.
- Shh, quiet.

- Caught him red-handed all by myself.

No help whatsoever from the Inspector.

- Shh, quiet.
- I caught him.

Caught him all by myself.

Mr. Melton, the murderer.

- Will you stop that?

- I've known for some time why
Amos Strickland was killed:

to keep him from finding out

that his secretary Milford had
been blackmailing Crandall.

- Milford?
- Exactly.

Amos Strickland knew nothing about it.

When you phoned him that you
wouldn't pay another penny,

he came down here,

not to put the pressure on,

but to find out more about it.

But Milford couldn't
have killed Strickland,

he was 400 miles away.

So he must've been working
with somebody in this hotel,

someone who was a
partner in the blackmail.

- Casey, blackmailer.

Now I know how you can afford
to smoke them 20-cent cigars.

You killed Strickland so
he couldn't get to Crandall

who had the goods on you.

- Freddie.
- Ah, ah, ah.

- Freddie, you shouldn't talk like that.

After all, we're cousins.

We have the same blood in our veins.

- Yes, and I wanna keep mine.

(growls)
(whimpers)

- Milford knew Strickland
was going to be killed,

so he rounded up a few former clients

to have them on the scene

in order to throw suspicion
in many directions.

(Freddie yelps)

Please.

- What about the memoirs?

- They were a fake.

Milford invented them
to get you down here.

Strickland had no intention of retiring.

And any lawyer that would
publish a book like that

could never expect to get another client.

- Pretty cute, eh?

You and Milford?

I wanna tell you somethin',
I'm glad they caught you.

- Look Freddie, please, please.

- See that folks, you see that?

He's tryin' to choke me.
- Freddie!

- You see that, he don't
know his own strength.

- Freddie.

- Did you see it that time?

(mimics choking) Like that, ah.

- When Relia disappeared,

I suspected that he was
Milford's accomplice.

But when both Relia and
Milford were found dead,

I knew that I had to look someplace else.

- [Freddie] And you're lookin' at him now.

- Stop that.

- Freddie, believe me, I'm innocent.

- You're innocent?

You're innocent?

Well, let me tell you somethin'.

I forgot what I was
gonna say, you lucky boy.

- Why Relia was murdered is
one of the angles of this case

that still puzzles me.

- I have a theory, Inspector.

You remember the murderer stole
Relia's gun for the killing.

Well, perhaps Relia found out about it

and had to be put out of the way.

- A brilliant deduction, Mr. Melton.

- You're right, Inspector.

Yeah, it was Casey.

He put the gun in my room

so everybody would be suspicious of me.

- But Inspector Wellman,

why did the killer take the
bodies from the elevator

and leave them in my uncle's room?

- Well.
- That was very obvious.

- Oh, will you shut up.

- You tell it to her.

- When Phillips was no
longer under suspicion,

the killer hoped to make Mr.
Crandall number one suspect.

- See?

- [Betty] I'm glad that's cleared up.

- Me, too.

- Now at this point,

the killer's only remaining problem

was to recover the
incriminating handkerchief.

- The handkerchief!

That's it, Casey come in here
lookin' for the handkerchief

and he couldn't find it.

- [Melton] A very clever
deduction, Freddie.

- I think so.

- Except for one thing, Mr. Melton.

Casey was one of the few of us

that knew there was no handkerchief.

Phillips had burned it.

- Inspector, I found
what we were looking for.

- Thank you, Sergeant.

I have a confession to make.

- You did it?
- Oh, no, no, no.

I kept you here in order to to
give Sergeant Stone a chance

to go through your rooms and luggage.

Now, there's mineral mud in the caves,

so whoever was in there a few minutes ago

would have it on their shoes.

- All right, everybody,
get back against that wall.

Quick!

- Don't try anything,
Melton, you can't get away.

- I think I can.

- Are you going out that door?

- I am.
- A-ha, ha.

(bangs)

(dramatic music)

(smacks)

That's in case the big one didn't work.

Well, there he is, Inspector.

Get him outta here.

Well, now that I solved the murder,

I want all you folks to go
down to the Champagne Room

and have some lemonade, it's on me.

- Nice work, Freddie, you
can have your job back, too.

- Thank you, Mr. Crandall, thank you.

Casey, something I gotta tell you.

- What's that?

- Never once did I believe
you were the murderer.

- I knew it all the time.

- I was usin' you as a decoy.

- It's okay, kid.
- Okay, Casey.

- [Casey] See you downstairs.

- Nice fella.

- Freddie, I wanna congratulate you.

Without all those booby traps,

we could have never solved this murder.

- Thank you ever so much.

I'm gonna make a change now,

I wanna get out of these wet clothes.

- Sure.

(bangs)
(Wellman yelps)

(comical music)

- Yee.

(ominous music)

This one, I completely forgot about.

(epic music)

(lively music)