Original subtitles

INSPECTOR: The most unusual case I have ever handled

concerned the Marquisa de Pouletbon.

Every year she held a magnificent charity ball at her chateau.

The Marquisa wore her famous jewelry,

including the largest diamond in the world,

the Plymouth Rock.

It was my duty to guard this beautiful stone.

I had strict instructions never to let it out of my sight.

Of course, I noted a suspicious movement

and unfortunately took my eye off the jewel, momentarily.

(SCREAMING)

(PEOPLE GASPING)

My diamond, it's gone. I've been robbed. Help! Help!

Attention, attention. Madame's diamond has been stolen.

And by order of the Department of Police, no one is to leave this room.

No one is to leave this chateau. No one is to leave Paris.

Mail in your names!

INSPECTOR: The Commissioner was waiting for me in his office,

intending to return the jewel safely to his ward.

You had me worried, Inspector. Give me the diamond.

Come, come, tout de suite.

Why, the diamond has been stolen.

What?

(INSPECTOR EXCLAIMING)

That was good. That one hurt.

INSPECTOR: I began my search into Madame Pouletbon's past for some clue.

My initial efforts revealed that she had been a chicken plucker,

who at the age of 42 inherited 41 million francs.

After mulling it over in my fertile brain,

I decided to start my investigation at the scene of the crime,

Madame's chateau.

I thought it strange to be met at the door by a chicken,

but I shrugged it off as a probable reminder of Madame's humble past.

During my search for the clues,

I discovered that all of Madame's servants were chickens.

Could it be that one of these chickens stole the jewel

to get revenge on Madame?

But no, that theory is too wild.

Where would a chicken hide such a jewel?

They could not possibly commit a crime of this nature.

Or could they?

By now, I was convinced that I should try phase two of my investigation.

Deux-Deux, dear boy, please come here.

One of these chickens stole the jewel.

Fortunately, I brought my chicken disguise with me.

- Oh, are you beautiful. - Yes, but of course.

INSPECTOR: Completely inconspicuous, I moved about freely among the chickens.

Something told me that I had better learn their language.

I soon mastered the chicken language and decided to question

the most likely suspect, the butler.

I would appear, you know, very friendly to him

by telling him one of my better jokes.

It worked, of course. Now he trusted me as a friend.

To show his friendship, he told me a joke about a dumb inspector

looking for a jewel stolen by the chickens!

Dumb inspector indeed, eh? This made it clear to me

that this was the guilty party. He had guilt written all over his face.

Put up your wings. You are under arrest.

- Take this chicken in for questioning. - A chicken?

I don't know what kind of questions you ask a chicken.

Never mind, just do as I say, please.

- Sí. - Don't say "Sí, " say "Oui."

Sí, I mean, oui. I mean...

Oh, okay.

Come on, let's go, Señor Chicken. March.

- And do not say "Señor, " say "Monsieur." - DEUX-DEUX: Si.

Not sí, oui.

Sí, I mean, oui.

Okay, chicken, out with it, now.

Why did you cross the road with red suspenders?

(SQUAWKING)

En garde, Monsieur Poet.

I have recorded your entire confession on my ring tape recorder.

(SQUAWKING)

Now, where did you hide that jewel?

At last the case is solved. Open the door, monsieur.

(EXCLAIMS IN FRENCH)

Deux-Deux, dear boy, just step over here, please, for a moment.

This scoundrel has hidden the jewel inside one of these eggs.

Now it is up to us to find which one.

Now start looking.

INSPECTOR: Continue searching, Deux-Deux, please.

We will find the right one sooner or later.

Holy smokes! I never seen anything like this.

- Look, something that's so good... - Deux-Deux, give me that egg.

This is obviously a decoy planted by the chickens.

It is my duty to examine it.

(STAMMERING) I mean, how shocking.

(INSPECTOR EXCLAIMS IN FRENCH)

I must confiscate this for, you know, evidence.

Now, back to work, Deux-Deux.

- Hey, look at that. - Hey, look at that.

- Oh, boy, what a stroke of luck. - Oh, boy, what a stroke of luck.

The jewel.

Another cancan.

Deux-Deux, dear boy, come here. Look at this one, huh.

- But, señor... - That is an order, Deux-Deux.

(EXCLAIMS IN SPANISH)

(WHOOPS)

Here's another one!

Oh, la, la. And away we go.