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WWW.MY-SUBS.COM
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[GEORGE MICHAEL'S "FAITH" PLAYING]
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[TAPE REWINDING]
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♪ Faith, faith, faith ♪
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♪ Baby ♪
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♪ I know you're asking me to stay ♪
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♪ Say please, please,
please don't go away ♪
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♪ You say I'm giving you the blues ♪
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♪ Maybe ♪
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♪ Huh! ♪
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♪ You mean ♪
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- ♪ Every word you say ♪
- [POPPING LOUDLY]
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♪ Can't help but think ♪
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♪ Of yesterday ♪
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♪ And another who tied me down ♪
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♪ To lover boy rules... ♪
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ADULT SHELDON: My father
took pride in saying
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that he ran our house like a tight ship.
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The ship got a lot looser when
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- my meemaw came over to babysit.
- [FIRECRACKER POPS]
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I bet a nickel.
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Hang on there a minute, moon pie.
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I want to teach you somethin'.
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Look at your cards,
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and then look in the mirror.
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Hey, I'm smiling.
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- [FIRECRACKER POPS]
- Uh-huh.
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And what does that
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tell me about your cards?
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That I like them?
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Attaboy. Now...
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look at my face.
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- [FIRECRACKER POPS]
- Tell me
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what you see.
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That you're old.
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It's a good thing I love you.
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I'm gonna look at my cards again.
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You're unhappy.
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Which means...?
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You don't have good cards.
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- Mm-hmm.
- [FIRECRACKER POPS]
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So...
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I'm gonna see your nickel...
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- and raise you a quarter.
- Quarter?
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You can fold.
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No. I have good cards,
you have bad cards.
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I'm in.
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- Nines and fives.
- Mm.
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That's too bad.
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Three queens. You lose!
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- [LAUGHING]
- What?
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But you weren't happy.
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- I made you think I was unhappy.
- But that's lying.
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You lied to your moon pie.
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I bluffed my moon pie.
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- Do people know about this?
- Sheldon,
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what's on a person's face
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is not always what's in their heart.
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Well, this changes everything.
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How do you know who to trust?
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You don't.
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That's what makes life interesting.
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ADULT SHELDON: Meemaw liked to teach me
things that kept me awake at night.
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MARY: Mom, we're home!
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In here!
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What's he doing up?
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Losin'.
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[FIRECRACKER POPS]
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Hell is that?
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I sent Georgie on a beer run,
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and tipped him with firecrackers.
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Oh, Mom.
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- [DOOR OPENS]
- Was I supposed to stiff him?
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I ate so much candy!
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Okay.
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They're all yours.
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[CHUCKLES]
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[FIRECRACKER POPS]
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- ♪ Faith, faith, faith. ♪
- [GROANS]
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♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪
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♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪
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♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪
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♪ I am a mighty little man ♪
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- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
-- www.MY-SUBS.com --
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Sometimes people say
to me, "Pastor Jeff,
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how do you know there's a God?"
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And I say, "It's simple math.
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God either exists or he doesn't."
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[CHUCKLES]: So let's be cynical.
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Worst-case scenario,
there's a 50-50 chance.
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And I like those odds.
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That's wrong.
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Shelly, put your hand down.
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Sorry. Please continue.
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[CHUCKLES] It's okay, Mary.
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I-It's Sheldon, right?
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- Yes, sir.
- Well, Sheldon,
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why don't you come on up here
and tell me how I'm wrong.
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- No.
- Okay.
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[CHUCKLES] Let's give
him a hand, everybody.
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- Mm.
- What's happening?
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Shelly's gonna eat him alive. [CHUCKLES]
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PASTOR JEFF: So...
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you were saying?
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You've confused possibilities
with probabilities.
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According to your
analogy, when I go home
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I might find a million dollars
on my bed or I might not.
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In what universe is that 50-50?
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[CONGREGATION MURMURING]
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PASTOR JEFF: So what do you think
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the odds are that God exists?
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I think they're zero.
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I believe in science.
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[CONGREGATION OOH'ING, MURMURING]
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PASTOR JEFF: So you don't think
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science and religion
can go hand in hand?
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Science is facts, religion is faith.
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- I prefer facts.
- Mm.
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I understand that.
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Here's a cool fact for ya.
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A lot of famous scientists
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believed in God.
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Isaac Newton.
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Albert Einstein.
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Even Charles Darwin.
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[CONGREGATION AH'ING]
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So Darwin's right about God
and wrong about evolution?
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Now you're gettin' it.
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Let's give it up for Sheldon, everybody.
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What a good sport. Oh.
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[ORGAN PLAYING]
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ADULT SHELDON: But I wasn't a good sport.
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At that moment, I vowed to come back
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the following Sunday
and destroy Pastor Jeff.
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[KNOCKING]
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Uh, hello, Mr. Cooper.
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Is Missy home?
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Hello, Billy. No, she's at church.
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I brought her eggs from my chickens.
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I see that.
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You can boil them or scramble them.
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Okay.
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I like fried.
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Okay.
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I don't like poached.
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Okay.
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Thank you for your time.
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Okay.
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MARY: You want me to cook
those eggs for you, baby?
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No. They're a gift.
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Sorry.
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He even wrote me a note.
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"Eggs from your secret admirer. Billy."
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GEORGE SR. [CALLS]:
Mary, can you come in here?
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I'm cookin'.
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I really need you to come in here.
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What on earth?
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Uh-oh.
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What?
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Listen to this.
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"French philosopher,
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mathematician and
physicist, Blaise Pascal,
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argued a rational person
should believe God exists
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because you have everything
to gain if you're right,
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and nothing to lose if you're wrong."
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Sounds right.
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[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]
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MARY: Meemaw is coming over
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to watch you... I gotta go.
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- Where?
- Daddy's not feeling good.
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We're gonna go see a doctor.
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- Is he okay?
- He's gonna be fine.
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You just sit right there.
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Meemaw's on her way
over to cook you dinner.
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Can we come with you?
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No. Just stay right there, don't move.
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George, let's go.
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How long are we supposed to sit here?
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I don't know.
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She said don't move.
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She was very clear.
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Hope I don't have to go to the bathroom.
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[DOOR OPENS]
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Don't worry!
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Meemaw's here!
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Everything's under control!
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Oh. [CHUCKLES]
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We haven't had dinner yet.
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Really?
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[GROANS]
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I don't feel like cookin'.
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I think my husband's
having a heart attack!
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NURSE: I need an RRT and a crash cart.
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Over here.
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Sir, are you having
chest pains right now?
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Yeah, a little bit.
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Any numbness or pain in your arms?
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Maybe this one.
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Shortness of breath?
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Enough questions.
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He's a fat, middle-aged
man with chest pains.
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Do something!
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- All right.
- Sorry about the fat, honey.
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You said you liked me this way.
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[GRUNTS]
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Is Daddy gonna be okay?
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Oh, yeah. Your Pop-Pop used to have
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little chest pains all the time.
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Didn't he die of a heart attack?
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Well, for insurance purposes, yes.
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[DOOR OPENS]
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Hey. What's goin' on?
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Dad's in the hospital.
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00:08:04,540 --> 00:08:06,619
What? Why's Dad in the hospital?
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- He's gonna be fine.
- He had chest pains.
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00:08:08,400 --> 00:08:09,750
He's gonna be fine.
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What are we doin'? Why aren't
we going to the hospital?
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00:08:11,890 --> 00:08:13,650
Nobody's goin' nowhere.
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00:08:13,750 --> 00:08:15,289
We're just gonna stay calm,
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00:08:15,290 --> 00:08:17,789
have a nice dinner, and
wait for your mama to call
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and tell us what's what.
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00:08:19,290 --> 00:08:20,930
I'm not hungry.
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00:08:23,860 --> 00:08:26,629
What did you mean by
"insurance purposes"?
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Just eat.
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[LAUGHTER ON TV]
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What kind of Texan drinks pink wine?
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00:08:39,080 --> 00:08:41,280
[PHONE RINGS]
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00:08:44,350 --> 00:08:45,880
Hello.
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00:08:45,890 --> 00:08:47,449
Hi, Mom. Kids okay?
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00:08:47,450 --> 00:08:49,489
Yeah, they're fine. How's George?
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00:08:49,490 --> 00:08:52,159
I don't know. They're running tests.
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00:08:52,160 --> 00:08:55,529
Well, don't you worry
about us. [CHUCKLES]
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Everything's under control here.
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00:08:58,530 --> 00:09:00,129
Okay.
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00:09:00,130 --> 00:09:02,499
I'll call you when I know more.
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00:09:02,500 --> 00:09:04,399
How you holdin' up?
236
00:09:04,400 --> 00:09:06,500
I guess I'm okay.
237
00:09:06,510 --> 00:09:08,990
Well, George is gonna
pull through this, honey.
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00:09:09,000 --> 00:09:11,109
I guarantee it.
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00:09:11,110 --> 00:09:13,009
Thanks, Mom.
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00:09:13,010 --> 00:09:14,779
Thanks for bein' there.
241
00:09:14,780 --> 00:09:16,410
You bet.
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00:09:16,420 --> 00:09:18,219
I'll call you later.
243
00:09:18,220 --> 00:09:19,380
Okay.
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00:09:19,390 --> 00:09:20,850
Bye.
245
00:09:22,020 --> 00:09:24,189
What'd she say?
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00:09:24,190 --> 00:09:27,509
The doctors are doin' some
tests, but, dollars to donuts,
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00:09:27,510 --> 00:09:30,259
your daddy's just got a bad case of gas.
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00:09:30,260 --> 00:09:32,629
Y'all two go get ready for bed.
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00:09:32,630 --> 00:09:34,340
I don't want to stay around here.
250
00:09:34,350 --> 00:09:36,489
I want to go to the
hospital and see Dad.
251
00:09:36,490 --> 00:09:38,739
Well, I want to go to Las
Vegas and see Willie Nelson,
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00:09:38,740 --> 00:09:40,739
but that ain't gonna happen either.
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00:09:40,740 --> 00:09:42,709
This is stupid.
254
00:09:42,710 --> 00:09:44,239
You know what's stupid?
255
00:09:44,240 --> 00:09:46,129
I got to drink pink wine!
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00:09:46,130 --> 00:09:47,130
[DOOR SLAMS]
257
00:09:47,140 --> 00:09:48,409
Meemaw?
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00:09:48,410 --> 00:09:49,610
What?
259
00:09:49,620 --> 00:09:51,480
Is Dad really okay?
260
00:09:52,320 --> 00:09:53,919
Yes.
261
00:09:53,920 --> 00:09:56,090
I hope you're not bluffing.
262
00:10:05,100 --> 00:10:07,429
You asleep?
263
00:10:07,430 --> 00:10:09,630
No.
264
00:10:09,640 --> 00:10:11,569
Me neither.
265
00:10:11,570 --> 00:10:14,610
Every time the phone
rings, I get scared.
266
00:10:16,940 --> 00:10:18,509
Me, too.
267
00:10:18,510 --> 00:10:20,740
[KNOCKING]
268
00:10:20,750 --> 00:10:23,110
I'm goin' to see Dad.
You guys want to come?
269
00:10:23,120 --> 00:10:26,119
How? Meemaw said we have to stay here.
270
00:10:26,120 --> 00:10:28,290
You want to go or not?
271
00:10:29,960 --> 00:10:32,460
♪ ♪
272
00:10:35,660 --> 00:10:37,130
Shh.
273
00:10:38,300 --> 00:10:40,260
Shh.
274
00:10:40,270 --> 00:10:42,179
Who do I shush?
275
00:10:42,180 --> 00:10:44,100
- Shh!
- Shh!
276
00:10:47,370 --> 00:10:49,570
[SNORES SOFTLY]
277
00:11:01,790 --> 00:11:03,050
[KEYS JANGLE]
278
00:11:05,460 --> 00:11:07,120
[QUIETLY]: What are you doing?
279
00:11:07,130 --> 00:11:08,889
I'm driving to the hospital.
280
00:11:08,890 --> 00:11:11,459
You can come with me or
stay here... up to you.
281
00:11:11,460 --> 00:11:13,529
I'm comin'.
282
00:11:13,530 --> 00:11:14,749
Sheldon?
283
00:11:14,750 --> 00:11:15,999
You're 14.
284
00:11:16,000 --> 00:11:17,699
You don't know how to drive.
285
00:11:17,700 --> 00:11:19,439
I drove a tractor at 4-H camp.
286
00:11:19,440 --> 00:11:20,869
It's the same thing.
287
00:11:20,870 --> 00:11:23,239
But you sat on the farmer's lap.
288
00:11:23,240 --> 00:11:24,470
Then stay here.
289
00:11:24,480 --> 00:11:26,040
Come on, Missy.
290
00:11:28,350 --> 00:11:29,580
[SNORES LOUDLY]
291
00:11:31,460 --> 00:11:32,990
[ENGINE STARTS]
292
00:11:34,290 --> 00:11:37,250
- [CLICK]
- ♪ And I whine, I'm after you ♪
293
00:11:37,260 --> 00:11:39,019
What are you doin'?
294
00:11:39,020 --> 00:11:40,689
Travelin' music.
295
00:11:40,690 --> 00:11:42,089
SHELDON: Ugh.
296
00:11:42,090 --> 00:11:43,759
I'm coming with you.
297
00:11:43,760 --> 00:11:45,380
Why are you wearin' my helmet?
298
00:11:45,390 --> 00:11:48,159
I don't expect this to end well.
299
00:11:48,160 --> 00:11:49,490
And the pillows?
300
00:11:49,500 --> 00:11:51,370
Same answer.
301
00:11:52,200 --> 00:11:54,100
Turn it off. I've got to concentrate.
302
00:11:54,110 --> 00:11:55,709
Aw.
303
00:11:55,710 --> 00:11:57,390
- [MUSIC STOPS]
- Okay,
304
00:11:57,400 --> 00:11:59,029
seat belts, everybody.
305
00:11:59,030 --> 00:12:01,309
Please drive slowly.
306
00:12:01,310 --> 00:12:03,240
Relax. I know what I'm doin'.
307
00:12:03,250 --> 00:12:05,249
- Whoa!
- Whoa!
308
00:12:05,250 --> 00:12:07,059
ADULT SHELDON: I've often been asked
309
00:12:07,060 --> 00:12:09,089
why I never learned to drive a car.
310
00:12:09,090 --> 00:12:11,719
This night...
311
00:12:11,720 --> 00:12:14,089
is your answer.
312
00:12:14,090 --> 00:12:15,429
Please slow down.
313
00:12:15,430 --> 00:12:17,329
I'm goin' eight miles an hour.
314
00:12:17,330 --> 00:12:18,730
A cow just passed us.
315
00:12:18,740 --> 00:12:21,529
- Do you know how to get to the hospital?
- Yeah.
316
00:12:21,530 --> 00:12:23,530
It's right across the
street from the Dairy Queen.
317
00:12:23,540 --> 00:12:25,139
Which Dairy Queen?
318
00:12:25,140 --> 00:12:26,569
What are you talkin' about?
319
00:12:26,570 --> 00:12:27,669
There's two.
320
00:12:27,670 --> 00:12:28,809
Really?
321
00:12:28,810 --> 00:12:29,740
You're gonna hit it!
322
00:12:29,741 --> 00:12:31,059
Which is the one Mom takes us to?
323
00:12:31,060 --> 00:12:32,330
You're gonna hit it!
324
00:12:34,880 --> 00:12:37,349
Ooh, you're in trouble now!
325
00:12:37,350 --> 00:12:39,520
[PHONE RINGING]
326
00:13:00,770 --> 00:13:02,409
Yeah?
327
00:13:02,410 --> 00:13:04,709
What took you so long to answer?
328
00:13:04,710 --> 00:13:06,840
Powdering my nose. What's it to ya?
329
00:13:06,850 --> 00:13:10,210
Sorry I asked. Just wanted
to give you an update.
330
00:13:10,220 --> 00:13:12,519
Y... What's goin' on?
331
00:13:12,520 --> 00:13:14,419
They want to run some more tests.
332
00:13:14,420 --> 00:13:16,219
They're gonna hold him overnight.
333
00:13:16,220 --> 00:13:19,469
Oh. Oh, well, that's, that's
nothin' to worry about.
334
00:13:19,470 --> 00:13:21,130
That's just precautionary.
335
00:13:21,140 --> 00:13:22,659
How are the kids?
336
00:13:22,660 --> 00:13:25,049
Oh. [CHUCKLES] They
were a little worried,
337
00:13:25,050 --> 00:13:27,129
but I handled it.
338
00:13:27,130 --> 00:13:28,269
They sleepin'?
339
00:13:28,270 --> 00:13:30,699
Um...
340
00:13:30,700 --> 00:13:32,380
Yeah, yeah.
341
00:13:32,390 --> 00:13:33,939
You bet.
342
00:13:33,940 --> 00:13:35,809
Thanks again for helpin'.
343
00:13:35,810 --> 00:13:37,170
Oh, hey,
344
00:13:37,180 --> 00:13:38,609
these are my grandchildren.
345
00:13:38,610 --> 00:13:40,509
They are my blood.
346
00:13:40,510 --> 00:13:42,410
Okay. I better go.
347
00:13:42,420 --> 00:13:44,580
Okay. We'll talk later.
348
00:13:46,750 --> 00:13:49,080
[EXHALES]
349
00:13:57,460 --> 00:13:59,530
Son of a bitch.
350
00:14:01,700 --> 00:14:03,830
I hate those kids.
351
00:14:03,840 --> 00:14:07,239
♪ ♪
352
00:14:07,240 --> 00:14:09,470
MISSY: Just admit it, we're lost.
353
00:14:09,480 --> 00:14:11,039
We're not lost.
354
00:14:11,040 --> 00:14:13,109
Well, I sure don't see
a hospital anywhere.
355
00:14:13,110 --> 00:14:15,679
Why don't we ask
somebody for directions?
356
00:14:15,680 --> 00:14:18,150
Because we're children in a car, genius.
357
00:14:19,180 --> 00:14:20,580
Dang it!
358
00:14:20,590 --> 00:14:22,419
Are you aiming for them?
359
00:14:22,420 --> 00:14:24,450
Everybody just shut up. I got this.
360
00:14:24,460 --> 00:14:27,320
[SIREN WAILING]
361
00:14:27,330 --> 00:14:30,529
Oh, no. We're going to jail.
362
00:14:30,530 --> 00:14:32,129
Georgie's going to jail.
363
00:14:32,130 --> 00:14:33,699
I'm saying I was kidnapped.
364
00:14:33,700 --> 00:14:35,129
SHELDON: That's a good plan.
365
00:14:35,130 --> 00:14:36,909
You and I were kidnapped.
366
00:14:36,910 --> 00:14:39,369
If I'm going to jail,
we're all going to jail.
367
00:14:39,370 --> 00:14:41,770
Oh, you better pull over.
368
00:14:45,880 --> 00:14:48,549
GEORGE JR.: Oh, thank God.
369
00:14:48,550 --> 00:14:51,210
- Well, don't just sit there... follow it.
- Why?
370
00:14:51,220 --> 00:14:53,619
It's an ambulance... It's
going to the hospital.
371
00:14:53,620 --> 00:14:55,830
Hang on.
372
00:14:58,860 --> 00:15:01,589
MISSY: How about I put
the radio on real low?
373
00:15:01,590 --> 00:15:03,090
GEORGE JR.: Shut up.
374
00:15:04,060 --> 00:15:05,299
Mary.
375
00:15:05,300 --> 00:15:06,399
Mom!
376
00:15:06,400 --> 00:15:08,329
- Where are they?
- Where's who?
377
00:15:08,330 --> 00:15:10,640
More importantly...
378
00:15:13,570 --> 00:15:15,569
- how is George?
- SHELDON: Mom!
379
00:15:15,570 --> 00:15:17,839
- Ah. There they are!
- Hey. Oh.
380
00:15:17,840 --> 00:15:19,440
MEEMAW: Ha! I lost the little rascals
381
00:15:19,450 --> 00:15:21,240
in the... hall.
382
00:15:21,250 --> 00:15:22,949
I want to see Dad.
383
00:15:22,950 --> 00:15:24,049
- Me, too.
- Me, too.
384
00:15:24,050 --> 00:15:25,519
The doctors are with him now.
385
00:15:25,520 --> 00:15:26,780
I'll take you in a bit.
386
00:15:26,790 --> 00:15:28,049
Why are they here?
387
00:15:28,050 --> 00:15:30,019
I think it's obvious.
388
00:15:30,020 --> 00:15:31,789
They love their daddy.
389
00:15:31,790 --> 00:15:34,960
No, I get that. Why
aren't they home in bed?
390
00:15:39,600 --> 00:15:41,699
Well, nobody could sleep.
391
00:15:41,700 --> 00:15:43,970
I thought it was the right thing.
392
00:15:45,970 --> 00:15:47,200
Good bluff.
393
00:15:47,210 --> 00:15:49,169
Shh.
394
00:15:49,170 --> 00:15:50,409
Okay, thank you.
395
00:15:50,410 --> 00:15:52,329
You all need anything? You hungry?
396
00:15:52,330 --> 00:15:53,540
- No.
- No, thank you.
397
00:15:53,550 --> 00:15:55,549
Okay, everybody sit tight.
398
00:15:55,550 --> 00:15:57,320
I'm gonna go check on your dad.
399
00:15:59,380 --> 00:16:00,840
Georgie.
400
00:16:01,750 --> 00:16:03,619
Give me my damn keys.
401
00:16:03,620 --> 00:16:06,059
Oh, yeah. Here.
402
00:16:06,060 --> 00:16:08,260
Thank you.
403
00:16:09,410 --> 00:16:11,409
How did I beat you here?
404
00:16:11,410 --> 00:16:13,510
We kept hitting garbage cans.
405
00:16:13,520 --> 00:16:14,730
Oh, God.
406
00:16:14,740 --> 00:16:16,669
I need to wash my hands.
407
00:16:16,670 --> 00:16:19,600
- There are germs here that can kill you.
- Hold up.
408
00:16:19,610 --> 00:16:22,369
Now, y'all like it when
your meemaw babysits.
409
00:16:22,370 --> 00:16:25,359
Poker, candy, firecrackers.
410
00:16:25,360 --> 00:16:26,779
- Yes.
- Yeah.
411
00:16:26,780 --> 00:16:29,039
Well, if your mother ever finds out
412
00:16:29,040 --> 00:16:30,679
what you did tonight,
413
00:16:30,680 --> 00:16:33,469
that is never gonna happen again.
414
00:16:33,470 --> 00:16:34,999
I can't lie to my mother.
415
00:16:35,000 --> 00:16:37,410
Sure you can. Believe in yourself!
416
00:16:45,230 --> 00:16:47,200
[MONITOR BEEPING STEADILY]
417
00:16:48,830 --> 00:16:50,730
[LABORED BREATHING]
418
00:16:50,740 --> 00:16:52,870
[AMPLIFIED HEARTBEAT]
419
00:16:55,270 --> 00:16:57,070
[RAPID BEEPING]
420
00:17:01,310 --> 00:17:02,550
[WEAK EXHALE]
421
00:17:04,550 --> 00:17:06,550
[AMPLIFIED, RAPID HEARTBEAT]
422
00:17:10,940 --> 00:17:13,110
[PANTS QUIETLY]
423
00:17:33,410 --> 00:17:35,680
♪ ♪
424
00:17:46,350 --> 00:17:48,550
ADULT SHELDON: Despite what it looks like,
425
00:17:48,560 --> 00:17:50,590
I didn't pray to God that night.
426
00:17:50,600 --> 00:17:53,050
I prayed to Blaise Pascal.
427
00:17:53,150 --> 00:17:54,619
My thinking was,
428
00:17:54,620 --> 00:17:57,619
if he was right about
the existence of God,
429
00:17:57,620 --> 00:17:59,730
then he could pass along my request
430
00:17:59,740 --> 00:18:01,839
for my dad to get better.
431
00:18:01,840 --> 00:18:03,809
If he was wrong...
432
00:18:03,810 --> 00:18:05,009
well...
433
00:18:05,010 --> 00:18:08,380
in this moment, I needed him to be right.
434
00:18:13,950 --> 00:18:15,889
What's taking so long?
435
00:18:15,890 --> 00:18:16,909
Shh.
436
00:18:16,910 --> 00:18:19,289
Keep your voice down, car thief.
437
00:18:19,290 --> 00:18:21,689
I didn't steal your
car, I just borrowed it.
438
00:18:21,690 --> 00:18:24,790
You're gonna need to make bail someday.
439
00:18:24,800 --> 00:18:28,199
Do not come to me.
440
00:18:28,200 --> 00:18:29,429
MARY: Good news!
441
00:18:29,430 --> 00:18:30,830
Your daddy's gonna be fine.
442
00:18:30,840 --> 00:18:33,169
- Should be home in a day or two.
- Oh!
443
00:18:33,170 --> 00:18:34,589
And was it a heart attack?
444
00:18:34,590 --> 00:18:36,169
Minor. No permanent damage.
445
00:18:36,170 --> 00:18:38,539
Oh! That's wonderful!
446
00:18:38,540 --> 00:18:40,330
Our prayers have been answered.
447
00:18:41,310 --> 00:18:42,449
Come on, everybody,
448
00:18:42,450 --> 00:18:44,379
let's say hello to your old dad.
449
00:18:44,380 --> 00:18:46,719
♪ ♪
450
00:18:46,720 --> 00:18:47,849
Come on.
451
00:18:47,850 --> 00:18:49,539
ADULT SHELDON: For a brief moment,
452
00:18:49,540 --> 00:18:53,189
I was filled with the
healing power of faith.
453
00:18:53,190 --> 00:18:56,240
Then the next day, we
all got violently ill
454
00:18:56,250 --> 00:18:59,600
from Billy Sparks'
eggs, and I was over it.
455
00:19:02,770 --> 00:19:05,830
I thought I'd talk this
morning about how it all began.
456
00:19:05,930 --> 00:19:09,379
Now, everybody knows how,
on the first day of creation,
457
00:19:09,380 --> 00:19:11,679
God said, "Let there be light."
458
00:19:11,680 --> 00:19:13,609
And there was light.
459
00:19:13,610 --> 00:19:16,910
And when God saw that
light, he knew it was good.
460
00:19:16,920 --> 00:19:18,019
[CONGREGATION MURMURING]
461
00:19:18,020 --> 00:19:19,780
Oh, here we go.
462
00:19:19,790 --> 00:19:21,419
Yes, Sheldon.
463
00:19:21,420 --> 00:19:24,529
You said he didn't create
the sun until day four.
464
00:19:24,530 --> 00:19:25,729
Yeah.
465
00:19:25,730 --> 00:19:28,069
So how could there be
light the first three days?
466
00:19:28,070 --> 00:19:29,790
God is light.
467
00:19:29,800 --> 00:19:31,860
So God's a photon?
468
00:19:34,090 --> 00:19:36,050
God's what made photons possible.
469
00:19:36,060 --> 00:19:37,959
And what day did he do that?
470
00:19:37,960 --> 00:19:39,420
I would think day one.
471
00:19:39,430 --> 00:19:42,529
If I grab my chest and keel over,
maybe we can get out of here.
472
00:19:42,530 --> 00:19:44,269
That's a terrible thing to say.
473
00:19:44,270 --> 00:19:46,339
Because the first day had just begun.
474
00:19:46,340 --> 00:19:47,940
So, before the Big Bang?
475
00:19:47,950 --> 00:19:49,410
There was no Big Bang.
476
00:19:49,420 --> 00:19:50,910
There was only the Word.
477
00:19:50,920 --> 00:19:52,819
Was the word "kaboom"?
478
00:19:52,820 --> 00:19:54,019
Okay, do it.
479
00:19:54,020 --> 00:19:55,159
[GRUNTS]
480
00:19:55,160 --> 00:19:56,359
We gotta go.
481
00:19:56,360 --> 00:19:57,690
[GRUNTING]
482
00:19:57,700 --> 00:19:58,989
MISSY: What's happening?
483
00:19:58,990 --> 00:20:00,640
- Is it over?
- Y-Yes.
484
00:20:01,300 --> 00:20:05,950
- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
-- www.MY-SUBS.com --
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