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1
00:00:11,261 --> 00:00:13,096
Ever since we
moved into his house,
2
00:00:13,347 --> 00:00:16,557
Steve was acting like...
Well, not like Steve.
3
00:00:16,558 --> 00:00:18,893
Mom, I'm gonna get some
of Mr. Lunt's French toast.
4
00:00:18,894 --> 00:00:20,102
Okay, but ask
this time.
5
00:00:20,103 --> 00:00:21,563
Don't just grab it
from his plate.
6
00:00:21,813 --> 00:00:23,856
Like Helen Keller, right?
7
00:00:25,234 --> 00:00:26,859
She always did that.
8
00:00:26,860 --> 00:00:29,070
So who wants to go
bird-watching?
9
00:00:29,071 --> 00:00:30,571
Steve, you don't have
to start bird-watching
10
00:00:30,572 --> 00:00:32,031
just because
it's one of my hobbies.
11
00:00:32,032 --> 00:00:35,117
No! God, I've always
watched birds.
12
00:00:35,118 --> 00:00:36,619
Love just
watching them fly
13
00:00:36,620 --> 00:00:39,747
or even just sitting
on the branch sleeping.
14
00:00:39,748 --> 00:00:41,457
It's not boring as hell.
15
00:00:41,458 --> 00:00:43,167
Look, you don't have to lie.
16
00:00:43,168 --> 00:00:44,835
It's a little insulting.
17
00:00:44,836 --> 00:00:46,964
Well, in that case, of
course I want to shoot them.
18
00:00:47,339 --> 00:00:48,464
Well, at least
you're being honest.
19
00:00:48,465 --> 00:00:50,132
Please don't kill
any birds though.
20
00:00:50,133 --> 00:00:53,428
I won't if you will agree
to go bird-watching with me.
21
00:00:53,804 --> 00:00:55,764
That sounds like a plan.
22
00:00:58,725 --> 00:01:01,103
Half smile
and a necklace twist.
23
00:01:01,478 --> 00:01:03,396
Haven't gotten
one of those in a while.
24
00:01:03,397 --> 00:01:05,439
Steve thought that whenever
my mom liked something,
25
00:01:05,440 --> 00:01:08,025
she twisted her necklace
and gave a half smile.
26
00:01:08,026 --> 00:01:10,278
Well, nothing I can do
against that kind of power.
27
00:01:10,279 --> 00:01:11,404
You win.
28
00:01:11,405 --> 00:01:13,739
Mom, I won!
I beat Steve!
29
00:01:13,740 --> 00:01:15,325
You sure did.
30
00:01:17,661 --> 00:01:19,078
I totally
let Puddle win.
31
00:01:19,079 --> 00:01:20,414
Puddle sucks.
32
00:01:20,831 --> 00:01:22,581
I mean,
she couldn't beat Lunt
33
00:01:22,582 --> 00:01:25,293
if he was in the middle of one
of his world-famous heart
attacks.
34
00:01:25,294 --> 00:01:27,670
Yes, Steve, you're so much
better than that 12-year-old
girl,
35
00:01:27,671 --> 00:01:32,008
but truthfully, I think that
Emmy just wants you to be
yourself now.
36
00:01:32,009 --> 00:01:33,592
What do you mean?
37
00:01:33,593 --> 00:01:35,594
Well, I have the unfortunate
habit of listening when people
talk
38
00:01:35,595 --> 00:01:37,096
and I think she was saying
39
00:01:37,097 --> 00:01:40,141
that you don't have to pretend
to be something you're not.
40
00:01:40,142 --> 00:01:42,184
I'm sorry, Migo. I don't know
what you're babbling on about.
41
00:01:42,185 --> 00:01:44,186
But I do know that I have
home court advantage now
42
00:01:44,187 --> 00:01:46,647
that I've finally separated
her from that weasel Andy.
43
00:01:46,648 --> 00:01:50,027
So tired of him spying on
me every time I look out...
44
00:01:50,736 --> 00:01:52,069
What are you doing, troll?
45
00:01:52,070 --> 00:01:53,612
You think you're so clever
trying to seduce my woman
46
00:01:53,613 --> 00:01:58,075
with your fancy luxuries like
food and heat.
47
00:01:58,076 --> 00:02:00,369
I invited you to live
in the house, sponge.
48
00:02:00,370 --> 00:02:02,455
Oh, you'd love that,
wouldn't you, pig?
49
00:02:02,456 --> 00:02:04,582
For me to abandon my
principles just so I could
50
00:02:04,583 --> 00:02:07,793
warm myself by your crackling
fire and eat your...
51
00:02:10,213 --> 00:02:11,589
French toast with cinnamon?
52
00:02:11,590 --> 00:02:13,966
You just feel threatened
because I can provide her with
53
00:02:13,967 --> 00:02:17,011
all the creature comforts
and you're nothing
but a, well, creature.
54
00:02:17,012 --> 00:02:21,599
Just give him some French
toast. He'll go away.
55
00:02:21,600 --> 00:02:24,477
Shoo! Shoo!
56
00:02:24,478 --> 00:02:27,313
Oy! Why have you given my French
toast to that peasant, Lunt?
57
00:02:27,314 --> 00:02:29,565
The same reason
I was giving it to you.
58
00:02:29,566 --> 00:02:31,109
So you'd go away.
59
00:02:33,070 --> 00:02:34,820
That gesture
is extremely vulgar
60
00:02:34,821 --> 00:02:37,114
and provocative in my culture
and it almost makes me want to
61
00:02:37,115 --> 00:02:41,494
un-invite you to my Casino
Casbah Night this Saturday.
62
00:02:41,495 --> 00:02:45,623
This year, I'm hiring an Indian
children's choir to sing
63
00:02:45,624 --> 00:02:47,625
and to clean up
afterwards.
64
00:02:47,626 --> 00:02:49,168
Wait. Why are you having it
so early this year?
65
00:02:49,169 --> 00:02:50,920
Don't you usually wait
till after Ramadan?
66
00:02:50,921 --> 00:02:55,758
Well, it's to coincide with the
visit of a certain Mr. Jack
Gray.
67
00:02:55,759 --> 00:02:57,343
He's coming?
68
00:02:57,344 --> 00:02:59,261
We're going to have
a Jack attack!
69
00:02:59,262 --> 00:03:01,347
Yes, Steve.
You, me, and Jack.
70
00:03:01,348 --> 00:03:03,474
The old cell,
asleep no more.
71
00:03:03,475 --> 00:03:06,185
Man, this is exactly what I need
after two weeks
72
00:03:06,186 --> 00:03:08,646
of non-lethal bird-watching.
Why, I haven't seen Jack
since...
73
00:03:08,647 --> 00:03:10,106
He set the pool on fire?
74
00:03:10,107 --> 00:03:11,941
And how hard
is that to do?
75
00:03:11,942 --> 00:03:13,652
First, you got to drive
the SUV under the pool.
76
00:03:13,944 --> 00:03:15,903
Then you got to wait for the
gas to float to the top.
77
00:03:15,904 --> 00:03:17,613
Then you still got
to be drunk and stupid enough
78
00:03:17,614 --> 00:03:20,324
to cannonball in with a
lit cigar in your hand.
79
00:03:20,325 --> 00:03:21,534
We almost died.
80
00:03:21,535 --> 00:03:23,702
Yes, we did.
81
00:03:23,703 --> 00:03:25,996
This is gonna be the best
Casbah night ever.
82
00:03:25,997 --> 00:03:27,623
I wonder if we'll even
have one of those
83
00:03:27,624 --> 00:03:30,543
old-fashioned casino fights
like in the movies.
84
00:03:30,544 --> 00:03:32,294
Man, I can't tell you
how much I need this.
85
00:03:32,295 --> 00:03:35,131
I have been walking on eggshells
since Emmy moved into the house.
86
00:03:35,132 --> 00:03:36,882
Are you going
to tell her about Jack?
87
00:03:36,883 --> 00:03:39,343
She's the one who wants me to
be more honest about my life,
88
00:03:39,344 --> 00:03:41,011
so she'll just have to
accept the fact
89
00:03:41,012 --> 00:03:44,473
that I like to party hard
every once in a while.
90
00:03:44,474 --> 00:03:47,810
Well, it suits me. It's time
to Jack-proof the house.
91
00:03:47,811 --> 00:03:50,729
So Mr. Lunt and Migo
went to making the house safe
92
00:03:50,730 --> 00:03:52,982
for Steve's crazy friend
Jack.
93
00:03:52,983 --> 00:03:54,567
My friend is here.
94
00:03:54,568 --> 00:03:56,736
My friend is here!
95
00:03:58,447 --> 00:03:59,655
Am I standing
on a mattress?
96
00:03:59,656 --> 00:04:01,073
We thought it would
soften the blow
97
00:04:01,074 --> 00:04:03,659
for the inevitable fall
down the stairs.
98
00:04:03,660 --> 00:04:06,996
You have done a beautiful job
making this place safe, Migo.
99
00:04:06,997 --> 00:04:09,123
Blind Siamese twins being
called in different directions
100
00:04:09,124 --> 00:04:10,624
couldn't get hurt
in here.
101
00:04:10,625 --> 00:04:13,294
Yes, it's almost a shame you're
going to black it all out.
102
00:04:17,048 --> 00:04:18,424
Steve!
103
00:04:18,425 --> 00:04:19,758
Jack!
104
00:04:19,759 --> 00:04:24,097
The Harvard, the Yale and
the Mercer County College.
105
00:04:25,974 --> 00:04:27,433
Ah, college!
106
00:04:27,434 --> 00:04:29,311
The best 17 years
of my life.
107
00:04:29,644 --> 00:04:30,853
Oh, my God!
108
00:04:30,854 --> 00:04:33,355
You Jack-proofed
the place for me.
109
00:04:33,356 --> 00:04:34,399
Ha-ha!
110
00:04:35,233 --> 00:04:36,525
Loch Ness platinum.
111
00:04:36,526 --> 00:04:38,403
$25,000 a bottle.
Thought we'd start with this
112
00:04:38,778 --> 00:04:41,322
and work our way up to the
expensive stuff.
113
00:04:41,323 --> 00:04:43,491
Look, I should have told you
this earlier to save you the
114
00:04:43,492 --> 00:04:46,244
trouble, but about a year ago,
I stopped drinking.
115
00:04:46,703 --> 00:04:48,287
Oh, my God.
116
00:04:48,288 --> 00:04:51,665
Your tolerance must be
nonexistent. I am so jealous.
117
00:04:51,666 --> 00:04:53,084
No, it's not like that, Steve.
118
00:04:53,793 --> 00:04:55,170
I'm sober now.
119
00:04:56,004 --> 00:05:00,842
Well, this should be an
evening to... remember.
120
00:05:03,094 --> 00:05:04,553
Steve had just found out
121
00:05:04,554 --> 00:05:07,097
that his hard-partying friend
wasn't partying anymore.
122
00:05:07,098 --> 00:05:08,807
You're disappointed?
No.
123
00:05:08,808 --> 00:05:10,309
Yes, you are.
124
00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:11,852
Everybody has been.
125
00:05:11,853 --> 00:05:13,103
You think I don't see
the look of joy
126
00:05:13,104 --> 00:05:14,772
drain from
my frat brothers' faces
127
00:05:14,773 --> 00:05:16,941
when I tell them
I no longer imbibe?
128
00:05:16,942 --> 00:05:17,983
That I'm here
to make amends?
129
00:05:17,984 --> 00:05:20,528
Amends?
Oh, God. For what?
130
00:05:20,529 --> 00:05:22,488
For all the times
I really let you down.
131
00:05:22,489 --> 00:05:24,448
Like now?
132
00:05:24,449 --> 00:05:25,950
As Jack apologized
133
00:05:25,951 --> 00:05:28,452
for giving Steve some of the
happiest nights of his life,
134
00:05:28,453 --> 00:05:29,578
my mom ran into Migo
out front.
135
00:05:29,579 --> 00:05:31,121
Hey, Migo!
Hey, Emmy.
136
00:05:31,122 --> 00:05:33,749
I thought you were going
to the movies with Mr. Lunt.
137
00:05:33,750 --> 00:05:35,042
It was a Wizard of Oz
sing-along,
138
00:05:35,043 --> 00:05:35,918
and I didn't want
to be the only girl.
139
00:05:35,919 --> 00:05:37,336
What's going on?
140
00:05:37,337 --> 00:05:39,922
Steve and his old fraternity
brother Jack are having
141
00:05:39,923 --> 00:05:42,299
some guy time.
I have to warn you, Emmy.
142
00:05:42,300 --> 00:05:43,884
He's a bit of
a party animal.
143
00:05:43,885 --> 00:05:46,345
He loves drinking
and he can get very rowdy.
144
00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:47,805
I just thought
you should know.
145
00:05:47,806 --> 00:05:49,723
Well, at least he's acting
like the old Steve again.
146
00:05:49,724 --> 00:05:51,100
You know, I just hate
when people lie
147
00:05:51,101 --> 00:05:52,936
and pretend to be somebody
that they're not.
148
00:05:55,063 --> 00:05:58,440
Meanwhile Steve and Jack
were having their most sober
conversation ever.
149
00:05:58,441 --> 00:06:00,526
Oh, and lastly,
I want to apologize
150
00:06:00,527 --> 00:06:02,194
for that time we stole
that bouncy castle
151
00:06:02,195 --> 00:06:04,905
from that kid's birthday party,
paddled it out into the bay.
152
00:06:04,906 --> 00:06:10,369
The Coast Guard came.
We almost died.
153
00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:13,205
It was really sad.
154
00:06:13,206 --> 00:06:14,498
Emmy, there you are.
155
00:06:14,499 --> 00:06:16,792
This is my fraternity
brother Jack.
156
00:06:16,793 --> 00:06:18,085
Hi, Jack.
157
00:06:18,086 --> 00:06:19,628
Looks like you two
were about to have a drink.
158
00:06:19,629 --> 00:06:20,713
Maybe I'll join you.
159
00:06:20,714 --> 00:06:23,465
Oh, uh, no.
Jack doesn't drink.
160
00:06:23,466 --> 00:06:24,717
Oh, you don't drink?
161
00:06:24,718 --> 00:06:26,010
He never
touches the stuff.
162
00:06:26,011 --> 00:06:27,761
My mom thought
Steve was lying.
163
00:06:27,762 --> 00:06:29,471
Well, maybe I should
just head inside,
164
00:06:29,472 --> 00:06:32,349
put on a pot of tea
and we could all hang out?
165
00:06:32,350 --> 00:06:34,393
And that's exactly
what they did.
166
00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:37,605
Steve, Jack has had
the most amazing two years.
167
00:06:37,606 --> 00:06:40,190
I mean, if it was a movie,
nobody would believe it.
168
00:06:40,191 --> 00:06:43,110
Especially my
mom, who didn't.
169
00:06:43,111 --> 00:06:46,822
Jack, at what point did you
realize you wanted to turn your
life around?
170
00:06:46,823 --> 00:06:49,575
I was in that big tsunami
in Thailand.
171
00:06:49,576 --> 00:06:52,244
And I found myself
clinging to this tree...
172
00:06:52,245 --> 00:06:54,288
What kind of tree?
An acacia. Great question.
173
00:06:54,289 --> 00:06:56,915
For eight days with nothing to
eat but a packet of cashews
174
00:06:56,916 --> 00:06:59,835
that I'd grabbed from the hotel
honor bar before we floated out.
175
00:06:59,836 --> 00:07:02,671
And I remember thinking,
"Thank God for that honor
bar."
176
00:07:02,672 --> 00:07:04,715
And that one word
really stuck with me.
177
00:07:04,716 --> 00:07:05,924
"Bar."
178
00:07:05,925 --> 00:07:07,593
No. "Honor."
179
00:07:07,594 --> 00:07:10,346
I vowed that if I lived, I would
stay and help rebuild that
country
180
00:07:10,347 --> 00:07:11,972
along with my own life.
181
00:07:11,973 --> 00:07:14,683
And thus began my period of
worldwide spiritual
journeying.
182
00:07:14,684 --> 00:07:17,061
Boy, Jack, you have
a lot of substance.
183
00:07:17,062 --> 00:07:19,480
I wish I had a substance to
help me get through tonight.
184
00:07:19,481 --> 00:07:21,649
Sure there's no way you can't
take him back to your place?
185
00:07:21,650 --> 00:07:23,567
Absolutely not.
186
00:07:23,568 --> 00:07:25,486
Besides, his sobriety
187
00:07:25,487 --> 00:07:28,447
is making you look better
in Emmy's eyes.
188
00:07:28,448 --> 00:07:30,783
Yeah, I guess
you're right.
189
00:07:30,784 --> 00:07:32,619
Just have to suck it up
for a couple of days.
190
00:07:33,703 --> 00:07:36,580
It turns out Jack was
almost as much fun as Steve
191
00:07:36,581 --> 00:07:38,082
and twice as wholesome.
192
00:07:44,881 --> 00:07:53,722
He was the calmest wild
man I'd ever seen.
193
00:07:55,767 --> 00:07:57,476
Thank you.
194
00:07:57,477 --> 00:07:58,727
Did you ever think
a song that cute
195
00:07:58,728 --> 00:08:02,022
could be about halting
the Burmese sex trade?
196
00:08:02,023 --> 00:08:04,400
Well, it is.
197
00:08:04,401 --> 00:08:06,985
Who wants to guess what
"dinka, dinka" means?
198
00:08:06,986 --> 00:08:08,404
Who is this guy?
199
00:08:08,405 --> 00:08:10,322
Jack seemed
to have everything.
200
00:08:10,323 --> 00:08:12,950
He was even more charitable
than Andy.
201
00:08:12,951 --> 00:08:16,120
Just one bag of this rice will
feed a child for an entire week.
202
00:08:16,121 --> 00:08:17,454
Can you believe that?
203
00:08:19,207 --> 00:08:21,917
Hey, that dude's stealing,
like, a month's worth of rice.
204
00:08:21,918 --> 00:08:25,754
Oh, no, he's just my...
205
00:08:25,755 --> 00:08:27,256
Never mind.
206
00:08:27,257 --> 00:08:29,550
Live and let live, right?
207
00:08:29,551 --> 00:08:31,301
Later that night,
208
00:08:31,302 --> 00:08:33,637
my mom tried to catch Jack in
more lies about being sober,
209
00:08:33,638 --> 00:08:34,847
but it was hard.
210
00:08:34,848 --> 00:08:36,765
So I grabbed that
old Kenyan woman
211
00:08:36,766 --> 00:08:39,977
and I breathed
the life back into her.
212
00:08:39,978 --> 00:08:42,938
Her saliva infected me with a
horrible bout of dysentery,
213
00:08:42,939 --> 00:08:45,023
but it was worth
the suffering
214
00:08:45,024 --> 00:08:47,359
to give her just a few
more weeks of life.
215
00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:50,487
While Steve still tried
to bring out the old, fun Jack.
216
00:08:56,911 --> 00:08:58,829
And then Mr. Lunt had a
wholesome, mild heart attack.
217
00:08:58,830 --> 00:09:00,998
Steve! Gosh!
218
00:09:00,999 --> 00:09:02,750
The paramedic said
Jack's quick thinking
219
00:09:02,751 --> 00:09:04,793
probably saved
Mr. Lunt's life.
220
00:09:04,794 --> 00:09:06,879
Well, if they're so smart,
why aren't they doctors?
221
00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:08,213
Paramedics.
222
00:09:08,214 --> 00:09:10,216
They're like the stewardesses
of the hospital.
223
00:09:14,763 --> 00:09:15,971
Are you okay?
224
00:09:15,972 --> 00:09:18,891
No, I'm not okay.
225
00:09:18,892 --> 00:09:20,851
What's the matter?
226
00:09:20,852 --> 00:09:21,977
Tell Fa'ad.
227
00:09:21,978 --> 00:09:23,979
I don't want to.
228
00:09:23,980 --> 00:09:26,482
Tell Fa'ad.
Fine.
229
00:09:26,483 --> 00:09:29,818
I hate him. And I hope I never
have to see that jerk Jack
again.
230
00:09:29,819 --> 00:09:30,819
I know, right?
231
00:09:30,820 --> 00:09:32,029
How about the way
he was showing off
232
00:09:32,030 --> 00:09:34,323
just because
he saved Mr. Lunt's life?
233
00:09:34,324 --> 00:09:37,659
Oh, God, we're gonna have to
hear that story again and again
and again.
234
00:09:37,660 --> 00:09:39,912
He seems to be moving in
on your territory,
235
00:09:39,913 --> 00:09:41,497
leaving you naked
and desolate
236
00:09:41,498 --> 00:09:43,832
by the roadside
of Emmy's affections.
237
00:09:43,833 --> 00:09:45,834
No, I've known
Jack for years.
238
00:09:45,835 --> 00:09:48,629
He'd never move in on any
woman that I cared for.
239
00:09:48,630 --> 00:09:51,423
There's a code of honor
among fraternity brothers.
240
00:09:51,424 --> 00:09:53,634
Yes, but what if
he breaks the code?
241
00:09:53,635 --> 00:09:54,927
No, he'd never do that.
242
00:09:54,928 --> 00:10:00,265
Besides, there's no way
Emmy sees anything in him.
243
00:10:00,266 --> 00:10:02,184
Yes, of course
you're right, my friend.
244
00:10:02,185 --> 00:10:04,812
I'm sorry for planting the seed
of doubt in your mind.
245
00:10:04,813 --> 00:10:08,649
Now let's get back out there
and pretend to have fun.
246
00:10:08,650 --> 00:10:12,277
To be able to bring
somebody back to life like that
is so thrilling.
247
00:10:12,278 --> 00:10:15,364
Hey, I should
teach you CPR sometime.
248
00:10:15,365 --> 00:10:17,367
That would be
great, Jack.
249
00:10:20,745 --> 00:10:22,037
Oh, my God!
250
00:10:22,038 --> 00:10:23,580
The necklace twist
and a smile?
251
00:10:23,581 --> 00:10:24,957
She likes Jack.
252
00:10:24,958 --> 00:10:26,625
Hey, you know what?
253
00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:29,462
I'm not just pretending
to have fun anymore.
254
00:10:35,051 --> 00:10:38,095
My mother kept pushing
to reveal that Jack was a
partier
255
00:10:38,096 --> 00:10:40,055
to prove
that Steve was a liar.
256
00:10:40,056 --> 00:10:45,185
And that's when I realized that
I was put on this Earth to do
something.
257
00:10:45,186 --> 00:10:47,104
And it wasn't just
lines off some girl's...
258
00:10:48,815 --> 00:10:51,775
Oh, look.
There's Fa'ad.
259
00:10:51,776 --> 00:10:54,403
Have you seen an Indian
children's choir roaming around
here?
260
00:10:54,404 --> 00:10:55,821
They're one minute late
for rehearsal.
261
00:10:55,822 --> 00:10:57,197
No.
262
00:10:57,198 --> 00:10:59,616
Oh, falafel cakes!
263
00:10:59,617 --> 00:11:02,327
Ah, so I see
you're still with Jack.
264
00:11:02,328 --> 00:11:04,079
My mom decided
to stir the pot
265
00:11:04,080 --> 00:11:07,082
and make it look like she
liked Jack more than she did.
266
00:11:07,083 --> 00:11:10,377
Yeah. God, he is so great.
267
00:11:10,378 --> 00:11:12,754
You know, he's got Andy's
principles and Steve's fun.
268
00:11:12,755 --> 00:11:16,091
It's like he's the perfect
combination of Steve and Andy.
269
00:11:16,092 --> 00:11:18,927
"Standy."
270
00:11:18,928 --> 00:11:21,138
For someone so against
lying, my mom's really good at
it.
271
00:11:24,017 --> 00:11:26,059
Meanwhile, Steve stepped up
his efforts to win back my mom
272
00:11:26,060 --> 00:11:28,228
from the man
she twisted her necklace for.
273
00:11:28,229 --> 00:11:31,023
Let's line up, shotgun
formation on three, all right?
274
00:11:31,024 --> 00:11:32,983
Ah, you,
caramel-y dude in the
275
00:11:32,984 --> 00:11:34,234
Caroline in the City
T-shirt,
276
00:11:34,235 --> 00:11:35,944
I'm gonna look for you
on the far side.
277
00:11:35,945 --> 00:11:37,112
All right,
chunky and husky,
278
00:11:37,113 --> 00:11:38,572
you give me enough time
in the pocket
279
00:11:38,573 --> 00:11:40,616
and you won't be the only
ones who are untouchable.
280
00:11:40,617 --> 00:11:45,746
Here we go.
And hut, hut, hut!
281
00:11:45,747 --> 00:11:47,456
Oh.
282
00:11:47,457 --> 00:11:48,916
Look at this.
283
00:11:48,917 --> 00:11:51,209
It's almost worth
the curry stains.
284
00:11:51,210 --> 00:11:52,961
Steve, what are you doing?
285
00:11:52,962 --> 00:11:57,132
I'm giving these needy
children a day of magic.
286
00:11:57,133 --> 00:11:59,259
Uh-uh, these are
Fa'ad's kids.
287
00:11:59,260 --> 00:12:00,719
This is the Bollywood choir
he hired.
288
00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:04,139
He promised me $100 in Casbah
chips if I found them.
289
00:12:04,140 --> 00:12:06,058
It does not make them
any less needy.
290
00:12:19,572 --> 00:12:21,406
Did you hear that?
291
00:12:25,161 --> 00:12:27,245
How delicious.
292
00:12:27,246 --> 00:12:29,164
Your fun but wholesome pal
is showing you up
293
00:12:29,165 --> 00:12:31,124
for the debauched idiot
that you are.
294
00:12:31,125 --> 00:12:35,170
How disgusting that you're still
not as fun as I am on any day,
295
00:12:35,171 --> 00:12:36,922
you candy-assed
do-gooder.
296
00:12:36,923 --> 00:12:38,548
Oh, is that so?
297
00:12:38,549 --> 00:12:41,301
And so Andy set
out to prove Steve wrong
298
00:12:41,302 --> 00:12:43,011
about not having
a fun side.
299
00:12:43,012 --> 00:12:45,764
Emmy, so glad you could
make it to my party.
300
00:12:45,765 --> 00:12:48,266
Who's this guy? I didn't
say you could invite him.
301
00:12:48,267 --> 00:12:51,103
This is Jack and I think you
two have a lot in common.
302
00:12:51,104 --> 00:12:53,146
Well, pleasure
to meet you.
303
00:12:53,147 --> 00:12:54,564
Yeah, yeah, great.
304
00:12:54,565 --> 00:12:55,983
But this is about fun,
305
00:12:55,984 --> 00:12:57,150
so let's kick it
old school
306
00:12:57,151 --> 00:12:59,653
with my daytime,
fun-time jamboree.
307
00:13:01,322 --> 00:13:05,492
Come on, everybody.
308
00:13:05,493 --> 00:13:07,661
Fun Andy had
overloaded the tree house.
309
00:13:08,955 --> 00:13:11,456
Whoa! Nobody move!
310
00:13:11,457 --> 00:13:13,542
We are in extreme danger.
311
00:13:17,338 --> 00:13:19,589
The police said that if
it hadn't been for Jack's quick
thinking,
312
00:13:19,590 --> 00:13:20,757
we all
would have been dead.
313
00:13:22,927 --> 00:13:26,555
And the next morning, Steve
invited Jack to go bird-watchig
with him.
314
00:13:26,556 --> 00:13:28,098
See that
right there?
315
00:13:28,099 --> 00:13:30,934
That's a piping plover.
316
00:13:30,935 --> 00:13:35,105
So now we just sit here
and not shoot it.
317
00:13:35,106 --> 00:13:37,399
It's good to see you
slow down, Steve.
318
00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:39,609
Life doesn't have to be
a constant party, right?
319
00:13:39,610 --> 00:13:41,194
Yeah, right.
320
00:13:41,195 --> 00:13:42,946
Hey, listen, I'm sure
it's totally unnecessary
321
00:13:42,947 --> 00:13:44,281
for me to
tell you this, but,
322
00:13:44,282 --> 00:13:48,285
Emmy and I are kind of...
Know what I mean?
323
00:13:48,286 --> 00:13:50,746
You're kind of what?
324
00:13:50,747 --> 00:13:53,165
Well, I'm nodding and making
this face. You get it.
325
00:13:53,166 --> 00:13:57,044
Anyway, I'm gonna have to invoke
the code and ask you to back
off.
326
00:13:57,045 --> 00:13:58,378
Back off?
What do you mean?
327
00:13:58,379 --> 00:14:00,297
You want me to, like,
stop hanging out with
Emmy?
328
00:14:00,298 --> 00:14:01,923
I know it's stupid, right?
329
00:14:01,924 --> 00:14:03,550
It's not me.
It's the code.
330
00:14:03,551 --> 00:14:05,594
Okay, sure.
Code comes first.
331
00:14:05,595 --> 00:14:06,970
You're right.
I'll back off.
332
00:14:06,971 --> 00:14:08,847
So please,
by all means,
333
00:14:08,848 --> 00:14:11,975
go back to trying to steal
Emmy away from Andy,
334
00:14:11,976 --> 00:14:12,977
even though
they're engaged.
335
00:14:15,772 --> 00:14:16,646
Hey, pig.
336
00:14:16,647 --> 00:14:17,814
You done with those?
337
00:14:17,815 --> 00:14:18,940
Why?
338
00:14:18,941 --> 00:14:21,777
They're on another one
of their walks.
339
00:14:21,778 --> 00:14:23,195
Already?
340
00:14:23,196 --> 00:14:25,405
That's it.
This guy's going down.
341
00:14:25,406 --> 00:14:27,908
Hey, pig.
I want to help.
342
00:14:27,909 --> 00:14:29,785
So...
343
00:14:29,786 --> 00:14:32,579
Maybe...
344
00:14:32,580 --> 00:14:34,664
We should...
345
00:14:34,665 --> 00:14:36,291
Team up?
346
00:14:36,292 --> 00:14:37,834
And for the first time ever,
347
00:14:37,835 --> 00:14:39,628
Steve and Andy
agreed on something.
348
00:14:39,629 --> 00:14:41,421
We can do it
together, pig.
349
00:14:41,422 --> 00:14:43,340
All right, but if we're
gonna be partners...
350
00:14:43,341 --> 00:14:46,218
Oh, right. Steve.
351
00:14:46,219 --> 00:14:47,803
Yeah, let's go
back to "pig."
352
00:14:47,804 --> 00:14:48,721
Yeah, I miss pig.
353
00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:56,311
Steve and Andy's plan
was to make Jack look bad
354
00:14:56,312 --> 00:14:58,563
by tempting him
with all his old vices.
355
00:14:59,774 --> 00:15:02,901
Welcome to my Casbah.
Choose your game.
356
00:15:02,902 --> 00:15:05,487
Well, if memory serves,
Jack prefers baccarat.
357
00:15:05,488 --> 00:15:07,280
I don't gamble
like you guys do.
358
00:15:07,281 --> 00:15:09,991
So I'm gonna have some club
soda, maybe watch Emmy play.
359
00:15:09,992 --> 00:15:13,370
Great. Let's go.
Okay.
360
00:15:13,371 --> 00:15:16,164
Hey, see that guy over there in
the third-rate tuxedo and the
first-rate flip-flops?
361
00:15:16,165 --> 00:15:18,209
Send over a double bourbon
and keep 'em coming.
362
00:15:19,168 --> 00:15:21,711
I don't gamble.
So what?
363
00:15:21,712 --> 00:15:23,755
I don't care.
364
00:15:23,756 --> 00:15:25,799
Oh, changing
your ways, huh?
365
00:15:25,800 --> 00:15:28,219
Nothing like a little temptation
to keep the will strong.
366
00:15:39,689 --> 00:15:41,731
Sometimes I like to
double down on temptation.
367
00:15:41,732 --> 00:15:43,400
Wow.
368
00:15:43,401 --> 00:15:45,653
You really commit,
don't you?
369
00:15:50,575 --> 00:15:52,784
Steve and Andy kept
sending more drinks to Jack,
370
00:15:52,785 --> 00:15:54,161
but Jack kept resisting.
371
00:15:54,162 --> 00:15:56,413
Must have me confused
with somebody else.
372
00:15:56,414 --> 00:15:59,667
But my mom was committed
to exposing Jack as a party bo.
373
00:16:03,504 --> 00:16:05,797
You have got
incredible resolve.
374
00:16:05,798 --> 00:16:08,800
It feels good to have my hard
internal work appreciated,
375
00:16:08,801 --> 00:16:11,636
especially by someone I respect
and like as much as I do you.
376
00:16:11,637 --> 00:16:13,221
So mom played the flirt card.
377
00:16:13,222 --> 00:16:14,890
Too bad you can't
have a drink,
378
00:16:14,891 --> 00:16:17,309
because being drunk
is the perfect excuse
379
00:16:17,310 --> 00:16:19,561
to make that kind
of sexy mistake
380
00:16:19,562 --> 00:16:23,231
it would so obviously be
if we hooked up.
381
00:16:23,232 --> 00:16:24,983
Too bad you don't drink.
382
00:16:24,984 --> 00:16:28,069
Oh, my God. Do you see that?
The smile and the twist.
383
00:16:28,070 --> 00:16:30,906
She almost snapped a
necklace on that one.
384
00:16:30,907 --> 00:16:37,245
I'm gonna
go get some chips.
385
00:16:37,246 --> 00:16:38,914
Thanks.
386
00:16:38,915 --> 00:16:40,248
Hey, guys.
387
00:16:40,249 --> 00:16:41,208
Guess I'm not having
much luck at the table.
388
00:16:41,209 --> 00:16:42,709
Not what we saw.
389
00:16:42,710 --> 00:16:44,753
Yeah, looks like somebody's
about to get lucky over there.
390
00:16:44,754 --> 00:16:46,796
I have no idea
what you're talking about.
391
00:16:46,797 --> 00:16:48,506
We saw how you were
looking at Jack.
392
00:16:48,507 --> 00:16:51,843
And how he looks at you with
his Kumbaya sing-songy voice.
393
00:16:51,844 --> 00:16:53,720
God, I just want to throw up
thinking about that guy.
394
00:16:53,721 --> 00:16:55,222
Joke's over, okay?
395
00:16:55,223 --> 00:16:56,514
I know what
you're up to, Steve.
396
00:16:56,515 --> 00:16:58,141
I know you got
your big, drunk friend
397
00:16:58,142 --> 00:17:01,853
to pretend to be some sober
do-gooder to try to impress me.
398
00:17:01,854 --> 00:17:03,605
What could possibly
make you think that?
399
00:17:03,606 --> 00:17:06,233
Migo told me that Jack
is some big-time partier
400
00:17:06,234 --> 00:17:08,944
and then five minutes later,
Jack is telling me
he's practically a monk.
401
00:17:08,945 --> 00:17:10,320
He was a partier.
402
00:17:10,321 --> 00:17:11,488
Migo must have
told you that
403
00:17:11,489 --> 00:17:13,490
right before Jack told me
that he was sober.
404
00:17:13,491 --> 00:17:15,742
Look, I know how that
looks, but it's the truth.
405
00:17:15,743 --> 00:17:16,868
So you're not playing
a game with me?
406
00:17:16,869 --> 00:17:18,119
No. Wait.
407
00:17:18,120 --> 00:17:19,829
So you're not in love
with Jack? God, no!
408
00:17:19,830 --> 00:17:21,831
Especially now that
I know it's not an act.
409
00:17:21,832 --> 00:17:24,542
That guy is a jerk. All he
does is talk about himself.
410
00:17:24,543 --> 00:17:26,836
What about the half smile
and the necklace twirl?
411
00:17:26,837 --> 00:17:27,921
That means
you like him.
412
00:17:27,922 --> 00:17:30,298
No, it doesn't.
413
00:17:30,299 --> 00:17:32,425
That's what I do when I'm
lying about something.
414
00:17:32,426 --> 00:17:33,426
She did do that
when she lied.
415
00:17:33,427 --> 00:17:35,679
Mom, I won!
I beat Steve!
416
00:17:35,680 --> 00:17:37,389
You sure did.
417
00:17:37,390 --> 00:17:39,015
Even I knew that.
418
00:17:39,016 --> 00:17:40,809
But Jack misread it too.
419
00:17:40,810 --> 00:17:43,186
Hey, maybe I should
teach you CPR sometime.
420
00:17:43,187 --> 00:17:45,939
Sure.
That'd be great, Jack.
421
00:17:45,940 --> 00:17:46,898
Oh, that's what
she does...
422
00:17:46,899 --> 00:17:48,066
When she's lying.
423
00:17:48,067 --> 00:17:49,192
Oh, God.
424
00:17:49,193 --> 00:17:50,860
He's actually sober
425
00:17:50,861 --> 00:17:52,696
and I've been trying all night
to get him to pick up a drink.
426
00:17:52,697 --> 00:17:54,948
Oh, that's okay. He hasn't
touched any of the drinks we
sent over,
427
00:17:54,949 --> 00:17:56,658
so you're totally safe.
428
00:17:56,659 --> 00:17:58,952
Except five minutes ago, I
offered to sleep with him if he
got drunk.
429
00:17:58,953 --> 00:18:00,788
That would do it for me.
430
00:18:08,129 --> 00:18:26,813
No!
431
00:18:26,814 --> 00:18:28,189
I can't
let you do it, Jack.
432
00:18:28,190 --> 00:18:29,482
You've worked too hard.
433
00:18:29,483 --> 00:18:30,900
You've come too far, man.
Don't drink the poison.
434
00:18:30,901 --> 00:18:32,193
What's the difference?
435
00:18:32,194 --> 00:18:33,528
I'm miserable.
436
00:18:33,529 --> 00:18:34,738
I haven't been laid
in a month.
437
00:18:34,739 --> 00:18:36,406
Even Emmy
doesn't want me sober.
438
00:18:36,407 --> 00:18:38,366
The hell with it.
Jack attack.
439
00:18:38,367 --> 00:18:39,951
No, Jack. Come on.
440
00:18:39,952 --> 00:18:41,578
Come on, don't try
and stop me.
441
00:18:41,579 --> 00:18:43,371
No, Jack!
442
00:18:43,372 --> 00:18:45,081
I need it!
Give it to me!
443
00:18:45,082 --> 00:18:46,583
No, Jack.
No, Steve!
444
00:18:46,584 --> 00:18:47,709
Oh, good.
445
00:18:47,710 --> 00:18:49,127
Jack, I don't
like you.
446
00:18:49,128 --> 00:18:51,087
I won't sleep with you
if you drink.
447
00:18:51,088 --> 00:18:53,298
Oh, God.
My life sucks.
448
00:18:53,299 --> 00:18:54,424
No, Jack!
449
00:18:54,425 --> 00:18:55,925
No, Emmy!
450
00:18:55,926 --> 00:18:57,510
This went on
for a few more minutes.
451
00:18:57,511 --> 00:18:59,137
No, Jack!
No, Steve!
452
00:18:59,138 --> 00:19:01,765
No, Jack!
453
00:19:01,766 --> 00:19:03,058
Come on!
No, Emmy.
454
00:19:03,059 --> 00:19:04,225
No, Jack.
No, no, no, no.
455
00:19:04,226 --> 00:19:06,686
No, Andy.
456
00:19:06,687 --> 00:19:09,522
Wow.
457
00:19:09,523 --> 00:19:12,817
No one has ever done anything
this kind for me in my entire
life.
458
00:19:12,818 --> 00:19:14,069
You saved me.
459
00:19:14,070 --> 00:19:17,030
You honored the code
when I tossed it aside.
460
00:19:17,031 --> 00:19:18,990
Oh, God, you are so boring.
You are so boring.
461
00:19:18,991 --> 00:19:20,283
You used to be
such a fun guy.
462
00:19:20,284 --> 00:19:21,409
I get it.
463
00:19:21,410 --> 00:19:22,911
But before I go,
I do want to...
464
00:19:22,912 --> 00:19:23,995
Oh, God! So boring!
465
00:19:23,996 --> 00:19:25,121
You're just gonna say
something boring!
466
00:19:25,122 --> 00:19:27,040
Oh, Jack.
467
00:19:27,041 --> 00:19:30,210
You're an enormous buzz kill.
Get out.
468
00:19:30,211 --> 00:19:31,961
I understand.
469
00:19:31,962 --> 00:19:33,088
Farewell.
470
00:19:33,089 --> 00:19:34,672
And as Jack walked away,
471
00:19:34,673 --> 00:19:37,884
he thought to himself how glad
he was that he didn't drink.
472
00:19:37,885 --> 00:19:39,886
Well, you both did
the right thing.
473
00:19:39,887 --> 00:19:41,971
You didn't have to physically
drink all these cocktails,
but...
474
00:19:41,972 --> 00:19:44,933
Yeah, but then he wouldn't
have had... Drank them
475
00:19:44,934 --> 00:19:46,393
and I don't like waste.
476
00:19:46,394 --> 00:19:48,019
I love you, Memmy.
477
00:19:48,020 --> 00:19:49,354
I know. I know.
478
00:19:49,355 --> 00:19:50,730
It's so funny that he says,
"I loves you, Memmy."
479
00:19:50,731 --> 00:19:52,065
'Cause I loves you, Memmy.
480
00:19:52,066 --> 00:19:53,441
And you know what, Steve?
481
00:19:53,442 --> 00:19:56,111
I think you picked up
a few of Andy's principles.
482
00:19:56,112 --> 00:19:58,446
Honor, loyalty.
I'm proud of you.
483
00:19:58,447 --> 00:20:00,907
Thanks.
484
00:20:00,908 --> 00:20:02,450
Mmm-mmm.
485
00:20:02,451 --> 00:20:04,911
Andy, I think you're
fun enough to hang out
with this guy now.
486
00:20:04,912 --> 00:20:08,039
I'm a...
I'm a fun guy!
487
00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:10,834
Be careful.
488
00:20:10,835 --> 00:20:13,044
And so Steve and Andy
finally became friends.
489
00:20:13,045 --> 00:20:14,796
She is the greatest.
490
00:20:14,797 --> 00:20:15,922
She's the greatest.
491
00:20:15,923 --> 00:20:17,715
But it didn't last very long.
492
00:20:17,716 --> 00:20:19,342
You stay away
from my woman, pig.
493
00:20:19,343 --> 00:20:21,177
She lives in my house,
you ass.
494
00:20:21,178 --> 00:20:22,762
Your ass is the pig.
495
00:20:22,763 --> 00:20:25,515
You got a pig ass.
You got a pig ass.
496
00:20:25,516 --> 00:20:28,144
Hey, a casino fight.
37284
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