All language subtitles for 8.Simple.Rules.for.Dating.My.Teenage.Daughter.S02E13.Opposites.Attract.Part.1.of.3.1080p.DSNP.WEB-DL.DD+5.1.H.264-playWEB_track3_[eng]
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1
00:00:00,099 --> 00:00:04,557
HEY, LOOK WHAT THE VALENTINE'S
DAY ELF BROUGHT YOU.
2
00:00:04,557 --> 00:00:08,016
THE BAG SAYS
"CAR WASH" ON IT.
3
00:00:08,016 --> 00:00:09,641
IT WAS ON THE WAY HOME.
4
00:00:09,641 --> 00:00:11,641
AUNT CATE...
5
00:00:11,641 --> 00:00:13,932
BE MINE.
6
00:00:13,932 --> 00:00:15,557
CAR FRESHENER.
7
00:00:15,557 --> 00:00:17,682
WELL, YOU KNOW, C.J.,
NOTHING SAYS "BE MINE"
8
00:00:17,682 --> 00:00:20,224
LIKE "YOUR CAR STINKS."
9
00:00:20,224 --> 00:00:23,057
AND, BRIDGET...
10
00:00:23,057 --> 00:00:26,641
A GENUINE BOBBLEHEAD DOLL
OF MR. WAYNE GRETZKY.
11
00:00:28,932 --> 00:00:31,182
YOU'RE WELCOME.
12
00:00:31,182 --> 00:00:34,099
AND WHAT DID THE ELF
GET FOR KERRY THE ELF?
13
00:00:34,099 --> 00:00:36,141
SOME WATER...
14
00:00:36,141 --> 00:00:37,557
FROM FRANCE.
15
00:00:39,682 --> 00:00:42,474
SURE, THEY'RE COWARDS, BUT
THEY DO MAKE THE BEST WATER.
16
00:00:44,282 --> 00:00:45,699
AND, RORY, I'M SORRY.
17
00:00:45,699 --> 00:00:48,199
THERE'S NOTHING
IN THE ELF BAG FOR YOU...
18
00:00:48,199 --> 00:00:50,366
EXCEPT...
19
00:00:50,366 --> 00:00:53,366
A POSTCARD OF TWO GORILLAS
DRINKING BEER.
20
00:00:53,366 --> 00:00:57,241
IT DOESN'T SOUND LIKE MUCH,
BUT IT MADE ME LAUGH.
21
00:00:57,241 --> 00:01:00,241
TWO GORILLAS DRINKING BEER
MADE YOU --
22
00:01:03,324 --> 00:01:07,574
AND FOR MY FAVORITE
GAMPY...
23
00:01:07,574 --> 00:01:09,741
SEA MONKEYS?
24
00:01:11,241 --> 00:01:14,199
THEY SAY PETS MAKE OLD PEOPLE
LIVE LONGER.
25
00:01:17,116 --> 00:01:18,491
FOR EVERY ACTION,
26
00:01:18,491 --> 00:01:20,866
THERE IS AN EQUAL
AND OPPOSITE REACTION.
27
00:01:20,866 --> 00:01:22,782
WHEN YOU SIT IN YOUR CHAIR...
28
00:01:22,782 --> 00:01:24,699
ANYWAY, I REALLY LIKE
THE HIGH-RISE THONG,
29
00:01:24,699 --> 00:01:27,032
BUT ALL THEY SEEM TO MAKE
ARE THE LOW-RIDING KIND.
30
00:01:27,032 --> 00:01:28,241
THAT IS SO TRUE.
31
00:01:28,241 --> 00:01:29,574
I JUST HATE THAT.
32
00:01:29,574 --> 00:01:31,657
YOU KNOW, I APPRECIATE
YOUR UNDERWEAR DILEMMA,
33
00:01:31,657 --> 00:01:33,491
BUT I'M TRYING TO LISTEN
TO THE TEACHER.
34
00:01:33,491 --> 00:01:34,991
I'M TRYING TO LISTEN, TOO.
35
00:01:34,991 --> 00:01:37,074
ANYWAY, THE LOW-RIDING THONG
DRIVES ME NUTS.
36
00:01:37,074 --> 00:01:38,907
I CAN'T STAND THE WAY --
EXCUSE ME.
37
00:01:38,907 --> 00:01:40,282
I'M TALKING.
38
00:01:40,282 --> 00:01:42,116
NONSTOP.
39
00:01:42,116 --> 00:01:44,782
JEREMY, BRIDGET,
IS THERE A PROBLEM?
40
00:01:44,782 --> 00:01:45,866
NO.
I'M FINE.
41
00:01:45,866 --> 00:01:48,366
SCIENCE GEEK.
MORON.
42
00:01:48,366 --> 00:01:51,657
OKAY, JEREMY AND BRIDGET
ARE GOING TO BE LAB PARTNERS.
43
00:01:51,657 --> 00:01:55,032
AND KELLY AND JENNA,
44
00:01:55,032 --> 00:01:57,782
AND SCOTT AND SHARON.
45
00:01:57,782 --> 00:01:59,616
GREAT. YAY.
46
00:01:59,616 --> 00:02:01,741
NOW WE HAVE
TO WORK TOGETHER.
YOU KNOW WHAT?
47
00:02:01,741 --> 00:02:03,991
JUST KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT
AND WE'LL BOTH GET A's.
48
00:02:03,991 --> 00:02:05,157
YOU KNOW WHAT?
49
00:02:05,157 --> 00:02:07,657
KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT
AND WE'LL BOTH GET D's.
50
00:02:07,657 --> 00:02:09,282
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
51
00:02:09,282 --> 00:02:11,949
DID YOU SAY YOU'RE GETTING
AN "A" IN THIS CLASS?
52
00:02:11,949 --> 00:02:13,366
YEP.
53
00:02:13,366 --> 00:02:15,532
HOW 'BOUT ENGLISH?
GETTING AN "A" IN THAT, TOO?
54
00:02:15,532 --> 00:02:16,741
WHAT ABOUT ENGLISH.
55
00:02:16,741 --> 00:02:18,991
NO, I ASKED,
"ARE YOU GETTING AN 'A'?"
56
00:02:18,991 --> 00:02:21,616
NO, IT'S "WHAT ABOUT ENGLISH?"
NOT "HOW ABOUT ENGLISH?"
57
00:02:21,616 --> 00:02:23,574
I MEAN, MAYBE IF
YOU SPOKE ENGLISH --
58
00:02:23,574 --> 00:02:26,824
AND MAYBE IF
YOU SPOKE...REGULAR.
59
00:02:28,449 --> 00:02:29,949
OKAY, HERE'S THE THING.
60
00:02:29,949 --> 00:02:31,699
SEE, MY GRADES ARE
JUST A WEE BIT LOWER
61
00:02:31,699 --> 00:02:34,866
THAN THEY NEED TO BE FOR ME
TO GET INTO COLLEGE.
SHOCKER.
62
00:02:34,866 --> 00:02:37,574
MY MOM'S TOTALLY FREAKING OUT
ABOUT ME GOING TO COLLEGE,
63
00:02:37,574 --> 00:02:39,449
AS IF MY ENTIRE FUTURE
RIDES ON IT.
64
00:02:39,449 --> 00:02:41,657
BUT LOOK AT ME.
YOU KNOW I'M GONNA MARRY WELL.
65
00:02:41,657 --> 00:02:43,366
AND OFTEN.
66
00:02:43,366 --> 00:02:45,449
THAT IS SO SWEET.
67
00:02:45,449 --> 00:02:47,657
SO, YOU KNOW WHAT
I WAS THINKING IS
68
00:02:47,657 --> 00:02:50,199
MAYBE YOU COULD BE
MY LAB PARTNER IN ENGLISH
69
00:02:50,199 --> 00:02:51,699
AND IN SCIENCE.
70
00:02:51,699 --> 00:02:53,282
DON'T YOU MEAN YOUR TUTOR?
71
00:02:53,282 --> 00:02:55,366
TUTOR, LAB PARTNER --
WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE?
72
00:02:55,366 --> 00:02:57,407
ABOUT 10 BUCKS AN HOUR.
73
00:02:57,407 --> 00:02:59,282
COME ON.
YOU GET TO BE WITH ME.
74
00:02:59,282 --> 00:03:01,324
$15.
75
00:03:03,741 --> 00:03:06,741
THIS IS JUST GONNA BE THE MOST
ROMANTIC VALENTINE'S DAY EVER.
76
00:03:06,741 --> 00:03:08,032
WHY'S THAT?
77
00:03:08,032 --> 00:03:10,282
DYLAN'S GONNA PICK ME UP
IN HIS CONVERTIBLE
78
00:03:10,282 --> 00:03:11,616
AND SHOWER ME WITH GIFTS.
79
00:03:11,616 --> 00:03:13,782
I JUST LOVE VALENTINE'S DAY.
80
00:03:13,782 --> 00:03:14,991
IT'S TOTALLY STUPID.
81
00:03:14,991 --> 00:03:16,116
HUH?
82
00:03:17,699 --> 00:03:19,449
IT'S A MADE-UP
CORPORATE HOLIDAY.
83
00:03:19,449 --> 00:03:21,824
THERE'S SO MUCH PRESSURE
TO DO SOMETHING BIG,
84
00:03:21,824 --> 00:03:24,324
BUT EVERYONE JUST WINDS UP
DOING SOMETHING MECHANICAL
85
00:03:24,324 --> 00:03:26,366
AND ROTE AND WITH
NO FEELING AT ALL.
86
00:03:26,366 --> 00:03:29,366
YEAH. AND THOSE LITTLE HEARTS
TASTE LIKE CHALK.
87
00:03:31,199 --> 00:03:33,657
I REMEMBER IN HIGH SCHOOL
I NEEDED A DUFFEL BAG
88
00:03:33,657 --> 00:03:35,616
TO CARRY ALL THE CARDS I GOT.
89
00:03:35,616 --> 00:03:37,782
OH, YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME?
90
00:03:37,782 --> 00:03:39,824
SURE, I MAY NOT BE MUCH NOW,
91
00:03:39,824 --> 00:03:42,782
AS A RESULT OF SOME HARD
AND, YES, QUESTIONABLE LIVING,
92
00:03:42,782 --> 00:03:45,199
BUT BACK IN HIGH SCHOOL,
I WAS BUFF, YOUNG,
93
00:03:45,199 --> 00:03:47,324
AND TAN, GOOD-LOOKING.
94
00:03:47,324 --> 00:03:49,366
YEAH, I WAS THE MAN.
95
00:03:49,366 --> 00:03:51,241
OH, YEAH?
SHOW US A PICTURE.
96
00:03:51,241 --> 00:03:53,074
LET'S SEE
YOUR YEARBOOK.
97
00:03:54,657 --> 00:03:57,199
THE MAN WAS SICK
ON PICTURE DAY.
98
00:04:00,866 --> 00:04:03,366
GRANDPA, WHAT ARE YOU DOING
FOR VALENTINE'S DAY?
99
00:04:03,366 --> 00:04:04,741
NOTHING.
100
00:04:04,741 --> 00:04:06,074
NOTHING?
101
00:04:06,074 --> 00:04:07,699
NO, THAT'S ONE OF
THE GREAT THINGS
102
00:04:07,699 --> 00:04:09,366
ABOUT HAVING YOUR WIFE
LEAVE YOU.
103
00:04:09,366 --> 00:04:11,824
YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO A SINGLE
THING ON VALENTINE'S DAY.
104
00:04:11,824 --> 00:04:14,282
NOTHING, NADA, ZIPPO.
105
00:04:14,282 --> 00:04:16,407
WELL, IF YOU WERE
GETTING GRAM SOMETHING --
106
00:04:16,407 --> 00:04:18,199
OH, PLEASE.
YOU CAN'T WIN THAT ONE.
107
00:04:18,199 --> 00:04:21,282
EVERY YEAR YOU GOT TO TOP
WHAT YOU GAVE THE YEAR BEFORE.
108
00:04:21,282 --> 00:04:23,907
YOU GIVE 'EM FLOWERS,
YOU GOT TO GIVE 'EM MORE FLOWERS
109
00:04:23,907 --> 00:04:26,324
AND NOT THE ONES FROM THE YARD.
NO, NO.
110
00:04:26,324 --> 00:04:28,616
YOU GOT TO PAY THOSE JACKED-UP
STORE PRICES
111
00:04:28,616 --> 00:04:32,657
FOR THE SAME DAMN FLOWERS
EXCEPT THEY HAVE CELLOPHANE.
112
00:04:32,657 --> 00:04:34,991
AND DON'T GET ME
STARTED ON CANDY.
113
00:04:34,991 --> 00:04:36,907
DON'T WORRY.
I GOT THE POINT.
114
00:04:36,907 --> 00:04:38,699
YOU GET 'EM A BIG BOX
OF CHOCOLATES,
115
00:04:38,699 --> 00:04:40,866
AND IT'S LIKE, "HEY,
WHAT'D YOU GET ME THAT FOR?
116
00:04:40,866 --> 00:04:42,199
IT'S SO FATTENING."
117
00:04:42,199 --> 00:04:44,366
YOU GET 'EM A LITTLE BITTY BOX
AND IT'S LIKE,
118
00:04:44,366 --> 00:04:45,866
"OH, SO YOU THINK I'M FAT."
119
00:04:45,866 --> 00:04:47,907
NOW, JEWELRY IS THE WORST.
120
00:04:47,907 --> 00:04:49,949
GRAMPS, I GOT TO GO.
121
00:04:53,574 --> 00:04:55,824
NO, DYLAN, YOU SHUT UP.
122
00:04:55,824 --> 00:04:57,741
NO, YOU SHUT UP.
123
00:04:57,741 --> 00:04:59,366
DYLAN, YOU SHUT UP.
124
00:04:59,366 --> 00:05:01,866
OKAY, YOU SHUT UP.
125
00:05:01,866 --> 00:05:03,949
OKAY, BYE.
126
00:05:03,949 --> 00:05:05,491
MY NEW BOYFRIEND --
127
00:05:05,491 --> 00:05:07,366
HE SO GETS ME.
128
00:05:08,866 --> 00:05:10,824
MM-HMM.
129
00:05:10,824 --> 00:05:12,366
ALL RIGHT.
130
00:05:12,366 --> 00:05:15,157
SO, WHAT IS EURIPIDES
TRYING TO SAY ABOUT WAR
131
00:05:15,157 --> 00:05:17,032
AND THE TROJAN WOMEN?
132
00:05:19,157 --> 00:05:20,449
WHY AM I
GETTING THE IMPRESSION
133
00:05:20,449 --> 00:05:22,157
THAT YOU DIDN'T EVEN
READ THE PLAY?
134
00:05:22,157 --> 00:05:24,241
WELL, I KIND OF GOT AS FAR
AS THE TROJAN
135
00:05:24,241 --> 00:05:25,824
AND STARTED TO GIGGLE.
136
00:05:31,241 --> 00:05:33,782
ALL RIGHT, BRIDGET,
YOU HAVE TO LISTEN, OKAY?
137
00:05:33,782 --> 00:05:37,074
NOW, HELEN IS THE FACE
THAT LAUNCHED A THOUSAND SHIPS.
138
00:05:38,074 --> 00:05:39,449
LET ME PUT IT
IN YOUR WORDS.
139
00:05:39,449 --> 00:05:41,282
UM, SHE WAS, LIKE,
TOTALLY HOT.
140
00:05:43,199 --> 00:05:45,907
OHHH.
141
00:05:45,907 --> 00:05:49,199
SO THAT'S WHY MEN
WENT TO WAR FOR HER.
142
00:05:49,199 --> 00:05:51,616
THAT ACTUALLY BRINGS UP
AN INTERESTING POINT.
143
00:05:53,032 --> 00:05:54,866
DO YOU THINK THE WAR
STARTED OVER A WOMAN,
144
00:05:54,866 --> 00:05:57,282
OR DO YOU THINK THE GREEKS
WERE TRYING TO GET CONTROL
145
00:05:57,282 --> 00:05:58,532
OVER A WATERWAY?
146
00:05:58,532 --> 00:06:01,157
CAN I USE A LIFELINE?
147
00:06:04,991 --> 00:06:07,907
MOM, WHAT'S THE BEST GIFT
DAD EVER GOT YOU
148
00:06:07,907 --> 00:06:09,366
FOR VALENTINE'S DAY?
149
00:06:11,032 --> 00:06:14,366
WELL, YOUR DAD AND I
HAD THIS TRADITION.
150
00:06:14,366 --> 00:06:17,866
HE WOULD GET ME MY FAVORITE
BOTTLE OF CHAMPAGNE,
151
00:06:17,866 --> 00:06:22,574
AN AMAZING BOX OF CHOCOLATE
TRUFFLES, AND ONE RED ROSE.
152
00:06:22,574 --> 00:06:25,157
JUST ONE?
DAD WAS CHEAP?
153
00:06:26,157 --> 00:06:27,532
NO.
154
00:06:27,532 --> 00:06:29,407
WELL...
155
00:06:29,407 --> 00:06:30,949
NO.
156
00:06:30,949 --> 00:06:33,616
IT'S JUST THAT WE DECIDED
A LONG TIME AGO
157
00:06:33,616 --> 00:06:36,449
THAT A SMALL TASTE
OF THE BEST OF SOMETHING
158
00:06:36,449 --> 00:06:40,032
WAS BETTER THAN A HUGE AMOUNT
OF SOMETHING JUST SO-SO.
159
00:06:40,032 --> 00:06:42,657
THAT'S REALLY ROMANTIC.
YEAH.
160
00:06:42,657 --> 00:06:44,282
AND CHEAP.
161
00:06:46,699 --> 00:06:48,449
JEREMY, PLEASE DON'T GO.
162
00:06:48,449 --> 00:06:50,074
I NEED TO STUDY.
163
00:06:50,074 --> 00:06:52,032
BRIDGET, I HAVE MY OWN
STUDYING TO DO.
164
00:06:52,032 --> 00:06:54,116
I'M NOT GONNA WASTE MY TIME
WITH SOMEONE
165
00:06:54,116 --> 00:06:56,574
WHO USES HER CELLPHONE
LIKE IT'S PROVIDING OXYGEN.
166
00:07:03,741 --> 00:07:06,199
WHAT?
167
00:07:06,199 --> 00:07:09,199
BRIDGET, YOU KNOW YOU'RE NOT
SUPPOSED TO HAVE A GUY
168
00:07:09,199 --> 00:07:10,574
IN YOUR ROOM.
169
00:07:10,574 --> 00:07:12,199
I AM TRYING TO GET
INTO COLLEGE.
170
00:07:12,199 --> 00:07:14,907
DID HE SAY HE COULD
GET YOU INTO COLLEGE?
171
00:07:17,282 --> 00:07:20,282
SO, WHAT ARE YOU AND KYLE
DOING FOR VALENTINE'S DAY?
172
00:07:20,282 --> 00:07:22,741
OH, WE'RE GOING TO THE MOVIES.
IT'S NO BIG DEAL.
173
00:07:22,741 --> 00:07:24,366
KERRY, THIS IS YOUR FIRST
VALENTINE'S DAY
174
00:07:24,366 --> 00:07:26,199
WITH A BOYFRIEND
INSTEAD OF A STUFFED ANIMAL.
175
00:07:26,199 --> 00:07:28,991
YOU MIGHT WANT TO LIGHTEN UP
AND ENJOY IT.
176
00:07:28,991 --> 00:07:30,199
IT'S TOTALLY STUPID.
177
00:07:30,199 --> 00:07:32,241
IT'S A DAY THAT EXISTS
TO POINT OUT
178
00:07:32,241 --> 00:07:34,199
WHO HAS SOMEBODY
AND WHO DOESN'T.
179
00:07:34,199 --> 00:07:36,574
AND IT MAKES THE PEOPLE
WHO DON'T FEEL AWFUL.
180
00:07:36,574 --> 00:07:39,574
OH, KERRY, IT'S OKAY.
YOU'RE NOT ONE OF THEM ANYMORE.
181
00:07:39,574 --> 00:07:40,782
THAT IS THE PAST,
182
00:07:40,782 --> 00:07:43,199
AND THIS YEAR YOU'LL BE
GETTING A VALENTINE CARD
183
00:07:43,199 --> 00:07:44,741
THAT YOU DIDN'T MAIL
TO YOURSELF.
184
00:07:44,741 --> 00:07:46,241
I'VE NEVER MAILED --
185
00:07:49,491 --> 00:07:51,616
AND KYLE IS GOING
TO WINE AND DINE YOU
186
00:07:51,616 --> 00:07:53,241
AND SHOWER YOU
WITH PRESENTS,
187
00:07:53,241 --> 00:07:55,074
AND BY THE END
OF THE NIGHT,
188
00:07:55,074 --> 00:07:57,116
YOU ARE GONNA FEEL
LIKE A PRINCESS.
189
00:07:57,116 --> 00:08:00,199
WELL, I GUESS FEELING LIKE
A PRINCESS JUST ONCE
190
00:08:00,199 --> 00:08:02,574
WOULDN'T TOTALLY SUCK.
191
00:08:04,199 --> 00:08:05,407
IT'S DYLAN.
192
00:08:05,407 --> 00:08:07,907
PROBABLY WANTS TO KNOW WHAT
TO GET ME FOR VALENTINE'S.
193
00:08:07,907 --> 00:08:09,241
HI, DYLAN.
194
00:08:09,241 --> 00:08:11,366
I LIKE DARK CHOCOLATE,
ANYTHING GUMMY --
195
00:08:11,366 --> 00:08:12,991
WHAT?
196
00:08:12,991 --> 00:08:14,324
WHAT?
197
00:08:14,324 --> 00:08:16,449
OKAY, WHATEVER.
198
00:08:16,449 --> 00:08:18,074
BYE.
199
00:08:18,074 --> 00:08:21,074
I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS.
HE JUST HAD TO CANCEL.
200
00:08:21,074 --> 00:08:24,157
WHY?
SOMETHING ABOUT
APPENDICITIS.
201
00:08:24,157 --> 00:08:26,032
APPENDICITIS?
THAT'S AWFUL.
202
00:08:26,032 --> 00:08:27,407
YEAH, AND ON
VALENTINE'S DAY.
203
00:08:27,407 --> 00:08:29,324
WHY DOES EVERYTHING
HAPPEN TO ME?
204
00:08:31,199 --> 00:08:33,616
KERRY, I LIVE
FOR VALENTINE'S DAY.
205
00:08:33,616 --> 00:08:36,991
I MEAN, IT'S A DAY SET ASIDE
FOR BEAUTIFUL GIRLS.
206
00:08:38,199 --> 00:08:40,157
SO, YOU DON'T THINK
THAT UNATTRACTIVE PEOPLE
207
00:08:40,157 --> 00:08:41,574
FALL IN LOVE?
208
00:08:41,574 --> 00:08:43,907
OH, KERRY, THAT'S NOT LOVE.
THAT'S COMPANY.
209
00:08:49,824 --> 00:08:51,824
HI, GRANDPA.
210
00:08:51,824 --> 00:08:54,407
DID YOU NAME
YOUR SEA MONKEYS YET?
211
00:08:55,741 --> 00:08:58,741
C.J., WOULD YOU COME OVER HERE
FOR A MINUTE?
212
00:08:58,741 --> 00:09:00,157
I WANT TO TALK TO YOU.
213
00:09:01,949 --> 00:09:04,282
WHERE'S THE CANE?
214
00:09:06,241 --> 00:09:07,866
THROW IT OVER THERE.
215
00:09:14,657 --> 00:09:17,824
YOU KNOW, C.J.,
IT REALLY HURTS MY FEELINGS
216
00:09:17,824 --> 00:09:20,699
WHEN YOU MAKE JOKES
ABOUT ME BEING OLD.
217
00:09:20,699 --> 00:09:22,657
REALLY?
218
00:09:22,657 --> 00:09:24,991
GRANDPA, I FEEL TERRIBLE.
219
00:09:24,991 --> 00:09:27,699
I THINK I NEED TO DRINK
SOMETHING TO FEEL BETTER.
220
00:09:27,699 --> 00:09:31,282
OR, OR YOU COULD DO ME
A LITTLE FAVOR.
221
00:09:31,282 --> 00:09:33,074
SURE.
WHAT DO YOU NEED?
222
00:09:33,074 --> 00:09:35,241
WELL, I WANT YOU
TO BUY ME SOME DRUGS.
223
00:09:35,241 --> 00:09:37,574
IS THIS A STING?
224
00:09:39,116 --> 00:09:42,157
NO, NO.
IT'S MEDICATION FOR MY HIP.
225
00:09:42,157 --> 00:09:43,366
OH, COOL. RIGHT.
226
00:09:43,366 --> 00:09:45,324
OKAY, WHY DON'T YOU
GET A PEN,
227
00:09:45,324 --> 00:09:48,241
AND IF YOU COULD
WRITE IT DOWN ON A...
228
00:09:48,241 --> 00:09:50,574
PIECE OF PAPER.
229
00:09:50,574 --> 00:09:54,157
ACETYLSALICYLIC ACID?
230
00:09:54,157 --> 00:09:56,324
ALL RIGHT, I'M ON IT.
231
00:09:56,324 --> 00:09:58,324
HEY, THANK YOU, SON.
232
00:09:58,324 --> 00:10:00,907
THE THING OF IT IS
IT'S ON BACK ORDER RIGHT NOW,
233
00:10:00,907 --> 00:10:03,282
AND THE ONLY PLACE
YOU CAN GET IT IS CANADA.
234
00:10:03,282 --> 00:10:04,241
WHAT?!
235
00:10:06,157 --> 00:10:10,282
DUDE, I'M NOT GOING TO CANADA
FOR YOU ON VALENTINE'S DAY.
236
00:10:10,282 --> 00:10:12,782
I'LL NEVER MAKE IT BACK
IN TIME FOR LAST CALL,
237
00:10:12,782 --> 00:10:15,407
AND THAT'S WHEN I
GET GOOD-LOOKING.
238
00:10:20,991 --> 00:10:23,199
ALL RIGHT, OLD YELLER,
I'LL GO.
239
00:10:25,032 --> 00:10:26,991
I'LL BE BACK
AS SOON AS I CAN.
240
00:10:26,991 --> 00:10:28,324
THANK YOU, SON.
241
00:10:29,241 --> 00:10:32,824
WHAT A TOOL.
242
00:10:40,449 --> 00:10:42,282
HEY, HONEY.
243
00:10:42,282 --> 00:10:44,032
HEY, MOM.
244
00:10:46,157 --> 00:10:47,782
OH --
245
00:10:47,782 --> 00:10:49,366
OH, MY GOD.
246
00:10:49,366 --> 00:10:52,366
I CAN'T BELIEVE
YOU DID THIS.
247
00:10:52,366 --> 00:10:53,407
WELL, I --
248
00:10:53,407 --> 00:10:55,616
RORY, THIS IS
THE SWEETEST THING
249
00:10:55,616 --> 00:10:58,157
ANYONE HAS EVER
DONE FOR ME.
250
00:10:58,157 --> 00:11:01,157
HONEY, THANK YOU SO MUCH.
251
00:11:01,157 --> 00:11:04,907
THANK YOU, REALLY,
FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART.
252
00:11:04,907 --> 00:11:07,282
OH, RORY.
253
00:11:14,032 --> 00:11:16,157
HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY, MOM.
254
00:11:24,907 --> 00:11:26,157
HEY, ROR.
255
00:11:26,157 --> 00:11:27,282
HEY, MISSY.
256
00:11:27,282 --> 00:11:28,949
HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY.
257
00:11:28,949 --> 00:11:30,574
WOW.
258
00:11:30,574 --> 00:11:32,657
THIS IS SO COOL.
259
00:11:41,157 --> 00:11:42,866
I HAVE TO TELL YOU, KERRY,
260
00:11:42,866 --> 00:11:45,741
THIS IS THE BEST
VALENTINE'S DAY EVER.
261
00:11:45,741 --> 00:11:48,366
THAT IS SO SWEET.
262
00:11:48,366 --> 00:11:50,324
SO DO YOU WANT
TO EXCHANGE GIFTS NOW,
263
00:11:50,324 --> 00:11:52,366
OR DO YOU WANT TO WAIT
FOR LATER?
264
00:11:52,366 --> 00:11:54,324
HA! GOOD ONE.
265
00:11:54,324 --> 00:11:57,324
THANKS.
266
00:11:57,324 --> 00:11:59,157
YOU KNOW,
AND TO THINK LAST YEAR
267
00:11:59,157 --> 00:12:01,199
I BOUGHT YOUR SISTER
ALL THAT STUFF.
268
00:12:01,199 --> 00:12:04,282
I MEAN, I'M SAVING,
LIKE, SO MUCH MONEY.
269
00:12:06,574 --> 00:12:09,532
SO, WHAT MOVIE
DO YOU WANT TO SEE?
270
00:12:09,532 --> 00:12:13,366
THERE'S THAT LOVEY-DOVEY
SANDRA BULLOCK MOVIE.
271
00:12:13,366 --> 00:12:15,199
YEAH, I WOULD HAVE
DEFINITELY GOT STUCK
272
00:12:15,199 --> 00:12:17,157
SEEING THAT ONE
LAST YEAR...
273
00:12:17,157 --> 00:12:18,824
BUT NOT THIS YEAR.
274
00:12:18,824 --> 00:12:21,491
I LOVE GOING OUT WITH YOU.
275
00:12:21,491 --> 00:12:25,199
YEAH, I LOVE GOING OUT
WITH YOU, TOO.
276
00:12:25,199 --> 00:12:27,866
"NIGHT OF THE GORY
DEAD CORPSES."
277
00:12:27,866 --> 00:12:29,241
ONE, PLEASE.
278
00:12:35,866 --> 00:12:38,782
YOU KNOW, AT FIRST, I THOUGHT
THE PLAY WAS REALLY ROMANTIC,
279
00:12:38,782 --> 00:12:40,241
BUT THEN THE END
IS SO SAD.
280
00:12:40,241 --> 00:12:43,824
IT'S LIKE EURIPIDES
IS SAYING WAR IS BAD.
281
00:12:43,824 --> 00:12:45,241
WOW.
282
00:12:45,241 --> 00:12:47,157
YOU ACTUALLY
UNDERSTAND THE PLAY.
283
00:12:47,157 --> 00:12:49,741
YOU KNOW, YOU'RE NOT
AS DUMB AS YOU LOOK.
284
00:12:49,741 --> 00:12:51,782
THANK YOU.
285
00:12:51,782 --> 00:12:54,491
AND YOU'RE NOT AS DULL
AS YOU LOOK.
286
00:12:54,491 --> 00:12:57,782
WELL, LOOK AT YOU --
A GRAMMATICALLY CORRECT INSULT.
287
00:12:57,782 --> 00:12:58,991
SHUT UP.
288
00:12:58,991 --> 00:13:00,116
YOU SHUT UP.
289
00:13:00,116 --> 00:13:01,282
NO, YOU SHUT UP.
290
00:13:01,282 --> 00:13:02,324
NO, YOU SHUT UP.
291
00:13:02,324 --> 00:13:05,199
HELLO, BRIDGET, JEREMY.
292
00:13:05,199 --> 00:13:07,241
HEY, JENNA.
293
00:13:07,241 --> 00:13:09,074
WELL, I'M GONNA GO
FIND OUR WAITRESS,
294
00:13:09,074 --> 00:13:10,866
SEE WHAT'S HAPPENING
WITH OUR SHAKES.
295
00:13:12,616 --> 00:13:14,116
WOW.
296
00:13:14,116 --> 00:13:16,282
DON'T YOU TWO
MAKE A CUTE COUPLE.
297
00:13:16,282 --> 00:13:17,199
ME AND JEREMY?
298
00:13:17,199 --> 00:13:19,491
NO, NO. YOU DON'T THINK
WE'RE TOGETHER TOGETHER.
299
00:13:19,491 --> 00:13:21,407
HE'S MY TUTOR.
OH, REALLY?
300
00:13:21,407 --> 00:13:24,366
WHAT'S HE TUTORING
YOU IN -- LOVE?
301
00:13:24,366 --> 00:13:25,657
WE WERE STUDYING
AT MY HOUSE
302
00:13:25,657 --> 00:13:27,241
AND WANTED TO GET
SOMETHING TO EAT.
303
00:13:27,241 --> 00:13:29,907
I'M TOTALLY GOING OUT WITH
DYLAN, WHO'S GOT APPENDICITIS.
304
00:13:29,907 --> 00:13:31,157
YEAH, RIGHT, BRIDG.
305
00:13:31,157 --> 00:13:32,824
HE WAS GONNA
TAKE MY OUT ANYWAY,
306
00:13:32,824 --> 00:13:33,991
BUT I WAS LIKE,
"DYLAN, YOU CAN'T DRIVE
307
00:13:33,991 --> 00:13:35,032
WITH YOUR GUTS
HANGING OUT."
308
00:13:35,032 --> 00:13:37,324
CALL THE HOSPITAL.
HE'S THERE.
309
00:13:37,324 --> 00:13:38,574
I'M JUST TEASING.
310
00:13:38,574 --> 00:13:41,282
I PROMISE I WON'T TELL ANYONE
YOU'RE HERE, OKAY?
311
00:13:43,366 --> 00:13:45,449
HAPPY
VALENTINE'S DAY.
312
00:13:48,241 --> 00:13:50,199
WELL, OUR SHAKES
ARE COMING.
313
00:13:50,199 --> 00:13:53,116
SOMETHING ABOUT
THE MACHINE BEING BROKEN.
314
00:13:55,366 --> 00:13:56,824
THAT TWO-FACED LIAR.
315
00:13:56,824 --> 00:13:58,699
NO, I THINK SHE WAS
TELLING THE TRUTH.
316
00:13:58,699 --> 00:14:00,574
THE MANAGER'S BACK THERE
WORKING ON IT.
317
00:14:00,574 --> 00:14:02,199
SO, WHERE WERE WE?
318
00:14:02,199 --> 00:14:03,366
OH, THAT'S RIGHT.
319
00:14:03,366 --> 00:14:05,241
YOU WERE PRETENDING NEVER
TO HAVE NOTICED ME.
320
00:14:05,241 --> 00:14:07,991
CAN WE JUST
STICK TO THE STUFF
321
00:14:07,991 --> 00:14:09,491
THAT'S GONNA BE
ON THE TEST?
322
00:14:09,491 --> 00:14:11,616
WHY? YOU KNOW THE MATERIAL
BACKWARDS AND FORWARDS.
323
00:14:11,616 --> 00:14:13,782
YOU CAN GO BACK TO TELLING ME
TO SHUT UP AND STUFF.
324
00:14:13,782 --> 00:14:15,699
OKAY, SHUT UP.
NO, YOU SHUT UP.
325
00:14:15,699 --> 00:14:17,449
DO YOU HAVE
TO TALK SO LOUD?
326
00:14:17,449 --> 00:14:19,866
WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL?
327
00:14:27,032 --> 00:14:29,324
OH, I GET IT.
328
00:14:29,324 --> 00:14:31,241
YOU DO?
329
00:14:31,241 --> 00:14:34,366
YEAH.
YEAH, IT'S PRETTY CLEAR.
330
00:14:34,366 --> 00:14:37,616
WELL, I GOT TO GO.
331
00:14:37,616 --> 00:14:39,157
MY GIRLFRIEND'S WAITING,
332
00:14:39,157 --> 00:14:42,116
AND MARCHING-BAND PRACTICE
JUST GOT OUT.
333
00:14:42,116 --> 00:14:43,491
I GOT TO GO MEET HER.
334
00:14:43,491 --> 00:14:46,324
WE'RE GONNA GO SHOPPING
FOR XYLOPHONES.
335
00:14:49,157 --> 00:14:51,366
THANK YOU.
YEAH.
336
00:14:51,366 --> 00:14:54,199
SO, IF YOU JUST WANT TO PAY ME,
I'LL GET OUT OF HERE.
337
00:14:56,532 --> 00:14:58,241
DOUBLE.
338
00:14:58,241 --> 00:14:59,866
IT'S A HOLIDAY.
339
00:15:08,741 --> 00:15:11,532
HERE, THESE ARE FOR YOU.
340
00:15:11,532 --> 00:15:14,532
OH, RORY,
THIS IS SO SWEET.
341
00:15:14,532 --> 00:15:17,574
AREN'T THESE THE SILK FLOWERS
FROM THE BATHROOM?
342
00:15:17,574 --> 00:15:20,991
UH...UH...
343
00:15:20,991 --> 00:15:22,449
WOMEN.
344
00:15:24,949 --> 00:15:27,032
Cate:
RORY!
345
00:15:27,032 --> 00:15:28,157
WAIT HERE ONE SEC.
346
00:15:28,157 --> 00:15:30,032
OKAY.
347
00:15:30,032 --> 00:15:32,449
HONEY,
ABOUT THESE GIFTS --
348
00:15:32,449 --> 00:15:34,741
YOU KNOW, THE CIDER
AND CHOCOLATE.
349
00:15:34,741 --> 00:15:36,574
I REALIZED
I MADE A MISTAKE.
350
00:15:36,574 --> 00:15:38,824
MAKE SURE THEY GET
TO THEIR RIGHTFUL OWNER.
351
00:15:38,824 --> 00:15:41,532
NO, MOM, THEY'RE FOR YOU.
YOU KEEP THEM.
352
00:15:41,532 --> 00:15:45,532
UM, HONEY, THOSE SILK FLOWERS
FROM THE BATHROOM,
353
00:15:45,532 --> 00:15:47,741
THEY'RE REALLY EXPENSIVE.
354
00:15:50,324 --> 00:15:51,491
GET 'EM BACK.
355
00:15:57,532 --> 00:15:59,657
HERE --
HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY.
356
00:15:59,657 --> 00:16:03,491
OH, RORY,
THIS IS SO ROMANTIC.
357
00:16:03,491 --> 00:16:04,366
THANK YOU.
358
00:16:04,366 --> 00:16:06,032
SHOULD I GET US
TWO GLASSES?
359
00:16:06,032 --> 00:16:07,074
OKAY.
360
00:16:08,282 --> 00:16:10,366
HEY, THIS IS
USED CHOCOLATE.
361
00:16:10,366 --> 00:16:12,699
WHAT?
362
00:16:12,699 --> 00:16:14,991
YEAH, SOMEONE ATE,
LIKE, HALF THE BOX.
363
00:16:16,116 --> 00:16:17,282
Sorry.
364
00:16:22,032 --> 00:16:24,991
ISN'T A SMALL AMOUNT
OF SOMETHING REALLY GOOD
365
00:16:24,991 --> 00:16:28,366
BETTER THAN A WHOLE LOT OF
SOMETHING THAT'S ONLY SO-SO?
366
00:16:28,366 --> 00:16:32,032
SOUNDS LIKE A FANCY WAY
OF SAYING "CHEAP."
367
00:16:32,032 --> 00:16:33,907
BUT I -- LET ME --
368
00:16:33,907 --> 00:16:35,699
I'LL JUST SEE YOU
MONDAY.
369
00:16:39,491 --> 00:16:41,616
I TOLD YOU.
370
00:16:48,449 --> 00:16:50,574
LOOK AT THE BOUQUET
THAT GIRL HAS.
371
00:16:50,574 --> 00:16:53,074
IT'S SO GIGANTIC
SHE CAN BARELY WALK.
372
00:16:53,074 --> 00:16:56,907
YEAH. FOOL PROBABLY SPENT,
LIKE, 50 BUCKS ON THAT.
373
00:16:56,907 --> 00:16:59,782
I DON'T NECESSARILY
THINK HE'S A FOOL.
374
00:16:59,782 --> 00:17:01,616
DUMB CORPORATE HOLIDAY.
375
00:17:01,616 --> 00:17:02,616
FLOWER FOR
THE PRETTY LADY?
376
00:17:02,616 --> 00:17:04,907
NO, THANK YOU.
377
00:17:04,907 --> 00:17:07,074
GOD, KYLE.
378
00:17:07,074 --> 00:17:08,407
WHAT'S WRONG?
379
00:17:08,407 --> 00:17:10,241
WHAT'S WRONG?
380
00:17:10,241 --> 00:17:12,407
IT'S VALENTINE'S DAY.
381
00:17:12,407 --> 00:17:13,199
EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK,
382
00:17:13,199 --> 00:17:15,199
PEOPLE ARE BEING
SHOWERED WITH GIFTS
383
00:17:15,199 --> 00:17:17,741
AND HAVING THE BEST, MOST
ROMANTIC NIGHT OF THEIR LIVES,
384
00:17:17,741 --> 00:17:19,824
AND YOU MAKE ME BUY
MY OWN TICKET TO A MOVIE
385
00:17:19,824 --> 00:17:22,324
WHERE PEOPLE IN THE AUDIENCE
ARE LITERALLY VOMITING.
386
00:17:23,866 --> 00:17:26,574
YOU SAID YOU HATED
VALENTINE'S DAY.
387
00:17:26,574 --> 00:17:29,241
I KNOW. I DO.
388
00:17:29,241 --> 00:17:33,407
THEN STUPID BRIDGET GOT ME
ALL EXCITED ABOUT IT.
389
00:17:33,407 --> 00:17:35,491
NEVER MIND.
JUST TAKE ME HOME.
390
00:17:35,491 --> 00:17:37,491
WHAT? NO, NO.
391
00:17:37,491 --> 00:17:41,532
LOOK, OKAY, I WASN'T GONNA GIVE
YOU THIS UNTIL AFTER MIDNIGHT,
392
00:17:41,532 --> 00:17:44,574
BECAUSE THEN IT WOULDN'T
BE VALENTINE'S DAY ANYMORE,
393
00:17:44,574 --> 00:17:48,282
BUT YOUR OWN SPECIAL DAY.
394
00:17:48,282 --> 00:17:51,157
WELL, YOU LOOK
SO SAD, SO...
395
00:17:51,157 --> 00:17:52,491
HERE.
396
00:17:52,491 --> 00:17:54,532
WHAT IS IT?
397
00:17:54,532 --> 00:17:55,782
OPEN IT.
398
00:18:07,157 --> 00:18:09,157
OH, MY GOD.
399
00:18:11,032 --> 00:18:13,366
THESE ARE ALL
OF OUR E-MAILS.
400
00:18:14,324 --> 00:18:17,366
YOU MADE OUR E-MAILS
INTO A BOOK?
401
00:18:17,366 --> 00:18:19,324
YEAH.
402
00:18:19,324 --> 00:18:23,491
THIS IS...SO INCREDIBLY
ROMANTIC.
403
00:18:25,032 --> 00:18:27,866
AND I AM SUCH
A GOOD WRITER.
404
00:18:29,907 --> 00:18:31,282
MOM, IT WAS SO CLOSE.
405
00:18:31,282 --> 00:18:33,699
I MEAN, MY REPUTATION
COULD HAVE BEEN RUINED.
406
00:18:33,699 --> 00:18:36,532
WHAT WAS I THINKING,
GOING OUT WITH JEREMY
ON VALENTINE'S DAY?
407
00:18:36,532 --> 00:18:39,282
MAYBE YOU JUST ASSUMED --
WHEN HE SAID HE HAD
TO MEET HIS GIRLFRIEND,
408
00:18:39,282 --> 00:18:40,616
I THINK THEY BELIEVED HIM.
409
00:18:40,616 --> 00:18:43,616
THAT WAS REALLY NICE OF HIM
TO MAKE THAT UP FOR YOU.
410
00:18:43,616 --> 00:18:44,991
YEAH, I THINK
HE MADE IT UP.
411
00:18:44,991 --> 00:18:47,866
I MEAN, THE GUY CAN'T ACTUALLY
HAVE A GIRLFRIEND, RIGHT?
412
00:18:47,866 --> 00:18:49,116
I MEAN, CAN HE?
413
00:18:49,116 --> 00:18:50,282
HMM.
414
00:18:50,282 --> 00:18:52,324
A SMART, CUTE,
THOUGHTFUL GUY
415
00:18:52,324 --> 00:18:55,616
WITH A BRIGHT FUTURE GETTING
A DATE IN HIGH SCHOOL?
416
00:18:55,616 --> 00:18:57,407
I DOUBT IT.
417
00:18:57,407 --> 00:18:59,324
I THINK I'M GONNA
CALL HIM AND THANK HIM
418
00:18:59,324 --> 00:19:00,532
FOR WHAT HE DID.
419
00:19:00,532 --> 00:19:01,741
YOU'RE GONNA CALL HIM?
420
00:19:01,741 --> 00:19:03,741
WELL, IT WAS NICE.
DON'T YOU THINK IT WAS NICE?
421
00:19:03,741 --> 00:19:05,949
HE TAUGHT ME SO MUCH.
422
00:19:05,949 --> 00:19:07,741
SOUNDS TO ME
LIKE YOU LIKE HIM.
423
00:19:07,741 --> 00:19:09,449
LIKE, LIKE HIM, LIKE HIM?
424
00:19:10,949 --> 00:19:12,366
NO, NO WAY.
425
00:19:12,366 --> 00:19:13,324
NO.
426
00:19:13,324 --> 00:19:15,241
WHATEVER YOU SAY.
427
00:19:15,241 --> 00:19:16,741
NO, NO WAY!
428
00:19:18,324 --> 00:19:20,782
WELL, HAVE YOU
CALLED DYLAN YET?
429
00:19:20,782 --> 00:19:24,241
WHY WOULD I CALL HIM?
HE RUINED MY VALENTINE'S DAY.
430
00:19:24,241 --> 00:19:27,282
WELL, HONEY, HE'S LAID UP IN
THE HOSPITAL WITH APPENDICITIS.
431
00:19:27,282 --> 00:19:29,824
HE AIN'T DOING
SO GOOD RIGHT NOW.
432
00:19:29,824 --> 00:19:32,324
WELL.
433
00:19:32,324 --> 00:19:33,532
WHAT?
434
00:19:33,532 --> 00:19:35,866
HE AIN'T DOING SO WELL.
435
00:19:39,532 --> 00:19:41,157
HUH.
436
00:19:41,157 --> 00:19:43,032
GOOD NIGHT, MOM.
GOOD NIGHT, HONEY.
437
00:19:44,324 --> 00:19:46,449
THAT WAS VERY NICE --
438
00:19:46,449 --> 00:19:48,324
IT WAS REAL NICE
WHAT YOU DID TONIGHT.
439
00:19:48,324 --> 00:19:50,366
IT WAS REAL NICE
WHAT YOU DID.
440
00:19:50,366 --> 00:19:52,282
REALLY NICE?
441
00:19:52,282 --> 00:19:55,282
SUPERNICE -- THAT WAS SUPERNICE
WHAT YOU DID.
442
00:20:04,324 --> 00:20:06,449
HELLO?
443
00:20:06,449 --> 00:20:08,157
HELLO?
444
00:20:09,699 --> 00:20:11,449
HELLO-O-O?
445
00:20:19,157 --> 00:20:20,657
GRANDPA,
DON'T ANSWER THAT.
446
00:20:20,657 --> 00:20:21,907
OKAY.
447
00:20:24,157 --> 00:20:25,532
HELLO?
448
00:20:25,532 --> 00:20:27,199
HEY, IT'S C.J.
449
00:20:27,199 --> 00:20:29,866
ACETYLSALICYLIC ACID?
450
00:20:29,866 --> 00:20:32,866
YOU SENT ME ALL THE WAY
TO CANADA FOR ASPIRIN?
451
00:20:41,032 --> 00:20:44,449
C.J., THE PAIN IN MY HIP
IS STILL HERE,
452
00:20:44,449 --> 00:20:47,824
BUT NOW THE PAIN IN MY ASS
IS IN CANADA.
31324
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