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1
00:00:00,750 --> 00:00:04,000
Get over here.
2
00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:07,542
Hey, hey, hey, no fighting...
so close to the TV.
3
00:00:09,500 --> 00:00:12,917
Kerry tried to cut my hair.
Know how long it took to grow
my bangs?
4
00:00:12,917 --> 00:00:15,083
Do you know how long it took
me to pay for that TV?
5
00:00:15,083 --> 00:00:17,333
OK! She cut my
favorite jeans into shorts.
6
00:00:17,333 --> 00:00:19,958
Bridget, you're up.
7
00:00:19,958 --> 00:00:21,542
OK, here's the thing.
8
00:00:21,542 --> 00:00:24,958
I'm working the pep squad
car wash and I have no shorts
to wear,
9
00:00:24,958 --> 00:00:30,042
none that look good, and these
are jeans I gave to her, because
I'm generous.
10
00:00:30,042 --> 00:00:33,750
When you explain it like that...
You're buying Kerry new jeans.
11
00:00:33,750 --> 00:00:38,333
- Totally unfair.
- And Kerry, is Bridget's
hair safe from bangs?
12
00:00:38,333 --> 00:00:41,167
- For now.
- Good.
13
00:00:41,167 --> 00:00:43,917
- Peace in the kingdom.
- Daddy?
14
00:00:43,917 --> 00:00:47,083
- I was so close.
- Can I have an advance
on my allowance?
15
00:00:47,083 --> 00:00:51,042
No. I advanced three weeks
allowance... I'm talking
yesterday.
16
00:00:51,042 --> 00:00:54,375
That went to Mom for the loan
so I could give you money
for last month.
17
00:00:54,375 --> 00:00:56,792
Huh?! No. Still no.
18
00:00:56,792 --> 00:00:58,750
You're making me
buy Kerry new jeans.
19
00:00:58,750 --> 00:01:01,125
To replace the ones you cut up!
20
00:01:01,125 --> 00:01:03,208
Exactly, can I have the
money, or do I ask Mom?
21
00:01:03,208 --> 00:01:07,042
Bridget. You know, the first
word you ever said was "no,"
22
00:01:07,042 --> 00:01:10,042
and now you act
as if you've never heard it.
23
00:01:10,042 --> 00:01:11,417
It's a good word.
24
00:01:12,250 --> 00:01:15,625
No. No. No!
25
00:01:15,625 --> 00:01:17,583
- You understand
what I'm saying?
- No.
26
00:01:40,208 --> 00:01:41,708
- Dad?
- Huh?
27
00:01:41,708 --> 00:01:44,583
You know how Curtis
has all those cool pets?
28
00:01:44,583 --> 00:01:48,000
He's got a snake,
an iguana, a tarantula...
29
00:01:48,000 --> 00:01:50,375
You know, Curtis
should get an exterminator.
30
00:01:51,417 --> 00:01:54,417
Dad, I really want
something poisonous.
31
00:01:55,500 --> 00:01:57,750
We've had this conversation
before. No.
32
00:01:58,208 --> 00:01:59,958
OK.
33
00:02:01,208 --> 00:02:04,167
Hey... don't go in
my room for a while.
34
00:02:07,042 --> 00:02:09,125
- Hey, Daddy!
- How was shopping?
35
00:02:09,125 --> 00:02:12,458
A bust. Kerry couldn't find
any jeans with character.
36
00:02:12,458 --> 00:02:17,208
- What's that supposed to mean?
- What's that supposed to mean?
37
00:02:17,208 --> 00:02:21,125
I know, bad parenting.
But it was a long day.
38
00:02:21,125 --> 00:02:24,000
- So what's in the bag?
- Just some stuff for Bridget.
39
00:02:24,000 --> 00:02:27,667
What? I said you shouldn't ask
your mother for any money!
40
00:02:27,667 --> 00:02:30,500
I think Mom should
make her own decisions.
41
00:02:30,500 --> 00:02:35,042
Your mother and I are a team,
it's wrong to play one of us
off against the other.
42
00:02:35,167 --> 00:02:37,542
It's hard to argue with success.
43
00:02:37,542 --> 00:02:41,333
Bridget, you didn't tell me your
Dad said not to buy more stuff.
44
00:02:41,333 --> 00:02:43,333
That was between Dad and me.
45
00:02:43,333 --> 00:02:47,042
It's irresponsible of you
to scam money out of your
mother and me,
46
00:02:47,042 --> 00:02:49,708
especially when you use it
to buy junk like this.
47
00:02:49,708 --> 00:02:52,667
Junk? These are necessities.
48
00:02:52,667 --> 00:02:55,583
Beauty mask and facial cleansers
are necessities?
49
00:02:55,583 --> 00:02:57,708
I don't expect you
to understand.
50
00:02:57,708 --> 00:03:00,042
You're married.
No one cares how you look.
51
00:03:02,292 --> 00:03:05,667
- Your father looks fine.
- Fine? Just fine?
52
00:03:05,667 --> 00:03:08,667
- No, let's not get
sidetracked here.
- Are we done yet?
53
00:03:08,667 --> 00:03:12,000
- Are we done talking
about Bridget?
- We are not done talking.
54
00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:14,958
We're gonna have a family
meeting, right now. Rory.
55
00:03:14,958 --> 00:03:17,417
Your dad only calls
a family meeting
56
00:03:17,417 --> 00:03:20,167
when he has something
important to say. So, go.
57
00:03:21,667 --> 00:03:23,542
- Cate?
- Me too?
58
00:03:24,625 --> 00:03:26,333
Oh, man, all right.
59
00:03:27,250 --> 00:03:28,667
Rory!
60
00:03:28,667 --> 00:03:33,125
And since some of you seem
to think I'm your personal
ATM machine,
61
00:03:33,125 --> 00:03:35,542
it's time we had a talk
about responsibility.
62
00:03:35,542 --> 00:03:40,875
- Starting with fiscal
responsibility.
- He's talking about money.
63
00:03:40,875 --> 00:03:44,000
- Oh! Nice of you
to join us, Rory.
- Sorry Dad.
64
00:03:44,000 --> 00:03:46,333
Can we get back on track here?
65
00:03:46,333 --> 00:03:49,083
All right, we are talking
about money here.
66
00:03:49,083 --> 00:03:51,792
None of you kids knows
the value of a dollar.
67
00:03:51,792 --> 00:03:53,583
Will you stop fidgeting!
68
00:03:53,583 --> 00:03:58,333
Sorry, Dad.
Who went in my room last?
69
00:03:58,333 --> 00:04:01,375
God, it's not important.
I'm talking.
70
00:04:02,542 --> 00:04:05,083
Why am I even here?
I'm totally responsible.
71
00:04:05,083 --> 00:04:07,625
- Bridget's the one
who's the money pit.
- That's not true.
72
00:04:07,625 --> 00:04:11,167
- I cut my own shorts yesterday.
- Hey, stop it!
73
00:04:11,167 --> 00:04:15,333
Perhaps I haven't explained
the concept of a family meeting.
74
00:04:15,333 --> 00:04:18,333
Paul, I have a turkey
in the oven.
75
00:04:18,333 --> 00:04:22,083
- No you don't.
- If I did, it'd be done by now.
76
00:04:24,208 --> 00:04:26,708
I'm finishing up, life-mate.
77
00:04:26,708 --> 00:04:30,542
Actually, Bridget, maybe
the best way for you to
learn responsibility
78
00:04:30,542 --> 00:04:32,750
would be, possibly,
to get a job.
79
00:04:32,750 --> 00:04:35,542
- Uh, Paul?
- What do you mean a job?
80
00:04:35,542 --> 00:04:37,792
A job is where people work.
81
00:04:38,417 --> 00:04:40,333
Paul...
82
00:04:40,333 --> 00:04:42,375
mini family meeting.
83
00:04:42,375 --> 00:04:45,708
- Would you like me
to formally adjourn?
- No, I'll do it.
84
00:04:45,708 --> 00:04:47,667
Kids, get out of here.
85
00:04:47,667 --> 00:04:50,750
Bridget, stay close. Try not
to buy anything for a while.
86
00:04:50,750 --> 00:04:53,958
- What?
- Hey! There
you are, little buddy!
87
00:04:55,125 --> 00:04:57,167
- What's that about?
- I don't know.
88
00:04:57,167 --> 00:04:59,625
Paul, what is this
about Bridget getting a job?
89
00:04:59,625 --> 00:05:02,583
I was the same age as Bridget
when I got my first job.
90
00:05:02,583 --> 00:05:05,000
It changed my whole
point of view about life.
91
00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:07,333
Oh, is this the pyramid scheme?
92
00:05:09,042 --> 00:05:13,542
It was called "multi-level
marketing" and we sold a fine
line of vitamins.
93
00:05:13,542 --> 00:05:18,333
If we want to teach Bridget
responsibility, we should
start with something smaller,
94
00:05:18,333 --> 00:05:22,000
like a job at Christmas
or summer vacation or, you know,
95
00:05:22,000 --> 00:05:24,833
getting her to turn off a light
when she leaves a room.
96
00:05:24,833 --> 00:05:28,167
She's taking advantage of
us lately. Nothing we say
gets through.
97
00:05:28,167 --> 00:05:29,625
A job will get her attention.
98
00:05:29,625 --> 00:05:32,958
What if she falls behind in
school, if she gets overwhelmed?
99
00:05:32,958 --> 00:05:36,750
We'll deal with that.
If she doesn't last,
and I don't think she will,
100
00:05:36,750 --> 00:05:40,208
she can't think everything's
just gonna be handed to her.
101
00:05:40,208 --> 00:05:41,583
Oh, Paul, she's just a kid.
102
00:05:41,583 --> 00:05:44,708
Did I tell you how old
I was when I got my job
at the cannery?
103
00:05:44,708 --> 00:05:48,292
- No, not the cannery.
- Honey, I know I'm right
about this.
104
00:05:48,292 --> 00:05:50,750
She's not gonna have us
as a safety net forever.
105
00:05:52,333 --> 00:05:54,042
All right, we can try.
106
00:05:54,042 --> 00:05:56,333
I don't know, Heather,
I'd take him back.
107
00:05:56,333 --> 00:06:00,333
He's cute, he's got a car,
plus he cries. You get a guy
that cries, you own him.
108
00:06:00,333 --> 00:06:04,333
- Bridget, we have to talk.
- All right, just a sec,
Heather.
109
00:06:04,333 --> 00:06:07,083
Your mother agrees with me
that you should get a job.
110
00:06:07,083 --> 00:06:10,333
- OK fine,
I'll get a stupid job.
- I'll get a stupid...
111
00:06:10,333 --> 00:06:13,500
Jobs don't grow on trees, you
know, especially for teenagers.
112
00:06:13,500 --> 00:06:15,333
When I first got
my job at the...
113
00:06:15,333 --> 00:06:17,375
Heather, can I get a job
where you work? Cool.
114
00:06:17,375 --> 00:06:19,333
I'll see you tomorrow.
Thank you.
115
00:06:20,792 --> 00:06:22,542
Not a big deal.
116
00:06:22,542 --> 00:06:24,333
Cannery jobs are harder to get.
117
00:06:24,333 --> 00:06:27,375
She can't pick up the phone
and call the canning people...
118
00:06:31,833 --> 00:06:35,542
Bridget, wake up! You don't want
to be late on your first day!
Come on!
119
00:06:35,542 --> 00:06:38,750
Why didn't my alarm clock wake
me? Where is my alarm clock?
120
00:06:38,750 --> 00:06:41,833
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
121
00:06:41,833 --> 00:06:45,125
Well, we're off to a great start
on your first day at work.
122
00:06:45,125 --> 00:06:48,333
I can't believe you want
to work at Strip Rags anyway.
123
00:06:48,333 --> 00:06:51,333
What's wrong with Strip Rags?
It's a clothing store.
124
00:06:51,333 --> 00:06:54,708
- It is a clothing store, right?
- It's more like
a trend factory.
125
00:06:54,708 --> 00:06:57,875
They brainwash kids
into thinking they're original,
126
00:06:57,875 --> 00:07:00,375
'cause they buy
the same clothes as everybody.
127
00:07:00,375 --> 00:07:03,208
Except I work there,
which means I get them first.
128
00:07:03,208 --> 00:07:06,042
I'll be original and Katie
Stratton will be copying me.
129
00:07:06,042 --> 00:07:09,125
- A noble goal.
- I'll get everything
at 40 percent off.
130
00:07:09,125 --> 00:07:12,583
Yeah, for the handiwork of
starving Third World children.
131
00:07:12,583 --> 00:07:15,333
Forty percent off!
132
00:07:15,333 --> 00:07:17,000
Bridget, I'll see you
in the car.
133
00:07:17,000 --> 00:07:19,292
It's official. I have
nothing to wear!
134
00:07:19,292 --> 00:07:22,333
You know, sometimes,
to save time in the mornings,
135
00:07:22,333 --> 00:07:25,208
I decide what to wear
and lay it out the night before.
136
00:07:25,208 --> 00:07:27,500
So this is what you look like
with a head start?
137
00:07:39,917 --> 00:07:41,917
Hennessy in on a Saturday?
138
00:07:41,917 --> 00:07:44,208
Hiding out at work,
can't stand the wife.
139
00:07:44,208 --> 00:07:46,958
I'm just picking up a file,
Tommy. Why are you here?
140
00:07:46,958 --> 00:07:50,333
I can't stand my wife.
I thought I made that clear.
141
00:07:50,333 --> 00:07:52,542
No, actually, I was
in the neighborhood.
142
00:07:52,542 --> 00:07:55,583
I just dropped my little girl
off at her first day of work.
143
00:07:55,583 --> 00:07:59,333
Boy, first you make the wife
work, then the daughter?
Gorgeous.
144
00:07:59,333 --> 00:08:01,333
I don't make them work.
145
00:08:01,333 --> 00:08:04,292
I couldn't look in the mirror
if I made my babies work.
146
00:08:04,292 --> 00:08:07,667
She's not a baby. She's a mature
woman who's very ready for this.
147
00:08:07,667 --> 00:08:10,125
How would you know?
You're a terrible father.
148
00:08:14,167 --> 00:08:15,625
Hello?
149
00:08:15,625 --> 00:08:17,625
Bridget, is everything OK?
150
00:08:17,625 --> 00:08:22,333
No. I have to fill out
this stupid form. What's
my social security number?
151
00:08:22,333 --> 00:08:24,333
I don't know that
off the top of my head.
152
00:08:24,333 --> 00:08:27,542
You're my father! OK, you know
what, just give me yours.
153
00:08:27,542 --> 00:08:29,333
It doesn't work that way.
154
00:08:29,333 --> 00:08:32,167
You never help me!
There's all these rules.
155
00:08:32,167 --> 00:08:35,333
They're making me read
this huge manual book, and...
156
00:08:35,333 --> 00:08:38,375
And I... God, I'm freaking out
here, and you don't even care!
157
00:08:38,375 --> 00:08:44,333
Whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
God, 20 minutes and she's
already in over her head.
158
00:08:44,333 --> 00:08:47,625
Say, between us girls,
why are you making Bridget work?
159
00:08:47,625 --> 00:08:51,333
Booze, broads, gambling? I know
people who can take care of the
problem.
160
00:08:51,333 --> 00:08:54,667
- They draw the line
at women and wives.
- There is no problem.
161
00:08:54,667 --> 00:08:58,167
We never had this conversation.
I'm going to write down
a phone number.
162
00:08:58,167 --> 00:09:00,583
- I don't want a phone number.
- What phone number?
163
00:09:00,583 --> 00:09:04,542
Tommy... I just think
Bridget should learn
some responsibility.
164
00:09:04,542 --> 00:09:07,375
Or you could stay away
from the crap tables
165
00:09:07,375 --> 00:09:09,458
and give her a chance
at childhood.
166
00:09:12,875 --> 00:09:14,500
Hello? Bridget?
167
00:09:14,500 --> 00:09:18,375
Don't worry, I'm going to bring
down your personal information
tonight.
168
00:09:18,375 --> 00:09:19,458
What?
169
00:09:20,833 --> 00:09:24,333
"Dob" means date of birth.
170
00:09:24,333 --> 00:09:27,333
Yes, it does. Yes, it does.
171
00:09:27,333 --> 00:09:29,042
Yes, it does.
172
00:09:34,667 --> 00:09:36,250
I'm starving.
173
00:09:36,250 --> 00:09:38,792
Just a quick hello,
then right to the food court.
174
00:09:38,792 --> 00:09:41,750
I made her stick out the whole
shift. You think she's OK?
175
00:09:41,750 --> 00:09:45,250
I think she's spoiled and her
looks are going to fade.
176
00:09:45,250 --> 00:09:48,333
Look, I'm just gonna tell her
it was a moral victory.
177
00:09:48,333 --> 00:09:50,625
Dad, can I go to
the exotic pet store?
178
00:09:50,625 --> 00:09:52,625
- What do you want to get?
- A book.
179
00:09:52,625 --> 00:09:57,250
- Sure, OK. You need some money?
- No, I'm exchanging something.
180
00:09:57,250 --> 00:10:01,500
I'm not going in. Strip Rags
represents everything I hate
about this society.
181
00:10:01,500 --> 00:10:03,958
It's a clothing store.
182
00:10:03,958 --> 00:10:07,333
How can you blame tops
and pants for the downfall
of civilization?
183
00:10:07,333 --> 00:10:10,167
Tactical error, Paul.
184
00:10:10,167 --> 00:10:13,333
Where do you want me to start?
The corporation? Advertisers?
185
00:10:13,333 --> 00:10:15,667
What they tell teenagers
about how they look?
186
00:10:15,667 --> 00:10:17,750
How they should look?
Body image!
187
00:10:17,750 --> 00:10:19,292
And she's so little.
188
00:10:21,333 --> 00:10:23,625
Come on, Kerry,
let's just go in the store.
189
00:10:23,625 --> 00:10:25,583
- No.
- Bridget's first day.
190
00:10:25,583 --> 00:10:27,708
She might be getting yelled at.
191
00:10:33,333 --> 00:10:37,208
- I don't see her.
- Um... Maybe she's in the back.
192
00:10:38,333 --> 00:10:41,750
Awful. Gross. Disgusting.
193
00:10:43,042 --> 00:10:46,292
- Cute.
- What was that?
194
00:10:47,333 --> 00:10:48,833
I said "puke."
195
00:10:52,875 --> 00:10:54,375
Where is she? Maybe she quit.
196
00:10:54,375 --> 00:10:57,333
Well, are you sure she doesn't
work at Baby Strip Rags?
197
00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:01,500
Oh, God.
198
00:11:02,417 --> 00:11:03,750
Jeez.
199
00:11:04,625 --> 00:11:06,333
Yes. Turn around.
200
00:11:06,333 --> 00:11:10,083
Get them in all three colors,
that plaid shirt goes with all
of them.
201
00:11:10,083 --> 00:11:12,833
Quick, go back and change,
it's getting hot in here.
202
00:11:15,000 --> 00:11:16,917
Oh, Mom, Dad, hey.
Just a second.
203
00:11:16,917 --> 00:11:20,792
Tyler, we need more hip-huggers,
stat. That means they need it
right away.
204
00:11:21,750 --> 00:11:23,875
I should use that
at the hospital.
205
00:11:23,875 --> 00:11:26,333
- How's it going?
- Great. I should've called.
206
00:11:26,333 --> 00:11:28,333
They want me to close.
Is that OK?
207
00:11:28,333 --> 00:11:32,750
Sure. We just stopped by.
I want to give you your
social security number and your
208
00:11:32,750 --> 00:11:37,333
- "D-O-B," date of birth, "Dob."
- Thank you, love you guys.
Now go.
209
00:11:37,333 --> 00:11:41,333
I hate it when people
don't put away clothes.
210
00:11:41,333 --> 00:11:43,500
I have no idea what that's like.
211
00:11:50,417 --> 00:11:52,667
- Hi, honey.
- Hey.
212
00:11:52,667 --> 00:11:55,958
You're all alone?
Bridget get home from work yet?
213
00:11:55,958 --> 00:11:59,667
Everybody's upstairs. She got
home exhausted, went straight
to bed.
214
00:11:59,667 --> 00:12:03,667
- We didn't have time to talk.
- She's worked every night
this week.
215
00:12:03,667 --> 00:12:07,167
- Without a complaint.
- Well, good for her.
216
00:12:07,167 --> 00:12:08,667
- Good for you.
- Yeah.
217
00:12:08,667 --> 00:12:11,375
This turned out
a lot better than you hoped.
218
00:12:11,375 --> 00:12:14,583
- But you know
what I didn't expect?
- What?
219
00:12:15,667 --> 00:12:16,958
I miss her.
220
00:12:16,958 --> 00:12:20,583
- Ohh...
- It's so quiet here lately,
221
00:12:20,583 --> 00:12:25,250
although, I thought I heard
mice running around Rory's room
a couple of times.
222
00:12:25,250 --> 00:12:28,292
- He says I'm imagining it.
- Oh, I'm sure you are.
223
00:12:28,292 --> 00:12:31,083
I'm gonna be a basket case
when she goes off to college.
224
00:12:31,083 --> 00:12:34,250
- You regret this lesson?
- No, not at all.
225
00:12:34,250 --> 00:12:37,667
I've done a really good thing
for my daughter. I really have.
226
00:12:37,667 --> 00:12:40,583
She's learned how to work,
how to organize herself,
227
00:12:40,583 --> 00:12:43,417
how to find the alarm clock.
228
00:12:43,417 --> 00:12:46,667
It's worth being a little
lonely if it means I'm being
a good dad.
229
00:12:47,958 --> 00:12:50,542
You have always been a good dad.
230
00:12:54,667 --> 00:12:56,583
Did you see something go by?
231
00:12:59,667 --> 00:13:01,667
What do you think?
This with this?
232
00:13:01,667 --> 00:13:04,083
A totally shallow trendoid
fashion statement.
233
00:13:04,083 --> 00:13:06,583
So it's a keeper?
234
00:13:06,583 --> 00:13:09,583
I can see Dad's really teaching
you the value of a dollar.
235
00:13:09,583 --> 00:13:11,917
Yeah, everything's
40 percent off.
236
00:13:11,917 --> 00:13:14,667
That also means
everything's 60 percent on.
237
00:13:16,125 --> 00:13:18,875
OK, math class over.
238
00:13:18,875 --> 00:13:22,125
Dad always says money can't
buy happiness. He is so wrong.
239
00:13:22,125 --> 00:13:24,625
You see all those clothes?
Happy!
240
00:13:24,625 --> 00:13:26,833
The car I'm gonna buy myself?
So happy!
241
00:13:26,833 --> 00:13:31,375
The cool loft I'm gonna
get the second I turn 18?
Out of control happy!
242
00:13:31,375 --> 00:13:34,333
Do you have any customers
besides yourself?
243
00:13:34,333 --> 00:13:38,667
- I waited on rich Brittany
today, with her father.
- Oh, I hate rich Brittany.
244
00:13:38,667 --> 00:13:41,750
He came to me, he's all,
"Miss, what would my girl
look good in?"
245
00:13:41,750 --> 00:13:44,917
So you put her
in something hideous, right?
246
00:13:44,917 --> 00:13:47,667
See, that shows me
you're not ready to work yet.
247
00:13:49,333 --> 00:13:50,833
I put her in capri pants.
248
00:13:51,667 --> 00:13:54,000
Oh, my God! With her ankles!
249
00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:55,708
- That's awesome.
- I know.
250
00:13:55,708 --> 00:13:57,125
I'm gonna go to bed.
251
00:13:57,125 --> 00:14:00,667
- Is that a shirt
from Strip Rags?
- No. Shut up.
252
00:14:02,000 --> 00:14:05,583
- That means you're
one of us now.
- Never.
253
00:14:05,583 --> 00:14:10,667
Join us. Join us, Kerry.
254
00:14:10,667 --> 00:14:12,083
Wha...? Whoa!
255
00:14:19,583 --> 00:14:21,750
- Hi, honey.
- Hey, Dad, what are you doing?
256
00:14:21,750 --> 00:14:24,417
Nothing. I thought
I'd see how you're doing.
257
00:14:24,417 --> 00:14:26,625
I could take my break,
buy you a coffee.
258
00:14:26,625 --> 00:14:28,542
OK. You drink coffee?
259
00:14:33,042 --> 00:14:36,750
So anyways, I'm like the fastest
now at using the anti-theft tag
tool thing.
260
00:14:36,750 --> 00:14:39,708
Back at the cannery,
we had this gizmo that could...
261
00:14:39,708 --> 00:14:42,667
Oh, God, Dad,
break's over, I gotta go.
262
00:14:42,667 --> 00:14:46,542
Too bad, I wanted to take
you to the bank to open up
a checking account.
263
00:14:46,542 --> 00:14:48,000
- Boring.
- Savings account.
264
00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:49,792
- Boring.
- Start a car fund.
265
00:14:49,792 --> 00:14:51,417
- You can do that?
- Yeah.
266
00:14:51,417 --> 00:14:54,208
I want a convertible.
I have the perfect hair for it.
267
00:14:54,208 --> 00:14:56,833
You do.
268
00:14:56,833 --> 00:15:00,083
- Well, I should
get back in there.
- This was really nice.
269
00:15:00,083 --> 00:15:02,167
Wait, Bridge,
I wanna say something.
270
00:15:04,292 --> 00:15:08,625
You surprised me.
And I'm proud of you.
271
00:15:08,625 --> 00:15:11,542
I was afraid you were
gonna crash and burn in there,
272
00:15:11,542 --> 00:15:14,375
but you really,
really surprised me.
273
00:15:15,500 --> 00:15:18,333
I surprised you?
274
00:15:18,333 --> 00:15:20,667
You actually thought
I would fail?
275
00:15:20,667 --> 00:15:25,667
I'm good at everything.
Jeez, Dad. Pay attention.
276
00:15:25,667 --> 00:15:28,708
I am a winner.
I win at everything.
277
00:15:28,708 --> 00:15:32,208
Where have you been
the last 16 years? God!
278
00:15:33,667 --> 00:15:35,667
I also said I was proud!
279
00:15:37,583 --> 00:15:39,125
Hey!
280
00:15:39,125 --> 00:15:42,000
OK. I only wear it when I'm
sleeping and when I'm drawing.
281
00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:45,208
Who cares? I got paid today!
Take a whiff. What's that?
282
00:15:45,208 --> 00:15:46,875
OK. The smell of
corporate America?
283
00:15:46,875 --> 00:15:49,208
Or what normal people
would call money.
284
00:15:49,208 --> 00:15:51,833
Money, money, money, money.
285
00:15:51,833 --> 00:15:55,208
I decided I would share
this moment with my dear
penniless sister.
286
00:15:56,667 --> 00:16:01,583
Oh, my God... There has
to be some sort of mistake.
287
00:16:01,583 --> 00:16:05,000
- Why? What's wrong.
- It's missing a whole
bunch of numbers.
288
00:16:05,000 --> 00:16:06,625
Let me see it.
289
00:16:07,500 --> 00:16:10,042
You made zero
dollars.
290
00:16:12,542 --> 00:16:15,292
How? OK, and no math lessons.
291
00:16:16,125 --> 00:16:18,542
OK, here's a reading lesson.
292
00:16:18,542 --> 00:16:23,583
This paper says you owe
the store $400 more than
you've earned.
293
00:16:24,833 --> 00:16:28,125
Oh, my God,
I cannot pay all this back.
294
00:16:28,125 --> 00:16:30,667
They'll take me to jail.
I'll be arrested.
295
00:16:30,667 --> 00:16:32,750
I'm gonna miss prom!
296
00:16:34,125 --> 00:16:37,375
And you just bought
the perfect dress.
297
00:16:37,375 --> 00:16:41,917
Dad is gonna be so disappointed
in me. Do you have any money
I can borrow?
298
00:16:43,667 --> 00:16:45,250
Yeah.
299
00:16:45,250 --> 00:16:48,833
Oh! Here's eleventy
million dollars.
300
00:16:48,833 --> 00:16:51,292
You are so unbelievably
mean right now.
301
00:16:51,292 --> 00:16:54,583
- Suck it up and tell Dad.
- I'm not telling Dad, OK. God.
302
00:16:54,583 --> 00:16:58,417
He will kill me. Just...
What about the credit card
he gave us?
303
00:16:58,417 --> 00:17:01,042
The one we're only to use
for emergencies?
304
00:17:01,042 --> 00:17:02,667
Excuse me, emergency!
305
00:17:04,708 --> 00:17:06,667
- Bridget!
- Not here.
306
00:17:06,667 --> 00:17:08,542
When's she getting
home from work?
307
00:17:08,542 --> 00:17:10,833
She's getting a ride,
she'll be home any minute.
308
00:17:10,833 --> 00:17:12,875
- She is up a creek!
- Whoa! Look,
309
00:17:12,875 --> 00:17:16,917
I don't know why you're upset,
but give her the benefit
of the doubt.
310
00:17:16,917 --> 00:17:21,208
She's been working real hard
and she's shown a real
turnaround lately.
311
00:17:21,208 --> 00:17:24,667
- Oh, really?
- Don't act surprised.
That upsets her.
312
00:17:24,667 --> 00:17:27,500
She's upset by surprises?
Well, that's funny.
313
00:17:27,500 --> 00:17:31,375
Cause I get all giddy when I
can't buy gas on my credit card
314
00:17:31,375 --> 00:17:35,292
because there is a
$500 charge to Strip Rags.
315
00:17:35,292 --> 00:17:38,167
That's freaky.
That's where Bridget works.
316
00:17:38,167 --> 00:17:42,000
- I swear to God, Paul!
- Wait, I can't believe
it's Bridget.
317
00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:44,667
She's being so responsible.
318
00:17:44,667 --> 00:17:48,083
Kerry, get down here!
319
00:17:49,042 --> 00:17:51,458
What?
320
00:17:51,458 --> 00:17:53,667
You know something?
Did Bridget do something?
321
00:17:53,667 --> 00:17:56,833
A good sister does not
tattle on her sister.
322
00:17:56,833 --> 00:17:58,875
You've been sworn to secrecy?
323
00:17:58,875 --> 00:18:02,083
A good sister does not
tattle on her sister.
324
00:18:02,083 --> 00:18:05,375
Did Bridget use the emergency
credit card to buy clothes?
325
00:18:05,375 --> 00:18:08,458
A good sister does not
tattle on her sister.
326
00:18:09,708 --> 00:18:12,250
Hey, everyone!
327
00:18:12,250 --> 00:18:15,667
- You told!
- I didn't tell them anything.
328
00:18:15,667 --> 00:18:18,833
Oh, yeah? Kerry acts out your
old love letters at parties.
329
00:18:18,833 --> 00:18:20,042
Bridget!
330
00:18:20,042 --> 00:18:22,708
Your father and
I have nothing to hide.
331
00:18:22,708 --> 00:18:26,375
Not those letters, Mom, the ones
in the box marked "taxes."
332
00:18:26,375 --> 00:18:29,667
- The ones...?!
- You are in big trouble.
333
00:18:31,042 --> 00:18:35,417
- Rory has a snake in his room.
- No, I don't. Not anymore.
334
00:18:38,042 --> 00:18:40,833
I am so disappointed in you.
335
00:18:40,833 --> 00:18:44,458
OK, I bought too many clothes, I
ran up a huge debt to the store,
336
00:18:44,458 --> 00:18:47,917
I forgot about taxes,
it would've taken me forever
to pay them back.
337
00:18:47,917 --> 00:18:50,667
Why didn't you come to us
if you got in trouble?
338
00:18:52,083 --> 00:18:55,125
Because you were proud of me
for, like, the first time ever,
339
00:18:55,125 --> 00:18:57,375
and I didn't want
to disappoint you!
340
00:18:57,375 --> 00:19:00,667
Well, I took care of the spy
and the zookeeper.
341
00:19:02,667 --> 00:19:04,958
How's it going here
with the embezzler?
342
00:19:07,667 --> 00:19:09,417
I'll let her explain.
343
00:19:10,417 --> 00:19:12,000
OK. I was stupid.
344
00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:15,000
I got in over my head,
and did something even stupider.
345
00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:18,625
I take full responsibility
for my stupid, stupid actions.
346
00:19:18,625 --> 00:19:21,917
- You do?
- I told you I was
a winner, I'm not.
347
00:19:21,917 --> 00:19:25,500
- I'm such a loser.
- No, Bridget,
you're not a loser.
348
00:19:25,500 --> 00:19:27,625
- You are so not a loser.
- Yes, I am.
349
00:19:27,625 --> 00:19:31,625
No, you're not. I watched you
work. You are a great salesgirl.
350
00:19:31,625 --> 00:19:33,792
Sales associate.
351
00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:39,542
Sorry, that's my mistake.
352
00:19:39,542 --> 00:19:42,667
I said I was disappointed in
you, but that doesn't erase
353
00:19:42,667 --> 00:19:45,958
- that I said
I was proud of you.
- Still?
354
00:19:45,958 --> 00:19:47,125
Still.
355
00:19:47,125 --> 00:19:49,125
Sweetie, you showed
us something.
356
00:19:49,125 --> 00:19:52,167
You started a new job,
you were never late,
357
00:19:52,167 --> 00:19:54,667
your schoolwork did not suffer.
358
00:19:54,667 --> 00:19:58,333
Although, admittedly,
that would be hard to measure.
359
00:19:58,333 --> 00:20:03,042
But, honey, you showed up and
that was very grown-up of you.
360
00:20:03,042 --> 00:20:04,625
Thank you.
361
00:20:04,625 --> 00:20:08,583
And yet you still didn't
learn the value of a dollar.
362
00:20:08,583 --> 00:20:12,417
And that kinda was
the point, wasn't it?
363
00:20:12,417 --> 00:20:14,542
- I owe so much money.
- To us now.
364
00:20:14,542 --> 00:20:18,667
- Which you can pay back slowly.
- Can I keep my emergency
credit card?
365
00:20:18,667 --> 00:20:20,458
Oh, Bridgie...
366
00:20:21,417 --> 00:20:24,125
Hand it over.
367
00:20:24,125 --> 00:20:26,792
Oh, honey, I know this
is very hard for you.
368
00:20:26,792 --> 00:20:32,583
It sure is. I guess
this experience has been
punishment enough, right?
369
00:20:32,583 --> 00:20:35,958
I mean, God, I'm gonna be
in that store surrounded
by great clothes
370
00:20:35,958 --> 00:20:40,208
that look great on me and
customers are gonna come in
and look horrible on them,
371
00:20:40,208 --> 00:20:44,625
and they get to buy it, but,
you know, I guess I could just
try the stuff on
372
00:20:44,625 --> 00:20:48,708
and stare in the mirror at
myself, you know, and then
go home and wear it.
373
00:20:48,708 --> 00:20:53,125
It's just so hard with all
the clothes, so, I don't know...
374
00:21:00,125 --> 00:21:02,333
- Finished.
- Thanks, Beach.
375
00:21:02,333 --> 00:21:04,833
You sliced five more
bucks off your debt.
376
00:21:04,833 --> 00:21:07,958
What? Five bucks? God,
you could eat off that floor.
377
00:21:07,958 --> 00:21:10,167
Speaking of eating,
do the kitchen floor.
378
00:21:15,792 --> 00:21:17,958
All right! You found
one of them!
379
00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:22,125
And it's the mom!
31818
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