Original subtitles

Ba ba ba ba ba ba, ba ba,

ba ba ba, doo doo, doo wah.

Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba, ba ba, ba ba ba doo doo doo wah.

Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo, doo doo

doo doo doo doo doo doo doo wah, doo doo doo doo doo doo wah.

Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba bah.

Oh, good evening, Mr. Brown.

Good evening, Gladys.

Oh.

You'll get me shot. They're for her ladyship.

Oh, she won't miss one.

Oh, ho, ho ho.

Is the old dragon in?

Yes, the old dragon is.

Ah.

Evening.

I'll take that.

Oh, are we economizing on biscuits, Gladys?

I'll get you some more.

I don't think she likes me.

She doesn't like anybody.

Oh, by the way, many happy returns of the day.

How did you know it was my birthday?

I saw your date of birth last week in her ladyship's ledger.

Accidentally of course.

Oh, of course.

Well, haven't told anybody else it's my birthday, have you?

No, not a soul.

Oh, good.

Quick, please, teacher coming.

Ah, good evening.

Ready?

Happy Birthday to you,

Happy Birthday to you.

Happy Bir Happy Birthday to you.

Wasn't that nice?

Haven't told a soul, eh?

Well, I might have mentioned it to one or two people.

Well, thank you all for your good wishes.

We are wanting to show our appreciation.

Well, that's very kind of you.

And we are all buying you a little present.

What?

No, you shouldn't have.

But we already have.

Yes.

Uh-huh.

May your shadow never diminish.

Thank you. Can I open it now?

Yes, please.

It is something for you to be using every day.

Oh, a pen--

very nice.

It is what you are calling a waterfall pen.

A waterfall pen?

That is correct.

Oh, you mean a fountain pen.

A thousand apologies for my ignorance.

Excuse me, excuse me.

What for you buy a pen?

For birthday.

I buy the pen.

I am not knowing about your buying.

Well, you take your pen and change for something else.

No, you must be changing.

Teacher prefer my pen.

How you know?

Mr. Brown, my pen much better.

It write under water.

Oh, I'm sure that's very useful.

My pen write in different colors.

Well, I'll tell you what, I'll take both pens.

I mean, after all, two pens are better than one.

All right.

Excuse, please, sir.

Yes, Taro?

Oh.

Three pens are better than two.

You haven't.

Yes, sir.

Well, I'll tell you what, rather than show

any preference, I think it'd be a good idea

if you all exchanged your pens for something else, yeah?

Yes, all right.

But thank you anyway, Ranjeet.

Por favor?

Yes, Juan?

Por favor?

Uh, pardon?

Happy born day.

Birthday.

Si, si.

Oh, thank you.

Wonder what this is?

Yeah?

What's that?

Pen.

Oh, dear.

I change.

- Yeah, I think so. - It's all right.

But thank you.

Happy birthday, professori.

Thank you, Giovanni.

For you.

Well, at least it's not a pen.

It's a salami.

Much garlic, a very strong.

Yeah, I can smell that. Thank you.

Excuse, please. Many happy returnings.

Thank you, Ali.

I am buying for you nothing at all.

Oh well, never mind.

But I am giving you this.

Oh, a card?

Oh, no.

Inside you will be finding a gift voucher from Harrods.

Harrods?

Oh, yes, please.

And you can be buying anything whatsoever you are wishing.

Anything?

Yes.

From Harrods of Knightsbridge?

No, please.

Harrods of Camden--

Abraham Harrods secondhand shop--

nothing over one pound.

Thank you, Ali.

Yes, Jamila?

Uh, Happy--

Happy, yes?

birthday.

Well done.

Thank you.

Oh.

Very nice.

Holly.

Holly?

Huh, holly.

Oh, holy.

Guy?

What, a holy monk?

No, guy--

Ah, holy cow.

Oh, I do.

Now it is my turn to give you something.

Yes, Danielle?

But first, I wish you happy birthday as we do in France.

Quiet, quiet!

Thank you-- thank you, Danielle.

Oh, um, and I have something very French.

Oh, thank you.

Oh, Eau de toilette.

Merci beaucoup.

It is a pleasure

for me to give you something.

Excuse, please.

What is the nature of the gift you

are receiving from Danielle?

Eau de toilette-- toilette water.

You put it on your face.

Oh, blimey.

You are putting water from the toilet on your face?

No, Ali, it's not that kind of toilet.

Very good.

May the spirit of universal brotherhood descend upon you.

Well, I'm sure it will.

Book to read every day.

Oh, I hope it's a good read.

The best-- thoughts of Chairman Mao.

Very uprift-- uh, lifting.

Personally autographed.

By Mao?

By me.

Now is me.

Yes, Anna.

I have made for you an grosse apple strudel.

It's very grosse.

Danke.

Bitte.

Well, uh, thank you all for your generous gifts,

but I really think we ought get on with the lesson.

Now, this week, we're going to look at the vowel sounds,

right?

Now, does anybody know what a vowel sound is?

Yes, please.

It is a rumble in tummy.

No, Ali, vowel, not bowel.

Sorry, please.

Right, well, there are five vowels in the alphabet.

A, E, I, O, and U.

A, E, I, O, U.

Good, now firstly, we'll take the letter A. Now,

this can be pronounced in three different ways.

It can A, ahh or ah.

A, ahh, or ah.

Excuse me.

Yes, Max.

I am not understanding.

How can a A be a ah?

It's not the letter ah, it's sometimes pronounced ah.

what language.

That's all right, I'll give you some examples.

Let's take the word F-A-T. Now, that has a flat A sound--

ah.

Ah.

Good.

But, if we add an E to the end of fat, then what do we have?

Fatty!

No, Giovanni, fate.

Now, does anybody know what the word, fate, means?

Por favor.

Yes, Juan?

Two fate.

Two fate?

Si, senor-- one right fate, one left fate.

No, Juan, those are feet.

Ah.

Pardon.

All right, moving on to the E. Now,

the letter E is usually pronounced eh, as in--

Eh.

-- bet, set, get.

Get.

There are, of course, exceptions to the rule.

For example, F-E-T-E is also pronounced fate.

Si, senor!

One right fate, one left fate.

- No, Juan. - No?

No.

Pardon.

Those are feet, I told you before.

It's all right, it's all right.

Right.

Moving on to the letter I. This is

usually pronounced eye or ih.

Ih.

Good.

Now, can anybody give me an example of the ih sound?

Ih.

Well, how would you pronounce F-I-T?

- Feet. - Si, senor!

One right feet, one left feet.

No, Juan.

No?

All right, listen, if you want to argue, argue in English.

Go back to Italy, you Italian spaghetti.

Ah, you big Spanish omelet!

Ah!

Excuse me, her ladyship wants to see you in the office.

Oh, thank you, Gladys, I'll be in in a moment.

Hey, maybe she's going to get you a birthday present.

Yes, and maybe the pope's getting married.

He is?

I never heard that.

No, it was a joke.

Look, I'll be as quick as I can.

Meanwhile, if you'll all turn to page 83

and study the sentences giving examples of the various vowel

sounds, yeah.

Giovanni?

You Would you take charge of the class when I'm away?

- Sure. - Good.

Allow me.

Thank you.

OK, I'm in charge.

Who wants the vino?

Enter.

You wanted to see me, Miss Courtney?

Yes.

Oh, I understand it's your birthday?

That's correct, another milestone.

Personally, I don't believe in celebrating birthdays.

I fail to see how the passing of years

can be an occasion for rejoicing.

No, of course you're right, I suppose.

Well, Mr. Brown, when you commenced teaching here,

I said that I would give you a month's trial.

Yes.

That month is now up and I feel it only fair to put an end

to your worry about the future.

Well, that's very kind of you.

I can assure you, you won't regret it.

I know I won't.

Miss Hardacre will start on Wednesday.

Miss Hardacre?

Yes.

She will be taking over your class.

You remember I did tell you that I prefer women teachers?

You mean I've got the push?

Well, let us just say that we no

longer require your services.

I feel that Miss Hardacre would be much more suitable.

Well, in that case, I suggest you get Miss much more

suitable Hardacre to take over tonight,

because I'm going home.

You can't just walk out like that.

Oh, yes I can.

And I won't say it's been a pleasure, because it hasn't.

All I can say is, in India, you'd be sacred.

Ba ba ba, ba ba ba, ba ba.

Ba ba ba, ba ba ba, ba ba.

10p.

OK, I stick.

Pontoon.

Five card streak only.

What do you got?

Queen of hearts, Jack of spades.

Hey!

You Should not be playing the cards,

you should be learning the English.

Sig heil!

Anna is right, you should be improving your mind.

You can improve my mind anytime.

How about tonight, eh?

We have the meal, a couple of glasses of vino,

then back to my place to make a love.

That is not improving the mind.

No, but it is very good for the body.

Hey, teacher is coming.

Oh.

Right, will you all pay attention,

please, I have something rather important to tell you.

I'm afraid that Miss Courtney has terminated my engagement.

It is a very big surprise to me.

Well, it was a bit of a shock to me, as well.

We are not knowing that you and Miss Courtney were engaged.

Oh, you don't understand, I mean, to coin a phrase,

I've been given the boot.

Si, senor-- one right boot, one left boot.

No, no, Juan, look, can't you understand?

I mean I have been fired, I've been given the bullet.

Santa Maria, she tried to shoot you?

No, I have been dismissed.

- Dismissed? - Yes.

Oh, no.

- You are leaving us? - I'm afraid so.

Why you leave?

Well, Miss Courtney doesn't think I'm suitable.

We go speak to her.

I'm afraid that speaking to her won't do any good at all.

OK, we twist her arms a little bit.

Yeah.

We tell her, if she not let you stay, we work her over.

Yeah.

You'll do nothing of the sort.

We don't have mafia tactics in this country.

But what is going to happen to us?

Another teacher will be taking over the class, a Miss

Hardacre.

I'm already not liking her.

It is not fair, and on your birthday.

Yes, but as they say in France, c'est la vie.

Well, I've enjoyed meeting you all.

I wish you all every success with your studies

in the future.

Aw.

Goodbye, Su-Lee.

Very sorry to lose you.

Well.

Jamila.

Anna.

Max. Good-bye, Mr. Brown.

Thanks.

Taro.

Good luck.

Thank o-- uh, you. - Juan.

Yes amigo,

Ranjeet.

I am wishing you all you are wishing yourself.

Thank you.

Giovanni.

He is very sad.

Please, Giovanni, you mustn't be upset.

I can't help it, I'm emotional.

Yeah--

Oh, blimey, you are starting me off, man.

You damned fool.

Come on, Ali, it's not the end of the world.

Good-bye.

Good-bye.

Danielle.

There will always be a place for right here.

That's certainly very kind of you.

Well, uh, good-bye everybody.

Thank you for your presents.

Good-bye.

And good luck.

I thought you'd gone.

Well, I was just collecting my things.

Good-bye.

Good-bye.

Now, as you are no doubt aware,

Mr. Brown is no longer with us.

It is making us very sad.

Yes.

I have telephoned your new teacher, Miss Hardacre,

and she will be arriving shortly.

In the meantime, I shall take the class.

Now then, let's see how you're progressing.

You, with the turban, what is this?

Pencil.

It is not a pencil.

Is looking like a pencil to me.

Let's try again.

What is this?

A finger.

Didn't Mr. Brown teach you anything?

Yes, please.

He's making us work like the clipper.s

The clappers.

Ah, clippers or clappers, we are working very hard.

Yes.

And we are all very sad he has gone.

Quiet now, please, class.

It is really no concern of yours.

I'm sure that you will find Miss Hardacre more than efficient.

And after all, a woman can do everything a man can do.

Not everything.

I was speaking academically.

Excuse me, Miss Courtney, there's a person out here

wants to see you.

What sort of person?

Well, I'm not sure.

Miss Courtney?

Yes.

Hardacre.

Oh.

I thought they were sending me a woman.

I am a woman.

I do beg your pardon, it must've been the--

well, perhaps you'd like to come to my office

and have a cup of coffee? - Oh, no time for coffee.

We must get started--

crack the whip, show them who's boss, keep them on their toes.

And by the look of them, they need it.

Beautifully put, but I think we ought

to have a little chat first.

Very well.

In the meantime, you can go on studying your books.

Don't talk, sit still.

I'll be back immediately.

Oh, blimey.

What a funny woman we are having.

I don't think I'm going to like this new teacher.

I think I go home.

Yeah.

I go home, too.

Nein!

What is use of going home?

You cannot learn the English at home.

Maybe I find a way, huh?

There is no way.

I am thinking if we make new teacher go away,

perhaps Mr. Brown is coming back.

And how you make new teacher go?

Very easy.

Gek!

That's no good--

we get the blood all over the class.

Much better we push her out of the window.

Ah, it is looking like we are being stuck with her.

We must do something.

It is duty to obey elected authorities.

Not so.

Laws are made to be obeyed.

Not if laws is bad law.

Principal's action are unjust.

He is right.

But what can we do?

There is nothing we can do.

Hey, I've got an idea.

What idea?

We have the strike.

Yeah!

Let's all have the strike.

What is the strike?

Does this mean you're going to be fighting?

No, no, no, no.

A strike like the big onions.

What onions?

The trade onions.

Please, please, please.

I think your strike is not going to be working.

What we are needing is to be revolting.

And I am thinking you are already revolting.

You are asking for a kick up the Khyber Pass!

Hey, huh?

Let's not quarrel amongst ourselves, eh?

Yes.

I know, why not we all have a sit-out?

You mean a sit-in.

Much better- adopt policy of non-cooperation.

Por favor.

When new teacher arrives in classroom, we no cooperate--

known as passive resistance.

For once, Japan, China in agreement.

We no speak to you teacher.

I like it.

We keep the trap shut.

, understand?

Si, no speaking, not a word.

That's right.

Hey, the senora, she come.

Good evening.

I am your new teacher and my name is Miss Hardacre,

and I have come to drum English into

your respective alien heads, and you have come here to learn.

Understand?

Good.

Now, I will take your names.

You, what's your name?

Are you deaf?

You?

Your name?

You.

Name.

I see.

Well, I don't know how long you think you're going to keep

this up, and I can assure you, it won't

make any difference to me.

I'm just going to sit here until somebody speaks.

Dummkopf!

You have squashed my apple strudel.

Well, I think I've got it off, now.

And I'll be sending you the bill, of course.

I thought you might.

Well, I wouldn't mind that coffee now.

I'm so sorry, I've drank it all,

but you'll find the tea room down the corridor.

Tea room?

Tea room?

You don't expect me to queue up with all those students?

Oh no, no.

While I'm teaching here, I'll take my coffee in your office.

Black, no sugar.

Hm, while I'm here, I think I'll have a look at your prospectus.

The little I've seen, you could do with a great deal

of reorganization.

Who is it?

It's me, Gladys, with your coffee and biscuits.

All right, come in.

You looked harassed.

I am harassed.

I suppose it's that new teacher, isn't it?

Yes.

The foreign students haven't spoken a word

since Mr. Brown left, with the result

that Miss Hardacre is spending her time

reorganizing the entire school.

She's already reduced two of the other teachers to tears,

and she's caused the caretaker to hand in his notice.

It's only a matter of time before she takes over my job.

Well, why don't you get rid of her

and ask Mr. Brown to come back?

I can't do that.

Why not?

Not after having dismissed him.

I have my pride.

Mind you, if he asked if he could come back,

I'd be only too happy to accept.

Ask to come back?

But we miss you.

Look, when I got your message to call here,

I thought it was for something serious.

But we are serious.

Yes.

If you ask Miss Courtney, she's going to have you back.

No, I'm sorry, it's out of the question.

If she wants me but back, she'll have to ask me.

Now, if that's all there is, I'll say good-bye.

Oh, Mr. Brown, please?

- Hey, Mr. Brown! - Oh.

Oh.

I was just seeing something

I was just going to look in on your old class.

- MISS COURTNEY AND MR. - I was wonderi--

- Sorry. - After you.

No, no, no, after you.

Well, I was just wondering whether you'd

consider coming back.

I was just going to ask you if there

was any chance of coming back.

That's settled, then.

I thought you preferred women teachers?

I do.

But Miss Hardacre was more masculine than most men

I've met.

Well, do you want your job back or don't you?

Oh, yes.

Good, you've got it.

We win, we win!

Mr. Brown is coming back.

Hello.

Well, if you'll all sit down, we've

got rather a lot of catching up to do, I'm afraid.

Excuse, please.

Before we are doing that, we are all

changing your birthday presents and buying

you other gift from Harrods.

The Camden Harrods, you mean?

Oh, yes indeed.

Here you are.

Oh, thank you.

A wallet.

Hey, a wallet?

I've got a wallet.

Hey, I got a wallet, too.

Ba ba ba, ba ba ba, ba ba ba, ba ba, ba ba,

ba ba ba, doo doo doo wah.

Ba ba ba, ba ba ba, ba ba, ba ba ba, doo doo doo wah.

Doo doo doo doo doo doo, doo doo doo doo doo doo

doo doo, doo doo doo doo doo doo doo,

doo doo doo doo doo doo wah.

Ba ba ba, ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba, doo doo doo wah.

Ba ba ba, ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba.