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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,871 --> 00:00:05,362 The following program 2 00:00:05,472 --> 00:00:11,036 is brought to you in living color on NBC. 3 00:00:29,763 --> 00:00:31,007 Well, now, Hoss, 4 00:00:31,031 --> 00:00:33,243 what would be wrong with covering this splendid structure 5 00:00:33,267 --> 00:00:34,826 with a lovely coat of green, may I ask? 6 00:00:34,935 --> 00:00:36,279 That'd sure be something to see, 7 00:00:36,303 --> 00:00:37,828 all right, Jester... A green barn. 8 00:00:37,938 --> 00:00:39,065 Well, then, if we agree, 9 00:00:39,172 --> 00:00:40,650 why don't I take all of this hideous red stuff 10 00:00:40,674 --> 00:00:42,006 back to the store and exchange it? 11 00:00:42,109 --> 00:00:44,101 Well, for two very good reasons: 12 00:00:44,211 --> 00:00:46,703 Number one, I don't want to scare the animals half to death, 13 00:00:46,813 --> 00:00:48,941 and number two, I'm halfway finished now. 14 00:00:51,218 --> 00:00:52,818 Well, it goes against me better judgment, 15 00:00:52,886 --> 00:00:54,218 but I'll see it through. 16 00:00:56,056 --> 00:00:58,150 It's mighty fine of you, Hoss, 17 00:00:58,258 --> 00:00:59,938 to let me earn a few extra dollars this way 18 00:01:00,027 --> 00:01:01,086 for my little Jenny. 19 00:01:01,194 --> 00:01:03,288 Well, it'll help pay 20 00:01:03,397 --> 00:01:05,041 some of the doctor's bills, anyhow, won't it? 21 00:01:05,065 --> 00:01:07,967 Aye, it sure will. 22 00:01:08,068 --> 00:01:10,037 You're a saint, Hoss; a true saint. 23 00:01:12,205 --> 00:01:13,730 What with your assistance, 24 00:01:13,840 --> 00:01:15,399 plus delivering for the store 25 00:01:15,509 --> 00:01:16,568 and handling the mail, 26 00:01:16,677 --> 00:01:18,373 I can just about make ends meet. 27 00:01:18,478 --> 00:01:20,970 Speaking of the mail, have you delivered it to Pa yet? 28 00:01:21,081 --> 00:01:22,674 Oh, no, no! I forgot it again. 29 00:01:22,783 --> 00:01:24,160 It's in me back pocket. Oh, I was... 30 00:01:24,184 --> 00:01:25,228 Well, dad-burnit, you'd better get it in there. 31 00:01:25,252 --> 00:01:26,379 He's gonna have a hissy. 32 00:01:26,486 --> 00:01:27,385 - This is the third time this week. - Yeah, I know. 33 00:01:27,487 --> 00:01:28,682 - And on the way... - Yeah? 34 00:01:28,789 --> 00:01:29,999 Go through the kitchen... Ol' Hop Sing's got 35 00:01:30,023 --> 00:01:31,668 a great big apple cobbler in there for Jenny. 36 00:01:31,692 --> 00:01:32,591 Oh, thank you. Thank you, Hoss! 37 00:01:32,693 --> 00:01:33,888 - Here. Here you are. - Yeah. 38 00:02:04,157 --> 00:02:05,318 Ho! 39 00:02:07,461 --> 00:02:08,622 Oh. 40 00:02:08,729 --> 00:02:09,729 Well, howdy! 41 00:02:12,332 --> 00:02:14,358 Here. 42 00:02:14,468 --> 00:02:15,367 Here we go, Annie. 43 00:02:15,469 --> 00:02:17,199 - Thanks. Ooh. - There we are. 44 00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:21,809 Whoo-whee! 45 00:02:21,908 --> 00:02:25,310 I sure do like this place, don't you, boys? 46 00:02:25,412 --> 00:02:26,778 We sure do, Annie. 47 00:02:26,880 --> 00:02:28,678 - Howdy. - Howdy. 48 00:02:28,782 --> 00:02:30,410 Uh, anything we can do for you? 49 00:02:30,517 --> 00:02:32,543 Well, I'm lookin' for Hoss Cartwright. 50 00:02:32,653 --> 00:02:34,952 Oh. Is he expecting you? 51 00:02:35,055 --> 00:02:37,388 Oh, he sure is expecting me. 52 00:02:37,491 --> 00:02:39,016 I'm Annie Slocum. 53 00:02:39,126 --> 00:02:40,685 How d'you do? 54 00:02:40,794 --> 00:02:42,057 And these are my brothers, 55 00:02:42,162 --> 00:02:43,323 Brother Jed and Brother Ned. 56 00:02:43,430 --> 00:02:44,329 - Oh. - Howdy. 57 00:02:44,431 --> 00:02:45,441 - Mr. Slocum. - How are you? 58 00:02:45,465 --> 00:02:47,457 It's a marriage. 59 00:02:49,136 --> 00:02:50,399 Uh, I'm Ben Cartwright. 60 00:02:50,504 --> 00:02:51,504 This is my son Joseph. 61 00:02:51,605 --> 00:02:52,645 Uh, where is your brother? 62 00:02:52,739 --> 00:02:53,638 Uh, last time I saw him, 63 00:02:53,740 --> 00:02:55,140 - he was painting the barn. - Oh. 64 00:02:57,544 --> 00:02:58,978 Oh-oh, there... uh, Hoss! 65 00:02:59,079 --> 00:03:00,707 There you are! 66 00:03:01,815 --> 00:03:04,751 Ooh, whoo-whee. 67 00:03:04,851 --> 00:03:07,320 Handsome as handsome, ain't he, boys? 68 00:03:07,421 --> 00:03:09,720 He don't look too bad, Annie. 69 00:03:09,823 --> 00:03:12,691 He's even better-looking in person. 70 00:03:12,793 --> 00:03:14,659 Uh, Hoss, these people have come to see you. 71 00:03:16,430 --> 00:03:18,990 I'm Annie, Sugarplum. 72 00:03:21,001 --> 00:03:24,028 These here's my brothers, Jed and Ned. 73 00:03:24,137 --> 00:03:25,969 - Well, say howdy, boys. - Howdy. 74 00:03:26,073 --> 00:03:29,100 Howdy. Howdy. 75 00:03:29,209 --> 00:03:30,268 Howdy. 76 00:03:30,377 --> 00:03:33,142 Uh... is there something I can do for you? 77 00:03:34,681 --> 00:03:36,547 Something he can do for you? 78 00:03:36,650 --> 00:03:39,814 He's a real funny galoot, ain't he, Annie? 79 00:03:39,920 --> 00:03:41,889 Well, sure is. 80 00:03:41,988 --> 00:03:44,184 Seein' how's I come all the way from Kentuck 81 00:03:44,291 --> 00:03:45,884 just to get hitched to him. 82 00:03:47,260 --> 00:03:49,320 Well, I'm right in the middle of paintin'... 83 00:03:49,429 --> 00:03:50,488 Hitched?! 84 00:05:08,308 --> 00:05:10,353 Well, I think might be a good idea if we just sat down 85 00:05:10,377 --> 00:05:12,039 and made ourselves comfortable. 86 00:05:12,145 --> 00:05:14,580 - Ah. Why, thank you. - We'll talk this over in... 87 00:05:14,681 --> 00:05:16,673 - Boy! - Talk this over in a, uh... 88 00:05:25,625 --> 00:05:29,619 Uh, would mind taking your feet of the table, please? 89 00:05:29,729 --> 00:05:30,788 Thank you. 90 00:05:30,897 --> 00:05:32,331 I... 91 00:05:32,432 --> 00:05:33,776 Would you like a cold drink of some sort? 92 00:05:33,800 --> 00:05:35,044 - Oh, that'd taste right fine. - Yeah. - 93 00:05:35,068 --> 00:05:36,161 Thank you. 94 00:05:36,269 --> 00:05:37,413 Joseph, would you get the lemonade, please? 95 00:05:37,437 --> 00:05:38,447 - Yes, sir. - I'll get it. -Never mind. 96 00:05:38,471 --> 00:05:39,370 You just stay right where you are. 97 00:05:39,472 --> 00:05:40,371 Joseph will get the lemonade. 98 00:05:40,473 --> 00:05:42,101 Whoo-whee! 99 00:05:43,510 --> 00:05:46,776 My, this is a purty house. 100 00:05:46,880 --> 00:05:48,746 Aw, Sugarplum, 101 00:05:48,849 --> 00:05:51,580 is this the honeymoon nest you wrote me about? 102 00:05:51,685 --> 00:05:53,711 - "Sugarplum"? - Now look here, ma'am, 103 00:05:53,820 --> 00:05:55,620 I ain't never wrote you nothin' about nothin'! 104 00:05:55,722 --> 00:05:57,002 There's been some sort of mistake 105 00:05:57,057 --> 00:05:57,956 somewhere along the line. 106 00:05:58,058 --> 00:05:59,822 Well, of course you wrote her. 107 00:05:59,926 --> 00:06:01,690 Sis saved all them letters. 108 00:06:03,063 --> 00:06:04,663 Oh, uh, you, uh... you have some letters? 109 00:06:04,698 --> 00:06:06,428 I certainly have. 110 00:06:06,533 --> 00:06:08,399 Right there in that traveling bag. 111 00:06:10,637 --> 00:06:12,538 Uh... I'd like to see those, if I may. 112 00:06:12,639 --> 00:06:15,368 Them's private, 'tween Sugarplum and me. 113 00:06:15,475 --> 00:06:17,273 Ain't no stranger gonna see those letters. 114 00:06:17,377 --> 00:06:19,039 This ain't no stranger. 115 00:06:19,145 --> 00:06:20,238 This here's my pa. 116 00:06:20,347 --> 00:06:22,282 'Pears to me like 117 00:06:22,382 --> 00:06:25,546 somebody's trying to weasel their way out of something. 118 00:06:25,652 --> 00:06:29,180 After we spent every last cent we got a-gettin' out here. 119 00:06:29,289 --> 00:06:31,815 I'd say we've been slickered. 120 00:06:31,925 --> 00:06:33,325 Now wait just a minute! 121 00:06:33,426 --> 00:06:35,452 Now, first of all, put those guns down. 122 00:06:35,562 --> 00:06:37,793 Now just, just set 'em down. 123 00:06:37,898 --> 00:06:39,175 - Yeah, all right, boys. - Now, you've been saying 124 00:06:39,199 --> 00:06:40,276 some things here about my son... 125 00:06:40,300 --> 00:06:41,510 Joseph, would you get the lemonade? 126 00:06:41,534 --> 00:06:42,968 Oh. The lemonade. Yeah. 127 00:06:43,069 --> 00:06:44,162 Now, I hope you can back up 128 00:06:44,271 --> 00:06:45,671 those statements you've been making. 129 00:06:47,674 --> 00:06:49,302 Oh, that Hoss. 130 00:06:49,409 --> 00:06:51,401 Oh... 131 00:06:53,213 --> 00:06:55,478 Jester, since when have you been taking to stealing pies? 132 00:06:55,582 --> 00:06:56,880 Oh, no! No, Little Joe. 133 00:06:56,983 --> 00:06:58,713 This is me own apple cobbler 134 00:06:58,818 --> 00:07:00,663 that Hop Sing made for my little Jenny, bless her heart. 135 00:07:00,687 --> 00:07:03,099 Oh... Sure, then why are you 136 00:07:03,123 --> 00:07:04,716 sneakin' around here like a little elf? 137 00:07:04,824 --> 00:07:08,226 Sure, and that would be me own business, Mr. Cartwright. 138 00:07:12,966 --> 00:07:15,026 I told you, 139 00:07:15,135 --> 00:07:18,003 I saw his advertisement in the matrimony paper, 140 00:07:18,104 --> 00:07:19,504 where he asked that any widow 141 00:07:19,606 --> 00:07:21,268 who wanted to get married to write him. 142 00:07:21,374 --> 00:07:23,104 Ma'am, I ain't never advertised in nothing! 143 00:07:23,209 --> 00:07:24,233 Ain't that right, Pa? 144 00:07:24,344 --> 00:07:27,143 Oh, Sugarplum, how could you? 145 00:07:27,247 --> 00:07:30,012 Oh, ma'am... Miss... Miss Annie, don't... 146 00:07:30,116 --> 00:07:31,744 Oh...! 147 00:07:31,851 --> 00:07:33,513 You can see for yourself. 148 00:07:33,620 --> 00:07:35,782 In this one, he asked me to marry him. 149 00:07:35,889 --> 00:07:38,415 A-And in this one, he sent me his picture. 150 00:07:38,525 --> 00:07:40,016 And in this one, 151 00:07:40,126 --> 00:07:41,856 he tells me he's a rich rancher 152 00:07:41,962 --> 00:07:44,932 and the Ponderosa is gonna be our honeymoon cottage. 153 00:07:46,433 --> 00:07:48,993 It sure does look like Hoss with that prize hog of his. 154 00:07:49,102 --> 00:07:49,899 Mmm. 155 00:07:50,003 --> 00:07:52,632 But Pa, that ain't even... 156 00:07:52,739 --> 00:07:54,571 that ain't even my handwritin'. 157 00:07:54,674 --> 00:07:56,199 And I guess you're gonna tell me 158 00:07:56,309 --> 00:07:58,669 that that ain't no picture of you huggin' that hog, neither. 159 00:07:59,746 --> 00:08:01,544 Oh, Sugarplum... 160 00:08:01,648 --> 00:08:05,107 I never thought you could do this to me. 161 00:08:07,253 --> 00:08:09,051 They ain't nobody gonna jilt our little Annie 162 00:08:09,155 --> 00:08:10,248 and get away with it. 163 00:08:10,357 --> 00:08:11,518 Well? 164 00:08:11,624 --> 00:08:13,559 What are we gonna do with this here Blackbeard? 165 00:08:13,660 --> 00:08:15,390 Uh, Blue... Bluebeard. 166 00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:19,023 I don't care what color his whiskers is. 167 00:08:19,132 --> 00:08:21,761 They's gonna be a wedding just like we planned, 168 00:08:21,868 --> 00:08:23,666 or somebody's gonna get... 169 00:08:23,770 --> 00:08:26,205 sued from here to kingdom come. 170 00:08:26,306 --> 00:08:28,901 There's laws against jiltin' helpless widows. 171 00:08:29,009 --> 00:08:30,319 Dad-burnit, wait a minute! 172 00:08:30,343 --> 00:08:31,454 - Somebody get the door. - There'll be a weddin' 173 00:08:31,478 --> 00:08:32,855 - just like we planned. - Answer the door. 174 00:08:32,879 --> 00:08:34,090 Right! You betcha there's gonna be a weddin'... 175 00:08:34,114 --> 00:08:35,391 Somebody answer the door! 176 00:08:35,415 --> 00:08:37,907 - Somebody answer the door! - But... 177 00:08:38,818 --> 00:08:40,912 Excuse me. I'll do it myself. 178 00:08:45,592 --> 00:08:46,592 Oh. Yes, ma'am? 179 00:08:46,626 --> 00:08:48,026 Pardon, monsieur. 180 00:08:48,128 --> 00:08:50,206 Perhaps I was misinformed in the village. 181 00:08:50,230 --> 00:08:52,927 Is this not the chateau of, uh... 182 00:08:55,168 --> 00:08:56,864 Poopsie! 183 00:08:59,873 --> 00:09:01,171 Oh, mon chéri! 184 00:09:03,943 --> 00:09:05,639 Oh! You shut up, you. 185 00:09:05,745 --> 00:09:07,680 Get your paws off my man, 186 00:09:07,781 --> 00:09:08,976 you feather-bound Jezebel! 187 00:09:09,082 --> 00:09:10,675 Insolent peasant. 188 00:09:10,784 --> 00:09:12,685 - How dare you insult Yvette? - Oh! 189 00:09:12,786 --> 00:09:14,015 Go back to your housework. 190 00:09:14,120 --> 00:09:15,418 Housework?! 191 00:09:15,522 --> 00:09:16,421 Ladies! 192 00:09:16,523 --> 00:09:17,422 - Ladies! - I'll show you 193 00:09:17,524 --> 00:09:19,254 some housework, you, you, 194 00:09:19,359 --> 00:09:21,794 you over-painted, pie-faced, 195 00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:24,126 calculatin'... I... get... 196 00:09:24,230 --> 00:09:25,541 La-Ladies, ladies, ladies, ladies. 197 00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:27,009 Ladies, ladies, dignity, 198 00:09:27,033 --> 00:09:29,901 dignity, dignity, dignity, please. 199 00:09:31,805 --> 00:09:33,273 Lemonade? 200 00:09:34,340 --> 00:09:35,340 Oh! 201 00:09:44,951 --> 00:09:47,750 I tell you, Hoss, according to Lawyer Minton, 202 00:09:47,854 --> 00:09:49,880 both those ladies got a good case against you, 203 00:09:49,989 --> 00:09:51,787 if they decide to take you into court. 204 00:09:51,891 --> 00:09:53,450 According to the evidence, 205 00:09:53,560 --> 00:09:55,552 all supports their story. 206 00:09:55,662 --> 00:09:58,131 You know, from the point of view of the legalities 207 00:09:58,231 --> 00:10:00,359 and the standpoint of a jury, 208 00:10:00,467 --> 00:10:03,062 they got a good case against you. 209 00:10:03,169 --> 00:10:06,236 So then... so 'bout the only chance I gots 210 00:10:06,339 --> 00:10:07,739 is to find the yahoo 211 00:10:07,841 --> 00:10:09,452 that really wrote them dad-burned letters, ain't it? 212 00:10:09,476 --> 00:10:11,240 That's about it, Hoss. 213 00:10:11,344 --> 00:10:12,937 Well, I better get inside 214 00:10:13,046 --> 00:10:15,675 and order all this stuff our guests wanted. 215 00:10:15,782 --> 00:10:17,683 - Quite a list, huh? - Yeah. 216 00:10:17,784 --> 00:10:19,624 Uh, look, Pa, maybe I'll see you after a while. 217 00:10:19,652 --> 00:10:21,416 I... I think I'll go over at the saloon 218 00:10:21,521 --> 00:10:23,065 - and get me a bunch of beer. - Oh, no, no. 219 00:10:23,089 --> 00:10:24,400 I know exactly what you're gonna do. 220 00:10:24,424 --> 00:10:25,584 You're going to the Ponderosa 221 00:10:25,658 --> 00:10:26,858 to make sure those two females 222 00:10:26,893 --> 00:10:29,385 don't tear that place apart room by room. 223 00:10:29,496 --> 00:10:32,560 - Now move. - But... Get going. 224 00:10:35,201 --> 00:10:36,794 "Poopsie." 225 00:10:39,038 --> 00:10:41,030 Hi, Bob. 226 00:10:45,745 --> 00:10:47,111 - Hello, Matt. - Howdy, Ben. 227 00:10:47,213 --> 00:10:49,808 What can I do for you? 228 00:10:49,916 --> 00:10:52,545 Hey, Matt... 229 00:10:52,652 --> 00:10:54,587 you wouldn't have any truffles, would you? 230 00:10:54,687 --> 00:10:57,054 Well, Ben, I got all kinds of troubles. 231 00:10:57,157 --> 00:10:59,126 No, not troubles, Matt. 232 00:10:59,225 --> 00:11:01,057 I got plenty of those myself. 233 00:11:01,161 --> 00:11:02,060 No, truffles. 234 00:11:02,162 --> 00:11:03,391 Truffles. 235 00:11:03,496 --> 00:11:04,555 Truffles? 236 00:11:04,664 --> 00:11:06,360 Yeah, they're... something you eat. 237 00:11:06,466 --> 00:11:07,695 Never heard of 'em. 238 00:11:07,800 --> 00:11:08,800 What are they like? 239 00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:13,265 Well, uh, they're... it's a, uh... 240 00:11:13,373 --> 00:11:14,898 Well, never mind. 241 00:11:15,008 --> 00:11:16,840 How 'bout escargot? 242 00:11:16,943 --> 00:11:18,605 Escar-what? 243 00:11:18,711 --> 00:11:20,907 Escargot. 244 00:11:21,014 --> 00:11:22,414 Well, that's French or "snails." 245 00:11:24,751 --> 00:11:25,912 Now I know you're joking. 246 00:11:26,019 --> 00:11:27,544 No, I wish I was. 247 00:11:27,654 --> 00:11:30,590 I got a houseful of people at the Ponderosa, staying... 248 00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:32,022 Yeah, news travels fast, Ben. 249 00:11:32,125 --> 00:11:33,491 Yeah, bad news. 250 00:11:33,593 --> 00:11:35,562 Well, anyway, one of 'em's a young French woman. 251 00:11:35,662 --> 00:11:38,097 These truffles and snails, that was her idea. 252 00:11:38,198 --> 00:11:40,463 Trying to get at a man through his stomach. 253 00:11:42,001 --> 00:11:44,201 You ain't sayin' Hoss is gonna eat snails, are you, Ben? 254 00:11:45,238 --> 00:11:47,230 Well, you can't insult your guests. 255 00:11:47,340 --> 00:11:50,276 Under those conditions, I'd be willing to try. 256 00:11:51,945 --> 00:11:52,945 Yeah, wouldn't blame you. 257 00:11:55,415 --> 00:11:57,293 What am I... oh, listen, I've been meaning to ask you. 258 00:11:57,317 --> 00:11:59,616 Uh, you handle all the mail 259 00:11:59,719 --> 00:12:01,030 that comes through here, don't you? 260 00:12:01,054 --> 00:12:02,454 Most of the time. 261 00:12:02,555 --> 00:12:04,114 Or sometimes Jester does. 262 00:12:04,224 --> 00:12:05,624 Oh. 263 00:12:05,725 --> 00:12:07,455 Uh, well, do you remember 264 00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:10,792 any mail going through here with, uh, these names on it? 265 00:12:10,897 --> 00:12:14,293 Like, uh... Yvette Devereaux, New Orleans? 266 00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:16,699 - No. - No. 267 00:12:16,803 --> 00:12:19,934 How about Annie Slocum, Kentucky? 268 00:12:20,039 --> 00:12:22,008 Don't guess I do. 269 00:12:22,108 --> 00:12:23,986 Wouldn't be likely to forget them names, either. 270 00:12:24,010 --> 00:12:25,706 No, I guess not. 271 00:12:25,812 --> 00:12:28,179 Well, I'll, uh, I'll talk to Jester about 'em. 272 00:12:28,281 --> 00:12:29,977 He didn't come to work today. 273 00:12:30,083 --> 00:12:31,346 Uh, Jenny's sick again. 274 00:12:31,451 --> 00:12:33,477 Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. 275 00:12:33,586 --> 00:12:35,145 I guess Jester'd be at the house, huh? 276 00:12:35,255 --> 00:12:37,656 Well, less'n he's out scrounging himself up 277 00:12:37,757 --> 00:12:39,783 some other work somewheres, on my time. 278 00:12:39,892 --> 00:12:42,225 Thinks I don't know about it, that Killarney road bandit. 279 00:12:44,297 --> 00:12:45,731 Well, good luck to Hoss, 280 00:12:45,832 --> 00:12:47,460 and may the best gal win. 281 00:12:47,567 --> 00:12:49,365 Oh, don't say that too loudly. 282 00:12:50,837 --> 00:12:52,135 Hey, listen, uh... 283 00:12:52,238 --> 00:12:54,002 you, uh, make out the rest of that list, 284 00:12:54,107 --> 00:12:55,973 all except them truffles and snails. 285 00:12:56,075 --> 00:12:57,907 I'll be back in a little while. 286 00:12:58,011 --> 00:12:59,011 All right, Ben. 287 00:13:02,815 --> 00:13:04,249 Snails. 288 00:13:14,260 --> 00:13:15,571 - I - don't want any more 289 00:13:15,595 --> 00:13:17,325 of your smelly old medicine! 290 00:13:17,430 --> 00:13:19,956 Jenny, darling, please. 291 00:13:20,066 --> 00:13:22,194 The doctor only wants to help you! 292 00:13:22,302 --> 00:13:24,771 Don't want no smelly old doctor! 293 00:13:24,871 --> 00:13:26,237 Send him away! 294 00:13:26,339 --> 00:13:28,535 Oh, now, honey, look... 295 00:13:28,641 --> 00:13:31,338 don't make me break the door down. 296 00:13:36,783 --> 00:13:38,115 She's having an attack, Jester. 297 00:13:38,217 --> 00:13:40,049 I have to get to her pretty soon. 298 00:13:40,153 --> 00:13:42,713 I don't want no smelly old doctor! 299 00:13:42,822 --> 00:13:44,051 Send him away! 300 00:13:55,034 --> 00:13:56,627 Well, Jester, I guess that's it. 301 00:13:56,736 --> 00:13:58,227 No use hanging around, 302 00:13:58,338 --> 00:14:00,000 since Jenny's not gonna open that door. 303 00:14:00,106 --> 00:14:01,438 I'll be going now. 304 00:14:01,541 --> 00:14:03,533 Yes, Doctor. 305 00:14:05,511 --> 00:14:06,410 Good-bye! 306 00:14:06,512 --> 00:14:09,448 And a good-bye to you, Doctor. 307 00:14:20,493 --> 00:14:21,586 Is he gone? 308 00:14:21,694 --> 00:14:24,625 - Well... - Let me go! 309 00:14:24,731 --> 00:14:26,208 - Come on, now, Jenny. - I won't hurt you one bit. 310 00:14:26,232 --> 00:14:27,743 - I hate you, I hate you, I hate you! - Come on, now, 311 00:14:27,767 --> 00:14:29,011 - Into bed you go. - Get her in there 312 00:14:29,035 --> 00:14:31,664 - before she has another attack. - Into bed you go, there! 313 00:14:31,771 --> 00:14:33,082 - Now, this good... - Now, Jenny, Jenny, darling, 314 00:14:33,106 --> 00:14:34,516 you're going to take this good medicine. 315 00:14:34,540 --> 00:14:35,851 - Down it all, now. - Are you ready, Doctor? 316 00:14:35,875 --> 00:14:37,195 - Oh, I'm ready. - Oh, and that... 317 00:14:46,018 --> 00:14:47,748 Just remember to give her 318 00:14:47,854 --> 00:14:50,289 a half a teaspoon full of this every couple of hours. 319 00:14:50,390 --> 00:14:51,585 Ah, that I will, Doctor. 320 00:14:51,691 --> 00:14:53,683 You go to sleep. You sleep. 321 00:14:56,596 --> 00:14:59,361 She'll be all right, won't she, Doctor? 322 00:14:59,465 --> 00:15:00,660 - For now, Jester. - Eh... 323 00:15:00,767 --> 00:15:02,235 She's not responding. 324 00:15:02,335 --> 00:15:05,032 In fact, she's succeeding in making herself even worse 325 00:15:05,138 --> 00:15:07,073 and is developing signs of asthma, 326 00:15:07,173 --> 00:15:09,301 which could become really serious in time. 327 00:15:09,409 --> 00:15:11,674 Well, you get her the best medicines you can. 328 00:15:11,778 --> 00:15:13,542 I'll find the money to pay for them, somehow. 329 00:15:13,646 --> 00:15:17,073 Jester... you know and I know 330 00:15:17,183 --> 00:15:18,994 that the best medicine for Jenny would be a mother. 331 00:15:19,018 --> 00:15:20,486 A real mother. 332 00:15:20,586 --> 00:15:23,584 No an imaginary one, not a memory. 333 00:15:23,689 --> 00:15:27,887 I had a notion... a dream, a wild dream... 334 00:15:27,994 --> 00:15:30,156 but I never counted on the fatal charm 335 00:15:30,263 --> 00:15:31,561 of that Hoss Cartwright. 336 00:15:31,664 --> 00:15:34,793 And now it has destroyed me best-laid plans. 337 00:15:34,901 --> 00:15:37,029 What in the world are you talking about, Jester? 338 00:15:37,136 --> 00:15:39,230 What's Hoss Cartwright got to do with you? 339 00:15:39,338 --> 00:15:41,603 There's no earthly use discussing it. 340 00:15:41,707 --> 00:15:44,937 I've lost me last, me most desperate bid 341 00:15:45,044 --> 00:15:46,637 for the happiness of me tiny tot, 342 00:15:46,746 --> 00:15:48,305 me lovely Jenny. 343 00:15:50,450 --> 00:15:54,078 He's poisoned me, Daddy, he's poisoned me! 344 00:15:54,187 --> 00:15:56,179 I'm dying, Daddy! 345 00:15:56,289 --> 00:15:58,554 - Oh, Jenny, oh, Jenny, now... - He's given me poison. 346 00:15:58,658 --> 00:16:00,752 Please, now, Jenny. 347 00:16:00,860 --> 00:16:03,625 She's as pixilated as you are, Jester. 348 00:16:03,729 --> 00:16:04,822 Get that child in bed. 349 00:16:04,931 --> 00:16:05,990 I've gotta go now. 350 00:16:06,098 --> 00:16:07,794 I must be seven calls behind by now. 351 00:16:07,900 --> 00:16:08,799 Yes, Doctor. 352 00:16:08,901 --> 00:16:09,960 I am dying, Daddy! 353 00:16:10,069 --> 00:16:10,968 - Oh... - Dying! 354 00:16:11,070 --> 00:16:12,766 He's given me poison! 355 00:16:13,739 --> 00:16:15,435 Oh, Jenny. 356 00:16:15,541 --> 00:16:17,339 I'll be by again tomorrow. 357 00:16:17,443 --> 00:16:19,844 Well, uh, thank you kindly, Doctor. 358 00:16:26,385 --> 00:16:27,409 Joe. 359 00:16:27,520 --> 00:16:28,697 You gotta help me. You gotta save me. 360 00:16:28,721 --> 00:16:30,246 That French gal, she's dangerous. 361 00:16:31,991 --> 00:16:33,735 You know, I don't know what you got that these women want, 362 00:16:33,759 --> 00:16:35,971 but whatever it is, Hoss, you ought to bottle it and sell it. 363 00:16:35,995 --> 00:16:38,726 Ooh, Poopsie! 364 00:16:40,666 --> 00:16:42,177 - Joe, you're my brother. - Hoo-ooh! 365 00:16:42,201 --> 00:16:43,100 - Hoss... - You gotta help me. 366 00:16:43,202 --> 00:16:45,171 "Ooh!" 367 00:16:45,271 --> 00:16:47,968 Ooh, Poopsie. 368 00:16:48,074 --> 00:16:49,804 Oh, you bad, bad boy. 369 00:16:57,016 --> 00:16:58,314 Hoss! 370 00:16:58,417 --> 00:16:59,885 Oh, Hoss! 371 00:16:59,986 --> 00:17:01,352 Uh-oh. 372 00:17:02,889 --> 00:17:05,051 Why, you painted pile of French pastry! 373 00:17:05,157 --> 00:17:08,150 I warned you to keep your hands off my husband-to-be. 374 00:17:08,261 --> 00:17:09,285 Your husband-to-be? 375 00:17:09,395 --> 00:17:10,624 You corn-fed Amazon, you. 376 00:17:10,730 --> 00:17:13,757 "You corn-fed Amazon..." 377 00:17:13,866 --> 00:17:15,878 - You... - Corn-fed Amazon, eh? 378 00:17:15,902 --> 00:17:17,336 Why... why, I'll slug you so hard 379 00:17:17,436 --> 00:17:18,734 that sky'll be raining feathers. 380 00:17:18,838 --> 00:17:20,238 Oh! 381 00:17:20,339 --> 00:17:21,984 - En garde, en...-Ah, let me at her, let me at her, 382 00:17:22,008 --> 00:17:24,534 let me go, let me go! 383 00:17:24,644 --> 00:17:26,636 Excuse me, Poopsie. 384 00:17:34,487 --> 00:17:35,687 - Good morning. - Good morning. 385 00:17:35,721 --> 00:17:38,156 I'm Libby Spencefield. 386 00:17:38,257 --> 00:17:40,226 Libby Spencefield? 387 00:17:40,326 --> 00:17:41,794 Boston, Massachusetts? 388 00:17:41,894 --> 00:17:43,419 Uh, let-let me guess. 389 00:17:43,529 --> 00:17:45,623 You're looking for Hoss Cartwright. 390 00:17:45,731 --> 00:17:47,461 Yes. 391 00:17:47,567 --> 00:17:49,365 My fiancé. 392 00:17:53,439 --> 00:17:58,809 Oh... what a magnificent house. 393 00:17:58,911 --> 00:18:00,937 Oh... 394 00:18:01,047 --> 00:18:03,312 we should have a simply glorious wedding. 395 00:18:19,265 --> 00:18:21,496 ♪♪ 396 00:18:32,311 --> 00:18:35,372 Ah, Jenny, Jenny... 397 00:18:35,481 --> 00:18:37,916 why are you always doing things like that? 398 00:18:38,017 --> 00:18:41,886 I didn't want that big old doctor around, Daddy. 399 00:18:41,988 --> 00:18:44,287 I want you to stay with me always. 400 00:18:44,390 --> 00:18:46,086 Oh, my poor baby. 401 00:18:46,192 --> 00:18:48,252 I've tried being mother and father to you 402 00:18:48,361 --> 00:18:50,626 and I've failed you in both. 403 00:18:50,730 --> 00:18:54,230 I had a real mommy once, didn't I, Daddy? 404 00:18:54,333 --> 00:18:57,167 That you did, darlin'. 405 00:18:57,269 --> 00:18:58,965 My mommy... 406 00:18:59,071 --> 00:19:01,404 tell me again about my mommy, please. 407 00:19:04,844 --> 00:19:07,279 She was the dearest, loveliest spirit 408 00:19:07,380 --> 00:19:10,111 the good Lord ever put inside a body. 409 00:19:10,216 --> 00:19:13,516 And I loved her so much. 410 00:19:13,619 --> 00:19:16,179 And so it was she chose me, 411 00:19:16,288 --> 00:19:17,847 that together we could have 412 00:19:17,957 --> 00:19:19,858 a lovely, sweet little girl. 413 00:19:19,959 --> 00:19:23,225 Was that little girl me? 414 00:19:25,464 --> 00:19:27,626 Yes, dear heart. 415 00:19:27,733 --> 00:19:28,894 It was you. 416 00:19:30,703 --> 00:19:33,400 It was you, Jenny. 417 00:19:35,941 --> 00:19:38,342 It was you. 418 00:20:08,808 --> 00:20:10,800 ♪♪ 419 00:20:13,145 --> 00:20:14,773 Ah! Morning, Doc. 420 00:20:14,880 --> 00:20:16,212 Whoa. How are you, Ben? 421 00:20:16,315 --> 00:20:17,315 How are you? 422 00:20:17,383 --> 00:20:18,282 Been to see Jenny? 423 00:20:18,384 --> 00:20:19,647 Yeah. 424 00:20:19,752 --> 00:20:20,752 Poor child. 425 00:20:20,820 --> 00:20:21,981 I don't know which is worse, 426 00:20:22,088 --> 00:20:24,785 her asthma or her need for a mother's care. 427 00:20:24,890 --> 00:20:26,586 Yeah. I can't understand 428 00:20:26,692 --> 00:20:28,103 why Jester doesn't get married again. 429 00:20:28,127 --> 00:20:30,460 Well, I've tried to talk him into it, Ben, believe me. 430 00:20:30,563 --> 00:20:32,464 - But you know Jester. - Oh, yes. 431 00:20:32,565 --> 00:20:34,056 Why, just a little while ago, 432 00:20:34,166 --> 00:20:35,862 he was babbling some nonsense 433 00:20:35,968 --> 00:20:38,199 about some wild scheme and... 434 00:20:38,304 --> 00:20:41,672 about Hoss's charm having destroyed his plans. 435 00:20:43,242 --> 00:20:45,006 W... wait a minute. What did you say? 436 00:20:45,111 --> 00:20:47,012 He said Hoss's charms 437 00:20:47,113 --> 00:20:48,479 had destroyed his plans? 438 00:20:48,581 --> 00:20:50,345 Yeah. 439 00:20:50,449 --> 00:20:51,781 He said he didn't have a chance 440 00:20:51,884 --> 00:20:53,352 against Hoss's charms. 441 00:20:54,653 --> 00:20:56,349 Guess you didn't know that you'd spawned 442 00:20:56,455 --> 00:20:57,923 a real charmer, did you, Ben? 443 00:20:59,992 --> 00:21:01,551 No, I sure didn't, 444 00:21:01,660 --> 00:21:04,425 but I'm just beginning to find out. 445 00:21:04,530 --> 00:21:06,431 So that's what this is all about. 446 00:21:06,532 --> 00:21:08,933 I swear it must be the weather. 447 00:21:09,034 --> 00:21:12,493 Now you're talking just as mysterious as Jester himself. 448 00:21:14,039 --> 00:21:15,803 Well, I gotta be off. 449 00:21:15,908 --> 00:21:18,139 - So long. - Yeah, so long, Doc. 450 00:21:18,244 --> 00:21:19,872 And thanks! Thanks. 451 00:21:21,981 --> 00:21:24,439 Hoss... 452 00:21:52,645 --> 00:21:54,011 Ah, Mr. Cartwright! 453 00:21:54,113 --> 00:21:55,113 Come in, come in. 454 00:21:55,181 --> 00:21:56,291 Well, thank you, Jester. 455 00:21:56,315 --> 00:21:57,544 - It's good to see you. - Yes. 456 00:21:57,650 --> 00:21:59,175 Oh, say, I just passed the doctor. 457 00:21:59,285 --> 00:22:00,548 I'm sorry to hear about Jenny. 458 00:22:00,653 --> 00:22:02,019 Oh, thank you, Mr. Cartwright. 459 00:22:02,121 --> 00:22:03,121 She's feeling better. 460 00:22:03,189 --> 00:22:04,469 - Sound asleep. - Oh, good. Good. 461 00:22:04,557 --> 00:22:06,924 But it's very considerate of you to come asking about her 462 00:22:07,026 --> 00:22:08,688 - and I thank you for it. - Not at all. 463 00:22:08,794 --> 00:22:09,818 I'll get you the coffee. 464 00:22:09,929 --> 00:22:11,124 Oh, uh, listen. 465 00:22:11,230 --> 00:22:12,425 I-I came here to see you. 466 00:22:12,531 --> 00:22:14,432 - Huh? - About some letters. 467 00:22:14,533 --> 00:22:17,128 Letters? What letters would you be meaning, Mr. Cartwright? 468 00:22:17,236 --> 00:22:18,431 Well, a strange thing. 469 00:22:18,537 --> 00:22:20,597 It seems that somebody's been forging Hoss's name 470 00:22:20,706 --> 00:22:21,817 - to some letters, and... - Oh... 471 00:22:21,841 --> 00:22:23,400 having them postmarked Virginia City. 472 00:22:23,509 --> 00:22:24,977 That's against the law. 473 00:22:25,077 --> 00:22:26,602 A body could go to jail for that. 474 00:22:26,712 --> 00:22:28,874 - Yes, yes, I'm aware of that. - Yeah. 475 00:22:28,981 --> 00:22:31,101 You wouldn't, uh, know anything about them, would you? 476 00:22:31,183 --> 00:22:32,549 Me, Mr. Cartwright? 477 00:22:32,651 --> 00:22:34,210 You see, 478 00:22:34,320 --> 00:22:36,289 you and Matt are the only two handling the mail, 479 00:22:36,388 --> 00:22:37,822 and, uh, I knew it wasn't Matt, 480 00:22:37,923 --> 00:22:39,551 so I thought perhaps it might be you. 481 00:22:39,658 --> 00:22:42,093 Now, try to remember something. 482 00:22:42,194 --> 00:22:43,405 - I... - See, these letters were written 483 00:22:43,429 --> 00:22:45,159 - to two different women. - Oh. 484 00:22:45,264 --> 00:22:47,028 Now, see if these names mean anything to you. 485 00:22:47,132 --> 00:22:48,691 Yes. Yes, of course. 486 00:22:48,801 --> 00:22:50,269 Annie Slocum. 487 00:22:50,369 --> 00:22:53,169 Annie Slocum... - Yes. - Annie Slocum. 488 00:22:53,272 --> 00:22:55,070 And the other one is Yvette Devereaux. 489 00:22:55,174 --> 00:22:57,643 Yvette Devereaux, huh? 490 00:22:57,743 --> 00:22:59,234 Now, those names should be 491 00:22:59,345 --> 00:23:01,211 kind of easy to remember, don't you think? 492 00:23:03,315 --> 00:23:05,216 It's coming back to me, Mr. Cartwright, 493 00:23:05,317 --> 00:23:06,649 it's coming back to me. 494 00:23:06,752 --> 00:23:09,415 I remember now, it was a stranger that mailed 'em. 495 00:23:09,521 --> 00:23:10,887 Yes, sir, sure enough. 496 00:23:10,990 --> 00:23:12,390 I'm beginning to see him now. 497 00:23:12,491 --> 00:23:14,323 Flashy-dressed, with a fancy vest. 498 00:23:14,426 --> 00:23:16,292 I'd say a gambling man. 499 00:23:16,395 --> 00:23:17,761 And he posted those letters. 500 00:23:17,863 --> 00:23:18,762 That's right. 501 00:23:18,864 --> 00:23:20,890 A flashy-dressed gamblin' man. 502 00:23:21,000 --> 00:23:23,196 Well, that explains how the letters were posted, then. 503 00:23:23,302 --> 00:23:24,497 - So... - Yes. Yes, it does. 504 00:23:24,603 --> 00:23:26,435 Tell me, what do you think happened 505 00:23:26,538 --> 00:23:29,406 to the letters that the ladies sent to Hoss? 506 00:23:30,876 --> 00:23:31,969 - Oh, yes, oh, yes. - You... 507 00:23:32,077 --> 00:23:33,637 The-the letters the ladies sent to Hoss. 508 00:23:33,712 --> 00:23:34,712 Yes, you see, 509 00:23:34,780 --> 00:23:37,215 those ladies answered Hoss's letters. 510 00:23:37,316 --> 00:23:38,648 - Oh, yeah. - And, uh... 511 00:23:38,751 --> 00:23:40,362 they must have gone through the post office, 512 00:23:40,386 --> 00:23:42,446 except that, uh, Hoss never received them. 513 00:23:42,554 --> 00:23:45,388 - Oh, yes, Hoss... - Whatever happened to them? 514 00:23:45,491 --> 00:23:47,084 What do you think happened to them, now? 515 00:23:47,192 --> 00:23:50,594 Oh, yes, what happened to them? 516 00:23:50,696 --> 00:23:53,393 Well... Maybe they was lost. 517 00:23:53,499 --> 00:23:55,331 Yeah. Or maybe, uh... 518 00:23:55,434 --> 00:23:57,062 maybe they was stolen. 519 00:23:57,169 --> 00:23:59,161 All of them? 520 00:24:00,472 --> 00:24:02,805 It don't hold water, do it? 521 00:24:02,908 --> 00:24:04,536 Ah, well. 522 00:24:04,643 --> 00:24:05,975 Of course, it-it really... 523 00:24:06,078 --> 00:24:08,240 it really isn't, uh, it really isn't your fault, is it? 524 00:24:08,347 --> 00:24:09,246 Uh, it's not? 525 00:24:09,348 --> 00:24:11,112 - No, of course not. - Oh? 526 00:24:11,216 --> 00:24:12,684 You were hired as a postal employee, 527 00:24:12,785 --> 00:24:14,651 - not as a detective. - Oh, sure now, 528 00:24:14,753 --> 00:24:15,982 and that's a fact, sir. 529 00:24:16,088 --> 00:24:18,080 Now, you could really be of great help to me 530 00:24:18,190 --> 00:24:19,351 if you wanted to be. 531 00:24:19,458 --> 00:24:20,653 And how could I be that? 532 00:24:20,759 --> 00:24:23,820 By helping me prove my theory. 533 00:24:23,929 --> 00:24:25,522 Oh, yes! 534 00:24:25,631 --> 00:24:27,862 Eh... what might that be, sir? 535 00:24:30,002 --> 00:24:34,903 It could be... that Hoss... my son, Hoss... 536 00:24:35,007 --> 00:24:36,805 In an impassioned moment, 537 00:24:36,909 --> 00:24:38,241 wrote those letters. 538 00:24:38,344 --> 00:24:39,539 Ah...! 539 00:24:39,645 --> 00:24:41,580 And then had this mysterious gambler 540 00:24:41,680 --> 00:24:43,046 mail them for him. 541 00:24:43,148 --> 00:24:44,776 - Aha... - Or it could be 542 00:24:44,883 --> 00:24:46,094 that Little Joe wrote those letters 543 00:24:46,118 --> 00:24:47,347 as a joke on Hoss. 544 00:24:47,453 --> 00:24:49,354 - Oh, glory be! - In either case, 545 00:24:49,455 --> 00:24:51,549 you will help me, won't you? 546 00:24:51,657 --> 00:24:54,149 I certainly will, sir. 547 00:24:54,259 --> 00:24:55,386 How? 548 00:24:55,494 --> 00:24:57,656 By coming to the Ponderosa 549 00:24:57,763 --> 00:24:59,231 and being with my guests... 550 00:24:59,331 --> 00:25:00,765 You'll bring Jenny, of course... 551 00:25:00,866 --> 00:25:02,334 And while you're there... 552 00:25:02,434 --> 00:25:04,994 I'll observe for suspicious moves. 553 00:25:05,104 --> 00:25:06,732 Exactly. Exactly. 554 00:25:06,839 --> 00:25:08,450 - Yes, sir. Yes, sir. - Now you're thinking, Jester. 555 00:25:08,474 --> 00:25:09,840 Now you're thinking. 556 00:25:09,942 --> 00:25:12,173 I can't tell you how greatly relieved I am 557 00:25:12,277 --> 00:25:13,655 to find that your thinking in this matter 558 00:25:13,679 --> 00:25:15,113 so exactly coincides with mine. 559 00:25:15,214 --> 00:25:17,274 Ah, thank you, sir. 560 00:25:17,383 --> 00:25:20,475 Oh... Well, now. 561 00:25:20,586 --> 00:25:22,020 How about that coffee, huh? 562 00:25:22,121 --> 00:25:23,783 Well, now, that's a wonderful idea. 563 00:25:23,889 --> 00:25:25,255 Ah, there you are, sir. 564 00:25:25,357 --> 00:25:26,357 Nice hot coffee. 565 00:25:26,458 --> 00:25:27,858 I keep it on the stove all the time. 566 00:25:27,893 --> 00:25:29,691 Yes. 567 00:25:29,795 --> 00:25:31,127 Ah, yes, sir. 568 00:25:38,737 --> 00:25:39,737 Whoa. 569 00:25:58,257 --> 00:26:00,317 I mean, Pa, it's been like this all day. 570 00:26:00,426 --> 00:26:01,758 Howdy, Poopsie! 571 00:26:03,429 --> 00:26:04,658 Ooh, Hoss, chéri! 572 00:26:04,763 --> 00:26:06,959 Chéri, 'Oss, wait a minute. 573 00:26:09,501 --> 00:26:11,231 Wait for me! 574 00:26:11,336 --> 00:26:12,647 LITTLE JOE "Wait for me!" 575 00:26:16,475 --> 00:26:18,253 Joe, I don't think your brother's gonna appreciate 576 00:26:18,277 --> 00:26:19,821 - you laughing like that. - Oh, I can't help it, Pa. 577 00:26:19,845 --> 00:26:22,023 He looks like a young rooster with a whole flock of pullets. 578 00:26:22,047 --> 00:26:23,675 Hey, Jester, how you doing? 579 00:26:23,782 --> 00:26:25,307 And a good day to you, Little Joe. 580 00:26:25,417 --> 00:26:27,079 Good... Ooh, and how's my little Jenny? 581 00:26:27,186 --> 00:26:28,085 You miss me, baby? 582 00:26:28,187 --> 00:26:30,656 Little Joe, Hoss did look funny. 583 00:26:30,756 --> 00:26:32,867 Why was that lady chasing him? 584 00:26:32,891 --> 00:26:36,089 Uh, w-why was the lady chasing him? 585 00:26:38,263 --> 00:26:41,233 Th-They were playing a little kind of a game of tag, Jenny. 586 00:26:44,903 --> 00:26:46,701 Hoss? Hoss! 587 00:26:46,805 --> 00:26:48,467 You naughty boy! 588 00:26:48,574 --> 00:26:50,270 Where are you hiding? 589 00:26:54,413 --> 00:26:55,847 Hoss, dear! 590 00:26:55,948 --> 00:26:58,008 Where are you? 591 00:26:58,117 --> 00:26:59,642 - Who's that? - Hmm? 592 00:26:59,751 --> 00:27:01,413 Oh, that-that's Libby Spencefield. 593 00:27:01,520 --> 00:27:02,664 She checked in while you were in town. 594 00:27:02,688 --> 00:27:04,554 She's from New England. 595 00:27:04,656 --> 00:27:05,555 - Oh, no. - Oh, yeah. 596 00:27:05,657 --> 00:27:06,556 Not another. 597 00:27:06,658 --> 00:27:09,526 Oh, yeah. 598 00:27:09,628 --> 00:27:12,359 Uh, she's elevating Hoss's mentality. 599 00:27:12,464 --> 00:27:14,660 Teaching him about, oh, things like Chaucer 600 00:27:14,766 --> 00:27:16,826 and New England history... that sort of thing, 601 00:27:16,935 --> 00:27:18,775 so they'll be compatible when they get married. 602 00:27:21,340 --> 00:27:23,366 In the meantime, big Annie Slocum's 603 00:27:23,475 --> 00:27:25,153 fixed about four messes of possum for Hoss. 604 00:27:25,177 --> 00:27:26,488 I never thought I'd see my brother 605 00:27:26,512 --> 00:27:27,810 turn green at the dinner table. 606 00:27:27,913 --> 00:27:30,405 He'd been hiding in the barn, till Yvette found him. 607 00:27:30,516 --> 00:27:32,951 Oh, yeah, I-I... I saw that. 608 00:27:44,997 --> 00:27:48,457 Mr. Cartwright, Hop Sing going to quit. 609 00:27:49,668 --> 00:27:53,999 Oh, Jester... Mmm, it's a big day. 610 00:27:54,106 --> 00:27:55,665 I leaving today! 611 00:27:55,774 --> 00:27:57,185 - No, we can... - Unless this foreign lady 612 00:27:57,209 --> 00:27:58,472 go back to Kentucky! 613 00:27:58,577 --> 00:28:00,671 Mr. Cartwright, this man has got to go. 614 00:28:00,779 --> 00:28:02,611 He is constantly underfoot in my kitchen. 615 00:28:02,714 --> 00:28:04,080 - Yeah, but... - "Her" kitchen! 616 00:28:04,183 --> 00:28:05,378 In my kitchen, 617 00:28:05,484 --> 00:28:06,816 I just caught him trying to put 618 00:28:06,919 --> 00:28:09,150 a dirty old bird's nest in my soup for Hoss! 619 00:28:09,254 --> 00:28:10,153 - Hmph! - Scat! 620 00:28:10,255 --> 00:28:11,266 - Scat, scat, scat, scat! - Uh... 621 00:28:11,290 --> 00:28:12,986 Uh, Hop Sing, don't worry. 622 00:28:13,091 --> 00:28:14,602 Everything'll be all right. You go on into the kitchen. 623 00:28:14,626 --> 00:28:16,720 No wonder poor Sugarplum eats like a bird. 624 00:28:16,828 --> 00:28:18,421 - Like a bird? - Like a bird? 625 00:28:20,566 --> 00:28:21,465 Who are they? 626 00:28:21,567 --> 00:28:23,058 Oh, uh... 627 00:28:23,168 --> 00:28:25,728 Annie Slocum, this is Mr. Jester McGillicuddy. 628 00:28:25,837 --> 00:28:28,534 Glad to make your acquaintance, mum. 629 00:28:28,640 --> 00:28:29,664 Howdy. 630 00:28:29,775 --> 00:28:31,903 And, uh, Miss Jenny McGillicuddy. 631 00:28:32,010 --> 00:28:34,241 Jenny, say hello to the lady. 632 00:28:34,346 --> 00:28:35,814 I'd rather not. 633 00:28:38,083 --> 00:28:40,143 Oh, so you'd rather not, eh? 634 00:28:40,252 --> 00:28:42,448 Ooh, in Kentuck, 635 00:28:42,554 --> 00:28:45,149 I'd know how to peel a little turnip like you. 636 00:28:49,061 --> 00:28:50,757 Ooh! 637 00:28:50,862 --> 00:28:52,023 Jenny! 638 00:28:52,130 --> 00:28:53,257 Shame on you, girl. 639 00:28:53,365 --> 00:28:54,365 Shame on you. 640 00:28:54,399 --> 00:28:55,662 What'll Miss Annie think? 641 00:28:58,003 --> 00:28:59,904 I think I'll be needin' some help 642 00:29:00,005 --> 00:29:01,482 in the kitchen with my vegetable cuttin'. 643 00:29:01,506 --> 00:29:02,735 Come on, young lady. 644 00:29:02,841 --> 00:29:04,901 I think I'm gonna be short of breath, Daddy! 645 00:29:05,010 --> 00:29:06,535 I think I'm gonna be sick! 646 00:29:06,645 --> 00:29:09,740 We Kentucky folks have a cure for what ails her. 647 00:29:09,848 --> 00:29:11,282 It's called work. 648 00:29:11,383 --> 00:29:12,908 - Well... - Help! Daddy! Mr. Cart...! 649 00:29:13,018 --> 00:29:14,281 She's going to beat me! 650 00:29:14,386 --> 00:29:15,513 I'm going to faint! 651 00:29:15,621 --> 00:29:17,590 That'll be the day. 652 00:29:21,560 --> 00:29:23,051 Uh, Mr. Cartwright, 653 00:29:23,161 --> 00:29:25,494 do you think that my Jenny is safe with that woman? 654 00:29:27,099 --> 00:29:28,431 Well, I'll tell you, Jester, 655 00:29:28,533 --> 00:29:30,297 it seems to me that, uh... 656 00:29:30,402 --> 00:29:33,338 Annie's medicine might be just the right thing for her. 657 00:29:33,438 --> 00:29:35,134 Oh? 658 00:29:35,240 --> 00:29:36,240 Oh... 659 00:29:44,116 --> 00:29:45,015 Hoss, what are...? 660 00:29:45,117 --> 00:29:46,881 Shh! Shh! 661 00:29:50,188 --> 00:29:54,387 What the devil are... Shh, Pa. Pa... 662 00:29:54,493 --> 00:29:56,052 I've been up there in my room. 663 00:29:56,161 --> 00:29:57,060 Where's them gals? 664 00:29:57,162 --> 00:29:58,755 Outside, getting some air. 665 00:29:58,864 --> 00:30:00,475 What are you skulking around like this for? 666 00:30:00,499 --> 00:30:02,934 Well, dad-burnit, Pa, between Miss Yvette 667 00:30:03,035 --> 00:30:05,095 and her truffles and snails... 668 00:30:05,203 --> 00:30:07,729 and-and Ned and Jed and their mess of possums 669 00:30:07,839 --> 00:30:09,535 and-and Miss Libby cramming all that 670 00:30:09,641 --> 00:30:11,234 fancy bookwork down my brain 671 00:30:11,343 --> 00:30:12,675 I'm-I'm about to blow a cork. 672 00:30:12,778 --> 00:30:15,680 Yeah, I've-I've been giving this problem of yours 673 00:30:15,781 --> 00:30:17,841 a bit of consideration, son. 674 00:30:17,949 --> 00:30:21,351 You have three brides 675 00:30:21,453 --> 00:30:24,946 and one very reluctant bridegroom. 676 00:30:26,858 --> 00:30:28,884 That's not very good odds. 677 00:30:28,994 --> 00:30:32,355 Unless... Unless what? 678 00:30:32,464 --> 00:30:33,864 You got an idea? 679 00:30:33,965 --> 00:30:37,663 Well, I-I just might have, son. 680 00:30:37,769 --> 00:30:39,670 Weren't you and Little Joe gonna play poker 681 00:30:39,771 --> 00:30:41,239 with Will Parkiss tonight? 682 00:30:43,442 --> 00:30:45,536 Yeah, I was gonna. 683 00:30:45,644 --> 00:30:47,545 Hoss... 684 00:30:47,646 --> 00:30:51,674 I think you just ought to go over there and play poker. 685 00:30:53,852 --> 00:30:57,619 And, uh, make sure you go through the kitchen. 686 00:31:00,058 --> 00:31:01,959 All right. 687 00:31:02,060 --> 00:31:07,055 Pa, I'm gonna be depending on you. 688 00:31:21,012 --> 00:31:21,843 Good evening. 689 00:31:21,947 --> 00:31:23,939 - Good evening. - Bonsoir. 690 00:31:25,684 --> 00:31:30,679 Lovely ladies and a lovely night. 691 00:31:41,032 --> 00:31:43,058 Lovely music. 692 00:31:43,168 --> 00:31:46,832 Ay. 693 00:31:46,938 --> 00:31:49,703 How lonely it sounds. 694 00:31:55,914 --> 00:31:59,407 A couple of nice boys, Ned and Jed. 695 00:32:00,452 --> 00:32:02,148 Nice boys. 696 00:32:05,190 --> 00:32:07,159 It's strange how... 697 00:32:07,259 --> 00:32:09,160 people can show their loneliness 698 00:32:09,261 --> 00:32:10,695 through their music. 699 00:32:16,201 --> 00:32:18,102 You'd never know. 700 00:32:18,203 --> 00:32:21,901 Those boys have hearts as big as potato sacks. 701 00:32:22,007 --> 00:32:24,943 But lonely as a desert night. 702 00:32:25,977 --> 00:32:27,969 Poor boys. 703 00:32:32,250 --> 00:32:34,481 Poor boys. 704 00:32:34,586 --> 00:32:38,353 What'll they do when Annie leaves them? 705 00:32:38,457 --> 00:32:41,017 How they'll miss the soft touch 706 00:32:41,126 --> 00:32:43,118 of a woman in their life. 707 00:32:47,098 --> 00:32:49,567 Poor boys. 708 00:32:49,668 --> 00:32:52,228 So lonely. 709 00:32:52,337 --> 00:32:54,169 Just like me. 710 00:32:54,272 --> 00:32:56,468 Nobody wants me. 711 00:32:56,575 --> 00:33:01,446 Oh, why... I, uh... I wouldn't say that. 712 00:33:01,546 --> 00:33:02,980 No, sir. 713 00:33:03,081 --> 00:33:06,574 Why, do you know that I heard the Slocum boys saying that... 714 00:33:06,685 --> 00:33:10,520 Well, I... I guess I can tell you. 715 00:33:10,622 --> 00:33:13,456 Well, I-I heard them Slocum boys say that, uh... 716 00:33:13,558 --> 00:33:17,620 that you and Miss Libby here were two real beauties. 717 00:33:19,464 --> 00:33:21,695 Oh, there are a lot of fish in the ocean. 718 00:33:21,800 --> 00:33:23,962 You know that son, Hoss, of mine... 719 00:33:24,069 --> 00:33:27,506 Well, he never did know a pretty woman when he saw one. 720 00:33:27,606 --> 00:33:30,542 Did they... the Slocum boys... Did they really say that we...? 721 00:33:30,642 --> 00:33:32,406 Well, they-they never... 722 00:33:32,511 --> 00:33:34,742 come right out blunt-like and say it. Uh... 723 00:33:34,846 --> 00:33:38,283 Well, let me tell you about those two boys. 724 00:33:38,383 --> 00:33:41,285 Underneath those rough exteriors, 725 00:33:41,386 --> 00:33:44,550 beat two hearts of gold. 726 00:33:44,656 --> 00:33:46,147 Yes, ma'am. 727 00:33:46,258 --> 00:33:48,921 Two hearts of gold. 728 00:34:02,007 --> 00:34:06,069 Well, I guess it's time for me to be turning in. 729 00:34:06,177 --> 00:34:08,112 Good night, ladies. 730 00:34:08,213 --> 00:34:10,307 - Good night. - Pleasant dreams. 731 00:34:10,415 --> 00:34:12,816 Bonsoir, Monsieur Cartwright. 732 00:34:15,987 --> 00:34:18,752 It is lovely music, isn't it? 733 00:34:18,857 --> 00:34:22,760 Divine, one might say. 734 00:34:22,861 --> 00:34:24,591 Poor boys. 735 00:34:24,696 --> 00:34:26,790 They do sound lonely. 736 00:34:26,898 --> 00:34:28,992 Do they not? 737 00:34:29,100 --> 00:34:32,400 Terribly. 738 00:34:41,913 --> 00:34:43,472 That was pretty. 739 00:34:43,582 --> 00:34:44,743 Yeah. 740 00:34:44,849 --> 00:34:47,751 Hey, Ned, look at them stars. 741 00:34:47,852 --> 00:34:50,617 Like wildflowers on fire, ain't they? 742 00:34:50,722 --> 00:34:52,281 Pretty, all right. 743 00:34:52,390 --> 00:34:55,292 Kind of reminds me of old Kentuck. 744 00:34:55,393 --> 00:34:58,090 The moon just like a big old lantern. 745 00:34:58,196 --> 00:34:59,789 You homesick, Ned? 746 00:34:59,898 --> 00:35:02,993 Kinda, I guess. 747 00:35:03,101 --> 00:35:05,730 This is mighty fine country. 748 00:35:05,837 --> 00:35:10,605 A feller could set his roots down, if he put his mind to it. 749 00:35:10,709 --> 00:35:13,008 Yeah, and-and come spring, planting some corn 750 00:35:13,111 --> 00:35:15,376 and hoeing it and watching it grow. 751 00:35:17,515 --> 00:35:20,314 Maybe own a little ol' still out back. 752 00:35:20,418 --> 00:35:24,685 Making us up a big old batch of that pure golden... 753 00:35:24,789 --> 00:35:26,690 good ol' mountain dew. 754 00:35:26,791 --> 00:35:29,351 Mountain dew. 755 00:35:29,461 --> 00:35:31,987 Wouldn't that be something? 756 00:35:32,097 --> 00:35:34,328 That sure would be something. 757 00:35:34,432 --> 00:35:37,732 Makes my ol' mouth water just thinking about it. 758 00:35:37,836 --> 00:35:41,238 Makes me kind of lonely just saying them words. 759 00:35:41,339 --> 00:35:43,740 Mountain dew. 760 00:35:46,544 --> 00:35:48,945 Good ol' mountain dew. 761 00:35:52,951 --> 00:35:55,682 Aw, now, that's enough of that stuff for one night. 762 00:35:55,787 --> 00:35:58,552 Oh, aren't you going to play just a bit more? 763 00:35:58,657 --> 00:36:02,424 How long you two she-males been standing there? 764 00:36:02,527 --> 00:36:04,018 Just a few minutes. 765 00:36:04,129 --> 00:36:06,360 But we just love your music. 766 00:36:06,464 --> 00:36:10,629 It is... well, how shall I say? Very romantic. 767 00:36:10,735 --> 00:36:12,294 Let's get out of here, brother. 768 00:36:12,404 --> 00:36:13,838 Why, if I didn't know better, 769 00:36:13,938 --> 00:36:15,770 I'd think you gentlemen didn't like us. 770 00:36:15,874 --> 00:36:17,604 I think they do like us, 771 00:36:17,709 --> 00:36:19,200 but they are afraid. 772 00:36:19,310 --> 00:36:21,870 - Aren't you, mon chéri? - Afraid of a woman? 773 00:36:21,980 --> 00:36:25,417 Maybe Frenchmen is afraid of women but not us mountain men. 774 00:36:25,517 --> 00:36:28,351 Oh, a Frenchman never runs from a lovely woman. 775 00:36:28,453 --> 00:36:29,580 Never. 776 00:36:29,688 --> 00:36:32,783 Or don't you think we are lovely? 777 00:36:32,891 --> 00:36:37,455 Well... you're-you're passable, I reckon. 778 00:36:37,562 --> 00:36:40,794 And am I "possible"? 779 00:36:40,899 --> 00:36:43,334 "Passable," ma'am, "passable." 780 00:36:43,435 --> 00:36:45,563 Is there a difference? 781 00:36:45,670 --> 00:36:48,936 As you would say, vive la différence. 782 00:36:49,040 --> 00:36:51,600 Hey, Brother Ned, I think they're talking 783 00:36:51,710 --> 00:36:53,872 in some language I don't rightly understand. 784 00:36:53,978 --> 00:36:56,072 We are talking the language of love. 785 00:36:56,181 --> 00:37:00,084 Love? I-I could love my mule and my squirrel gun, 786 00:37:00,185 --> 00:37:02,245 but I reckon that's about all. 787 00:37:02,353 --> 00:37:04,379 Don't forget that sour mash, brother. 788 00:37:04,489 --> 00:37:05,787 Yeah, that, too. 789 00:37:05,890 --> 00:37:06,789 Oh, poor things. 790 00:37:06,891 --> 00:37:09,190 You will have to be taught. 791 00:37:09,294 --> 00:37:12,389 Taught? 792 00:37:33,384 --> 00:37:35,319 Oh, pardon, monsieur. 793 00:37:35,420 --> 00:37:36,820 Oh, pardon me, ma'am. 794 00:37:36,921 --> 00:37:39,686 I just, uh... Well, I did not see you. 795 00:37:39,791 --> 00:37:41,225 I-I didn't see you, neither. 796 00:37:41,326 --> 00:37:44,592 I-I was just, uh, poking along and thinkin' about last night, 797 00:37:44,696 --> 00:37:46,892 uh, uh, down by the corral. 798 00:37:46,998 --> 00:37:50,162 Uh, uh, I was also thinking. 799 00:37:50,268 --> 00:37:52,328 That's funny, both us thinkin' at once. 800 00:37:52,437 --> 00:37:54,668 Y-You know, I think all the time nearly. 801 00:37:54,773 --> 00:37:57,333 And-and sometimes I think about the doggonest things. 802 00:37:57,442 --> 00:37:59,172 - Really? - Oh, yeah! 803 00:37:59,277 --> 00:38:00,802 You know, once't I was a-walkin' along 804 00:38:00,912 --> 00:38:03,108 and suddenly I commenced to thinkin' about 805 00:38:03,214 --> 00:38:04,978 how I'd like to just peel off my boots 806 00:38:05,083 --> 00:38:06,163 and-and-and run in the mud, 807 00:38:06,217 --> 00:38:07,549 just like a little old kid. 808 00:38:07,652 --> 00:38:09,280 And-and did you? 809 00:38:09,387 --> 00:38:11,288 Sure did, just like that. 810 00:38:11,389 --> 00:38:14,291 How thrilling to be so impulsive. 811 00:38:14,392 --> 00:38:15,690 "Impulsive"? 812 00:38:15,794 --> 00:38:17,695 I-I-I ain't scared of nothing 813 00:38:17,796 --> 00:38:19,697 that walks or swims or crawls. 814 00:38:19,798 --> 00:38:21,426 Not even girls? 815 00:38:21,533 --> 00:38:22,592 Well, I-I just... 816 00:38:22,700 --> 00:38:24,794 Oh, you do not seem afraid of me. 817 00:38:24,903 --> 00:38:27,600 Well, I-I reckon I forgot that you was a girl 818 00:38:27,705 --> 00:38:30,106 - just for a minute. - Ooh, you're just saying that. 819 00:38:30,208 --> 00:38:32,643 No, ma'am. 820 00:38:32,744 --> 00:38:34,645 No, ma'am, Miss Yvette, I ain't. 821 00:38:34,746 --> 00:38:37,375 Why, if it wasn't for that Hoss Cartwright, I'd-I'd... 822 00:38:37,482 --> 00:38:40,509 Ah, you'd what, Monsieur Slocum? 823 00:38:40,618 --> 00:38:44,145 Well, I'd... I'd... Monsieur Slocum, 824 00:38:44,255 --> 00:38:46,383 are you fond of escargot? 825 00:38:46,491 --> 00:38:48,824 "Escargot"? 826 00:38:48,927 --> 00:38:50,953 Well, seeing I ain't never met him, 827 00:38:51,062 --> 00:38:53,361 it be hard to say yes or no, ma'am. 828 00:38:53,464 --> 00:38:55,729 Oh, you silly boy. 829 00:38:55,834 --> 00:38:57,928 Has anybody told you 830 00:38:58,036 --> 00:39:01,302 you have a delightful sense of humor? 831 00:39:01,406 --> 00:39:03,375 Let's talk about New Orleans. 832 00:39:03,474 --> 00:39:06,069 Have you ever been there, mon chèri? 833 00:39:17,956 --> 00:39:20,016 Of course, I never did see 834 00:39:20,124 --> 00:39:22,559 what you gals saw in that Hoss anyhow. 835 00:39:22,660 --> 00:39:27,664 Except he was big and rich and handsome. 836 00:39:27,765 --> 00:39:31,099 Oh, which any fella could be if he'd set his mind to it. 837 00:39:33,204 --> 00:39:34,900 What you been reading... A cookbook? 838 00:39:35,006 --> 00:39:37,669 Oh, why, no, it's Mr. Ralph Waldo Emerson. 839 00:39:37,775 --> 00:39:39,767 Don't you think he's divine? 840 00:39:40,912 --> 00:39:43,006 Is he a Yankee or South? 841 00:39:44,249 --> 00:39:46,946 Well, I imagine he'd be classified a Yankee. 842 00:39:48,620 --> 00:39:50,054 I don't like him then. 843 00:39:51,256 --> 00:39:53,191 Oh? 844 00:39:53,291 --> 00:39:55,283 Have you read him, Mr. Slocum? 845 00:39:55,393 --> 00:39:56,417 No. 846 00:39:56,527 --> 00:39:58,519 I ain't ever met him. 847 00:40:00,331 --> 00:40:03,665 Oh, of course, I-I ain't got nothin' 848 00:40:03,768 --> 00:40:06,397 against Yankee she-males. 849 00:40:06,504 --> 00:40:09,064 Naturally, I hate men Yankees 850 00:40:09,173 --> 00:40:11,301 more than I hate "potater" bugs. 851 00:40:13,912 --> 00:40:16,780 Mr. Slocum, now what quarrel could you possibly have 852 00:40:16,881 --> 00:40:18,543 with this beautiful passage? 853 00:40:18,650 --> 00:40:20,516 - Oh...! - Oh, oh, I'm sorry! 854 00:40:20,618 --> 00:40:25,413 Terribly sorry, I... How do...? Yeah. 855 00:40:28,059 --> 00:40:30,051 Well, I'll-I'll own... 856 00:40:30,161 --> 00:40:32,790 for a Yankee, it ain't bad. 857 00:40:42,540 --> 00:40:43,872 Oh... 858 00:40:47,879 --> 00:40:51,406 Well... I reckon I'm pretty dumb. 859 00:40:51,516 --> 00:40:54,918 Ain't had no time for schooling. 860 00:40:55,019 --> 00:40:56,510 While Sister Annie was growing up, 861 00:40:56,621 --> 00:40:58,988 me and Brother Ned had to work on the farm. 862 00:40:59,090 --> 00:41:01,958 Uh, us being just orphans. 863 00:41:02,060 --> 00:41:05,030 And you sacrificed yourself for her. 864 00:41:06,564 --> 00:41:12,226 Oh... how noble. 865 00:41:12,337 --> 00:41:14,363 How inspired. 866 00:41:14,472 --> 00:41:16,566 Oh. 867 00:41:16,674 --> 00:41:21,310 Why, Mr. Slocum... Jed? 868 00:41:21,412 --> 00:41:22,880 Makes me want to cry. 869 00:41:22,981 --> 00:41:25,507 Oh, oh, well, I was just... 870 00:41:25,616 --> 00:41:28,552 Oh, there's beauty in your soul, Jed. 871 00:41:30,021 --> 00:41:31,182 They is? 872 00:41:31,289 --> 00:41:34,589 I knew it from the very first moment I saw you. 873 00:41:34,692 --> 00:41:37,093 - But I was blind. - You was? 874 00:41:37,195 --> 00:41:38,754 Blinded by selfishness! 875 00:41:38,863 --> 00:41:40,229 Thinking only of myself. 876 00:41:40,331 --> 00:41:42,493 Tossing myself shamelessly at Hoss Cartwright 877 00:41:42,600 --> 00:41:44,569 - without a thought to... - To-to me? 878 00:41:44,669 --> 00:41:46,137 Precisely! 879 00:41:46,237 --> 00:41:48,570 Oh, dearest Jed... 880 00:41:50,241 --> 00:41:51,766 You must read. 881 00:41:51,876 --> 00:41:54,641 You must learn to read. 882 00:41:54,746 --> 00:41:56,408 You must let me guide you, 883 00:41:56,514 --> 00:41:58,346 as Lady Beatrice guided Dante 884 00:41:58,449 --> 00:42:00,918 through the wonders which lie before us. 885 00:42:01,019 --> 00:42:02,715 You-you really think 886 00:42:02,820 --> 00:42:05,187 you could learn a dumb mule like me to read and write? 887 00:42:05,289 --> 00:42:07,520 Oh, yes, yes, yes! 888 00:42:07,625 --> 00:42:09,753 - Oh! - Oh, dear Jed. 889 00:42:09,861 --> 00:42:12,626 Oh, Miss Libby. 890 00:42:12,730 --> 00:42:17,100 I see in you... the soul of a rural poet, 891 00:42:17,201 --> 00:42:20,330 a Southern Henry Longfellow, perchance... 892 00:42:20,438 --> 00:42:23,533 awaiting its redemption from the depths of darkness 893 00:42:23,641 --> 00:42:25,269 to burst forth brilliantly 894 00:42:25,376 --> 00:42:28,107 into the lights of literary skies. 895 00:42:28,212 --> 00:42:30,579 You see all them things in me? 896 00:42:30,681 --> 00:42:33,344 Oh, yes. 897 00:42:33,451 --> 00:42:35,443 Gee, willikers! 898 00:42:39,157 --> 00:42:40,853 Be careful! Oh! 899 00:42:40,958 --> 00:42:41,857 Be careful! 900 00:42:41,959 --> 00:42:44,656 You hurt somebody! 901 00:42:44,762 --> 00:42:46,788 Oh, they're my dishes! 902 00:42:46,898 --> 00:42:48,560 I won't peel any more potatoes! 903 00:42:48,666 --> 00:42:50,430 I won't! I won't! 904 00:42:50,535 --> 00:42:52,231 Oh, yes, you will! 905 00:42:52,336 --> 00:42:55,306 I hate you! You're just a mean old lady! 906 00:42:55,406 --> 00:42:56,965 You spanked me! 907 00:42:57,075 --> 00:42:58,907 I warned you what would happen 908 00:42:59,010 --> 00:43:00,740 if you pulled out that slingshot again! 909 00:43:00,845 --> 00:43:02,279 - Jenny... - Daddy! Daddy! 910 00:43:02,380 --> 00:43:03,380 - Aw! - Save me! 911 00:43:03,414 --> 00:43:05,610 I-I can't breathe! I'll die! 912 00:43:05,716 --> 00:43:07,651 She "can't breathe." Well, she sure can holler. 913 00:43:07,752 --> 00:43:09,948 The child suffers from asthma, Miss Annie. 914 00:43:10,054 --> 00:43:11,454 - The doctor says... - The doctors! 915 00:43:11,556 --> 00:43:12,966 What do they know about kids, anyway? 916 00:43:12,990 --> 00:43:14,835 - Now, look, Miss Annie... - Now, Mr. Cartwright... 917 00:43:14,859 --> 00:43:16,828 I might not be too smart about a lot of things, 918 00:43:16,928 --> 00:43:18,988 but I was a child once myself, 919 00:43:19,097 --> 00:43:22,534 and I know a surefire cure for that little hellion. 920 00:43:22,633 --> 00:43:25,125 Kentucky-style cure, that is. 921 00:43:25,236 --> 00:43:26,499 Well, Hoss, stop gaping. 922 00:43:26,604 --> 00:43:28,644 Pick up that child, take it upstairs to the bedroom. 923 00:43:28,673 --> 00:43:30,198 And as for you, you just stay put. 924 00:43:30,308 --> 00:43:31,718 - Well, now... - This is woman's work! 925 00:43:31,742 --> 00:43:33,734 Well... 926 00:43:34,812 --> 00:43:36,110 Glory be! 927 00:43:36,214 --> 00:43:37,375 Whew! 928 00:43:37,482 --> 00:43:38,482 She's quite a woman. 929 00:43:38,583 --> 00:43:40,950 She ain't no wailing banshee. 930 00:43:41,052 --> 00:43:43,044 - No, she ain't. - Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh! 931 00:43:45,456 --> 00:43:47,550 Why, just set her right over here on this bed. 932 00:43:47,658 --> 00:43:48,717 Yes'm. 933 00:43:48,826 --> 00:43:50,886 And I'm gonna need some red flannel... 934 00:43:50,995 --> 00:43:53,658 and, uh, show me where the medicine's kept. 935 00:43:53,764 --> 00:43:55,494 - Yep... - Uh... I'll take care of her. 936 00:43:55,600 --> 00:43:57,077 Ma'am, the medicine's over there under that... 937 00:43:57,101 --> 00:43:58,445 - All right... - I don't want nothing! 938 00:43:58,469 --> 00:43:59,903 The only flannel I got's over there 939 00:44:00,004 --> 00:44:01,748 - in them drawers in the dresser. - I don't care what you want! 940 00:44:01,772 --> 00:44:03,866 All right, I'll get it. Don't just stand there. 941 00:44:03,975 --> 00:44:05,385 - You're in the way, get out! - Yes'm. 942 00:44:05,409 --> 00:44:07,537 Well... Now, you sit still here. 943 00:44:07,645 --> 00:44:08,874 - You're gonna... - Let me... 944 00:44:08,980 --> 00:44:11,575 If you're gonna have an attack, just go right ahead. 945 00:44:11,682 --> 00:44:14,174 - I - hate you! I hate you! 946 00:44:14,285 --> 00:44:17,119 Let me go! Let me go! 947 00:44:22,660 --> 00:44:26,222 Boy, Pa, that-that Kentucky gal is sure determined. 948 00:44:26,330 --> 00:44:27,491 - Yeah, yeah. - Yeah. 949 00:44:27,598 --> 00:44:28,930 So's Jenny. 950 00:44:29,033 --> 00:44:31,025 Uh, Mr. Cartwright? 951 00:44:31,135 --> 00:44:34,071 I wonder if you'd care to accompany me upstairs 952 00:44:34,172 --> 00:44:36,903 for a peep at the proceedings? 953 00:44:37,008 --> 00:44:40,539 Uh, you, uh, you a little scared of Annie? 954 00:44:40,645 --> 00:44:43,179 Ooh, well, now, it-it ain't Annie 955 00:44:43,281 --> 00:44:44,579 and it ain't Jenny. 956 00:44:44,682 --> 00:44:47,550 But the two of them makes a mighty earthquake. 957 00:44:47,652 --> 00:44:49,848 She's murdering me! 958 00:44:53,257 --> 00:44:55,522 She's murdered me poor child! 959 00:45:04,669 --> 00:45:06,865 Glory be! 960 00:45:06,971 --> 00:45:09,065 Well, come in, Mr. McGillicuddy. 961 00:45:11,709 --> 00:45:14,042 Are you all right, Jenny darling? 962 00:45:14,145 --> 00:45:15,738 Well, why shouldn't she be all right? 963 00:45:15,846 --> 00:45:18,111 Since when has a warm bed and good rubdown 964 00:45:18,216 --> 00:45:20,378 done a child any harm? 965 00:45:20,484 --> 00:45:23,477 Mmm, what this child needs is love... 966 00:45:23,588 --> 00:45:25,580 A mother's love. 967 00:45:28,426 --> 00:45:30,156 I've been giving that very idea 968 00:45:30,261 --> 00:45:32,730 a bit of serious consideration of late. 969 00:45:37,702 --> 00:45:40,672 Well, have you now, Mr. McGillicuddy? 970 00:45:49,213 --> 00:45:51,409 Well, things have sure simmered down upstairs. 971 00:45:51,515 --> 00:45:53,848 Yeah, upstairs. 972 00:45:53,951 --> 00:45:56,420 Hey, Pa, Hoss! 973 00:45:56,520 --> 00:45:57,544 Hey! 974 00:45:57,655 --> 00:46:00,819 Take a look at this. 975 00:46:00,925 --> 00:46:02,188 Hey, where'd you find this? 976 00:46:02,293 --> 00:46:03,533 Found it on the bunkhouse door. 977 00:46:03,628 --> 00:46:05,392 Hoss, listen to this: 978 00:46:05,496 --> 00:46:08,489 "Dear Hoss, Little Joe and Mr. Cartwright. 979 00:46:08,599 --> 00:46:11,000 "Please forgive us for going like this 980 00:46:11,102 --> 00:46:12,502 "but it could not be helped. 981 00:46:12,603 --> 00:46:16,131 "Jed and Ned need us more than Hoss ever will. 982 00:46:16,240 --> 00:46:19,768 "And we've discovered we need them. 983 00:46:19,877 --> 00:46:23,279 "Please don't worry about your double-seated buckboard 984 00:46:23,381 --> 00:46:25,213 "as we shall return it after the wedding. 985 00:46:25,316 --> 00:46:27,842 Your friends forever, Yvette and Libby." 986 00:46:27,952 --> 00:46:28,952 Hot dogs! 987 00:46:28,986 --> 00:46:30,477 Hey, Pa, I-I'm a free man! 988 00:46:30,588 --> 00:46:31,932 Hey, wait a minute, wait a minute, come here. 989 00:46:31,956 --> 00:46:34,391 There's more. 990 00:46:34,492 --> 00:46:36,927 Hmm. "We all hope Annie and Hoss 991 00:46:37,028 --> 00:46:40,260 will be very, very happy." 992 00:46:42,233 --> 00:46:45,635 Well, Rome wasn't built in a day. 993 00:46:45,736 --> 00:46:47,227 It ain't Rome I'm worried about. 994 00:46:47,338 --> 00:46:48,465 It's me. 995 00:47:03,154 --> 00:47:04,884 Uh, gentlemen? 996 00:47:06,190 --> 00:47:07,988 I'm sure we're all agreed 997 00:47:08,092 --> 00:47:09,890 that motherhood is an indispensible 998 00:47:09,994 --> 00:47:11,257 and noble role. 999 00:47:11,362 --> 00:47:13,160 Don't make a speech, just tell them. 1000 00:47:13,264 --> 00:47:15,927 Yes, uh, Mr. Cartwright, Hoss, 1001 00:47:16,033 --> 00:47:19,561 every child like my little dear Jenny needs a mother. 1002 00:47:19,670 --> 00:47:22,230 Yes, yes, a proper mother. 1003 00:47:22,340 --> 00:47:23,774 Exactly, sir. 1004 00:47:23,874 --> 00:47:26,503 Someone who would love and cherish her 1005 00:47:26,610 --> 00:47:27,873 as-as you do. 1006 00:47:27,978 --> 00:47:31,540 Um, my very own thoughts, Mr. Cartwright. 1007 00:47:31,649 --> 00:47:33,550 You know, I've been thinking about that. 1008 00:47:33,651 --> 00:47:35,279 I've been thinking that... 1009 00:47:35,386 --> 00:47:38,083 actually Annie and-and Hoss 1010 00:47:38,189 --> 00:47:41,250 could learn to love and cherish Jenny. 1011 00:47:41,359 --> 00:47:44,591 That is if she's, uh, if she's up for adoption. 1012 00:47:44,695 --> 00:47:49,556 Adopt... Well, uh, that's not exactly 1013 00:47:49,667 --> 00:47:52,068 what I had in view now. 1014 00:47:52,169 --> 00:47:54,661 Of course, certainly, Hoss is... 1015 00:47:54,772 --> 00:47:58,436 well, he's a, he's a fetching and a fascinating fella... 1016 00:47:58,542 --> 00:48:00,204 Muscular, handsome 1017 00:48:00,311 --> 00:48:02,803 and quite a brain, too, I might say. 1018 00:48:04,215 --> 00:48:06,582 But I, I've never dared hoped, uh... 1019 00:48:06,684 --> 00:48:09,051 What he's trying to say is that, uh, 1020 00:48:09,153 --> 00:48:11,315 well, I can't marry Hoss. 1021 00:48:12,423 --> 00:48:13,618 You can't? 1022 00:48:13,724 --> 00:48:15,886 You can't marry Hoss? 1023 00:48:15,993 --> 00:48:17,791 Nope. 1024 00:48:17,895 --> 00:48:21,326 No, because, uh, I'm, uh, 1025 00:48:21,432 --> 00:48:22,900 I'm gonna marry him. 1026 00:48:32,410 --> 00:48:34,743 You see, th-this funny little Irish fella, 1027 00:48:34,845 --> 00:48:37,144 he, uh, well, he really needs me. 1028 00:48:37,248 --> 00:48:39,808 And, well, so does that sweet little Jenny. 1029 00:48:39,917 --> 00:48:43,750 And, so, uh, well, you understand, 1030 00:48:43,854 --> 00:48:45,083 don't you, Hoss? 1031 00:48:50,694 --> 00:48:53,892 Well, I'll, I'll tell you, Miss Annie... 1032 00:48:53,998 --> 00:48:55,990 It ain't gonna be easy. 1033 00:49:01,405 --> 00:49:03,897 But... doggone it, 1034 00:49:04,008 --> 00:49:05,840 the best man won, so congratulations! 1035 00:49:05,943 --> 00:49:08,435 Uh, thank you, Hoss. 1036 00:49:08,546 --> 00:49:10,139 Congratulations! My goodness, yes. 1037 00:49:10,247 --> 00:49:11,738 And my very best wishes to you. 1038 00:49:11,849 --> 00:49:13,293 - All the luck in the world. - We're gonna have a wedding 1039 00:49:13,317 --> 00:49:14,751 at the Ponderosa after all! 1040 00:49:14,852 --> 00:49:17,292 Dad-burnit, and I'm gonna give the brides away... all of them! 1041 00:49:27,465 --> 00:49:28,694 Snookums! 1042 00:50:33,764 --> 00:50:35,342 This has been a color production 1043 00:50:35,366 --> 00:50:37,198 of the NBC Television Network. 68331

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