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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,325 --> 00:00:03,866 Hey, honey. 2 00:00:03,866 --> 00:00:07,033 Do you suppose you could slam the door a little louder? 3 00:00:07,033 --> 00:00:10,325 Wow. Somebody's stressed out. 4 00:00:10,325 --> 00:00:12,075 Oh, paying the bills. 5 00:00:12,075 --> 00:00:14,325 Your time of the month. 6 00:00:14,325 --> 00:00:16,991 I don't think we can take our family vacation. 7 00:00:16,991 --> 00:00:18,991 Our college funds aren't growing. 8 00:00:18,991 --> 00:00:21,991 We make a good living. Money shouldn't be such an issue. 9 00:00:21,991 --> 00:00:25,658 It's an issue for anyone who wants to send their kids to college. 10 00:00:25,658 --> 00:00:28,241 Even party schools are 30 grand a year these days. 11 00:00:30,325 --> 00:00:33,991 At this rate, Bridget's gonna have to go to a junior party school. 12 00:00:35,325 --> 00:00:36,658 Oh, great, you're here. 13 00:00:36,658 --> 00:00:41,950 Kids, Cate, I've got some disappointing news. 14 00:00:41,950 --> 00:00:43,991 We're gonna have to do some belt tightening, 15 00:00:43,991 --> 00:00:47,408 and I don't think we can go to the cabin at the lake this year. 16 00:00:49,283 --> 00:00:52,700 I said I don't think we can go to the cabin at the lake this year. 17 00:00:52,700 --> 00:00:54,325 - No, Dad. - It's terrible. 18 00:00:54,325 --> 00:00:55,450 Nuts. 19 00:00:58,908 --> 00:01:01,450 You have to work on your fake disappointment. 20 00:01:03,575 --> 00:01:08,325 Mom, Dad, Bridget and I have an idea on how we can save money around here. 21 00:01:08,325 --> 00:01:10,408 How? By talking less on the phone? 22 00:01:10,408 --> 00:01:13,658 Close. Going to Florida for Spring Break! 23 00:01:15,825 --> 00:01:17,283 How is that close? 24 00:01:17,283 --> 00:01:20,991 If we're in Florida, we can't be here talking on the phone. 25 00:01:20,991 --> 00:01:22,950 Plus, it won't cost you anything. 26 00:01:22,950 --> 00:01:25,408 We can get tickets using frequent flyer miles. 27 00:01:25,408 --> 00:01:27,991 Miles I earned by talking on the phone. 28 00:01:27,991 --> 00:01:30,241 And charging clothes to my credit card. 29 00:01:30,241 --> 00:01:31,616 And Mom's. 30 00:01:31,616 --> 00:01:34,116 You know, girls, even if money wasn't an issue, 31 00:01:34,116 --> 00:01:37,950 Do you really think we would let you go to Florida unsupervised? 32 00:01:37,950 --> 00:01:40,991 But I visualized it! 33 00:01:40,991 --> 00:01:43,783 You're not going. End of discussion! 34 00:01:43,783 --> 00:01:47,200 Easy. You don't have to get all Great Santini on us. 35 00:01:48,366 --> 00:01:50,366 Yeah. Great Santini. 36 00:01:51,325 --> 00:01:53,116 Hey, who's Great Santini? 37 00:01:53,991 --> 00:01:57,158 Man, no lake this year. 38 00:01:57,158 --> 00:01:59,991 This was one of our last shots at a family vacation. 39 00:01:59,991 --> 00:02:02,616 In a couple years the girls will be at college. 40 00:02:02,616 --> 00:02:04,908 No, they won't. We don't have any money. 41 00:02:04,908 --> 00:02:06,116 Oh, God. 42 00:02:06,116 --> 00:02:10,033 But you know, they just gave me a good idea. 43 00:02:10,033 --> 00:02:15,283 We could all go to Florida and stay for free at my parents' house in Sarasota. 44 00:02:15,283 --> 00:02:17,408 Vacation with your parents? 45 00:02:17,408 --> 00:02:19,408 That's not how I visualized it! 46 00:02:20,658 --> 00:02:22,241 But, honey, you need a break. 47 00:02:22,241 --> 00:02:24,200 I know. I'd love us all to be together. 48 00:02:24,200 --> 00:02:26,491 - I don't know. - My parents won't be there. 49 00:02:26,491 --> 00:02:27,991 They're going on a cruise. 50 00:02:27,991 --> 00:02:30,241 Kids, good news. We're going to Florida! 51 00:02:49,283 --> 00:02:51,408 Well, here we are, God's waiting room. 52 00:02:53,783 --> 00:02:56,325 It smells like 1945 in here. 53 00:02:56,325 --> 00:03:00,741 Everyone in this place looks like they host 60 Minutes. 54 00:03:00,741 --> 00:03:04,533 I'm gonna do a recon. Sometimes Grandpa drops money he can't pick up. 55 00:03:05,325 --> 00:03:07,325 Look at all these photos. 56 00:03:07,325 --> 00:03:09,450 There's a great one of you and the kids. 57 00:03:09,450 --> 00:03:11,366 Ted and your sister. 58 00:03:11,366 --> 00:03:13,325 Ted and your sister. 59 00:03:13,325 --> 00:03:16,408 Ooh! Your sister and Ted. 60 00:03:16,408 --> 00:03:18,908 In front of Ted's bank. 61 00:03:18,908 --> 00:03:21,241 It's a shrine to Ted. Not one picture of me. 62 00:03:21,241 --> 00:03:23,491 Well, look. Here's one of all of us. 63 00:03:23,491 --> 00:03:26,200 Honey, that's just my right eye. 64 00:03:27,033 --> 00:03:29,241 Mom couldn't fit everyone in. 65 00:03:29,241 --> 00:03:32,325 It was my birthday. I was blowing out the candles. 66 00:03:34,241 --> 00:03:37,325 It's all right. No hard feelings. I'm here to have a good time. 67 00:03:37,325 --> 00:03:39,700 Ooh, nice picture of Ted, though. With our kids. 68 00:03:42,200 --> 00:03:45,200 There's a chair in the shower. What's that all about? 69 00:03:46,241 --> 00:03:47,991 Kerry, let's go see the pool. 70 00:03:47,991 --> 00:03:50,658 I'll go with you. I'm gonna check out the babes. 71 00:03:51,825 --> 00:03:53,825 My God, which ones are the men? 72 00:03:55,241 --> 00:03:58,283 Cate, when was this photo taken? 73 00:03:58,283 --> 00:04:02,575 Oh. College. Sophomore year. 74 00:04:02,575 --> 00:04:06,325 Oh, right. We don't talk about sophomore year. 75 00:04:09,408 --> 00:04:12,116 When you broke up with me to see other people. 76 00:04:12,116 --> 00:04:14,575 - I changed my mind, didn't I? - A little too late. 77 00:04:14,575 --> 00:04:18,866 Called me up, put the phone to the stereo so I could hear Baby Come Back. 78 00:04:18,866 --> 00:04:22,116 - I was in pain. - Good. A taste of your own medicine. 79 00:04:22,116 --> 00:04:24,325 Look, you want to talk... 80 00:04:24,325 --> 00:04:27,325 This is why we don't talk about sophomore year. 81 00:04:27,325 --> 00:04:29,658 I know. It's ridiculous. We're on vacation. 82 00:04:29,658 --> 00:04:32,116 We're gonna have a good time. The kids are gone. 83 00:04:32,116 --> 00:04:35,991 Your parents aren't here. What do you say we relive junior year? 84 00:04:35,991 --> 00:04:38,325 Oh, yeah, Maneater. 85 00:04:39,450 --> 00:04:41,700 Look out, here I come. 86 00:04:41,700 --> 00:04:43,325 Hang on. 87 00:04:44,116 --> 00:04:46,075 Hello. 88 00:04:46,075 --> 00:04:48,325 Uh, no, they're on a cruise. 89 00:04:48,325 --> 00:04:51,283 Yeah, this is their son-in-law. 90 00:04:51,283 --> 00:04:53,575 No, not the banker. The other son-in-law. 91 00:04:54,616 --> 00:04:56,325 Yes, they do. 92 00:04:56,991 --> 00:04:58,616 Yes, they do! 93 00:04:58,616 --> 00:05:00,116 Yes, they do! 94 00:05:01,200 --> 00:05:03,325 Hey, Magnum. 95 00:05:03,325 --> 00:05:05,325 Where's T.C.? 96 00:05:07,950 --> 00:05:11,366 I'm just gonna sit on the veranda and read a book. 97 00:05:11,366 --> 00:05:15,533 What have they got here? Life Begins at 50. 98 00:05:15,533 --> 00:05:18,116 Life Begins at 60. 99 00:05:18,116 --> 00:05:20,991 Life Begins at 70 and... 100 00:05:20,991 --> 00:05:22,700 Cryogenics. 101 00:05:26,158 --> 00:05:28,825 - Kerry and I are going to the beach. - OK. 102 00:05:28,825 --> 00:05:32,325 But I expect you girls to carry yourselves like Hennessy women. 103 00:05:32,325 --> 00:05:35,241 If I find out that you were anywhere near a party, 104 00:05:35,241 --> 00:05:39,741 I'm gonna make you take long walks with your father while he wears that shirt. 105 00:05:39,741 --> 00:05:42,533 And I have matching shorts. 106 00:05:42,533 --> 00:05:46,033 Eew. Kerry, come on. We're missing the peak tanning hours. 107 00:05:46,033 --> 00:05:48,325 I'm ready. 108 00:05:48,325 --> 00:05:51,616 For what, beekeeping? 109 00:05:51,616 --> 00:05:54,325 Do not tease your sister. She has fair skin. 110 00:05:54,325 --> 00:05:56,658 All right, go on. Have fun, Bridget. 111 00:05:56,658 --> 00:05:59,408 And you too, Casper. 112 00:05:59,408 --> 00:06:02,283 - I'm off to the beach with Jake. - Who's Jake? 113 00:06:02,283 --> 00:06:04,783 - A friend I made at the pool. - Wait a second, Rory. 114 00:06:04,783 --> 00:06:08,450 - We don't know this Jake. - We should meet his parents first. 115 00:06:08,450 --> 00:06:10,241 OK. 116 00:06:10,241 --> 00:06:13,450 Jake, my folks would like to meet your parents. 117 00:06:17,658 --> 00:06:20,158 Got a Ouija board? 118 00:06:20,158 --> 00:06:22,700 That's Jake. You're Jake? 119 00:06:22,700 --> 00:06:25,450 Yes, sir, Jake Fisher, apartment 14-H. 120 00:06:25,450 --> 00:06:28,075 You've got a nice polite boy here. 121 00:06:28,075 --> 00:06:30,658 So, can I go? Jake's gonna teach me about the ocean. 122 00:06:30,658 --> 00:06:33,116 He was in the Pacific during World War II. 123 00:06:33,116 --> 00:06:36,283 Iwo Jima. Ring any bells? 124 00:06:37,283 --> 00:06:39,991 Oh, well, I guess it's OK. 125 00:06:39,991 --> 00:06:43,325 How can we say no to a member of the Greatest Generation? 126 00:06:43,325 --> 00:06:47,325 You're very kind. And I must say, it's a pleasure to finally meet you. 127 00:06:47,325 --> 00:06:51,241 I've heard so much about Paul, the hugely successful son-in-law. 128 00:06:51,241 --> 00:06:52,825 - See? - You've read my column? 129 00:06:52,825 --> 00:06:55,325 Column? I thought you were a banker. 130 00:06:57,616 --> 00:07:01,158 Can you believe that, all those college kids drinking 131 00:07:01,158 --> 00:07:04,241 and blocking traffic? 132 00:07:04,241 --> 00:07:07,283 Paul, were you driving with your arm out the window? 133 00:07:07,283 --> 00:07:10,325 Yeah, why? Ow! 134 00:07:10,325 --> 00:07:13,325 Oh, my God. It was only for ten minutes. 135 00:07:13,325 --> 00:07:15,658 Hey, Mom, Dad. 136 00:07:15,658 --> 00:07:17,908 Did you dip your arm in paint? 137 00:07:19,075 --> 00:07:21,325 - How was hanging out with Jake? - Great. 138 00:07:21,325 --> 00:07:24,866 Being old is cool. You get to yell at people, park anywhere, 139 00:07:24,866 --> 00:07:26,366 take your teeth out. 140 00:07:27,783 --> 00:07:30,116 I can't wait. 141 00:07:30,116 --> 00:07:34,325 I'm two different colors. I look like one of Garth Brooks' shirts. 142 00:07:34,325 --> 00:07:37,200 I'm Cameron Hughes in downtown Sarasota, 143 00:07:37,200 --> 00:07:41,325 where I'm surrounded by the annual horde of spring breakers. 144 00:07:41,325 --> 00:07:43,241 Cate, take a look at this. 145 00:07:43,241 --> 00:07:45,783 It's pandemonium here. 146 00:07:45,783 --> 00:07:49,158 This was the scene an hour ago, when we first arrived at Beach Balls, 147 00:07:49,158 --> 00:07:50,783 a popular local bar. 148 00:07:50,783 --> 00:07:53,658 The styles may have changed, but the behavior has not. 149 00:07:53,658 --> 00:07:56,783 - How do local residents feel? - Do you see that girl? 150 00:07:56,783 --> 00:07:59,616 Oh, yeah. Talk about "news flash." 151 00:07:59,616 --> 00:08:01,450 Rory! 152 00:08:01,450 --> 00:08:05,325 She can't even be out of high school. She's about the same age as... 153 00:08:05,325 --> 00:08:07,325 As a matter of fact, she looks like... 154 00:08:07,325 --> 00:08:09,825 - ...a lot like... - Bridget! 155 00:08:12,033 --> 00:08:14,241 You don't think that's me, do you? 156 00:08:14,241 --> 00:08:16,075 - Of course not. - No. 157 00:08:16,075 --> 00:08:17,533 - That is you! - Definitely. 158 00:08:17,533 --> 00:08:19,325 - That is not me. - Yeah. 159 00:08:19,325 --> 00:08:23,241 That girl has a tattoo. Bridget doesn't have a tattoo that you know of. 160 00:08:23,991 --> 00:08:25,991 Yeah. All right. 161 00:08:25,991 --> 00:08:27,491 Yeah, you're right. 162 00:08:27,491 --> 00:08:30,075 - Sorry. - Sorry isn't good enough. 163 00:08:30,075 --> 00:08:34,283 I'm hurt. How could you think that we would blatantly disobey your orders? 164 00:08:34,283 --> 00:08:36,866 What do we have to do to earn your trust? 165 00:08:36,866 --> 00:08:38,616 Start by blocking the TV. 166 00:08:38,616 --> 00:08:41,325 For one month our peaceful beach community 167 00:08:41,325 --> 00:08:43,408 is taken over by unruly college students 168 00:08:43,408 --> 00:08:45,991 who party literally around the clock. 169 00:08:45,991 --> 00:08:49,866 - Bridget! - It's a funny story, actually. 170 00:08:49,866 --> 00:08:52,325 We were on the beach, minding our own business 171 00:08:52,325 --> 00:08:55,366 when this guy came over and asked us to change a light bulb. 172 00:08:55,366 --> 00:08:59,200 So we went over to his bar and I got up on his shoulders, 173 00:08:59,200 --> 00:09:03,491 - then this news crew came in and... - Please stop. 174 00:09:03,491 --> 00:09:05,658 So much for my family vacation. 175 00:09:05,658 --> 00:09:07,741 I don't even know who my daughters are. 176 00:09:07,741 --> 00:09:10,325 As you can see by this archive footage, 177 00:09:10,325 --> 00:09:14,241 college students have been going wild in Sarasota for decades. 178 00:09:14,241 --> 00:09:16,783 Girls, you can just kiss Spring Break goodbye. 179 00:09:16,783 --> 00:09:20,075 You are grounded. I have never been more disappointed. 180 00:09:20,075 --> 00:09:22,325 Look at that girl. Awesome. 181 00:09:22,325 --> 00:09:25,325 That's not awesome, that's... 182 00:09:25,325 --> 00:09:28,325 Mom? 183 00:09:35,908 --> 00:09:39,241 That's what you meant by carrying yourself like a Hennessy woman? 184 00:09:39,241 --> 00:09:42,366 You were going to town on that beer, Mom. 185 00:09:42,366 --> 00:09:44,366 That was a long time ago. 186 00:09:44,366 --> 00:09:47,366 And that makes it OK? You are such a hypocrite. 187 00:09:47,366 --> 00:09:50,241 Plus you say one thing and do something else. 188 00:09:51,200 --> 00:09:53,366 Oh, my God, you're a... 189 00:09:53,366 --> 00:09:55,325 - I know you're upset. - A Bridget! 190 00:09:55,325 --> 00:09:56,741 - Beekeeper! - Cate! 191 00:09:56,741 --> 00:09:58,700 I'm sorry, I'm sorry. 192 00:09:58,700 --> 00:10:01,825 Look, it was a long time ago. I was in college. 193 00:10:01,825 --> 00:10:04,991 I mean, you were really chugging it. 194 00:10:04,991 --> 00:10:08,366 Kids, that's enough. I want you all to clean up for dinner. 195 00:10:08,366 --> 00:10:11,991 - You can show your mother some respect. - Thank you, Paul. 196 00:10:11,991 --> 00:10:15,366 More respect than she shows herself. 197 00:10:15,366 --> 00:10:18,408 - Oh, don't you start with me. - Hang on a second. 198 00:10:18,408 --> 00:10:21,283 College? We were dating when you were in college. 199 00:10:21,283 --> 00:10:25,033 - Yeah, well, not during... - Sophomore year. 200 00:10:25,033 --> 00:10:27,908 I thought you stayed in and cried the entire time. 201 00:10:27,908 --> 00:10:29,908 Oh, come on. Who really does that? 202 00:10:31,908 --> 00:10:34,450 I did. 203 00:10:34,450 --> 00:10:38,366 Well, you grieved your way and I grieved mine. 204 00:10:38,366 --> 00:10:42,700 All these years your family led me to believe that I destroyed you 205 00:10:42,700 --> 00:10:45,200 and you were holed up suffering for a month. 206 00:10:45,200 --> 00:10:48,283 I was. They didn't film that part. 207 00:10:56,158 --> 00:10:59,366 Paul, what am I gonna tell the girls? 208 00:11:01,241 --> 00:11:03,366 Paul? 209 00:11:03,366 --> 00:11:06,741 So while I was in my room listening to The Best of Bread, 210 00:11:06,741 --> 00:11:09,450 staring at that photo of us at the medieval fair, 211 00:11:09,450 --> 00:11:11,908 you were out doing God knows what. 212 00:11:11,908 --> 00:11:14,158 I think we have bigger fish to fry. 213 00:11:14,158 --> 00:11:16,158 You're right. I'm sorry. 214 00:11:16,158 --> 00:11:19,366 I should be counting my blessings that you didn't meet someone. 215 00:11:20,366 --> 00:11:21,575 Oh, my God. 216 00:11:24,575 --> 00:11:27,491 - Did you love him? - It was one date. 217 00:11:27,491 --> 00:11:31,200 My mom fixed me up. He was a total nerd. 218 00:11:31,200 --> 00:11:33,366 Nothing happened. 219 00:11:33,366 --> 00:11:36,616 - I mean, his name was Byron. - Byron? 220 00:11:37,491 --> 00:11:39,200 So, did you love him? 221 00:11:40,366 --> 00:11:42,700 Can we focus on what's important here? 222 00:11:42,700 --> 00:11:46,283 I have become an excuse for the girls to behave badly. 223 00:11:46,283 --> 00:11:49,908 How am I supposed to discipline them without sounding hypocritical? 224 00:11:49,908 --> 00:11:51,950 So, where did Byron take you? 225 00:11:56,325 --> 00:11:59,950 Girls, good. I wanted to talk to you about what happened yesterday. 226 00:11:59,950 --> 00:12:02,741 Can it wait? We're going swimming with our tops on. 227 00:12:03,783 --> 00:12:05,658 Well, maybe. 228 00:12:05,658 --> 00:12:07,533 Girls. Girls! 229 00:12:09,366 --> 00:12:11,866 Paul, did you see the way they just treated me? 230 00:12:11,866 --> 00:12:15,575 Wow. It's almost as if you exposed your breasts on TV 231 00:12:15,575 --> 00:12:17,783 and then tried to preach morality. 232 00:12:20,491 --> 00:12:22,741 That milk was here before we arrived. 233 00:12:25,325 --> 00:12:26,700 I know. I like it chunky. 234 00:12:33,116 --> 00:12:36,366 - Sir, does he belong to you? - Rory. Officer, what happened? 235 00:12:36,366 --> 00:12:40,491 We had a report of water balloons being thrown at young women wearing t-shirts. 236 00:12:40,491 --> 00:12:42,325 Rory Joseph Hennessy! 237 00:12:42,325 --> 00:12:45,533 Actually, he was filling them up for this guy. 238 00:12:48,950 --> 00:12:51,866 - You? - I was having flashbacks. 239 00:12:53,700 --> 00:12:57,658 You'd think a World War II veteran would conduct himself with more dignity. 240 00:12:57,658 --> 00:13:01,116 Jake, not the World War II story again? 241 00:13:01,116 --> 00:13:03,116 Why won't you ever believe me? 242 00:13:03,116 --> 00:13:06,866 I was on the beaches at Normandy, me and Tom Hanks. 243 00:13:06,866 --> 00:13:10,366 Why, just thinking about it, I... 244 00:13:10,366 --> 00:13:12,366 I better sit down. Where's your shower? 245 00:13:16,283 --> 00:13:18,366 I think you better leave. 246 00:13:18,366 --> 00:13:22,116 If it wasn't for me, you'd have said that in German. 247 00:13:22,116 --> 00:13:24,825 Go to your room. Jake's been a bad influence on you. 248 00:13:24,825 --> 00:13:26,158 Dagnabbit! 249 00:13:29,241 --> 00:13:32,116 Jake's harmless. I've known him for years. 250 00:13:33,866 --> 00:13:36,366 - Are you OK, sir? - It's just that I'm in the middle 251 00:13:36,366 --> 00:13:38,116 of the worst vacation ever. 252 00:13:38,116 --> 00:13:42,533 I came down here because I wanted one last hurrah as head of a happy family. 253 00:13:42,533 --> 00:13:45,033 And what did I get? Kicked in the teeth, pal. 254 00:13:45,033 --> 00:13:48,366 - Kicked in the teeth. - I meant your arm. 255 00:13:49,575 --> 00:13:52,033 Paul, did you see where I put my hat? 256 00:13:52,033 --> 00:13:53,658 Cate, is that you? 257 00:13:53,658 --> 00:13:54,825 Byron? 258 00:13:56,866 --> 00:13:58,741 - Yeah. - Byron? 259 00:13:59,825 --> 00:14:01,366 I hate Florida. 260 00:14:02,866 --> 00:14:04,825 It is you. 261 00:14:04,825 --> 00:14:08,241 Wow. Byron, you really look different. 262 00:14:08,241 --> 00:14:11,158 Really? Maybe I lost a little muscle mass, 263 00:14:11,158 --> 00:14:13,366 but you can't be a bodybuilder forever. 264 00:14:14,241 --> 00:14:16,575 Don't I know that. 265 00:14:16,575 --> 00:14:19,366 I've got a shoulder injury. How much did you bench? 266 00:14:19,366 --> 00:14:22,658 Seven-Adam-12, we have a 9-2-2 in progress on Ocean. 267 00:14:22,658 --> 00:14:24,325 Please respond. 268 00:14:25,325 --> 00:14:26,783 Copy that. 269 00:14:26,783 --> 00:14:30,033 We have an elderly woman driving with her blinker on. 270 00:14:30,033 --> 00:14:32,116 I'm gonna have to go. 271 00:14:33,241 --> 00:14:35,658 Cate, it was really good seeing you again. 272 00:14:39,408 --> 00:14:43,825 - The nerd? - He used to wear glasses. 273 00:14:43,825 --> 00:14:45,700 Did you check out that policeman? 274 00:14:45,700 --> 00:14:48,783 Attention, all cars, there's a hottie in progress. 275 00:14:53,366 --> 00:14:55,408 Hallelujah. 276 00:14:55,408 --> 00:14:57,491 All right. Hands where I can see them. 277 00:14:57,491 --> 00:14:59,366 Byron! 278 00:14:59,366 --> 00:15:01,575 Sandy, how about a beer? 279 00:15:03,366 --> 00:15:06,241 - Oh, hi. - Oh, hey! 280 00:15:06,241 --> 00:15:09,283 - Byron. - Yeah. Yeah. 281 00:15:09,283 --> 00:15:11,616 How funny that I went on a date with your wife? 282 00:15:11,616 --> 00:15:13,366 Hilarious. 283 00:15:13,366 --> 00:15:16,616 Ooh, I guess that sort of adds to the bad day you were having. 284 00:15:16,616 --> 00:15:18,033 A little. It's not you. 285 00:15:18,033 --> 00:15:20,366 It's just, you live with somebody 20 years. 286 00:15:20,366 --> 00:15:22,366 Do you really know them? 287 00:15:22,366 --> 00:15:27,325 I don't know, maybe Cate wishes she married someone more fun, successful, 288 00:15:27,325 --> 00:15:29,825 - better-looking... - Thanks. 289 00:15:29,825 --> 00:15:33,366 - I meant in general. - Come on, what's wrong with you? 290 00:15:33,366 --> 00:15:35,616 - We went on one date. - How did it go? 291 00:15:35,616 --> 00:15:39,033 - There was definitely chemistry. - Chemistry. 292 00:15:40,366 --> 00:15:42,450 She wore this miniskirt. 293 00:15:44,116 --> 00:15:45,325 Whoo! 294 00:15:45,325 --> 00:15:47,366 And after "Whoo"? 295 00:15:47,366 --> 00:15:51,366 Well, we had a nice dinner and some drinks. 296 00:15:51,366 --> 00:15:56,366 Then that song, Baby Come Back, starts playing on the jukebox, 297 00:15:56,366 --> 00:15:58,366 and she starts crying. 298 00:15:58,366 --> 00:16:02,116 She starts talking about this boyfriend she has in Michigan. 299 00:16:02,116 --> 00:16:05,408 How cute he was, how much she missed him and uhh! 300 00:16:05,408 --> 00:16:08,116 Cute? Not handsome or rugged? But I interrupted. 301 00:16:08,116 --> 00:16:10,241 - You go ahead. - That's it. End of story. 302 00:16:10,241 --> 00:16:13,075 - Took her home, called it a night. - Never saw her again? 303 00:16:13,075 --> 00:16:16,366 - I saw her a couple nights later. - Terrific. Second date. 304 00:16:16,366 --> 00:16:19,866 No. I had to arrest her in a bar for flashing. 305 00:16:21,366 --> 00:16:25,116 - So, it was strictly professional. - Oh, yeah. 306 00:16:25,116 --> 00:16:28,700 I can't say that I'm sorry your date turned out bad. 307 00:16:28,700 --> 00:16:30,700 I'll tell you about a bad date. 308 00:16:30,700 --> 00:16:33,991 December 7, 1941. 309 00:16:33,991 --> 00:16:39,366 Me and Ben Affleck, fighting side by side. 310 00:16:39,366 --> 00:16:42,033 As luck would have it, over the same girls. 311 00:16:48,075 --> 00:16:49,616 What are you watching? 312 00:16:49,616 --> 00:16:51,616 Murder, She Wrote. 313 00:16:53,075 --> 00:16:55,700 Jake would have wanted it that way. 314 00:16:55,700 --> 00:17:00,366 Look, Rory, I know you enjoy hanging out with Jake. 315 00:17:00,366 --> 00:17:03,366 But your father and I just want you to spend some time 316 00:17:03,366 --> 00:17:05,450 with someone a little more mature. 317 00:17:08,283 --> 00:17:10,658 Come on, cheer up. 318 00:17:10,658 --> 00:17:14,408 - Have some hard candy. - Hard candy! 319 00:17:21,366 --> 00:17:23,158 Girls, come in here. 320 00:17:23,908 --> 00:17:25,450 What are you doing here? 321 00:17:25,450 --> 00:17:29,991 I thought you'd be at Señor Swanky's for two-for-one tequila slammers. 322 00:17:29,991 --> 00:17:31,908 All right. Sit. 323 00:17:31,908 --> 00:17:33,908 It's time we had a little talk. 324 00:17:38,825 --> 00:17:42,033 OK, look. It's true. 325 00:17:42,033 --> 00:17:45,158 When I was a young woman there were a few moments 326 00:17:45,158 --> 00:17:49,991 where my behavior could have been described as "spirited." 327 00:17:49,991 --> 00:17:52,366 "Spirited?" You flashed a news camera. 328 00:17:53,366 --> 00:17:55,325 Fine. I was a little wild. 329 00:17:55,325 --> 00:17:57,200 You're our mother. 330 00:17:57,200 --> 00:18:00,575 But my behavior, no matter how immature, 331 00:18:00,575 --> 00:18:04,366 does not give you a free pass to behave badly. 332 00:18:04,825 --> 00:18:06,366 Yes, it does. 333 00:18:06,366 --> 00:18:10,825 Look, you guys, I did some stupid things that I regret. 334 00:18:10,825 --> 00:18:13,991 Maybe you could just learn from my regrets. 335 00:18:13,991 --> 00:18:17,533 Or we could do them and learn from our own regrets. 336 00:18:20,366 --> 00:18:23,658 Does it really look like I'm having a good time on that video? 337 00:18:23,658 --> 00:18:26,075 - Yeah! - Yeah! 338 00:18:26,075 --> 00:18:28,366 OK. 339 00:18:28,366 --> 00:18:30,366 I'm gonna start over. 340 00:18:30,366 --> 00:18:34,491 Do as I say, not as I do, or you'll never see daylight again. You got it? 341 00:18:37,075 --> 00:18:39,158 - Got it. - Got it. 342 00:18:39,158 --> 00:18:42,450 - But why did you act like that? - I don't know. 343 00:18:43,741 --> 00:18:47,033 Back then I was confused. 344 00:18:47,033 --> 00:18:49,575 Maybe unhappy. 345 00:18:49,575 --> 00:18:53,366 You know, when your father and I broke up for that year... 346 00:18:53,366 --> 00:18:56,700 And if you ever tell him this, so help me God... 347 00:18:58,241 --> 00:19:00,533 ...I was crushed. 348 00:19:00,533 --> 00:19:05,033 And I was not gonna let any man think he had the upper hand. 349 00:19:05,033 --> 00:19:07,325 So you showed your breasts in public! 350 00:19:09,741 --> 00:19:11,658 Basically. 351 00:19:12,950 --> 00:19:15,616 I wasn't being honest with myself. 352 00:19:15,616 --> 00:19:19,741 I'd changed. I wasn't that party girl anymore. 353 00:19:19,741 --> 00:19:24,116 And it was right about that time that I realized I missed your father. 354 00:19:24,116 --> 00:19:26,408 - That I was in love with him. - Barf. 355 00:19:28,241 --> 00:19:32,366 In fact, it came to me that night I went out with the cop. 356 00:19:32,366 --> 00:19:34,991 You went out with Officer Biceps? 357 00:19:36,366 --> 00:19:38,908 And you're our mother! 358 00:19:38,908 --> 00:19:41,991 Just think, if you'd married him, I'd be even hotter! 359 00:19:44,366 --> 00:19:46,366 Yeah, that's how genetics works. 360 00:19:47,658 --> 00:19:50,366 Oh, hey, everyone. 361 00:19:50,366 --> 00:19:52,491 - You have the talk with the girls? - Yeah. 362 00:19:52,491 --> 00:19:55,200 - I think I got through to them. - Good. 363 00:19:56,866 --> 00:19:59,408 Girls, your father and I need a moment. 364 00:19:59,408 --> 00:20:00,991 Don't mind us. 365 00:20:02,908 --> 00:20:06,825 We're gonna talk about mushy marriage stuff. 366 00:20:06,825 --> 00:20:08,825 - I may kiss him. - OK. Goodbye. 367 00:20:12,366 --> 00:20:17,158 Paul, honey, I'm really sorry that this vacation wasn't all you hoped for. 368 00:20:17,158 --> 00:20:21,033 You know, I went for a walk and it came to me. 369 00:20:21,033 --> 00:20:24,158 This was the best vacation ever. 370 00:20:24,158 --> 00:20:27,366 I'm in Florida with my whole family and best of all, 371 00:20:27,366 --> 00:20:29,366 I get the girl in the end. 372 00:20:30,283 --> 00:20:31,700 You went to a bar. 373 00:20:33,366 --> 00:20:34,908 One. I had one. 374 00:20:35,950 --> 00:20:37,991 I love you, Cate. 375 00:20:38,950 --> 00:20:41,366 I love you, Byron. 376 00:20:41,366 --> 00:20:44,741 - Did you just say that? - You know me, I'm a wild girl! 377 00:20:49,366 --> 00:20:52,366 Andy Rooney, you are right again. 378 00:20:57,908 --> 00:20:59,908 - I was here first. - Tough luck, gramps. 379 00:20:59,908 --> 00:21:03,241 We're back at Beach Balls where the party rages on. 380 00:21:03,241 --> 00:21:07,616 As you can see, Spring Break isn't just for college kids anymore. 381 00:21:08,950 --> 00:21:11,741 - Mom? - Dad? 29764

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