All language subtitles for 1 1 Real.Time.with.Bill.Maher.S24E12.480p

Start the clock.

Thank you, people.

Great to see you.

Thank you so much. I appreciate it.

All right, please.

Thank you so much. I know you're so glad
you're in a good

mood. Thank you very much. Thank you. I
know why you're happy today.

Because Trump said today we will not be
using nuclear weapons in Iran.

I didn't know that was on the table, but
okay.

That's great.

Oh,

this is a runway. It's gotten a little
Groundhog Day, isn't it? It's always

of the same story every week. We're
seizing their boats. They're seizing our

boats. It's less like a war and more
like a Florida divorce.

It's kind of become a war of

you block me. No, I block you.

Straight or hermose, you think you can
fuck it up? We could fuck it up.

That's our plan now, is to win slowly by
destroying their economy.

Hopefully their economy.

Yeah, it was Earth Day this week, but we
found out we still use a lot of oil.

Nobody can afford gas. This week, Tiger
Woods crashed his bicycle.

Eric Swalwell has been turning off the
engine of the car when he gets blown.

Really?

Still some residual affection for Eric
Swalwell? Oh, wow.

Okay. But it's not just gas. It turns
out everything is made of petroleum

products. Did you see this week?
Condoms.

Who knew condoms? Condoms, yes.

They're getting trapped in the Strait of
Hormuz.

So, condoms are now very scarce and very
expensive.

More bad news from Mike Vrabel.

The condom situation is so serious that
we are changing the name from Operation

Epic Fury to The Trojan War.

And yet, and yet, lately, Trump on the
war has been so chill.

Have you noticed that? I know, it's not
like him to veer erratically.

But, you know, a couple of weeks ago, it
was, if you don't do what he would say

today, I'm going to destroy your
civilization, bomb the shit out of you.

You think your pencils and dolls are
expensive. Whoa.

And now it's like, is it really a war?

It's more of a situation, really, I
think.

And the problem is, he keeps saying we
won, and we didn't.

We didn't. Hormuz is not open. The
people did not do an uprising.

The regime is still in place. We did not
win, sorry.

And in social media, he keeps rubbing
their noses in the victory we don't

Every day... Every day, he bleeps out

stuff that's inflammatory and
contradictory, all these bullshit

I got to say, you can say what you want
about his negotiating tactics. One

tactic you can't get him on is the
silent treatment.

Turns out the one thing we are really
good at is killing

their leaders who are too stupid to go
underground when we're trying to kill

them. That's what we've got. The current
Ayatollah, who's the son of the old

Ayatollah, turns out he's very gravely
wounded, he was badly burned, can hardly

speak. When he sentences people to death
now, he used to do it with a look.

Very sad.

Oh, and in the middle of this war,
here's big news,

Pete Hegseth fired a white guy.

Yeah, the Secretary of the Navy. And,
wow, this guy must have done some bad

shit. That doesn't happen a lot with
Pete Hegseth.

But it was either a war crime or,
knowing that administration, there was a

picture of him with huge fake balloon
tits.

A lot

of talk this week about drinking in the
Trump administration,

which is ironic because Trump is a
complete teetotaler, but, you know, Pete

Hegseth? There were some rumors about
him.

Head of the FBI, Kash Patel. He is suing
the Atlantic.

He denies it, but they wrote an article
saying he drinks too much. The labor

secretary this week resigned amid
allegations that she drinks too much on

job, that she had an affair with her
security guy.

and was, you know, going on trips, and I
think it's true that she might be a bit

of a party girl.

Well, because she once said, as Labor
Secretary, my

first priority is to improve working
conditions.

That's an invitation I said.

And...

And here's exciting news. The Michael
Jackson movie opens today.

Showings are 7, 9, and 11.

Just like the victims. All right. We've
got a great show. We have Sarah Isger

and Chris Plummer here. But first up,
he's a best -selling author and a U .S.

Army veteran. And he currently serves as
the 63rd governor of Maryland, Governor

Wes Moore.

Governor, how are you? Good to see you
again. Good to see you again.

All right.

Look at that.

Look at, you're loved here in
California.

It's nice out here. You're in
California. You're on real time. You

running for president.

funny because, you know, the GOP is like
historically unpopular now, and yet

every week I have people on this show,
Josh Shapiro, Alyssa Slotkin, you know,

you, Gavin Newsom is here next week,
Andy Beshear. No one's running.

No one's running. It's going to be a
great opportunity.

Maybe I should do it because no one
wants to do it. I don't understand.

Well, no, listen.

I think I've always said, you know,
everybody can do what they want.

But my thing is this, is that my state
is under assault right now.

You know, I've had over 31 ,000 people
fired in the past year by Donald Trump

and J .D. Vance, federal workers.

That's because a lot of federal workers
live in Maryland. Because a lot of them

live in Maryland. The federal government
is there. Yeah, and people who have the

audacity of doing things like making
sure our food is safe or making sure

our planes are not colliding or giving
veterans like myself, making sure they

can get the medication that they need.
And those are the people who Donald

Trump... And J .D. Vance went out to
first. So my point is this. You know,

battle is now.

Our battle is now.

Well, I mean, I do think the midterms
are going to be a blowout. I think the

Democrats are going to just clean up.

I mean, I guess the question is, how do
you think they're going to blow it?

I don't think they can blow it. I'm not
worried about that. But my point is,

what does that mean?

Right. I mean, like, listen, I think
it's very important that the Democrats

can win Congress.

But but what then are we going to do?

Because we have to be very clear. And I
and I take this from a very personal

perspective where I mean, I don't come
from a political family.

You know, I come from a family, frankly,
who's used to suffering the

consequences of policies and not used to
making them.

And when you ask many members of my
family about bad policies that we've had

deal with my entire life.

they couldn't tell you if a Democrat was
the author or a Republican was the

author. They just know it was just a
stupid policy.

And so I just think that we need to make
sure that we have to be able to control

what in many ways is just a completely
lawless federal administration right

However, our job just can't be to

now we can put back.

We've actually got to figure out what
does put forward actually look like.

What does it mean to actually create a
society that people can actually root

for? What does it mean to make sure that
you can have child care that people can

afford and making sure that people can
get back to the workforce without

wondering, are my kids going to be okay?

What does it mean to make sure that we
can have safe streets in our

neighborhoods? So, like, if the goal of
all of this in November is to say, yes,

we can now, you know, do subpoenas
against the president, then, frankly, I

the American people are going to look at
us and say that's not enough. What

policies are you talking about?

You said I hurt you.

This one, I mean, Obamacare, that
helped. That didn't hurt, right?

Okay. Medicare, Social Security, I mean,
that's going back a ways. But the 1964

Civil Rights Act, the Voting Rights Act,
I mean, even the EPA creation.

I mean, these are policies the
government created. Correct. Mostly by

not all.

What are you talking about?

So I'm talking about, like, for example,
if you look at what we're doing inside

of the state of Maryland, it's just
simply saying, are you going to do what

say you're going to do?

So, for example, in my state, when I
said we are going to make sure we're

to invest in child care because it is a
ridiculous issue of parents that are

trying to figure out, can I go back to
the workforce or can I make sure my kids

are going to be okay? And so that's why
in Maryland we've made the largest

investments in child care scholarships
in the United States of America.

Right? When we said that we're going to
invest in housing.

And because housing is too expensive all
over this country and in the state of

Maryland. And I said, well, you know
what? Who's the largest landowner in the

state of Maryland? Guess what? It's the
state of Maryland.

So I said, then you know what? We're
going to take a look at all available

-owned land and land that is near
transit, near trains, near buses. I want

access to all that land, and we are
going to build affordable housing on

land to give more housing for people.

This is about what are we doing to be
able to push back, to make sure we're

going out to these corporations and
these supermarkets who are price gouging

people when they walk into supermarkets.
We made Maryland the first state in the

country that now bans price gouging and
price manipulation.

So when you go into a supermarket, they
can't use your data against you when you

go to the checkout counter. So you'd
rather do that than what they're doing

New York, which is city run. I mean,
that's what Mayor, what, I see you

Yeah, no, no, no. And I say good, laugh,
because that's ridiculous.

But that's what they're doing.

And, of course, we find out now that the
supermarkets that are around the areas

where the city plans to put their
supermarket are very pissed off because

they're like, well, of course, how are
we going to compete?

But, you know, Mayor Mondami, that's
extreme socialism.

Some would say communism.

So you're not for that because I feel
like the Democratic Party has two wings

now. One would be.

Democratic Socialists. That's the term
they use.

Montambi is one. Bernie Sanders.

I mean, there are several others. AOC.
Right. And then there's what I would

Democratic Classic.

Which are you?

Well, I'm going to be very honest. I
mean, like when I the Democratic Party

didn't choose me.

Right. When I ran for governor, the
Democratic Party put millions of dollars

try to stop me.

It just happened the people of Maryland
had a different point of view. And the

people of Maryland made me the governor.
But no party boss and no party.

maybe the government.

And I like that because there is no, I
honestly believe if you

just swallow a party ideology, you're
probably not thinking hard enough. And I

don't care what party. But what I want
to do.

But when I talk about what are the
things that we've got to make sure we're

focusing on when it comes to us, I
believe that oftentimes the Democratic

is this, we have to stop being the party
of no and slow and start being the

party of yes and now.

Start being the party that actually
moves to address with the kind of

that people are requesting. If I'm
telling you that, listen, the school

kids are attending is not preparing them
for college or career.

I don't want to hear you tell me, and
that's why I'm going to do a six -year

study on it. Okay, but you mentioned
scholarships before. And, I mean, this

something Democrats, they are the party
of education. That is their portfolio.

So they should either own it for good or
bad.

Absolutely. Okay, but like in
Pennsylvania, Governor Shapiro, not

president.

He's eliminated the need for a degree,

a college degree.

I've done that, too. You have done that,
too. Yeah. So you're on that page.

Yeah, because, I mean, because listen.

We have eliminated this idea that
somehow how we should be grading for our

schools is based on your four -year
college acceptance rate.

Because that's not the right, that's an
indicator, but that's not something that

we should be looking at. So we've
actually quadrupled.

the amount of slots in trade programs
and apprenticeship programs for our

people so that we believe in our four
-year colleges and we invest in them.

if someone doesn't want to go to a four
-year college, we still need to make

sure they have a path for long -term
economic success and economic mobility.

And so we have allowed...

we've allowed these four -year colleges
to be able to dominate this conversation

as if they are the end -all and be -all.

And frankly, I mean, I think Einstein, I
think, was the one who said it, that if

you tell a fish that the definition of
genius is climbing a tree, then that

will always feel like it's insufficient.

We need to make sure that all of our
young people understand that there is a

place for them and there's a place for
their long -term success regardless of

what academic path they choose to go
down.

Okay, so...

Governor Newsom here. I think he's on
our show next week. Also not running for

president. He said if the Democrats want
to win again, they have

to be what was more culturally normal.

How do you interpret that statement?

And would you agree with that?

Listen, I don't.

What I would say is that.

The Democrats don't have a messaging
problem.

We have a results problem.

There's a results problem when we are
turning around and not producing the

of results with the kind of speed that
is necessary and required.

And you know who exploited that
beautifully?

Donald Trump.

Because Donald Trump, Donald Trump was a
fantastic vessel for the frustration,

right? He points things out like nobody
else's business.

He's just not a vehicle for the
solution.

Donald Trump was the one who was
pointing out, you know what, we've done

this work around electric vehicles and
all this kind of thing and passed a big

bill around it. And do you know how many
electric charging stations we had by

December of 2024?

37.

He pointed that out.

He pointed out the fact that we are now
still watching inflation continue to

rise. Now, he's done nothing but watch
inflation rise under him as well.

But again, he's a fantastic vessel for
the frustration.

I have an honest belief, and I think
about it again with my own family. I

the Army when I was 17 years old, and
there's a philosophy we learned when I

17, leave no one behind.

I think if the Democratic Party can
continue to embrace this idea of leave

one behind and making sure we can move
with the speed and urgency that people

don't feel like they're being left
behind, then we're not going to have an

electoral problem again. And you've
actually just fixed your messaging

by actually addressing with real
results. But don't you think the

a problem with their primaries? I mean,
everybody does because it only

encourages.

the far extreme wing of the party.
That's true of the Republicans, true. I

if you were to run for president, I'm
not saying you are, of course.

But you would have to get through the
primary process. Now, we talked about

when we had lunch at my friend's
recently.

I said, I think you're a great one to do
it in the Democratic Party because you

wear the magic armor.

It's just the truth.

that a black candidate can say things
and has permission to be more centrist

the Democratic Party than a white
candidate. Would you agree with that?

I think that the closed primary process
has run its course.

You know, because I think the problem is
the fastest growing political party in

this country right now is independence.

It's people who are saying, I do not
affiliate with Democrats and I do not

affiliate with Republicans. Here's the
problem.

Independence.

cannot vote until November.

Their voice cannot be heard. And when
you're looking at the massive

gerrymandering that's taking place, for
example, in the Congress, where over 92

% of these congressional districts, 92 %
are not competitive.

By November, it doesn't matter.

And so that's the system that we have.
You have a system where more and more

people are disenfranchised. More and
more people are taken out of the

And so I think the whole idea of a
closed primary system is one that has to

reevaluated. Because if you believe in
democracy, then let people's voices be

heard. And don't make them have to fill
in with a political partisan.

All right. Well, you're good at this.

I never got you down.

You never got me down, right?

Governor Westmore, I'll see you after
this show. Coming back for overtime.

Great. I'll see you again.

All right.

Thank you. Let's leave our panel.

Couldn't get him down. All right.

Here's the Chris Cuomo Project podcast
on the fastest growing cable news show,

Cuomo on News Nation. Chris Cuomo is
here with us.

Okay, she's the editor of the Dispatch's
SCOTUS blog, whose new book is called

Last Branch Standing. Sarah Isger.
Sarah, great to have you back.

Okay.

Let's take a break from the war this
week, shall we?

It does seem to be just Groundhog Day.
So this is the big story today. The

Justice Department is dropping its
criminal investigation of Federal

Chair Jerome Powell. Now, this gets to
something I want to ask you about,

because you have this theory that, you
know, we're actually blocking Trump more

than people say.

And I've read that, too.

Now, the Fed chair, the Fed is, is that
monetary policy or fiscal policy? Right?

One of them is.

Okay, we're all stumped on that.

I was just letting you go. It's monetary
policy. Monetary. Okay, there are two

different things, but it's important.
And these are one of those norms we

used to fuck with. But, of course, Trump
fucks with every norm.

And Jerome Powell, he's the chairman of
the Fed, and he did not do what Trump

wanted. And Trump has one speed when you
defy him, publicly at least, which is,

I'm going to kill you.

So he went after Jerome Powell, you know
what, for redecorating.

I'm not joking. They were building a new
headquarters, and there were cost

overruns, like Trump would not know
about cost overruns in buildings.

So he had his attack dog, Jeanine Pirro,
the U .S. attorney there now, go after

him. The judge said, essentially, zero
evidence in this case. But it does bring

up this point. You know, is Trump being
blocked more? I mean, you say it's the

Supreme Court is doing it, right?

Yeah, at least.

he's being blocked at every turn. The
Supreme Court has blocked him on alien

enemies for immigration.

They blocked him on federalizing the
National Guard in Chicago. They blocked

on tariffs.

They're definitely going to block him on
birthright citizenship.

The reason that... Mail -in voting? Is
that going to... Mail -in voting is

coming, although that at least is a...

statutory question for Congress, in
theory.

The question of whether someone can
apply for asylum at the southern border,

though, that's an executive action.

Lisa Cook is still a governor on the
Federal Reserve because the Supreme

blocked President Trump's ability to
remove her.

But, and this is where I think you and I
might agree, the Supreme Court, the

lower courts can block Trump every which
way, all these indictments against

James Comey or law firms or
universities.

But there is a political cost.

there is still the fact that then people
are afraid of being sued. People are

afraid of being indicted, and it changes
their behavior. So he may lose legally

and still win politically, culturally,
normatively.

That's not good.

No, he... Yeah.

Yeah, I know this personally.

You know, I mean, a lot of it's in the
media.

The club you never wanted to join.

What's it like to be targeted by the
president of the United States?

It's okay.

I'd rather be engaged than just not
engaged at all. I think as long as he,

because he has said once, and I think
he's right about this, he said, what

people don't get about me is I have no
permanent enemies.

Like one day you're out, next day you're
in, next day it's like it never

happened. I'd rather have it that way
and talk to him and keep the dialogue

going because, you know, I've said many
times, I think we need more people like

me talking to him. You know, you can

hyperventilate all you want about what
he does

is wrong. I agree. It should not be a
government by people of saying.

He should be home reading the briefing
books like Obama did. But that's not

going to happen. It is a government by
people are saying, be one of the people

saying. I would just like, yes, I'm glad
you're talking to me.

I agree with your point. Although the
problem is when you have a president who

is talking to someone like you, he's
also talking to Laura Loomer. And if I

to pick, I'd rather take both of you off
the map.

You've never been compared to her. Why
me?

Why would you take me off? Not me, Bill.
I wouldn't take you off. What about me

should be compared to Laura Loomer?

I'm saying we get the same ones, and we
get the insane ones.

You lost them with the Loomer thing.
Yeah, it really lost me there.

It's all right. I'll show myself off.
You'll be back. You'll be back.

You've worked yourself back in. I've
been where you are right now. It's a

cold, but it'll get better.

So what is the scorecard on backing
Trump? Because a lot of people would say

Supreme Court, when they ruled that he
had, what was it, complete immunity to

whatever he wanted? What was the
absolute immunity for actions that

relate to core or exclusive presidential
powers? That does seem sweeping, no?

Look, one.

Shameless plug.

Sarah's book is really good, The Last
Branch Standing, about what the Supreme

Court is supposed to be about.

They are in a jam now because the answer
to your question about whether they're

checking Trump more is they have to.

He is doing more absurd bullshit as
president of the United States than we

ever seen before. We have never had a
president even think about, you know

I'm going to do? Let me just sign this
right now and change the Constitution.

Nobody has ever been ignorant and
arrogant enough to try something like

That I'm going to change birthright
citizenship.

I don't think that's the way it works
for us anymore.

They have to check him.

The problem is, I feel bad for the
people who voted for him because they

right to want to see the law fair stop.

They were right to want to see it stop.
You should not use your power to punish

your political enemy.

And we saw way too much of it. The
problem is, he's doing more of it than

And for the DOJ, which, you know, Sarah
was the voice of the DOJ. Glad you're

not right now, by the way, you know, may
help the book sales.

But, you know, they usually if you hear,
God forbid, they're looking at you,

Bill, you better call everybody, you
know, because you got problems. But now

they lose cases.

They have like a 97 percent conviction
rate. He's bringing it down. Why? B .S.

cases that are just political payback.

James Comey, that was embarrassing.

What they just did with Powell was
embarrassing.

And they're losing. What they're doing
with the Southern Poverty Law Center,

people really are going to believe that
they created the KKK? Okay, so we agree

that he is being blocked.

I always said the thing about him that
was just the biggest thing for me, he

doesn't concede elections.

If you don't have elections, if you
don't have the peaceful transfer of

you don't have the country. Another time
the court blocked him, unanimously.

On what?

After 2020, right? He appealed and
appealed. Every Federalist Society judge

no, and the Supreme Court unanimously
was like, get out of here.

Good. But, I mean, he's very mad at his
own justices now. He said this week,

certain Republican justices have gone
weak, stupid, and bad.

I got to get him.

He knows all the words. All the best
words he knows. My five -year -old knows

them.

I've always thought, I mean, look,
justices, whatever judge you are, I

there's a whole big wall of law books
behind you. I don't think they really go

to the idea of what does the actual law
say.

Go by their gut. They go by what they
believe, and then they find a reason in

one of those law books. It's very much
like the Bible.

You can find anything you want in the
Bible. And by the way, they're doing a

Bible reading this week.

The whole country for our 205th
anniversary, because we're a Christian

Not really, but that's what they think.
They're all reading the Bible like Trump

is taking a...

paragraph or something, or whatever it
is in the Bible, a passage.

In Texas, they're putting the Ten
Commandments back in school. The Ten

Commandments are back in the school.

And the Fifth Circuit judge in Texas
said this is okay?

Were you on that?

Yeah, I clerked on the Fifth Circuit for
the judge who wrote that.

So, look, this is actually another
interesting part. Have I got a book for

Bill, to read? I think you'll really
like it. What's it called? Last Branch

Standing Press.

Thank you.

This narrative that the court is so
conservative, right, and it's just

controlled by Trump. The Ninth Circuit
used to be the court that was overturned

the most. That was the liberal Ninth
Circuit where we are now, California and

the West.

That's not the court being overturned
the most by the Supreme Court anymore.

It's the Fifth Circuit because of cases
like this Ten Commandments case.

And if you really want to look at what
the court is doing these days and why it

is, you know.

So much part of our conversation, why I
can write a book about it, it's because

Congress isn't doing anything anymore.

So what used to be the Supreme Court
would say yes or no, and then Congress

could just pass a law the next day.

None of us believe that they will do
that. None of us believe that we have

power to amend the Constitution anymore.

So we keep looking to the Supreme Court
to be the last word on things, when in

fact it was supposed to be part of this
dialogue.

They're not politically accountable, and
so the pressure builds because we feel

like we can't change it. They don't
answer to us. They're not supposed to.

They're counter -majoritarian.

They're supposed to tell all of us to go
buzz off, like they did in Brown v.

Board of Education and West Virginia v.

Barnett. Their worst decisions are the
ones where they went with the majority,

in Dred Scott, in Plessy, in Korematsu.

Buck v. Bell is my favorite, the
eugenicist case, if you haven't read

Yeah, we don't all know those, just by
the way.

I mean, we get it.

We get it. You're the expert. By the
way, Laura Loomer sued me, and I won

week. Oh, man. Okay, okay.

No commentary. That's just

a fact. Okay.

Let me go back to the Ten Commandments
just a little bit, because it seems such

a clear case that you shouldn't have the
Ten Commandments in a school. The

school is just for learning. It should
be. Now, obviously, the left has fucked

that up, too.

I mean, there's lots of leftist
indoctrination in schools.

So both sides. But this one seems very
clear. I'd also like to ask all the anti

-Semites out there who seem to populate
both the left and the right, who love

the Ten Commandments so much, are you
aware that this is a complete Jew -y

thing?

The Ten Commandments.

Well,

it is.

I mean, it's...

It was written many, many years before
Christ came along. It's just Jews

to Jews about Jews. Chosen people
conversation.

Chosen people.

I think that you get it in the picture
of the guy who's fighting to put them in

the school is the guy who has some of
the ugliest allegations against him of

immorality. And what we don't want to do
with all these people of faith in our

society, which is great depending on how
you use it, live the Ten Commandments.

Show us how you live.

Don't just say what you want us to think
about you. And for Paxton to say, yeah,

I'm going to put the Ten Commandments
in, when he clearly only knows like two

them in terms of his own life, what is
the message for people? All those

kindergartners committing adultery,
really, if they had it up there, maybe

wouldn't do it.

Coveting is a big word in lower school
these days. You know, covet, covet. The

kids are crazy about it. All right,
well, before we...

Lose track of time. I did want to
congratulate Trump on one thing this

He'd made it easier to smoke pot.

I've got to say, all of us potluckers
have been asking somebody to make

marijuana less criminalized.

He's got to help with hemp. Hopefully he
does. Well, good luck trying to get

high on hemp.

Some people use it for other things.
It's only useful for other things.

It is a biological cousin.

Of the stuff I smoke. It is not
something you can smoke. It should never

been illegal in the first place. Yeah.
Okay.

But it brings me to the bigger story
that, you know, Trump is a teetotaler.

really does not like liquor because I
think he lost his breath in alcoholism.

Okay. But it turns out that that
administration does not follow the

the boss on this one. I mean, this week
we found out the big story. Kash Patel

is suing the Atlantic because they wrote
this story.

And he denies it. of course, but they
say, you know, he sometimes didn't show

at work because it was too much the
night before.

And then there's, oh, there's that
picture.

Yeah, I mean, we have, I mean, but you
know what? That doesn't say anything. I

don't believe it just because the
Atlantic said it. It might be true, and

they got a picture with a bottle in his
mouth.

We've all had a bottle in our mouth.

When we were babies.

You've never had a beer in your mouth,
Chris. Yeah, but I've never been telling

people I don't drink. You don't have to
worry about it. And then he's literally

downing the whole thing. Take a break.

But does that really... See, this is
just the... Look, do I care if he drinks

not? No. Do I care that you put somebody
who is selling conspiracies about

Epstein into the highest position of
power at the DOJ? Yeah, that bothers me.

All right. So the point is, it is kind
of a boozy administration because I

remember Jeanine Pirro, who's now the U
.S. attorney. I remember when she was on

Fox News. That was always the talk about
her. Again, I don't know if it's true

or not.

And then there's the labor secretary.

She quit this week because apparently
the same kind of rumors. And of course,

there was always Pete Hegseth. I mean,
those pictures I would agree with. We

don't know. But we thought we, as a PSA,
because we're always trying to do

service to this country, we would want
to put a little guideline to know if you

are part of a too -boozy administration.
Would you like to see if you... These

are just some of the ways you can tell.

For example, if among all your
colleagues, no one can remember who

attack on Venezuela.

Cabinet meetings begin at 5 o 'clock
somewhere.

If RFK asked if you'd like to see a dead
raccoon penis and you said yes.

If you got arrested because you were
climbing on the ballroom construction

equipment in the middle of the night.
Yes.

Definitely a sign.

Oh.

Here's one. You keep slurring your
ethnic slurs.

If everybody does a shot every time the
Strait of Hormuz opens back up.

That's kind of understandable, that one.

If when you tell a Senate panel, I don't
recall, you actually don't recall.

You appear on Face the Nation with a
dick drawn on your forehead.

Too boozy.

If you wake up on the couch and Lindsey
Graham is making waffles in a bathroom,

that is definitely a sign.

I'm just, it's a public service, people.

And if everyone keeps asking, do you
think Hunter Biden left any more cocaine

lying around?

Okay, so... All right, now let's talk
about the big political

bombshell that happened this week, which
was the state of Virginia. They

gerrymandered the fuck out of the state.

And I hate to sound like a five -year
-old, but Trump started it.

He did. I mean, now it's out of control,
but that's just the fact.

He started it.

He encouraged Texas to do this. And I
thought, like, I had Eric Holder on,

not that many, a couple of years ago.
And it was like, we're going to fix

gerrymandering. We're going to stop it
because, you know, gerrymandering is

not fair. Both sides do it.

And then Trump just, of course, had to
make it worse. So now Virginia, it looks

like it's going to be only the suburbs.

We were talking to the governor of
Maryland there. Only his people, his...

constituents in that area. Those are the
suburbs around D .C. That's part of

Virginia. And they're all mostly they do
work in the government. That's why so

many government workers got fired.

So many people in Maryland got fired
because the government workers, they're

going to gerrymander the state. So like
almost all the votes are coming from

there. And the rest of the state's a big
state full of hicks.

And I say that in a not in a mean way.

Hicks are not to be stupid.

You're a hick? Okay.

I live in Virginia.

Yeah, but rural people... Oh, you do?
Yeah, well, that other part.

Which part do you live in? I live right
on the hick to Democrat line.

Okay.

But this is just a race to the bottom,
is it not? Because now, I mean,

California has done it, Illinois has
done it, Maryland has done it. We're

going to get to, it was like the last
pillar of somewhat a resemblance of

democracy that we didn't fully do this,
and now we're just going to do it where

every state is just rigged, rigged.

Okay.

On the one hand, I think it's really
funny to fight over which party should

control a branch of government that
doesn't do anything anymore. Like, why

we fighting over Congress?

What's the point?

That's a great take on that.

But okay, like, that's a fun, you know,
tug -of -war team jersey thing to play.

Virginia used to have a bipartisan,
nonpartisan redistricting commission, so

we're actually getting worse.

But here's the good news.

In order to gerrymander this hard in all
of these states, you actually do have

to make the districts more competitive.

So in a wave election, like what we're
planning to have this fall, where

Democrats will take... What do you mean,
make it more competitive? Well, each

district gets...

gerrymandered to make sure that
Democrats can win, but instead of

seats by, you know, 80%, now they can
only win them by 54%, 55%. Oh, I see,

right. So in a wave election, the water
would swamp you out. So Texas, my home

state, Trump pressured them into doing
it like you said. They started this.

They're actually quite likely to lose
many of the seats they gerrymandered if

the Democratic wave gets high enough.
They will be underwater.

And in a year where there's a Republican
wave, these Virginia seats will

actually be lost by Democrats. So, like,
maybe, again, I don't know what we're

fighting over. Again, a branch that,
like, sits on Instagram and, like, takes

pictures of themselves and says $75?

So glad one party controls that. Phew!

Wow. Oh, come on.

If the Democrats have the kind of
success a lot of us think they're going

have in the midterms, you don't think
that's going to make a difference? You

don't think that's going to be
different? If the Democrats control all

committees in that Congress? They will
not pass so much more not passing of

legislation. You're right. Wow.

They'll do oversight and they'll have
hearings where they do more Instagram

reels to raise more money. They're not
going to actually use the power of the

purse, pass legislation.

They might impeach someone. They're
certainly not going to convict them in

Senate, so it'll be another great...
That's the one thing they can't do is

impeach. You're right. They can't
impeach. They cannot remove.

That's the problem.

Okay, well, nobody cares about that.
Well, but I'll tell you when you care is

when you see six months of your life
vanish because you're watching that

unfold and you know how it's going to
end when you've been through it twice

before, and they're doing it for the
same reason they do the gerrymandering,

which is... All that matters to these
people now is the retention of their own

power. And I think the reason it's
important this is happening is for

see what the governor was talking about.

Independent is the fastest growing part
of the electorate for a reason, which is

they hate the party.

And the more people are anti -party, the
better a chance we have that anything

gets better.

Although on the flip side...

we're talking about this on the flip
side the reason so independents now are

more than republican or democrats for
the first time in american history more

people don't identify with a political
party i would argue it's because we

have political parties anymore we got
rid of them with campaign finance reform

in 2002 which sounds like a good idea,
but it means there is no one keeping all

of the inmates in the asylum anymore.

The parties have no carrots, no sticks
to keep these people in line, no policy

agenda. There's no policy platform for
either party.

Donald Trump defeated the Republican
Party before he defeated the Democratic

Party in 2016.

That's because we don't have political
parties, and I loved not having

parties until I saw the result now, and
I'm like, this isn't better.

But all his original fans are turning on
him.

Have you seen that? I mean, this week,
Joe Rogan and Tucker Carlson both

renounced the leader, as has Candace
Owens did it, Alex Jones,

all the people. All the people I look to
for advice. I know. I respect how

seriously you're laying this out. I do.
I do. But just think about what it says

about where we are.

That we are in a place where we are
looking at Candace Owens and Tucker

and Joe Rogan as bellwethers of our
political status.

You know, like, wow, Rogan, what am I
going to do now that he's not with

It's like we are in mouth breather land
in terms of how we formulate our

positions. It's like, oh, Tucker
Carlson, he got attacked by a demon last

in his bedroom, but now he's in the
light about Trump. I don't know how to

It's a weird place.

We're in a weird place.

I never thought I would say that. Wow,
Tucker Carlson. Yeah, Trump's going to

have a problem.

He's going to have a problem keeping the
faithful in there. He's got Joe Rogan,

you know, the psychedelics, you know.
Thank God he had that.

Otherwise, he would have lost them
completely. I think there's a difference

between Joe Rogan and Candace Owens and
Alex Jones. I do. I think there's a bit

of a difference. I hope so.

Well, I don't know he's apparently going
to the Trump is the Correspondents

dinner this year I would I'm very
interested to see what this is going to

like because you know the correspondence
dinner that I think I did it one year.

They used to have comedians. By the way,
I said that because I got shit about

it. Everybody, every comedian gets shit
about it. It's the worst gig in the

world because half the people in the
audience are Republican, half are the

Democrats. You can insult anybody,
whatever, what they say.

So they always, I said, just get a
magician.

Just get somebody who doesn't do
political. They're always trying to get

political, and it's like the worst
thing. Now they got a mentalist.

So they can have a mentalist and a
mental patient there.

I kid. I joke with the president.

But, you know, the president
traditionally, I mean, this is why

people say this is why he ran for
president in the first place, because he

at the one where Obama just tore him a
new asshole from the podium, and now

going to get a chance to say all sorts
of insulting things to the press, just

like any one of his press conferences,
so it's not really that different.

I agreed to do this show so I could
avoid that dinner tomorrow night. So

you so much. Oh, really?

Yeah.

I wasn't invited.

No, I wasn't. But I wouldn't have gone
if they had invited me. I want you to

know that right now. Right. I would have
said no.

I'm going to give that tuxedo back right
away.

Blue. But he, I mean.

It's kind of interesting because, you
know, when I look at the list of

paramounts, which now apparently owns
me, paid $16 million

to settle a lawsuit. You know, this is
the media that he's talking to here over

the 60 Minutes interview with Kamala
Harris.

Disney, one of my other old sponsors
that fired me once.

agreed to pay $16 million over the
George Stephanopoulos interview. I mean,

famously took Jimmy Kimmel off the air
for a while. I mean, it's a little

awkward, him speaking to the people who
he also calls the enemy of the American

people. He literally calls them the
enemy, which I find to be, I would be

personally affronted by it, but, you
know, he does that to everybody.

But it is the fourth estate.

I mean, when you take on the press like
that, I think you are flirting with

something that really knocks out one of
the pillars of what we love about this

country. Well, look, I think that we all
get it. We just don't know how anything

gets better anymore.

And I don't have any problem.

With nerd prom.

You know, I get that people like to get
dressed up. They like to go.

Is that what you call it? Nerd prom?
Yeah, everybody.

Hollywood for ugly people. Yeah, that's
right. But we've always called it.

It's the nerd prom, and that's great.
That's great. Well, I wasn't invited,

know. I'm too good looking.

So, you know, what I think you'll see
there also, Bill, is how manufactured

is. The division is manufactured.

Trump hates you, as you said, until he
doesn't. And he's going to go there, and

he's going to get laughed.

And you'll see that all these people who
are there who are saying, you know,

they are not real journalists and this
isn't real one. They're all getting

along. It's a club.

And once you understand that, you
realize why things don't change.

I mean, again, to bring this back to the
Supreme Court a little, that's the

branch that is functioning. That's the
branch that gets along.

They actually spend time together. They
have lunch three, four times a week

after they have oral argument where they
are not allowed to talk about work.

They have to talk about sports or what
their kids are majoring in.

Amy Coney Barrett loved binge -watching
Slow Horses. She was super pumped about

the new season.

Like, this is a good thing for people to
actually have to see each other as

humans. And I hope that's what happens
at the White House Correspondents'

Dinner. I read that reality TV
viewership is plummeting, and I think

downstream from culture, and I hope we
are turning the ship slowly away from

reality politics.

All right, let's end on that positive
note.

All right, thank you, and you're both
beautiful people. It's time for new

everybody. New rules.

Okay,

new rule.

Don't make your baby spout your
political opinions for you.

You don't know what that kid believes.

He looks pretty MAGA to me.

I say to babies what right -wingers say
to athletes. Shut up and dribble.

No, really, if you complain about
Columbus Day because it ignores the fact

he killed Indians and you complain about
President's Day because it ignores the

fact that Washington owned slaves, then
you can't happily go see a movie where

Michael Jackson doesn't sleep with kids.

Which is the movie that's out now where
we just hear about the fun things

Michael did. It's playing on a double
bill with Jeffrey Epstein, super host

extraordinaire, and John Wayne Gacy,
thanks for the laugh.

Now that Red Lobster is reviving its
endless shrimp deal, two years after

stopped doing it because it had led to
an $11 million loss, they must tell

How can this work financially?

Unless you're planning to sell some
outdated stash of frozen shrimp that

had on ice since 2009.

Oh, I see.

Let's all give President Trump credit
where credit is due for forcing Iran to

call off their scheduled execution of
these women protesters.

It was the right thing to do, and it
sends a powerful message to the world.

you're a woman in Iran and you look hot,
at least an eight, America has your

back.

You know, shopping in the grocery store
has to stop making me feel like I'm

flirting with statutory rape.

What's with very young, small, sweet
peas?

Tater tots and baby carrots and extra
virgin olive oil.

Gee, if I wanted to feel this pervy,
I'll go see the Michael Jackson movie.

And finally, new rule. Someone has to
explain the American economy to me. I

I've said this before. I still don't get
it.

Last week was tax day, and as usual,
because HBO is so generous, and I'm sure

will be the new owners, I paid to the
government, if you add in state tax,

local sales, property fees, Obamacare,
probably almost 60 % of what I earn.

That's a lot. And I still wouldn't mind
if Bernie Sanders would stop saying the

rich don't pay taxes.

And while I'm sure the super rich, with
their army of accountants and corporate

loopholes, get away with murder, us
regular rich people pay a shit ton of

And who stands up and gives us a pat on
the back? Nobody, that's who.

The top 10 % pay 72 % of all federal
income taxes, and the bottom half,

3%. The democratic socialists talk about
socialism like we don't already have a

lot. Social security, unemployment,
Medicare, nutritional assistance,

Obamacare, disability, housing
subsidies. Again, not against it. Just

question. How can you be soaking the
rich and failing the poor so badly?

So badly that on 60 Minutes last week,
they were redoing the story they did 18

years ago about remote area medical.

That is the program modeled after
medical teams that drop into the poorest

countries in the world for a few days to
set up a tent where people with no

access to health care can get some.

And now we're one of those countries.

Doctors within borders.

How can it be that the federal
government alone took in over $5

taxes last year and we still need that?

Are we really this incompetent and
corrupt? Don't answer that.

Whatever it is, somehow the ultra -rich
keep getting ultra -richer while a

growing percentage is feeling truly
desperate. You just wouldn't know it

everyone on TV is rich.

Reality TV, rich women day drinking.

Drama, rich women whose friend got
murdered.

Comedy, rich men shouting into cell
phones.

But these are the people with all the
money. Get this, the richest one -tenth

now does half of all the spending.

Somehow we created an economy where the
number of households worth $20 million

or more is 644 ,000.

Wow, that's a lot of people with $20
million.

And all of them are looking for a
girlfriend on sugarbabies .com.

Corporations go where the money is. Las
Vegas used to be the town of $8 all -you

-can -eat buffets and hotels where every
room was $29.

Nope, not anymore. Go fuck yourself. We
don't want you.

Their business model now is they only
want the high rollers.

Are you a whale? No? Then float yourself
back out to sea.

Who that is not rich could afford a
concert now?

Woodstock was free. Now if you want to
see Morgan Wallen, you have to take out

second mortgage on your trailer.

I kid the hicks.

I love the hicks.

Disneyland, for a family of four to
spend the weekend.

Between the cost of the ticket, plus
lodging, airfare, rental car, souvenirs,

food, we're talking ten grand.

To afford that, the average dad would
have to be cooking meth on the side.

The, uh... Disneyland's staff manual
used to read, we roll out the red carpet

for the Jones family from Joliet just as
we would for the Eisenhowers from Palm

Springs. No, you don't.

Because the Eisenhowers from Palm
Springs can buy a Lightning Lane Premier

that lets you skip the lines. The Jones
family can suck my dick.

And Mickey could give a rat's ass.

Because that's what our economy has
become.

In 1992, a Lego speedboat toy set cost
$2 .99.

Today, Lego sells Titanic for $680.

It's an educational toy because you
learn it sucks to be poor.

And nowhere is that more true than when
it comes to health care.

Money can't buy happiness, but it sure
can buy healthiness. Half the country

buy access to concierge doctors,
specialists, new treatments, personal

nutritionists, private chefs, and
whatever Gwyneth Paltrow is putting in

vagina.

And the other half has the place I was
just talking about, Remote Area Medical,

the pop -up health care clinic that
rolls into town once a year like a

fair, except instead of riding the tilt
-a -whirl, a volunteer doctor pulls your

infected tooth.

And the saddest thing in the 60 Minutes
piece is that nothing has changed.

since they covered it in 2008.

Same line of cars parked overnight so
people make sure to get seen.

Same people who work two jobs but still
can't afford to see a doctor unless a

touring nonprofit sets up shop in a
parking lot.

But here's the truth. You're not going
to get health care to these people by

threatening to tap and eat the rich.

You raise billionaire taxes, they just
leave the state.

Or they leave the country. Or in some
cases, the planet.

I kid Elon, but you know, he had a good
idea recently that might be apropos

here. During the recent government
shutdown, he volunteered to pay all the

workers himself. You know, with couch
money.

That's how super rich our super rich
are. They can single -handedly fund

government programs.

Okay, so let's make that a thing.

The Adopt -a -Cause Challenge for
Billionaires.

Teachers who buy school supplies with
their own money or people without homes

disaster victims, whatever it is, make
the rich folks competitive about solving

it because that's all they care about
anyway, beating each other.

Yeah.

Just... Skip the middleman. The
government and the health care

that, for whatever reason, no matter how
much they take in, never seem to get

enough to the people and just shame the
billionaires into doing it directly

because they have all the money. And
noblesse oblige isn't just the name of a

cologne. All right. Thank you very much.
That's our show. I want to thank Chris

Cobo, Sarah Esger, Kevin O. Westmore,
Trevor Adams drops every Monday on

or listen wherever you get your
podcasts.

watch overtime on youtube thank you very
much everybody i appreciate it thank

you