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1
00:00:02,920 --> 00:00:05,640
[Chabuddy] All the great
entrepreneers all started
somewhere.
2
00:00:05,680 --> 00:00:09,200
Your Double Drunks,
your Drunken Palentines.
3
00:00:09,240 --> 00:00:14,160
The Apprentice guy,
Alan Shearer. They all started
in something like this.
4
00:00:14,200 --> 00:00:17,400
Welcome to the dream factory!
5
00:00:17,440 --> 00:00:20,680
Where dreams are made.
6
00:00:20,720 --> 00:00:23,240
Mainly T-shirts though.
7
00:00:23,280 --> 00:00:28,040
What makes a good T-shirt?
I think, erm...deceptiveness.
8
00:00:28,080 --> 00:00:31,160
So you look at a T-shirt and
you think, "Oh, that's Gucci,
isn't it?"
9
00:00:31,200 --> 00:00:33,800
If you look carefully,
it's Coochi.
10
00:00:33,840 --> 00:00:38,040
Dolce & Gabbana? No, mate.
Deepak and Gurdev.
11
00:00:38,080 --> 00:00:39,960
[director] How many
T-shirts have you bought?
12
00:00:40,000 --> 00:00:42,880
This is the T-shirts here.
So I've got 6,000 of these.
13
00:00:42,920 --> 00:00:46,600
But so far,
I've done around two.
14
00:00:46,640 --> 00:00:49,920
Bloody upside down, isn't it?
15
00:00:49,960 --> 00:00:51,680
Oh, shit!
16
00:00:51,720 --> 00:00:53,960
Oh, fuck!
17
00:00:54,000 --> 00:00:56,720
Bloody hell, this is
harder than I thought.
18
00:00:58,560 --> 00:01:02,680
Should have people doing
this for me, really. Bastard!
19
00:01:02,720 --> 00:01:05,000
[Miche] Are you excited
about your day today?
20
00:01:05,040 --> 00:01:07,800
-[Angel] Yeah.
-Mummy's going to be
working all day, so...
21
00:01:07,840 --> 00:01:11,000
Right, well, give Mummy a hug.
Yeah!
22
00:01:12,680 --> 00:01:14,920
All right, well, I'll
see you after work then.
23
00:01:14,960 --> 00:01:16,880
-All right.
-Still feels weird saying that.
24
00:01:16,920 --> 00:01:20,720
All right, Ange? Have a fun
day with your daddy today, yeah?
25
00:01:20,760 --> 00:01:24,760
-I wanna to go to Nana's.
-Nana's on holiday, isn't she?
26
00:01:24,800 --> 00:01:27,880
Yeah, your precious nanny is
getting her rat out in Zante.
27
00:01:27,920 --> 00:01:30,760
Stop it! She's gone
to visit her lover.
28
00:01:30,800 --> 00:01:35,240
Lover? He's like 17 years old
and hands out flyers outside
a pub. He's hardly a lover.
29
00:01:35,280 --> 00:01:40,120
-Can't even speak English.
-Love is still the same whether
in English or in...foreign.
30
00:01:40,160 --> 00:01:43,480
-I'll see you after five.
-All right. Laters.
31
00:01:46,120 --> 00:01:48,560
[switch clicks]
Fucking light bulbs!
32
00:01:48,600 --> 00:01:50,920
Oh, they put 'em too high up.
33
00:02:00,000 --> 00:02:02,680
Oh, for fuck's sake!
34
00:02:04,440 --> 00:02:08,040
Craig, don't use
the downstairs toilet, mate.
35
00:02:08,080 --> 00:02:12,120
-The light's not working.
-Mum said you have to fix it.
36
00:02:12,160 --> 00:02:14,640
She's always trying to get us
to fix stuff, innit?
37
00:02:14,680 --> 00:02:17,000
She says she's sick of
shitting in the dark.
38
00:02:17,040 --> 00:02:20,760
Makes it way more intense
than what it needs to be.
39
00:02:20,800 --> 00:02:24,720
Yeah, it is quite intense.
You don't know where you're
at with the wipes.
40
00:02:31,360 --> 00:02:34,160
Hello, Lavender. Miche speaking.
41
00:02:34,200 --> 00:02:36,760
Okay, yeah, I'll just
put you on hold.
42
00:02:36,800 --> 00:02:40,440
So this is my new work.
This is Lavender Hair & Beauty.
43
00:02:40,480 --> 00:02:43,240
At the moment, I'm on
a probation period.
44
00:02:43,280 --> 00:02:47,680
So that means I'm on a...
It's like an audition.
45
00:02:47,720 --> 00:02:51,400
But it's for the role
of a hairdresser, so, yeah.
46
00:02:51,440 --> 00:02:54,360
Would that be the full body
or is that the half wax?
47
00:02:54,400 --> 00:02:56,360
Okay, great, I'll just
put you on hold.
48
00:02:56,400 --> 00:02:58,680
Hello, Lavender.
Miche speaking.
49
00:02:58,720 --> 00:03:02,760
What sort of therapy or
procedure would you be
interested in today?
50
00:03:02,800 --> 00:03:05,440
Yeah, I'll just pop you on hold.
51
00:03:05,480 --> 00:03:10,000
-You all right, Miche?
-Tanya, yeah. I'm just
practising my phone technique.
52
00:03:10,040 --> 00:03:13,080
-Is there a hold button?
-No.
53
00:03:13,120 --> 00:03:15,000
Oh, okay.
54
00:03:22,240 --> 00:03:24,120
[knocking on door]
55
00:03:24,160 --> 00:03:27,160
There's the door.
Get the door, please, Angel.
56
00:03:27,200 --> 00:03:32,160
I don't need to constantly
hang round with a little girl.
That's weird.
57
00:03:32,200 --> 00:03:34,600
People get arrested
for things like that.
58
00:03:34,640 --> 00:03:36,480
Why should I be doing that?
59
00:03:36,520 --> 00:03:39,120
And then people are gonna
see me, like.
60
00:03:39,160 --> 00:03:41,280
"Grindah just hangs round
with little chicks."
61
00:03:41,320 --> 00:03:44,560
-No one's gonna respect me.
-She's your daughter.
62
00:03:44,600 --> 00:03:48,000
Go and give Grindah
his jacket as well.
63
00:03:52,600 --> 00:03:55,080
-Are you lot...?
-Yeah, we'll follow you.
64
00:03:55,120 --> 00:03:57,200
All right, sweet.
65
00:04:03,240 --> 00:04:06,760
Chabuddy is recruiting.
It's official, guys.
66
00:04:06,800 --> 00:04:11,000
Yeah, know what I mean?
No questions here as well.
You don't need any visa.
67
00:04:11,040 --> 00:04:13,920
There's a lot of guys out there
who are looking for work
68
00:04:13,960 --> 00:04:17,160
and, today, I am their
knight in shiny armour.
69
00:04:17,200 --> 00:04:21,480
I remember happy hours
when I got my first job.
70
00:04:21,520 --> 00:04:24,160
It was in Lahore.
I was 12 years old.
71
00:04:24,200 --> 00:04:27,440
And I had the opportunity
to work for Nissan.
72
00:04:27,480 --> 00:04:33,160
Blown away. Unfortunately, when
I got there I realised it was
just a prawn-peeling factory
73
00:04:33,200 --> 00:04:35,560
and my boss's nickname
was Nissan,
74
00:04:35,600 --> 00:04:38,480
cos he drove a Nissan, isn't it?
75
00:04:38,520 --> 00:04:43,440
Are you struggling
to find work? Do you like
clothes and money and women?
76
00:04:43,480 --> 00:04:47,720
This might be the opportunity
for you. Come down to my
sweatshop...to my warehouse.
77
00:04:47,760 --> 00:04:50,720
Come down to my warehouse
and get some work in, mate.
78
00:04:50,760 --> 00:04:54,440
♪ Hate, hate, rhythm and shout
Hate, hate, rhythm and shout ♪
79
00:04:54,480 --> 00:04:57,920
♪ Hate, hate, rhythm and shout
Who's gonna mix me now? ♪
80
00:04:57,960 --> 00:05:01,560
♪ Hate, hate, rhythm and shout
Hate, hate, rhythm and shout ♪
81
00:05:01,600 --> 00:05:04,560
♪ Hate, hate, rhythm and shout
Who's gonna mix me now? ♪
82
00:05:04,600 --> 00:05:06,960
♪ With the rhythm
it's a all select! ♪
83
00:05:07,000 --> 00:05:10,000
♪ With the rhythm
it's a all select! MC
Grindah with the intellect ♪
84
00:05:10,040 --> 00:05:14,440
Grindah. Can we get rid
of all these ashtrays
and that, cos of Angel?
85
00:05:14,480 --> 00:05:16,880
Do you need me to blaze this
outside as well?
86
00:05:16,920 --> 00:05:20,320
Good point, actually. Don't
want her to develop a taste
for it too early.
87
00:05:20,360 --> 00:05:23,760
[Miche] Angel's been spending
a lot more time with
Grindah and Decoy
88
00:05:23,800 --> 00:05:26,160
since I've been working,
so that's nice.
89
00:05:26,200 --> 00:05:30,080
[director] How is Grindah
finding it with you not
around as much?
90
00:05:30,120 --> 00:05:33,720
Oh, well, I think Grindah's
coping now I'm working.
91
00:05:33,760 --> 00:05:37,880
They were a few problems at
first. He couldn't understand
when his mealtimes were.
92
00:05:37,920 --> 00:05:41,320
So I had to leave him, sort of,
little boxes in the fridge
93
00:05:41,360 --> 00:05:44,800
of all his different food
and I send him a message
when he should eat it.
94
00:05:44,840 --> 00:05:48,360
♪ Long-time man like Angel
Stepping up, stepping in ♪
95
00:05:48,400 --> 00:05:51,640
Don't play any of the mixes
though. We're live on air, yeah?
96
00:05:51,680 --> 00:05:53,440
♪ Selecta, selecta ♪
97
00:05:56,240 --> 00:05:58,320
♪ Kurupt FM ♪
98
00:05:58,360 --> 00:06:01,240
-What does this one do?
-No, don't, like...
99
00:06:01,280 --> 00:06:03,720
-Chill out, mate. Just...
-Yeah, but...
100
00:06:03,760 --> 00:06:07,400
-I spent ages setting that up.
-I reckon we should
just take her out, man.
101
00:06:07,440 --> 00:06:10,680
Yeah. Angel, where would
you like to go?
102
00:06:10,720 --> 00:06:13,200
I want to go to Nana's.
103
00:06:13,240 --> 00:06:16,560
She's constantly, like, "Oh,
Nana does this, Nana does that."
104
00:06:16,600 --> 00:06:20,560
She's trying to throw it
in my face. I know what
Angel's doing. She's clever.
105
00:06:20,600 --> 00:06:25,200
She wants me to rise to that,
so that I can be the best
father I can be.
106
00:06:25,240 --> 00:06:27,680
And for that, mate,
I respect her.
107
00:06:27,720 --> 00:06:31,720
Okay. Change of plan.
All right, do your jacket up.
108
00:06:31,760 --> 00:06:35,360
You all right to look after
it all till Miche gets back?
109
00:06:35,400 --> 00:06:38,120
-Yeah, man, course. Definitely.
-All right. Sweet.
110
00:06:38,160 --> 00:06:43,520
-I can trust you, yeah?
-Yeah! When have I ever
let you down...recently.
111
00:06:43,560 --> 00:06:47,240
You can go back in now,
Steves mate. In a bit.
112
00:06:47,280 --> 00:06:52,400
Ruddy government! Always
trying to hold you down,
isn't it? You know?
113
00:06:52,440 --> 00:06:55,480
I'm offering a job where
you can be your own boss.
114
00:06:55,520 --> 00:06:57,960
Just jump in my van
and do exactly what I tell you.
115
00:06:58,000 --> 00:07:01,240
Hello, mate. Do you want a job?
Jump in the van, mate.
116
00:07:01,280 --> 00:07:03,320
Anyone want a job?
117
00:07:03,360 --> 00:07:05,840
Recruiting is about confidence.
118
00:07:05,880 --> 00:07:08,320
One thing that people love
is confidence.
119
00:07:08,360 --> 00:07:11,600
I can sell anything to anyone,
anywhere, any time, any who,
120
00:07:11,640 --> 00:07:13,680
any what, why, where,
who, why, when.
121
00:07:13,720 --> 00:07:16,000
Vintage madam, look at that.
Cash money, bro!
122
00:07:16,040 --> 00:07:18,880
Wait till I pull up
in the Merc, yeah?
123
00:07:18,920 --> 00:07:23,160
They'll see the 'tache,
the shoes, they're gonna say,
"Yes, that's my new boss."
124
00:07:23,200 --> 00:07:27,760
I don't get it. In the films,
they jump straight
into your van.
125
00:07:27,800 --> 00:07:29,880
Open the doors, they come in.
126
00:07:31,880 --> 00:07:34,440
Maybe it only works
with Mexicans.
127
00:07:36,360 --> 00:07:38,960
Where can I find some Mexicans?
128
00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:43,560
If you put something in for
about six weeks, once your
regrowth has come through, yeah?
129
00:07:43,600 --> 00:07:48,240
Yeah. Okay, great. And that's
£50 for today, thank you.
130
00:07:48,280 --> 00:07:51,120
-There you go.
-Oh, lovely. Thanks. Erm...
131
00:07:51,160 --> 00:07:54,600
-Great. So I hope you enjoyed
your Lavender experience.
-Thank you very much.
132
00:07:54,640 --> 00:07:56,480
Have a great day.
133
00:07:56,520 --> 00:07:58,520
When I first worked here,
134
00:07:58,560 --> 00:08:01,120
I didn't know what lavender
meant, but I Googled it,
135
00:08:01,160 --> 00:08:03,960
and, yeah, I found out
that it is a tone of purple.
136
00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:07,240
[director] And it smells
of lavender in here as well.
137
00:08:09,480 --> 00:08:13,520
-Er, well, it's purple.
-The plant, I mean.
138
00:08:13,560 --> 00:08:15,680
No, this is just a colour.
139
00:08:17,440 --> 00:08:19,960
What about the picture
behind you?
140
00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:22,080
Yeah, it's purple.
141
00:08:22,120 --> 00:08:24,040
No, the plant.
142
00:08:26,160 --> 00:08:30,280
Yeah, no, it's a purple plant.
Is that what you mean?
143
00:08:30,320 --> 00:08:32,680
[Beats] ♪ Pure Kuruption... ♪
144
00:08:35,240 --> 00:08:39,520
Have you seen this? It's
normally Grindah's chair, but...
145
00:08:39,560 --> 00:08:43,200
As acting head honcho today,
I can use it.
146
00:08:43,240 --> 00:08:46,800
Being second-in-command
involves actually taking on
147
00:08:46,840 --> 00:08:50,160
the more stressful side
of the work.
148
00:08:50,200 --> 00:08:52,520
Better not overdo though, so...
149
00:08:52,560 --> 00:08:55,080
It's pass and parcel
of the game really, innit?
150
00:08:55,120 --> 00:08:58,440
I'm like a paramedic.
I'm always on call.
151
00:08:58,480 --> 00:09:02,040
Right about now, you launch
into the legendary,
152
00:09:02,080 --> 00:09:06,520
the absolute number one,
Kurupt FM, 108.9 on your dial!
153
00:09:08,040 --> 00:09:09,760
-Steve?
-Yeah.
154
00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:12,160
Can you make me a tea,
please, bruv?
155
00:09:12,200 --> 00:09:14,600
-Yeah.
-Cheers, mate.
156
00:09:18,840 --> 00:09:22,440
-[power goes off]
-What?
157
00:09:22,480 --> 00:09:26,280
Bruv, all the lights just went
off at the same time. I think
the poltergeist's back.
158
00:09:26,320 --> 00:09:28,760
It's definitely something
to do with the electricity.
159
00:09:28,800 --> 00:09:31,520
Cos poltergeist's actually
control the electricity.
160
00:09:31,560 --> 00:09:33,960
-That's what I've
been trying to say.
-What?
161
00:09:34,000 --> 00:09:35,960
Poltergeists control
electricity.
162
00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:38,040
-Is it?
-Yeah.
163
00:09:38,080 --> 00:09:41,000
They take our electricity,
then they put it on again,
164
00:09:41,040 --> 00:09:45,560
but only the TV and you get
sucked into the TV, and you're
a little girl saying...
165
00:09:45,600 --> 00:09:48,120
Don't get me started on
the poltergeist, mate.
166
00:09:48,160 --> 00:09:51,280
I've heard murmured voices
through the walls.
167
00:09:51,320 --> 00:09:54,520
I've heard creaking
late at night.
168
00:09:54,560 --> 00:09:56,960
All... Other things as well.
169
00:09:57,000 --> 00:10:00,280
So what other explanation
is there?
170
00:10:00,320 --> 00:10:02,560
Supernatural occurrence.
171
00:10:02,600 --> 00:10:05,680
Steven, stop with this
poltergeist shit, mate.
172
00:10:05,720 --> 00:10:09,360
You're throwing me off.
I really need to think.
173
00:10:09,400 --> 00:10:13,120
Cos Grindah's going to go mad
if he comes back and sees this.
174
00:10:13,160 --> 00:10:17,120
I'm going to check the mirrors.
Sometimes you can see
them in the mirrors.
175
00:10:17,160 --> 00:10:20,280
I must get...
176
00:10:20,320 --> 00:10:23,880
One, two, three! Aah!
177
00:10:23,920 --> 00:10:26,480
Oh, my God!
178
00:10:26,520 --> 00:10:28,800
Angel! Do the jump as well.
179
00:10:28,840 --> 00:10:31,200
-Do the jump backwards!
-No.
180
00:10:31,240 --> 00:10:34,960
Probably not, actually.
Mummy would be furious
if you broke something.
181
00:10:35,000 --> 00:10:39,640
The most important thing
to me as a parent is
seeing my kid happy.
182
00:10:39,680 --> 00:10:43,000
And, more importantly
than that...
183
00:10:43,040 --> 00:10:46,640
is knowing that she loves me
more than anyone else
in the world.
184
00:10:46,680 --> 00:10:51,200
Like, I know for a fact
that Angel loves me
more than her nan,
185
00:10:51,240 --> 00:10:55,520
cos when she draws
pictures of the family,
Nan is never in them.
186
00:10:55,560 --> 00:10:58,520
If she was, I'd tear it up
and Angel knows that.
187
00:10:58,560 --> 00:11:00,960
For example, you've got...
188
00:11:01,000 --> 00:11:03,240
a beautiful one here
that she done
189
00:11:03,280 --> 00:11:07,640
and it's just me, Angel and her
mum, do you know what I mean?
190
00:11:07,680 --> 00:11:10,000
Oh, yeah, and Decoy as well,
just cos...
191
00:11:10,040 --> 00:11:12,440
he's around quite a lot
so she includes him.
192
00:11:12,480 --> 00:11:15,080
So that's off?
193
00:11:15,120 --> 00:11:16,960
-[clicks switch]
-On.
194
00:11:17,000 --> 00:11:19,600
Off. No difference. On.
195
00:11:19,640 --> 00:11:22,720
It's definitely
an electrical issue.
196
00:11:22,760 --> 00:11:26,880
-Call Grindah.
-I'm not calling Grindah,
but we're gonna sort it.
197
00:11:26,920 --> 00:11:30,080
-Call Chabuds.
-Bruv, I'm not calling Chabuds.
198
00:11:30,120 --> 00:11:33,600
Cos Grindah will find out.
I'm gonna sort it.
199
00:11:33,640 --> 00:11:36,680
Who pays the electricity bills?
Does your nan still sort that?
200
00:11:36,720 --> 00:11:41,080
-Yeah, she still does the bills.
-Give her a call.
I've got credit.
201
00:11:41,120 --> 00:11:43,280
She ain't got a phone though.
202
00:11:43,320 --> 00:11:45,440
She destroyed it cos I
showed her a documentary
203
00:11:45,480 --> 00:11:47,840
about how the government
track you through your phone.
204
00:11:47,880 --> 00:11:52,200
It's a good point. Right,
we're gonna go and see her.
205
00:11:52,240 --> 00:11:54,840
-Now?
-Yeah, now.
206
00:11:54,880 --> 00:11:57,720
We need to sort this out,
Steve, I told you.
207
00:11:57,760 --> 00:12:01,040
Right, let me get a zoot for
the road. You not got Rizla?
208
00:12:01,080 --> 00:12:03,720
We'll get some at the shop.
209
00:12:03,760 --> 00:12:06,400
-Have you not got any?
-Steve, we don't have time!
210
00:12:06,440 --> 00:12:09,240
Pop yourself off.
211
00:12:12,720 --> 00:12:15,680
-Get out the way, it's my turn!
-It's not!
212
00:12:15,720 --> 00:12:18,880
-Get out the way, it's my turn!
-Stop!
213
00:12:22,040 --> 00:12:24,680
-Get out the way!
-You get out the way.
214
00:12:24,720 --> 00:12:28,600
You can go like this as well.
You're nan couldn't do that!
215
00:12:28,640 --> 00:12:32,360
-Whey! Backwards as well.
-Mate, what are you doing?
216
00:12:32,400 --> 00:12:35,160
[woman] She's really cute.
How old is she?
217
00:12:35,200 --> 00:12:38,240
She's not mine.
None of them are.
218
00:12:38,280 --> 00:12:40,840
[Grindah]
Oh, whatever, mate!
219
00:12:40,880 --> 00:12:43,360
Who do you think they
like more, you or me?
220
00:12:43,400 --> 00:12:46,640
"Oh, my child can't go on
the slide", or me, the one who
does it backwards, mate?
221
00:12:46,680 --> 00:12:49,480
You see that?
222
00:12:49,520 --> 00:12:52,560
I went on the thing backwards.
They'd never seen anything
like it.
223
00:12:52,600 --> 00:12:54,880
You killed it, man.
224
00:12:54,920 --> 00:12:58,840
Her nan could never do anything
like that in her pathetic
little life.
225
00:12:58,880 --> 00:13:00,880
Wooh!
226
00:13:00,920 --> 00:13:03,720
-There you go, bro.
-Oh, nice one.
227
00:13:05,480 --> 00:13:08,080
-[Decoy] Hey, there she is.
-There she is.
228
00:13:08,120 --> 00:13:11,520
Have you got the phone?
I need to call Beats.
229
00:13:11,560 --> 00:13:14,520
-He's not answering.
-He's probably mixing, man.
230
00:13:14,560 --> 00:13:17,200
Maybe.
231
00:13:17,240 --> 00:13:20,200
[Beats] If she has stopped
paying the electricity,
that is just proper selfish.
232
00:13:20,240 --> 00:13:23,640
-All right, Lorna.
-Happy Girl, We call her.
233
00:13:25,560 --> 00:13:28,680
-[door buzzes]
-Don't touch anything.
234
00:13:28,720 --> 00:13:31,760
Hi, Steve. How are you?
235
00:13:31,800 --> 00:13:33,800
Just normal, innit?
236
00:13:36,160 --> 00:13:42,080
Steve. I'm going to wait here.
Old people weird me out a bit.
237
00:13:42,120 --> 00:13:45,040
-In-and-out job with your nan.
-Right.
238
00:13:51,080 --> 00:13:55,880
"You're never too old to dream
big and seek new goals."
239
00:13:55,920 --> 00:13:59,040
Once you go past 40, mate...
240
00:13:59,080 --> 00:14:03,200
Do you know what I mean?
Give up, literally.
241
00:14:06,120 --> 00:14:10,520
-Oi-oi, Nanza! What's going on?
-Oh, what a surprise!
242
00:14:10,560 --> 00:14:14,160
-Didn't expect you.
-How you doing? All right?
What's going on? Good?
243
00:14:14,200 --> 00:14:16,720
-Lovely! Lovely!
-What are you lot saying?
244
00:14:16,760 --> 00:14:19,880
Ooh! I've got something
for you, actually.
245
00:14:19,920 --> 00:14:24,040
I was going to ask you something
as well. What was it?
246
00:14:24,080 --> 00:14:25,920
Keep 'em hidden.
247
00:14:29,000 --> 00:14:32,360
Nurse sorted them out for me.
They're mental.
248
00:14:32,400 --> 00:14:34,400
-Good, yeah?
-Yeah.
249
00:14:34,440 --> 00:14:37,160
Has he been on them?
He looks fucked.
250
00:14:37,200 --> 00:14:39,200
Oh, he's always away
with the fairies.
251
00:14:41,520 --> 00:14:46,080
Fire safety for people with
sight, hearing and mobility
difficulty.
252
00:14:46,120 --> 00:14:48,200
Good luck, do you know
what I mean?
253
00:14:51,280 --> 00:14:53,320
[Chabuds] Like playing
a little bit of footie.
254
00:14:53,360 --> 00:14:56,480
Pretty agile for their age.
They could be good workers.
255
00:14:56,520 --> 00:15:00,320
I might have a little butchers
see if they're up for
a bit of work.
256
00:15:00,360 --> 00:15:03,880
The thing is, with these kids,
you've got to relate to them,
you've got to impress them.
257
00:15:03,920 --> 00:15:07,760
Show them you know a bit
about footie. They used to
call me Bombay Becks.
258
00:15:07,800 --> 00:15:10,080
Hey, what's up? Do you
need another player?
259
00:15:10,120 --> 00:15:12,720
Let me see the ball, okay?
260
00:15:12,760 --> 00:15:16,080
I'll show you some skills
and that.
261
00:15:24,840 --> 00:15:28,000
Hey, listen, any of you lot
up for a bit of work, a bit
of cash-in-hand work?
262
00:15:28,040 --> 00:15:30,160
-[all] No.
-No?
263
00:15:30,200 --> 00:15:33,000
-Are you Mexican?
-No.
264
00:15:33,040 --> 00:15:35,800
-So you're not up for any work?
-No.
265
00:15:35,840 --> 00:15:39,120
All right.
You lot are shit, anyway.
266
00:15:39,160 --> 00:15:43,240
I find it hard, man, these
kids don't want to work
any more, you know?
267
00:15:43,280 --> 00:15:47,040
Like, I was working from
the age of eight,
with a 'tache, you know?
268
00:15:47,080 --> 00:15:51,360
These kids just want to lay
about on Chatroulette,
dicks everywhere,
269
00:15:51,400 --> 00:15:53,560
sending dick pics, you know?
270
00:15:53,600 --> 00:15:56,000
Snap-Snaps... What they into,
these kids?
271
00:15:56,040 --> 00:15:59,200
Nothing really, you know,
it's like, you know...
272
00:16:04,840 --> 00:16:08,160
-I might just have one...
-You all right, Steve?
273
00:16:08,200 --> 00:16:10,640
-Hello.
-Yeah, just...
274
00:16:10,680 --> 00:16:13,880
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just having
a little plate of biscuits.
275
00:16:13,920 --> 00:16:15,880
-Yes, thank you. All right?
-Lovely.
276
00:16:15,920 --> 00:16:19,840
-Really enjoying 'em. Thank you.
-All right, love.
277
00:16:19,880 --> 00:16:23,960
[Grindah] When we met Steves,
he was like...
[Beats] No one.
278
00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:29,320
[Grindah] The kid used
to live with his nan. How
sad is that? We come along...
279
00:16:29,360 --> 00:16:31,760
We, sort of, gave him the push
to get her out the flat.
280
00:16:31,800 --> 00:16:34,560
And we started pirate radio.
And now look at him now.
281
00:16:34,600 --> 00:16:38,680
He's got the fucking four
till five graveyard shift
on Kurupt FM.
282
00:16:38,720 --> 00:16:41,520
-DJ Steves. He used to
just be Steves.
-Yeah.
283
00:16:46,440 --> 00:16:49,760
-[Nan] That's for my back.
-Yeah, yeah.
284
00:16:49,800 --> 00:16:54,360
Nice little...nice little
burn at the back of the throat.
Yeah, it's good.
285
00:16:54,400 --> 00:16:58,200
-A little hint of wild berry.
-[they laugh]
286
00:16:58,240 --> 00:17:02,640
-Like she's talking
about wine, but it's drugs.
-Yeah, that's a good year that.
287
00:17:02,680 --> 00:17:07,520
-[posh accent] 1995 was
a very good year for pills.
-Yeah.
288
00:17:07,560 --> 00:17:11,840
[posh accent] 1995, is a...
No, I can't really do voices.
289
00:17:15,920 --> 00:17:18,840
Weeee!
[laughs]
290
00:17:18,880 --> 00:17:21,960
Angel!
[whistles]
291
00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:24,280
Come here, boy!
292
00:17:24,320 --> 00:17:27,520
There you go. See that?
Secret of parenting.
293
00:17:27,560 --> 00:17:31,640
They're basically like dogs.
Just give 'em sweets and they
just run around. It's easy.
294
00:17:31,680 --> 00:17:34,160
I'm killing, aren't I?
295
00:17:34,200 --> 00:17:35,920
[Angel] Weee!
296
00:17:35,960 --> 00:17:37,920
Come on, Beats mate.
297
00:17:37,960 --> 00:17:40,800
[mobile rings]
298
00:17:40,840 --> 00:17:44,400
-[director] Who's that?
-It's Grindah.
299
00:17:44,440 --> 00:17:48,320
Probably wants to know
why radio's not on.
300
00:17:48,360 --> 00:17:51,000
Are you worried?
301
00:17:51,040 --> 00:17:54,800
Yeah, a little bit, cos if
he gets back there and no one's
there, he'll be fuming.
302
00:17:54,840 --> 00:17:58,960
And we're not on air, so he's
gonna be even more fuming.
303
00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:02,120
Is it important for Kurupt
to stay on air?
304
00:18:02,160 --> 00:18:07,840
Yeah, of course. If you wanna
be London's leading, you can
literally never go down, like.
305
00:18:07,880 --> 00:18:10,400
[mobile rings]
306
00:18:10,440 --> 00:18:12,800
And again.
307
00:18:12,840 --> 00:18:16,560
[mobile rings]
308
00:18:16,600 --> 00:18:19,160
Just put it away.
309
00:18:19,200 --> 00:18:21,080
Out of sight, out of mind.
310
00:18:21,120 --> 00:18:25,760
-Where is Steve anyway though?
-[mobile rings]
311
00:18:25,800 --> 00:18:28,800
No. Still answer machine.
312
00:18:28,840 --> 00:18:32,120
We've got to get back.
I'm getting worried now. Angel!
313
00:18:32,160 --> 00:18:34,200
-We're going.
-Sweets!
314
00:18:34,240 --> 00:18:37,040
No, no more sweets.
We're going. Come on.
315
00:18:37,080 --> 00:18:40,480
See you lot in a bit, yeah?
Catch us up wherever.
316
00:18:40,520 --> 00:18:43,600
-This way. Eh?
-I want to play more.
317
00:18:43,640 --> 00:18:47,520
Oh, ooh! Life's not all about
fun, Angel. You've have
too much fun.
318
00:18:47,560 --> 00:18:52,440
If you have too much fun,
you can get a headache. Daddy
Grindah gets them all the time.
319
00:18:55,480 --> 00:18:59,400
[Steves] Cos people actually
have that voice in real life.
320
00:18:59,440 --> 00:19:03,800
Hello, nice to meet you.
Did you find out about
the electricity?
321
00:19:03,840 --> 00:19:07,600
Ah! That's what I was going
to do. Um, did you stop
paying the electricity?
322
00:19:07,640 --> 00:19:12,360
-Yeah, we got cut off.
-That's weird. We're on a meter.
323
00:19:12,400 --> 00:19:16,040
-The meter must have run out.
-No, it couldn't have, no.
324
00:19:16,080 --> 00:19:20,360
I rigged that meter with
a magnet. What's happened?
325
00:19:20,400 --> 00:19:23,960
Basically, all I know is,
I was plugging in my
new kettle
326
00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:27,480
-and I think a poltergeist...
-A new kettle, yeah?
327
00:19:27,520 --> 00:19:30,320
Well, you've blown a fuse,
haven't you, you daft twat!
328
00:19:30,360 --> 00:19:35,040
That's all it is. We should
go to the kettle and get
the fuse box out of it.
329
00:19:35,080 --> 00:19:39,680
Is the fuse box at Steves' flat?
Right, we've got to go.
It's the fuse box.
330
00:19:39,720 --> 00:19:42,480
-Come on, Steve.
-Sorry, Nan, I've got to go.
331
00:19:42,520 --> 00:19:45,360
'Ere, don't forget these.
332
00:19:45,400 --> 00:19:48,280
Oh, yes. You definitely
don't need these, yeah?
333
00:19:48,320 --> 00:19:50,960
No, no. You'll enjoy them
far more than I will.
334
00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:54,080
-Probably will, to be fair.
-Anyway, I can always
get some more.
335
00:19:54,120 --> 00:19:56,440
"Ooh, must have lost 'em.
So sorry."
336
00:19:56,480 --> 00:20:00,880
-No, I've got them here, Nan.
-Oh, no, you great idiot!
Go on, get out!
337
00:20:00,920 --> 00:20:04,320
-Bye, Steve's nan.
Nice to meet you.
-Bye, Nan.
338
00:20:04,360 --> 00:20:08,600
-She's all right for an "old".
-You wally!
339
00:20:08,640 --> 00:20:11,480
[Angel giggles]
340
00:20:11,520 --> 00:20:14,400
-What's going on?
-What's up?
341
00:20:14,440 --> 00:20:18,840
-It's not picking it up.
-Maybe it don't reach this far.
342
00:20:18,880 --> 00:20:22,640
Don't blame Kurupt FM cos
your shitty little radio
ain't up to it, bruv.
343
00:20:22,680 --> 00:20:25,360
I want sweets!
344
00:20:25,400 --> 00:20:28,240
Just have one, all right?
345
00:20:32,240 --> 00:20:35,240
If he gets back before us,
I'm fucked!
346
00:20:35,280 --> 00:20:38,720
-Yeah. Is that our bus?
-That's our bus!
347
00:20:38,760 --> 00:20:42,520
Let me get the whistle. Get
the whistle! [whistle blows]
348
00:20:42,560 --> 00:20:45,000
Got it from carnival.
349
00:20:45,040 --> 00:20:48,320
-Does that feel okay to you?
-Yeah, that's nice.
350
00:20:48,360 --> 00:20:50,640
-Is the temperature all right?
-Yeah.
351
00:20:50,680 --> 00:20:54,800
I've put on quite a lot of foam
so it gives a deeper
sort of...clean.
352
00:20:56,760 --> 00:21:01,320
Sorry. Just bear with me.
What are you doing here?
353
00:21:01,360 --> 00:21:06,600
-I've got to get back to radio,
so I've got to drop her off.
-I don't finish for an hour.
354
00:21:06,640 --> 00:21:09,400
I'm a bit early, but better
than being late, ain't it?
355
00:21:09,440 --> 00:21:12,360
-Hiya. Are you okay, Miche?
-Tanya.
356
00:21:12,400 --> 00:21:17,480
Sorry about this. Well, this
is my little girl, Angel,
who I told you about.
357
00:21:17,520 --> 00:21:21,280
And this is Grindah, who is
her dad and my boyfriend.
358
00:21:21,320 --> 00:21:25,880
-Oh, and that's just his friend.
-Just dropping off
the little 'un.
359
00:21:25,920 --> 00:21:31,360
Little tip for ya, just give
her loads of sweets every few
minutes and she'll be happy.
360
00:21:31,400 --> 00:21:34,400
-Really sorry about this.
-Sweet! See you later, girl.
361
00:21:34,440 --> 00:21:38,400
-Mummy's shampooing...
-Ha! Angel!
362
00:21:38,440 --> 00:21:40,800
She said "pooing"!
See you later.
363
00:21:40,840 --> 00:21:44,040
-[Angel] Pooing! Poo, poo!
-Hi, Angel.
364
00:21:44,080 --> 00:21:48,160
-Would you like to have
your nails done?
-Mummy said "pooing".
365
00:21:48,200 --> 00:21:50,440
Sorry, Tanya.
366
00:21:50,480 --> 00:21:53,600
Maybe just finish up there
and take a little break
or something.
367
00:21:53,640 --> 00:21:56,080
-If you just keep relaxing...
-You're a poo!
368
00:21:56,120 --> 00:21:59,240
-Tanya, I'm really sorry.
-It's fine. It's fine.
369
00:21:59,280 --> 00:22:03,600
-I think she's just had
too many sweets.
-Angel! Angel!
370
00:22:03,640 --> 00:22:08,080
All right, little man childs.
Listen, do you want to make
a bit of extra cash and that,
371
00:22:08,120 --> 00:22:12,240
for, like, your Myspace page,
maybe you want to pimp it out,
Facebook and that?
372
00:22:12,280 --> 00:22:15,040
-Excuse me.
-Hello...
373
00:22:17,440 --> 00:22:20,440
Come on, Steve mate.
Haven't got time.
374
00:22:23,560 --> 00:22:28,080
Bruv...
Bruv, do want any of these?
375
00:22:28,120 --> 00:22:32,400
Steves, we need to find the
fucking fuse box, mate. Where
did your nan say it was?
376
00:22:32,440 --> 00:22:36,880
Do you reckon the government
just gives old people, like,
drugs to try out on them?
377
00:22:36,920 --> 00:22:41,640
-Fucking hell!
-Cos if they die, it's not
suspicious circumstances.
378
00:22:41,680 --> 00:22:44,200
What's wrong with you? Grindah's
gonna be back any second,
379
00:22:44,240 --> 00:22:46,520
you fucking moron!
We need to find it, now!
380
00:22:46,560 --> 00:22:50,520
Quick! Don't you even care?
381
00:22:50,560 --> 00:22:53,600
I must just bosh a load
of these, cos I not even
feeling it right now.
382
00:22:53,640 --> 00:22:56,800
-Such a freak!
-What's it even look like?
383
00:22:56,840 --> 00:23:00,400
It's a box that has
electricity inside it.
384
00:23:03,560 --> 00:23:06,240
Have you checked these ones?
385
00:23:06,280 --> 00:23:10,480
I can't hear any of the tunes,
man. Don't point it upwards.
Don't film that bit.
386
00:23:10,520 --> 00:23:13,600
I'll look in the kitchen.
387
00:23:13,640 --> 00:23:16,920
You getting anything
in there, Steves?
388
00:23:18,480 --> 00:23:19,960
No.
389
00:23:20,000 --> 00:23:21,720
Get in, get in!
390
00:23:24,480 --> 00:23:26,840
Don't let me down, Beats mate.
391
00:23:29,480 --> 00:23:32,760
-[music plays]
-Easy boys, what's going on?
392
00:23:32,800 --> 00:23:36,400
Yeah, man. No, nothing.
All good. Everything
running smoothly, innit? Yeah.
393
00:23:36,440 --> 00:23:38,520
-Yeah? Nice, nice.
-Yeah.
394
00:23:38,560 --> 00:23:41,880
Get the old power back up
and running and that.
395
00:23:41,920 --> 00:23:43,360
-What?
-Yeah, what?
396
00:23:43,400 --> 00:23:46,000
-What?
-Nah...
397
00:23:46,040 --> 00:23:49,960
Steven, you're getting
slightly confused with
your new medication.
398
00:23:50,000 --> 00:23:54,600
Yeah, do you want to carry on
doing your record, babe?
Thank you.
399
00:23:54,640 --> 00:23:57,240
It is really tough to
run Kurupt.
400
00:23:57,280 --> 00:24:00,520
It's not that tough for me,
cos I'm naturally gifted.
401
00:24:00,560 --> 00:24:03,520
-It's backbreaking labour for
you, do you know what I mean?
-Yeah.
402
00:24:03,560 --> 00:24:06,040
Uh! Oh!
403
00:24:06,080 --> 00:24:08,000
Who...?
404
00:24:08,040 --> 00:24:11,240
Who changed the lumber
support on this?
405
00:24:11,280 --> 00:24:14,120
Who's been in my seat?
406
00:24:14,160 --> 00:24:17,960
I think Steves might have
used it earlier for his records.
407
00:24:18,000 --> 00:24:20,640
Steves mate! It's my seat.
408
00:24:20,680 --> 00:24:23,400
Beats knows that,
so he'd never touch it.
409
00:24:23,440 --> 00:24:27,440
Think I'm having my blackouts
again. I don't even
remember doing that.
410
00:24:29,840 --> 00:24:32,000
-[Miche] You all right?
-Easy. You good, yeah?
411
00:24:32,040 --> 00:24:34,680
Yeah, watch out cos Angel's
been sick on the carpet.
412
00:24:34,720 --> 00:24:39,000
-Probably all the excitement
she had today.
-She had, like, loads of sweets.
413
00:24:39,040 --> 00:24:42,360
It was like a big spray
of multiple-coloured jelly.
414
00:24:42,400 --> 00:24:45,080
Oh, not that bad then,
really, as sick goes.
415
00:24:45,120 --> 00:24:48,240
-She had a nice day, anyway.
-Nice day? Angel!
416
00:24:48,280 --> 00:24:52,040
Angel, did you say you
and Daddy had a nice day?
417
00:24:52,080 --> 00:24:54,800
-No, we had the best day ever!
-Yeah.
418
00:24:54,840 --> 00:24:58,160
Better than with your nana,
innit? Yeah, high-five!
419
00:24:58,200 --> 00:25:00,600
-She needs to sleep.
-There you have it, people!
420
00:25:00,640 --> 00:25:03,280
I am officially better
than your mum!
421
00:25:03,320 --> 00:25:05,960
-Probably get going.
-Cool, mate. Nice one.
422
00:25:06,000 --> 00:25:08,720
-See you tomorrow.
-Oh, man!
423
00:25:08,760 --> 00:25:12,520
That's actually put me
in a great mood, to be honest.
424
00:25:15,960 --> 00:25:18,400
[loud knocking on door]
425
00:25:21,560 --> 00:25:23,880
Whey-hey!
426
00:25:23,920 --> 00:25:26,360
Listen, I thought I'd come
and chat to Grindah,
427
00:25:26,400 --> 00:25:29,440
to see if anyone is up
for a little bit of work.
428
00:25:29,480 --> 00:25:33,400
Nah, they're all gone.
I've just been, sort of...
429
00:25:33,440 --> 00:25:36,320
Here on my own. Finishing up
for the night and that.
430
00:25:36,360 --> 00:25:39,080
I've just realised that I've
sorted out the entire
vinyl collection.
431
00:25:39,120 --> 00:25:42,040
It's all in order now,
alphabetical.
432
00:25:42,080 --> 00:25:44,520
[director] What do your
nan's drugs actually do?
433
00:25:44,560 --> 00:25:49,080
It just livens you up,
cos old people, they slow
down at that age.
434
00:25:49,120 --> 00:25:51,960
So if you aren't old
and then you do that,
435
00:25:52,000 --> 00:25:54,520
you've moving
at double the speed.
436
00:25:58,040 --> 00:26:01,720
Stevie, uh, what time
do you finish, mate?
437
00:26:06,800 --> 00:26:08,840
Roche.
438
00:26:11,000 --> 00:26:12,440
Roche.
439
00:26:15,160 --> 00:26:18,720
-You heard of these things
called 40-watt light bulbs?
-Yeah.
440
00:26:18,760 --> 00:26:21,760
Yeah, replace them up sometimes,
fuse boxes, whatever.
441
00:26:21,800 --> 00:26:26,280
Do washing machines. Whatever
you're after, really. Chill.
442
00:26:26,320 --> 00:26:29,760
-Anyone need a shit?
-[Craig] Already had two today.
443
00:26:29,800 --> 00:26:32,560
No, you go for it, love.
444
00:26:32,600 --> 00:26:37,240
Actually, I wonder if I...
left the bathroom light on
downstairs?
445
00:26:41,520 --> 00:26:46,640
Oh, you fixed it. Thanks, love.
Not just a pretty face, are you?
446
00:26:46,680 --> 00:26:48,760
Exactly.
447
00:26:48,800 --> 00:26:51,760
[Chabuds] It's amazing when
he's like this, you know?
448
00:26:51,800 --> 00:26:54,880
He's like...
He's like a machine.
449
00:26:54,920 --> 00:26:58,200
-And everyone just says he's
some brain-dead weirdo.
-Huh?
450
00:26:58,240 --> 00:27:03,920
Nah, nothing. I can't wait
for the world to see our
replica designer brands.
451
00:27:03,960 --> 00:27:06,120
Look at this.
452
00:27:06,160 --> 00:27:10,520
Limited edition Ralph Loren.
Polo, mate.
453
00:27:10,560 --> 00:27:13,040
-Jockey's bigger
than the horse on that.
-Exactly.
454
00:27:13,080 --> 00:27:16,840
-This guy is great.
-Dream job, innit?
455
00:27:16,880 --> 00:27:20,800
Stay focused, Stevie,
stay focused.
456
00:27:22,480 --> 00:27:24,960
-[toilet flushes]
-[Beats] She's finished.
457
00:27:29,000 --> 00:27:32,640
-How was it?
-Oh, get out of my house!
37191
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