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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:30,679 --> 00:00:32,271 Hey. 2 00:00:38,454 --> 00:00:40,046 Bye! 3 00:00:42,725 --> 00:00:45,057 Bouquet? Bouquet. 4 00:00:45,227 --> 00:00:46,216 Beautiful, isn't it? 5 00:00:47,629 --> 00:00:49,290 But let me tell you the truth. 6 00:00:49,798 --> 00:00:54,167 For a lot of people, marriage is like sticking your tongue on a frozen flagpole. 7 00:00:54,336 --> 00:00:57,100 It looks like fun when you see friends doing it, so you say: 8 00:00:57,272 --> 00:01:00,139 "Hey, I'll give it a try. Just once." 9 00:01:00,309 --> 00:01:03,540 Next thing you know, you're stuck. 10 00:01:03,712 --> 00:01:05,179 Full of regret. 11 00:01:05,347 --> 00:01:07,838 Praying, "Please get me out of this with my dignity... 12 00:01:08,016 --> 00:01:10,985 ...if least not my extremities, intact." 13 00:01:11,153 --> 00:01:13,348 But it doesn't have to be like that, my friends. 14 00:01:13,522 --> 00:01:16,650 It does not have to be like that. 15 00:01:16,825 --> 00:01:18,383 That's where I come in. 16 00:01:18,560 --> 00:01:21,028 Good marriages are my business. 17 00:01:21,396 --> 00:01:23,387 Meeting the right person in the first place? 18 00:01:23,564 --> 00:01:26,329 Well, my friends, that is up to you. 19 00:01:26,502 --> 00:01:27,969 Oh, I'm sorry. 20 00:01:28,137 --> 00:01:31,265 - I'll go. - Yeah, you go. Okay. 21 00:01:47,689 --> 00:01:50,214 - Hi. I'm Sadie. - Hi. Ben. 22 00:01:50,392 --> 00:01:52,622 From that first, destined meeting... 23 00:01:53,162 --> 00:01:56,188 ... to the sweet innocence of the first date. 24 00:02:01,136 --> 00:02:03,468 - Are you skipping to second base? - What's that? No. 25 00:02:03,639 --> 00:02:05,368 You know why? I'm not a skipper. 26 00:02:05,541 --> 00:02:10,478 Maybe we should take care of first base, just to make things right. 27 00:02:13,148 --> 00:02:15,241 The first kiss. 28 00:02:15,918 --> 00:02:18,386 The first time you say "I love you." 29 00:02:18,554 --> 00:02:20,283 - I love you. - What? 30 00:02:20,455 --> 00:02:23,083 What? A view. What a view. 31 00:02:23,258 --> 00:02:26,819 First time you say "I love you," and she actually hears you. 32 00:02:26,995 --> 00:02:28,485 I love you. 33 00:02:30,098 --> 00:02:33,226 - I'm afraid you're not my type. - I love you too. 34 00:02:40,008 --> 00:02:42,568 You seriously didn't think I was gonna let you see that? 35 00:02:43,445 --> 00:02:46,107 Let's skip to the next thing: moving in together. 36 00:02:46,281 --> 00:02:50,240 The first time she finds something you don't want her to see. 37 00:02:51,320 --> 00:02:54,551 - Don't worry, I got the heavy ones. - "Dear Mr. Brian Boitano." 38 00:02:54,723 --> 00:02:57,453 - Oh, God! - "Congratulations on your triple Axel. 39 00:02:57,993 --> 00:02:59,984 I wonder how much you practice every week... 40 00:03:00,162 --> 00:03:03,996 ...and also how you make your hair stay like that." 41 00:03:04,166 --> 00:03:06,600 Hey, he was a legend. Okay? 42 00:03:06,768 --> 00:03:09,601 I mean, even at age 9 I knew that. 43 00:03:10,005 --> 00:03:12,838 I'm gonna get a less embarrassing box. Okay. 44 00:03:13,008 --> 00:03:15,442 If she doesn't dump your wussy ass after that... 45 00:03:16,645 --> 00:03:19,205 ...then comes the big one: the proposal. 46 00:03:30,058 --> 00:03:31,218 Sadie... 47 00:03:31,393 --> 00:03:32,985 ...you're a great girl. You are. 48 00:03:33,161 --> 00:03:35,527 And I think it's time that you and I were man and... 49 00:03:35,697 --> 00:03:37,688 Lame. That is so lame. 50 00:03:41,837 --> 00:03:45,204 We are so pleased all of you could be here with us today... 51 00:03:45,374 --> 00:03:49,606 ...to celebrate our 30 years of marriage. 52 00:03:49,778 --> 00:03:51,040 Cheers. 53 00:03:53,548 --> 00:03:54,537 Cheers. 54 00:03:55,150 --> 00:03:59,382 It is especially gratifying to be surrounded by such good friends... 55 00:03:59,554 --> 00:04:00,680 ...and family... 56 00:04:01,056 --> 00:04:05,186 ...and of course, our two beautiful daughters... 57 00:04:05,360 --> 00:04:06,657 ...Sadie... 58 00:04:06,828 --> 00:04:08,420 ...and Lindsey... 59 00:04:08,597 --> 00:04:10,690 ...who has moved back home with us... 60 00:04:12,301 --> 00:04:14,394 ...to try and make a new start for herself. 61 00:04:14,569 --> 00:04:15,729 We are... 62 00:04:16,638 --> 00:04:19,664 ...so thrilled with her perseverance. 63 00:04:20,876 --> 00:04:22,844 Thank you for the support, Dad. 64 00:04:25,314 --> 00:04:29,216 And then there's Carlisle, Sadie's best friend, who used to take baths with Sadie... 65 00:04:29,384 --> 00:04:30,851 - What? - What? 66 00:04:31,019 --> 00:04:36,013 ...when they were younger, and pretend he was a submarine captain. 67 00:04:36,191 --> 00:04:38,682 I destroyed all the photos. I promise you. 68 00:04:38,860 --> 00:04:41,852 - Thank you. Very good to know. Thanks. - Wait, what? 69 00:04:42,030 --> 00:04:44,089 And our good friends, Don and Gwen... 70 00:04:44,266 --> 00:04:46,131 ...Kwan-Li... 71 00:04:46,301 --> 00:04:47,791 ...Jerry, Otis. 72 00:04:48,136 --> 00:04:49,728 Dad... 73 00:04:50,272 --> 00:04:51,261 ...what about... 74 00:04:51,440 --> 00:04:53,271 - What about Ben? - Oh, no, no, no. 75 00:04:54,242 --> 00:04:58,440 Oh, and of course, there's Sadie's affable boyfriend, Ben. 76 00:04:59,514 --> 00:05:01,038 But what I really want to do... 77 00:05:01,216 --> 00:05:03,616 ...is thank my beautiful wife... 78 00:05:04,219 --> 00:05:09,054 ...without whom this life would mean nothing. 79 00:05:09,257 --> 00:05:11,851 Happy 30th anniversary. 80 00:05:14,396 --> 00:05:15,988 - I love you. - I love you too. 81 00:05:16,164 --> 00:05:18,223 And I hope there are 30 more. 82 00:05:18,400 --> 00:05:20,800 Well, that makes one of us. 83 00:05:29,544 --> 00:05:31,978 Excuse me. Could I have everyone's attention, please? 84 00:05:33,715 --> 00:05:35,239 I just wanted to... 85 00:05:41,690 --> 00:05:44,386 Well, I thought since everyone was gathered... 86 00:05:44,559 --> 00:05:46,618 ...gathered already... 87 00:05:49,765 --> 00:05:51,130 Oh, my God. 88 00:05:52,567 --> 00:05:53,556 Oh, my God. 89 00:05:53,735 --> 00:05:55,669 - Sadie... - Oh, my God, oh, my God. 90 00:05:55,837 --> 00:05:57,464 ...Wilhelmina Jones. 91 00:05:59,274 --> 00:06:04,177 In front of God and your family... 92 00:06:04,513 --> 00:06:10,281 ...Kwan-Li, and Jerry and Otis and... 93 00:06:12,354 --> 00:06:14,549 I just want to know... 94 00:06:14,723 --> 00:06:17,692 ...if you would spend the rest of your life with me. 95 00:06:20,195 --> 00:06:21,253 But I don't... 96 00:06:21,430 --> 00:06:23,625 I don't want to put you on the spot or anything. 97 00:06:23,799 --> 00:06:28,759 Benjamin Murphy, I would marry you tomorrow in a potato-sack dress... 98 00:06:28,937 --> 00:06:33,340 ...in the middle of a rainstorm, if it meant I could spend the rest of my life with you. 99 00:06:38,914 --> 00:06:40,142 Wait a second. 100 00:06:41,149 --> 00:06:47,418 You choose our 30th wedding anniversary to propose to my daughter? 101 00:06:50,192 --> 00:06:51,659 Well... 102 00:06:52,160 --> 00:06:54,060 ...we couldn't be happier. 103 00:06:54,229 --> 00:06:56,356 Oh, my gosh. 104 00:06:56,531 --> 00:06:57,725 I know. 105 00:06:59,568 --> 00:07:01,536 New brother-in-law-to-be, I guess. 106 00:07:01,703 --> 00:07:03,830 - Oh, man. Hey, hello. - Awkward. 107 00:07:04,005 --> 00:07:05,870 - Welcome. - Thank you. 108 00:07:07,776 --> 00:07:09,903 - Welcome to the family, Ben. - Sir. All right! 109 00:07:10,078 --> 00:07:12,569 - Oh, my baby. - Oh, honey, I'm so happy for you. 110 00:07:12,747 --> 00:07:14,806 Look at this beautiful ring. 111 00:07:14,983 --> 00:07:17,042 Sadie, Sadie, I was thinking... 112 00:07:17,452 --> 00:07:21,081 I think we should have the wedding somewhere tropical. I was thinking, like... 113 00:07:21,256 --> 00:07:22,723 ...the Caribbean. 114 00:07:22,891 --> 00:07:24,620 I have this one thing. 115 00:07:26,761 --> 00:07:28,251 Okay. 116 00:07:28,430 --> 00:07:30,057 I always wanted to get married here. 117 00:07:31,466 --> 00:07:34,299 Here. What do you mean? 118 00:07:34,469 --> 00:07:35,697 At Saint Augustine's. 119 00:07:35,871 --> 00:07:39,363 It's this fantasy I've had since I was a little girl. 120 00:07:39,541 --> 00:07:41,406 It's the church where John and I married. 121 00:07:41,576 --> 00:07:44,841 Where Sadie was christened by Reverend Frank, who's known us forever. 122 00:07:45,013 --> 00:07:48,210 More importantly, it's the church Sadie's grandfather built. 123 00:07:49,484 --> 00:07:50,610 Her dead grandfather. 124 00:07:50,785 --> 00:07:54,721 Oh, give me a break. All he built was a door after it was stolen. 125 00:07:54,890 --> 00:07:56,983 How would you know? You weren't married there. 126 00:07:57,159 --> 00:07:59,286 And we all know how that marriage turned out. 127 00:07:59,461 --> 00:08:00,928 Mom! 128 00:08:01,096 --> 00:08:03,724 - Stop. - Here, here, here, here. 129 00:08:03,899 --> 00:08:06,265 Babe, you've made me so unbelievably happy today. 130 00:08:06,434 --> 00:08:07,423 You have no idea. 131 00:08:07,636 --> 00:08:09,001 - Great. - Yeah. 132 00:08:09,171 --> 00:08:11,765 Then Saint Augustine's... 133 00:08:11,940 --> 00:08:14,909 ...is the decision. - Thank you, I love you. 134 00:08:15,210 --> 00:08:17,235 - You ready? - I'm missing a shoe. 135 00:08:17,412 --> 00:08:19,972 - Well, where did you last see it? - I don't know. 136 00:08:20,148 --> 00:08:22,639 You know, Ben, your sweater's actually inside out? 137 00:08:22,817 --> 00:08:24,808 Gotta fix that. 138 00:08:24,986 --> 00:08:26,317 What would you do without me? 139 00:08:26,488 --> 00:08:28,854 You want the short list or the long list? 140 00:08:29,024 --> 00:08:30,889 Oh, and your belt? 141 00:08:31,059 --> 00:08:33,118 - It's a little funny. - No, my belt's fine. 142 00:08:35,063 --> 00:08:36,087 Wait a minute. 143 00:08:36,264 --> 00:08:38,289 - We're gonna be really late. - No, we're not. 144 00:08:38,466 --> 00:08:39,694 Yeah, we are. 145 00:08:39,868 --> 00:08:41,893 And your point is? 146 00:08:50,545 --> 00:08:51,773 How do I look? 147 00:08:51,947 --> 00:08:54,575 - You look like you've just been... - All right, never mind. 148 00:08:54,749 --> 00:08:56,580 We're so going to hell, you know that? 149 00:08:56,751 --> 00:09:00,517 - Hey, here's the door Grandpa built. - Wow, he does really good work. 150 00:09:16,338 --> 00:09:18,169 Don't touch that! 151 00:09:18,506 --> 00:09:20,269 Jesus! You scared me. 152 00:09:20,709 --> 00:09:23,200 Jesus didn't scare you, I did. 153 00:09:24,112 --> 00:09:27,548 - Hi, I'm Sadie... - Sadie Jones. Yes, I know. 154 00:09:27,716 --> 00:09:29,513 You have a 10:30 with Reverend Frank. 155 00:09:29,718 --> 00:09:31,015 Yeah. Is he here? 156 00:09:31,920 --> 00:09:33,547 Reverend Frank is everywhere. 157 00:09:33,722 --> 00:09:35,383 Follow me. 158 00:09:39,995 --> 00:09:41,724 "Dear ELLE magazine: 159 00:09:41,896 --> 00:09:44,387 I just found out that my husband of three months... 160 00:09:44,566 --> 00:09:47,034 ...is cheating on me with my best friend. 161 00:09:47,202 --> 00:09:51,104 Half of me wants to kill him, the other half wants to salvage my marriage. 162 00:09:51,273 --> 00:09:52,331 What to do?" 163 00:09:52,507 --> 00:09:53,496 Yikes. 164 00:09:53,675 --> 00:09:55,939 What kind of sins are we dealing with here, guys? 165 00:09:56,111 --> 00:09:58,443 - Sarah. - Thou shall not commit adultery? 166 00:09:58,613 --> 00:10:01,707 Adultery. Going out for milk when you have jugs at home. 167 00:10:01,883 --> 00:10:03,976 Show me adultery! 168 00:10:05,420 --> 00:10:07,752 Not neat to cheat! Okay! 169 00:10:07,922 --> 00:10:09,480 Now, a lot of people ask me: 170 00:10:09,658 --> 00:10:12,456 "What if I'm cheating with a woman who's really, really ugly? 171 00:10:12,627 --> 00:10:13,958 Does that make it all right?" 172 00:10:14,129 --> 00:10:16,893 No, it does not make it all right. It is still a sin. 173 00:10:17,399 --> 00:10:19,094 What other sins? Anybody? 174 00:10:19,267 --> 00:10:22,031 Don't hesitate to draw on your parents' bad examples. 175 00:10:22,203 --> 00:10:25,331 - Laurie. Bring it, girl. - Thou shall not covet thy neighbor's wife. 176 00:10:25,540 --> 00:10:28,873 Starts with coveting, ends with the clap. 177 00:10:29,044 --> 00:10:30,978 Okay, coveting thy neighbor's wife. 178 00:10:31,146 --> 00:10:34,081 That's why God invented the cold shower. Show me coveting! 179 00:10:36,885 --> 00:10:38,375 Good one, Laurie! 180 00:10:38,553 --> 00:10:41,818 Okay, there's one answer left on the board. Let's see. 181 00:10:41,990 --> 00:10:43,355 Manny. 182 00:10:45,627 --> 00:10:47,458 Make your two moms proud. 183 00:10:49,597 --> 00:10:52,691 Come on, Manny, you can murder this one. 184 00:10:53,635 --> 00:10:57,662 While I'm waiting, maybe I'll just fashion a shiv out of Cindy's barrette. 185 00:10:59,741 --> 00:11:02,107 Take a stab at it. 186 00:11:04,512 --> 00:11:06,139 Thou shall not kill? 187 00:11:06,581 --> 00:11:08,811 Boom, Manny! Bang, bang, bang! 188 00:11:10,118 --> 00:11:11,915 Show me thou shall not kill! 189 00:11:13,488 --> 00:11:16,355 Oh, good one, Manny! Manny, Manny, Manny. 190 00:11:16,524 --> 00:11:17,650 That's it for today. 191 00:11:17,826 --> 00:11:20,056 Next we're gonna take a trip to Arlington Park. 192 00:11:20,228 --> 00:11:23,026 We're gonna find out about the evils of gambling firsthand. 193 00:11:23,198 --> 00:11:24,825 So bring at least a dollar... 194 00:11:24,999 --> 00:11:28,332 ...and remember to ask Mom and Dad what a trifecta is. 195 00:11:31,940 --> 00:11:34,568 I don't know if you remember me, Reverend Frank, but... 196 00:11:34,743 --> 00:11:36,643 Sadie Jones? 197 00:11:36,811 --> 00:11:38,711 Little Sadie Jones. 198 00:11:38,880 --> 00:11:40,575 - How you've grown. - Well, yeah. 199 00:11:40,749 --> 00:11:43,183 And now my Sadie Jones is gonna tie the knot. 200 00:11:43,351 --> 00:11:44,340 I am. 201 00:11:44,519 --> 00:11:46,749 I'm sorry I haven't been around for the last... 202 00:11:46,921 --> 00:11:47,910 Ten years. 203 00:11:48,089 --> 00:11:49,078 Yeah. 204 00:11:49,257 --> 00:11:51,191 I've just been trying to get my business... 205 00:11:51,359 --> 00:11:52,690 Oh, please. 206 00:11:52,894 --> 00:11:55,158 You go to college, you have a bisexual roommate... 207 00:11:55,330 --> 00:11:57,161 ...you forget about God. Don't sweat it. 208 00:11:57,332 --> 00:11:58,629 He doesn't forget about you. 209 00:12:01,269 --> 00:12:02,759 Who are you? 210 00:12:03,605 --> 00:12:04,594 I'm Ben. 211 00:12:04,773 --> 00:12:05,762 - Ben. - Hi. 212 00:12:05,940 --> 00:12:08,636 So, what do you do, besides little Sadie here? 213 00:12:11,346 --> 00:12:12,335 How are you? 214 00:12:12,781 --> 00:12:15,682 All right, let's get the flock out of here. Come on. 215 00:12:15,850 --> 00:12:17,442 So, how long you two been an item? 216 00:12:17,619 --> 00:12:19,553 - About... - Like... 217 00:12:19,721 --> 00:12:21,552 Yeah! 218 00:12:23,658 --> 00:12:25,387 It's been teetering there for weeks. 219 00:12:25,560 --> 00:12:27,027 - Cheesy Curl? - No, thank you. 220 00:12:27,195 --> 00:12:29,186 Too bad, they're addicting. 221 00:12:33,201 --> 00:12:34,930 - Booked. - Booked. Booked. 222 00:12:35,103 --> 00:12:36,695 Nothing there or there. 223 00:12:36,871 --> 00:12:38,202 I am popular. 224 00:12:38,373 --> 00:12:40,364 Yes, you are. 225 00:12:41,176 --> 00:12:43,872 All full. Not looking good. No. 226 00:12:45,213 --> 00:12:48,011 No, no, no. 227 00:12:48,183 --> 00:12:51,380 - Nope, nope, nope. - Booked, booked, booked. 228 00:13:00,595 --> 00:13:02,119 Bad news, guys. 229 00:13:02,297 --> 00:13:04,891 - Next available date is in two years. - Two years? 230 00:13:05,934 --> 00:13:06,923 That's... 231 00:13:07,602 --> 00:13:09,365 ...so long. - Yeah. 232 00:13:10,371 --> 00:13:11,963 Wait. 233 00:13:12,407 --> 00:13:14,705 - Hold on, hold on. - Wasn't there a cancellation? 234 00:13:15,376 --> 00:13:17,742 - I think it's... - There, there! 235 00:13:17,912 --> 00:13:19,072 Yes, there it is. 236 00:13:19,247 --> 00:13:21,340 Three weeks from tomorrow, how is that? 237 00:13:23,384 --> 00:13:25,784 That's a little quick. Right? I mean... 238 00:13:28,056 --> 00:13:30,388 Okay, I guess we're getting married in three weeks. 239 00:13:30,558 --> 00:13:32,253 Okay. 240 00:13:32,427 --> 00:13:33,724 - Just like that? - Yeah. 241 00:13:33,895 --> 00:13:37,854 - So it is written, so it shall be done. - So it shall be done. 242 00:13:38,099 --> 00:13:40,294 Oh, boy. 243 00:13:40,468 --> 00:13:42,129 All right. 244 00:13:42,403 --> 00:13:44,667 One small thing. 245 00:13:44,839 --> 00:13:48,400 Couple years ago I instituted a marriage preparation course here. 246 00:13:48,576 --> 00:13:51,272 The course is a prerequisite for all marriage ceremonies... 247 00:13:51,446 --> 00:13:53,778 ...performed on these grounds. 248 00:13:54,015 --> 00:13:56,677 At the end of the course, if I feel you're unprepared... 249 00:13:56,851 --> 00:14:01,413 ...or you stop the course before completion, I have the right to call off the wedding. 250 00:14:01,589 --> 00:14:06,049 I'm sorry, but this isn't mandatory, right? Because we're so ready to get married. 251 00:14:06,227 --> 00:14:08,320 - More than most. - We strongly advise it. 252 00:14:08,496 --> 00:14:10,589 In other words, you have no choice. 253 00:14:10,899 --> 00:14:12,594 With the divorce rate what it is... 254 00:14:12,767 --> 00:14:13,927 50 percent. 255 00:14:14,102 --> 00:14:16,297 Much higher for those who live together first. 256 00:14:16,638 --> 00:14:18,799 You did say you lived together, right? 257 00:14:20,341 --> 00:14:22,206 I'm sorry, who are you again? 258 00:14:22,377 --> 00:14:24,470 I'm part of the Ministers of Tomorrow program. 259 00:14:24,646 --> 00:14:26,341 Reverend Frank's my mentor. 260 00:14:26,514 --> 00:14:27,776 My little Mensa. 261 00:14:27,949 --> 00:14:29,814 - I can see. - Listen, kids. 262 00:14:29,984 --> 00:14:32,646 We wanna make sure you are making the right decision... 263 00:14:32,820 --> 00:14:35,288 ...because your future happiness depends on it. 264 00:14:35,456 --> 00:14:37,617 Reverend Frank has a hundred percent success... 265 00:14:37,792 --> 00:14:39,987 ...for those that make it through the course. 266 00:14:40,161 --> 00:14:42,629 - But what about the people who...? - Okay, we'll do it. 267 00:14:43,831 --> 00:14:45,890 - We're gonna do it. - We're doing that? 268 00:14:46,067 --> 00:14:47,534 - It's awesome. - We're doing this. 269 00:14:47,735 --> 00:14:48,793 That's my Sadie. 270 00:14:49,470 --> 00:14:53,031 All right, we have three months of prep to cram into three weeks. 271 00:14:53,207 --> 00:14:54,697 There's only a few rules. 272 00:14:54,876 --> 00:14:57,777 Rule number one: you each have to write your own vows. 273 00:14:57,946 --> 00:15:00,141 You have a booklet, and you share these vows... 274 00:15:00,315 --> 00:15:02,510 ...with each other at the ceremony. 275 00:15:03,551 --> 00:15:05,815 - That's really cool. - Isn't it? 276 00:15:05,987 --> 00:15:07,454 Okay. What's rule number two? 277 00:15:07,622 --> 00:15:09,988 Starting immediately, no sex until the honeymoon. 278 00:15:11,993 --> 00:15:13,620 I... 279 00:15:19,400 --> 00:15:20,492 Are you serious? 280 00:15:21,069 --> 00:15:22,366 Oh, yeah. 281 00:15:24,606 --> 00:15:26,267 Tomorrow morning, bright and early. 282 00:15:26,441 --> 00:15:27,430 Be there. 283 00:15:27,609 --> 00:15:29,338 We all remember the 11 th Commandment. 284 00:15:29,510 --> 00:15:30,738 I don't. 285 00:15:31,646 --> 00:15:33,341 Thou shall not be late. 286 00:15:36,884 --> 00:15:39,182 We've got a hundred things to start, but it's doable. 287 00:15:39,354 --> 00:15:41,447 I just have to get Carlisle on the phone. 288 00:15:41,623 --> 00:15:45,457 - He was kidding about the no-sex thing? - Carlisle? It's me. Get ready for this. 289 00:15:45,627 --> 00:15:48,187 - We will talk about the no-sex thing later. - Okay, Ben. 290 00:15:48,363 --> 00:15:50,092 No sex? 291 00:15:50,264 --> 00:15:53,165 That's supposed to happen after you get married. 292 00:15:53,534 --> 00:15:54,558 Joel, I come here... 293 00:15:54,736 --> 00:15:57,068 ...for your compassion. - I'm just giving you shit. 294 00:15:57,238 --> 00:15:59,729 Congratulations. You are going to love marriage. 295 00:15:59,907 --> 00:16:01,807 Damn it, Joel. What is wrong with you? 296 00:16:01,976 --> 00:16:04,103 You were supposed to be watching them. 297 00:16:04,278 --> 00:16:05,905 Shelly, baby, I'm on the roof. 298 00:16:06,080 --> 00:16:08,742 Remember we said you won't bother me when I'm on the roof? 299 00:16:08,916 --> 00:16:11,009 - You're always on the roof. - Exactly. 300 00:16:11,185 --> 00:16:12,982 - I heard that. - Yeah. 301 00:16:13,154 --> 00:16:15,019 Where did this mud hole even come from? 302 00:16:15,189 --> 00:16:17,885 Oh, my God, I am so getting my tubes tied. 303 00:16:18,059 --> 00:16:22,223 This reverend says he wants me to meet him after church tomorrow one-on-one. 304 00:16:22,997 --> 00:16:24,589 What is that? 305 00:16:24,766 --> 00:16:26,757 You ever done that? The marriage prep stuff? 306 00:16:26,934 --> 00:16:29,994 To tell you the truth, I don't remember anything before D-day, man. 307 00:16:30,638 --> 00:16:32,196 It's like a black hole. 308 00:16:32,373 --> 00:16:34,807 All I know is that's my wife... 309 00:16:34,976 --> 00:16:36,637 ...apparently those are my kids... 310 00:16:36,811 --> 00:16:39,609 ...and this, this is my beer. 311 00:16:39,781 --> 00:16:42,511 Everything else is pretty much a blur. 312 00:16:43,117 --> 00:16:44,209 Yeah. 313 00:16:45,086 --> 00:16:46,348 Thank you. 314 00:16:46,521 --> 00:16:48,011 That's why you're my best man. 315 00:16:49,123 --> 00:16:50,920 Two words for your bachelor party: 316 00:16:51,092 --> 00:16:52,650 Strippers and Sizzler. 317 00:16:54,195 --> 00:16:56,095 I like to call it "beef and booty." 318 00:16:56,264 --> 00:16:58,357 I heard that. 319 00:17:00,601 --> 00:17:01,590 Oh, boy. 320 00:17:07,341 --> 00:17:09,571 Please, God, let somebody be later than us. 321 00:17:09,744 --> 00:17:14,044 Hey. We'll just sneak in the back, no one will notice. 322 00:17:14,449 --> 00:17:16,007 We also ask... 323 00:17:16,184 --> 00:17:20,211 ...that you watch over the Mansbridge meat packers and their labor dispute. 324 00:17:20,388 --> 00:17:23,983 Grant our packers patience as they await an amicable resolution... 325 00:17:24,392 --> 00:17:27,793 ...with, Lord willing, a four to six percent pay increase... 326 00:17:27,962 --> 00:17:29,793 ...and dental would be nice. 327 00:17:34,836 --> 00:17:37,464 Look who decided to show. 328 00:17:39,807 --> 00:17:42,742 Choir! Let me hear it! 329 00:17:42,944 --> 00:17:46,607 You're late, you're late You're late, you're late 330 00:17:46,781 --> 00:17:49,978 God's on time 331 00:17:50,151 --> 00:17:53,780 But you are very late 332 00:17:55,623 --> 00:17:58,717 It's your first offense. We'll let it slide. 333 00:17:58,960 --> 00:18:02,020 It happens again, I'm telling the Big Guy. 334 00:18:02,196 --> 00:18:05,097 And I'm not talking about Larry Carmichael over there on drums. 335 00:18:06,501 --> 00:18:08,366 But seriously... 336 00:18:08,736 --> 00:18:11,204 ...let us re-pray. 337 00:18:12,440 --> 00:18:15,739 Sorry for bailing, Lord. A brief interruption, but we're back. 338 00:18:15,910 --> 00:18:17,810 We'd also like to pray for Walter... 339 00:18:17,979 --> 00:18:20,243 ...recently returned from his holiday in Thailand. 340 00:18:20,414 --> 00:18:22,075 Let's hope it's just a heat rash. 341 00:18:23,017 --> 00:18:25,247 - Vivian. - I don't know how you do it, Frank. 342 00:18:25,419 --> 00:18:27,546 Every week your sermons get better and better. 343 00:18:27,722 --> 00:18:31,055 It comes from upstairs, Vivian. I'm just the TiVo. 344 00:18:31,759 --> 00:18:33,124 It wasn't that good. 345 00:18:33,294 --> 00:18:34,454 - You ready? - Yeah. 346 00:18:35,763 --> 00:18:37,560 I have to go. I have stuff to do... 347 00:18:37,732 --> 00:18:40,098 ...but you guys enjoy your man-talk, okay? 348 00:18:40,268 --> 00:18:42,327 Don't say anything about me behind my back. 349 00:18:42,503 --> 00:18:45,028 You'll never know so... 350 00:18:45,506 --> 00:18:46,666 Tight. 351 00:18:46,841 --> 00:18:48,433 - Sorry? - The car. 352 00:18:48,943 --> 00:18:51,207 - Hi. - Bye. 353 00:18:52,213 --> 00:18:54,238 You ready? A little one-on-one? 354 00:18:54,415 --> 00:18:56,076 - Yeah. - Come on. Let's go. 355 00:18:56,250 --> 00:18:58,013 The name of our team is the Crusaders. 356 00:18:58,186 --> 00:19:02,350 I didn't want to tell the kids about the Children's Crusades, it bums them out. 357 00:19:02,523 --> 00:19:04,548 Wow, you really meant one-on-one. 358 00:19:04,725 --> 00:19:06,317 Oh, yeah. 359 00:19:06,694 --> 00:19:08,025 - A little hoops? - No. 360 00:19:08,196 --> 00:19:09,322 This ball needs Viagra. 361 00:19:10,765 --> 00:19:12,426 - Play catch? - Sure, love catch. 362 00:19:12,600 --> 00:19:14,830 It's my favorite sport. 363 00:19:15,002 --> 00:19:17,266 Pardon the glove. We've had a few budget cutbacks. 364 00:19:17,438 --> 00:19:19,099 - Oh, that's all right. - Back up. 365 00:19:19,674 --> 00:19:20,902 Okay. 366 00:19:21,075 --> 00:19:23,600 What are you, a little girl's softball league? Back up. 367 00:19:23,778 --> 00:19:25,177 Okay. Not a little girl. 368 00:19:25,346 --> 00:19:26,677 - Yeah. - All right. 369 00:19:26,848 --> 00:19:28,713 It's nice to be able to chat with you... 370 00:19:28,883 --> 00:19:32,114 ...without all this "I'm a pastor who can send you to hell" nonsense. 371 00:19:32,520 --> 00:19:33,714 No, me too. This is great. 372 00:19:33,888 --> 00:19:36,152 Little one-on-one time with your spiritual elder. 373 00:19:37,091 --> 00:19:39,025 Bless you, Benjamin. 374 00:19:40,161 --> 00:19:42,629 - Too hard? - No. That's a... 375 00:19:42,797 --> 00:19:44,492 That's a good burn. Right? 376 00:19:44,665 --> 00:19:47,395 Anything that's painful makes you stronger. 377 00:19:47,568 --> 00:19:50,435 Not really. You break your leg, your leg doesn't get stronger. 378 00:19:50,605 --> 00:19:52,800 God is just, but God is kind. 379 00:19:54,842 --> 00:19:56,867 That's a nice sentiment. 380 00:19:57,645 --> 00:19:59,340 Thank you. Can I ask you something? 381 00:19:59,513 --> 00:20:01,003 - Sure. - Sadie. 382 00:20:01,182 --> 00:20:02,774 Why do you love her? 383 00:20:04,085 --> 00:20:05,916 There's just so many reasons, you know? 384 00:20:06,087 --> 00:20:08,555 She's beautiful, inside and out. 385 00:20:08,723 --> 00:20:10,418 So, I'm lucky. 386 00:20:10,591 --> 00:20:12,650 What do you mean by "inside"? 387 00:20:13,828 --> 00:20:15,352 You meant spiritually, right? 388 00:20:15,529 --> 00:20:17,224 Yep. Exactly. 389 00:20:17,398 --> 00:20:19,423 Okay. What else? 390 00:20:21,269 --> 00:20:25,035 She's just smart, you know? She's motivated, she's well-organized. 391 00:20:25,206 --> 00:20:27,106 She's probably the hardest worker I know. 392 00:20:28,175 --> 00:20:31,042 Well, let me get this straight, then. Correct me if I'm wrong. 393 00:20:31,212 --> 00:20:34,340 First thing you like about her is her looks. But you really think... 394 00:20:34,515 --> 00:20:36,881 ...she's a cute control freak. - I didn't say that. 395 00:20:37,051 --> 00:20:41,647 - I know what you're getting at. - "Organized" is code for OCD. 396 00:20:41,822 --> 00:20:43,380 OCD is a... 397 00:20:43,557 --> 00:20:44,649 God! 398 00:20:46,661 --> 00:20:48,788 Oh, my Lord. 399 00:20:49,397 --> 00:20:50,762 - You okay, big fella? - Yeah. 400 00:20:50,932 --> 00:20:52,092 Oh, yeah? 401 00:20:52,266 --> 00:20:53,733 - How you doing... - Totally fine. 402 00:20:53,901 --> 00:20:56,392 Let's see that. Come on. Oh, no. That's bad. 403 00:20:56,570 --> 00:20:57,867 I'm gonna have to heal you. 404 00:20:58,439 --> 00:21:00,703 - No, that's okay. - No. I'm gonna have to heal you. 405 00:21:00,875 --> 00:21:03,241 - I just need Advil. - It's healing time. Stay down. 406 00:21:03,411 --> 00:21:05,345 Stay down. It's healing time. 407 00:21:05,780 --> 00:21:07,509 - What's that mean? - Oh, Jesus Christ. 408 00:21:07,682 --> 00:21:10,708 Oh, Lord, surround him with your light and grace. 409 00:21:10,885 --> 00:21:12,409 Lord have mercy! 410 00:21:12,586 --> 00:21:14,918 - The power of Christ compels you! - Lord have mercy. 411 00:21:15,089 --> 00:21:16,716 The power of Christ compels you! 412 00:21:16,891 --> 00:21:19,223 - We have got to pray! - Pray! 413 00:21:19,393 --> 00:21:20,951 - We have got to pray! - Pray! 414 00:21:21,128 --> 00:21:23,255 We have got to pray to make it through the day! 415 00:21:23,831 --> 00:21:24,855 Is that MC Hammer? 416 00:21:25,266 --> 00:21:28,258 - You're healed, right? - Let me see. Let me see. 417 00:21:28,436 --> 00:21:31,803 - No, it's still bleeding. - Let's go old school. 418 00:21:34,075 --> 00:21:36,339 Begone, demon spirit! 419 00:21:36,510 --> 00:21:38,239 Begone! 420 00:21:39,480 --> 00:21:42,472 - That's not helping at all. - Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. 421 00:21:42,650 --> 00:21:44,277 Lord, take him up upon your wing... 422 00:21:44,452 --> 00:21:47,012 - Wait, take me where? - lf you believed, you'd be healed. 423 00:21:47,188 --> 00:21:48,587 - Do you believe? - Believe! 424 00:21:48,756 --> 00:21:50,849 - Believe! - I'm healed, I'm healed, I'm healed. 425 00:21:51,025 --> 00:21:53,789 - Oh, it's a miracle! It's a miracle! - It is. It is. 426 00:21:53,961 --> 00:21:56,259 You're not healed. I'm not a doctor, I'm a pastor. 427 00:21:56,430 --> 00:21:59,263 You know what you need? Advil and ice. Come on. 428 00:21:59,433 --> 00:22:03,369 - Check him out, just see that he's okay. - The nasal septum and concha are clear. 429 00:22:03,537 --> 00:22:07,029 - Good news, kid. Your nose is fine. - Yeah, come on. Let me buy you a Coke. 430 00:22:07,208 --> 00:22:09,642 Sorry about that. You know, I have to try that stuff. 431 00:22:09,810 --> 00:22:12,938 - Never works, but what if it had? - Yeah. 432 00:22:13,114 --> 00:22:14,911 - Wouldn't that be crazy? - Crazy. 433 00:22:16,150 --> 00:22:18,209 It was great. 434 00:22:18,386 --> 00:22:20,980 Yes, totally. Reverend Frank is the best. 435 00:22:21,155 --> 00:22:24,181 Listen, tomorrow night, I was th... 436 00:22:24,759 --> 00:22:27,819 Group counseling for what? 437 00:22:33,334 --> 00:22:34,699 Okay, like we do every week. 438 00:22:34,869 --> 00:22:37,531 Danny, pick up Tenika and carry her across that threshold. 439 00:22:37,705 --> 00:22:39,002 Yeah, that's it! 440 00:22:39,173 --> 00:22:41,505 Try and think of it like the first time. 441 00:22:41,675 --> 00:22:43,802 For a lot of you, that wasn't the honeymoon. 442 00:22:45,279 --> 00:22:47,679 Yeah, baby. Come on, Jim. 443 00:22:47,848 --> 00:22:49,008 My back is giving out. 444 00:22:49,183 --> 00:22:50,377 Don't focus on the pain. 445 00:22:50,551 --> 00:22:53,679 Look at the love that Janine's giving you right now. 446 00:22:53,854 --> 00:22:56,448 And if that doesn't work, think about potato skins. 447 00:22:56,991 --> 00:22:58,982 God, I love potato skins. 448 00:22:59,160 --> 00:23:01,287 A husband will do anything for appetizers. 449 00:23:01,462 --> 00:23:02,520 Yes. 450 00:23:04,231 --> 00:23:06,859 Everybody, I want to introduce you to two new members. 451 00:23:07,034 --> 00:23:09,901 This is Ben and Sadie. They're getting married in three weeks. 452 00:23:10,071 --> 00:23:12,505 Ben, why don't you carry Sadie across the threshold? 453 00:23:13,074 --> 00:23:14,598 Come on. 454 00:23:14,975 --> 00:23:17,842 Come on. Yeah, come on. 455 00:23:18,679 --> 00:23:20,840 Yeah, there you go. Get across that threshold! 456 00:23:27,354 --> 00:23:29,049 Hurry. 457 00:23:29,890 --> 00:23:33,326 - Oh, great. - Look. 458 00:23:56,383 --> 00:23:58,112 Got it. 459 00:24:02,156 --> 00:24:03,316 Tonight... 460 00:24:03,491 --> 00:24:06,085 ...we learn how to fight fairly. 461 00:24:06,760 --> 00:24:07,749 Sorry. 462 00:24:07,928 --> 00:24:10,260 What if we've never had a fight before? 463 00:24:11,198 --> 00:24:13,666 - Seriously think I'm gonna puke. - Louise, no puking. 464 00:24:13,834 --> 00:24:16,496 They're young. They're allowed to be enthusiastic. 465 00:24:17,004 --> 00:24:19,404 Never had a fight, it's about time you had one. 466 00:24:19,573 --> 00:24:21,973 So please, step up to the top of the circle. 467 00:24:22,143 --> 00:24:24,008 Come on, get your butts up there! 468 00:24:24,178 --> 00:24:26,942 Let's get this perfect relationship on its feet. 469 00:24:27,114 --> 00:24:29,378 Put it to the test. Okay. 470 00:24:29,550 --> 00:24:31,245 I want you to imagine. 471 00:24:31,418 --> 00:24:33,818 You're driving in the mountains. It's nighttime. 472 00:24:33,988 --> 00:24:35,853 But there's a torrential downpour. 473 00:24:36,023 --> 00:24:37,752 That thing with the wipers like this: 474 00:24:38,425 --> 00:24:40,393 You're tired. You're lost. 475 00:24:40,794 --> 00:24:42,159 You're getting cranky. 476 00:24:42,630 --> 00:24:44,461 What was that? 477 00:24:44,632 --> 00:24:46,964 You got a flat tire because you just hit a pothole. 478 00:24:47,334 --> 00:24:49,529 Instant argument potential. 479 00:24:49,703 --> 00:24:51,432 What do you do? How do you handle it? 480 00:24:52,072 --> 00:24:54,006 I think we'd probably just call AAA. 481 00:24:55,242 --> 00:24:58,678 Out of cell phone range. Can't use the cell phone. Can't call AAA. 482 00:24:58,846 --> 00:25:02,043 You gotta handle it the old-fashioned way. You gotta change the tire. 483 00:25:02,216 --> 00:25:05,083 You're pissed at each other. Go. 484 00:25:07,922 --> 00:25:11,119 Sorry I didn't see that pothole. 485 00:25:11,592 --> 00:25:13,116 It's okay, honey. 486 00:25:13,294 --> 00:25:16,263 Accidents happen, so just be more careful next time. 487 00:25:16,430 --> 00:25:18,489 - Promise I will. - Cut! 488 00:25:18,666 --> 00:25:21,726 You guys travel medicated? That was like "Prozac Takes a Vacation." 489 00:25:21,902 --> 00:25:23,597 That's not what we're looking for. 490 00:25:23,771 --> 00:25:27,867 Janine, why don't you and Jimbo show them how this argument should play out? 491 00:25:28,042 --> 00:25:29,532 Sure. 492 00:25:33,981 --> 00:25:35,448 Hey, jackass! 493 00:25:35,616 --> 00:25:38,881 I told you to take Route 45, but again, you didn't listen! 494 00:25:39,053 --> 00:25:43,319 Now it's pissing down outside and we're stuck God only knows where. 495 00:25:43,490 --> 00:25:46,391 Yeah, well, if we hadn't left three hours late... 496 00:25:46,560 --> 00:25:50,519 ...because someone was talking to her ball-busting mother on the phone... 497 00:25:51,065 --> 00:25:53,659 ...well, then, maybe we wouldn't be in this position! 498 00:25:53,834 --> 00:25:56,359 You are a sad, sad man. 499 00:25:56,537 --> 00:25:59,665 You will not emasculate me anymore. 500 00:25:59,840 --> 00:26:02,001 - Go to hell! - No, you go to hell, Janine. 501 00:26:02,176 --> 00:26:05,407 - Go to hell. - Okay. Cut. 502 00:26:06,080 --> 00:26:08,048 Everybody, Jim and Janine. 503 00:26:10,351 --> 00:26:12,683 We're gonna try something a little different now. 504 00:26:12,853 --> 00:26:15,413 We're gonna do role reversal. 505 00:26:16,023 --> 00:26:17,354 All right. 506 00:26:17,524 --> 00:26:19,355 Sadie, I want you to be Ben. 507 00:26:19,526 --> 00:26:22,120 Ben, I want you to be Sadie. Come on. Step up there. 508 00:26:22,296 --> 00:26:23,957 Come on, get up! Yeah! 509 00:26:24,131 --> 00:26:26,395 - Oh, gosh. - Come on. 510 00:26:26,567 --> 00:26:28,034 You're gonna change the tire. 511 00:26:28,202 --> 00:26:29,999 Ben, tire's down here. 512 00:26:30,170 --> 00:26:32,434 You're down in that muck. Here's your lug wrench. 513 00:26:32,606 --> 00:26:34,767 The lugs are right here. But they're tight. 514 00:26:34,942 --> 00:26:38,844 They're rusty, they're old, all right? You can't get them off and you're angry... 515 00:26:39,013 --> 00:26:42,744 ...and you're cold, and you really... You wanna tear each other apart. 516 00:26:42,916 --> 00:26:44,406 Go. 517 00:26:46,353 --> 00:26:48,321 Don't you wish we were in cell-phone range? 518 00:26:48,489 --> 00:26:51,117 Then we could just call AAA like we always do. 519 00:26:51,292 --> 00:26:54,784 - Yeah, I don't know how we got so lost. - I don't either. 520 00:26:54,962 --> 00:26:57,021 Ben, maybe we wouldn't have gotten lost... 521 00:26:57,197 --> 00:27:01,361 ...if you had just followed the TripTik that I prepared three days in advance. 522 00:27:01,535 --> 00:27:04,834 Well, I thought that I was following the road signs pretty well. 523 00:27:05,005 --> 00:27:08,099 Just going with the flow, as usual. 524 00:27:09,677 --> 00:27:11,542 What was that? What was that last thing? 525 00:27:11,712 --> 00:27:14,875 I'm just going along for the ride. 526 00:27:15,049 --> 00:27:17,745 Who was? You. As me. 527 00:27:19,353 --> 00:27:21,685 Well, I'm not really sure how anything gets done... 528 00:27:21,855 --> 00:27:26,918 ...if people aren't following my very specific instructions, Ben. 529 00:27:27,227 --> 00:27:29,718 But I love it when you're in charge. 530 00:27:29,897 --> 00:27:33,298 That way I don't have to take too much responsibility, Sadie. 531 00:27:33,467 --> 00:27:37,335 Ben, don't you know that that's the only way things get done around here? 532 00:27:37,971 --> 00:27:40,030 That's how things get done around here? Good. 533 00:27:40,207 --> 00:27:41,606 I had no idea. 534 00:27:41,775 --> 00:27:43,709 - Thank you. - Want me to show you? 535 00:27:43,877 --> 00:27:47,108 - He said counter... - I think I have it under control! 536 00:27:51,151 --> 00:27:52,743 Dear Jesus! 537 00:27:52,920 --> 00:27:55,354 - Potato skins down! - Jim, Jim... 538 00:27:57,591 --> 00:27:59,923 Come on, everybody! 539 00:28:00,127 --> 00:28:02,721 Five-second rule! 540 00:28:03,497 --> 00:28:04,828 Janine! 541 00:28:06,367 --> 00:28:08,164 Okay. We'll pick up next week... 542 00:28:08,335 --> 00:28:10,667 ...with balancing the joint checking account. 543 00:28:17,478 --> 00:28:20,447 So are you writing your vows later or...? 544 00:28:20,614 --> 00:28:23,139 No, I finished earlier. 545 00:28:23,917 --> 00:28:26,545 Hey, what color white should we go with for the napkins? 546 00:28:26,720 --> 00:28:28,119 There's ivory... 547 00:28:28,288 --> 00:28:29,653 ...and timid. 548 00:28:30,691 --> 00:28:31,988 Ivory. 549 00:28:32,159 --> 00:28:37,119 I don't know, I kind of feel like it might clash with the pistachio in the centerpieces. 550 00:28:37,297 --> 00:28:42,132 All right, well, you know what? I'll just ask Carlisle tomorrow. 551 00:28:42,770 --> 00:28:45,705 Yeah, you know who else you could ask? Reverend Frank. 552 00:28:45,873 --> 00:28:47,568 Because he loves giving his opinion. 553 00:28:47,741 --> 00:28:49,208 Why do you say it like that? 554 00:28:49,376 --> 00:28:51,003 I don't know. Maybe because... 555 00:28:51,178 --> 00:28:53,646 ...he's just a little bit... - Knowledgeable. 556 00:28:53,814 --> 00:28:56,749 - Yeah. - "Intrusive." I was gonna go with intrusive. 557 00:28:58,352 --> 00:29:00,684 Ben, he's not intrusive, you know? He's just... 558 00:29:00,854 --> 00:29:03,721 ...observing our relationship right now. 559 00:29:04,057 --> 00:29:08,187 - Like a voyeur. - Reverend Frank is not like a voyeur. 560 00:29:08,395 --> 00:29:10,863 - A little bit. - No, he's not. 561 00:29:13,333 --> 00:29:15,858 What was that? What are you doing? 562 00:29:16,036 --> 00:29:17,731 Do you want to walk the midget? 563 00:29:17,905 --> 00:29:19,031 Course I do, but... 564 00:29:19,206 --> 00:29:23,108 ... I don't think we should, because it's against the rules until after the wedding. 565 00:29:24,044 --> 00:29:25,875 - Are you serious? - Yes. 566 00:29:26,246 --> 00:29:28,806 - You're actually following that rule? - Yeah. 567 00:29:28,982 --> 00:29:32,383 Because I want to pass the course. Don't you? 568 00:29:33,153 --> 00:29:35,713 - Yes, I want to pass the course. - So? 569 00:29:35,889 --> 00:29:40,121 So, I also want to play Pickle Me, Tickle Me with my really hot fiancée. 570 00:29:41,562 --> 00:29:43,052 Okay? 571 00:29:43,230 --> 00:29:45,960 - Come on. - What? 572 00:29:46,133 --> 00:29:47,430 No one else is gonna know. 573 00:29:47,601 --> 00:29:50,968 I'll know, Ben. I will know. So just... 574 00:29:51,138 --> 00:29:52,696 Just please... 575 00:29:52,873 --> 00:29:56,639 ...let's stick to the program for now. Okay? Thank you. 576 00:29:58,078 --> 00:30:00,308 Three weeks never killed anyone. 577 00:30:00,481 --> 00:30:02,346 Really? Has that ever been documented? 578 00:30:02,516 --> 00:30:04,006 Good night. 579 00:30:08,755 --> 00:30:10,586 Good night, Ben. 580 00:30:18,966 --> 00:30:21,764 Okay, I'm a cigar vendor... 581 00:30:23,437 --> 00:30:25,268 - What? - Go to bed. 582 00:30:25,439 --> 00:30:27,100 Thank you. 583 00:30:30,377 --> 00:30:32,140 What if I'm not tired? 584 00:30:32,813 --> 00:30:34,474 Yes! 585 00:30:34,648 --> 00:30:35,740 All clear. 586 00:30:35,916 --> 00:30:38,680 - What'd I miss? - None of your business. 587 00:30:38,852 --> 00:30:42,253 - But they're right on schedule. - Their optimism is touching. 588 00:30:42,422 --> 00:30:44,982 They remind me of the Anderson couple we had last month. 589 00:30:45,158 --> 00:30:47,217 Yeah. You know what time it is? 590 00:30:47,661 --> 00:30:49,026 Time to turn up the heat. 591 00:30:49,196 --> 00:30:51,596 It's time to build on the foundation we've set up. 592 00:30:52,799 --> 00:30:54,699 Remind me never to cross you. 593 00:31:04,444 --> 00:31:06,571 I mean, I'm really glad we're doing the course. 594 00:31:06,747 --> 00:31:09,272 I just wish Ben would take it more seriously, you know? 595 00:31:09,449 --> 00:31:11,417 What about these in my bouquet, Lindsey? 596 00:31:11,585 --> 00:31:12,813 No. 597 00:31:12,986 --> 00:31:14,283 No? 598 00:31:14,454 --> 00:31:19,084 I just want to feel some enthusiasm from him, or is that expecting too much? 599 00:31:19,259 --> 00:31:22,092 Sadie, you have so much to learn about men. 600 00:31:22,563 --> 00:31:24,258 Pink. 601 00:31:25,465 --> 00:31:28,161 Flowers by Sadie, Sadie speaking. 602 00:31:29,002 --> 00:31:30,526 Meet where? 603 00:31:30,704 --> 00:31:32,638 I didn't even want to take this course... 604 00:31:32,806 --> 00:31:35,331 ...and now she's following it to, like, the nth degree. 605 00:31:35,509 --> 00:31:38,376 Where are the cheerleaders? Shouldn't they be practicing too? 606 00:31:38,545 --> 00:31:41,844 Come on, Famaletti! Deny that baseline! 607 00:31:42,015 --> 00:31:44,643 Coach Murphy, you were right to put him on B-squad. 608 00:31:44,818 --> 00:31:47,548 - Get ready, Zach. - Or maybe I'm just overreacting. 609 00:31:47,721 --> 00:31:50,781 I mean, give and take, that's a part of every healthy relationship. 610 00:31:51,124 --> 00:31:52,250 Give and what? 611 00:31:52,426 --> 00:31:54,087 - Give and take. - Man, listen to me. 612 00:31:54,561 --> 00:31:58,122 Once a woman senses she has control, she'll tell a thousand of her friends. 613 00:31:58,298 --> 00:32:02,291 Then they'll want control too. "I want a little piece of this control stuff." 614 00:32:02,469 --> 00:32:06,599 Next thing you know, they'll be running companies and having their own offices. 615 00:32:06,773 --> 00:32:10,539 Do not set dangerous precedents for other men. 616 00:32:13,113 --> 00:32:14,774 Hello? 617 00:32:15,449 --> 00:32:16,438 Late for what? 618 00:32:16,617 --> 00:32:20,849 Welcome to Saint Catherine's Maternity, birthplace to over 4000 babies each year. 619 00:32:21,021 --> 00:32:24,115 That's almost 80 babies a week, and we've never misplaced one. 620 00:32:24,291 --> 00:32:25,280 Okay, maybe one. 621 00:32:26,026 --> 00:32:28,995 If you're shy, get your tubes tied now and call it a day. 622 00:32:29,162 --> 00:32:31,756 A woman in labor basically lies around almost naked... 623 00:32:31,932 --> 00:32:35,493 ...while dozens of doctors and nurses get a front row view of her wide open... 624 00:32:35,669 --> 00:32:38,001 Virginia! Put some gloves on those hands right now! 625 00:32:38,171 --> 00:32:39,729 We're not delivering pizzas here. 626 00:32:39,906 --> 00:32:43,467 Labor could last anywhere from a few hours to a few days. 627 00:32:44,177 --> 00:32:48,580 And that's not even counting the nine months of constipation leading up to it. 628 00:32:48,749 --> 00:32:50,444 Of course, there's always drugs... 629 00:32:50,617 --> 00:32:53,586 ...so you should figure out how you feel about that beforehand. 630 00:32:54,054 --> 00:32:55,419 l... Oh, God! 631 00:32:55,589 --> 00:32:58,217 And then be ready to toss that decision out the window... 632 00:32:58,392 --> 00:33:01,327 ...when the pain really kicks in. 633 00:33:02,229 --> 00:33:04,561 A woman in labor wouldn't even feel that. 634 00:33:04,731 --> 00:33:06,289 Good to know. 635 00:33:06,466 --> 00:33:07,455 Or that. 636 00:33:07,634 --> 00:33:08,896 This way. 637 00:33:09,069 --> 00:33:11,003 You squeamish, Ben? 638 00:33:11,505 --> 00:33:12,938 Little bit, I guess. 639 00:33:13,106 --> 00:33:16,007 You have to figure out if you're gonna be in the delivery room. 640 00:33:16,176 --> 00:33:17,700 Oh, yeah, of course he will be. 641 00:33:17,878 --> 00:33:18,867 Yes. 642 00:33:19,046 --> 00:33:21,310 Some men are so traumatized by the experience... 643 00:33:21,481 --> 00:33:24,450 ...they can never look at their wives the same again. 644 00:33:24,618 --> 00:33:26,142 Sexually, that is. 645 00:33:26,319 --> 00:33:28,981 Give me some slow, deep breaths. 646 00:33:29,156 --> 00:33:30,783 How many do you want to have? 647 00:33:30,957 --> 00:33:32,288 - Four? - Two? 648 00:33:33,427 --> 00:33:35,861 Big push. Big push. 649 00:33:36,029 --> 00:33:38,190 I need an epidural! 650 00:33:38,532 --> 00:33:41,797 Look at her! She's breathing fine! 651 00:33:42,102 --> 00:33:43,296 What about me? 652 00:33:45,439 --> 00:33:47,964 They say for a man to experience the equivalent pain... 653 00:33:48,141 --> 00:33:50,302 ...you'd have to pull your scrotum over your head. 654 00:33:51,478 --> 00:33:52,775 That was incredible. 655 00:33:52,946 --> 00:33:54,243 Glad you feel that way. 656 00:33:54,414 --> 00:33:56,905 Because now the real fun begins. 657 00:33:57,317 --> 00:33:59,046 Welcome to the world of parenting. 658 00:33:59,219 --> 00:34:02,382 - They breathe, they blink, they cry. - And they're all yours. 659 00:34:02,856 --> 00:34:06,292 Congratulations, you've just had twins. 660 00:34:09,863 --> 00:34:12,161 Look at how their little chests move up and down. 661 00:34:12,332 --> 00:34:15,699 Yeah. Their creepy little chests. 662 00:34:15,869 --> 00:34:18,667 And you really want four of these things? 663 00:34:19,206 --> 00:34:22,004 I think it'd be nice to have a big family, don't you? 664 00:34:22,175 --> 00:34:24,439 Yeah. No, no, definitely. 665 00:34:24,611 --> 00:34:25,635 Well, I mean... 666 00:34:25,812 --> 00:34:28,474 ...four might be kind of a big commitment. 667 00:34:33,587 --> 00:34:36,420 Okay, do you want to take that? 668 00:34:36,790 --> 00:34:40,590 No, you can do it. Come on. 669 00:34:43,630 --> 00:34:45,495 Just pat him on the back really gently. 670 00:34:45,665 --> 00:34:46,927 Okay. 671 00:34:47,100 --> 00:34:48,658 Poor little baby. 672 00:34:48,835 --> 00:34:52,032 Little creepy robot baby. 673 00:34:54,508 --> 00:34:56,100 Oh, my God! 674 00:34:58,378 --> 00:35:00,505 - God. - Hold on. 675 00:35:01,348 --> 00:35:02,679 - Here you go. - Stop, stop. 676 00:35:02,849 --> 00:35:04,714 Hold on, hold on. There you go. 677 00:35:04,885 --> 00:35:07,080 - There's some on his shirt too. - Okay. 678 00:35:07,254 --> 00:35:09,415 We can't forget to set the alarm for 8... 679 00:35:09,589 --> 00:35:12,422 ...because we're going to Macy's to register for the wedding. 680 00:35:12,592 --> 00:35:14,924 Wait, we're not bringing these with us, are we? 681 00:35:15,095 --> 00:35:17,962 Come on, can't we just, like, phone in our order or something? 682 00:35:18,131 --> 00:35:22,465 No, we're so jammed this week, tomorrow's the only day we can do it. 683 00:35:26,840 --> 00:35:29,070 Look at that. Fell back asleep. 684 00:35:29,876 --> 00:35:31,173 So I did it. 685 00:35:31,344 --> 00:35:34,006 Looks like this parenting thing isn't as hard as they say. 686 00:35:34,181 --> 00:35:35,978 See? You're a natural. 687 00:35:36,149 --> 00:35:37,138 Thanks. 688 00:35:37,317 --> 00:35:38,306 Night. 689 00:35:43,056 --> 00:35:46,025 Ben? Ben! 690 00:35:46,193 --> 00:35:47,956 Ben! 691 00:35:48,328 --> 00:35:49,488 Ben! 692 00:35:49,663 --> 00:35:51,722 Okay, I'm coming. 693 00:35:51,898 --> 00:35:53,661 What? Hi. 694 00:35:53,834 --> 00:35:56,598 How many times do I have to knock, man? How you doing? 695 00:35:56,803 --> 00:35:58,065 - Good. - Good morning. 696 00:35:58,238 --> 00:36:00,035 - Shelly's dad fell off a ladder. - What? 697 00:36:00,207 --> 00:36:02,869 And unfortunately, he's gonna make it. So we have to go... 698 00:36:03,043 --> 00:36:05,307 ...and you are on brat patrol for a couple hours. 699 00:36:05,478 --> 00:36:07,446 Thank you. Appreciate it. Thanks a million. 700 00:36:14,221 --> 00:36:16,246 Hi. 701 00:36:16,857 --> 00:36:18,916 Which one's the biter? 702 00:36:19,092 --> 00:36:22,960 All you have to do is point the gun at the item you want and then pull the trigger. 703 00:36:23,129 --> 00:36:26,997 The computer instantly logs it in our registry database for your guests to consider. 704 00:36:27,167 --> 00:36:29,499 There's no limit to how many items I can choose? 705 00:36:29,669 --> 00:36:31,694 - When in doubt, zap it. - Great. 706 00:36:31,872 --> 00:36:33,499 We only have a couple hours so... 707 00:36:33,673 --> 00:36:36,039 Chop-chop. Come on. 708 00:36:36,776 --> 00:36:39,768 Okay. All right. Yep. 709 00:36:39,946 --> 00:36:41,777 Guys, guys, guys, slow down, slow down. 710 00:36:41,948 --> 00:36:43,848 Hey. All right, that's good. 711 00:36:44,017 --> 00:36:47,544 Now we're going faster. Stop, stop. Hello? 712 00:36:47,721 --> 00:36:48,983 All right, guys. All right. 713 00:36:49,155 --> 00:36:52,682 The yelling needs to hold off. All right. 714 00:36:53,393 --> 00:36:56,021 Hey, Ben, what do you like better? The blue or the beige? 715 00:36:56,196 --> 00:36:57,788 The beige or the blue? 716 00:36:57,964 --> 00:37:00,398 - I like the blue. Blue's good. - Beige goes better... 717 00:37:00,567 --> 00:37:01,795 ...with the placemats. 718 00:37:02,235 --> 00:37:03,998 Or beige. Let's just do beige. 719 00:37:04,170 --> 00:37:05,637 I love beige. 720 00:37:06,239 --> 00:37:07,866 Beige it is. 721 00:37:17,183 --> 00:37:18,946 - Do you like this one? - It's great. 722 00:37:19,119 --> 00:37:22,145 - All right, let's get this one. - Yeah, let's get a couple. 723 00:37:24,791 --> 00:37:26,986 Oh, I just got this text message from Carlisle. 724 00:37:27,160 --> 00:37:28,684 I got the wrong dinnerware. 725 00:37:28,862 --> 00:37:31,695 - Do you mean silverware? Can we just go? - No, dinnerware. 726 00:37:34,000 --> 00:37:36,764 - No way. That is not simulated. - God, that's bad. 727 00:37:38,772 --> 00:37:40,706 Well, why don't you change the diaper... 728 00:37:40,874 --> 00:37:42,466 ...and I'll go get the dinnerware? 729 00:37:42,642 --> 00:37:45,270 - Why don't we think about... - Okay. 730 00:37:49,649 --> 00:37:50,673 Okay. 731 00:38:25,151 --> 00:38:26,709 Yeah. 732 00:38:29,689 --> 00:38:31,782 Stop! Oh, God! 733 00:38:31,958 --> 00:38:34,119 Stop, stop! 734 00:38:35,295 --> 00:38:38,526 Should we get the 500-thread count? Ben, can you slow down a little bit? 735 00:38:38,698 --> 00:38:40,791 Oh, I'm trying. 736 00:38:45,972 --> 00:38:47,371 Oh, my God. 737 00:38:47,540 --> 00:38:48,564 Sorry. Ben? 738 00:38:48,742 --> 00:38:50,676 - Give me one, please? - Will you take that? 739 00:38:50,844 --> 00:38:52,311 I'm gonna give you one. 740 00:38:52,479 --> 00:38:55,846 - I will help you by getting this one thing... - I'm sorry. 741 00:38:56,016 --> 00:38:57,711 Guys, guys, guys, it's okay. 742 00:38:59,552 --> 00:39:01,179 - Come here. Come on, come on. - Okay. 743 00:39:01,354 --> 00:39:03,652 Ben, don't drop him! 744 00:39:03,823 --> 00:39:05,654 Here, take the kids. Come on, come on. 745 00:39:05,825 --> 00:39:07,315 Boys, let's go. Come on. 746 00:39:07,494 --> 00:39:10,725 Hi, I'm looking for some Pima cotton or Egyptian cotton sheets. 747 00:39:10,897 --> 00:39:13,297 Something that really seems to breathe. I'm sorry. 748 00:39:13,466 --> 00:39:16,697 I can't seem to find them over there and I have... 749 00:39:16,870 --> 00:39:19,430 Get off the bed. All right. 750 00:39:21,408 --> 00:39:22,875 Get off the bed. 751 00:39:23,043 --> 00:39:26,604 Enough. Okay, enough. No, no. Okay. Stop! 752 00:39:26,780 --> 00:39:29,476 No, no, no. Guys, no, no, no. 753 00:39:29,649 --> 00:39:33,346 Just stop. Sorry. It's fine. It's just a... 754 00:39:33,520 --> 00:39:34,851 Stop. 755 00:39:36,990 --> 00:39:40,016 Stop it! Stop, you stupid... Shut up! 756 00:39:40,193 --> 00:39:45,460 Just shut up, shut up, shut up! Shut up, shut up! Shut it! Shut it! 757 00:39:45,632 --> 00:39:48,226 - Hey! What the hell are you doing?! - I'm sorry. 758 00:39:48,601 --> 00:39:50,660 Thank God. I've had a long day. 759 00:39:50,837 --> 00:39:53,305 These are fake. Watch. See? 760 00:39:55,275 --> 00:39:56,765 No, no, no, we're on our way. 761 00:39:56,943 --> 00:40:01,141 We just got a little detained at Macy's. Well, Ben did. 762 00:40:01,314 --> 00:40:03,544 For being a public nuisance. 763 00:40:03,716 --> 00:40:05,707 It's a long story. 764 00:40:05,885 --> 00:40:09,116 Okay. Bye. 765 00:40:10,156 --> 00:40:11,453 Well, I'll tell you... 766 00:40:11,624 --> 00:40:14,616 ...l'm a lot more prepared for kids now. 767 00:40:15,095 --> 00:40:16,153 Like way more. 768 00:40:16,329 --> 00:40:19,958 Why are there 56 bras on here? 769 00:40:39,419 --> 00:40:41,819 Pour a glass of that for yourself. Have a glass. 770 00:40:41,988 --> 00:40:45,651 All right, I got it. This is it. You, my dear, look amazing. 771 00:40:47,527 --> 00:40:49,358 I can't believe all these cheeses. 772 00:40:49,529 --> 00:40:52,020 I know. I don't even know which to start with. 773 00:40:52,198 --> 00:40:54,826 - There are so many. - It's funny. Cheez Whiz or Velveeta. 774 00:40:55,001 --> 00:40:57,970 That's about as complicated as my cheese dilemmas usually get. 775 00:40:58,138 --> 00:41:01,369 I think I prefer the nutty Comté Saint-Antoine, which is this one. 776 00:41:01,541 --> 00:41:03,805 - All right, this is it? - From the Basque region... 777 00:41:03,977 --> 00:41:06,878 ...and go. Gonna change your life. 778 00:41:07,046 --> 00:41:10,948 - Oh, my God. Carlisle. - Oh, my God. Carlisle. Wait a minute. 779 00:41:11,117 --> 00:41:14,609 Ben, Carlisle's totally right. I mean, this nutty cheese is the way to go. 780 00:41:14,787 --> 00:41:16,652 It's so good. You have to try it. 781 00:41:16,823 --> 00:41:20,657 - The white one? Good. - You were right. You recommended it too. 782 00:41:21,861 --> 00:41:23,954 - Hey, everybody. - Hey! 783 00:41:24,697 --> 00:41:27,495 Every time I hear the word "cheese us," I'm in. 784 00:41:27,667 --> 00:41:29,157 Praise Gouda. 785 00:41:31,004 --> 00:41:33,404 Look at all of you, you're all dressed to the nines. 786 00:41:33,573 --> 00:41:35,598 Oh, Lindsey, you look fabulous. 787 00:41:35,775 --> 00:41:38,573 - Oh, thank you. - How's life after the big D? 788 00:41:40,146 --> 00:41:41,374 That bad, huh? 789 00:41:41,648 --> 00:41:43,946 Men are a little too hard to train so... 790 00:41:44,117 --> 00:41:48,554 Thought I'd stop trying and live vicariously through Ben's training. 791 00:41:50,523 --> 00:41:52,616 Here I was thinking I was already housebroken. 792 00:41:52,792 --> 00:41:53,781 Maybe not. 793 00:41:53,960 --> 00:41:55,188 - Cute. - It's refreshing... 794 00:41:55,361 --> 00:41:57,386 ...how honest you are. It doesn't happen... 795 00:41:57,564 --> 00:41:59,759 ...that easily for a lot of in-laws. - Really? 796 00:41:59,933 --> 00:42:03,027 Because I feel like we all get along really well. 797 00:42:03,203 --> 00:42:05,865 You know what, Ben is a wonderful addition to this family. 798 00:42:06,039 --> 00:42:07,506 Wow, thank you. 799 00:42:07,674 --> 00:42:09,539 Whatever. There's a little awkwardness... 800 00:42:09,709 --> 00:42:11,836 ...but nothing more than just new family stuff. 801 00:42:12,011 --> 00:42:14,639 You know a great way around new family awkwardness? 802 00:42:14,814 --> 00:42:17,112 - Word association. - Excuse me? 803 00:42:17,283 --> 00:42:19,410 It's fun, really. You go around the table... 804 00:42:19,586 --> 00:42:22,555 ...and you pick one word that best describes each in-law... 805 00:42:22,722 --> 00:42:24,815 ...then they pick one word that describes you. 806 00:42:24,991 --> 00:42:30,088 - A give and take, kind of an icebreaker... - I think it sounds so fun. I love games. 807 00:42:30,263 --> 00:42:31,753 That's the spirit, Grandma. 808 00:42:31,931 --> 00:42:33,762 Ben, start with Grandma. 809 00:42:33,933 --> 00:42:37,562 One word to describe Grandma. 810 00:42:38,371 --> 00:42:41,602 That word would be... 811 00:42:41,774 --> 00:42:43,332 ...wisdom. 812 00:42:43,509 --> 00:42:44,669 Excellent. 813 00:42:44,844 --> 00:42:46,709 Grandma. What about Ben? 814 00:42:47,680 --> 00:42:49,477 Peculiar for his age. 815 00:42:49,649 --> 00:42:52,140 Let's just try and stick with one word. 816 00:42:52,385 --> 00:42:55,479 - I'd just say peculiar. - Okay. 817 00:42:55,655 --> 00:42:57,987 We have a winner. Game over. I think. 818 00:42:58,157 --> 00:43:01,217 - No, no, come on. What about Lindsey? - I don't wanna do it. 819 00:43:01,394 --> 00:43:03,954 Don't think. What's the first word comes to your mind? 820 00:43:04,130 --> 00:43:05,791 Go for it. 821 00:43:07,033 --> 00:43:08,466 Blond. 822 00:43:08,635 --> 00:43:10,034 - Are you kidding me? - Golden. 823 00:43:10,203 --> 00:43:13,798 No, gold. No, like you exude gold. Not dumb, though. 824 00:43:13,973 --> 00:43:16,669 - I didn't say dumb. - You didn't say dumb. You said blond. 825 00:43:16,843 --> 00:43:18,572 Okay. Blond Lindsey. 826 00:43:18,745 --> 00:43:21,680 Oh, my tur... Okay, awesome! Yes, okay, so... 827 00:43:23,349 --> 00:43:25,078 Assertive. 828 00:43:25,551 --> 00:43:29,453 If you need someone to take the bull by the horns, Ben's your guy. 829 00:43:30,723 --> 00:43:32,247 That's a good one. Not that good. 830 00:43:32,425 --> 00:43:35,485 I mean, she's laughing a little too hard for it, but good joke. 831 00:43:37,096 --> 00:43:39,360 This is terrific. See how you're breaking the ice? 832 00:43:39,532 --> 00:43:42,092 There's something new happening now. Take a shot at Dad. 833 00:43:42,268 --> 00:43:44,133 - There we go. - Sadie's dad is... 834 00:43:44,304 --> 00:43:45,362 He's outgoing. 835 00:43:45,538 --> 00:43:48,666 - Outgoing, like saying "nice." - That's very fitting. 836 00:43:48,841 --> 00:43:50,536 You're not shedding any light. 837 00:43:50,710 --> 00:43:52,837 - Come on, you can do better than this. - Yes. 838 00:43:53,012 --> 00:43:54,445 - Let it rip. - No, no, no. 839 00:43:54,614 --> 00:43:57,242 - No, don't push me. I'm not gonna... - He's asking, Ben. 840 00:43:57,417 --> 00:43:58,782 - Go, come on. - All right. 841 00:44:00,486 --> 00:44:01,748 What about pompous? 842 00:44:01,921 --> 00:44:06,187 - I'm a little pompous. - What's the Wizard of Oz thing? Pompous. 843 00:44:06,793 --> 00:44:08,090 No, I was just kidding. 844 00:44:08,261 --> 00:44:12,459 No. No, no, no. It's all right. I asked for it. 845 00:44:12,632 --> 00:44:16,466 I just meant somebody likes to hear the sound of their own voice. 846 00:44:16,836 --> 00:44:18,326 Now you're getting interesting. 847 00:44:18,504 --> 00:44:20,096 Pompous dad, back at Ben. 848 00:44:20,273 --> 00:44:22,241 - Here it is. - Okay. 849 00:44:22,875 --> 00:44:25,241 - How about vanilla? - Whoa, mom! 850 00:44:25,411 --> 00:44:26,901 Called you vanilla. 851 00:44:27,080 --> 00:44:29,344 Could be bland, I'm not sure, but it's your call. 852 00:44:29,515 --> 00:44:33,884 - Back at mom. Come on, Ben. - Okay, "Stepford-y." Stepfordy. 853 00:44:34,053 --> 00:44:36,851 Stepfordy? Is that an adjective? 854 00:44:37,023 --> 00:44:38,718 Yeah, it just describes, you know: 855 00:44:38,891 --> 00:44:42,452 "Let's just sweep everything under the rug with a pat on the back, a smile... 856 00:44:42,628 --> 00:44:45,620 ...and don't forget the glass of champagne to take the edge off." 857 00:44:45,798 --> 00:44:47,197 You're on a roll. Come on. 858 00:44:47,367 --> 00:44:50,063 Do we have any problems here? If we did, we'd just... 859 00:44:50,236 --> 00:44:55,230 ...throw some money at it because we all know there's nothing money can't buy. 860 00:44:58,945 --> 00:45:01,106 Can't buy communication like this. 861 00:45:02,682 --> 00:45:06,118 Hey, Ben, I thought you were really great with my family today. 862 00:45:06,285 --> 00:45:07,582 Are you making fun of me? 863 00:45:07,754 --> 00:45:09,847 No. No. Course not. 864 00:45:10,022 --> 00:45:11,182 It sounded like you were. 865 00:45:11,357 --> 00:45:13,484 I'm not making fun of you. The fact that you... 866 00:45:13,659 --> 00:45:16,651 ...lost your mind and embarrassed yourself in front of everyone. 867 00:45:16,829 --> 00:45:19,730 No, that's not making fun of anyone. 868 00:45:22,568 --> 00:45:25,128 - Okay. - What? 869 00:45:25,405 --> 00:45:27,873 - Time for a punishment. Come here. - No. 870 00:45:31,444 --> 00:45:32,433 What are you doing? 871 00:45:32,612 --> 00:45:36,104 - What does it look like I'm doing? - Something that's very against the rules. 872 00:45:36,282 --> 00:45:37,806 Mayday. 873 00:45:43,823 --> 00:45:45,814 Hi. Just in the neighborhood... 874 00:45:45,992 --> 00:45:48,358 ...thought I'd drop by, make a little house call. 875 00:45:48,528 --> 00:45:49,961 Yeah, of course you were. 876 00:45:50,129 --> 00:45:52,757 - Am I interrupting anything? - No, no, no. Come on in. 877 00:45:52,932 --> 00:45:55,423 - Oh, thanks. Yay. - Come on in. 878 00:45:55,601 --> 00:45:58,968 - Hi. - I won't overstay my welcome. 879 00:45:59,505 --> 00:46:02,099 I just wanted to check and see if everything was okay... 880 00:46:02,275 --> 00:46:06,041 ...because after the tasting, things were a little tense with the in-laws. 881 00:46:06,212 --> 00:46:08,043 Nope. No tension here. 882 00:46:08,881 --> 00:46:10,348 Can I be frank? 883 00:46:10,516 --> 00:46:12,040 Of course, I'm Frank. 884 00:46:12,218 --> 00:46:14,015 Pardon the pun... 885 00:46:14,187 --> 00:46:17,384 ...but at this stage in the course, I usually find out that... 886 00:46:17,557 --> 00:46:20,720 ...a lot of couples resort to sex as a quick fix for their problems. 887 00:46:20,893 --> 00:46:24,090 I just wanna make sure you're strong enough to resist the temptation. 888 00:46:24,263 --> 00:46:27,027 - Yeah. We are. - Yeah. 889 00:46:27,200 --> 00:46:29,532 Does that make you uncomfortable, Ben? 890 00:46:29,902 --> 00:46:33,030 No, I'm not uncomfortable talking about sex, no. 891 00:46:33,206 --> 00:46:35,504 Having you in my living room talking about sex... 892 00:46:35,675 --> 00:46:38,769 ...that makes me a little uncomfortable. Yeah. 893 00:46:38,945 --> 00:46:41,106 The number one rule of a good sex life... 894 00:46:41,280 --> 00:46:43,009 ...is not being so serious. 895 00:46:43,182 --> 00:46:44,444 You know, because... 896 00:46:44,617 --> 00:46:46,812 ...if the humor goes, there goes the intimacy... 897 00:46:46,986 --> 00:46:49,853 ...and then there goes the marriage, then divorce, yada, yada. 898 00:46:50,256 --> 00:46:52,224 But there is a remedy. 899 00:46:52,391 --> 00:46:55,258 Knowing what your partner likes sexually. How do you find out? 900 00:46:55,428 --> 00:46:58,226 Well, you ask. That's kind of wonderful. 901 00:46:58,397 --> 00:47:01,230 Hey, one little exercise, then I'm Audi 5000, okay? 902 00:47:01,801 --> 00:47:02,825 Ben. 903 00:47:03,002 --> 00:47:05,334 Look at Sadie and complete this sentence: 904 00:47:05,505 --> 00:47:07,632 "I like it when..." 905 00:47:11,777 --> 00:47:15,338 - This is ridiculous. I'm not doing it. - It's not, Ben. Come on, I wanna know. 906 00:47:15,515 --> 00:47:17,779 I don't wanna talk about it. I don't wanna do it. 907 00:47:17,950 --> 00:47:19,417 I wanna know. 908 00:47:20,052 --> 00:47:21,781 Please. 909 00:47:23,623 --> 00:47:25,488 Sadie. 910 00:47:26,492 --> 00:47:30,019 I really like it when... 911 00:47:30,596 --> 00:47:32,860 ...Reverend Frank doesn't interrupt us before sex. 912 00:47:33,032 --> 00:47:34,761 I'm glad I got that off my chest. 913 00:47:34,934 --> 00:47:36,492 - Okay. - That's okay. 914 00:47:36,669 --> 00:47:39,536 You're not comfortable with this, let's show him how to do it. 915 00:47:39,705 --> 00:47:42,833 - Don't hold back. - I like it when it's out of the ordinary... 916 00:47:43,009 --> 00:47:44,408 ...personally. 917 00:47:44,577 --> 00:47:48,274 That's weird, because I always pictured you as a kind of in-the-bedroom person. 918 00:47:48,447 --> 00:47:52,349 - No, not really. No. - Hi! Whoa! Out of the ordinary? 919 00:47:52,518 --> 00:47:53,746 We're out of the ordinary. 920 00:47:53,920 --> 00:47:57,549 Because I remember having sex on this carpet and I got a rug burn. 921 00:47:57,723 --> 00:47:58,951 - Ouch. - Yeah. 922 00:47:59,125 --> 00:48:00,592 One time, though. It was great... 923 00:48:00,760 --> 00:48:02,819 ...but it's more the exception than the rule. 924 00:48:02,995 --> 00:48:05,623 - I'm talking about, like, real spontaneity. - Like what? 925 00:48:05,798 --> 00:48:07,959 Like my parents' bathroom? 926 00:48:08,134 --> 00:48:10,398 Oh, yeah, and everyone's downstairs having dinner. 927 00:48:10,570 --> 00:48:12,970 - Exactly. Or on the beach. - Under a towel. 928 00:48:13,139 --> 00:48:15,607 - At work. - In the office supply room. 929 00:48:15,775 --> 00:48:19,506 Or maybe at your grandmother's house while she's in the kitchen making tea. 930 00:48:19,679 --> 00:48:21,442 Yes! I love it when you get creative. 931 00:48:21,647 --> 00:48:24,013 You have no idea. I love it when you take control. 932 00:48:24,183 --> 00:48:25,548 What do you like about that? 933 00:48:25,718 --> 00:48:28,152 Okay! That's enough of that! 934 00:48:28,321 --> 00:48:30,289 Ben, come on. This is just an exercise. 935 00:48:30,456 --> 00:48:32,356 - We were talking through it. Yes! - No. No. 936 00:48:32,525 --> 00:48:35,153 Sadie. Pushups, that's an exercise. 937 00:48:35,895 --> 00:48:38,159 No. No, I see Ben's point of view here. 938 00:48:38,331 --> 00:48:40,060 Maybe we're rushing things a bit. 939 00:48:40,232 --> 00:48:42,700 Maybe I should pencil in the date two years from now. 940 00:48:42,902 --> 00:48:45,462 - Okay. - Sorry to bother you. Good night. 941 00:48:45,638 --> 00:48:51,235 I'll let myself out. I know the way. You have a good night. I'm going out now. 942 00:48:51,410 --> 00:48:54,004 - What was that? - Please. 943 00:48:54,180 --> 00:48:55,169 Reverend Frank! 944 00:48:56,716 --> 00:48:58,343 So we back on schedule? 945 00:48:58,517 --> 00:49:00,951 He's a reverend. What did you think was gonna happen? 946 00:49:01,120 --> 00:49:04,021 Well, I can't believe you were talking to him like that. 947 00:49:04,190 --> 00:49:09,753 I can't believe the first man to actually ask me what I like in bed was my minister. 948 00:49:27,278 --> 00:49:28,472 Son of a... 949 00:49:48,066 --> 00:49:53,003 Hey, get your butt out the way! This ain't no damn pedestrian crossing! 950 00:49:53,171 --> 00:49:55,366 So you're telling me he bugged your apartment? 951 00:49:55,540 --> 00:49:57,508 Yes. And who knows what he heard? 952 00:49:57,675 --> 00:50:00,542 I mean, this guy is sick, and I can't wait to tell Sadie. 953 00:50:00,712 --> 00:50:03,078 - She's gonna freak out. - You cannot tell Sadie. 954 00:50:03,248 --> 00:50:06,342 You think she's gonna believe her reverend is bugging your bedroom? 955 00:50:06,517 --> 00:50:08,246 Of course she will. I have evidence. 956 00:50:08,419 --> 00:50:10,114 Does this bug have his name on it? 957 00:50:10,288 --> 00:50:12,085 No. But... 958 00:50:12,590 --> 00:50:13,614 All right. 959 00:50:13,791 --> 00:50:16,055 We can talk about this later if you need to focus. 960 00:50:16,227 --> 00:50:19,094 I'm good. This is about you. Lady in the wheelchair, please! 961 00:50:19,831 --> 00:50:21,025 Listen. 962 00:50:21,199 --> 00:50:23,531 The lines of communication have to be shut down... 963 00:50:23,701 --> 00:50:27,137 ...between you and your woman. She trusts the reverend completely now. 964 00:50:27,305 --> 00:50:29,603 She trusts him so much she's calling Shelly... 965 00:50:29,774 --> 00:50:33,107 ...and telling her how we need to take a course to help our marriage. 966 00:50:33,511 --> 00:50:35,843 So I'm supposed to take this lying down? 967 00:50:36,014 --> 00:50:39,108 No. Look, let me make this simple, okay? 968 00:50:39,317 --> 00:50:42,718 We have to punch a hole in Frank's holier-than-thou armor. 969 00:50:42,887 --> 00:50:47,688 We have to find his deepest, darkest secret and take him down. 970 00:50:48,593 --> 00:50:50,220 Roach coach. 971 00:50:51,262 --> 00:50:53,230 Roach coach! 972 00:51:20,858 --> 00:51:22,587 I'm not doing that. I'm not doing it. 973 00:51:22,760 --> 00:51:25,251 Thrust, thrust. 974 00:51:27,231 --> 00:51:30,530 All right, I know you're gonna find something you like with this group. 975 00:51:30,702 --> 00:51:33,068 See, this is just what I gravitate towards. 976 00:51:33,237 --> 00:51:36,695 - Really simple. - And no diamond? I'm fine with that. 977 00:51:40,545 --> 00:51:41,739 Split up? 978 00:51:42,947 --> 00:51:44,676 Come apart. 979 00:52:43,941 --> 00:52:44,930 Excuse me. 980 00:52:45,109 --> 00:52:47,669 Hi. I'm just here to pick up my rings. 981 00:52:47,845 --> 00:52:50,609 - Last name's Murphy. - Murphy. 982 00:52:51,749 --> 00:52:53,774 - Okay, there you go. - Oh, great. Thank you. 983 00:52:53,951 --> 00:52:55,816 Let's take a look. 984 00:52:55,987 --> 00:52:57,249 Oh, wow. 985 00:52:57,422 --> 00:52:59,413 - They're really beauti... - Thank you. 986 00:53:00,792 --> 00:53:03,818 I'm sorry, does that say "Never to fart"? 987 00:53:04,028 --> 00:53:06,155 That's what you wrote on your inscription form. 988 00:53:06,330 --> 00:53:08,264 I'm sorry, I wrote "Never to part." 989 00:53:08,433 --> 00:53:10,298 I don't know who would've written "fart." 990 00:53:10,468 --> 00:53:13,164 - That's ridiculous. - We get pretty strange requests here... 991 00:53:13,337 --> 00:53:17,774 ...and we just engrave whatever is written, and there you go. 992 00:53:17,942 --> 00:53:20,706 - Yep. "Never to part." - "Never to fart." 993 00:53:22,246 --> 00:53:24,237 - No, that's a P. - It's an F, sir. 994 00:53:24,415 --> 00:53:28,010 Nope, that's a P. Do you see how that comes around in a P way? 995 00:53:28,419 --> 00:53:29,511 - Judith? - Yes? 996 00:53:29,687 --> 00:53:32,212 Could you come over here just for a tiny little second? 997 00:53:32,390 --> 00:53:33,823 Thank you. Judith... 998 00:53:33,991 --> 00:53:36,289 - Sure. - What is this letter there? 999 00:53:37,829 --> 00:53:39,854 - That is an F. - No, that's a P. 1000 00:53:40,031 --> 00:53:41,999 It's a P. It comes around like a P. 1001 00:53:42,166 --> 00:53:45,067 Well, actually, if you look, there's clearly a gap in the curl. 1002 00:53:45,236 --> 00:53:47,568 There's no gap in the curl. Judith? It connects. 1003 00:53:47,738 --> 00:53:49,137 That's a P. "Never to part." 1004 00:53:49,307 --> 00:53:52,174 - Mark, could you just come... - I don't know that we need Mark. 1005 00:53:52,343 --> 00:53:54,208 ...a little quick second here? 1006 00:53:54,378 --> 00:53:57,040 - And what is that? - Oh, the novelty inscription, yes. 1007 00:53:57,215 --> 00:54:00,582 Mark, it's not a novelty inscription. It's a romantic inscription. 1008 00:54:00,751 --> 00:54:02,548 Excuse me. What is this letter? 1009 00:54:02,720 --> 00:54:07,555 - It's an F. I do teach penmanship. - I took his class. It's wonderful. 1010 00:54:08,059 --> 00:54:09,720 - It's pretty clearly an F. - Yeah. 1011 00:54:09,894 --> 00:54:10,883 Excuse me, excuse me. 1012 00:54:11,062 --> 00:54:13,223 Hi. I'm really sorry to bother you. Very nice. 1013 00:54:13,397 --> 00:54:18,096 Could I ask you to help us out with a problem here, just a little problem? 1014 00:54:18,269 --> 00:54:20,328 Could we show the normal person? Thank you. 1015 00:54:20,505 --> 00:54:25,807 What would you call the letter between the fingers that I'm pointing at right there? 1016 00:54:26,077 --> 00:54:27,669 - What is that? - An F? 1017 00:54:27,845 --> 00:54:30,279 - I'm sorry, sir? Louder, please? - An F? 1018 00:54:30,448 --> 00:54:31,437 - F. - Yes. 1019 00:54:31,616 --> 00:54:34,779 - That's right. - Okay, excuse me. Hi. All right. 1020 00:54:34,952 --> 00:54:36,920 I'm getting married in two days. 1021 00:54:37,088 --> 00:54:39,886 Thank you. I really need that to say "Never to part." 1022 00:54:40,057 --> 00:54:42,719 - That's very nice. - "Never to part." That's so sweet. 1023 00:54:42,894 --> 00:54:44,054 And that's what I wrote. 1024 00:54:44,228 --> 00:54:47,356 I need it to say "Never to part," and I need it done immediately. 1025 00:54:47,532 --> 00:54:50,365 So how do we do that? How do we get that done? 1026 00:54:50,535 --> 00:54:52,526 We could have it tomorrow. In the morning. 1027 00:54:52,703 --> 00:54:54,603 Great. And that's what we can do. 1028 00:54:54,772 --> 00:54:56,364 But there's a $250 rush fee. 1029 00:54:56,541 --> 00:54:59,942 So I'm spending $250 on something I asked you to do in the first place? 1030 00:55:00,111 --> 00:55:01,669 And we can guarantee that. 1031 00:55:04,282 --> 00:55:06,580 This is ridiculous. There's nothing here. 1032 00:55:06,751 --> 00:55:08,309 Oh, come on, man. 1033 00:55:08,486 --> 00:55:11,284 If that old lady from Murder, She Wrote can do this... 1034 00:55:11,455 --> 00:55:13,980 ...then we can find something. 1035 00:55:14,158 --> 00:55:17,321 - Are you talking about Angela L... - Just keep looking. 1036 00:55:19,497 --> 00:55:20,486 What is that? 1037 00:55:20,665 --> 00:55:22,633 Frank Littleton. That's his address. 1038 00:55:24,202 --> 00:55:26,830 But who's Maria Gonzales? 1039 00:55:52,630 --> 00:55:54,120 - Hello? - Joel, it's Ben. 1040 00:55:54,298 --> 00:55:55,822 There's no one here by that name. 1041 00:55:56,000 --> 00:55:58,491 Is there another name you'd maybe like to try? 1042 00:55:58,669 --> 00:56:00,261 Eagle, it's Sapphire. 1043 00:56:00,438 --> 00:56:02,269 Copy that, Sapphire. What's your 20? 1044 00:56:02,440 --> 00:56:03,907 I'm at John the Baptist's house. 1045 00:56:04,375 --> 00:56:06,104 - What's he doing? - He's showering. 1046 00:56:06,744 --> 00:56:08,769 Dude, you're watching him take a shower? 1047 00:56:08,946 --> 00:56:10,174 No, I'm outside. 1048 00:56:10,681 --> 00:56:12,114 Then get your butt inside. 1049 00:56:12,283 --> 00:56:15,946 - What? Are you nuts? I'm gonna get caught. - Listen, the rehearsal's tomorrow. 1050 00:56:16,120 --> 00:56:18,179 You've only got today to blow the lid off. 1051 00:56:18,356 --> 00:56:19,550 It's your only chance. 1052 00:56:19,724 --> 00:56:23,125 Strike first, strike hard. No mercy. 1053 00:56:30,768 --> 00:56:32,030 What the hell am I doing? 1054 00:56:51,222 --> 00:56:52,587 Stop! 1055 00:57:24,121 --> 00:57:25,588 Maria Gonzales. 1056 00:57:31,762 --> 00:57:32,786 I got you, sucker M.C. 1057 00:57:39,403 --> 00:57:41,803 Hi. 1058 00:57:42,073 --> 00:57:44,405 Wow, look at you... 1059 00:57:44,575 --> 00:57:46,702 ...priest dog. 1060 00:57:48,679 --> 00:57:50,704 Hi. 1061 00:57:50,881 --> 00:57:52,075 I'm gonna... 1062 00:57:52,249 --> 00:57:53,682 No. No, no! 1063 00:58:01,292 --> 00:58:03,192 That's so gross. 1064 00:58:11,235 --> 00:58:12,463 Nicodemus! 1065 00:58:12,636 --> 00:58:14,365 Nicodemus! 1066 00:58:14,739 --> 00:58:16,730 No, no, no, no! 1067 00:58:17,274 --> 00:58:18,332 Nicodemus. 1068 00:58:18,509 --> 00:58:20,500 Leave Mr. Socks alone. 1069 00:58:20,678 --> 00:58:23,340 Nicodemus! Bad Nicodemus! 1070 00:58:23,514 --> 00:58:26,415 These are my Cheesy Curls. No, don't you run away. 1071 00:58:26,617 --> 00:58:29,950 Bad. These are mine. 1072 00:58:30,254 --> 00:58:33,087 This is good. Things are really good. 1073 00:58:33,257 --> 00:58:37,387 And I'm not even concerned with the fact that Ben hasn't written his vows yet. 1074 00:58:37,561 --> 00:58:40,121 - Really? - No. 1075 00:58:40,297 --> 00:58:46,099 He's just drawn this little animated truck going through a hoop of fire. 1076 00:58:46,804 --> 00:58:48,396 You know what? 1077 00:58:48,639 --> 00:58:50,072 It's actually better. 1078 00:58:50,241 --> 00:58:52,300 Because he's waiting until the last second... 1079 00:58:52,476 --> 00:58:56,913 ...when his mind is completely clear and he can just say what he really means. 1080 00:58:57,882 --> 00:59:00,373 - Okay, hold on. - What do we think? What's the verdict? 1081 00:59:00,551 --> 00:59:02,678 Let's just take a second. 1082 00:59:02,853 --> 00:59:04,787 Honestly? 1083 00:59:06,390 --> 00:59:08,950 Looks a little bit like the inside of a down comforter. 1084 00:59:11,562 --> 00:59:13,052 What the hell's going on? 1085 00:59:13,230 --> 00:59:14,561 But look, no, the rhinest... 1086 00:59:14,732 --> 00:59:17,758 - It's beautiful, honestly... - No. I'm not talking about the dress. 1087 00:59:17,935 --> 00:59:20,665 I'm talking about Ben. An animated truck? 1088 00:59:20,838 --> 00:59:23,830 You know, I wrote seven pages on how much I love and adore him... 1089 00:59:24,008 --> 00:59:28,911 ...and all he can muster up for me is some stupid Tonka truck in a three-ring circus? 1090 00:59:29,079 --> 00:59:31,639 - That's it? - Okay, you know what? 1091 00:59:32,316 --> 00:59:33,578 Lay it on me. 1092 00:59:33,751 --> 00:59:35,946 Oh, God. 1093 00:59:36,120 --> 00:59:38,520 Please tell me everything's gonna be fine. 1094 00:59:39,490 --> 00:59:41,151 What do you want me to say? 1095 00:59:41,826 --> 00:59:44,124 Sadie, my marriage failed. 1096 00:59:44,762 --> 00:59:48,425 I watch Titanic by myself, alone, in my room, every night... 1097 00:59:48,599 --> 00:59:50,965 ...stuffing my face with Honey BBQ Fritos. 1098 00:59:51,836 --> 00:59:55,101 Not the one to give you any tips or advice about your relationship... 1099 00:59:55,272 --> 00:59:57,604 ...no matter how desperate you are. 1100 00:59:57,775 --> 00:59:59,242 Sorry. 1101 00:59:59,977 --> 01:00:06,007 However, I do recall my ex never wrote any vows at all. 1102 01:00:06,350 --> 01:00:08,113 Really? 1103 01:00:09,019 --> 01:00:10,452 That's kind of promising. 1104 01:00:10,621 --> 01:00:11,610 Yeah. 1105 01:00:11,789 --> 01:00:13,916 It was probably because he was too busy... 1106 01:00:14,091 --> 01:00:17,891 ...sleeping with our dental hygienist, which was great. 1107 01:00:18,729 --> 01:00:21,289 Hey, but your hygienist is a guy, right? 1108 01:00:21,465 --> 01:00:23,023 Yeah. 1109 01:00:24,034 --> 01:00:25,194 You're fine. 1110 01:00:39,283 --> 01:00:42,377 Is this a piece of work? They don't make them like this any more. 1111 01:00:42,786 --> 01:00:44,276 When two people say "I do"... 1112 01:00:44,455 --> 01:00:47,322 ...they're putting their lives in each other's hands entirely. 1113 01:00:47,491 --> 01:00:49,959 Anything less than that is doomed to failure. 1114 01:00:50,127 --> 01:00:52,254 Now, the last test you have to pass... 1115 01:00:52,429 --> 01:00:54,761 ...before I certify you ready for marriage... 1116 01:00:54,932 --> 01:00:57,059 ...is the communication test. 1117 01:00:57,835 --> 01:00:59,462 Which is very important... 1118 01:00:59,637 --> 01:01:02,936 ...given how poorly we've been doing in that area lately. 1119 01:01:03,107 --> 01:01:04,199 Oh, me? Don't worry. 1120 01:01:04,375 --> 01:01:06,070 I plan on communicating very well... 1121 01:01:06,243 --> 01:01:09,474 Okay, Ben, can you please just let him finish talking? 1122 01:01:09,647 --> 01:01:11,239 - Thank you. - Yep. 1123 01:01:13,584 --> 01:01:15,916 - Sorry, reverend. - It's okay. 1124 01:01:16,086 --> 01:01:19,681 To demonstrate how important communication is in that area: 1125 01:01:21,458 --> 01:01:23,153 - What? - Blindfold. 1126 01:01:24,228 --> 01:01:26,492 - What are you doing? - I'm not doing anything. 1127 01:01:26,664 --> 01:01:29,155 You're gonna be Sadie's eyes as she drives us. 1128 01:01:29,366 --> 01:01:32,824 - You're insane! - lf you wanna pass this course... 1129 01:01:33,003 --> 01:01:35,597 ...and get married tomorrow, you have to pass this test. 1130 01:01:35,773 --> 01:01:36,933 Your call. 1131 01:01:37,107 --> 01:01:41,271 - Yeah. Yeah. I can do this. - You're actually gonna go through with this? 1132 01:01:41,979 --> 01:01:45,847 - What, Ben, you don't think I can do this? - Okay. Maybe you don't understand... 1133 01:01:46,016 --> 01:01:47,142 ...what's going on here. 1134 01:01:47,318 --> 01:01:49,582 Ben, there's two sets of controls. 1135 01:01:49,753 --> 01:01:51,778 I can take over at any time. 1136 01:01:53,791 --> 01:01:55,281 What'll it be, Benjamin? 1137 01:01:55,459 --> 01:01:56,653 Yeah. 1138 01:01:57,461 --> 01:01:59,656 Well, I'm gonna need a little help here, though. 1139 01:01:59,830 --> 01:02:01,388 First you need to put it in gear. 1140 01:02:01,565 --> 01:02:03,465 - Check. - And then you're gonna ease out... 1141 01:02:03,634 --> 01:02:04,862 ...onto the street. 1142 01:02:08,839 --> 01:02:11,000 Left. Left! 1143 01:02:11,175 --> 01:02:13,803 There you are. Right. To the right! 1144 01:02:13,978 --> 01:02:16,208 Ben, did you see a clipboard back there? 1145 01:02:16,380 --> 01:02:18,371 There it is. Least it's warm. 1146 01:02:18,549 --> 01:02:20,380 - What...? - It's a communication exercise. 1147 01:02:20,551 --> 01:02:22,519 You will be graded. Less than 80 percent... 1148 01:02:22,686 --> 01:02:24,517 ...consider getting married in Vegas. 1149 01:02:24,688 --> 01:02:26,918 You know what? Vegas sounds awesome right now. 1150 01:02:27,091 --> 01:02:29,525 Maybe you can get an Elvis impersonator to officiate. 1151 01:02:29,693 --> 01:02:31,058 "Hey, my wife. Yeah." 1152 01:02:35,766 --> 01:02:38,894 - Ben, you wanna help your future bride? - Yep, yep, yeah. I do, I do. 1153 01:02:39,069 --> 01:02:41,401 How about we take a right? Head back to the church. 1154 01:02:41,572 --> 01:02:43,233 You might wanna brake. Anytime. 1155 01:02:45,409 --> 01:02:47,707 Sorry. I'm sorry. I just, I got nervous. 1156 01:02:47,878 --> 01:02:50,608 That's very good. Taking responsibility. Excellent, Sadie. 1157 01:02:50,781 --> 01:02:52,248 More enthusiasm in the back, Ben. 1158 01:02:52,416 --> 01:02:55,749 Oh, my God, I'm having so much fun! Aren't you? I might pee my pants. 1159 01:02:55,919 --> 01:02:57,910 Sarcasm, wicked stepsister of communication. 1160 01:02:58,088 --> 01:02:59,680 - Point off. - Now take a right. Now. 1161 01:02:59,857 --> 01:03:01,324 - A right? Now? - Now! 1162 01:03:03,627 --> 01:03:04,651 It's a one-way street! 1163 01:03:04,828 --> 01:03:06,523 Okay, well, then should I pull over? 1164 01:03:06,697 --> 01:03:09,063 No, no. Just go straight. They'll go around you. 1165 01:03:09,233 --> 01:03:12,498 Oh, my... Jesus. Okay, okay. 1166 01:03:12,703 --> 01:03:17,504 - In about 20 yards we're gonna turn. - 20 yards means nothing to me. I can't see. 1167 01:03:17,675 --> 01:03:20,109 Here we go. Turning now! 1168 01:03:21,211 --> 01:03:24,578 There's a man. That's an old man in a hat and a thing. 1169 01:03:24,748 --> 01:03:26,272 Look out! 1170 01:03:29,153 --> 01:03:31,815 - I'm blind, Ben! - That's enough. We're ending this. Stop! 1171 01:03:31,989 --> 01:03:34,116 Is that what you do when things get difficult? 1172 01:03:34,291 --> 01:03:35,758 You're just gonna quit? 1173 01:03:35,926 --> 01:03:37,359 I need to count on you, Ben. 1174 01:03:37,528 --> 01:03:40,929 Life will hand you stress and the key to managing your anxiety... 1175 01:03:41,098 --> 01:03:44,431 ...is not letting it contaminate your partner. - Garbage truck! 1176 01:03:45,436 --> 01:03:46,596 - Where? - Punch it! 1177 01:03:49,406 --> 01:03:50,771 Yeah! 1178 01:03:52,443 --> 01:03:54,843 I'm pretty sure I'm not learning anything from this. 1179 01:03:55,012 --> 01:03:57,276 - Are we good? Are we good? - There's Burt Fleeger! 1180 01:03:57,448 --> 01:03:58,938 Looking good, Hollywood! 1181 01:03:59,116 --> 01:04:03,052 - I feel like I'm not getting any guidance. - You might wanna pick up speed a little. 1182 01:04:03,253 --> 01:04:06,620 - Wait, wait. Why would we do that? - There's a parking space up there. 1183 01:04:06,790 --> 01:04:08,587 Gun it, Sadie. 1184 01:04:13,464 --> 01:04:15,329 - I never get this space! - Oh, my God! 1185 01:04:15,499 --> 01:04:17,296 Perfect. 1186 01:04:19,169 --> 01:04:20,966 Hello, Jones family. How's it going? 1187 01:04:21,138 --> 01:04:22,662 Hello, reverend. 1188 01:04:23,107 --> 01:04:24,768 Daughter's a good little driver. 1189 01:04:28,145 --> 01:04:32,013 Well, you have the wedding processional. You can go with Mendelssohn... 1190 01:04:32,182 --> 01:04:35,845 ...or one couple actually had Captain and Tennille here playing "Muskrat Love." 1191 01:04:36,019 --> 01:04:38,681 It's your call. After you boogie down the aisle... 1192 01:04:38,856 --> 01:04:41,154 ...l'll start by saying something nice. 1193 01:04:41,325 --> 01:04:44,351 Speaking of that, let's give a big Saint Augustine welcome... 1194 01:04:44,528 --> 01:04:48,191 ...to Ben Murphy's parents, Ron and Mary Murphy. 1195 01:04:48,499 --> 01:04:49,966 Came all the way from Seattle. 1196 01:04:50,134 --> 01:04:54,264 Then I get into a brief message about the joy and the sanctity of marriage... 1197 01:04:54,438 --> 01:04:57,202 ...and that on your honeymoon, try and act surprised. 1198 01:04:57,374 --> 01:04:59,137 It's an old joke, but sometimes works. 1199 01:04:59,309 --> 01:05:01,140 Then we got prayer, hymn, prayer, hymn. 1200 01:05:01,311 --> 01:05:04,109 And then we get into the vows. 1201 01:05:04,281 --> 01:05:07,114 In my course, the couple writes their own vows. 1202 01:05:07,284 --> 01:05:09,115 And that in mind, may I have your vows? 1203 01:05:09,686 --> 01:05:11,711 Thank you. 1204 01:05:12,489 --> 01:05:14,286 Thank you. 1205 01:05:16,059 --> 01:05:17,356 - Ben? - Yeah. 1206 01:05:17,528 --> 01:05:18,654 Got the vows? 1207 01:05:18,829 --> 01:05:20,729 Ben, where are your vows? 1208 01:05:21,098 --> 01:05:22,258 Oh, I have them. I just... 1209 01:05:22,432 --> 01:05:25,401 I haven't finished them, but I will have them here tomorrow. 1210 01:05:26,503 --> 01:05:29,563 Okey-dokey. Well, I guess that'll have to do for now. 1211 01:05:29,740 --> 01:05:32,072 After the vows, we have the lighting of the candle. 1212 01:05:32,242 --> 01:05:35,075 - It's true, by the way. - Not now, Ben. I just wanna think. 1213 01:05:35,279 --> 01:05:36,405 Thinking's good. 1214 01:05:36,580 --> 01:05:38,878 - Yes, I wanna think about everything. - What about? 1215 01:05:39,049 --> 01:05:41,142 I'm guessing these aren't part of the vows. 1216 01:05:41,318 --> 01:05:46,756 Okay, because I used to think that we were so perfectly compatible for each other... 1217 01:05:46,924 --> 01:05:48,755 ...and now... 1218 01:05:49,326 --> 01:05:50,486 - Look at us, Ben. - What? 1219 01:05:50,661 --> 01:05:54,256 - Ben, you want two kids, and I want four. - So what? 1220 01:05:54,431 --> 01:05:57,628 You obviously think my family is a bunch of rich, alcoholic snobs. 1221 01:05:57,801 --> 01:06:01,237 - You never take the lead on things, Ben! - And I'm not good enough for you! 1222 01:06:01,438 --> 01:06:03,929 I'm not adventurous enough in bed, right? 1223 01:06:04,107 --> 01:06:06,632 And I'm not as handsome as Carlisle, not as successful. 1224 01:06:06,810 --> 01:06:08,869 Carlisle has nothing to do with it. 1225 01:06:09,046 --> 01:06:11,537 - Carlisle has everything to do with it. - How? 1226 01:06:11,715 --> 01:06:15,242 Because he is someone whose opinion you trust way more than mine. 1227 01:06:15,419 --> 01:06:18,786 Oh, God. When have I ever said that to you, Ben? 1228 01:06:18,956 --> 01:06:20,048 You just don't have to. 1229 01:06:20,290 --> 01:06:22,053 "Carlisle, what crystal should we use? 1230 01:06:22,226 --> 01:06:25,559 What brand of cheese is good, Carlisle?" 1231 01:06:25,729 --> 01:06:28,562 God, I am so sick of you choosing Carlisle's cheese. 1232 01:06:28,732 --> 01:06:33,499 - Carlisle's cheese. Explore that, Ben. - Enough of the pop psychology, reverend. 1233 01:06:33,670 --> 01:06:38,107 Because all you've done is everything you can to make sure this doesn't work. 1234 01:06:38,275 --> 01:06:42,234 I've worked very hard to create lines of communication between you and Sadie... 1235 01:06:42,412 --> 01:06:44,607 ...to let you know what you're in for. 1236 01:06:44,781 --> 01:06:46,214 - You're onto it. - Yeah, we are. 1237 01:06:46,383 --> 01:06:48,851 We are discovering a whole shitload right now! 1238 01:06:49,019 --> 01:06:50,646 - Really? - Yes, we are, Ben. 1239 01:06:50,854 --> 01:06:53,880 - Guys, seriously, space, please. - Now's the time. Pop the info. 1240 01:06:54,057 --> 01:06:56,252 Okay. Okay. You know what? 1241 01:06:56,426 --> 01:06:58,894 I didn't wanna have to do this, but I have no choice. 1242 01:06:59,062 --> 01:07:02,122 So aside from the fact that Reverend Frank bugged our apartment... 1243 01:07:02,299 --> 01:07:03,357 Excuse me, what? 1244 01:07:03,533 --> 01:07:05,501 I've mounted an investigation. 1245 01:07:05,669 --> 01:07:08,263 One that I think you would be interested to hear about. 1246 01:07:08,438 --> 01:07:12,067 So Frankie, should I tell them or should you? 1247 01:07:13,443 --> 01:07:15,070 What do you want me to tell them? 1248 01:07:15,245 --> 01:07:18,180 What I want you to tell them is what their good and decent... 1249 01:07:18,348 --> 01:07:22,682 ...and ever-so-intuitive reverend was doing when he married... 1250 01:07:22,853 --> 01:07:26,289 ...and then subsequently divorced one Maria Gonzales. 1251 01:07:27,424 --> 01:07:28,789 That's not true. 1252 01:07:28,959 --> 01:07:32,690 Reverend Frank has never been married or divorced. 1253 01:07:33,530 --> 01:07:35,725 That's what I thought too, Grandma Jones. 1254 01:07:35,899 --> 01:07:36,991 But... 1255 01:07:37,167 --> 01:07:38,156 ...Reverend Frank? 1256 01:07:40,671 --> 01:07:42,002 It's true. 1257 01:07:42,172 --> 01:07:43,161 What? 1258 01:07:43,340 --> 01:07:44,398 Oh, it's very true. 1259 01:07:44,574 --> 01:07:47,509 How can we trust anything he said to us now? 1260 01:07:47,678 --> 01:07:50,875 We have put our relationship in the hands of a total hypocrite. 1261 01:07:52,849 --> 01:07:56,842 I didn't wanna have to talk about this to protect certain parties... 1262 01:07:57,020 --> 01:07:59,989 ...but enough time has passed so the truth can finally be known. 1263 01:08:00,157 --> 01:08:01,419 Yes. Please do. 1264 01:08:01,591 --> 01:08:05,152 Several years ago, a young woman named Maria Gonzales attended our church. 1265 01:08:05,929 --> 01:08:09,194 She was a refugee who was denied political asylum. 1266 01:08:09,366 --> 01:08:13,962 If she was deported back to Guatemala, she would have faced most certain death. 1267 01:08:14,137 --> 01:08:17,072 So in order for her and her children to stay in this country... 1268 01:08:17,240 --> 01:08:20,403 ...I agreed to marry her so she could get a green card. 1269 01:08:20,744 --> 01:08:23,679 Once she was legal, we divorced. 1270 01:08:23,847 --> 01:08:26,338 She moved to New Mexico with her kids. 1271 01:08:26,516 --> 01:08:29,576 A couple of years ago I got a letter from her, and she told me... 1272 01:08:29,753 --> 01:08:33,211 ...that her oldest had been accepted to Harvard Law. 1273 01:08:33,690 --> 01:08:37,683 He was going to graduate in the top of his class, and when he did... 1274 01:08:37,861 --> 01:08:40,091 ...he was going to go into immigration reform. 1275 01:08:40,263 --> 01:08:43,232 And that is the story of Maria Gonzales. 1276 01:08:44,701 --> 01:08:46,532 I keep their pictures in my wallet... 1277 01:08:49,573 --> 01:08:52,599 ...to remind me that one person can make a difference... 1278 01:08:52,776 --> 01:08:54,573 ...even against insurmountable odds. 1279 01:08:56,213 --> 01:08:57,908 That's... That's Pablo right there. 1280 01:08:58,081 --> 01:08:59,139 Ben. 1281 01:09:01,184 --> 01:09:06,121 If you had just spent half the amount of time on your wedding vows... 1282 01:09:06,289 --> 01:09:09,690 ...as this stupid little investigation... 1283 01:09:10,093 --> 01:09:13,028 ...we would probably be walking down the aisle tomorrow. 1284 01:09:13,196 --> 01:09:14,959 And, no, no... 1285 01:09:15,866 --> 01:09:17,731 I can't do it. 1286 01:09:23,907 --> 01:09:27,240 - Unbelievable. - You're such a jerk. 1287 01:09:29,513 --> 01:09:30,639 Benjamin. 1288 01:09:32,416 --> 01:09:34,077 Are you happy now? 1289 01:09:35,018 --> 01:09:37,213 It's a painful process. 1290 01:09:37,387 --> 01:09:38,684 That's why we do it. 1291 01:09:38,855 --> 01:09:40,618 To find the truth, Benjamin. 1292 01:09:41,358 --> 01:09:42,382 Sometim... 1293 01:09:44,895 --> 01:09:48,262 Why did you punch the reverend? What is wrong with you? 1294 01:09:49,533 --> 01:09:52,502 Nice right hook, but you are going to hell. Know that? 1295 01:09:52,669 --> 01:09:54,694 I'm sorry. J.C., I'm sorry. 1296 01:09:57,474 --> 01:10:00,602 Three weeks. That's a new course record. 1297 01:10:00,777 --> 01:10:04,440 Man, I haven't seen a right hook like that since the Buffolini meltdown. 1298 01:10:04,614 --> 01:10:06,912 I hate this part. 1299 01:10:07,217 --> 01:10:09,481 I'll get the bag of frozen peas. Come on. 1300 01:10:09,886 --> 01:10:11,376 Here we go. 1301 01:10:34,811 --> 01:10:36,210 Hi. 1302 01:10:37,647 --> 01:10:40,343 I can't believe I was about to marry someone I didn't know. 1303 01:10:40,517 --> 01:10:42,644 That's why we have the course. 1304 01:10:42,819 --> 01:10:45,481 It's good that I found out now instead of down the road... 1305 01:10:45,655 --> 01:10:48,055 ...because that just would have been awful. 1306 01:10:48,792 --> 01:10:51,283 I'm sorry, he just, he makes me so mad. 1307 01:10:51,928 --> 01:10:53,953 What am I supposed to do now? 1308 01:10:54,898 --> 01:10:57,093 - You still have your honeymoon tickets? - Yeah. 1309 01:10:57,267 --> 01:10:58,359 Use them. 1310 01:10:58,535 --> 01:11:02,096 Go away for a couple of days. Take a friend, family, anybody. 1311 01:11:03,039 --> 01:11:05,599 - I don't know. - Oh, come on, it'll be great for you. 1312 01:11:06,243 --> 01:11:09,303 Get a tan, huh? Trust me. 1313 01:11:12,816 --> 01:11:14,613 See you, kiddo. 1314 01:11:15,986 --> 01:11:17,715 You know... 1315 01:11:18,221 --> 01:11:20,985 ...maybe Ben wasn't the only... 1316 01:11:21,158 --> 01:11:22,182 No. 1317 01:11:22,359 --> 01:11:25,556 - No, no. What? What? - No, have a great trip. 1318 01:11:32,536 --> 01:11:34,970 I mean, it wasn't supposed to be like this. 1319 01:11:35,138 --> 01:11:37,436 Yeah, I feel as bad as you do. 1320 01:11:38,208 --> 01:11:41,405 Now she's using her honeymoon ticket without me. 1321 01:11:41,711 --> 01:11:43,906 I mean, how is that supposed to make me feel? 1322 01:11:44,814 --> 01:11:47,681 Bad. I think. 1323 01:11:49,219 --> 01:11:54,350 Three weeks ago, I was the happiest guy in the world, and now I just... 1324 01:11:55,659 --> 01:11:57,286 Now I'm just sitting here with you. 1325 01:11:58,495 --> 01:12:01,692 Thanks. Thanks, Ben. Appreciate that. 1326 01:12:01,865 --> 01:12:04,095 No, you know what I mean, I just... 1327 01:12:04,267 --> 01:12:05,700 Hey, it's cool. 1328 01:12:05,869 --> 01:12:10,897 Look, don't take this the wrong way, because Sadie's cool, I like her a lot... 1329 01:12:11,074 --> 01:12:13,235 ...but there are plenty of fish in the sea. 1330 01:12:13,410 --> 01:12:16,072 And now it's your time to be the king barracuda... 1331 01:12:16,246 --> 01:12:19,010 ...and get out there and swim with the sweet tuna. 1332 01:12:19,182 --> 01:12:20,877 The ocean is yours, man. 1333 01:12:23,320 --> 01:12:25,754 That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. 1334 01:12:27,390 --> 01:12:28,982 Okay. 1335 01:12:29,926 --> 01:12:31,450 You're a bear. 1336 01:12:31,628 --> 01:12:32,890 Now jump in that forest... 1337 01:12:33,063 --> 01:12:36,226 ...and you gotta tag as many cute, furry, bear butts as you can. 1338 01:12:36,399 --> 01:12:37,559 Joel... 1339 01:12:37,734 --> 01:12:39,998 ...you're my best friend, man. You know that? 1340 01:12:40,570 --> 01:12:43,471 - And I love you. You know that? - I love you too. 1341 01:12:43,640 --> 01:12:47,804 But you have got to be the worst advice-giver I know. 1342 01:12:48,945 --> 01:12:51,971 I mean, not only is your advice terrible, but... 1343 01:12:52,148 --> 01:12:55,174 ...it just backfires at every turn. 1344 01:12:55,352 --> 01:12:58,879 And now you're talking to me about fish and bears. 1345 01:12:59,055 --> 01:13:02,752 She's a woman, Joel. I mean, she's an amazing woman. 1346 01:13:02,926 --> 01:13:05,224 And she's just so beautiful. 1347 01:13:05,395 --> 01:13:09,126 And she's loving and... 1348 01:13:09,366 --> 01:13:12,062 It was all right there... 1349 01:13:13,169 --> 01:13:15,034 ...and I lost it. 1350 01:13:16,973 --> 01:13:21,171 And I don't need you telling me that I should go out and find someone else. 1351 01:13:21,344 --> 01:13:25,144 I mean, I don't need anybody telling me how to go... 1352 01:13:26,416 --> 01:13:28,680 I don't need anyone telling me. 1353 01:13:29,819 --> 01:13:31,480 Wait. Where you... Ben! Hey! 1354 01:13:37,694 --> 01:13:39,855 No way. 1355 01:13:44,167 --> 01:13:46,829 Whoa! Is that one strike or two against Rodriguez? 1356 01:13:47,003 --> 01:13:48,027 Two. 1357 01:13:48,204 --> 01:13:50,502 Awesome job with the camouflage, guys. 1358 01:13:50,674 --> 01:13:51,868 Seriously, you got me. 1359 01:13:52,042 --> 01:13:55,205 Who'd have thought you'd be in a van with "Saint Augustine's"? 1360 01:13:55,445 --> 01:13:56,912 Just listening to the ball game! 1361 01:13:58,014 --> 01:13:59,845 Cubs are off today. 1362 01:14:15,932 --> 01:14:17,058 Hey, Gillie. 1363 01:14:17,233 --> 01:14:20,134 This guy say he's in love. He come to Jamaica to find his girl. 1364 01:14:20,303 --> 01:14:23,761 Well, see, we were supposed to get married and then she just called it off. 1365 01:14:25,175 --> 01:14:27,643 Oh, no. It's a long story. Just... 1366 01:14:27,811 --> 01:14:29,938 Man, you don't have to worry, it's a long ride. 1367 01:14:30,113 --> 01:14:33,241 It's really a long ride. You can sit and tell us. 1368 01:14:33,416 --> 01:14:34,906 Well, what happened was... 1369 01:14:37,087 --> 01:14:40,716 It is absolutely beautiful here. 1370 01:14:41,658 --> 01:14:44,354 Hey, Mom, you gonna get in your bikini? 1371 01:14:44,527 --> 01:14:45,516 Like hell I will. 1372 01:14:53,903 --> 01:14:56,667 Talk to her. This is for lovers, man! 1373 01:14:57,006 --> 01:14:58,098 Thank you. 1374 01:15:13,623 --> 01:15:14,988 It's Ben. 1375 01:15:20,296 --> 01:15:21,786 - What? - Sadie, it's me. 1376 01:15:21,965 --> 01:15:24,763 - I know. What do you want? - Look, I have to talk to you. 1377 01:15:24,934 --> 01:15:26,458 Guess what, Ben? 1378 01:15:26,636 --> 01:15:30,538 You had your chance. You had an empty book and you didn't say anything. 1379 01:15:30,707 --> 01:15:33,676 - And that's part of the thing. Listen... - No. Ben... 1380 01:15:33,843 --> 01:15:36,835 ...I don't wanna talk to you. - You don't understand. I'm in... 1381 01:15:37,013 --> 01:15:38,605 Sadie? 1382 01:15:39,082 --> 01:15:42,074 How come I could say so much and he couldn't say anything to me? 1383 01:15:42,252 --> 01:15:44,311 Can someone please explain that? 1384 01:15:49,893 --> 01:15:51,258 Sorry. 1385 01:15:51,428 --> 01:15:53,328 I was just clearing my throat. 1386 01:15:53,496 --> 01:15:55,191 - John! - What? 1387 01:15:55,365 --> 01:15:57,629 A piece of coconut went down the wrong way. 1388 01:15:57,801 --> 01:15:59,428 Your daughter's in pain. 1389 01:15:59,602 --> 01:16:02,400 - Yes, I'm in pain. And I'm all alone too. - Not you. 1390 01:16:02,572 --> 01:16:04,563 - I'm alone. - Not you. 1391 01:16:04,741 --> 01:16:08,108 Is anyone at all concerned with the fact that my life is falling apart? 1392 01:16:08,278 --> 01:16:10,906 Oh, of course we are, sweetie. 1393 01:16:11,080 --> 01:16:13,742 But relationships are complicated. 1394 01:16:13,917 --> 01:16:18,251 - We certainly don't have all the answers. - You guys have been married for 30 years. 1395 01:16:18,421 --> 01:16:22,551 - You must be doing something right. - Not all those years were great. 1396 01:16:22,725 --> 01:16:27,287 Years 16 through 18 in our marriage were something straight out of The Shining. 1397 01:16:28,231 --> 01:16:31,758 Okay, but Ben and I couldn't even decide on what color napkins we wanted... 1398 01:16:31,935 --> 01:16:33,664 ...let alone how many kids. 1399 01:16:33,837 --> 01:16:36,567 And he couldn't handle that I have a good guy friend. 1400 01:16:36,739 --> 01:16:40,004 I don't know if it's our friendship he was insecure about. 1401 01:16:40,176 --> 01:16:41,939 Really? 1402 01:16:42,545 --> 01:16:44,445 Listen, I'm gonna support you here. 1403 01:16:44,614 --> 01:16:47,777 But you gotta think about this from Ben's perspective. 1404 01:16:47,951 --> 01:16:50,749 How do you think he feels when you're always coming to me? 1405 01:16:50,920 --> 01:16:53,718 - I don't go to you all the time. - When are you going to him? 1406 01:16:54,858 --> 01:16:57,691 Just maybe... 1407 01:16:57,861 --> 01:17:00,694 ...Ben wants to be with somebody who needs him for a change. 1408 01:17:02,232 --> 01:17:03,790 That's really heartfelt. 1409 01:17:22,185 --> 01:17:24,415 - Does this happen all the time? - Sadie? 1410 01:17:24,587 --> 01:17:27,385 To go from being so in love to this. 1411 01:17:27,557 --> 01:17:30,082 You know, I'm all alone on my honeymoon at Sandals... 1412 01:17:30,260 --> 01:17:34,128 ... couples in love all over the place. This isn't what I pictured. 1413 01:17:34,297 --> 01:17:36,731 Well, is it ever what you picture? 1414 01:17:37,534 --> 01:17:40,298 Were we the first ones to fail the course? 1415 01:17:40,470 --> 01:17:44,099 Who said the course is over? It's only over when you decide it's done. 1416 01:17:44,307 --> 01:17:46,434 I don't know what to do. 1417 01:17:47,010 --> 01:17:48,409 It'll come to you. 1418 01:17:48,578 --> 01:17:50,102 Have faith. 1419 01:17:51,748 --> 01:17:54,080 Thank you, Reverend Frank. 1420 01:17:56,119 --> 01:17:57,279 Right on schedule. 1421 01:17:57,453 --> 01:18:00,616 Hallelujah. Now do you mind? I need my beauty sleep. 1422 01:18:00,790 --> 01:18:05,420 No smoking on this flight, but you can light up whatever once we land. 1423 01:18:52,942 --> 01:18:54,773 - Ben? - Hey. 1424 01:18:54,944 --> 01:18:56,912 You picked up. 1425 01:18:57,080 --> 01:19:00,072 It's so weird. I was just thinking about you. 1426 01:19:00,249 --> 01:19:01,807 You were? 1427 01:19:01,985 --> 01:19:03,612 Yeah. 1428 01:19:04,354 --> 01:19:08,450 My family said some things to me yesterday about... 1429 01:19:08,625 --> 01:19:12,026 ...me not relying on you and... 1430 01:19:13,496 --> 01:19:15,964 ...it got me thinking... 1431 01:19:16,132 --> 01:19:18,225 ...about that stupid truck... 1432 01:19:18,401 --> 01:19:20,392 ...you drew in your wedding vow notebook. 1433 01:19:20,570 --> 01:19:24,062 And I know this is gonna sound so weird but... 1434 01:19:27,877 --> 01:19:30,402 ...it's why I love you. 1435 01:19:30,980 --> 01:19:35,212 You don't always say the right things or do the right things but somehow... 1436 01:19:36,185 --> 01:19:40,315 ...I know you would jump through a hoop of fire for me. 1437 01:19:41,324 --> 01:19:43,690 Hey, can you do me a favor? 1438 01:19:44,761 --> 01:19:48,925 I think you should come to your window. 1439 01:20:08,918 --> 01:20:11,478 I left my vow book at home so... 1440 01:20:11,654 --> 01:20:13,815 ...I figured I should write a few of them here. 1441 01:20:16,392 --> 01:20:17,484 What do you think? 1442 01:20:27,003 --> 01:20:29,062 - I am so sorry. I messed up. - Me too. 1443 01:20:29,238 --> 01:20:31,399 There's so much to say. I just didn't know how. 1444 01:20:31,574 --> 01:20:34,407 I need to stop doing everything myself and share the reins. 1445 01:20:34,577 --> 01:20:36,977 No matter what I do, I know you're gonna support me. 1446 01:20:37,146 --> 01:20:39,614 If I'm ever blindfolded, you're the one to guide me. 1447 01:20:39,782 --> 01:20:42,148 I want to have as many kids as we possibly can. 1448 01:20:42,318 --> 01:20:44,343 Really? After Macy's, I definitely want two. 1449 01:20:44,520 --> 01:20:46,044 I need to be more decisive. 1450 01:20:46,222 --> 01:20:48,656 - About napkins, about... - Napkins, cheese, anything... 1451 01:20:48,825 --> 01:20:51,453 ...at the end of the day, I'm gonna rely on you. 1452 01:20:51,627 --> 01:20:54,721 Because nothing means more to me than you. 1453 01:20:54,897 --> 01:20:57,798 Nothing. I love you. 1454 01:20:57,967 --> 01:20:59,832 I love you. 1455 01:21:07,543 --> 01:21:09,977 What's going on here? 1456 01:21:10,880 --> 01:21:14,714 Reverend Frank? What are you doing here? 1457 01:21:15,351 --> 01:21:17,819 Reverend Frank is everywhere, remember? 1458 01:21:17,987 --> 01:21:19,921 Thought you two broke up. 1459 01:21:20,089 --> 01:21:23,490 We did. We just sort of talked it through. 1460 01:21:23,659 --> 01:21:26,822 Seems like we have more faith in each other than we thought. 1461 01:21:27,296 --> 01:21:28,285 Congratulations. 1462 01:21:28,464 --> 01:21:30,557 You just passed the course with flying colors. 1463 01:21:31,868 --> 01:21:33,335 So how about it? 1464 01:21:33,503 --> 01:21:35,698 Do you think we should get this wedding started? 1465 01:21:37,406 --> 01:21:38,532 I do. 1466 01:21:39,475 --> 01:21:42,137 And do you, Benjamin Fitzpatrick Murphy... 1467 01:21:42,311 --> 01:21:47,408 ...take Sadie Wilhelmina Jones to be your lawfully wedded wife? 1468 01:21:47,583 --> 01:21:50,780 - I do. - The rings. 1469 01:21:54,657 --> 01:21:56,716 "Never to fart"? 1470 01:21:56,893 --> 01:21:58,019 Oh, my God. 1471 01:21:58,194 --> 01:22:00,754 I didn't change it. I'm gonna change it when I get back. 1472 01:22:00,930 --> 01:22:01,988 - I promise I will. - No. 1473 01:22:02,165 --> 01:22:06,226 Bite your tongue, because I wouldn't want it changed for anything in the whole world. 1474 01:22:06,402 --> 01:22:07,994 No. 1475 01:22:15,578 --> 01:22:17,102 Ready? 1476 01:22:19,081 --> 01:22:22,016 By the power vested in me by God... 1477 01:22:22,185 --> 01:22:27,213 ...and the Minister of National Security and Justice of Ocho Rios, Jamaica... 1478 01:22:27,390 --> 01:22:31,383 ...I now pronounce you husband and wife. 1479 01:23:11,567 --> 01:23:14,092 You gotta turn. There it is! 1480 01:23:27,850 --> 01:23:30,546 Frank, we just wanted to come and thank you for everything. 1481 01:23:30,720 --> 01:23:33,245 - I'm just fulfilling my life's calling. - You know what? 1482 01:23:33,422 --> 01:23:36,619 - We wouldn't have gotten here without you. - Thanks. 1483 01:23:36,792 --> 01:23:39,317 You're gonna have a wonderful life. I have no doubts. 1484 01:23:39,495 --> 01:23:43,261 Excuse me, may I borrow my daughter... Your wife, for a dance? 1485 01:23:43,432 --> 01:23:45,127 - Yes, please. - Thank you. 1486 01:23:45,301 --> 01:23:47,701 - Bye. - You look beautiful. 1487 01:23:47,870 --> 01:23:49,394 Hey, can I ask you a question? 1488 01:23:49,572 --> 01:23:50,630 Sure. 1489 01:23:50,806 --> 01:23:53,331 When did you know that we were ready to get married? 1490 01:23:53,509 --> 01:23:58,105 The moment you told Joel that Sadie wasn't a fish, I knew it was meant to be. 1491 01:23:58,281 --> 01:24:01,444 Besides, anybody who kicks a reverend's ass for his woman... 1492 01:24:01,617 --> 01:24:03,016 ...you're A-okay in my book. 1493 01:24:03,185 --> 01:24:04,243 Well... 1494 01:24:05,021 --> 01:24:07,990 You're starting an incredible journey with a wonderful partner. 1495 01:24:08,157 --> 01:24:09,317 Thank you. 1496 01:24:09,492 --> 01:24:12,984 And on the honeymoon, act surprised. 1497 01:24:13,162 --> 01:24:14,493 I will. 1498 01:24:14,664 --> 01:24:17,531 - Take care of yourself, B. - You too, Frank. 1499 01:24:27,343 --> 01:24:29,334 Oh, my God. 1500 01:24:34,216 --> 01:24:36,912 - Wait. - No, that's what they're supposed to do. 1501 01:24:37,086 --> 01:24:40,852 I know. I lost... We broke... 1502 01:24:41,023 --> 01:24:42,820 But it's okay if we laugh, right? 1503 01:24:42,992 --> 01:24:44,550 It's not okay if we laugh, is it? 1504 01:24:47,930 --> 01:24:50,023 - You broke! - I did not. 1505 01:24:50,633 --> 01:24:52,726 We still got a siren. My ride's here. 1506 01:24:52,902 --> 01:24:56,201 I like shooting downtown L.A., because pretty much you got 911 all day. 1507 01:24:56,372 --> 01:24:57,361 I'll be over here. 1508 01:25:01,344 --> 01:25:05,337 Whoa! "Be chill, don't kill." 1509 01:25:05,514 --> 01:25:08,483 That goes for you too, Mr. Simpson. Okay. 1510 01:25:11,754 --> 01:25:13,346 I thought you'd work so hard! 1511 01:25:14,657 --> 01:25:17,922 Just get me a bottle of water and a rubber mallet. 1512 01:25:23,699 --> 01:25:27,601 Come on. Thrust it, thrust it, thrust it! 1513 01:25:29,472 --> 01:25:32,908 People, we can do this. They're not that... 1514 01:25:33,075 --> 01:25:34,804 Ben? 1515 01:25:38,581 --> 01:25:43,018 Help out, everybody. Motherf* * * er. 1516 01:25:43,519 --> 01:25:45,783 You play cutch? 1517 01:25:45,955 --> 01:25:46,944 "Cutch." 1518 01:25:47,123 --> 01:25:50,581 Let me walk back and cutch, which is a old game. 1519 01:25:50,760 --> 01:25:52,921 That's scary that I could say it like that... 1520 01:25:53,429 --> 01:25:55,124 Oh, my God. 1521 01:25:56,132 --> 01:25:57,997 No. Stop. 1522 01:26:01,237 --> 01:26:04,138 I'm gonna look like such a rookie, because every time... 1523 01:26:04,974 --> 01:26:06,635 Cut. 1524 01:26:11,080 --> 01:26:12,445 - Yeah! - Yeah! 112813