Original subtitles

INSPECTOR: The news of the mad bomber's prison break

put the Commissioner in a state of extreme agitation.

Inspector, we must apprehend this madman.

As you know, he swore to get the official that sent him to prison.

And that official is me.

But don't worry. I will protect you.

Hey, this gift package here just came for the Commissioner.

Maybe that's his birthday or something, eh?

Don't touch it. It could be a bomb.

- Deux-Deux. - Sí.

Take this package down to the lab and subject it to the usual tests, please.

- Sí. - And don't say "Sí, " say "Oui."

Sí, I mean, oui... I mean... What do I mean?

It didn't explode, I see. I mean, oui.

So you see it was absolutely harmless, eh?

Here, listen to the cuckoo.

(CUCKOOING)

- Oh, dear, Commissioner, I... - Shut up!

I've listened to enough cuckoos for one day.

But, Commissioner, the safest place for you is where the mad bomber is not,

which is right here, which is where he is not, right?

A fine state of affairs!

The police are locked up while the crooks roam around free.

(CHORTLING)

Just a moment. Do you have a license to peddle these balloons?

Well, it's a good thing you have.

I don't believe it.

I believe it.

INSPECTOR: To further ensure the Commissioner's safety,

I decided that we should leave immediately for his country estate.

Wait, I had better check to see if the car has been wired with a bomb.

Everything is perfect, sir. You may get in.

Now what nasty luck. It blew out.

Well, we'll take the armor-plated compact instead.

Quick! Pull over to the curb.

Was I speeding?

No, no, you fool! It's the mad bomber. He's running up that hill.

After him!

Stop or I'll shoot.

(LAUGHING)

I warn you, I have been trained to kill.

(CHORTLING)

Taxi! Taxi!

INSPECTOR: We finally arrived at the Commissioner's country house

where we enjoyed the simple pastoral life.

I have made a thorough search and you can be sure

that there is not one bomb on these premises.

That's splendid.

One, two. One, two. One, two. One, two.

Commissioner, can you hear me? If so, signify by moving your hand.

INSPECTOR: The Commissioner impressed it upon me to search more painstakingly,

and I soon met with success.

(HISSING)

To render a bomb harmless, first you must remain composed,

and second, plunge the bomb into water as quickly as possible.

(EXPLOSION)

I hate you.

INSPECTOR: We found the French Riviera most enjoyable.

Hurry up with my sunburn lotion.

Coming, sir.

What is this? Could it be a fuse?

I believe it is a fuse.

Commissioner!

Here's your sunburn lotion.

INSPECTOR: I decided it would be safer to get out of France.

There's no bombers up here, eh, Inspector?

But of course not. Relax and enjoy yourself.

Peace and quiet at last.

INSPECTOR: My unerring powers of deduction

finally led to the capture of the elusive mad bomber.

And I magnanimously allowed the credit to pass to my superior.

The photographers are here now, sir.

Very good. Send them in.

Take off your hat, you ill-mannered idiot!

INSPECTOR: And so with that, I mark the case officially closed.

And that was the last of the mad bomber.

Or was it?