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1
00:00:03,150 --> 00:00:06,950
This programme contains
some strong language.
2
00:00:06,950 --> 00:00:11,350
All the crew inside locked in.
Got the cameraman 'ere.
3
00:00:11,350 --> 00:00:14,150
And we're just saying, yeah,
don't forget,
4
00:00:14,150 --> 00:00:17,350
Kurupt FM website coming very soon!
5
00:00:17,350 --> 00:00:20,270
Every business these days
needs a website.
6
00:00:20,270 --> 00:00:23,790
Yeah, we're always expanding,
getting bigger and bigger every day.
7
00:00:23,790 --> 00:00:28,230
We're like Japan.
Yeah, next global superpower. So...
8
00:00:28,230 --> 00:00:29,870
Ain't they got a website as well?
9
00:00:29,870 --> 00:00:33,230
Probably what started them
off in the first place.
10
00:00:33,230 --> 00:00:35,110
Bigging up Lambrini Bob in Isleworth,
11
00:00:35,110 --> 00:00:38,990
yeah, requesting that
AmA (Dub) I sees ya!
12
00:00:38,990 --> 00:00:42,510
Going global is a big opportunity
for us, actually,
13
00:00:42,510 --> 00:00:44,710
cos right now we're just UK-based.
14
00:00:44,710 --> 00:00:47,150
Getting more and more fans, like.
15
00:00:47,150 --> 00:00:49,430
Obviously, we've got enough,
probably,
16
00:00:49,430 --> 00:00:52,750
but a website will take us to the
next level.
17
00:00:52,750 --> 00:00:55,350
Trust me, reaching further!
18
00:00:55,350 --> 00:00:57,310
Hussa! Hussa!
19
00:00:57,310 --> 00:00:59,910
Available from all good
internet outlets.
20
00:01:04,630 --> 00:01:06,990
Come on,
we're going to be late for school.
21
00:01:06,990 --> 00:01:10,910
If anyone tries to mug you off,
you call Daddy, all right?
22
00:01:10,910 --> 00:01:13,510
Big Daddy Grindah. All right,
sweet.
23
00:01:13,510 --> 00:01:14,710
Any little mug tries it,
24
00:01:14,710 --> 00:01:16,910
don't care what age they are,
they'll get crushed.
25
00:01:16,910 --> 00:01:19,430
Wait, wait, wait. No, no.
26
00:01:19,430 --> 00:01:22,790
It's the diagonal strap there.
Let's wait for it.
27
00:01:22,790 --> 00:01:24,550
See you later.
28
00:01:24,550 --> 00:01:29,670
See you at five. Half three. Half
three? You lot got it well easy!
29
00:01:29,670 --> 00:01:32,430
Completely different to my day.
30
00:01:33,830 --> 00:01:35,350
HE GRUNTS
31
00:01:37,230 --> 00:01:41,070
Roche? Rochelle? Mmm? Roche? Mmm?
32
00:01:41,070 --> 00:01:43,590
The washing machine's fucked.
33
00:01:43,590 --> 00:01:45,070
TV IS ON
34
00:01:46,350 --> 00:01:48,870
Well, maybe it's time you tried
fixing it, then.
35
00:01:48,870 --> 00:01:51,070
Perhaps you could show
Craig as well.
36
00:01:51,070 --> 00:01:53,670
It would be good if he had some
basic skills beyond eating
37
00:01:53,670 --> 00:01:56,750
and playing World War Duty.
Call Of Duty.
38
00:01:56,750 --> 00:02:00,830
Right, cool, I've gotta bounce. I've
got a radio meeting about a website.
39
00:02:00,830 --> 00:02:03,070
Craig David, laterz.
40
00:02:03,070 --> 00:02:04,390
See you later. Mmmwah!
41
00:02:04,390 --> 00:02:06,710
All right, I'm leaving it with you.
Get it sorted.
42
00:02:06,710 --> 00:02:07,990
I'll look at it tonight.
43
00:02:07,990 --> 00:02:11,350
I've chucked some towels down to soak
up the water as well. What water?
44
00:02:11,350 --> 00:02:13,430
Catch you on the flip side, yeah?
45
00:02:13,430 --> 00:02:15,030
Kevin, what water?
46
00:02:16,830 --> 00:02:20,950
MUSIC POUNDS
47
00:02:20,950 --> 00:02:22,550
HE TOOTS HORN
48
00:02:25,870 --> 00:02:28,550
Mate, the internet is going to
be big, right?
49
00:02:28,550 --> 00:02:32,910
Grindah only started believing in
the internet cos of all the pornos.
50
00:02:32,910 --> 00:02:36,590
I thought it's got to be good
if it's got that! Yeah.
51
00:02:36,590 --> 00:02:39,710
I was saying to Decoy we might
have to get a bigger studio, innit?
52
00:02:39,710 --> 00:02:42,990
Yeah, to deal with all the e-mails
and that. Yeah, exactly.
53
00:02:42,990 --> 00:02:44,350
Probably get Wi-Fi.
54
00:02:46,350 --> 00:02:48,670
Here? Yeah. All right, cool.
55
00:02:48,670 --> 00:02:51,350
MODEM SCREECHES
56
00:02:52,830 --> 00:02:57,910
It's mad, actually, cos we bought
the website but it comes blank.
57
00:02:57,910 --> 00:03:02,390
Yeah, you got to build it yourself,
like, sort of like IKEA. Yeah.
58
00:03:02,390 --> 00:03:04,710
Listen, boys, once I get this up
and running
59
00:03:04,710 --> 00:03:07,710
you'll be bigger than
Two Girls And One Bloody Bucket.
60
00:03:07,710 --> 00:03:09,430
Have you seen that? It's disgusting.
61
00:03:09,430 --> 00:03:12,150
I showed it to Aldona,
she said she's going to leave me.
62
00:03:12,150 --> 00:03:15,390
Serious, she's leaving you?
No, mate, she is here illegally.
63
00:03:15,390 --> 00:03:17,550
I do all her paperwork and that.
64
00:03:17,550 --> 00:03:20,030
PHONE RINGS
65
00:03:20,030 --> 00:03:22,790
Hello, Gary, mate.
66
00:03:22,790 --> 00:03:24,430
Yeah, still DJ-ing.
67
00:03:25,870 --> 00:03:28,270
Website's not even up, bookings
are rolling in.
68
00:03:28,270 --> 00:03:29,950
Wait there one second, mate.
69
00:03:31,510 --> 00:03:33,670
You know Gary and Lisa, yeah?
70
00:03:33,670 --> 00:03:37,390
They are having a little wedding
party and their DJ dropped out. Yeah?
71
00:03:37,390 --> 00:03:41,230
Down the social club a couple
of hours? Nah! We don't do weddings!
72
00:03:43,350 --> 00:03:47,550
It's £200, though. £200? Yeah.
So that's...
73
00:03:48,870 --> 00:03:50,830
Between us that'll be...
74
00:03:50,830 --> 00:03:53,110
That'll be all right.
75
00:03:53,110 --> 00:03:54,510
One thing, though, obviously,
76
00:03:54,510 --> 00:03:57,550
cos it's a wedding
they don't want an MC, just a DJ.
77
00:03:57,550 --> 00:03:59,550
Well, obviously not, then,
if there is no MC.
78
00:04:00,670 --> 00:04:04,030
Yeah, the DJ/MC dynamic is pretty
unique, actually.
79
00:04:04,030 --> 00:04:06,870
It's like some Derren Brown
sort of shit.
80
00:04:06,870 --> 00:04:09,350
Grindah actually knows what I'm
going to play
81
00:04:09,350 --> 00:04:11,190
even before I play it sometimes.
82
00:04:11,190 --> 00:04:14,470
Yeah, it's a
bit of a sixth sense of mine, innit?
83
00:04:14,470 --> 00:04:18,310
Also, I pick out our set as well,
so that helps a bit.
84
00:04:18,310 --> 00:04:23,590
Yeah. But we both bring something
to the table, though. Turntable!
85
00:04:23,590 --> 00:04:25,670
What about your music?
86
00:04:25,670 --> 00:04:28,990
Are you going to stream now via
the internet and that?
87
00:04:28,990 --> 00:04:33,590
Mate, we're not a...internet radio
station. We're very much FM based.
88
00:04:33,590 --> 00:04:37,030
We're just luring them in. We're
going global, but you will
89
00:04:37,030 --> 00:04:41,030
very much need to be in Brentford to
be able to catch Kurupt FM.
90
00:04:41,030 --> 00:04:46,750
We are like a global...local
pirate radio station sort of thing.
91
00:04:46,750 --> 00:04:49,430
We're one of the first, actually.
92
00:04:49,430 --> 00:04:51,910
Radio will never be
defeated by the internet
93
00:04:51,910 --> 00:04:56,070
cos radio will never die, yeah? You
see in apocalypse films, yeah?
94
00:04:56,070 --> 00:04:59,510
At the end of it they are all running
around. There's no internet working.
95
00:04:59,510 --> 00:05:01,750
What are they doing?
They are checking the radio.
96
00:05:01,750 --> 00:05:04,990
What are they searching for?
Messages.
97
00:05:04,990 --> 00:05:08,790
What will be on in the apocalypse?
Kurupt FM.
98
00:05:08,790 --> 00:05:12,030
Yeah, so your proxy server,
straightaway that's 50 quid.
99
00:05:12,030 --> 00:05:14,950
You're going to need the Intel
inside and the Intel outside.
100
00:05:16,590 --> 00:05:19,510
I can do it for you for around 170.
101
00:05:20,790 --> 00:05:21,830
We'll need Intel.
102
00:05:22,910 --> 00:05:25,790
Get a bit of Pentium in there.
Right.
103
00:05:25,790 --> 00:05:30,070
Slim a bit off and we'll
call it quits. OK, 165. Deal.
104
00:05:37,950 --> 00:05:39,030
That's nice.
105
00:05:40,510 --> 00:05:42,990
There's actually, like, a 98p shop
up the road,
106
00:05:42,990 --> 00:05:47,150
but I just think here you get a
better overall quality of product.
107
00:05:48,270 --> 00:05:50,910
How do you find Angel
going to school?
108
00:05:50,910 --> 00:05:53,590
She's still struggling a little bit.
109
00:05:53,590 --> 00:05:55,030
No, I'm not struggling,
110
00:05:55,030 --> 00:05:57,870
I just think that it's unfair to
force people to do stuff.
111
00:05:57,870 --> 00:06:00,030
Like, there should be an alternative.
112
00:06:00,030 --> 00:06:02,230
You know, like,
grown-ups have the dole,
113
00:06:02,230 --> 00:06:05,470
so why isn't there something they get
paid for instead of going to school?
114
00:06:05,470 --> 00:06:07,990
She does need her own mates, though.
115
00:06:07,990 --> 00:06:11,110
She can't just hang around with us
her whole life, know what I mean?
116
00:06:11,110 --> 00:06:12,350
Mm.
117
00:06:12,350 --> 00:06:15,230
My mum is still my best friend, like.
118
00:06:15,230 --> 00:06:18,390
Girls her age are all just, like,
little two-faced bitches, anyway.
119
00:06:18,390 --> 00:06:20,190
I told her to stay away from them.
120
00:06:20,190 --> 00:06:22,110
So what is good about Angel
being at school?
121
00:06:22,110 --> 00:06:26,070
It means I've got more time to
organise the house or whatever.
122
00:06:26,070 --> 00:06:28,430
There's just
so many different boxes, like.
123
00:06:28,430 --> 00:06:30,870
Can you just imagine how tidy
the house could be?
124
00:06:32,750 --> 00:06:36,190
This one's got like a glittery
textured top as well,
125
00:06:36,190 --> 00:06:38,350
so that's just a bit more
elegant sort of style.
126
00:06:38,350 --> 00:06:40,310
And these ones are amazing value
127
00:06:40,310 --> 00:06:42,990
cos you've got all those
little ones in there.
128
00:06:42,990 --> 00:06:46,670
Just get a few more of these. They'll
be good for Grindah's lunches.
129
00:06:47,990 --> 00:06:49,670
All right, boys?
130
00:06:51,230 --> 00:06:53,670
How are we going to get
that money to pay Chabud?
131
00:06:53,670 --> 00:06:57,510
Do you reckon we'll do
that wedding later, bruv?
132
00:06:57,510 --> 00:06:59,590
Nah, I already said
we ain't doing it.
133
00:07:02,950 --> 00:07:05,430
We're just going to pick up Angel.
134
00:07:08,710 --> 00:07:10,870
Right, quick in-and-out job,
all right?
135
00:07:12,870 --> 00:07:16,190
Daddy's got to get on one, right?
I can't stay for long.
136
00:07:16,190 --> 00:07:20,150
Got the whole of the internet to
sort out. Why is the door not...?
137
00:07:20,150 --> 00:07:22,790
Why is my leather bean bag
over there?
138
00:07:22,790 --> 00:07:25,110
I was just having a sort-out
while the house was quiet.
139
00:07:25,110 --> 00:07:28,190
I don't like it like this!
Hello, baby! Are you all right?
140
00:07:28,190 --> 00:07:31,030
Are you exhausted? You look so tired.
141
00:07:31,030 --> 00:07:34,350
What are you doing to her?
I'm checking for bruises.
142
00:07:34,350 --> 00:07:36,390
(Such a freak.)
143
00:07:36,390 --> 00:07:39,270
See you, like, in a bit.
Does it hurt if I do that?
144
00:07:39,270 --> 00:07:40,550
No.
145
00:07:40,550 --> 00:07:42,510
No? OK.
146
00:07:42,510 --> 00:07:45,030
Do you find it hard
caring for a family?
147
00:07:45,030 --> 00:07:47,030
It's hard
but it's extremely rewarding
148
00:07:47,030 --> 00:07:49,750
when you see the smile on Craig's
face when the heating is on,
149
00:07:49,750 --> 00:07:51,910
the electricity is pumping
through the house.
150
00:07:51,910 --> 00:07:56,350
The computer's on, like.
That's a sense of achievement.
151
00:07:56,350 --> 00:07:58,550
I haven't actually paid
the bills yet,
152
00:07:58,550 --> 00:08:01,510
but when I do,
I will feel definitely achieved.
153
00:08:01,510 --> 00:08:04,670
Craigy G, what's going on, man?
GUNFIRE ON COMPUTER GAME
154
00:08:06,990 --> 00:08:10,270
Do you want to help me
do that washing machine?
155
00:08:10,270 --> 00:08:13,230
Nah, Mum said you had to
buy a new one.
156
00:08:13,230 --> 00:08:14,630
I'm busy.
157
00:08:14,630 --> 00:08:16,270
Is it?
158
00:08:16,270 --> 00:08:17,670
A'ight.
159
00:08:17,670 --> 00:08:19,670
Probably got homework to do
or something.
160
00:08:22,270 --> 00:08:26,070
It just would have been nice to have
a little...father...guardian...
161
00:08:26,070 --> 00:08:28,830
son moment...
162
00:08:32,190 --> 00:08:35,190
Easy, boys. Chabsy! What's Gucci?
Come in.
163
00:08:35,190 --> 00:08:39,310
Good as gold, sailor.
Ready for the big unveiling, yeah?
164
00:08:39,310 --> 00:08:42,910
So, what I've done, I've made some
changes to the original plans
165
00:08:42,910 --> 00:08:44,110
that you guys gave me.
166
00:08:44,110 --> 00:08:47,550
Just using my own internet
expertise. Good, yeah.
167
00:08:47,550 --> 00:08:50,430
Everybody knows that sex sells,
yeah?
168
00:08:50,430 --> 00:08:52,510
Trust me,
I've bought it many times myself.
169
00:08:52,510 --> 00:08:54,870
What have we got to do? You don't
have to do anything.
170
00:08:54,870 --> 00:08:56,310
Let me just show you, OK?
171
00:08:56,310 --> 00:09:00,750
I basically took some snaps of my
wife, Aldona, who is stunning, yeah?
172
00:09:00,750 --> 00:09:02,430
And I just basically, you know,
173
00:09:02,430 --> 00:09:05,350
put her on there and just maybe sex
it up a little bit, you know?
174
00:09:05,350 --> 00:09:07,870
Yeah, that's right. Is that Aldona?
That's her, yeah.
175
00:09:07,870 --> 00:09:09,670
You can see her Wild Bean cafe.
176
00:09:09,670 --> 00:09:12,230
No, I mean, technically,
it's not her vagina.
177
00:09:12,230 --> 00:09:14,950
Hers wasn't the best maintained,
so I found another one,
178
00:09:14,950 --> 00:09:18,510
cut and pasted it on. But we do need
to talk about the payment.
179
00:09:18,510 --> 00:09:20,750
Don't worry about the
payment, we're sorting it.
180
00:09:20,750 --> 00:09:22,870
We've got one of our best
boys on the case, innit?
181
00:09:22,870 --> 00:09:25,830
Trust me, on some Oceans 11 type
espionage shit.
182
00:09:25,830 --> 00:09:29,710
Down the JC right now, telling him
that his nan's flat's flooded, like.
183
00:09:31,670 --> 00:09:34,030
You can get this thing called
a crisis loan, yeah?
184
00:09:34,030 --> 00:09:37,750
If you look like you're having
a crisis, basically.
185
00:09:37,750 --> 00:09:40,430
Normally I don't bother
because they ask me questions
186
00:09:40,430 --> 00:09:41,910
and it's quite intense.
187
00:09:41,910 --> 00:09:44,190
I just do the standard
little diary thing,
188
00:09:44,190 --> 00:09:46,550
where you just tell them
what you've been doing.
189
00:09:46,550 --> 00:09:50,310
And then they just give you free
money, basically.
190
00:09:50,310 --> 00:09:52,510
I got a free laptop as well from...
191
00:09:52,510 --> 00:09:55,270
Cos I gave myself
dyslexia from smoking skunk.
192
00:09:58,990 --> 00:10:02,790
Hello. My name is Steven Green.
I've had a crisis.
193
00:10:02,790 --> 00:10:04,790
INAUDIBLE REPLY
194
00:10:06,270 --> 00:10:12,990
So...why do you need the crisis
loan? Eh? Just, the pipe burst.
195
00:10:12,990 --> 00:10:18,550
And I was in there as well.
Cos...that's why I wet myself.
196
00:10:18,550 --> 00:10:20,990
Not with the...trousers,
with the water...
197
00:10:22,310 --> 00:10:24,030
Mr Green... Yeah?
198
00:10:24,030 --> 00:10:27,710
We can only give out these loans to
people who have a genuine emergency.
199
00:10:27,710 --> 00:10:32,670
People who have gone through an
ordeal. Understand? Yeah... Yeah.
200
00:10:32,670 --> 00:10:34,950
Um...
201
00:10:34,950 --> 00:10:36,950
Cos...
202
00:10:36,950 --> 00:10:38,310
I've done that as well.
203
00:10:38,310 --> 00:10:40,990
Mm-hm? I've got more crisises...
204
00:10:40,990 --> 00:10:43,790
Cos it's so cold,
I can't really think.
205
00:10:43,790 --> 00:10:47,270
My brain is a little bit, like...
Yes, I understand.
206
00:10:47,270 --> 00:10:50,390
'Kurupt FM does cost
a lot of money to run,'
207
00:10:50,390 --> 00:10:54,390
cos everyone here,
bar Grindah, has to pay subs.
208
00:10:54,390 --> 00:10:58,070
Cos what it is, it's promotion for
yourselves. Promotion for yourself.
209
00:10:58,070 --> 00:11:00,390
You pay me a sub to be able to
promote yourself.
210
00:11:00,390 --> 00:11:02,150
I've got a tab, though.
211
00:11:02,150 --> 00:11:06,070
I'm heavily in debt to these lot but
it's worth it in the end.
212
00:11:06,070 --> 00:11:10,390
But we let him sleep on our floor,
so... Saves money on rent as well.
213
00:11:10,390 --> 00:11:13,870
But it is my nan's flat originally.
Doesn't matter, Steve, she's dead.
214
00:11:13,870 --> 00:11:17,070
Forget about her. She's not dead,
she's moved out. Move on.
215
00:11:17,070 --> 00:11:18,830
Whatever, she's dead to us.
216
00:11:20,990 --> 00:11:22,510
They were like, just...
217
00:11:22,510 --> 00:11:27,430
"Give me all your money, give
me all your stuff." Literally...
218
00:11:27,430 --> 00:11:30,870
Then I got home and the pipes were
burst as well, so...
219
00:11:30,870 --> 00:11:32,150
And that is a...?
220
00:11:33,710 --> 00:11:35,350
Yeah...
221
00:11:35,350 --> 00:11:37,270
that's...a gun...
222
00:11:37,270 --> 00:11:38,590
Right.
223
00:11:38,590 --> 00:11:40,430
Well...
224
00:11:40,430 --> 00:11:42,150
Can I get the money now?
225
00:11:42,150 --> 00:11:45,310
I assume you'll be happy to tell
this story to the authorities.
226
00:11:47,670 --> 00:11:49,910
Yeah... What authorities?
227
00:11:49,910 --> 00:11:51,590
I'm talking about the police.
228
00:11:53,870 --> 00:11:55,430
Yeah? Uh-huh.
229
00:11:59,750 --> 00:12:01,110
Er...
230
00:12:01,110 --> 00:12:02,510
I think I heard...
231
00:12:02,510 --> 00:12:04,870
I'll just chat to the person
in reception...
232
00:12:04,870 --> 00:12:07,750
I can even ring them off my phone
cos then you lot don't have...
233
00:12:07,750 --> 00:12:09,030
RUNNING FOOTSTEPS
234
00:12:13,190 --> 00:12:17,070
Going global is a...
it's an art form, innit?
235
00:12:17,070 --> 00:12:19,630
So we're just starting
the global push now.
236
00:12:19,630 --> 00:12:22,430
I don't know how Roche will take
to that, actually.
237
00:12:22,430 --> 00:12:25,150
The stress levels are probably
going to rocket.
238
00:12:25,150 --> 00:12:27,750
But once I get the money in,
it'll be fine.
239
00:12:27,750 --> 00:12:30,470
Once we got the millions, know what
I mean? No sweat.
240
00:12:30,470 --> 00:12:32,430
Roche? Yeah?
241
00:12:32,430 --> 00:12:33,590
There you go, I've done it.
242
00:12:34,830 --> 00:12:39,030
What about them screws on the floor?
Don't need screws! No more nails!
243
00:12:39,030 --> 00:12:41,310
You've glued it?!
244
00:12:41,310 --> 00:12:44,270
See, cos I was hoping we could keep
the open-close mechanism with
245
00:12:44,270 --> 00:12:46,510
the door, cos it was
one of the things I liked about it.
246
00:12:46,510 --> 00:12:49,390
All still fully functional as well,
so...
247
00:12:50,710 --> 00:12:52,110
Well...
248
00:12:54,030 --> 00:12:55,950
Yeah...
249
00:12:55,950 --> 00:12:57,110
Definitely gone.
250
00:12:58,430 --> 00:13:01,630
Well, you're looking at a new
door anyway. £90.
251
00:13:03,390 --> 00:13:05,910
I think there's a screwdriver
under there, actually.
252
00:13:05,910 --> 00:13:08,110
SHE SIGHS
£90, yeah? Yeah!
253
00:13:08,110 --> 00:13:10,110
These things all cost money!
254
00:13:10,110 --> 00:13:12,230
The washing powder costs money!
255
00:13:12,230 --> 00:13:15,110
Your favourite fucking
super snuggly fabric softener,
256
00:13:15,110 --> 00:13:16,510
that costs money as well!
257
00:13:16,510 --> 00:13:19,230
Yeah, but I need that, Roche,
otherwise I get itchy bollocks.
258
00:13:19,230 --> 00:13:22,670
Get it sorted! I don't care how you
do it, just fucking do it!
259
00:13:25,390 --> 00:13:28,470
What do I love about Kevin?
Do you know what?
260
00:13:28,470 --> 00:13:32,070
I think it is just his simplicity.
And he's really funny.
261
00:13:32,070 --> 00:13:34,870
You know? Like, from time to time...
262
00:13:34,870 --> 00:13:36,670
VEHICLE PULLS UP
263
00:13:36,670 --> 00:13:38,470
That's a big one.
264
00:13:38,470 --> 00:13:43,390
Kevin could do so many things
if he just put his mind to it.
265
00:13:43,390 --> 00:13:46,190
If he wasn't twatting about
with Grindah.
266
00:13:47,990 --> 00:13:49,950
Which I doubt is his real name.
267
00:13:51,150 --> 00:13:52,950
'Clash of egos, I reckon.'
268
00:13:52,950 --> 00:13:55,550
He's quite powerful
and she's quite powerful,
269
00:13:55,550 --> 00:13:57,830
so together...
270
00:13:57,830 --> 00:13:59,510
Like you seen on them documentaries,
271
00:13:59,510 --> 00:14:03,310
when the two hippos are fighting to
be the leader of the land?
272
00:14:03,310 --> 00:14:06,430
It's a bit like that
but it's not physical.
273
00:14:06,430 --> 00:14:08,630
You lot paying us for this or...?
274
00:14:08,630 --> 00:14:10,030
No, sorry.
275
00:14:14,030 --> 00:14:16,630
'Hello?' Hello, Gary, mate -
it's Beats here. 'Hiya.'
276
00:14:16,630 --> 00:14:18,590
Er, is the wedding still on?
277
00:14:22,190 --> 00:14:26,830
Call Steves, see if he's got
the money.
278
00:14:26,830 --> 00:14:28,710
What's he saying?
279
00:14:28,710 --> 00:14:30,590
It's ringing.
280
00:14:33,350 --> 00:14:35,830
Steves, where... Are you back yet?
281
00:14:35,830 --> 00:14:37,590
No, I can't come back, bruv.
I'm hiding.
282
00:14:37,590 --> 00:14:39,390
I seem to have robbed a cardigan.
What?
283
00:14:39,390 --> 00:14:42,310
Cardigan, I've robbed a cardigan.
Right. From the Jobcentre.
284
00:14:42,310 --> 00:14:44,310
He's saying he's got...
I robbed a cardigan.
285
00:14:44,310 --> 00:14:46,750
They wouldn't give me money.
He's robbed a cardigan.
286
00:14:46,750 --> 00:14:49,750
Feds are after me, bruv. Fucking...
And he's hiding from the police.
287
00:14:49,750 --> 00:14:53,190
Why is the police after him? I don't
think he's got the money, either.
288
00:14:53,190 --> 00:14:57,550
Why are the police after you?
Stay hidden!
289
00:14:57,550 --> 00:15:00,390
No, he's cut. I knew going global
would be intense.
290
00:15:02,630 --> 00:15:04,670
We're fucked.
291
00:15:06,470 --> 00:15:08,630
We might have to do the wedding.
292
00:15:08,630 --> 00:15:11,870
Is it? D'you know what - fuck it,
call Gaz, we're doing the wedding.
293
00:15:11,870 --> 00:15:15,150
Er, no... No, I insist, call him.
I've changed my mind, do it.
294
00:15:15,150 --> 00:15:17,750
But I can't cos...earlier I had a
text from Roche.
295
00:15:17,750 --> 00:15:19,870
What do you mean? I didn't hear
anything.
296
00:15:19,870 --> 00:15:22,390
No, before Steve
called, she texted me.
297
00:15:22,390 --> 00:15:24,310
What's the problem?
298
00:15:24,310 --> 00:15:26,830
I've got to baby-sit Craig.
299
00:15:26,830 --> 00:15:30,350
You've got to baby-sit Craig?
But he doesn't even move.
300
00:15:30,350 --> 00:15:33,350
Yeah, cos of his stomach
disorder, Roche wants me to...
301
00:15:33,350 --> 00:15:35,310
Do you know what, yeah?
302
00:15:35,310 --> 00:15:38,310
Don't worry, bruv, cos I'll just
get Steves or Decoy or
303
00:15:38,310 --> 00:15:41,830
someone else to do it, like,
if you can't be a man, like.
304
00:15:41,830 --> 00:15:44,230
But what about the MC/DJ dynamic?
305
00:15:44,230 --> 00:15:46,990
Too late, mate. Boys, boys, boys,
boys, boys.
306
00:15:46,990 --> 00:15:50,270
I think there might be another way.
Yeah? Yeah.
307
00:15:50,270 --> 00:15:52,350
Yeah, let's definitely do
the other way, then.
308
00:15:52,350 --> 00:15:54,470
What? No, what is the other way?
309
00:15:54,470 --> 00:15:59,550
OK, check it out, yeah - a special
Chabuddy G Kurupt FM radio show.
310
00:16:01,910 --> 00:16:03,990
A DJ set? Yeah.
311
00:16:03,990 --> 00:16:06,150
Oh, for f... Cos like, think about
it, yeah, look.
312
00:16:06,150 --> 00:16:09,670
I've got the vinyls, yeah,
I've got the Terry Wogan sex appeal,
313
00:16:09,670 --> 00:16:11,510
I'm in my prime, yeah?
314
00:16:11,510 --> 00:16:13,350
OK, give me
a couple of hours on Kurupt FM
315
00:16:13,350 --> 00:16:16,710
and I will completely waive
the website fee for you guys.
316
00:16:16,710 --> 00:16:20,230
Sounds like a good idea to me.
It sounds shit.
317
00:16:20,230 --> 00:16:23,150
You don't want to be associated with
weddings and that, do you?
318
00:16:23,150 --> 00:16:24,990
Come on. No. You know, exactly.
319
00:16:27,710 --> 00:16:30,590
Do you know what I mean, like, it's
not what I got in the game and that,
320
00:16:30,590 --> 00:16:33,590
like, to give away sets to some
John, like, do you know what I mean?
321
00:16:33,590 --> 00:16:36,230
You're back? What? Come and look
what I've done to the kitchen.
322
00:16:36,230 --> 00:16:38,710
No, I'll look later.
What's wrong with him?
323
00:16:38,710 --> 00:16:41,550
Don't worry about him, he's just
worried about radio, innit?
324
00:16:41,550 --> 00:16:43,310
Do you want a cup of tea
or anything?
325
00:16:43,310 --> 00:16:46,790
Er, yeah, the tea bags are in that,
um, that box by the kettle.
326
00:16:46,790 --> 00:16:48,550
New boxes, yeah?
327
00:16:48,550 --> 00:16:52,230
Yeah, like, basically, today I've
just been putting all the different
328
00:16:52,230 --> 00:16:55,030
foods into, like, these boxes,
and, like, the food colour matches
329
00:16:55,030 --> 00:16:57,990
the lid colour so it's just like a
little thing I just thought I'd do.
330
00:16:57,990 --> 00:17:02,030
Yeah. Just spruce the house up a bit.
Nice. So is there milk in...
331
00:17:02,030 --> 00:17:04,670
Yeah, that's white for milk
in there. Oh, right. Yeah.
332
00:17:06,470 --> 00:17:09,390
But no milk for me,
if that's all right. No?
333
00:17:09,390 --> 00:17:13,710
Decoy knows how I like it.
Black. Well, without milk.
334
00:17:18,110 --> 00:17:19,870
MUSIC PLAYS
335
00:17:19,870 --> 00:17:20,910
Good...
336
00:17:23,230 --> 00:17:28,750
Good evening, Hounslow, and welcome
to midnight music masala with me,
337
00:17:28,750 --> 00:17:30,790
your host, DJ Vinyl Destination.
338
00:17:34,030 --> 00:17:36,230
And how are you?
339
00:17:36,230 --> 00:17:37,750
I'm fine.
340
00:17:37,750 --> 00:17:41,270
Right now, you're listening to the
sounds of...
341
00:17:41,270 --> 00:17:45,230
er, I can't read it cos it's going
really fast, but, you know what?
342
00:17:45,230 --> 00:17:47,630
I'm actually getting
really excited now.
343
00:17:49,150 --> 00:17:50,870
MUSIC PLAYS
344
00:17:50,870 --> 00:17:51,910
KNOCK ON DOOR
345
00:17:57,630 --> 00:17:59,630
Easy.
346
00:17:59,630 --> 00:18:02,470
All right, mate. Hey, how you doing,
you all right? You all right?
347
00:18:02,470 --> 00:18:05,310
Yeah, good, mate. Come on through.
348
00:18:05,310 --> 00:18:06,830
Decoy!
349
00:18:06,830 --> 00:18:10,990
Cool, man,
can you get on the decks, yeah?
350
00:18:10,990 --> 00:18:12,270
My DJ set. Come on.
351
00:18:12,270 --> 00:18:14,350
RECORD ENDS
352
00:18:14,350 --> 00:18:17,230
Start now, yeah? Sweet. Well done,
Decoy.
353
00:18:19,310 --> 00:18:21,750
All right, mate, can you hurry up?
Decoy, well done, mate.
354
00:18:21,750 --> 00:18:23,550
OK, just get yourself set up.
Come on.
355
00:18:23,550 --> 00:18:25,030
Come on, Decoy, out the way.
356
00:18:25,030 --> 00:18:28,990
All right, people,
big it up - DJ Decoy inside, yeah,
357
00:18:28,990 --> 00:18:30,510
smash the set, brother.
358
00:18:30,510 --> 00:18:34,950
You're locked into the London's
leading Kurupt FM 108.9 right now.
359
00:18:34,950 --> 00:18:39,110
Next up, we have special guest DJ
for one night only, goes by the...
360
00:18:39,110 --> 00:18:41,070
What's your DJ name? Cheers, mate.
361
00:18:41,070 --> 00:18:45,110
Let me. I'll get the mic.
Just, here you go.
362
00:18:45,110 --> 00:18:49,350
All right,
just a special announcement for us.
363
00:18:49,350 --> 00:18:51,990
'You're now listening to DJ
Vinyl Destination,
364
00:18:51,990 --> 00:18:54,550
'sponsored by Chabuddy
Worldwide Internet Cafe Cabin.'
365
00:18:54,550 --> 00:18:57,830
That's a bit much, innit?
Don't really need an intro.
366
00:18:57,830 --> 00:19:00,870
Just part of the set. All right.
367
00:19:00,870 --> 00:19:04,790
Can you turn that one up then,
mate?
368
00:19:04,790 --> 00:19:09,670
MUSIC PLAYS
369
00:19:16,750 --> 00:19:19,030
There's singing all over it, Chabs.
370
00:19:19,030 --> 00:19:21,470
It's not, Chabs, it's DJ Vinyl
Destination.
371
00:19:21,470 --> 00:19:23,750
Whatever, DJ fucking
Destination, man,
372
00:19:23,750 --> 00:19:26,470
there's singing all over the shit -
I can't do my MC'ing.
373
00:19:26,470 --> 00:19:29,390
Yeah. Huh? What do you mean, yeah?
Yeah, it's sick, this.
374
00:19:29,390 --> 00:19:33,310
No, it's...oh, just fuck it.
375
00:19:33,310 --> 00:19:36,350
Just hurry up, yeah, hurry up.
376
00:19:39,230 --> 00:19:43,030
MUSIC PLAYS
377
00:19:43,030 --> 00:19:46,790
MUSIC DROWNS OUT SPEECH
378
00:19:52,990 --> 00:19:54,830
MUSIC DROWNS OUT SPEECH
379
00:19:54,830 --> 00:19:56,550
D'you hear someone knocking?
380
00:20:06,110 --> 00:20:07,630
Chabsy. Yeah, boss?
381
00:20:07,630 --> 00:20:11,390
Absolutely hit it, mate. You didn't
say you could do it...yeah, yeah.
382
00:20:11,390 --> 00:20:14,190
Keep doing it,
keep doing what you're doing.
383
00:20:14,190 --> 00:20:15,950
Play whatever you want, yeah? Yeah?
384
00:20:15,950 --> 00:20:17,910
We're popping out,
see you later, mate.
385
00:20:17,910 --> 00:20:20,790
There's some of my stuff, man.
Just take all you need, yeah. Yeah.
386
00:20:20,790 --> 00:20:23,830
Don't worry, yeah, don't worry,
I've got this, I've got this, yeah.
387
00:20:23,830 --> 00:20:26,430
I'm about to tear these suckers
a new ear hole.
388
00:20:28,110 --> 00:20:30,150
All right, mate, see you later.
389
00:20:30,150 --> 00:20:33,590
MUSIC PLAYS
390
00:20:38,790 --> 00:20:43,030
I will literally do anything it
takes to keep Kurupt FM going,
391
00:20:43,030 --> 00:20:45,270
yeah, and so would Beats.
392
00:20:45,270 --> 00:20:48,750
Like, to me, there's two
types of people in this world -
393
00:20:48,750 --> 00:20:51,670
you've got the layabouts, yeah,
the people that do nothing,
394
00:20:51,670 --> 00:20:53,390
and then you've got the doers.
395
00:20:54,950 --> 00:20:58,270
Think it's pretty obvious
which one of them I am,
396
00:20:58,270 --> 00:21:00,070
I mean, I'm on a fucking roof, so...
397
00:21:07,630 --> 00:21:09,830
He's going to love this, innit?
Innit?
398
00:21:16,390 --> 00:21:19,870
Where's...where's Beats, like?
He ain't here.
399
00:21:19,870 --> 00:21:22,870
What do you mean, he ain't here?
He's baby-sitting you. No.
400
00:21:22,870 --> 00:21:25,430
It's all right, love,
I've got it, go on.
401
00:21:25,430 --> 00:21:28,710
Does he look like he needs
baby-sitting? He weighs 18 stone.
402
00:21:28,710 --> 00:21:32,310
Well, where is he, then? Cos,
like, it's, like...Beats!
403
00:21:32,310 --> 00:21:33,630
He's gone to that wedding.
404
00:21:33,630 --> 00:21:36,030
He's...he hasn't gone to that
wedding, cos we... He has.
405
00:21:36,030 --> 00:21:38,550
No, he hasn't, cos we've agreed...
No, he has. No, we agreed
406
00:21:38,550 --> 00:21:41,150
he wasn't doing it, and he would
never go without me, so...
407
00:21:41,150 --> 00:21:42,550
OK, well, he has. So is that it?
408
00:21:42,550 --> 00:21:45,310
Is this little grannies'
meeting over?
409
00:21:45,310 --> 00:21:48,470
You're the only granny round here.
What did you say? Go!
410
00:21:53,110 --> 00:21:56,110
MUSIC PLAYS
411
00:22:17,870 --> 00:22:20,390
Fucking hell.
412
00:22:20,390 --> 00:22:21,590
Stevie.
413
00:22:21,590 --> 00:22:25,070
You know what, Decoy's got some
proper good tunes and that, man.
414
00:22:25,070 --> 00:22:27,390
Steves, any requests?
415
00:22:27,390 --> 00:22:30,710
A bit of gabba, bruv. Just out
of that little blue bag.
416
00:22:30,710 --> 00:22:32,030
Blue bag. Gabba, yeah?
417
00:22:35,430 --> 00:22:39,910
MUSIC: "Reach For The Sky"
by S Club 7
418
00:22:55,990 --> 00:23:00,070
MUSIC: "Dreams" by Gabrielle
419
00:23:22,750 --> 00:23:25,110
Thought I might find you here.
420
00:23:25,110 --> 00:23:27,230
Bruv.
I know exactly what's going on.
421
00:23:28,310 --> 00:23:30,790
I know, it's only because...
422
00:23:30,790 --> 00:23:35,030
I've got to hand it to you, mate,
you're a crafty little fucker.
423
00:23:35,030 --> 00:23:36,670
I know.
424
00:23:36,670 --> 00:23:38,870
You saw all this coming, didn't ya?
425
00:23:38,870 --> 00:23:40,830
Huh?
426
00:23:40,830 --> 00:23:43,390
You're willing to put
yourself on the line, put yourself
427
00:23:43,390 --> 00:23:46,630
through all of this, just to get us
out of debt with Chabuds.
428
00:23:46,630 --> 00:23:49,390
I was, yeah, exactly,
cos I thought I'd just do this...
429
00:23:49,390 --> 00:23:52,630
Yeah. Cos I knew you wouldn't really
want to come down here and that,
430
00:23:52,630 --> 00:23:54,030
so, yeah.
431
00:23:54,030 --> 00:23:56,310
Done it for the station.
432
00:23:56,310 --> 00:23:57,390
Exactly.
433
00:24:00,310 --> 00:24:02,630
I shouldn't have underestimated you,
mate.
434
00:24:02,630 --> 00:24:07,390
I'll tell you what, pop a little
garage on and let's show them
435
00:24:07,390 --> 00:24:08,870
how it's really done.
436
00:24:08,870 --> 00:24:12,150
I don't know if that's
their kind of thing, though.
437
00:24:12,150 --> 00:24:15,110
Grindah will always be there for me
no matter what.
438
00:24:15,110 --> 00:24:17,830
He's my best friend.
We've done everything together
439
00:24:17,830 --> 00:24:20,390
since we were, like, that big,
do you know what I mean?
440
00:24:20,390 --> 00:24:23,790
So, like, if she kicked me
out, I could just go and stay at his
441
00:24:23,790 --> 00:24:26,990
and he wouldn't say anything.
He'd welcome me in with open arms,
442
00:24:26,990 --> 00:24:29,790
say, "Look, there's a sofa there,"
do you know what I mean?
443
00:24:29,790 --> 00:24:32,310
"Here's a Zoo, chill out."
444
00:24:32,310 --> 00:24:37,550
GARAGE MUSIC PLAYS
445
00:24:37,550 --> 00:24:39,110
# Get out the way! Get out the way!
446
00:24:39,110 --> 00:24:41,750
# Fuck, he's getting shot, bang,
bang, bang. Get out the way!
447
00:24:41,750 --> 00:24:42,830
# Get out the way!
448
00:24:42,830 --> 00:24:46,710
# Someone's getting shot!
Who? Bang, bang, bang.
449
00:24:46,710 --> 00:24:49,030
# Yeah! Look at them... #
450
00:24:49,030 --> 00:24:51,310
This is a great idea.
What was you worried about?
451
00:24:51,310 --> 00:24:52,630
Yeah.
452
00:24:52,630 --> 00:24:56,350
It's just to pay for the equipment,
it doesn't even cover my cost.
453
00:24:56,350 --> 00:24:58,630
So, cheers, mate.
They're saying we can't go back in.
454
00:24:58,630 --> 00:25:02,270
Lisa's nan was crying before I even
got there. They loved it.
455
00:25:02,270 --> 00:25:04,390
You see that little kid?
He was loving it as well.
456
00:25:04,390 --> 00:25:06,470
Yeah, he was loving it.
Still got paid, though.
457
00:25:06,470 --> 00:25:07,870
I was going to say about the pay -
458
00:25:07,870 --> 00:25:10,430
how much have we got to give Chabuds?
Cos I was hoping...
459
00:25:10,430 --> 00:25:13,710
That's the beauty of it - worry not,
because I unplugged the transmitter.
460
00:25:13,710 --> 00:25:15,150
He still thinks he done the set.
461
00:25:15,150 --> 00:25:17,550
Hey, I might go back, yeah - get us
back on air, innit?
462
00:25:17,550 --> 00:25:21,150
Yeah, someone should do that, sweet.
In a bit, yeah, nice one, in a bit.
463
00:25:21,150 --> 00:25:23,030
So do I get to keep the money, yeah?
464
00:25:23,030 --> 00:25:26,030
Yeah, of course we can. Hundred
each. So, five minutes' work,
465
00:25:26,030 --> 00:25:28,630
it's the beauty of the game for ya.
Yeah, go on, do a little...
466
00:25:28,630 --> 00:25:29,870
Uh, smell it, smell it.
467
00:25:29,870 --> 00:25:32,310
Ah, smells like...
Real, it's real cash. Yeah.
468
00:25:32,310 --> 00:25:34,590
Dirty cash but...well, it's not,
but...
469
00:25:34,590 --> 00:25:39,030
That's legit, that. That's legit
so. Squat down, get a good shot.
470
00:25:39,030 --> 00:25:42,030
You know, you want to dash it all up
in the air like this and move it.
471
00:25:42,030 --> 00:25:44,310
Well, don't,
cos half of that's mine.
472
00:25:44,310 --> 00:25:48,430
Yeah, all right, just...
did you get that?
473
00:25:48,430 --> 00:25:49,470
Nice, nice.
474
00:25:50,910 --> 00:25:54,710
40, 60, 80. Cheers, mate.
475
00:25:54,710 --> 00:25:57,910
Sweet. Look at that, that is
proper money that, as well.
476
00:25:57,910 --> 00:26:01,590
That's a honest day's work,
£100, all mine.
477
00:26:01,590 --> 00:26:04,110
I'm a proper man now,
got responsibilities,
478
00:26:04,110 --> 00:26:06,710
you lot should try that
sort of shit, it's rewarding.
479
00:26:06,710 --> 00:26:08,030
Bless up, yeah.
480
00:26:08,030 --> 00:26:12,150
MUSIC PLAYS
481
00:26:23,350 --> 00:26:25,990
There's a oner for the washing
machine there, so...
482
00:26:25,990 --> 00:26:29,390
There's a little bit extra, treat
yourself, get a little dress.
483
00:26:29,390 --> 00:26:31,350
Or some army shorts or whatever.
484
00:26:31,350 --> 00:26:33,310
I'm going to shoot up.
485
00:26:33,310 --> 00:26:35,590
Yeah, Craig - give it half an hour,
yeah?
486
00:26:38,150 --> 00:26:41,350
MUSIC PLAYS
487
00:26:42,390 --> 00:26:46,630
Kurupt FM will never die, yeah,
and neither will we, like.
488
00:26:46,630 --> 00:26:47,990
We're like dragons.
489
00:26:47,990 --> 00:26:50,110
Well, no, we're not,
cos dragons don't exist.
490
00:26:50,110 --> 00:26:52,630
A dinosaur or a T rex.
491
00:26:52,630 --> 00:26:54,830
Well, no,
cos the T rex would be me
492
00:26:54,830 --> 00:26:56,990
cos there's only one T rex.
493
00:26:56,990 --> 00:26:59,950
I'll probably be one of them -
you know them long ones
494
00:26:59,950 --> 00:27:03,070
with the big necks, like, just gazing
across Jurassic Park.
495
00:27:03,070 --> 00:27:08,830
Bare grass, like.
Doesn't have to be Jurassic Park.
496
00:27:08,830 --> 00:27:12,630
Screens.
497
00:27:12,630 --> 00:27:17,950
When I die, yeah, I'll just
be, like, frozen in time
498
00:27:17,950 --> 00:27:20,750
with one hand on my headphones,
499
00:27:20,750 --> 00:27:24,070
one hand upon decks,
staring into the mixer,
500
00:27:24,070 --> 00:27:28,070
just enjoying music,
like, dying for the cause, like.
501
00:27:28,070 --> 00:27:32,590
When I...when I die, actually,
I'll be in a massive mausoleum,
502
00:27:32,590 --> 00:27:37,310
like, frozen with a mic in my hand,
mouth open
503
00:27:37,310 --> 00:27:43,470
cos I've been screaming my last
lyrics to my last dying breath.
504
00:27:43,470 --> 00:27:44,870
Kurupt FM.
505
00:27:44,870 --> 00:27:46,150
Viva for ever.
38915
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