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Welcome to the Daily Show. I'm Michael
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Welcome to the Daily Show. I'm Michael
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Welcome to the Daily Show. I'm Michael
Costa. We have got so much to talk about
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Costa. We have got so much to talk about
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Costa. We have got so much to talk about
tonight. Cash Patel drunk dials his
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tonight. Cash Patel drunk dials his
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tonight. Cash Patel drunk dials his
lawyer Jordan Kipper talks to young
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lawyer Jordan Kipper talks to young
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lawyer Jordan Kipper talks to young
Republicans and the labor secretary
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Republicans and the labor secretary
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Republicans and the labor secretary
resigns to spend more time with her very
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resigns to spend more time with her very
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resigns to spend more time with her very
weird family. So, let's get into it with
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weird family. So, let's get into it with
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weird family. So, let's get into it with
another edition of the worst wing.
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What a bunch of losers.
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Let's begin with Cash Patel, FBI
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Let's begin with Cash Patel, FBI
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Let's begin with Cash Patel, FBI
director and man who starts every day by
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director and man who starts every day by
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director and man who starts every day by
looking in the mirror and saying,
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looking in the mirror and saying,
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looking in the mirror and saying,
"Freeze, FREEZE, FBI, FREEZE."
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"Freeze, FREEZE, FBI, FREEZE."
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"Freeze, FREEZE, FBI, FREEZE."
In his tenor as FBI director, he's
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In his tenor as FBI director, he's
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In his tenor as FBI director, he's
almost solved dozens of cases, but this
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almost solved dozens of cases, but this
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almost solved dozens of cases, but this
time the case is about him. FBI director
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time the case is about him. FBI director
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time the case is about him. FBI director
Cash Patel is now suing for defamation
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Cash Patel is now suing for defamation
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Cash Patel is now suing for defamation
over a bombshell new article. Sources
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over a bombshell new article. Sources
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over a bombshell new article. Sources
told the magazine The Atlantic that
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told the magazine The Atlantic that
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told the magazine The Atlantic that
Patel quote has alarmed colleagues with
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Patel quote has alarmed colleagues with
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Patel quote has alarmed colleagues with
episodes of excessive drinking and
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episodes of excessive drinking and
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episodes of excessive drinking and
unexplained absences. He wants a quarter
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unexplained absences. He wants a quarter
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unexplained absences. He wants a quarter
of a billion dollars in damages.
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A quarter of a billion dollar hour
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A quarter of a billion dollar hour
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A quarter of a billion dollar hour
cashel excessive drinking.
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cashel excessive drinking.
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cashel excessive drinking.
I can't imagine such a thing. I mean,
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I can't imagine such a thing. I mean,
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I can't imagine such a thing. I mean,
yeah, he does always have the look of a
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yeah, he does always have the look of a
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yeah, he does always have the look of a
drunk guy trying to convince you he's
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drunk guy trying to convince you he's
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drunk guy trying to convince you he's
sober.
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But I've never seen him actually drink.
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But I've never seen him actually drink.
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But I've never seen him actually drink.
Although h now that I think about it,
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Although h now that I think about it,
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Although h now that I think about it,
there there was that one time.
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>> Ah, yes. I remember my first 10,000th
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>> Ah, yes. I remember my first 10,000th
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>> Ah, yes. I remember my first 10,000th
beer.
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beer.
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beer.
I guess in retrospect, if a room full of
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I guess in retrospect, if a room full of
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I guess in retrospect, if a room full of
21-year-old concussed hockey players
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21-year-old concussed hockey players
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21-year-old concussed hockey players
thinks you're a good hang, you probably
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thinks you're a good hang, you probably
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thinks you're a good hang, you probably
shouldn't be in charge of the FBI.
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shouldn't be in charge of the FBI.
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shouldn't be in charge of the FBI.
You probably shouldn't even be in charge
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You probably shouldn't even be in charge
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You probably shouldn't even be in charge
of the rental skates at the rink.
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of the rental skates at the rink.
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of the rental skates at the rink.
By the way, fun fact, Cash was already
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By the way, fun fact, Cash was already
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By the way, fun fact, Cash was already
in there drinking. He didn't even know
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in there drinking. He didn't even know
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in there drinking. He didn't even know
the Olympics were happening.
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the Olympics were happening.
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the Olympics were happening.
That's why he was so happy when the
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That's why he was so happy when the
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That's why he was so happy when the
hockey team showed up.
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hockey team showed up.
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hockey team showed up.
BUT SO WHAT? THE GUY PARTIES WHEN TEAM
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BUT SO WHAT? THE GUY PARTIES WHEN TEAM
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BUT SO WHAT? THE GUY PARTIES WHEN TEAM
USA wins a gold medal. That's not worth
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USA wins a gold medal. That's not worth
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USA wins a gold medal. That's not worth
a quarter of a billion dollars. How bad
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a quarter of a billion dollars. How bad
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a quarter of a billion dollars. How bad
are these accusations?
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are these accusations?
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are these accusations?
>> On multiple occasions in the past year,
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>> On multiple occasions in the past year,
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>> On multiple occasions in the past year,
members of Patel's security detail had
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members of Patel's security detail had
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members of Patel's security detail had
difficulty waking him because he was
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difficulty waking him because he was
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difficulty waking him because he was
seemingly intoxicated. At one point, the
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seemingly intoxicated. At one point, the
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seemingly intoxicated. At one point, the
article claims, even prompting a request
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article claims, even prompting a request
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article claims, even prompting a request
for SWAT style breaching equipment
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for SWAT style breaching equipment
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for SWAT style breaching equipment
because the director had been
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because the director had been
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because the director had been
unreachable behind locked doors.
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unreachable behind locked doors.
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unreachable behind locked doors.
>> Okay, I mean, that sounds pretty bad.
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>> Okay, I mean, that sounds pretty bad.
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>> Okay, I mean, that sounds pretty bad.
Um,
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Um,
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Um,
look, I've been hung over, but I've
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look, I've been hung over, but I've
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look, I've been hung over, but I've
never been so hung over they had to wake
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never been so hung over they had to wake
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never been so hung over they had to wake
me up the same way they killed Bin
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me up the same way they killed Bin
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me up the same way they killed Bin
Laden.
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WHAT ELSE YOU GOT? During Patel's tenure
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WHAT ELSE YOU GOT? During Patel's tenure
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WHAT ELSE YOU GOT? During Patel's tenure
as FBI director, the FBI has had to
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as FBI director, the FBI has had to
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as FBI director, the FBI has had to
reschedule early meetings as a quote
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reschedule early meetings as a quote
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reschedule early meetings as a quote
result of his alcohol-fueled nights,
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result of his alcohol-fueled nights,
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result of his alcohol-fueled nights,
adding that director Patel is often away
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adding that director Patel is often away
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adding that director Patel is often away
or unreachable. The story also goes on
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or unreachable. The story also goes on
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or unreachable. The story also goes on
to report Patel is a frequent guest of
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to report Patel is a frequent guest of
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to report Patel is a frequent guest of
the poodle room at the Fountain Blue
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the poodle room at the Fountain Blue
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the poodle room at the Fountain Blue
Hotel in Las Vegas, Nevada.
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Hotel in Las Vegas, Nevada.
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Hotel in Las Vegas, Nevada.
>> Okay,
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>> Okay,
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>> Okay,
it is a little weird that a man whose
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it is a little weird that a man whose
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it is a little weird that a man whose
job is in Washington DC also frequently
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job is in Washington DC also frequently
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job is in Washington DC also frequently
goes to something called the Poodle Room
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goes to something called the Poodle Room
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goes to something called the Poodle Room
in Las Vegas, but I'm sure the Poodle
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in Las Vegas, but I'm sure the Poodle
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in Las Vegas, but I'm sure the Poodle
Room is a distinguished, respectable,
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Room is a distinguished, respectable,
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Room is a distinguished, respectable,
hypoallergenic social club where
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hypoallergenic social club where
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hypoallergenic social club where
important men network and exchange
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important men network and exchange
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important men network and exchange
ideas.
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Oh,
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Oh,
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Oh,
so it's a coke dent.
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so it's a coke dent.
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so it's a coke dent.
Ladies,
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Ladies,
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Ladies,
ladies, if you want to get an STD on a
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ladies, if you want to get an STD on a
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ladies, if you want to get an STD on a
circular water bed, might I recommend
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circular water bed, might I recommend
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circular water bed, might I recommend
meeting a gentleman at the poodle room?
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meeting a gentleman at the poodle room?
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meeting a gentleman at the poodle room?
Imagine you're this guy at the poodle
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Imagine you're this guy at the poodle
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Imagine you're this guy at the poodle
room just having a good time with your
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room just having a good time with your
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room just having a good time with your
shirt unbuttoned all the way and all of
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shirt unbuttoned all the way and all of
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shirt unbuttoned all the way and all of
a sudden you're like, "Is that the FBI
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a sudden you're like, "Is that the FBI
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a sudden you're like, "Is that the FBI
director
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director
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director
throwing up on himself?"
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throwing up on himself?"
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throwing up on himself?"
And there's more in this article than
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And there's more in this article than
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And there's more in this article than
just stories about Cash drinking.
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just stories about Cash drinking.
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just stories about Cash drinking.
There's also stories about him being
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There's also stories about him being
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There's also stories about him being
stupid in a little highrung.
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stupid in a little highrung.
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stupid in a little highrung.
>> Back on April 10th, Patel had trouble
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>> Back on April 10th, Patel had trouble
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>> Back on April 10th, Patel had trouble
logging onto an internal computer
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logging onto an internal computer
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logging onto an internal computer
system. It was just a technical glitch.
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system. It was just a technical glitch.
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system. It was just a technical glitch.
But Patel quickly became convinced he
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But Patel quickly became convinced he
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But Patel quickly became convinced he
had been locked out and he panicked,
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had been locked out and he panicked,
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had been locked out and he panicked,
frantically calling aids and allies to
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frantically calling aids and allies to
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frantically calling aids and allies to
announce he had been fired by the White
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announce he had been fired by the White
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announce he had been fired by the White
House.
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House.
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House.
>> Whoa. Whoa. Calm down, Cash.
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>> Whoa. Whoa. Calm down, Cash.
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>> Whoa. Whoa. Calm down, Cash.
How paranoid are you if the moment you
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How paranoid are you if the moment you
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How paranoid are you if the moment you
have trouble logging into your computer,
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have trouble logging into your computer,
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have trouble logging into your computer,
you think you got fired? Oh no, they
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you think you got fired? Oh no, they
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you think you got fired? Oh no, they
fired me. Get me ON A PLANE TO CHINA.
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fired me. Get me ON A PLANE TO CHINA.
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fired me. Get me ON A PLANE TO CHINA.
I'M GOING TO TELL THEM ALL MY SECRETS. I
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I'M GOING TO TELL THEM ALL MY SECRETS. I
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I'M GOING TO TELL THEM ALL MY SECRETS. I
HATE THIS COUNTRY AND EVERYBODY IN IT.
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HATE THIS COUNTRY AND EVERYBODY IN IT.
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HATE THIS COUNTRY AND EVERYBODY IN IT.
OH, WAIT. I just had the caps lock on.
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Everything's cool.
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Everything's cool.
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Everything's cool.
God, I need a drink. Um,
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God, I need a drink. Um,
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God, I need a drink. Um,
but it is concerning that the guy who's
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but it is concerning that the guy who's
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but it is concerning that the guy who's
supposed to be the country's top
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supposed to be the country's top
235
00:05:13,440 --> 00:05:16,629
supposed to be the country's top
investigator can't crack the case of
236
00:05:16,629 --> 00:05:16,639
investigator can't crack the case of
237
00:05:16,639 --> 00:05:19,830
investigator can't crack the case of
logging into his own computer.
238
00:05:19,830 --> 00:05:19,840
logging into his own computer.
239
00:05:19,840 --> 00:05:21,510
logging into his own computer.
No wonder he's pissed off. What else
240
00:05:21,510 --> 00:05:21,520
No wonder he's pissed off. What else
241
00:05:21,520 --> 00:05:23,350
No wonder he's pissed off. What else
does he have to say about this article?
242
00:05:23,350 --> 00:05:23,360
does he have to say about this article?
243
00:05:23,360 --> 00:05:24,710
does he have to say about this article?
>> We are not going to take this laying
244
00:05:24,710 --> 00:05:24,720
>> We are not going to take this laying
245
00:05:24,720 --> 00:05:26,870
>> We are not going to take this laying
down. You want to attack my character?
246
00:05:26,870 --> 00:05:26,880
down. You want to attack my character?
247
00:05:26,880 --> 00:05:29,670
down. You want to attack my character?
Come at me. Bring it on. Yeah, that's
248
00:05:29,670 --> 00:05:29,680
Come at me. Bring it on. Yeah, that's
249
00:05:29,680 --> 00:05:31,670
Come at me. Bring it on. Yeah, that's
right. He's not going to take this
250
00:05:31,670 --> 00:05:31,680
right. He's not going to take this
251
00:05:31,680 --> 00:05:33,590
right. He's not going to take this
laying down because then they'd have to
252
00:05:33,590 --> 00:05:33,600
laying down because then they'd have to
253
00:05:33,600 --> 00:05:38,230
laying down because then they'd have to
get the SWAT team in to wake him up. But
254
00:05:38,230 --> 00:05:38,240
get the SWAT team in to wake him up. But
255
00:05:38,240 --> 00:05:39,990
get the SWAT team in to wake him up. But
now, as a part of his lawsuit, Cash
256
00:05:39,990 --> 00:05:40,000
now, as a part of his lawsuit, Cash
257
00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:42,150
now, as a part of his lawsuit, Cash
argues that under his leadership, the
258
00:05:42,150 --> 00:05:42,160
argues that under his leadership, the
259
00:05:42,160 --> 00:05:44,230
argues that under his leadership, the
FBI has achieved historic law
260
00:05:44,230 --> 00:05:44,240
FBI has achieved historic law
261
00:05:44,240 --> 00:05:46,870
FBI has achieved historic law
enforcement results, which even if that
262
00:05:46,870 --> 00:05:46,880
enforcement results, which even if that
263
00:05:46,880 --> 00:05:49,749
enforcement results, which even if that
were true, doesn't prove anything.
264
00:05:49,749 --> 00:05:49,759
were true, doesn't prove anything.
265
00:05:49,759 --> 00:05:51,510
were true, doesn't prove anything.
People can accomplish incredible things
266
00:05:51,510 --> 00:05:51,520
People can accomplish incredible things
267
00:05:51,520 --> 00:05:54,230
People can accomplish incredible things
when they're drunk. If Tiger Woods can
268
00:05:54,230 --> 00:05:54,240
when they're drunk. If Tiger Woods can
269
00:05:54,240 --> 00:05:56,150
when they're drunk. If Tiger Woods can
successfully park in a ditch, then Cash
270
00:05:56,150 --> 00:05:56,160
successfully park in a ditch, then Cash
271
00:05:56,160 --> 00:05:58,310
successfully park in a ditch, then Cash
Patel can be like, "Hey, go arrest some
272
00:05:58,310 --> 00:05:58,320
Patel can be like, "Hey, go arrest some
273
00:05:58,320 --> 00:06:00,550
Patel can be like, "Hey, go arrest some
bad guys." Hell, I'm a little drunk
274
00:06:00,550 --> 00:06:00,560
bad guys." Hell, I'm a little drunk
275
00:06:00,560 --> 00:06:01,990
bad guys." Hell, I'm a little drunk
right now, and I think we all agree
276
00:06:01,990 --> 00:06:02,000
right now, and I think we all agree
277
00:06:02,000 --> 00:06:04,950
right now, and I think we all agree
I'ming NAILING IT.
278
00:06:04,950 --> 00:06:04,960
I'ming NAILING IT.
279
00:06:04,960 --> 00:06:13,670
I'ming NAILING IT.
YOU SEE,
280
00:06:13,670 --> 00:06:13,680
281
00:06:13,680 --> 00:06:16,070
moving on. I'm really glad, really glad
282
00:06:16,070 --> 00:06:16,080
moving on. I'm really glad, really glad
283
00:06:16,080 --> 00:06:17,189
moving on. I'm really glad, really glad
you responded that way. It would have
284
00:06:17,189 --> 00:06:17,199
you responded that way. It would have
285
00:06:17,199 --> 00:06:19,909
you responded that way. It would have
been awkward otherwise.
286
00:06:19,909 --> 00:06:19,919
been awkward otherwise.
287
00:06:19,919 --> 00:06:21,590
been awkward otherwise.
Moving on. Let's say hello to Labor
288
00:06:21,590 --> 00:06:21,600
Moving on. Let's say hello to Labor
289
00:06:21,600 --> 00:06:24,230
Moving on. Let's say hello to Labor
Secretary Lorie Chavez Daramer. She's
290
00:06:24,230 --> 00:06:24,240
Secretary Lorie Chavez Daramer. She's
291
00:06:24,240 --> 00:06:25,990
Secretary Lorie Chavez Daramer. She's
one of the more obscure cabinet
292
00:06:25,990 --> 00:06:26,000
one of the more obscure cabinet
293
00:06:26,000 --> 00:06:28,469
one of the more obscure cabinet
secretaries, but it's never too late to
294
00:06:28,469 --> 00:06:28,479
secretaries, but it's never too late to
295
00:06:28,479 --> 00:06:29,430
secretaries, but it's never too late to
get to know her.
296
00:06:29,430 --> 00:06:29,440
get to know her.
297
00:06:29,440 --> 00:06:32,070
get to know her.
>> Lorie Chavez Daramer has resigned.
298
00:06:32,070 --> 00:06:32,080
>> Lorie Chavez Daramer has resigned.
299
00:06:32,080 --> 00:06:34,790
>> Lorie Chavez Daramer has resigned.
>> Damn it.
300
00:06:34,790 --> 00:06:34,800
>> Damn it.
301
00:06:34,800 --> 00:06:37,749
>> Damn it.
Not you, too, Lori. It's always the ones
302
00:06:37,749 --> 00:06:37,759
Not you, too, Lori. It's always the ones
303
00:06:37,759 --> 00:06:40,070
Not you, too, Lori. It's always the ones
you never heard of.
304
00:06:40,070 --> 00:06:40,080
you never heard of.
305
00:06:40,080 --> 00:06:41,909
you never heard of.
But that's right. Secretary Lori has
306
00:06:41,909 --> 00:06:41,919
But that's right. Secretary Lori has
307
00:06:41,919 --> 00:06:43,430
But that's right. Secretary Lori has
resigned over a scandal. And if you're
308
00:06:43,430 --> 00:06:43,440
resigned over a scandal. And if you're
309
00:06:43,440 --> 00:06:45,430
resigned over a scandal. And if you're
wondering which scandal, the answer is
310
00:06:45,430 --> 00:06:45,440
wondering which scandal, the answer is
311
00:06:45,440 --> 00:06:47,990
wondering which scandal, the answer is
yes. Her departure comes amid multiple
312
00:06:47,990 --> 00:06:48,000
yes. Her departure comes amid multiple
313
00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:50,150
yes. Her departure comes amid multiple
scandals and investigations, including
314
00:06:50,150 --> 00:06:50,160
scandals and investigations, including
315
00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:52,390
scandals and investigations, including
drinking on the job, allegedly taking
316
00:06:52,390 --> 00:06:52,400
drinking on the job, allegedly taking
317
00:06:52,400 --> 00:06:54,710
drinking on the job, allegedly taking
staff to a strip club, and using
318
00:06:54,710 --> 00:06:54,720
staff to a strip club, and using
319
00:06:54,720 --> 00:06:57,189
staff to a strip club, and using
department resources for personal trips.
320
00:06:57,189 --> 00:06:57,199
department resources for personal trips.
321
00:06:57,199 --> 00:06:59,510
department resources for personal trips.
Chavez Dreamer is also accused of having
322
00:06:59,510 --> 00:06:59,520
Chavez Dreamer is also accused of having
323
00:06:59,520 --> 00:07:01,510
Chavez Dreamer is also accused of having
an affair with a member of her security
324
00:07:01,510 --> 00:07:01,520
an affair with a member of her security
325
00:07:01,520 --> 00:07:02,309
an affair with a member of her security
team.
326
00:07:02,309 --> 00:07:02,319
team.
327
00:07:02,319 --> 00:07:04,629
team.
>> What the hell
328
00:07:04,629 --> 00:07:04,639
>> What the hell
329
00:07:04,639 --> 00:07:06,150
>> What the hell
was she going through her workplace
330
00:07:06,150 --> 00:07:06,160
was she going through her workplace
331
00:07:06,160 --> 00:07:07,830
was she going through her workplace
anti-harassment training? Like,
332
00:07:07,830 --> 00:07:07,840
anti-harassment training? Like,
333
00:07:07,840 --> 00:07:17,430
anti-harassment training? Like,
challenge accepted.
334
00:07:17,430 --> 00:07:17,440
335
00:07:17,440 --> 00:07:20,550
But taking your staff to strip clubs.
336
00:07:20,550 --> 00:07:20,560
But taking your staff to strip clubs.
337
00:07:20,560 --> 00:07:22,469
But taking your staff to strip clubs.
Really? I can't think of a more
338
00:07:22,469 --> 00:07:22,479
Really? I can't think of a more
339
00:07:22,479 --> 00:07:24,230
Really? I can't think of a more
inappropriate place for a government
340
00:07:24,230 --> 00:07:24,240
inappropriate place for a government
341
00:07:24,240 --> 00:07:29,749
inappropriate place for a government
official to be spending their time.
342
00:07:29,749 --> 00:07:29,759
343
00:07:29,759 --> 00:07:31,909
Well, maybe a strip club isn't so bad
344
00:07:31,909 --> 00:07:31,919
Well, maybe a strip club isn't so bad
345
00:07:31,919 --> 00:07:34,870
Well, maybe a strip club isn't so bad
after all. But before you jackals in the
346
00:07:34,870 --> 00:07:34,880
after all. But before you jackals in the
347
00:07:34,880 --> 00:07:37,430
after all. But before you jackals in the
media go tearing Lori down just because
348
00:07:37,430 --> 00:07:37,440
media go tearing Lori down just because
349
00:07:37,440 --> 00:07:39,510
media go tearing Lori down just because
she knows how to party, don't forget
350
00:07:39,510 --> 00:07:39,520
she knows how to party, don't forget
351
00:07:39,520 --> 00:07:41,350
she knows how to party, don't forget
this woman has a family. have a little
352
00:07:41,350 --> 00:07:41,360
this woman has a family. have a little
353
00:07:41,360 --> 00:07:43,270
this woman has a family. have a little
respect for what her husband is going
354
00:07:43,270 --> 00:07:43,280
respect for what her husband is going
355
00:07:43,280 --> 00:07:44,070
respect for what her husband is going
through.
356
00:07:44,070 --> 00:07:44,080
through.
357
00:07:44,080 --> 00:07:46,390
through.
>> Her husband also in hot water. He was
358
00:07:46,390 --> 00:07:46,400
>> Her husband also in hot water. He was
359
00:07:46,400 --> 00:07:47,589
>> Her husband also in hot water. He was
banned from the department's
360
00:07:47,589 --> 00:07:47,599
banned from the department's
361
00:07:47,599 --> 00:07:50,070
banned from the department's
headquarters earlier this year after two
362
00:07:50,070 --> 00:07:50,080
headquarters earlier this year after two
363
00:07:50,080 --> 00:07:53,589
headquarters earlier this year after two
women accused him of sexual misconduct.
364
00:07:53,589 --> 00:07:53,599
women accused him of sexual misconduct.
365
00:07:53,599 --> 00:07:55,350
women accused him of sexual misconduct.
>> What?
366
00:07:55,350 --> 00:07:55,360
>> What?
367
00:07:55,360 --> 00:07:57,749
>> What?
My boy was banned from his wife's office
368
00:07:57,749 --> 00:07:57,759
My boy was banned from his wife's office
369
00:07:57,759 --> 00:08:00,309
My boy was banned from his wife's office
for sexual harassment.
370
00:08:00,309 --> 00:08:00,319
for sexual harassment.
371
00:08:00,319 --> 00:08:01,749
for sexual harassment.
I've heard of men cheating while their
372
00:08:01,749 --> 00:08:01,759
I've heard of men cheating while their
373
00:08:01,759 --> 00:08:03,430
I've heard of men cheating while their
wives were at work. I've never heard of
374
00:08:03,430 --> 00:08:03,440
wives were at work. I've never heard of
375
00:08:03,440 --> 00:08:07,830
wives were at work. I've never heard of
a man cheating at his wife's work.
376
00:08:07,830 --> 00:08:07,840
a man cheating at his wife's work.
377
00:08:07,840 --> 00:08:09,909
a man cheating at his wife's work.
This guy's unreal. And to do it all with
378
00:08:09,909 --> 00:08:09,919
This guy's unreal. And to do it all with
379
00:08:09,919 --> 00:08:12,150
This guy's unreal. And to do it all with
resting I'm gonna sniff your neck face.
380
00:08:12,150 --> 00:08:12,160
resting I'm gonna sniff your neck face.
381
00:08:12,160 --> 00:08:17,189
resting I'm gonna sniff your neck face.
That's so impressive.
382
00:08:17,189 --> 00:08:17,199
383
00:08:17,199 --> 00:08:20,390
Well, this cannot get worse for Lori. I
384
00:08:20,390 --> 00:08:20,400
Well, this cannot get worse for Lori. I
385
00:08:20,400 --> 00:08:22,070
Well, this cannot get worse for Lori. I
can't imagine anything more embarrassing
386
00:08:22,070 --> 00:08:22,080
can't imagine anything more embarrassing
387
00:08:22,080 --> 00:08:24,150
can't imagine anything more embarrassing
than your staff being sexually harassed
388
00:08:24,150 --> 00:08:24,160
than your staff being sexually harassed
389
00:08:24,160 --> 00:08:26,469
than your staff being sexually harassed
at work by your husband.
390
00:08:26,469 --> 00:08:26,479
at work by your husband.
391
00:08:26,479 --> 00:08:28,309
at work by your husband.
>> The New York Times reports that the
392
00:08:28,309 --> 00:08:28,319
>> The New York Times reports that the
393
00:08:28,319 --> 00:08:31,029
>> The New York Times reports that the
secretary's husband quote exchanged text
394
00:08:31,029 --> 00:08:31,039
secretary's husband quote exchanged text
395
00:08:31,039 --> 00:08:33,670
secretary's husband quote exchanged text
messages with young female staff members
396
00:08:33,670 --> 00:08:33,680
messages with young female staff members
397
00:08:33,680 --> 00:08:35,190
messages with young female staff members
as did her father.
398
00:08:35,190 --> 00:08:35,200
as did her father.
399
00:08:35,200 --> 00:08:38,469
as did her father.
>> HOLY [\h__\h]
400
00:08:38,469 --> 00:08:38,479
>> HOLY [\h__\h]
401
00:08:38,479 --> 00:08:40,790
>> HOLY [\h__\h]
HER DAD.
402
00:08:40,790 --> 00:08:40,800
HER DAD.
403
00:08:40,800 --> 00:08:43,029
HER DAD.
They're saying her dad is trying to tag
404
00:08:43,029 --> 00:08:43,039
They're saying her dad is trying to tag
405
00:08:43,039 --> 00:08:45,269
They're saying her dad is trying to tag
team his daughter's staff with his
406
00:08:45,269 --> 00:08:45,279
team his daughter's staff with his
407
00:08:45,279 --> 00:08:47,430
team his daughter's staff with his
son-in-law.
408
00:08:47,430 --> 00:08:47,440
son-in-law.
409
00:08:47,440 --> 00:08:52,230
son-in-law.
>> Well, no wonder she's drinking at work.
410
00:08:52,230 --> 00:08:52,240
411
00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:56,790
You don't know.
412
00:08:56,790 --> 00:08:56,800
413
00:08:56,800 --> 00:08:59,990
>> This must be a misunderstanding.
414
00:08:59,990 --> 00:09:00,000
>> This must be a misunderstanding.
415
00:09:00,000 --> 00:09:02,949
>> This must be a misunderstanding.
In an April 2025 exchange, Richard
416
00:09:02,949 --> 00:09:02,959
In an April 2025 exchange, Richard
417
00:09:02,959 --> 00:09:05,030
In an April 2025 exchange, Richard
Chavez wrote to a young female staff
418
00:09:05,030 --> 00:09:05,040
Chavez wrote to a young female staff
419
00:09:05,040 --> 00:09:07,750
Chavez wrote to a young female staff
member, quote, "Hearing you are in town,
420
00:09:07,750 --> 00:09:07,760
member, quote, "Hearing you are in town,
421
00:09:07,760 --> 00:09:09,750
member, quote, "Hearing you are in town,
wishing you would let me know, I could
422
00:09:09,750 --> 00:09:09,760
wishing you would let me know, I could
423
00:09:09,760 --> 00:09:11,990
wishing you would let me know, I could
have made some excuses to get out and
424
00:09:11,990 --> 00:09:12,000
have made some excuses to get out and
425
00:09:12,000 --> 00:09:14,230
have made some excuses to get out and
show you around. Please keep this
426
00:09:14,230 --> 00:09:14,240
show you around. Please keep this
427
00:09:14,240 --> 00:09:17,190
show you around. Please keep this
private."
428
00:09:17,190 --> 00:09:17,200
private."
429
00:09:17,200 --> 00:09:19,110
private."
>> Don't worry, buddy. No one's ever going
430
00:09:19,110 --> 00:09:19,120
>> Don't worry, buddy. No one's ever going
431
00:09:19,120 --> 00:09:22,070
>> Don't worry, buddy. No one's ever going
to see this.
432
00:09:22,070 --> 00:09:22,080
to see this.
433
00:09:22,080 --> 00:09:23,990
to see this.
Lory's probably like, "God damn it, Dad.
434
00:09:23,990 --> 00:09:24,000
Lory's probably like, "God damn it, Dad.
435
00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:28,070
Lory's probably like, "God damn it, Dad.
Now you know how to use your phone.
436
00:09:28,070 --> 00:09:28,080
Now you know how to use your phone.
437
00:09:28,080 --> 00:09:29,910
Now you know how to use your phone.
This is creepy and disgusting and also
438
00:09:29,910 --> 00:09:29,920
This is creepy and disgusting and also
439
00:09:29,920 --> 00:09:32,630
This is creepy and disgusting and also
such a classic parent text. Even when
440
00:09:32,630 --> 00:09:32,640
such a classic parent text. Even when
441
00:09:32,640 --> 00:09:33,910
such a classic parent text. Even when
they're being perverts, they're like,
442
00:09:33,910 --> 00:09:33,920
they're being perverts, they're like,
443
00:09:33,920 --> 00:09:35,110
they're being perverts, they're like,
"Well, it would have been nice for you
444
00:09:35,110 --> 00:09:35,120
"Well, it would have been nice for you
445
00:09:35,120 --> 00:09:36,550
"Well, it would have been nice for you
to give me a heads up you're coming to
446
00:09:36,550 --> 00:09:36,560
to give me a heads up you're coming to
447
00:09:36,560 --> 00:09:38,470
to give me a heads up you're coming to
town."
448
00:09:38,470 --> 00:09:38,480
town."
449
00:09:38,480 --> 00:09:40,470
town."
But this is crazy. There's no way Lori
450
00:09:40,470 --> 00:09:40,480
But this is crazy. There's no way Lori
451
00:09:40,480 --> 00:09:42,870
But this is crazy. There's no way Lori
knew about her husband and her dad.
452
00:09:42,870 --> 00:09:42,880
knew about her husband and her dad.
453
00:09:42,880 --> 00:09:47,750
knew about her husband and her dad.
Right. Right.
454
00:09:47,750 --> 00:09:47,760
455
00:09:47,760 --> 00:09:50,070
Some of the young women were instructed
456
00:09:50,070 --> 00:09:50,080
Some of the young women were instructed
457
00:09:50,080 --> 00:09:53,190
Some of the young women were instructed
by the labor secretary herself to quote,
458
00:09:53,190 --> 00:09:53,200
by the labor secretary herself to quote,
459
00:09:53,200 --> 00:09:55,590
by the labor secretary herself to quote,
"Pay attention to her husband and
460
00:09:55,590 --> 00:09:55,600
"Pay attention to her husband and
461
00:09:55,600 --> 00:09:59,750
"Pay attention to her husband and
father. Wow. Wow. The labor secretary
462
00:09:59,750 --> 00:09:59,760
father. Wow. Wow. The labor secretary
463
00:09:59,760 --> 00:10:01,829
father. Wow. Wow. The labor secretary
heard Cash Patel had a scandal and she's
464
00:10:01,829 --> 00:10:01,839
heard Cash Patel had a scandal and she's
465
00:10:01,839 --> 00:10:04,710
heard Cash Patel had a scandal and she's
like, "Hold my beer
466
00:10:04,710 --> 00:10:04,720
like, "Hold my beer
467
00:10:04,720 --> 00:10:07,110
like, "Hold my beer
and my wine and my stack of dollar bills
468
00:10:07,110 --> 00:10:07,120
and my wine and my stack of dollar bills
469
00:10:07,120 --> 00:10:13,990
and my wine and my stack of dollar bills
and my dad's penis."
470
00:10:13,990 --> 00:10:14,000
471
00:10:14,000 --> 00:10:17,110
Now, look, I'm as surprised as you are
472
00:10:17,110 --> 00:10:17,120
Now, look, I'm as surprised as you are
473
00:10:17,120 --> 00:10:19,030
Now, look, I'm as surprised as you are
that an upstanding businessman like
474
00:10:19,030 --> 00:10:19,040
that an upstanding businessman like
475
00:10:19,040 --> 00:10:21,030
that an upstanding businessman like
Donald Trump only seems to hire corrupt
476
00:10:21,030 --> 00:10:21,040
Donald Trump only seems to hire corrupt
477
00:10:21,040 --> 00:10:23,910
Donald Trump only seems to hire corrupt
perverts and messy drunks.
478
00:10:23,910 --> 00:10:23,920
perverts and messy drunks.
479
00:10:23,920 --> 00:10:26,230
perverts and messy drunks.
But until more Americans come to realize
480
00:10:26,230 --> 00:10:26,240
But until more Americans come to realize
481
00:10:26,240 --> 00:10:27,670
But until more Americans come to realize
that Donald Trump is the human
482
00:10:27,670 --> 00:10:27,680
that Donald Trump is the human
483
00:10:27,680 --> 00:10:30,949
that Donald Trump is the human
equivalent of the poodle room,
484
00:10:30,949 --> 00:10:30,959
equivalent of the poodle room,
485
00:10:30,959 --> 00:10:32,389
equivalent of the poodle room,
we're going to be stuck with this type
486
00:10:32,389 --> 00:10:32,399
we're going to be stuck with this type
487
00:10:32,399 --> 00:10:35,110
we're going to be stuck with this type
of representation. And until then, the
488
00:10:35,110 --> 00:10:35,120
of representation. And until then, the
489
00:10:35,120 --> 00:10:36,710
of representation. And until then, the
Department of Labor is going to need to
490
00:10:36,710 --> 00:10:36,720
Department of Labor is going to need to
491
00:10:36,720 --> 00:10:38,550
Department of Labor is going to need to
make some big updates to their HR
492
00:10:38,550 --> 00:10:38,560
make some big updates to their HR
493
00:10:38,560 --> 00:10:41,509
make some big updates to their HR
training video, which luckily we have an
494
00:10:41,509 --> 00:10:41,519
training video, which luckily we have an
495
00:10:41,519 --> 00:10:44,550
training video, which luckily we have an
advanced copy of. If you've reached this
496
00:10:44,550 --> 00:10:44,560
advanced copy of. If you've reached this
497
00:10:44,560 --> 00:10:46,069
advanced copy of. If you've reached this
part of the video, then you've completed
498
00:10:46,069 --> 00:10:46,079
part of the video, then you've completed
499
00:10:46,079 --> 00:10:48,230
part of the video, then you've completed
HR training. Congratulations, new
500
00:10:48,230 --> 00:10:48,240
HR training. Congratulations, new
501
00:10:48,240 --> 00:10:50,150
HR training. Congratulations, new
cabinet secretary.
502
00:10:50,150 --> 00:10:50,160
cabinet secretary.
503
00:10:50,160 --> 00:10:52,870
cabinet secretary.
And now it's time, thanks to recent
504
00:10:52,870 --> 00:10:52,880
And now it's time, thanks to recent
505
00:10:52,880 --> 00:10:55,590
And now it's time, thanks to recent
stupiding events, to bring in your
506
00:10:55,590 --> 00:10:55,600
stupiding events, to bring in your
507
00:10:55,600 --> 00:10:59,670
stupiding events, to bring in your
husband.
508
00:10:59,670 --> 00:10:59,680
509
00:10:59,680 --> 00:11:02,710
Let's start with rule number one. No one
510
00:11:02,710 --> 00:11:02,720
Let's start with rule number one. No one
511
00:11:02,720 --> 00:11:04,949
Let's start with rule number one. No one
wants to you. No one's going to that
512
00:11:04,949 --> 00:11:04,959
wants to you. No one's going to that
513
00:11:04,959 --> 00:11:06,710
wants to you. No one's going to that
cabinet job thinking, "Oh, you know
514
00:11:06,710 --> 00:11:06,720
cabinet job thinking, "Oh, you know
515
00:11:06,720 --> 00:11:08,470
cabinet job thinking, "Oh, you know
what? I hope I see my boss's husband's
516
00:11:08,470 --> 00:11:08,480
what? I hope I see my boss's husband's
517
00:11:08,480 --> 00:11:10,550
what? I hope I see my boss's husband's
gross dick today." If you can't help
518
00:11:10,550 --> 00:11:10,560
gross dick today." If you can't help
519
00:11:10,560 --> 00:11:12,630
gross dick today." If you can't help
yourself, there are over 20,000
520
00:11:12,630 --> 00:11:12,640
yourself, there are over 20,000
521
00:11:12,640 --> 00:11:15,110
yourself, there are over 20,000
bathrooms in federal buildings. Go jack
522
00:11:15,110 --> 00:11:15,120
bathrooms in federal buildings. Go jack
523
00:11:15,120 --> 00:11:18,230
bathrooms in federal buildings. Go jack
off in the mint, you psycho. Okay, now
524
00:11:18,230 --> 00:11:18,240
off in the mint, you psycho. Okay, now
525
00:11:18,240 --> 00:11:22,790
off in the mint, you psycho. Okay, now
send in a father.
526
00:11:22,790 --> 00:11:22,800
527
00:11:22,800 --> 00:11:27,269
Okay, fathers. Rule number one, no one
528
00:11:27,269 --> 00:11:27,279
Okay, fathers. Rule number one, no one
529
00:11:27,279 --> 00:11:29,910
Okay, fathers. Rule number one, no one
wants to you. How much porn do you have
530
00:11:29,910 --> 00:11:29,920
wants to you. How much porn do you have
531
00:11:29,920 --> 00:11:31,269
wants to you. How much porn do you have
to watch to think, "Oh yeah, I have a
532
00:11:31,269 --> 00:11:31,279
to watch to think, "Oh yeah, I have a
533
00:11:31,279 --> 00:11:32,949
to watch to think, "Oh yeah, I have a
real shot of my daughter's co-workers.
534
00:11:32,949 --> 00:11:32,959
real shot of my daughter's co-workers.
535
00:11:32,959 --> 00:11:34,230
real shot of my daughter's co-workers.
Maybe one of them will get stuck in the
536
00:11:34,230 --> 00:11:34,240
Maybe one of them will get stuck in the
537
00:11:34,240 --> 00:11:35,910
Maybe one of them will get stuck in the
coffee machine and need me to bang them
538
00:11:35,910 --> 00:11:35,920
coffee machine and need me to bang them
539
00:11:35,920 --> 00:11:38,069
coffee machine and need me to bang them
out of it." Let's do some role play. I'm
540
00:11:38,069 --> 00:11:38,079
out of it." Let's do some role play. I'm
541
00:11:38,079 --> 00:11:41,590
out of it." Let's do some role play. I'm
you at your daughter's office. Hi, nice
542
00:11:41,590 --> 00:11:41,600
you at your daughter's office. Hi, nice
543
00:11:41,600 --> 00:11:44,069
you at your daughter's office. Hi, nice
to meet you. Wrong. You should not have
544
00:11:44,069 --> 00:11:44,079
to meet you. Wrong. You should not have
545
00:11:44,079 --> 00:11:45,509
to meet you. Wrong. You should not have
even been there in the first place. Why
546
00:11:45,509 --> 00:11:45,519
even been there in the first place. Why
547
00:11:45,519 --> 00:11:47,110
even been there in the first place. Why
are you at your daughter's office? Last
548
00:11:47,110 --> 00:11:47,120
are you at your daughter's office? Last
549
00:11:47,120 --> 00:11:48,310
are you at your daughter's office? Last
time I checked, there's no take your
550
00:11:48,310 --> 00:11:48,320
time I checked, there's no take your
551
00:11:48,320 --> 00:11:51,190
time I checked, there's no take your
horny father to work day. If you have to
552
00:11:51,190 --> 00:11:51,200
horny father to work day. If you have to
553
00:11:51,200 --> 00:11:53,670
horny father to work day. If you have to
off, do it at the mint with your
554
00:11:53,670 --> 00:11:53,680
off, do it at the mint with your
555
00:11:53,680 --> 00:11:56,710
off, do it at the mint with your
son-in-law. Now, please send in your
556
00:11:56,710 --> 00:11:56,720
son-in-law. Now, please send in your
557
00:11:56,720 --> 00:12:00,949
son-in-law. Now, please send in your
pets.
558
00:12:00,949 --> 00:12:00,959
559
00:12:00,959 --> 00:12:04,230
Who's a good boy? You're a good boy, but
560
00:12:04,230 --> 00:12:04,240
Who's a good boy? You're a good boy, but
561
00:12:04,240 --> 00:12:08,120
Who's a good boy? You're a good boy, but
no one wants to you.
48480
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