Original subtitles

Okie-dokie, everybody, our troubles are over.

Hahaha, you are immigrating.

'Scuse me if I not laugh.

We are going to make everybody rich.

Hey, I am like very much to be rich.

This time next week, we could have 500,000 pounds.

We rob banko.

Nah, we win on the football pools.

Ah, you never win on them.

Sure!

We have a good system.

All we got to do is pick 11 matches.

That gives us 220 lines.

We're bound to get one line right.

All right, how much we each be pay?

20 p's each.

OK, I pay it.

Now, pick the match you think is going

to be a scoring.

OK-- choo!

Ah!

Darby v. Queen's Park.

Darby, Queen's Park.

Okie-dokie, next customer--

Please, please-- here.

OK, pick the match.

- A-so-- - Arsenal--

No, no.

Fulham v. Stokeo.

Okie-kokeo.

Who's next?

It's my.

OK, pick the match.

Hartlepool v. Port Vale.

Okie-dokie.

And the next one?

Yes, please.

My scoring match be Liverspool v. the City of Bristols.

The City of the Bristols.

OK, who's next?

What's going on here?

We are doing the football pools?

You want to join in, Professori?

Only 20 p.

You could win 500,000.

Yeah, I could also lose 20 p.

Well, what's 20 p?

Well, it may not mean much to you.

But it does to me.

I don't exactly earn a fortune teaching English.

Why not you ask for a lifto?

Lifto?

More money.

You mean a raise?

A-so.

Forget the 20 p's.

We give you the free line. - Yeah

Now, just "picka" the match.

Yeah, well supposing we "picka"

the match later, all right?

Right now, we've got work to do. Now, come on.

In your places. - Ah!

Right-- now tonight, we are going to concentrate on the art

of conversation, all right?

Let's start with you, Ali and Anna.

Would you come out here, please?

Now, you have never met before.

And you are sitting on a park bench,

Anna-- ah, ah, ah-- when along comes Ali and sits next to you

and starts a conversation, all right?

Carry on.

Good morning, lady.

Come on, Anna.

Say something.

I never speak to strange men in the park.

Well, very commendable.

But let us assume that this time you do.

Start again.

Good morning, lady.

Good.

This being a very nice day.

Ya.

Anna, this is supposed to be a conversation in English.

Up till now, you've said and ya.

Would you try and speak in English, please?

Start again now.

Good morning, lady.

Good morning.

Oh, blimey.

It is being a very nice day.

Yes, it is nice weather.

Yes, it was also very nice weather yesterday.

Yes, perhaps it will also be nice weather tomorrow.

Yes, or perhaps it could be raining.

Yes, perhaps it could be raining.

All right, that'll do.

Thank you, both of you.

Absolutely scintillating.

Right-- Juan.

Si, senor.

Would you come up, please?

All right, now you are sitting in a restaurant.

A Spanish restaurant.

Yes, if you like.

When Su-Li enters.

Eh, perdon, senor.

What is a Chinese girl doing in a Spanish restaurant?

Well, maybe she likes Spanish food.

Ah, it's all right.

Right-- the restaurant is crowded.

But there's an empty seat at Juan's table, all right?

Juan, what are you doing?

Eh, I was sleeping on the table.

Yeah, carry on.

Su-Li.

Excuse, please.

This seat taken?

No, you sit. You sit.

Thank you.

Allow me to introduce myself--

Jung Su-Li.

My name is Carlos.

Juan, what do you mean Carlos?

Eh, I never give my right name when..

Plenty smart, huh?

You're not supposed to be picking her

up, just having a conversation.

All right, all right-- eh, want a drink?

I don't drink.

Bad for liver.

Eh, cigarette?

I don't smoke.

Bad for lungs.

Hehehe.

I bet you not married, huh?

You are very "lude."

Hey!

What's the matter with you?

I just make a joke.

What you want to talk about?

We could discuss whether dictatorship of proletariat

are better than dictatorship of bourgeois capitalists.

We can't do that?

Why not?

Because I don't understand what you're talking about.

Su-Li, does every conversation have to be a political rally?

Chairman Mao, he say we must use every

opportunity to spread Socialist doctrine

amongst unenlightened people.

Well, I'd be grateful if you would keep Chairman Mao out

of the classroom, all right?

Thank you both, all right.

Now, Max and Danielle, would you come out, please?

All right, now let us assume that you are at a party.

And you've just been introduced to Danielle.

Now, use your imagination and make a conversation.

Hello, beautiful.

Hello, gorgeous.

Hey, this party not very good, eh?

Why not we go somewhere else?

D'accord, let's go back to my place.

OK.

That was a short conversation.

Mr. Brown, there's an old geezer wants to see you.

He's sitting in the canteen.

What does he want?

I don't know, but he said it's very urgent.

Oh, very well.

While I'm away, you can do some exercises.

Hey, I know plenty exercise.

A 1, 3, 4, 6, 7, 9, 3, 24.

No, Juan, not those sort of exercises.

Exercises from your books-- page 120.

Sorry, wrong number.

Would you like another cup of tea, Mr.--

English-- no, thank you.

Oh.

Ooh, you know, you do remind me of my husband.

Really?

Yeah, just before he died.

Ah, Mr. Brownstone?

Brown.

Oh, Mr. Brown, yes.

I'm English.

Oh, congratulations.

Um--

No, my name is English.

- Oh, sorry. - Can we sit down?

Well, I'm rather busy.

I won't keep you a moment.

After all, this is a confidential matter.

Thank you.

Ah, my card.

Ah, The English School of Languages,

Principle, HC English.

That's right.

Now then, I shall come straight to the point.

Good.

- No use beating about the bush. - No.

After all, procrastination is the thief of time.

Absolutely.

Never put off till tomorrow what you could do today.

Very true.

Now then, where was I?

You said you would come straight to the point.

Ah, yes, yes. Yes, of course.

Thank you very much, Mr. Brownweather.

- Brown. - Brown!

Brown-- yes.

Well now, you see, our teacher of English for foreign students

has left us rather hurriedly.

And I want you to take his place.

Oh, you're offering me a job?

Your name was given to me by one of your former students--

Miss Svenson?

Ah, yes, Ingrid.

Ingrid-- yes, well, I'd like you

to start as quickly as you can.

Well, I haven't said I'll take the job yet.

The starting salary is 5,000 a year,

rising to 7,500 by yearly increments.

That's very generous.

The laborer is worthy of his hire.

What do you say?

Well, I'd-- I'd like to think it over, if I may.

Very well-- don't keep me waiting too long.

I need to know by tomorrow.

Good-bye, Mr.-- uh--

Brown.

I know.

I know.

Bad news, Mr. Brown?

No, on the contrary, I've just been

offered a job at 5,000 a year.

That's nice!

Hey, are you going to take it?

Well, I said I'd think it over.

After all, money isn't everything.

Oh, that's true.

There's such a thing as job satisfaction.

Yeah.

That's something money can't buy.

No.

So I've decided what to do.

You're going to stay here.

No!

I'm taking the job!

Leaving?

Yeah, I'm sorry to spring it on you

like this, Miss Courtney, but it's too good

an opportunity to miss.

I see.

And when do you propose to take up this new position?

Well, he wants me to start right away.

So I thought I'd report to him first thing in the morning.

That doesn't give me much time to find a replacement.

Yeah, I know.

But I can't afford to wait and risk losing the job.

Very well, Mr. Brown, you have obviously made up your mind.

And I wish you every success.

Thank you.

I hope you'll be happy.

But I think I can safely say, you won't

find another principal like me.

I'm sure I won't.

Right-- time's up.

Would you leave your books on my desk?

But before you go, I've got something to tell you.

I shan't be teaching you after tonight.

Deary me, have you got the bag?

The bag?

Yes, please.

Has Miss Courtney given you the bag?

You mean the sack?

Jolly good.

No, I shall be leaving for a better job.

We are being very sad to be losing you.

I shall miss you very much.

We shall hall miss you.

Eh, maybe you change your mind, eh?

No, I must strike while the iron is hot.

Holy ravioli!

You're going to get a job in a laundry?

I was just using a figure of speech.

I shall be doing the same job, but at a commercial school,

for a lot more money.

Well, come along.

Thank you, everybody.

Well, I hope you have the much luck.

Thank you, Giovanni.

Bye-bye.

Bye-bye.

May your days be filled with happiness.

Yours too, Ranjeet.

Anna--

My Allah watch over you.

You too, Ali.

Jolly good luck, Comrad Brown.

Su-Li--

Au revoir, Monsieur Brown.

Et bon chance.

"Sho long, bosh."

Good bye,.

Jamila--

"Mucho" success,.

"Gup!"

Ah--

Good morning.

Morning, what can I do for you?

I'm Jeremy Brown, English teacher.

You offered me a job yesterday.

Oh, of course you are.

Do forgive me.

I'm terribly sorry.

I've got such an awful memory for faces, Mr. Brownlow.

Brown.

Brown-- Brown-- Brown-- yes.

Please, sit down.

It's quite all right.

Well, when shall I start?

Start what?

Teaching-- I'm accepting the job.

Oh, have you left your other position then?

Well, yes.

I gave them my notice last night.

Dear, dear, dear, da.

That's most unfortunate.

Why?

Well, you see, we don't need anybody now.

The chap that left came back again.

Good, isn't it?

Well, not for me it isn't.

No-- oh, no, no. I suppose not.

No, no-- I-- well, dear--

what will you do now, Mr. Brownstop?

- Brown. - Brown-- Brown-- Brown!

Well, there's only one thing I can do.

And what's that?

Which way's the nearest unemployment exchange?

Hello, Sid.

Hello, Mr. Brown, what are you doing here?

I thought you'd left.

Yeah, well, so did I. But the job was already taken.

Ah, what did you do?

Well, I went to the unemployment exchange

and told them that I had five A-levels

and was a BA.

What'd they say?

Offered me a job as a road sweeper.

Here, have you ever worked on the market?

I could get you a job, you know?

Yeah, doing what?

Oh, are you any good at the bunny?

Uh-- what bunny?

The bunny rabbit.

- The rabbit and pork. - The.

The chatter. - Oh, the talk?

Yeah.

Well, what would I have to rabbit about?

Oh, well, look.

Hold that.

And I'll give you a rough idea.

Now, you got a stall in the market, you see?

And you got the people around you.

And you say, now, come here.

I'll tell you what I'm prepared to do.

I've got three and the gold

that you get in the chain-- worth 20 pounds.

The gold bracelet-- worth 15 pounds.

The golden earrings-- don't they look nice?

Don't they look nice?

jeweler's shop in Oxford Street,

it'll cost you 40 pounds.

I'm not asking you 40, 30, or even 20.

And 10, it would be a bargain.

, Joni.

Speak up-- speak up, chump.

First come, first served.

I'll find them the lot.

I'll take them.

No, I'm only demonstrating.

Oh, so.

What do you say?

No, I don't think it's quite me, somehow.

You'll have to go back on the dole then, won't you?

Well, I could ask Miss Courtney for my old job back.

Do you think she'd give it to you?

Well, I'm sure she will, if I crawl enough.

Enter.

Hello, Miss Courtney.

Mr. Brown, this is a surprise.

Did you forget something when you left last night?

No, no.

Then to what do we owe the honor of this visit?

Well, I-- uh--

you've done something to your hair.

My hair?

Yes, looks different someone.

Much more feminine.

Oh, really?

Yeah, if you don't mind my saying so,

you really look quite attractive.

All right, Mr. Brown.

What are you after?

Pardon?

Well, I'm wise enough to know when I'm being softened up.

Now, what is it you want?

Oh, a reference, no doubt.

Not exactly.

Wee, what is it then?

Well, I'll come straight to the point, Miss Courtney.

Good.

I thought about this new job last night.

And I suddenly realized that money isn't everything.

Really?

After all, you can't buy happiness.

So you've decided not to take this job.

You're very perceptive.

I tried to telephone you earlier today to ask

you to bring back the register.

Mr. English said that you weren't there,

because there hadn't been a vacancy after all.

Ah.

Yeah,.

So now you've come crawling back to me,

expecting to be reinstated.

Yeah, well, it would be grateful.

I mean, after all, it would be much easier on the students--

I mean, easier all around really.

Oh, I quite agree.

Oh, good.

Except for one thing.

I have already engaged a new teacher.

I'm wondering what the new teacher will be like.

He won't be as nice as Monsieur Brown.

Maybe we are be have lady teacher.

Hey, listen, everybodies, the boss is back!

Mr. Browno?

That's right, Sid just told us.

He didn't get the job.

He can't be coming back here.

Eh, it's too late.

We got a new teacher.

If new teacher leaves, Professori can come back.

How can new teacher "reave"?

We fix it.

We all act-a stupid.

New teacher thinks, I not teach these people.

I'll leave.

That's a good idea, amigo.

We all give stupid answer.

For you, that is easy.

Oh, sit down everybodies.

Hurry up.

Settle down.

This is your new job, Mr. Wilkins.

And Mr. Willkin, these are your students--

Ali Nadeem, Anna Schmidt, Juan Cervantes, Chung Su-Li,

Ranjeet Singh, Giovanni Capello, Danielle Favre,

Maximillian Papandrious, Jamila Ranja,

and Taro Nagazumi.

You'll soon get to know them.

Any problem, I should be in my office.

Right-- I do hope we're all going to get

on together extremely well.

Now, you-- can you tell me how far you're up to?

Por favor?

How far are you up to?

Ah, si, si.

Uh-- I am--

eh-- 5 feet 11 inches.

No, no, no, not how tall you are.

5 feet 11 inches!

Never mind.

I'll soon find out what progress you've made so far.

Now, you-- what is the feminine of Drake?

Miss Drake.

Really?

You, spell cough.

K-O-F-F.

What is an apostrophe?

According to the New Testament,

there are 12 apostrophes--

Peter; Andrew; James the son of Zebedee; John; Philip;

Bartholomew; Thomas; Matthew; James, the son of Alphaeus;

Thaddeus; Simon; and Judas.

You, give me a sentence using the word "defer."

Minks are bred for "de fur."

You-- explain the meaning of the phrase

"to bury the hatchet."

To chop someone's head off.

You-- complete the following proverb.

People who live in glass houses--

Should get undressed in the dark.

Explain what is meant by a circular letter.

Well, certainly, a circular letter is the letter O.

You--

A-so.

What is an aspirate?

It is-o tablet-so you take-o when-o you have cold-o.

You-- could you please, please tell me, what

is the opposite of a coward?

A bullard.

Well, I am appalled at your lack of knowledge

of the English language.

In all my years as a teacher, I have never come across a class

as ignorant as you are.

Well, no wonder your former teacher left.

It's enough to make any ordinary man leave.

However, I am no ordinary man.

I shall look upon this task as a personal challenge!

I am going to teach you all English,

if it takes me a lifetime.

Now--

Hello, Mr. Brown, what are you doing here?

I'm not quite sure.

Miss Courtney telephoned me this morning

and said she wanted to see me.

You don't know what it's about, do you?

I've got no idea.

Why don't you go in and ask her?

I was just going.

Enter.

You wanted to see me, Miss Courtney?

Oh, yes, Mr. Brown.

Are you still jobless? - Yeah, I'm afraid so.

I was offered another job this morning, but I turned it down.

Not enough money.

Oh no, the money was all right.

On the face of it, it seemed quite attractive.

Um-- office-- virtually my own boss.

Just didn't like the idea of working below ground.

On the underground?

No, Gentleman's Conveniences.

I see.

Well, would you like your old job back?

Yeah!

But I-- I thought you'd already offered it to someone else.

Well, I had.

But he telephoned this morning to say that he had left.

Oh, did he give any reason?

None whatsoever.

Well, Mr. Brown, I suggest you start immediately--

Ah, right, Miss Courtney.

--on a temporary basis, of course.

The boss is coming.

Nice to see you, boss.

Three hooray hip-hips for the boss.

Hooray--

- Hip-hip! - Hooray--

- Hip-HIp! - Hooray--

Hip-hip!

Hold your applause.

Thank you very much.

It's all right.

We are getting you back.

What do you mean, you are getting me back?

Well, it's like this, Professori.

We have the good news.

And we have the bad news.

All right, what's the good news?

Oh, blimey-- we are getting rid of Mr. Wilikins,

so that you can be returning.

You mean, he left because of your behavior?

No-so.

Last night, the Monsieur English came to find you.

Oh, from the commercial school.

Yeah, he's wanting to tell you he has a job for you after all.

Oh, well, that is good news.

But now, we come to the bad news.

We tell Mr. English you

are not be want a job with him.

So instead, he give job to Mr. Wilikins.

Hey, we plenty smart, huh?

Oh, yes-- plenty.

Professori, we have the more good

news and the more bad news.

All right, go on.

First, the more good news--

we got eight scoring draws on the football pools!

The bad news is, we forgot to post the coupon.

Yes, well, I've got some good news and some bad news for you.

Firstly, the good news--

now that I'm back, I'm staying.

And now, for the bad news--

from now on, you get extra homework every night.