All language subtitles for Mind.Your.Language.S01E13.The.Examination.576p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-MiU_track3_[eng]

Oh, dearie me.

I'm losing again.

Good evening, all.

Oh, hello, Sid.

Hey, how you doing?

You how?

How you doing?

Oh, thanks very much.

I'll have a pint.

I said, how you doing,
not what you're having.

Do what?

Never mind.
Come on.

Oh.

Hello, Curly,
what can I get you?

How about excited?

You are the five hundredth
person to say that tonight.

You win our star
award, a beer nut.

Oh, thanks.

And a pint for Sid.

Thelma Ritter.

Thelma Ritter, eh?

I'm Giovanni Capello.

Oh, that's not her name.

Thelma Ritter means
a pint of bitter.

It's Cockney rhyming slang.

Ah, sure, I remember.

That's 42 pence.

And a packet of
assaulted peasnuts, please.

Cheers.

Thanks a lot.

Hey.

How is the Las Vegas
kid doing, huh?

Terrible.

You never win nothing
on this machine.

I tell you, it's fixed.

Oh, no, lady behind
bar telling me it

is nearly time
for somebody to be

winning in the Jack in the Pot.

I try again.

But this time, I'm not looking.

See, I tell you
you not win nothing.

Yes, but I'm
getting three bars.

Look.

If I'm holding them, next
time I'll be winning.

You have already
spent one pound.

Yes, but if I'm
getting another bar,

I'll be collecting five pounds.

Or dearie me.

I'm not having any more 10p's.

Would you be changing
this, please?

Sorry, Ali, I
spent all my change.

Maxi?

I ain't got any 10p's.

I'll be losing
the Jack in the Pot.

Ah, Professori.

Good evening.

Good evening, Mr. Brown.

Hey, you want a Thelma Ritter?

Pardon?

Thelma Ritter.

Bitter.

You've been talking to
Sid, the caretaker, again.

- Good on.
- Sure.

He's teaching me more of
his cockeyed slanging rhyme.

- Cockney.
- Oh.

Scusi.
- Max.

Yes, Mr. Brown.

As a point of
interest, do you happen

to remember what a Cockney is?

Sure.

He's someone who was born near
the sound of bull's balls.

Bells.

Ho-kay.

You want a drink?
- No, thanks.

I just called for
some cigarettes.

Squeeze me, please, Mr. Brown.

Would you be having
change for a pound

to be putting in the machine?

You're wasting
your money, Ali.

Oh, no, I'm sure
to be winning.

I'm holding three bars.

Well, it's your money.

Let's have a look.

Good evening, everybody.

Excuse me.

Hey, what are you
doing, you damn fool?

I'm having a go on
this machine, you twit.

That was my winning.

How can it be your winnings.

I am putting the money.

Put 10p in.

Here is your 10p.

Get your dirty little
hands off my money.

That is my money,
you bearded bandit.

Why don't the pair of you--
why don't you share the money?

That's a good idea.

There's five of us.

That's one pound each.

I meant between Ali and
Ranjeet, then you've both won.

You're as wise as a holy guru.

Thank you.

Actually, it's time
you're all back at school.

It's your exams tomorrow.

You should take every
opportunity to study.

I know.

Okey-dokey.

We go.

Come on, Ali, you, too.

Got it all.

Waiter.

Pardon?

Gin and tonic and
a lager, please.

I'm afraid you're
making a mistake.

Don't be ridiculous,
I know what I want.

Gin and tonic for me and
a lager for my husband.

He's just parking the car.

Now, look, Madam,
you don't understand.

I am a schoolteacher.

Well, it's nothing
to be ashamed of.

I think it's quite
commendable that you

should supplement your income
by working in a public house.

Look, I'm not
what you think I am.

I'm not interested in
your personal problems.

I just want a gin and
tonic and a lager.

Yes.

Now.

A gin and tonic and a lager.

Hello, Mr. Brown.

Hello.

You have no idea.

I'll have a gold watch.

Pardon?

A scotch.

I wasn't offering you a drink.

Do what?

Oh, never mind.

Scotch.

20 cigarettes for me
and a gin and tonic

and a lager for that
lady over there.

She thinks I'm a waiter.

Thinks you're a what?

She thinks I'm a waiter.

Oh.

How long you been doing it then?

What?

This waitin' here like.

I don't wait.

I'm not a waiter.
- Do what?

Never mind.

Um, one pound sixty, please.

Yeah, well, actually, these
two drinks are for that lady

and gentleman over there.

Yes, but they've still got
to be paid for, ain't they?

Yes, but you--

all right.

Well, I'll pay for them,
and they can pay me later.

How much is it just for the
gin and tonic and the lager?

It's 72.

72.

Cheers.

Good health.

Ah, good health.

Here they are.

72p, please.

Didn't I see you take
a drink of my lager?

Yeah, but it was--
it was only a sip.

Oh, yes, I suppose you
were tasting it to make sure

it was fit to drink.

No, no, no, it was
purely accidental.

I have a good mind to
report you to the brewery.

Frankly, I couldn't
care less what you do.

Your attitude is typical of
the working class mentality.

It's people like you that
are ruining the country.

You're nothing but a peasant.

And you, sir, are
a Bourgeois snob.

72p, please.

I refuse to pay
for a drink that has

been contaminated by your lips.
- I see.

All right.

Don't pay.

You have it on me.

There you go.

Silence.

This is disgraceful.

10 minutes past 7:00, and
Mr. Brown has not arrived.

Oh, but you're mistaken.

He's here, isn't he, Anna?

- Yeah.
- That's right.

He's always early.

Yes, please.

Tonight he was here so
early that he was yet

ten minutes before he arrived.

He just went out.

Oh, and where
has he gone out to?

The toilet.

I beg your pardon.

Tea break.

Toilet.

Would you like to try again?

What they mean is
first he goes to the tea

room, then the toilet.

Hello, Miss Courtney,
sorry I'm late.

But you are not.

Really?

According to your students
you were here all the time.

Ah, yes.

Well--

- Well, where exactly were you?
- But we told you--

I am asking Mr. Brown.

Well?

Oh, yes.

Um.

And what is going on?

I don't know, but
from the sign language,

I think they're trying
to say that I was having

a cup of tea in the toilet.

Actually, Miss Courtney,
I'll tell you the truth.

I am late, and the reason
is is I just popped across

to the pub for some cigarettes,
was mistaken for a waiter,

bought two drinks for two people
I'd never even met before,

was called a
peasant, and finished

up by pouring a glass of
lager over a gentleman's head.

You're an even bigger
liar than your students.

I would have thought that
you would have made an effort

to be early this evening.

After all, it is
your last chance

to teach them something before
they take their exams tomorrow.

Yes, Miss Courtney, you're
quite right, as usual.

Not that I think
any of them have

the remotest chance of passing.

All right.

Come on.

Sit in your places, please.

She thinks we're all stupid.

Yeah.

Well, I think she's got a point.

Ah, por favor.

Yes, Juan.

What do you think
about this exam?

You think we pass?

Do I think you'll pass?

Juan, for the past 13
weeks, you've all been

coming here to study, right?

13 weeks of hard work,
diligence, and application.

13 weeks of blood,
toil, and sweat.

Slowly, little by little,
you have improved.

When you sit down to take
your examination tomorrow,

I have no doubts whether
you'll pass or not.

You haven't a cat
in hell's chance.

Oh, blimey.

You're not giving
us any confidence.

Maybe some of you might
manage to scrape through,

but I should be most
surprised if you all pass.

I shall pass to
prove superiority

of Republic of China.

Yes.

Well, we'll see about that.

In the meantime, I want
tonight to talk about the exam,

and afterwards, if you have
any questions about any point

you're not sure
of, then just ask

and I'll do my best
to answer them.

Excuse, please.

Not yet, Taro.

I want to talk about
the exam first,

and then you can ask a question.

Ah, so.

Now, the first thing is
I shall not be taking you.

Excuse, please,
Master B. Where

will you not be taking us to?

I mean that I shan't
be here tomorrow

when you take your exam.

Oh, jolly good.

We can be reading all the
answers from our reports.

There will be somebody here.

Oh, dear.

I am thinking I'm going
to be up the dummy tree.

In any case, you're
not supposed to cheat.

It's customary for another
teacher from another school

to take an examination
of this kind.

Excuse me, please.

Later, Taro, please.

OK.

Now, when you take
your examination,

the Cambridge certificate
isn't too difficult.

The exam is divided
into three parts, right?

First, there's an
oral examination,

then a written one, and
then comes dictation.

Is that his name?

Is that whose name?

The man who is
going to be taking

us to be doing the examination.

Dick Tation.

Dictation is when a person
reads something out loud

and another person
copies it down.

Ah, like the
short-fingered typist.

Shorthand typist.

Yes, please.

Excuse me, please.

You can ask your
question in a moment, Taro.

All right.

When you've completed
your examination,

the papers are taken
away to be marked,

and you'll be notified
of the results by post.

So, please, make sure
that you write your names

clearly on your papers.

Your Christian name
and your surname.

I cannot do that.

Why not?

I'm not a Christian.

If you want to be
pedantic about it,

Ranjeet, write your
surname and forename.

I'm not having
four names also.

The prefix fore in
this case is spelled

F-O-R-E and means first.

For example, forefinger.

Four finger.

One thumb.

No, we are not four fingers.

Si.

Si.

And one, a two, a three, a four.

This is my forefinger.

No, that's only one finger.

Wonder if I should
cancel tomorrow.

Por favor?

Never mind.

Excuse, please.

Yes, you can ask your
question now, Taro.

Request permission to
visit toilet.

Oh, of course.

Thank you.

Right.

Has anybody else got a question?

Yes.

After tomorrow, will
we see you again?

Well, that depends on so many
things, whether I'm engaged

for another term, or
whether any of you decide,

whatever the results
of your exam,

to come back for
a further course.

I will give you my advice.

And you can come
and see me any time.

Quiet.

Quiet.

Mr. Brown, can you
spare a moment, please?

Certainly.

I suggest you all study
your verbs until I return.

As you know,
another teacher will

be taking the exams tomorrow.

Yes.

Now, the gentleman
who used to be

the principal of this college
will be supervising your class.

He's in the office now,
and I thought it might

be a good idea if you met him.
- Oh, I'd like to.

Do try to make
a good impression.

It does no harm if he is
favorably disposed towards you.

This is our English
teacher, Mr. Brown.

It's you.

Small world, isn't it?

Good evening, Mr. Capello.

All ready for your examination?

Sure.

Everything's going
to be okey-cokey.

Buona sera, everybody.

Hey, has anybody got a pen?

Here.

But please remember
who it belongs to.

Sure.

I remember.

Hey, Ari?

What are you doing?

I tell you.

I've just been studying my verbs
so I'm going to write them down

on my hands so don't forget.

Typical of Western dishonesty.

No, I think he should.

Good idea.

Hey, you want to
write for tenses, too?

No, I'm OK on verbs,
but no good on pronouns.

So write the pronouns.

No need.

I already write them
on handkerchief.

Smart.

It is wrong to cheat,
don't you agree, Ali?

Not at all.

I am also cheating.

You also have got something
written on your handkerchief?

No, it is in my head.

This is terrible.

If you're found out,
you'll be disqualified.

Old Japanese philosopher, he
said, man who deals from bottom

usually end up on top.

You as well?

Taro not good on adverbs,
so have some written on chair.

See?

Ah, good evening, everyone.

Nice to see you all
bright and early.

I expect you're feeling
a bit nervous, yes?

I am not nervous.

Oh, good.

I am petrified.

Petrified.

Yeah.

Well, do your best.

And I'm not supposed to be
here, so I shall be in the pub.

All right.

But if you'll call in when
you've finished your exam,

I'll buy you all an
end of term drink.

Well, good luck, Taro.
- Thank you.

You must be nervous.

It's the first time you
haven't stood up and bowed.

Good luck, Juan.

Machisimo, gracias.

Good luck, Giovanni.

Thanks, Professori.

You're not too nervous
to shake hands, are you?

See, I'm very nervous.

Oh, nonsense.

Come on.

There, that didn't hurt, did it?

Not a lot.

Ranjeet.

That's funny.

Where did that ink come from?

It might be your
pen has got a leak.

Let me see your
hand, Giovanni.

There's nothing
there, Professori.

The other one.

There's nothing there, either.

But there's something
there, though, isn't there?

Oh, no, my pen's
got a leak as well.

I suppose while
it was leaking,

it just happened to
write a few verbs down.

Sorry, Professori,
my verbs is a bit bad.

Yeah.

Well, I suggest you
clean all that off.

I don't seem to have
a handkerchief myself.

Max has got a handkerchief.

And what's that sticking
out of your top pocket?

Oh, that.

That's not a proper
handkerchief.

Maybe Ali's got
proper handkerchief.

Let me see that
handkerchief, Max.

I see.

Pronouns are your weak point.

That's right.

I'll keep this.

What other little tricks
have you all been up to?

Ali, you're very quiet.

You keeping something
under your hat?

Oh, blimey.

How are you guessing that?

I didn't.

And while I think of it, Taro,
would you like to stand up,

please?

Very ingenious.

All right.

Juan, where's your-- where's
your little crib hidden?

Por favor?

Never mind por favor.

I know it's somewhere, it's
written all over your face.

Nah.

No write on my face.

Look, this is no
laughing matter.

Come on, Juan, where is it?

Under table.

Ranjeet?

Thousand apologies.

Danielle?

Anna?

Jamila?

Su-Lee?

We not cheat.

Prefer to pass
exam on own merits.

I'm glad to hear it.

Some last minute
coaching, Brown?

No, no, no.

I just came to wish
them good luck.

And they're going to
need more than luck.

Goodbye, Mr. Brown.

Listen, I'm sorry
about yesterday.

Goodbye, Mr. Brown.

Goodbye.

Good luck.

Now, I want absolute silence
during this examination,

understand?

Same again.

Don't you think
you've had enough?

How could I have had enough?

I'm still standing.

Yeah, you've been
to the loo twice.

Well, that doesn't
mean anything.

Oh, yes, it does.

Last time you went
in the ladies.

Ah, you're making that up!

Ha- ha.

Oh hello, Sid.

Same again.

Thank you.

Half a bitter please, Mavis,
and whatever Sid's drinking.

Sid tells me
you're not married.

That's right.
I'm not.

I'm not married as well.

Oh, congratulations.

I haven't even
got a boyfriend.

Really?

How about you?

No, I haven't got
a boyfriend, either.

Not a regular one, anyway.

Look, have a drink
with me, all right?

There's a quid.
Here you are, Sid.

Here's your pig's ear.

Pig's ear, yeah.

You're learning, ain't ya?

Good health.

How's your Lil?

She's still living.

You don't mean that.

Yeah.

Do you know when I was
coaching, I used to worship

the ground she walked on.

Now, I worship the ground
that's coming to her.

Not a very nice thing to say

It's more sincere.

You take my tip and
you stay single.

I've got no choice
at the moment.

I can't afford to get married.

Still, I've got Josephine.

Who's Josephine?

Is that your bit of crumpet?

No, my Siamese cat.

Well, my students will
be out I think by now.

Yeah.

There is a lot of it about.

I was talking about the exam.

Oh.

I'm going to miss
them next term.

Yeah.

Well, cheer up, son.

What you want is another drink.

What a good idea.

Yeah.

And this time, I'll have a pint.

Yeah, but--

Ah-hem.

Penny for 'em.

I was just wondering
how my students were

getting on with their exam.

Oh, I expect
they'll be all right.

I hope so.

I don't know what to do
with myself now that term's

over in the evenings.

Yeah, must get a bit lonely
for you living on your own.

Oh, I don't live
on my own, exactly.

I've got Josephine.

Oh.

Yeah, she's marvelous.

I wouldn't know what
to do without her.

She's very affectionate.

Every morning she wakes me
up by nibbling in my ear.

Oh, that must be nice for you.

I didn't allow her in
the bedroom at first.

No?

No.

Wasn't as clean as she might be.

Used to sleep in the bathroom.

Well, that sounds
a bit uncomfortable.

Oh, no, she was quite
happy on the floor.

She must think a lot of
you to put up with that.

Oh, she does.

Every evening when I come
home, she runs up to me

and rubs her body
against my leg.

Oh, you don't say.

She's Siamese.

Oh, well, that explains it.

Trouble is, like
most Siamese, she's--

she's inclined to
be a bit over sexed.

Yeah, she sounds it.

I'm thinking of
having her doctored.

Well, aren't you
such a nice fellow.

Pardon me?

Oh, never mind.
Where's Sid?

Oh, he's gone back
to the school, that is,

if he can find his way back.

Sid?

Oh, yes, Miss Chutney.

You reek of drink.

Beg your pardon?

Drink.

If you insist.

I'd like a drop
or two of sherry.

You've had more
than enough already.

Oh, thank you.

Well, have you finished?

Yes, please.
How'd you do?

Oh, I'm very well.

How do you do?

I mean, how did you
get on with your exams?

Oh, but we hope we haven't
let Monsieur Brown down.

Ah, Miss Courtney.

Would you care for a
sherry before you go?

Oh, I'd be delighted.

Oh, do have a sit down.

It takes me back,
here in the old office.

I expect you miss the
hurly-burly of school life.

Yes, I sleep nights now.

There you are.

Thank you.

You know, Miss Courtney, I
didn't know that you indulge.

Well, I don't, really.

Just the occasional sherry.

Oh.

Ready for another?

Oh.

Well, have you
all got a drink?

Yes.

Well, I'd just like to say
I wish you all every success.

It's been great teaching you
and, well, I shall miss you.

You have been
giving us much wisdom.

I am so sad.

Oh.

You are a wonderful teacher.

We never forget
our English teachers.

You are nicest
Imperialist I've met.

Professori, it's
been a real pleasure.

Si, si.

It won't be the same next time.

Yes.

We owe you big debt.

Well, cheers.

Cheers.

Good health.

Well, I really must be going.

I'm meeting my wife.

Oh, just one minute
before you go, Mr. Short.

How do you think
the foreign students

got on with their exams?

Terrible.

How do you think you
got on with your exam?

Fantastic.

Answer to the question, what
is a sentence, the chappie

in the turban answered, a
sentence is what you get

when you are sent to prison.

The questions are being
very easy to answer.

To the question, what
is the past participle

of I write, the Spanish fellow
answered, I have rotten.

I answer everything OK.

And the Chinese lady
was writing backwards.

Of course, I don't know how
they answered their questions,

but if what I saw was
anything to go by,

then I should be very surprised
if any of them passed.

Goodbye, Miss Courtney.

Well, I'm very
proud of you all.

I know you wouldn't let me down.

Right.

Should we have another drink?

Whose round is it?

Waiter.

Oh.

What are you
doing with my wife?

Nothing.

I was just--

You stupid fool.

I'm very sorry.

Let me buy you both a drink.

Oh, no, no, no.
Please.

Please.
Please.

Have this one on me.