All language subtitles for Shameless (US) S07E02 Swipe, Fuck, Leave

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,252 --> 00:00:08,213 This is what happens when you miss an episode of "shameless." 2 00:00:08,255 --> 00:00:10,967 Your entire life goes completely to shit. 3 00:00:12,343 --> 00:00:14,136 Anyone try to find me 4 00:00:14,178 --> 00:00:17,306 when I was in the icu for the last month? 5 00:00:17,348 --> 00:00:18,891 We were kind of hoping you were dead. 6 00:00:18,933 --> 00:00:20,267 You good? 7 00:00:20,309 --> 00:00:21,644 I learned I'm not an alcoholic. 8 00:00:21,686 --> 00:00:23,145 What about finishing college? Is that off the table? 9 00:00:23,187 --> 00:00:24,647 I got a professor. 10 00:00:24,689 --> 00:00:26,231 Uh, he's gonna help me find something...A tech startup. 11 00:00:26,273 --> 00:00:28,484 It just might be a while before I get paid, you know? 12 00:00:28,526 --> 00:00:30,611 This management thing is a pain in my ass. 13 00:00:30,653 --> 00:00:31,487 I'm losing money. 14 00:00:31,529 --> 00:00:32,738 Tell you what. Pay yourself 15 00:00:32,780 --> 00:00:34,573 an extra 50¢ an hour, make up the difference. 16 00:00:34,615 --> 00:00:36,617 - An extra buck an hour. - Done. 17 00:00:38,870 --> 00:00:40,830 Nice stroller. Where'd you get it? 18 00:00:40,872 --> 00:00:43,290 Oh, I found it in the park; I'm gonna sell it. 19 00:00:43,332 --> 00:00:45,710 Dom won't go down on me 'cause I'm not circumcised. 20 00:00:45,751 --> 00:00:49,213 It has all this extra skin, and it kind of freaks me out. 21 00:00:49,254 --> 00:00:50,715 I can't feel a thing. 22 00:00:50,756 --> 00:00:52,299 Don't worry. 23 00:00:52,341 --> 00:00:54,050 You will soon. 24 00:00:54,092 --> 00:00:56,094 I'm meeting an old high school friend for dinner. 25 00:00:56,136 --> 00:00:57,930 - An old friend? - Denise. 26 00:00:57,972 --> 00:00:59,974 Please tell me she has a dick. 27 00:01:00,016 --> 00:01:02,685 You have no balance sheet, no income or cash flow forecast. 28 00:01:02,727 --> 00:01:05,688 Our yield on gross revenues are shit. 29 00:01:05,730 --> 00:01:07,481 Are we seriously not gonna have sex? 30 00:01:07,523 --> 00:01:08,566 'Cause I kind of took a Viagra. 31 00:01:10,067 --> 00:01:13,404 Oh, yeah, just walk right by, ignore your father 32 00:01:13,445 --> 00:01:16,114 that you tried to drown in the river. 33 00:01:16,156 --> 00:01:17,658 I was only telling the truth! 34 00:01:19,744 --> 00:01:22,705 ♪ Rock music ♪ 35 00:01:26,584 --> 00:01:29,503 ♪ think of all the luck you got ♪ 36 00:01:29,545 --> 00:01:32,965 ♪ know that it's not for naught ♪ 37 00:01:33,007 --> 00:01:36,260 ♪ you were beaming once before ♪ 38 00:01:36,301 --> 00:01:40,639 ♪ but it's not like that anymore ♪ 39 00:01:40,681 --> 00:01:43,893 ♪ what is this downside ♪ 40 00:01:43,935 --> 00:01:47,354 ♪ that you speak of? ♪ 41 00:01:47,396 --> 00:01:49,732 ♪ What is this feeling ♪ 42 00:01:49,774 --> 00:01:52,401 ♪ you're so sure of? ♪ 43 00:02:00,868 --> 00:02:04,162 ♪ Round up the friends you got ♪ 44 00:02:04,204 --> 00:02:07,291 ♪ know that they're not for naught ♪ 45 00:02:07,332 --> 00:02:10,628 ♪ you were willing once before ♪ 46 00:02:10,669 --> 00:02:15,132 ♪ but it's not like that anymore ♪ 47 00:02:15,173 --> 00:02:18,427 ♪ what is this downside ♪ 48 00:02:18,469 --> 00:02:21,639 ♪ that you speak of? ♪ 49 00:02:21,680 --> 00:02:24,058 ♪ What is this feeling ♪ 50 00:02:24,100 --> 00:02:27,728 ♪ you're so sure of? ♪ 51 00:02:30,648 --> 00:02:32,399 Come on, frank! 52 00:02:32,441 --> 00:02:34,318 Open the damn door! 53 00:02:36,194 --> 00:02:37,822 Come on, frank! 54 00:02:41,283 --> 00:02:42,326 Open the door. 55 00:02:48,124 --> 00:02:49,374 Hey, Hector? 56 00:02:49,416 --> 00:02:50,960 Hi, it's Fiona. 57 00:02:51,002 --> 00:02:52,377 Oh, shit. Hang on! 58 00:02:54,505 --> 00:02:56,256 Hi, you still there? 59 00:02:56,298 --> 00:02:58,050 Sorry. Uh... 60 00:02:58,092 --> 00:02:59,301 Can you work today? 61 00:02:59,343 --> 00:03:01,846 Santos called in sick again. 62 00:03:01,887 --> 00:03:05,516 Yeah, I'm tired of his bullshit, too. 63 00:03:05,557 --> 00:03:07,101 You can? 64 00:03:07,143 --> 00:03:08,352 Oh, that's great. Okay. 65 00:03:08,393 --> 00:03:10,270 I'll see you at ten. 66 00:03:22,074 --> 00:03:24,035 I thought you were living at Caleb's? 67 00:03:24,076 --> 00:03:25,703 Caleb's sleeping with a chick. 68 00:03:25,744 --> 00:03:28,330 - He's bi? - No dude is bi, all right? 69 00:03:28,372 --> 00:03:30,124 You lick dick, you're supposed to be gay. 70 00:03:30,166 --> 00:03:32,501 So you guys broke up? 71 00:03:32,543 --> 00:03:34,795 Haven't decided yet. Probably. 72 00:03:34,837 --> 00:03:37,506 God, I can't believe he's licking vag, too. 73 00:03:37,548 --> 00:03:40,592 All right, can you guys please stop talking about licking vag? 74 00:03:40,634 --> 00:03:42,761 - You're gonna give me a boner. - You sleep at all last night? 75 00:03:42,803 --> 00:03:45,430 No, if I wake up with morning wood, it'll pop my stitches. 76 00:03:45,472 --> 00:03:48,266 You're 16. How are you gonna not get wood for 72 hours? 77 00:03:48,308 --> 00:03:49,977 Eyes on the prize, my brother. 78 00:03:50,019 --> 00:03:51,311 Yeah, which is? 79 00:03:51,353 --> 00:03:53,271 A blowie from Dominique. 80 00:03:53,313 --> 00:03:55,691 The chick who made you cut your dick? 81 00:03:55,733 --> 00:03:57,484 Yeah, man, no girl's worth that. 82 00:03:57,526 --> 00:03:58,861 She didn't make me. 83 00:03:58,903 --> 00:04:00,487 I wanted to. 84 00:04:00,529 --> 00:04:02,656 You guys just don't understand true love. 85 00:04:02,698 --> 00:04:04,324 Uh, you know, it's pretty cold out there. 86 00:04:04,366 --> 00:04:05,910 You better put on a turtleneck. 87 00:04:05,951 --> 00:04:07,912 Oh, oh! Excuse you. 88 00:04:07,953 --> 00:04:10,330 Oh, you got to forgive Carl; His manners were in his foreskin. 89 00:04:10,372 --> 00:04:12,624 Uh, stop it! It just gives me the willies 90 00:04:12,666 --> 00:04:14,334 thinking about someone near my junk with a knife. 91 00:04:14,376 --> 00:04:15,961 Where is my vacuum cleaner? 92 00:04:16,003 --> 00:04:19,423 - Upstairs probably. - Kev, grab our cleaning shit. 93 00:04:19,464 --> 00:04:21,175 What's all that crap? 94 00:04:21,217 --> 00:04:23,427 I'm helping Fiona with the bills over at patsy's. 95 00:04:23,468 --> 00:04:25,137 Place is in a financial shitstorm. 96 00:04:25,179 --> 00:04:26,555 Yeah, the alibi, too. 97 00:04:26,597 --> 00:04:28,599 Svetlana's getting things in order, 98 00:04:28,640 --> 00:04:30,809 which makes me the house husband. 99 00:04:30,851 --> 00:04:32,644 I keep forgetting about the weird situation 100 00:04:32,686 --> 00:04:34,396 you got going on with the two wives. 101 00:04:34,438 --> 00:04:36,148 It's not weird. It's modern. 102 00:04:36,190 --> 00:04:38,025 You're gonna have to draw me a venn diagram 103 00:04:38,067 --> 00:04:39,401 to explain how that works. 104 00:04:39,443 --> 00:04:40,444 What's up with mopey? 105 00:04:40,485 --> 00:04:41,820 Ah, boy trouble. 106 00:04:41,862 --> 00:04:44,698 Girl trouble. 107 00:04:44,740 --> 00:04:48,202 I'll draw you a venn diagram to explain that, too. 108 00:04:48,244 --> 00:04:49,828 Where's my vacuum? 109 00:04:49,870 --> 00:04:50,913 What are you doing? 110 00:04:50,955 --> 00:04:52,915 Uh, vacuum, hall closet. 111 00:04:52,957 --> 00:04:54,541 And I'm getting rid of frank's shit. 112 00:04:54,583 --> 00:04:56,460 That fuckhead's back in the house? 113 00:04:56,501 --> 00:04:59,671 Yeah, nailed the door shut from the inside. 114 00:04:59,713 --> 00:05:01,590 - How's he getting in and out? - I don't know. 115 00:05:01,632 --> 00:05:03,508 Window? Ladder? 116 00:05:03,550 --> 00:05:05,677 Get a restraining order on his ass. 117 00:05:05,719 --> 00:05:07,512 That would mean that I cared. 118 00:05:07,554 --> 00:05:09,265 And I don't anymore. 119 00:05:09,306 --> 00:05:12,101 Aren't you angry with him about destroying your future? 120 00:05:15,771 --> 00:05:17,856 Did me a favor. 121 00:05:17,898 --> 00:05:20,651 Come on, help me bring his crap downstairs. 122 00:05:23,487 --> 00:05:26,782 Good morning, my wasted sperms. 123 00:05:26,824 --> 00:05:28,450 Frank, you're walking. 124 00:05:28,492 --> 00:05:29,785 In a weird way, but you're walking. 125 00:05:29,827 --> 00:05:31,453 Why don't you go away, frank? 126 00:05:31,495 --> 00:05:33,998 Is that any way to greet your soon to be ex-father? 127 00:05:34,039 --> 00:05:34,999 Ex-father? 128 00:05:35,040 --> 00:05:36,416 We would be so lucky. 129 00:05:36,458 --> 00:05:39,628 Filling out the paperwork to disinherit 130 00:05:39,670 --> 00:05:41,172 you abortion-should-have-beens. 131 00:05:41,213 --> 00:05:42,298 Disinherit? Wow. 132 00:05:42,338 --> 00:05:43,715 So we don't get that jelly jar? 133 00:05:43,757 --> 00:05:45,259 Or the three pieces of silverware 134 00:05:45,301 --> 00:05:46,384 you stole from the ramada inn? 135 00:05:46,426 --> 00:05:48,179 Or the shame and the embarrassment? 136 00:05:48,220 --> 00:05:49,680 Go ahead, joke all you like. 137 00:05:49,721 --> 00:05:51,765 But once my parental rights are terminated, 138 00:05:51,807 --> 00:05:54,476 you can no longer use the Gallagher family name. 139 00:05:54,518 --> 00:05:56,103 Hallelujah! 140 00:05:56,145 --> 00:05:59,355 I'm just gonna be like Cher and go by Fiona. 141 00:05:59,397 --> 00:06:00,899 Here's your shit. 142 00:06:00,941 --> 00:06:02,400 I'm taking my room back. 143 00:06:02,442 --> 00:06:04,069 And I'm padlocking the house. 144 00:06:04,111 --> 00:06:05,863 Aw, you made me toast. 145 00:06:05,904 --> 00:06:08,032 Thanks. 146 00:06:08,073 --> 00:06:10,159 Buh-bye, got to go to work. 147 00:06:10,201 --> 00:06:12,203 You can't get rid of me that easily. 148 00:06:12,244 --> 00:06:14,788 Has she talked to anybody about what happened at the wedding? 149 00:06:14,830 --> 00:06:16,623 - Not to me. - Me neither. 150 00:06:16,665 --> 00:06:18,876 Tumors are repressed feelings, you know. 151 00:06:18,917 --> 00:06:21,586 - Come on. Liam, let's go. - What? 152 00:06:21,628 --> 00:06:23,547 He's the only one that stands a fighting chance 153 00:06:23,588 --> 00:06:25,257 to become a real Gallagher. 154 00:06:25,299 --> 00:06:26,508 No fucking way! 155 00:06:26,550 --> 00:06:27,885 Eh, you can't just take him, frank. 156 00:06:27,926 --> 00:06:29,845 Yes, I can. I'm his father. 157 00:06:29,887 --> 00:06:32,223 And he is staying in the will. 158 00:06:32,264 --> 00:06:35,059 Aren't you? 159 00:06:37,393 --> 00:06:39,771 Do you think, in his own way, frank's actually 160 00:06:39,813 --> 00:06:41,899 a pretty good dad? 161 00:06:41,940 --> 00:06:43,025 No. 162 00:06:43,067 --> 00:06:44,235 Jesus. 163 00:06:44,276 --> 00:06:45,694 Well, look who it is... 164 00:06:45,736 --> 00:06:47,279 Beauty and the beast. 165 00:06:47,321 --> 00:06:49,323 I'll leave it to you two to figure out who's who. 166 00:06:49,365 --> 00:06:50,574 Too bad you're walking again, frank. 167 00:06:50,615 --> 00:06:52,368 I was praying for permanent paralysis. 168 00:06:52,408 --> 00:06:53,827 Where'd you get the stroller, debs? 169 00:06:53,869 --> 00:06:56,372 The only thing Monica and I could afford 170 00:06:56,412 --> 00:06:59,415 to stroll you guys around in was a kroger shopping cart. 171 00:06:59,457 --> 00:07:01,293 Hey, give me that! It's not yours. 172 00:07:01,335 --> 00:07:04,171 Well, apparently it's not yours either. 173 00:07:04,213 --> 00:07:06,048 - Ugh. - Maureen Wilson. 174 00:07:06,090 --> 00:07:08,050 Looks like you already cleaned out the cash, 175 00:07:08,092 --> 00:07:10,886 little orphan angry, so, uh... 176 00:07:10,928 --> 00:07:12,137 I'll take the platinum. 177 00:07:12,179 --> 00:07:13,847 You can't do that, frank! 178 00:07:13,889 --> 00:07:16,850 Should I call Ms. Wilson, let her know you found it? 179 00:07:16,892 --> 00:07:18,685 Fine, take it. Careful, Liam. 180 00:07:18,727 --> 00:07:21,272 I used to think frank would be a real dad someday, too. 181 00:07:21,313 --> 00:07:24,566 You and that little spic you sneezed out of the cavern 182 00:07:24,608 --> 00:07:26,735 you called your uterus better start looking 183 00:07:26,777 --> 00:07:27,986 for a new last name. 184 00:07:28,028 --> 00:07:29,738 I'm disinheriting both of you 185 00:07:29,780 --> 00:07:31,156 and taking back the Gallagher name. 186 00:07:31,198 --> 00:07:32,657 Gladly. 187 00:07:32,699 --> 00:07:34,701 And while I'm at it, franny's gonna go 188 00:07:34,743 --> 00:07:36,787 by her middle name from now on...Harriet. 189 00:07:36,828 --> 00:07:38,956 Harry. So she has no more connection to you. 190 00:07:38,997 --> 00:07:40,624 Harry! 191 00:07:40,665 --> 00:07:43,043 Well, that's a perfect name for the diesel dyke 192 00:07:43,085 --> 00:07:45,337 she's gonna grow up to be someday. 193 00:07:45,379 --> 00:07:47,298 Come on, kid. We got work to do. 194 00:07:47,339 --> 00:07:49,091 Hey, Carl. 195 00:07:49,133 --> 00:07:50,759 Hey, bunch of us are going to the movies tonight. 196 00:07:50,801 --> 00:07:52,303 You want to come? 197 00:07:52,344 --> 00:07:54,430 I told you, I can't hang out with you for 72 hours. 198 00:07:54,471 --> 00:07:56,014 Thought that meant we just couldn't fool around. 199 00:07:56,056 --> 00:07:58,142 Even just being in your vicinity gives me a boner. 200 00:07:58,183 --> 00:07:59,935 That's so sweet. 201 00:07:59,977 --> 00:08:01,019 Seriously, stop. 202 00:08:01,061 --> 00:08:03,105 Hey, freak fuck! 203 00:08:03,147 --> 00:08:05,816 Heard you got a tranny operation. 204 00:08:05,857 --> 00:08:07,651 I only told a couple of people. 205 00:08:07,692 --> 00:08:08,986 Got your penis chopped off. 206 00:08:09,027 --> 00:08:10,528 Now you're a lady. 207 00:08:10,570 --> 00:08:12,323 Not that you were that far off to begin with. 208 00:08:12,364 --> 00:08:14,158 See you around, Bruce jenner. 209 00:08:14,199 --> 00:08:15,993 Hey, Bruce jenner was the dude, so fuck you guys. 210 00:08:16,034 --> 00:08:17,577 Thanks for the compliment. 211 00:08:17,619 --> 00:08:19,204 Don't listen to them. 212 00:08:19,246 --> 00:08:21,039 Okay, I think you're manly for what you did. 213 00:08:21,081 --> 00:08:25,127 And when the 72 hours and one second is over, 214 00:08:25,169 --> 00:08:28,588 I'm gonna loosen your belt, 215 00:08:28,630 --> 00:08:30,341 then take off your pants... 216 00:08:30,382 --> 00:08:31,675 - No. - Then your underwear. 217 00:08:31,716 --> 00:08:33,593 No, no, stop. 218 00:08:33,635 --> 00:08:36,054 - Then suck your lollipop. - I'm serious. 219 00:08:36,096 --> 00:08:37,514 Oh, fuck. 220 00:08:37,555 --> 00:08:40,225 I thought you said I just couldn't go near you. 221 00:08:40,267 --> 00:08:41,893 Where are you going? We have class. 222 00:08:41,935 --> 00:08:44,104 Doctor, clinic, now. 223 00:08:44,146 --> 00:08:46,273 ♪ Upbeat rock music ♪ 224 00:08:46,315 --> 00:08:48,400 That's a burger well-done, with crispy fries, 225 00:08:48,442 --> 00:08:49,860 and a Denver omelet, extra ham. 226 00:08:49,901 --> 00:08:51,945 And let me get you a refill on these sodas. 227 00:08:51,987 --> 00:08:54,239 Yeah. 228 00:08:54,281 --> 00:08:56,908 We'll get that cleared up for you in just a sec. 229 00:08:56,950 --> 00:08:59,744 - You get my order on 14? - Oh, yeah, I did. 230 00:08:59,786 --> 00:09:01,121 You're two hours late. 231 00:09:01,163 --> 00:09:04,124 I called Melinda. Said it wasn't busy. 232 00:09:04,166 --> 00:09:07,711 So you figured you'd just come in whenever you felt like it? 233 00:09:07,752 --> 00:09:09,296 I had laundry to do. 234 00:09:09,338 --> 00:09:10,672 Melinda was cool with it. 235 00:09:12,216 --> 00:09:14,510 I'm glad you guys feel like you can just change 236 00:09:14,551 --> 00:09:16,011 my schedule whenever you want. 237 00:09:16,053 --> 00:09:20,598 What Sean always let us do. 238 00:09:20,640 --> 00:09:23,935 In case you haven't noticed, Sean's not here anymore. 239 00:09:23,977 --> 00:09:27,272 - Excuse me. - Yeah, that's too bad. 240 00:09:27,314 --> 00:09:28,357 Game change, please hold. 241 00:09:28,399 --> 00:09:29,816 Phillip. Tito. 242 00:09:29,858 --> 00:09:31,485 - Senior intern. - Hey. Nice to meet you. 243 00:09:31,527 --> 00:09:33,070 All right, follow me, I'll show you around. 244 00:09:33,111 --> 00:09:34,612 Uh, you can start by getting coffee 245 00:09:34,654 --> 00:09:35,822 for the three musketeers. 246 00:09:35,864 --> 00:09:37,782 - Who? - The owners, Phillip. 247 00:09:37,824 --> 00:09:39,284 Two million! 248 00:09:44,206 --> 00:09:46,875 This is, uh, Sarah, head of sales and marketing. 249 00:09:46,917 --> 00:09:48,960 Black coffee, extra hot, splash of 2%. 250 00:09:49,002 --> 00:09:51,588 Jesse, I buy ad space on your stupid network every Sunday. 251 00:09:51,629 --> 00:09:54,174 Least you could do is cut me a deal for the playoffs. 252 00:09:54,216 --> 00:09:56,468 Joe, brains behind the operation and the vc guy. 253 00:09:56,510 --> 00:09:57,802 Raised the money to start this place. 254 00:09:57,844 --> 00:09:59,388 - He okay? - Uh, new heated floors. 255 00:09:59,430 --> 00:10:00,847 He gets cold. 256 00:10:00,889 --> 00:10:02,766 Green tea, steeped for three minutes, one truvia. 257 00:10:02,807 --> 00:10:04,059 Gene. Tech. 258 00:10:04,101 --> 00:10:06,144 Four double shots of Espresso before noon, 259 00:10:06,186 --> 00:10:08,397 wears a new pair of socks every day, throws out the old ones. 260 00:10:08,439 --> 00:10:09,731 You'll help him put them on. 261 00:10:09,773 --> 00:10:11,275 He doesn't like to take the goggles off. 262 00:10:11,316 --> 00:10:12,609 - Copy that. - Uh... 263 00:10:12,650 --> 00:10:14,111 Sign is self-explanatory. 264 00:10:14,152 --> 00:10:15,529 Kitchen is yours, too. 265 00:10:15,571 --> 00:10:17,155 There's a grocery list on the bulletin board. 266 00:10:17,197 --> 00:10:18,282 Three million! 267 00:10:18,323 --> 00:10:20,033 All right! Whoo! 268 00:10:22,619 --> 00:10:25,080 Hey, uh, listen, you get paid, you know, 269 00:10:25,122 --> 00:10:26,498 being the senior intern? 270 00:10:26,540 --> 00:10:28,750 No, um, but last senior intern just got a job 271 00:10:28,792 --> 00:10:30,294 at Porsche marketing. 272 00:10:30,335 --> 00:10:34,214 100 grand a year, was only here eight months, so... 273 00:10:34,256 --> 00:10:36,925 But you can get started with the coffee and the tea. 274 00:10:36,967 --> 00:10:38,552 - Yeah. - All right? 275 00:10:38,594 --> 00:10:39,970 And, Phillip? Um... 276 00:10:40,011 --> 00:10:42,222 Get me an iced soy latte. 277 00:10:47,769 --> 00:10:49,605 Home and garden, line four. 278 00:10:49,646 --> 00:10:51,356 Buenos días. 279 00:10:51,398 --> 00:10:52,608 Frank Gallagher. 280 00:10:52,649 --> 00:10:54,485 My son, Liam. 281 00:10:54,526 --> 00:10:56,570 Looking for some workers to help 282 00:10:56,612 --> 00:10:59,323 with a home masonry project. 283 00:10:59,364 --> 00:11:01,825 Pick three guys with a strong physique 284 00:11:01,866 --> 00:11:05,787 and a dumb disposition. 285 00:11:05,829 --> 00:11:09,416 You, you, you. 286 00:11:09,458 --> 00:11:11,335 You make me proud, my one and only son. 287 00:11:11,376 --> 00:11:12,461 Very proud. 288 00:11:12,503 --> 00:11:15,130 Uh, the supplies I need. 289 00:11:16,840 --> 00:11:20,218 Toby, report to hardware. 290 00:11:20,260 --> 00:11:22,137 Frank fucking Gallagher. 291 00:11:23,805 --> 00:11:25,390 You got money for once, frank? 292 00:11:25,432 --> 00:11:26,975 Credit card. 293 00:11:27,017 --> 00:11:30,270 And could I get a $400 cash advance on that card? 294 00:11:30,312 --> 00:11:32,523 And keep $100 for yourself. 295 00:11:32,564 --> 00:11:35,233 Whatever you say, Mrs. Wilson. 296 00:11:42,866 --> 00:11:44,868 Yo. 297 00:11:44,909 --> 00:11:46,870 How come you didn't come home last night 298 00:11:46,911 --> 00:11:48,746 or answer my texts? 299 00:11:48,788 --> 00:11:49,831 Busy. 300 00:11:52,584 --> 00:11:55,379 Care to elaborate? 301 00:11:55,420 --> 00:11:56,880 I don't know, ask Denise. 302 00:11:56,921 --> 00:11:58,674 Is that what this is about? 303 00:11:58,714 --> 00:12:00,258 My high school girlfriend? 304 00:12:00,300 --> 00:12:02,344 Your high school girlfriend who you fuck. 305 00:12:02,386 --> 00:12:03,970 Whoa, whoa, whoa. What are you talking about? 306 00:12:04,012 --> 00:12:06,557 - I saw you with her last night. - You're spying on me? 307 00:12:06,598 --> 00:12:08,933 Yeah, 'cause I knew you'd been cheating on me. 308 00:12:08,975 --> 00:12:10,477 I wasn't cheating. 309 00:12:10,519 --> 00:12:12,354 So you didn't fuck Denise, then? 310 00:12:12,396 --> 00:12:15,148 Cheating would be if I sucked some guy's cock, all right? 311 00:12:15,190 --> 00:12:17,359 - So you didn't sleep with her? - I didn't say that. 312 00:12:17,401 --> 00:12:19,110 - Well, I'm confused. - How do you think I feel? 313 00:12:19,152 --> 00:12:20,487 You're the one calling me a cheater. 314 00:12:20,529 --> 00:12:21,737 You still haven't answered the question. 315 00:12:21,779 --> 00:12:24,740 Did you or did you not fuck Denise? 316 00:12:24,782 --> 00:12:28,078 - What's the big deal? - What's the big deal? 317 00:12:28,119 --> 00:12:29,954 - She's an old friend. - Who you fuck! 318 00:12:29,996 --> 00:12:31,789 We've been sleeping together since we were kids. 319 00:12:31,831 --> 00:12:33,458 Don't make this into something more than it is. 320 00:12:33,500 --> 00:12:34,668 You're taking your dick, 321 00:12:34,710 --> 00:12:36,461 you're putting it into a vagina. 322 00:12:36,503 --> 00:12:38,129 And you're telling me you've never done that before? 323 00:12:38,171 --> 00:12:39,214 No, I haven't! 324 00:12:39,256 --> 00:12:41,466 - I'm gay. - So am I! 325 00:12:41,508 --> 00:12:44,720 Sticking my dick in a friend's vagina doesn't make me not gay. 326 00:12:44,760 --> 00:12:46,221 Are you hearing this, Raul? 327 00:12:46,263 --> 00:12:48,265 This is why I didn't want to tell you... 328 00:12:48,306 --> 00:12:49,600 Because I didn't want you freaking out 329 00:12:49,641 --> 00:12:50,726 the way you are right now. 330 00:12:50,766 --> 00:12:52,394 Oh, gee, sorry. 331 00:12:52,436 --> 00:12:54,521 Hey, how should I react when you say 332 00:12:54,563 --> 00:12:55,647 you've been screwing a woman? 333 00:12:55,689 --> 00:12:57,482 I don't know. 334 00:12:57,524 --> 00:13:00,068 Maybe by being more accepting of your partner's normal, 335 00:13:00,110 --> 00:13:01,903 sexually fluid experiences, 336 00:13:01,945 --> 00:13:04,197 maybe by sharing some of your own. 337 00:13:04,239 --> 00:13:06,241 I don't have anything to share. 338 00:13:06,283 --> 00:13:07,992 I'm gay, all right? 339 00:13:08,034 --> 00:13:09,827 100% gay. 340 00:13:09,869 --> 00:13:12,830 - No one's 100% anything. - Yeah, well, I am, all right? 341 00:13:12,872 --> 00:13:15,333 So now this inexperienced vagina-fucker 342 00:13:15,375 --> 00:13:18,169 has got to get to work. 343 00:13:23,341 --> 00:13:25,009 Uh, you Trisha? 344 00:13:25,051 --> 00:13:26,261 I am. 345 00:13:26,303 --> 00:13:27,803 It's brand-new. 346 00:13:45,530 --> 00:13:47,282 How much did you want, again? 347 00:13:47,324 --> 00:13:49,993 Like I said in the ad, at the store, it's 2,500, 348 00:13:50,034 --> 00:13:51,911 but I can let it go for two. 349 00:13:51,953 --> 00:13:53,455 How about 1,500? 350 00:13:53,497 --> 00:13:55,039 You're haggling with me? 351 00:13:55,081 --> 00:13:57,668 Isn't that what Craigslist is all about? 352 00:13:57,709 --> 00:14:00,044 It's also about people advertising baby stuff, 353 00:14:00,086 --> 00:14:02,255 and when the pregnant lady shows up, 354 00:14:02,297 --> 00:14:04,174 they cut the baby out of her stomach. 355 00:14:04,215 --> 00:14:07,177 ♪ Upbeat music ♪ 356 00:14:10,013 --> 00:14:11,765 You doing all right? 357 00:14:11,807 --> 00:14:14,225 You're sewing on my penis. You tell me. 358 00:14:14,267 --> 00:14:17,853 You don't have a lot of undamaged skin left down here. 359 00:14:17,895 --> 00:14:20,106 Yeah, because you chopped it all off. 360 00:14:20,148 --> 00:14:22,442 I warned you this would be difficult. 361 00:14:22,484 --> 00:14:25,111 It's harder than I thought to not get an erection. 362 00:14:25,153 --> 00:14:28,072 You can get through this, son. Just put your mind to it. 363 00:14:28,114 --> 00:14:30,950 I literally think about sex 70,000 times a day. 364 00:14:30,992 --> 00:14:33,662 Have to find other things to focus on. 365 00:14:33,704 --> 00:14:35,580 Like what? 366 00:14:35,622 --> 00:14:37,290 Hairy balls can work. 367 00:14:37,332 --> 00:14:39,584 Or your grandmother naked. 368 00:14:39,626 --> 00:14:41,419 I've even had patients suggest to me 369 00:14:41,461 --> 00:14:43,714 that watching Ted Cruz on cspan 370 00:14:43,755 --> 00:14:46,216 is an effective measure for preventing an erection. 371 00:14:50,136 --> 00:14:52,347 Okay, guys, here's your snappy. 372 00:14:52,389 --> 00:14:54,307 Snap, snap, snap, snap, snap. 373 00:14:54,349 --> 00:14:56,601 Here's...i don't know what this is, but you guys like it, 374 00:14:56,643 --> 00:14:57,894 and here's your tennis racket. 375 00:14:57,935 --> 00:14:59,604 All right, you guys play. 376 00:14:59,646 --> 00:15:01,606 Daddy's got to clean this place up, all right? 377 00:15:01,648 --> 00:15:03,650 Yevgeny, get that out of your mouth! 378 00:15:03,692 --> 00:15:05,861 What are you doing, man? You're gonna light yourself up 379 00:15:05,902 --> 00:15:07,987 like a Christmas tree. How'd you get my phone? 380 00:15:08,029 --> 00:15:11,074 How'd you get my phone? Come on, now. 381 00:15:11,115 --> 00:15:12,659 I got to move all these weights. 382 00:15:12,701 --> 00:15:14,369 I got to clean this place up. 383 00:15:14,411 --> 00:15:17,581 Okay, let me just take a break here for just a second. 384 00:15:17,622 --> 00:15:20,458 You know what? I'm gonna use you as my weights. 385 00:15:20,500 --> 00:15:21,877 Don't worry, Gemma. 386 00:15:21,918 --> 00:15:23,795 I'll use you in my next set. 387 00:15:23,837 --> 00:15:26,005 - Whee! - Whee! 388 00:15:26,047 --> 00:15:27,382 Whee! 389 00:15:27,424 --> 00:15:28,717 Shit, you are heavy. 390 00:15:33,847 --> 00:15:37,141 ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪ 391 00:15:37,183 --> 00:15:40,186 ♪ happy birthday to you ♪ 392 00:15:40,228 --> 00:15:43,857 ♪ happy birthday, dear sherrie ♪ 393 00:15:43,899 --> 00:15:46,777 ♪ happy birthday to you ♪ 394 00:15:56,160 --> 00:15:57,621 Excuse me? 395 00:15:57,662 --> 00:15:59,915 I'm looking for Chad. Is he around? 396 00:15:59,956 --> 00:16:01,666 Chad! 397 00:16:09,758 --> 00:16:11,259 Okay. 398 00:16:11,301 --> 00:16:13,595 Thank you. 399 00:16:13,637 --> 00:16:15,931 Actually, uh, sorry to bother you. 400 00:16:15,972 --> 00:16:17,974 I work at patsy's. I wanted to let Chad know... 401 00:16:18,015 --> 00:16:19,225 Where? 402 00:16:19,267 --> 00:16:20,602 Patsy's... 403 00:16:20,644 --> 00:16:22,771 Pies. 404 00:16:22,813 --> 00:16:24,606 Oh, yeah, the dump on Franklin. 405 00:16:24,648 --> 00:16:25,857 You know it. 406 00:16:25,899 --> 00:16:27,943 Uh, I've been filling in as manager. 407 00:16:27,984 --> 00:16:30,528 I'd like to quit, go back to waiting tables. 408 00:16:30,570 --> 00:16:33,740 That's fine. Do whatever you want. 409 00:16:33,782 --> 00:16:35,533 Are you allowed to say that? 410 00:16:35,575 --> 00:16:37,535 I mean, don't you have to run it by Chad first? 411 00:16:37,577 --> 00:16:38,954 Red velvet. 412 00:16:38,995 --> 00:16:40,371 I know it's not your favorite, boss, 413 00:16:40,413 --> 00:16:43,040 but sherrie wanted it for her birthday. 414 00:16:43,082 --> 00:16:44,876 Oh. 415 00:16:44,918 --> 00:16:46,628 - Hey. - Hi. 416 00:16:46,670 --> 00:16:48,212 Zoning board is on my ass. 417 00:16:48,254 --> 00:16:50,298 Where is that, uh, environmental impact study 418 00:16:50,340 --> 00:16:51,549 for the redevelopment project? 419 00:16:51,591 --> 00:16:53,510 - Which one? - The West Side. 420 00:16:53,551 --> 00:16:56,429 I'll call Fitz, tell him we need it asap. 421 00:16:56,471 --> 00:16:58,055 Oh, and this one. 422 00:16:58,097 --> 00:17:00,851 She works at that shithole over on Franklin. 423 00:17:00,892 --> 00:17:03,060 - Patsy's. - Yeah, she wants to quit. 424 00:17:03,102 --> 00:17:04,896 - You do? - Well, as manager. 425 00:17:04,938 --> 00:17:06,606 I want to go back to waiting tables. 426 00:17:06,648 --> 00:17:09,025 - We should just shut it down. - What? 427 00:17:09,066 --> 00:17:11,695 Eh, it's just...It's not worth the aggravation. 428 00:17:11,736 --> 00:17:14,030 - Well, you can't close it. - Why not? 429 00:17:14,071 --> 00:17:15,615 I depend upon it to feed my family. 430 00:17:15,657 --> 00:17:17,158 You just quit. 431 00:17:17,200 --> 00:17:18,952 That's the problem with having a family. 432 00:17:18,994 --> 00:17:20,996 Well, I didn't think it would lead to you closing it. 433 00:17:21,037 --> 00:17:22,789 Well, it's on its last legs, anyway. 434 00:17:22,831 --> 00:17:24,499 We're planning on redeveloping that whole block. 435 00:17:24,541 --> 00:17:26,334 You sure? 436 00:17:26,376 --> 00:17:28,085 Remember what happened to that chicken place over on lasalle? 437 00:17:28,127 --> 00:17:29,963 Homeless guy started that kitchen fire to stay warm, 438 00:17:30,005 --> 00:17:31,589 burned half the building down. 439 00:17:31,631 --> 00:17:34,592 If I stayed on as manager, would you keep it open? 440 00:17:34,634 --> 00:17:38,680 Fine. Just don't lose any money. 441 00:17:38,722 --> 00:17:40,891 Well, the only way to do that is to fire people. 442 00:17:40,932 --> 00:17:43,100 I mean, the old manager hired so many unreliable... 443 00:17:43,142 --> 00:17:44,435 Did you hear what I said? 444 00:17:44,477 --> 00:17:46,145 Just keep it afloat. 445 00:17:46,187 --> 00:17:48,899 ♪ Upbeat music ♪ 446 00:17:48,940 --> 00:17:51,150 Okay. 447 00:17:51,192 --> 00:17:53,820 ♪ I'm gonna run with you today ♪ 448 00:17:55,405 --> 00:17:56,573 ♪ I'm gonna run with you... ♪ 449 00:17:56,614 --> 00:17:58,909 Andale, gringos! Andale! 450 00:17:58,950 --> 00:18:00,451 ♪ I'm gonna run around with you ♪ 451 00:18:00,493 --> 00:18:02,579 ♪ some other day ♪ 452 00:18:02,620 --> 00:18:04,998 ♪ I'm gonna run around with you ♪ 453 00:18:05,040 --> 00:18:08,084 ♪ some today ♪ 454 00:18:08,125 --> 00:18:11,922 ♪ I'm gonna be with you today ♪ 455 00:18:15,884 --> 00:18:17,552 Whoo. 456 00:18:17,594 --> 00:18:18,636 Nice wheels. 457 00:18:18,678 --> 00:18:21,973 Ah, thanks, I jacked it... 458 00:18:22,015 --> 00:18:24,059 Or it's one of my boss's cars. 459 00:18:24,100 --> 00:18:25,894 Sent me to get it detailed. 460 00:18:25,936 --> 00:18:27,144 Looks pretty clean already. 461 00:18:27,186 --> 00:18:28,772 Yeah, I was thinking 462 00:18:28,813 --> 00:18:30,398 about just wiping it down, pocketing the 100 bucks. 463 00:18:30,440 --> 00:18:32,609 I don't have a lot of time, so I ordered for you. 464 00:18:32,650 --> 00:18:34,027 Sweet, thanks. 465 00:18:34,069 --> 00:18:35,987 So what's up? 466 00:18:36,029 --> 00:18:37,697 You sounded pretty freaked. 467 00:18:37,739 --> 00:18:39,574 I, uh... 468 00:18:39,616 --> 00:18:42,035 Confronted Caleb about that chick. 469 00:18:42,077 --> 00:18:44,913 He's screwing her. 470 00:18:44,955 --> 00:18:46,790 I guess there's something to be said for honesty, right? 471 00:18:46,831 --> 00:18:49,042 Except he says it's not cheating. 472 00:18:49,084 --> 00:18:50,710 How'd he come up with that reasoning? 473 00:18:50,752 --> 00:18:54,923 Says if it were a guy, then he'd be cheating. 474 00:18:54,965 --> 00:18:58,009 I guess that kind of sort of makes sense. 475 00:18:58,051 --> 00:18:59,886 I'd rather have my girlfriend sleeping with other chicks 476 00:18:59,928 --> 00:19:01,345 than some dude. 477 00:19:01,387 --> 00:19:03,014 - You ever fuck a guy before? - Fuck, no. 478 00:19:03,056 --> 00:19:04,015 'Cause you're 100% straight, right? 479 00:19:04,057 --> 00:19:05,266 Absolutely. 480 00:19:05,308 --> 00:19:06,726 Yeah, well, Caleb's trying to argue 481 00:19:06,768 --> 00:19:09,353 that no one's 100% anything. 482 00:19:09,395 --> 00:19:12,899 It's cheater's logic. 483 00:19:12,941 --> 00:19:14,985 Ever think about experimenting? 484 00:19:15,026 --> 00:19:17,112 With a dude? 485 00:19:17,153 --> 00:19:19,196 No. 486 00:19:19,238 --> 00:19:20,991 Think it makes you less... 487 00:19:21,032 --> 00:19:23,118 Worldly or some shit? 488 00:19:23,159 --> 00:19:25,536 Why? 489 00:19:25,578 --> 00:19:27,789 Are you thinking about experimenting with a chick? 490 00:19:27,831 --> 00:19:30,541 No. 491 00:19:30,583 --> 00:19:32,335 I don't know, maybe. 492 00:19:35,546 --> 00:19:38,174 So what would you do, right? 493 00:19:38,215 --> 00:19:40,093 You're with this chick, bombshell chick, 494 00:19:40,135 --> 00:19:41,845 you're fooling around, you know? 495 00:19:41,886 --> 00:19:44,514 Look down, you realize a guy had joined. 496 00:19:44,555 --> 00:19:47,725 He's sucking your dick. 497 00:19:47,767 --> 00:19:49,686 How far along am I? 498 00:19:49,727 --> 00:19:54,691 - So you're like 93% straight. - It's like 96% straight. 499 00:19:54,732 --> 00:19:56,609 All right. 500 00:20:03,616 --> 00:20:05,493 "Help wanted"? 501 00:20:05,535 --> 00:20:07,037 Yeah, I got to cover the mornings 502 00:20:07,078 --> 00:20:09,747 when you need to do your laundry, right? 503 00:20:11,749 --> 00:20:13,626 Girl, you got a target on your back. 504 00:20:13,668 --> 00:20:16,004 You're the bitch who told me to stay home this morning. 505 00:20:20,717 --> 00:20:23,302 Let's make things a little easier for us this time, Harry. 506 00:20:25,513 --> 00:20:27,682 We'll steal the stroller someone wants 507 00:20:27,724 --> 00:20:31,019 instead of finding someone who wants the stroller we have. 508 00:20:32,979 --> 00:20:35,982 And now we wait and see what happens, Harry. 509 00:20:47,911 --> 00:20:50,287 Holy shit, Harry, we got an email already. 510 00:20:50,329 --> 00:20:52,415 It's for the bugaboo stroller. 511 00:20:56,002 --> 00:20:57,294 Hello, Melanie? 512 00:20:57,336 --> 00:21:00,297 Hi, you contacted me about the baby bugaboo? 513 00:21:00,339 --> 00:21:03,051 Yes, it's still here... I mean available. 514 00:21:03,093 --> 00:21:04,301 Uh, just one sec. 515 00:21:11,684 --> 00:21:13,853 Hi, sorry. Um... 516 00:21:13,895 --> 00:21:16,064 Where are you coming from? 517 00:21:16,106 --> 00:21:18,149 Great, I'm not too far from you. 518 00:21:18,191 --> 00:21:21,652 Why don't we meet at the, uh, trader Joe's on Ontario? 519 00:21:21,694 --> 00:21:23,863 Great, I'll see you there in 30 minutes. 520 00:21:38,377 --> 00:21:40,880 Excuse me? 521 00:21:40,922 --> 00:21:44,092 I saw the "help wanted" sign at the window. 522 00:21:44,134 --> 00:21:45,509 Uh-huh. 523 00:21:45,551 --> 00:21:47,762 Can I leave my résumé with you? 524 00:21:47,804 --> 00:21:50,265 - Uh-huh. - Thanks. 525 00:21:51,975 --> 00:21:53,184 Uh-huh. 526 00:22:04,821 --> 00:22:06,405 Oh, fu... 527 00:22:06,447 --> 00:22:08,365 Son of a bitch! 528 00:22:08,407 --> 00:22:09,951 Chugga-chugga, chugga-chugga, choo. 529 00:22:11,828 --> 00:22:14,497 ♪ Hully gully, hully gully, hully gully, goo ♪ 530 00:22:14,538 --> 00:22:17,208 ♪ hully gully, hully gully ♪ 531 00:22:17,250 --> 00:22:21,420 Hey, hully gully, I just cleaned that floor, man. 532 00:22:23,089 --> 00:22:24,548 Man, what're you laughing at? 533 00:22:24,590 --> 00:22:26,884 Again with my clean floor. 534 00:22:26,926 --> 00:22:29,304 Here we go. 535 00:22:29,344 --> 00:22:31,014 Oh! 536 00:22:31,055 --> 00:22:34,684 No, you didn't. 537 00:22:34,725 --> 00:22:36,769 No, you didn't! 538 00:22:36,811 --> 00:22:38,021 Ah, screw this. 539 00:22:38,062 --> 00:22:39,480 Food fight! 540 00:22:39,522 --> 00:22:42,942 Animal crackers, flying in! 541 00:22:42,984 --> 00:22:44,735 Oh! 542 00:22:44,777 --> 00:22:47,238 Oh! 543 00:22:48,531 --> 00:22:50,449 Work looks good, gentlemen. 544 00:22:50,491 --> 00:22:52,202 Gracias. 545 00:22:52,243 --> 00:22:53,703 Fiona's gonna be mad. 546 00:22:53,744 --> 00:22:55,454 Mm, tough titties. 547 00:22:55,496 --> 00:22:59,292 Gallagher and son would like to thank you for your efficiency. 548 00:22:59,334 --> 00:23:03,004 Uno momento. 549 00:23:03,046 --> 00:23:06,049 This is where we lowball the illegals. 550 00:23:06,090 --> 00:23:09,010 They got nothing over us after the work is done. 551 00:23:10,761 --> 00:23:13,597 Here we go, as promised, $50 each. 552 00:23:13,639 --> 00:23:15,975 You said 100. 553 00:23:16,017 --> 00:23:18,435 How about we make it 75, 554 00:23:18,477 --> 00:23:21,396 and I won't have you deported? 555 00:23:21,438 --> 00:23:23,816 How about we make it 100, 556 00:23:23,858 --> 00:23:26,401 and we won't murder you and the little brown boy in your sleep? 557 00:23:29,739 --> 00:23:31,241 You've jogged my memory. 558 00:23:31,282 --> 00:23:33,910 It...it was $100 each. 559 00:23:33,951 --> 00:23:35,410 I was in a coma. 560 00:23:35,452 --> 00:23:37,496 I-I was in the hospital. I was in a coma. 561 00:23:37,538 --> 00:23:39,165 I get... 562 00:23:43,711 --> 00:23:44,921 Lucky you caught me. 563 00:23:44,962 --> 00:23:47,340 Was about to go home. 564 00:23:47,382 --> 00:23:49,550 I don't feel so lucky right now. 565 00:23:49,592 --> 00:23:52,678 I can barely find any skin you haven't torn 566 00:23:52,720 --> 00:23:54,764 to sew back together. 567 00:23:54,805 --> 00:23:56,807 Jesus! 568 00:23:56,849 --> 00:23:58,768 I did the best I could. 569 00:23:58,809 --> 00:24:00,770 Put on your pants. 570 00:24:03,273 --> 00:24:05,275 Carefully. 571 00:24:05,316 --> 00:24:07,651 If it happens again, you're gonna be in trouble. 572 00:24:07,693 --> 00:24:11,281 I may have no choice but to turn that thing into a vagina. 573 00:24:11,322 --> 00:24:12,865 Hairy balls, son. 574 00:24:12,907 --> 00:24:14,867 Hairy balls. 575 00:24:18,288 --> 00:24:19,997 You got restaurant experience? 576 00:24:20,039 --> 00:24:22,417 I've been waiting tables since I was 13. 577 00:24:22,457 --> 00:24:25,128 - Any felony convictions? - Nope. 578 00:24:25,169 --> 00:24:26,629 Are you working right now? 579 00:24:26,670 --> 00:24:29,590 The place I was at, pelloni's, closed down. 580 00:24:29,632 --> 00:24:33,219 Uh, it's being turned into a urban outfitters. 581 00:24:33,261 --> 00:24:35,263 The owner here wanted to close this place down, too, 582 00:24:35,305 --> 00:24:37,307 but she's giving me a shot to turn it around. 583 00:24:37,348 --> 00:24:38,975 Sounds cool. 584 00:24:39,016 --> 00:24:41,352 That is just the kind of enthusiasm that I'm looking for. 585 00:24:41,394 --> 00:24:43,896 - When can you start? - As soon as you want me to. 586 00:24:43,938 --> 00:24:46,565 That's great. It's minimum wage, plus shared tips. 587 00:24:46,607 --> 00:24:48,401 See you tomorrow at noon for training. 588 00:24:48,443 --> 00:24:50,485 Thank you so much, miss Gallagher. 589 00:24:57,452 --> 00:24:58,995 - Hey, Olga? - Yeah? 590 00:24:59,036 --> 00:25:00,495 You're fired. 591 00:25:00,537 --> 00:25:02,373 You can't fire me. 592 00:25:02,415 --> 00:25:05,500 I'm the only woman of color, and I will sue your ass. 593 00:25:05,542 --> 00:25:08,463 Excuse me, where's the manager? 594 00:25:08,503 --> 00:25:10,505 Hi, I saw your "help wanted" sign. 595 00:25:13,843 --> 00:25:15,303 You're hired. 596 00:25:15,345 --> 00:25:17,263 Come back tomorrow at noon for training. 597 00:25:17,305 --> 00:25:18,639 Thank you. 598 00:25:18,681 --> 00:25:21,642 ♪ Mellow rock music ♪ 599 00:26:10,358 --> 00:26:12,527 Hairy balls, son. 600 00:26:12,567 --> 00:26:14,695 Hairy balls. 601 00:26:55,945 --> 00:26:58,906 ♪ Latin rap music ♪ 602 00:27:00,615 --> 00:27:03,202 ♪ man rapping in Spanish ♪ 603 00:27:15,423 --> 00:27:17,049 You're making me so wet. 604 00:27:17,091 --> 00:27:18,801 Here, feel. 605 00:27:18,842 --> 00:27:20,719 Yeah, it's like a rainforest, 606 00:27:20,761 --> 00:27:22,221 like a slip'n slide. 607 00:27:22,263 --> 00:27:24,014 Yeah. 608 00:27:24,056 --> 00:27:26,392 Lick my pussy. 609 00:27:26,434 --> 00:27:27,642 Okay. 610 00:27:30,396 --> 00:27:33,023 Mm-hmm. 611 00:27:36,693 --> 00:27:37,903 Oh, god! 612 00:27:37,945 --> 00:27:39,780 I could come right now! 613 00:27:41,407 --> 00:27:43,159 I'm not gonna. Come up here. 614 00:27:43,200 --> 00:27:44,785 Come up here. 615 00:27:44,827 --> 00:27:46,078 Oh. 616 00:27:46,120 --> 00:27:47,871 I want to come with you inside me. 617 00:27:47,913 --> 00:27:49,957 - Whenever you're ready, okay? - Oh, okay. 618 00:27:49,999 --> 00:27:53,252 I'll do that. 619 00:28:01,844 --> 00:28:03,137 Good morning. 620 00:28:03,179 --> 00:28:04,679 Good morning. 621 00:28:04,721 --> 00:28:07,308 God bless cpac. 622 00:28:09,519 --> 00:28:11,395 We are at the edge of a cliff. 623 00:28:11,437 --> 00:28:15,774 Liberty is under assault. 624 00:28:15,816 --> 00:28:17,610 Why are you watching this crap? 625 00:28:17,652 --> 00:28:19,278 To not get a boner. 626 00:28:19,320 --> 00:28:20,695 Is it working? 627 00:28:20,737 --> 00:28:23,115 So far. 628 00:28:23,157 --> 00:28:25,201 Is your penis doing okay? 629 00:28:25,242 --> 00:28:27,328 It's all right. 630 00:28:27,370 --> 00:28:28,912 Each and every one of you 631 00:28:28,954 --> 00:28:30,289 is gonna be audited by the IRS. 632 00:28:30,331 --> 00:28:33,125 All right, I'm gonna go take a shower. 633 00:28:33,167 --> 00:28:34,502 No, you're not. 634 00:28:34,544 --> 00:28:35,752 Huh? 635 00:28:35,794 --> 00:28:37,880 Go take a look for yourself. 636 00:28:42,677 --> 00:28:45,346 - Frank? - I assume so. 637 00:28:45,388 --> 00:28:47,931 - The other side, too? - Yep. 638 00:28:47,973 --> 00:28:49,850 During the super bowl, 639 00:28:49,892 --> 00:28:52,228 there's not a smidgen of corruption with the IRS... 640 00:28:55,648 --> 00:28:56,940 - Hey, v. - Hey. 641 00:28:56,982 --> 00:29:00,611 Hey, can I get a beer and a water? 642 00:29:00,653 --> 00:29:01,862 Thank you. 643 00:29:04,823 --> 00:29:07,326 Starting to remind me of him. 644 00:29:07,368 --> 00:29:08,661 Lip! 645 00:29:08,703 --> 00:29:10,538 Hey, buddy, hey. 646 00:29:10,580 --> 00:29:11,955 - Hey, hey, hey, hey. - Going on? 647 00:29:11,997 --> 00:29:13,957 Don't be talking to strangers, son. 648 00:29:13,999 --> 00:29:15,876 Frank, Liam can't be in here. 649 00:29:15,918 --> 00:29:17,503 Drinking age in my country is four... 650 00:29:17,545 --> 00:29:18,921 And a half. 651 00:29:18,962 --> 00:29:20,548 That half really makes a difference. 652 00:29:20,590 --> 00:29:22,258 Fine, he can stay. 653 00:29:22,299 --> 00:29:24,968 But no booze, and we charge the same for sodas. 654 00:29:25,010 --> 00:29:26,220 Ah, extra... 655 00:29:26,262 --> 00:29:28,347 - For sodas. - Oh. 656 00:29:28,389 --> 00:29:30,933 Don't be corrupting my son with your interracial, 657 00:29:30,974 --> 00:29:32,851 bisexual funny business. 658 00:29:32,893 --> 00:29:34,061 What do you want, frank? 659 00:29:34,103 --> 00:29:35,646 Two cokes. 660 00:29:35,688 --> 00:29:37,607 Never thought I'd hear that come out of your mouth. 661 00:29:37,648 --> 00:29:39,816 Well, being a good role model for my progeny 662 00:29:39,858 --> 00:29:41,694 is an important job, Kermit, 663 00:29:41,736 --> 00:29:44,739 unlike the bad influences he's had up to this point. 664 00:29:44,780 --> 00:29:46,949 Hey, buddy, hi. You doing okay? 665 00:29:46,990 --> 00:29:49,702 - I'm having fun with frank. - Well, of course you are. 666 00:29:49,744 --> 00:29:51,621 Well, if you need anything, you know how to call, yeah? 667 00:29:51,662 --> 00:29:52,996 Mm-hmm. 668 00:29:53,038 --> 00:29:54,331 All right. 669 00:30:02,131 --> 00:30:05,926 Hey, want to have some real fun tonight? 670 00:30:05,968 --> 00:30:07,720 What do you say you and me 671 00:30:07,762 --> 00:30:11,140 get some female company for tonight? 672 00:30:11,181 --> 00:30:13,225 You can have your pick of the litter. 673 00:30:13,267 --> 00:30:17,521 Now, the important criteria to look for is who's dtf, 674 00:30:17,563 --> 00:30:20,316 who's holding weed or coke, 675 00:30:20,357 --> 00:30:23,944 and who makes your wee-wee tingle. 676 00:30:23,986 --> 00:30:25,780 Now go get the one you want. 677 00:30:36,707 --> 00:30:39,042 Oh, it's a tiny dude! 678 00:30:39,084 --> 00:30:41,128 Whoa! 679 00:30:41,170 --> 00:30:44,298 I've got a date. 680 00:30:44,340 --> 00:30:46,550 A lovely choice. 681 00:30:46,592 --> 00:30:48,511 - Hello. - Hello. 682 00:30:48,552 --> 00:30:50,554 Care to join us, dollface? 683 00:30:50,596 --> 00:30:52,097 Sure. 684 00:30:52,139 --> 00:30:54,183 Dude, it's really not that bad. 685 00:30:54,224 --> 00:30:55,392 How do you deal with it... 686 00:30:55,434 --> 00:30:57,687 The taste and the folds 687 00:30:57,728 --> 00:30:59,104 and the slime? 688 00:30:59,146 --> 00:31:00,731 What, uh, cheese dick and a throat 689 00:31:00,773 --> 00:31:01,982 full of spooge, that's better? 690 00:31:02,024 --> 00:31:04,401 Give me a beer. 691 00:31:06,111 --> 00:31:07,946 God! 692 00:31:07,988 --> 00:31:10,032 Man, if I sucked some guy's dick, 693 00:31:10,073 --> 00:31:12,075 I wouldn't be half as dramatic as you're being right now. 694 00:31:12,117 --> 00:31:13,869 You're a better man than I. 695 00:31:13,910 --> 00:31:15,245 You at least feel more worldly? 696 00:31:15,287 --> 00:31:16,997 Not at all. 697 00:31:17,039 --> 00:31:19,166 I think it had steam coming off of it. 698 00:31:19,208 --> 00:31:21,001 Should I just get you the drano, then? 699 00:31:21,043 --> 00:31:23,045 If I knew I could gargle it, dude, without dying, 700 00:31:23,086 --> 00:31:24,087 I'd say yes. 701 00:31:24,129 --> 00:31:26,632 You are 100% gay. 702 00:31:26,674 --> 00:31:28,300 I have PTSD. 703 00:31:31,804 --> 00:31:34,973 It's all over my boobs, too. 704 00:31:35,015 --> 00:31:36,809 What the hell happened here? 705 00:31:36,851 --> 00:31:38,185 Did we get robbed? 706 00:31:38,227 --> 00:31:39,186 - Kev. - Wake up. 707 00:31:39,228 --> 00:31:40,479 Hey. 708 00:31:40,521 --> 00:31:41,897 Oh. 709 00:31:41,938 --> 00:31:43,899 Hey, sexy. Hey, beautiful. 710 00:31:43,940 --> 00:31:46,402 - What is going on? - This place is a disaster. 711 00:31:46,443 --> 00:31:47,820 You were supposed to clean today. 712 00:31:47,862 --> 00:31:49,697 Oh, sorry, I know. 713 00:31:49,739 --> 00:31:52,408 I got too busy, but we had a great day. 714 00:31:52,449 --> 00:31:53,909 Oh, my... Did you know Gemma 715 00:31:53,950 --> 00:31:55,661 can climb up on the couch all by herself? 716 00:31:55,703 --> 00:31:57,371 Your only job was to clean today. 717 00:31:57,413 --> 00:32:00,957 Really? I thought I was supposed to keep the kids alive, too. 718 00:32:00,999 --> 00:32:03,126 We were at work all day, busting our butts. 719 00:32:03,168 --> 00:32:05,462 Yeah, all we ask is to come home to a clean house. 720 00:32:05,504 --> 00:32:07,089 I was working all day, too. 721 00:32:07,130 --> 00:32:08,549 Doing what, having a food fight? 722 00:32:08,591 --> 00:32:10,426 - Did you even shower? - Make us dinner? 723 00:32:10,467 --> 00:32:13,095 Oh, my god, I'm not a maid. Why are you two riding my ass? 724 00:32:13,136 --> 00:32:16,640 Because you sat on that ass all day doing nothing. 725 00:32:16,682 --> 00:32:18,726 Oh, that's exactly what I did today. 726 00:32:18,768 --> 00:32:20,603 Nothing. 727 00:32:20,644 --> 00:32:24,774 I did a heaping shit pile of absolutely nothing! 728 00:32:28,861 --> 00:32:31,906 - Uh, $328... - Are you kidding... 729 00:32:31,947 --> 00:32:33,323 No, wait, no, no! 730 00:32:33,365 --> 00:32:34,742 Come on, not the front door. 731 00:32:34,784 --> 00:32:36,326 We have a special entrance. 732 00:32:36,368 --> 00:32:37,578 ♪ Upbeat music ♪ 733 00:32:37,620 --> 00:32:39,622 Whoa! 734 00:32:39,663 --> 00:32:40,997 Got a plan? 735 00:32:41,039 --> 00:32:43,041 Yeah, of course there's a plan. 736 00:32:43,083 --> 00:32:44,293 Oh, shit. 737 00:32:44,334 --> 00:32:46,712 - Let's just... - Okay. 738 00:32:46,754 --> 00:32:48,923 ♪ It's quite all right ♪ 739 00:32:48,964 --> 00:32:51,049 ♪ I feel like... ♪ 740 00:32:51,091 --> 00:32:53,009 - Ladies first. - Okay. Oh, boy. 741 00:32:53,051 --> 00:32:54,804 - I'll give you a boost. - Okay. 742 00:32:54,845 --> 00:32:57,097 - Liam, come on. - Okay. 743 00:32:57,139 --> 00:32:59,475 - Don't fall, okay? - Okay. 744 00:32:59,516 --> 00:33:01,393 Are you sure this thing is safe? 745 00:33:01,435 --> 00:33:03,562 - Well, we'll find out soon. - Okay. 746 00:33:03,604 --> 00:33:05,021 Liam, grab my ankles. 747 00:33:05,063 --> 00:33:07,023 ♪ All right, all right, all right ♪ 748 00:33:07,065 --> 00:33:08,525 ♪ hello, hello... ♪ 749 00:33:08,567 --> 00:33:10,193 Okay. Oh, yeah. Thank you. 750 00:33:11,570 --> 00:33:12,613 Jesus. 751 00:33:12,655 --> 00:33:13,823 ♪ Hello... ♪ 752 00:33:13,864 --> 00:33:14,949 Whoa. 753 00:33:14,990 --> 00:33:17,159 Frank, I'm sorry. 754 00:33:29,338 --> 00:33:31,882 Holy shit. 755 00:33:31,924 --> 00:33:33,759 I had no idea our floor was so slanted. 756 00:33:33,801 --> 00:33:35,803 Ugh, it'd be nice to have a toothbrush 757 00:33:35,845 --> 00:33:37,387 and a change of clothes. 758 00:33:37,429 --> 00:33:39,055 Yeah, I need a shower. 759 00:33:39,097 --> 00:33:41,809 My ass is numb from this chair. 760 00:33:41,851 --> 00:33:44,186 This couch is pretty comfy. 761 00:33:44,227 --> 00:33:46,188 Still not mad at frank, huh? 762 00:33:46,229 --> 00:33:49,149 I refuse to let him have any of my energy. 763 00:33:51,318 --> 00:33:53,403 - Dibs on the kitchen bathroom! - Oh! 764 00:33:53,445 --> 00:33:55,280 Oh, shit, you... 765 00:33:56,907 --> 00:33:59,743 Shit! 766 00:33:59,785 --> 00:34:01,036 We got to get upstairs. 767 00:34:01,077 --> 00:34:02,788 Yeah, we can throw a stink bomb up there 768 00:34:02,830 --> 00:34:03,873 if Liam weren't with him. 769 00:34:03,914 --> 00:34:05,541 Put bars up on the window. 770 00:34:05,582 --> 00:34:07,334 Do you guys think we can set fire 771 00:34:07,376 --> 00:34:09,419 to the top floor of the house? 772 00:34:09,461 --> 00:34:12,381 - Hurry up in there! - I'm using the sink. 773 00:34:18,804 --> 00:34:21,264 Holy shit. 774 00:34:21,306 --> 00:34:23,266 Dude, that is a mangled mess. 775 00:34:23,308 --> 00:34:24,768 - Oh, my god. - Ugh, fuck. 776 00:34:24,810 --> 00:34:26,729 It's all bloody and raw, man. 777 00:34:26,770 --> 00:34:28,856 You shouldn't have gotten that stupid circumcision, man. 778 00:34:28,898 --> 00:34:30,273 All right, well, I did, and there's nothing 779 00:34:30,315 --> 00:34:32,818 I can do about it now, so fuck you guys. 780 00:34:32,860 --> 00:34:35,153 I already feel like enough of a freak being the only Gallagher 781 00:34:35,195 --> 00:34:36,864 who's not circumcised. 782 00:34:36,906 --> 00:34:39,825 Thanks for making me feel worse about it. 783 00:34:44,079 --> 00:34:45,956 What the hell? 784 00:34:45,998 --> 00:34:48,959 ♪ Band of skulls' "back of beyond" playing ♪ 785 00:34:49,001 --> 00:34:51,962 ♪ upbeat rock music ♪ 786 00:34:55,173 --> 00:34:56,383 Hey, kids. 787 00:34:56,425 --> 00:34:58,093 See those ladies over there? 788 00:34:58,134 --> 00:34:59,803 They're gonna help us clean the house 789 00:34:59,845 --> 00:35:01,847 so we can spend more time playing together. 790 00:35:04,474 --> 00:35:05,809 Eh, what the hell? 791 00:35:05,851 --> 00:35:07,394 ♪ All at once all the time ♪ 792 00:35:07,436 --> 00:35:08,687 ♪ the nitty-gritty get ♪ 793 00:35:08,729 --> 00:35:09,730 ♪ the sweetest taste... ♪ 794 00:35:09,772 --> 00:35:11,314 Yeah. 795 00:35:13,191 --> 00:35:15,110 Main's off, and the outside spigot's open. 796 00:35:15,151 --> 00:35:16,946 All right, hand me the hacksaw. 797 00:35:16,987 --> 00:35:18,030 Thanks. 798 00:35:19,990 --> 00:35:22,576 Let's see how long he lasts up there without water. 799 00:35:28,707 --> 00:35:30,166 This is so fun, Harry. 800 00:35:30,208 --> 00:35:32,836 We have such a great life now. 801 00:35:32,878 --> 00:35:35,798 Double stroller? 802 00:35:35,839 --> 00:35:38,341 We could get a lot for that. 803 00:35:43,138 --> 00:35:44,765 ♪ I've seen the good gone bad ♪ 804 00:35:44,807 --> 00:35:46,433 ♪ I've seen the right go wrong ♪ 805 00:35:46,475 --> 00:35:48,184 ♪ from the middle of the city ♪ 806 00:35:48,226 --> 00:35:50,312 ♪ to the back of beyond... ♪ 807 00:35:50,353 --> 00:35:52,522 Pretty soon we'll be able to start saving up for college. 808 00:35:52,564 --> 00:35:54,399 Oh, no, it's okay. 809 00:35:54,441 --> 00:35:56,735 You don't have to go to college if you don't want to, Harry. 810 00:36:02,116 --> 00:36:03,408 Shit! 811 00:36:06,369 --> 00:36:08,122 ♪ If you wanna sing ♪ 812 00:36:08,163 --> 00:36:09,790 ♪ well, I got a song ♪ 813 00:36:09,832 --> 00:36:11,249 ♪ from the middle of the city ♪ 814 00:36:11,291 --> 00:36:12,501 ♪ to the back of beyond ♪ 815 00:36:12,542 --> 00:36:14,753 ♪ I say yeah ♪ 816 00:36:28,308 --> 00:36:31,478 That smell could knock a buzzard off a gut wagon. 817 00:36:33,147 --> 00:36:37,651 Hey, dollface, we got to hose you down. 818 00:36:37,693 --> 00:36:41,237 You're riper than a fat boy in a clown costume. 819 00:36:41,279 --> 00:36:43,073 - Hey! - I'm sorry. 820 00:36:44,116 --> 00:36:45,408 Liam... 821 00:36:45,450 --> 00:36:47,202 Coffee on the hot plate. 822 00:36:59,589 --> 00:37:02,509 Oh, god damn it. I... 823 00:37:08,640 --> 00:37:11,018 I hope it was recently flushed. 824 00:37:15,480 --> 00:37:17,273 Two raptors circling the nest. 825 00:37:33,082 --> 00:37:34,457 Nest is secured. 826 00:37:37,002 --> 00:37:39,963 ♪ Bluesy rock music ♪ 827 00:38:01,944 --> 00:38:03,361 What's in the box? 828 00:38:03,403 --> 00:38:06,656 New uniforms. 829 00:38:06,698 --> 00:38:09,534 - Oh, those are so cute! - Oh, hell, no. 830 00:38:09,576 --> 00:38:11,828 - I am not exposing my legs. - Oh, come on. 831 00:38:11,870 --> 00:38:13,163 You'll make more tips. 832 00:38:13,205 --> 00:38:15,582 Nobody sees my spider veins except my gyno 833 00:38:15,624 --> 00:38:17,251 and the neighbor with the binoculars. 834 00:38:17,292 --> 00:38:19,795 Don't have to work here anymore. 835 00:38:19,836 --> 00:38:21,797 Fine. 836 00:38:21,838 --> 00:38:24,049 Bunch of us are going to melody lounge after work. 837 00:38:24,091 --> 00:38:25,550 - You should come. - Is that a club? 838 00:38:25,592 --> 00:38:26,802 It'll be fun. 839 00:38:26,843 --> 00:38:28,428 I don't have a change of clothes. 840 00:38:28,470 --> 00:38:30,639 - Of course you do. - Yeah, right. 841 00:38:30,680 --> 00:38:32,808 Come on, you look fine. 842 00:38:32,849 --> 00:38:34,643 Hey, bring lip, too. 843 00:38:49,783 --> 00:38:53,078 You know, the feds showed up at my internship today. 844 00:38:53,120 --> 00:38:55,664 Yeah, took a couple of servers. 845 00:38:55,705 --> 00:38:56,915 What for? 846 00:38:56,957 --> 00:38:58,708 No idea. 847 00:38:58,750 --> 00:39:00,752 But those nerds are richer than balls. 848 00:39:03,755 --> 00:39:05,465 I texted Caleb. 849 00:39:05,507 --> 00:39:08,135 Told him to meet me at the loft after work. 850 00:39:08,177 --> 00:39:09,678 Gonna compare vagina stories? 851 00:39:09,719 --> 00:39:11,721 That's exactly what we're gonna do. 852 00:39:11,763 --> 00:39:13,098 There's Carl. 853 00:39:16,518 --> 00:39:20,522 Carl Gallagher, please approach the ambulance. 854 00:39:20,563 --> 00:39:22,774 Gonna need you to speed up, Carl. 855 00:39:22,816 --> 00:39:25,068 ♪ Funky music ♪ 856 00:39:27,946 --> 00:39:29,739 I'm coming! 857 00:39:29,781 --> 00:39:31,241 Shh! 858 00:39:31,283 --> 00:39:33,368 Gonna wake up the damn babies. 859 00:39:36,538 --> 00:39:38,707 You must be from the topless-maid company. 860 00:39:38,748 --> 00:39:40,042 You're quick. 861 00:39:40,083 --> 00:39:42,252 - Can I come in? - Yes. 862 00:39:42,294 --> 00:39:44,004 Yes. 863 00:39:44,046 --> 00:39:45,714 Let me show you around. 864 00:39:45,755 --> 00:39:48,424 As you can see, the place is a mess. 865 00:39:48,466 --> 00:39:50,426 I'm gonna need you to do the laundry, 866 00:39:50,468 --> 00:39:52,179 wash the dishes, 867 00:39:52,221 --> 00:39:54,681 clean the floors, vacuum, and dust the furniture. 868 00:39:54,723 --> 00:39:56,432 Sound good? Okay! 869 00:39:56,474 --> 00:39:58,143 Wow. Sorry. 870 00:39:58,185 --> 00:39:59,769 This is happening. 871 00:40:01,521 --> 00:40:03,106 Those are spectacular. 872 00:40:03,148 --> 00:40:04,649 It's amazing how you stuffed them in there 873 00:40:04,691 --> 00:40:06,151 and now they're out in all their glory. 874 00:40:06,193 --> 00:40:07,694 Hallelujah. 875 00:40:09,821 --> 00:40:11,573 What's happening to me? 876 00:40:11,614 --> 00:40:13,992 We gave you a jumbo dose of thorazine. 877 00:40:14,034 --> 00:40:16,328 My brain feels like cotton candy. 878 00:40:16,370 --> 00:40:18,997 And that's the way you're gonna feel for the next 72 hours. 879 00:40:19,039 --> 00:40:21,708 No way you get a boner on that shit. 880 00:40:21,750 --> 00:40:24,211 Don't have to think about hairy balls anymore. 881 00:40:24,253 --> 00:40:25,795 What? 882 00:40:27,256 --> 00:40:30,175 You guys are the best. 883 00:40:37,933 --> 00:40:39,601 Wendy, don't get me wrong. 884 00:40:39,642 --> 00:40:41,395 I like what's going on here, 885 00:40:41,436 --> 00:40:43,479 but are you gonna be doing any cleaning today? 886 00:40:43,521 --> 00:40:45,148 Cleaning? 887 00:40:45,190 --> 00:40:47,025 You didn't bring any lysol 888 00:40:47,067 --> 00:40:49,986 or...or ammonia or a mop or anything. 889 00:40:50,028 --> 00:40:54,741 You thought a topless maid service actually did cleaning? 890 00:40:54,783 --> 00:40:56,743 Yes. 891 00:40:56,785 --> 00:40:58,370 That's cute. 892 00:40:58,412 --> 00:40:59,913 Here. 893 00:40:59,955 --> 00:41:02,916 My services are à la carte. Pick what you like. 894 00:41:02,958 --> 00:41:05,501 - Mop and glow. - That's one of my specialties. 895 00:41:05,543 --> 00:41:07,212 I'm sure it is. 896 00:41:07,254 --> 00:41:09,464 - Pipe cleaning. - Old dudes like that one. 897 00:41:10,548 --> 00:41:12,134 Brazilian floor wax. 898 00:41:12,175 --> 00:41:13,635 That's not what you think it is. 899 00:41:13,676 --> 00:41:16,221 I have no idea what I think that is. 900 00:41:18,473 --> 00:41:20,976 Sham wow? 901 00:41:24,062 --> 00:41:26,440 Hey, you finally decided to come home. 902 00:41:26,481 --> 00:41:29,067 Did you trick me into having sex with a woman? 903 00:41:29,109 --> 00:41:30,610 What? 904 00:41:30,652 --> 00:41:32,862 So that you wouldn't feel bad about what you did? 905 00:41:32,904 --> 00:41:34,530 Look, what are you talking about? 906 00:41:34,572 --> 00:41:36,992 You made me feel like a freak 'cause I'm only gay. 907 00:41:37,033 --> 00:41:38,910 How you feel is on you. 908 00:41:38,952 --> 00:41:42,497 I slept with some random chick 'cause of you. 909 00:41:42,538 --> 00:41:44,207 I didn't force you to do anything. 910 00:41:44,249 --> 00:41:46,335 I can still taste her hairspray and her pubes 911 00:41:46,376 --> 00:41:48,128 and her vagisitis. 912 00:41:48,170 --> 00:41:50,130 You obviously picked the wrong woman. 913 00:41:50,172 --> 00:41:51,423 Don't turn this around on me. 914 00:41:51,465 --> 00:41:53,133 You're the weirdo, all right? Not me. 915 00:41:53,175 --> 00:41:55,302 Because I like to have sex with women once in a while? 916 00:41:55,344 --> 00:41:57,095 - It's not normal. - It's very normal. 917 00:41:57,137 --> 00:41:59,514 Not if you're gay, it's not. It's disgusting. 918 00:41:59,555 --> 00:42:01,766 Then don't do it anymore. 919 00:42:01,808 --> 00:42:04,102 And it's a turnoff. 920 00:42:04,144 --> 00:42:06,229 Me? I'm the turnoff? 921 00:42:06,271 --> 00:42:07,772 You sleep with women... 922 00:42:07,814 --> 00:42:09,024 Yeah. 923 00:42:09,065 --> 00:42:10,733 Then why are we even going out? 924 00:42:14,112 --> 00:42:15,989 I keep asking myself the same thing. 925 00:42:16,031 --> 00:42:17,740 - Judgmental much? - Vagina-fucker much? 926 00:42:17,782 --> 00:42:19,575 When did you become such a baby? 927 00:42:19,617 --> 00:42:21,619 When did you become such a bisexual? 928 00:42:25,040 --> 00:42:26,291 So that's it, then. 929 00:42:32,339 --> 00:42:34,132 Yeah, I guess so. 930 00:42:36,468 --> 00:42:39,388 - Have a nice life. - Already am. 931 00:42:44,059 --> 00:42:46,353 Kevin, what are you doing? 932 00:42:46,395 --> 00:42:48,855 I got a great idea for a business. 933 00:42:48,897 --> 00:42:50,815 - Where are babies? - Sleeping. 934 00:42:50,857 --> 00:42:52,442 - Monitor. - Is the house clean? 935 00:42:52,484 --> 00:42:54,694 That is a great question, which is directly related 936 00:42:54,736 --> 00:42:55,945 to my new business plan. 937 00:42:55,987 --> 00:42:58,156 - So, no? - You are correct. 938 00:42:58,198 --> 00:43:01,243 The topless maid that I hired was more of an escort... 939 00:43:01,284 --> 00:43:03,161 - You hired a topless maid? - Did you have sex with her? 940 00:43:03,203 --> 00:43:04,746 Of course not. 941 00:43:04,787 --> 00:43:06,915 What else did you think a topless-maid service did, kev? 942 00:43:06,956 --> 00:43:09,000 I was focused on the maid part 943 00:43:09,042 --> 00:43:11,586 and not the topless part, which gave me this idea. 944 00:43:11,627 --> 00:43:14,630 ♪ Upbeat music ♪ 945 00:43:14,672 --> 00:43:17,050 - Nooks and fannies? - Yes. 946 00:43:17,092 --> 00:43:18,885 We are gonna start a maid service 947 00:43:18,927 --> 00:43:21,012 that is not only topless 948 00:43:21,054 --> 00:43:23,139 but also cleans; We'll corner the market. 949 00:43:23,181 --> 00:43:25,225 You expect me to clean someone else's house? 950 00:43:25,267 --> 00:43:26,893 Don't have to. That's the genius part. 951 00:43:26,935 --> 00:43:29,396 You two are the boobs of the operation. 952 00:43:29,438 --> 00:43:30,897 She's gonna do the cleaning. 953 00:43:42,992 --> 00:43:44,786 I think these girls just invited me 954 00:43:44,827 --> 00:43:46,162 so I'd bring you. 955 00:43:48,498 --> 00:43:50,125 Hey! 956 00:43:50,166 --> 00:43:51,585 Oh. He's...He's cute. 957 00:43:51,626 --> 00:43:53,420 Wait, wait, wait. Stop, stop, stop, stop. 958 00:43:53,462 --> 00:43:55,046 - Hi, lip. - Hey, hi. 959 00:43:55,088 --> 00:43:56,631 Hi. 960 00:43:56,672 --> 00:43:58,007 What are you drinking? 961 00:43:58,049 --> 00:43:59,384 Uh, beer. 962 00:43:59,426 --> 00:44:01,052 Okay. You want something, girl? 963 00:44:01,094 --> 00:44:04,222 Uh, a change of clothes. You guys look great. 964 00:44:04,264 --> 00:44:06,766 Have a shot. It'll make you feel sexier. 965 00:44:06,808 --> 00:44:11,062 Uh, two stellas and three shots of jager, on my tab. 966 00:44:11,104 --> 00:44:13,940 I saw you checking me out during my interview. 967 00:44:13,982 --> 00:44:15,358 I was that obvious? 968 00:44:15,400 --> 00:44:16,692 But I liked it. 969 00:44:17,735 --> 00:44:20,822 - Oh. - Thanks. 970 00:44:20,863 --> 00:44:22,115 Cheers, boss. 971 00:44:22,157 --> 00:44:23,492 Thanks. 972 00:44:23,533 --> 00:44:24,951 Cheers. 973 00:44:28,037 --> 00:44:29,247 Ugh! 974 00:44:29,289 --> 00:44:30,665 - Let's dance. - Yeah. 975 00:44:37,255 --> 00:44:38,673 Just so you know... 976 00:44:38,714 --> 00:44:40,675 I have a kid and a stupid ex-boyfriend, 977 00:44:40,716 --> 00:44:42,469 so I'm not looking for anything serious. 978 00:44:42,511 --> 00:44:45,054 Yeah, well, uh, I just got expelled from college 979 00:44:45,096 --> 00:44:47,682 and did 30 days in rehab, so... 980 00:44:47,723 --> 00:44:49,684 Then we're a perfect match. 981 00:44:54,730 --> 00:44:56,024 - Hey. - Yeah. 982 00:44:59,152 --> 00:45:00,820 Is that Ariel's boyfriend? 983 00:45:00,862 --> 00:45:03,198 No. She just met him on tinder. 984 00:45:03,239 --> 00:45:04,991 Going to the bathroom to bang. 985 00:45:05,033 --> 00:45:06,284 You on tinder? 986 00:45:06,326 --> 00:45:07,701 - Uh-uh. - Mm. 987 00:45:07,743 --> 00:45:09,871 Not into the meaningless, random hookup? 988 00:45:09,912 --> 00:45:11,705 Uh, no, I'm more of a 989 00:45:11,747 --> 00:45:14,708 "one dysfunctional relationship into another" kind of girl. 990 00:45:14,750 --> 00:45:16,878 - I'm taking a break. - This is why you need tinder. 991 00:45:16,919 --> 00:45:18,712 Give me your phone. 992 00:45:20,340 --> 00:45:21,715 You're a hot piece of ass. 993 00:45:21,757 --> 00:45:23,717 You should be boning on the regs. 994 00:45:23,759 --> 00:45:25,845 - Let's get you a picture. - I don't know. 995 00:45:28,097 --> 00:45:29,932 They always seem to get attached. 996 00:45:29,974 --> 00:45:31,809 Or maybe that's me. 997 00:45:31,851 --> 00:45:33,436 You bragging about your golden vagina? 998 00:45:33,478 --> 00:45:36,814 No, more like my golden ability to pick liars. 999 00:45:36,856 --> 00:45:40,318 Then don't talk to them. Just swipe, fuck, leave. 1000 00:45:40,360 --> 00:45:41,611 Ooh. 1001 00:45:41,653 --> 00:45:43,029 You already have three matches. 1002 00:45:43,071 --> 00:45:45,114 And Luke is at the bar across the street, 1003 00:45:45,156 --> 00:45:46,575 ready to Rumble. 1004 00:45:47,783 --> 00:45:48,910 Mm-hmm. 1005 00:45:48,951 --> 00:45:50,620 Oh. 1006 00:46:02,382 --> 00:46:03,966 What the fuck? 1007 00:46:04,008 --> 00:46:05,759 Everybody, wake up. 1008 00:46:05,801 --> 00:46:07,303 - What's going on? - That! 1009 00:46:07,345 --> 00:46:09,305 No! Oh. Oh! 1010 00:46:09,347 --> 00:46:11,849 Oh, shit! Fuck. 1011 00:46:11,891 --> 00:46:14,936 Don't say papa never gave you a pet. 1012 00:46:16,605 --> 00:46:19,315 Hey. 1013 00:46:19,357 --> 00:46:21,150 Ugh! 1014 00:46:22,444 --> 00:46:24,571 V! 1015 00:46:24,613 --> 00:46:28,366 V! Where are you? 1016 00:46:28,408 --> 00:46:30,118 Ah, v! 1017 00:46:30,159 --> 00:46:32,454 - Hi. - What the hell are you doing? 1018 00:46:32,495 --> 00:46:34,581 - Can v come out and play? - It's 2 A.M. 1019 00:46:34,623 --> 00:46:36,583 My kids, my husband and wife are sleeping. 1020 00:46:38,627 --> 00:46:40,754 You know that that sounds weird, right? 1021 00:46:40,794 --> 00:46:41,795 You're drunk. 1022 00:46:41,837 --> 00:46:43,047 And fucked. 1023 00:46:43,089 --> 00:46:45,592 I just tinder-fucked... This guy. 1024 00:46:45,634 --> 00:46:49,387 His name is, like, a j or an l or some other letter. 1025 00:46:49,429 --> 00:46:50,764 I don't care. 1026 00:46:50,804 --> 00:46:52,724 Careless, mindless sex has set me free. 1027 00:46:52,766 --> 00:46:53,975 Tell me more about it tomorrow. 1028 00:46:54,016 --> 00:46:56,810 This guy was doing this... 1029 00:46:56,852 --> 00:46:58,772 What the fuck? 1030 00:47:00,649 --> 00:47:03,151 Did you just close the door in my face? 1031 00:47:13,035 --> 00:47:15,204 - I found a pickax. - What the hell you doing? 1032 00:47:15,246 --> 00:47:17,165 - Looking for demolition tools. - Fiona? 1033 00:47:17,206 --> 00:47:19,959 - There's a shovel in here. - She's asleep. 1034 00:47:21,252 --> 00:47:24,422 It's me! 1035 00:47:24,464 --> 00:47:28,009 Hey, I brought you some coffee. I figured you might be hungover. 1036 00:47:28,050 --> 00:47:30,637 I am. What time is it? 1037 00:47:30,679 --> 00:47:34,223 Not as early as you ringing my doorbell last night. 1038 00:47:34,265 --> 00:47:36,100 - Huh? - Don't "huh" me. 1039 00:47:38,060 --> 00:47:40,062 - Yo, fi. - Huh? 1040 00:47:40,104 --> 00:47:41,939 Pickax, sledgehammer. 1041 00:47:41,981 --> 00:47:43,983 Sledgehammer. 1042 00:47:45,694 --> 00:47:46,902 I'll see you upstairs. 1043 00:47:46,944 --> 00:47:49,863 I'll be up in a minute. 1044 00:47:49,905 --> 00:47:51,282 We're getting rid of frank. 1045 00:47:54,076 --> 00:47:56,078 Ow. 1046 00:47:56,120 --> 00:47:58,456 Who was this random guy you hooked up with last night? 1047 00:47:58,498 --> 00:48:01,042 Key word in that sentence is "random." 1048 00:48:01,083 --> 00:48:02,876 I don't know. 1049 00:48:02,918 --> 00:48:05,630 Why you sleeping with random dudes, anyway? 1050 00:48:05,672 --> 00:48:08,299 Why am I not hooking up with random dudes? 1051 00:48:08,341 --> 00:48:10,677 Some sort of rebound thing from Sean? 1052 00:48:12,303 --> 00:48:15,931 I'd have to care for it to be a Sean-rebound thing. 1053 00:48:15,973 --> 00:48:18,184 Funny. You said the same thing about frank. 1054 00:48:18,226 --> 00:48:21,270 Ooh. Having a rebound thing with frank? 1055 00:48:21,312 --> 00:48:23,565 No, dummy. Caring. 1056 00:48:23,606 --> 00:48:27,276 You seriously think that I give a fuck about Sean or frank? 1057 00:48:27,318 --> 00:48:29,903 It's been weeks, and you haven't talked at all 1058 00:48:29,945 --> 00:48:31,781 about what happened on your wedding day. 1059 00:48:31,823 --> 00:48:35,076 'Cause there's nothing to talk about... 1060 00:48:35,117 --> 00:48:37,495 So I'm not gonna talk about it... 1061 00:48:37,537 --> 00:48:39,789 Ever. 1062 00:48:39,831 --> 00:48:41,708 ♪ Hey, hey, there's a fire ♪ 1063 00:48:41,750 --> 00:48:43,959 ♪ and it's running, coming in here ♪ 1064 00:48:45,545 --> 00:48:46,838 ♪ hey ♪ 1065 00:48:46,880 --> 00:48:48,548 ♪ hey, hey, there's a fire ♪ 1066 00:48:48,590 --> 00:48:50,425 ♪ and it's running, coming in here ♪ 1067 00:48:50,466 --> 00:48:52,260 Look, it's harder than I thought. 1068 00:48:52,301 --> 00:48:54,596 - ♪ Hey ♪ - ♪ hey, hey, now ♪ 1069 00:48:54,637 --> 00:48:56,264 ♪ hey, hey, now ♪ 1070 00:48:56,305 --> 00:48:57,931 ♪ hey, hey, now ♪ 1071 00:48:57,973 --> 00:48:59,517 ♪ hey, hey, now ♪ 1072 00:48:59,559 --> 00:49:00,769 ♪ hey, hey, now ♪ 1073 00:49:01,895 --> 00:49:03,937 ♪ hey, hey, now ♪ 1074 00:49:11,780 --> 00:49:13,782 What the fuck? 1075 00:49:13,823 --> 00:49:14,866 ♪ Hey, hey, now ♪ 1076 00:49:16,576 --> 00:49:18,952 ♪ hey, hey, hey ♪ 1077 00:49:18,994 --> 00:49:20,663 ♪ hey, hey, now ♪ 1078 00:49:20,705 --> 00:49:23,207 ♪ things are burning up ♪ 1079 00:49:23,249 --> 00:49:24,208 Aah! 1080 00:49:28,254 --> 00:49:32,884 Five, four, three, two, one. 1081 00:49:34,218 --> 00:49:35,720 ♪ Rock music ♪ 1082 00:49:35,762 --> 00:49:38,556 Okay, well, the 72 hours is up. 1083 00:49:45,438 --> 00:49:49,317 ♪ I go home thinking about something she said ♪ 1084 00:49:49,358 --> 00:49:52,862 ♪ I can't get the thinking out of my head ♪ 1085 00:49:52,904 --> 00:49:55,072 ♪ I should just play it cool ♪ 1086 00:49:56,532 --> 00:49:58,576 ♪ instead I overthink it ♪ 1087 00:50:00,994 --> 00:50:03,247 ♪ hand me a cup of fuel ♪ 1088 00:50:03,289 --> 00:50:05,834 ♪ I don't know if I should drink it ♪ 77096

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