Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:34,200 --> 00:00:35,467
Ah, good evening, everyone.
2
00:00:35,567 --> 00:00:37,200
Ah, good evening, professor.
3
00:00:37,300 --> 00:00:38,133
All right, sit down.
4
00:00:38,233 --> 00:00:39,600
Good evening.
5
00:00:39,700 --> 00:00:42,233
Good heavens, Ranjeet,
you're actually here on time.
6
00:00:42,333 --> 00:00:43,133
Yes.
7
00:00:43,233 --> 00:00:44,633
Well done.
Now, where's my--
8
00:00:45,633 --> 00:00:47,100
Oh, yes, thank you, Juan.
9
00:00:47,200 --> 00:00:48,900
And thank you for carrying it.
10
00:00:50,900 --> 00:00:51,800
What?
11
00:00:51,900 --> 00:00:53,433
Oh, yes, thank you very much.
12
00:00:53,533 --> 00:00:54,233
Thank you.
13
00:01:00,700 --> 00:01:02,333
You Spanish creeper.
14
00:01:02,433 --> 00:01:04,633
You-- you an
Italian..
15
00:01:04,733 --> 00:01:06,267
All right,
settle down everybody.
16
00:01:06,367 --> 00:01:09,500
We've got a lot of
work to do tonight.
17
00:01:09,600 --> 00:01:10,433
Right--
18
00:01:10,533 --> 00:01:11,500
Excuse, please.
19
00:01:11,600 --> 00:01:13,467
Uh, just sit down a
minute, Ali, will you?
20
00:01:13,567 --> 00:01:14,567
No thank you.
21
00:01:14,667 --> 00:01:16,367
I'm only coming to tell
you I'm not coming.
22
00:01:16,467 --> 00:01:17,133
Not coming?
23
00:01:17,233 --> 00:01:18,500
Yes, please.
24
00:01:18,600 --> 00:01:20,267
Well, but you can't leave
in the middle of a term.
25
00:01:20,367 --> 00:01:21,567
I mean, you were
doing quite well.
26
00:01:21,667 --> 00:01:22,633
Why do you want to leave?
27
00:01:22,733 --> 00:01:25,033
Oh, blimey, I'm coming
up on the puddles.
28
00:01:25,133 --> 00:01:26,367
Coming up on the puddles?
29
00:01:26,467 --> 00:01:28,233
Yes, please, the
football puddles.
30
00:01:28,333 --> 00:01:29,667
Oh, the football pools.
31
00:01:29,767 --> 00:01:33,400
Yes, and I'm getting
eight scoring draws.
32
00:01:33,500 --> 00:01:35,267
How many draws
on the??
33
00:01:35,367 --> 00:01:37,800
Only the eight I am getting!
34
00:01:37,900 --> 00:01:39,133
How much do you win?
35
00:01:39,233 --> 00:01:41,733
Oh, blimey, it could
be half a million pounds.
36
00:01:41,833 --> 00:01:42,667
Aye, aye, aye!
37
00:01:42,767 --> 00:01:44,667
Santa Maria!
38
00:01:44,767 --> 00:01:50,200
Ah, I'm very happy for you,
because you are my best friend!
39
00:01:50,300 --> 00:01:52,833
He's also my friend.
40
00:01:57,900 --> 00:02:00,867
I am too friend of Ali!
41
00:02:00,967 --> 00:02:01,833
You?
42
00:02:01,933 --> 00:02:02,900
But of course!
43
00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:06,400
We are practically
bloody brothers.
44
00:02:06,500 --> 00:02:08,400
I thought you
didn't like Muslims.
45
00:02:08,500 --> 00:02:10,867
I love Muslims,
especially when they are
46
00:02:10,967 --> 00:02:12,533
having a half a million pounds!
47
00:02:12,633 --> 00:02:14,467
Uh, well, I don't
know what to say, Ali.
48
00:02:14,567 --> 00:02:16,300
I mean, I'm very pleased
for you, of course.
49
00:02:16,400 --> 00:02:18,000
I'm also being
very pleased for me.
50
00:02:18,100 --> 00:02:19,267
Yeah, what will you do?
51
00:02:19,367 --> 00:02:21,833
Oh, blimey, I'm
going to the bed.
52
00:02:21,933 --> 00:02:22,800
To bed?
53
00:02:22,900 --> 00:02:24,167
Yes, please.
54
00:02:24,267 --> 00:02:26,467
With all that money, I'm
not needing to be working.
55
00:02:26,567 --> 00:02:27,833
So I'm going to bed.
56
00:02:27,933 --> 00:02:29,633
You mean you're
going to retire.
57
00:02:29,733 --> 00:02:31,000
Most definitely.
58
00:02:31,100 --> 00:02:32,833
Ah, you quite sure you've
got eight score draws?
59
00:02:32,933 --> 00:02:35,067
Oh, yes, I got the copy.
60
00:02:35,167 --> 00:02:38,300
Here, please, the
one I am ticking off.
61
00:02:38,400 --> 00:02:39,367
I see.
62
00:02:39,467 --> 00:02:40,600
Yeah, well, Ali, I
don't think you're going
63
00:02:40,700 --> 00:02:41,800
to be able to retire just yet.
64
00:02:41,900 --> 00:02:43,100
You mean he's not
got eight draws?
65
00:02:43,200 --> 00:02:44,933
No, he has.
He's got the eight.
66
00:02:45,033 --> 00:02:45,900
He's got eight draws, but--
67
00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:47,100
Oh, good.
68
00:02:47,200 --> 00:02:48,233
They're not all
on the same line.
69
00:02:48,333 --> 00:02:49,933
What difference
is that making?
70
00:02:50,033 --> 00:02:52,367
Well, it means you
haven't won anything.
71
00:02:52,467 --> 00:02:53,500
Nothing at all?
72
00:02:53,600 --> 00:02:54,600
Nothing at all.
73
00:02:54,700 --> 00:02:56,467
Ha,.
74
00:02:56,567 --> 00:02:57,500
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
75
00:02:58,533 --> 00:02:59,233
Loco!
76
00:03:02,300 --> 00:03:04,800
Muslim do it--
77
00:03:04,900 --> 00:03:06,733
no brains whatsoever!
78
00:03:06,833 --> 00:03:09,133
Oh, blimey, you
are changing tune.
79
00:03:09,233 --> 00:03:11,100
When you are thinking
that I am very wealthy,
80
00:03:11,200 --> 00:03:12,600
you are being my bloody brother.
81
00:03:12,700 --> 00:03:15,600
That is before I am finding
out you are bloody stupid!
82
00:03:15,700 --> 00:03:19,100
Don't you call me bloody
stupid, you bearded baboon!
83
00:03:19,200 --> 00:03:20,933
Quiet, the pair of
you, and sit down.
84
00:03:21,033 --> 00:03:23,000
I-- I presume
you're staying now.
85
00:03:23,100 --> 00:03:24,200
Are you?
86
00:03:24,300 --> 00:03:25,567
I'm staying now, yes.
87
00:03:25,667 --> 00:03:27,300
Good, right.
88
00:03:27,400 --> 00:03:29,800
Now, this evening I thought
we'd try some practical use
89
00:03:29,900 --> 00:03:31,400
of the English
language by acting
90
00:03:31,500 --> 00:03:35,100
out various situations that you
might come across in real life.
91
00:03:35,200 --> 00:03:37,500
Now, we'll start with you, Taro.
92
00:03:41,600 --> 00:03:44,933
Now, you are
going to the bank.
93
00:03:45,033 --> 00:03:46,267
Bank-o?
94
00:03:46,367 --> 00:03:47,767
Yes-o.
95
00:03:47,867 --> 00:03:49,533
Where are you going?
96
00:03:49,633 --> 00:03:50,733
Bank-o.
97
00:03:50,833 --> 00:03:53,400
No, no, it's only
a pretend bank.
98
00:03:53,500 --> 00:03:54,333
Pretend-o?
99
00:03:54,433 --> 00:03:55,700
Yes-o, y-yes.
100
00:03:55,800 --> 00:03:58,233
Look, we'll imagine that this
table is the bank counter,
101
00:03:58,333 --> 00:04:00,633
that I'm the bank clerk,
that you are a customer,
102
00:04:00,733 --> 00:04:03,867
and you've come in to
cash a check, all right?
103
00:04:03,967 --> 00:04:05,200
OK-o.
104
00:04:05,300 --> 00:04:06,400
Good morning, sir.
105
00:04:06,500 --> 00:04:09,567
It is-o not good morning time.
106
00:04:09,667 --> 00:04:12,933
It is-o good night time.
107
00:04:13,033 --> 00:04:14,133
Yes, it is now.
108
00:04:14,233 --> 00:04:16,233
But we are pretending.
109
00:04:16,333 --> 00:04:17,633
Ah, so.
110
00:04:17,733 --> 00:04:19,133
Carry on.
- Thank you.
111
00:04:19,233 --> 00:04:20,233
Good morning, sir.
112
00:04:20,333 --> 00:04:22,033
- One moment-o.
- What is it now?
113
00:04:22,133 --> 00:04:25,467
Are you Barclays-o
or Midland-o?
114
00:04:25,567 --> 00:04:28,167
It doesn't matter,
Midland if you like.
115
00:04:28,267 --> 00:04:29,533
Good morning, sir.
116
00:04:29,633 --> 00:04:30,467
Goodbye.
117
00:04:33,967 --> 00:04:35,933
Goodbye?
118
00:04:36,033 --> 00:04:40,033
Midland-o not my bank-o.
119
00:04:40,133 --> 00:04:42,400
Barclays-o my bank-o.
120
00:04:42,500 --> 00:04:44,967
Yeah, all right,
it's Barclays.
121
00:04:45,067 --> 00:04:46,500
Good morning, sir.
122
00:04:46,600 --> 00:04:48,167
Good morning.
123
00:04:48,267 --> 00:04:50,033
You wish to cash a check?
124
00:04:50,133 --> 00:04:51,067
Yes, please-o.
125
00:04:51,167 --> 00:04:52,167
Good, how much--
126
00:04:52,267 --> 00:04:54,667
10 pounds, 20, 30?
- 30-o.
127
00:04:54,767 --> 00:04:56,000
How do you want it?
128
00:04:56,100 --> 00:04:59,067
In money, please-o.
129
00:04:59,167 --> 00:05:01,967
30 pounds in tens,
ones, or fives, or what?
130
00:05:02,067 --> 00:05:05,367
Can I have 30-o fives-o?
131
00:05:05,467 --> 00:05:07,400
No, that would be 150 pounds!
132
00:05:07,500 --> 00:05:10,467
- Oh, sorry for mistake-o.
- Yeah, well, not to worry.
133
00:05:10,567 --> 00:05:12,233
Thank you, Taro.
That's not too bad.
134
00:05:12,333 --> 00:05:13,733
Now, who shall we have next?
135
00:05:13,833 --> 00:05:16,333
Ah, Danielle.
136
00:05:20,433 --> 00:05:23,133
You are the nicest
banker I have seen.
137
00:05:23,233 --> 00:05:24,967
Eh, so we're not
in the bank now.
138
00:05:25,067 --> 00:05:27,133
I want you to imagine
something different.
139
00:05:27,233 --> 00:05:29,467
Mm, I have very
good imagination.
140
00:05:29,567 --> 00:05:30,933
Yes, I'm sure you have.
141
00:05:31,033 --> 00:05:34,000
Now, I want you to-- uh, you
are going to the post office,
142
00:05:34,100 --> 00:05:35,733
and I am the assistant.
143
00:05:35,833 --> 00:05:39,433
Oh, mm-- excuse
me, can you help me?
144
00:05:39,533 --> 00:05:41,400
Certainly madam,
what is it you wish?
145
00:05:41,500 --> 00:05:43,867
How much it is
a letter to post?
146
00:05:43,967 --> 00:05:45,267
Is it to somewhere in England?
147
00:05:45,367 --> 00:05:47,967
No, it is a Swiss letter.
148
00:05:48,067 --> 00:05:49,300
A Swiss letter?
149
00:05:49,400 --> 00:05:51,267
Yes, I write to my
boyfriend in Switzerland.
150
00:05:51,367 --> 00:05:52,567
Yeah, well, it's
more correct to say
151
00:05:52,667 --> 00:05:54,167
that you want to send a
letter to Switzerland,
152
00:05:54,267 --> 00:05:55,400
not a Swiss letter.
153
00:05:55,500 --> 00:05:56,400
It could be rather
embarrassing if you were
154
00:05:56,500 --> 00:05:59,200
writing to someone in France.
155
00:05:59,300 --> 00:05:59,933
Pardon?
156
00:06:00,033 --> 00:06:00,967
Oh, it doesn't matter.
157
00:06:01,067 --> 00:06:02,233
It's not--
158
00:06:02,333 --> 00:06:05,033
I think I need some
extra English lesson.
159
00:06:05,133 --> 00:06:07,433
Maybe I could stay here
with you after class?
160
00:06:07,533 --> 00:06:10,267
No, I don't think
we could do that.
161
00:06:10,367 --> 00:06:12,567
Well, I-- I come
home with you, and you
162
00:06:12,667 --> 00:06:13,833
can teach me a lot there.
163
00:06:13,933 --> 00:06:15,167
Yes, I'm sure I could.
164
00:06:15,267 --> 00:06:17,767
But I think you know
quite sufficient already.
165
00:06:17,867 --> 00:06:20,367
Now, is there anything
else you want?
166
00:06:20,467 --> 00:06:23,333
Yes, but I cannot
tell you here.
167
00:06:24,367 --> 00:06:25,500
Oh!
168
00:06:25,600 --> 00:06:27,867
From the post office?
169
00:06:27,967 --> 00:06:29,633
No, nothing.
170
00:06:29,733 --> 00:06:30,900
Mm, well, all right--
171
00:06:31,000 --> 00:06:31,833
thank you, Danielle.
172
00:06:31,933 --> 00:06:34,467
That will do.
173
00:06:34,567 --> 00:06:35,833
Now, Juan?
174
00:06:35,933 --> 00:06:37,367
Si, se or.
175
00:06:37,467 --> 00:06:39,767
You are going to the
employment exchange.
176
00:06:39,867 --> 00:06:40,733
Por favor?
177
00:06:40,833 --> 00:06:41,967
Well, you're going to get--
178
00:06:42,067 --> 00:06:42,933
to get a job.
179
00:06:43,033 --> 00:06:44,600
Ah, I have job.
180
00:06:44,700 --> 00:06:45,700
Yeah, I know that.
181
00:06:45,800 --> 00:06:47,233
But we're assuming
that you don't
182
00:06:47,333 --> 00:06:49,333
and that you're going to the
employment exchange to get one.
183
00:06:49,433 --> 00:06:51,633
As I explained to Taro,
we are just pretending.
184
00:06:51,733 --> 00:06:52,600
Ah, sorry.
185
00:06:52,700 --> 00:06:55,700
Ah, right, what is your name?
186
00:06:55,800 --> 00:06:57,567
You know my name.
187
00:06:57,667 --> 00:06:58,633
Yes, I do.
188
00:06:58,733 --> 00:07:00,400
But the clerk at the
job center doesn't.
189
00:07:00,500 --> 00:07:01,733
Ah, si--
190
00:07:01,833 --> 00:07:04,100
Juan Cervantes.
191
00:07:04,200 --> 00:07:07,200
Oh, right.
Are you married?
192
00:07:07,300 --> 00:07:13,267
Si, I'm married to
Gina Lollobrigida!
193
00:07:15,967 --> 00:07:19,067
Don't be ridiculous.
194
00:07:19,167 --> 00:07:21,900
Pretending.
195
00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:26,133
Touche-- all right, what sort
of a job are you looking for?
196
00:07:26,233 --> 00:07:27,833
A plenty money job.
197
00:07:27,933 --> 00:07:30,233
Yeah, but what sort of work
do you want to do in order
198
00:07:30,333 --> 00:07:32,367
to earn this plenty money?
199
00:07:32,467 --> 00:07:34,867
Plenty little.
200
00:07:34,967 --> 00:07:36,600
All right, Juan, thank you.
201
00:07:36,700 --> 00:07:37,767
That'll be sufficient.
202
00:07:37,867 --> 00:07:40,300
Pity, I like it,
a very good game.
203
00:07:40,400 --> 00:07:43,200
Thank you, Juan.
204
00:07:43,300 --> 00:07:44,800
Right, so now, Ranjeet?
205
00:07:48,200 --> 00:07:50,133
What is it you are
wanting me to do?
206
00:07:50,233 --> 00:07:52,167
Ah, you are going
to the doctor's.
207
00:07:52,267 --> 00:07:54,200
And what is the
nature of my complaint?
208
00:07:54,300 --> 00:07:56,667
Well, let's just say
that you don't feel well.
209
00:07:56,767 --> 00:07:58,167
But I am never feeling better.
210
00:07:58,267 --> 00:08:00,567
Yeah, well, pretend
you have a cold.
211
00:08:00,667 --> 00:08:01,600
A cold what?
212
00:08:04,167 --> 00:08:05,500
All right, let's
forgot about the cold.
213
00:08:05,600 --> 00:08:07,900
Just imagine that
you have to pain.
214
00:08:08,000 --> 00:08:10,400
Very well, sir.
215
00:08:10,500 --> 00:08:12,133
Well, go on.
216
00:08:12,233 --> 00:08:16,433
A thousand apologies, I am
waiting for you to say next,
217
00:08:16,533 --> 00:08:17,267
please.
218
00:08:17,367 --> 00:08:21,033
Doctor always say next, please.
219
00:08:21,133 --> 00:08:23,867
Next, please.
220
00:08:23,967 --> 00:08:24,800
Good morning, doctor.
221
00:08:24,900 --> 00:08:25,900
Good morning.
222
00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:27,767
And what seems to
be the trouble?
223
00:08:27,867 --> 00:08:29,833
I have terrible pain.
224
00:08:29,933 --> 00:08:30,867
Whereabouts?
225
00:08:30,967 --> 00:08:34,467
In my imagination.
226
00:08:34,567 --> 00:08:37,867
You're supposed to
pretend it's a real pain.
227
00:08:37,967 --> 00:08:40,600
A thousand apologies again.
228
00:08:40,700 --> 00:08:42,900
I have real, terrible pain.
229
00:08:43,000 --> 00:08:45,533
Good, now, whereabouts
is this pain?
230
00:08:45,633 --> 00:08:47,800
In my foot!
231
00:08:48,867 --> 00:08:51,200
But his brains are hurting.
232
00:08:51,300 --> 00:08:53,500
Your backside will
be hurting in a moment!
233
00:08:53,600 --> 00:08:56,100
Oh, blimey, you couldn't
even crack a..
234
00:08:56,200 --> 00:08:57,433
I'll give you!
235
00:08:57,533 --> 00:08:59,733
I'll give you
bunches of!!
236
00:09:03,933 --> 00:09:05,000
Ah, Miss Courtney.
237
00:09:05,100 --> 00:09:06,367
What on earth is
going on in here?
238
00:09:06,467 --> 00:09:08,633
Well, we were just having
a few practical lessons.
239
00:09:08,733 --> 00:09:11,000
What in, unarmed combat?
240
00:09:11,100 --> 00:09:12,367
Well, It might come in useful.
241
00:09:12,467 --> 00:09:16,133
Ah, well, I'm afraid your
students will have to do
242
00:09:16,233 --> 00:09:17,400
without you for a little while.
243
00:09:17,500 --> 00:09:20,033
You're wanted down at
the police station.
244
00:09:20,133 --> 00:09:21,133
The police station?
245
00:09:21,233 --> 00:09:22,133
There's no need
to look so guilty.
246
00:09:22,233 --> 00:09:23,500
It's nothing you've done.
247
00:09:23,600 --> 00:09:26,167
It's about one of your
students, the Indian lady.
248
00:09:26,267 --> 00:09:28,467
Oh, Jamila-- well, has
something happened to her?
249
00:09:28,567 --> 00:09:33,333
Yes, she's been
arrested for shoplifting.
250
00:09:56,100 --> 00:09:58,000
Hello?
251
00:09:58,100 --> 00:09:59,600
Constable Wilkins?
252
00:09:59,700 --> 00:10:00,800
Where the devil are you?
253
00:10:00,900 --> 00:10:02,767
You should have been
back here by now.
254
00:10:02,867 --> 00:10:04,067
Pardon?
255
00:10:04,167 --> 00:10:07,033
No, I will not send
a panda car for you.
256
00:10:07,133 --> 00:10:08,833
I don't care if someone
has pinched your bicycle.
257
00:10:08,933 --> 00:10:09,767
Pinch somebody else's!
258
00:10:13,067 --> 00:10:15,533
Would you like a cup of tea?
259
00:10:19,467 --> 00:10:20,800
Tea?
260
00:10:20,900 --> 00:10:23,067
Cup of?
261
00:10:25,167 --> 00:10:28,300
Oh yes, please, no thank you--
262
00:10:28,400 --> 00:10:29,800
four sugar.
263
00:10:29,900 --> 00:10:31,167
Don't run away.
264
00:10:34,233 --> 00:10:36,233
Oh, Jamila, are you all right?
265
00:10:40,667 --> 00:10:41,500
What did she say, Ali?
266
00:10:44,967 --> 00:10:46,033
In English!
267
00:10:46,133 --> 00:10:47,600
Oh, excuse me,
please-- she's saying
268
00:10:47,700 --> 00:10:51,300
that she's very glad that we
are coming to help her escape.
269
00:10:51,400 --> 00:10:53,067
Look, ask her what she stole.
270
00:11:02,433 --> 00:11:03,067
Well?
271
00:11:03,167 --> 00:11:04,267
Nothing.
272
00:11:04,367 --> 00:11:06,133
She must have
said more than that.
273
00:11:06,233 --> 00:11:07,667
Yes, please, she
is saying that she
274
00:11:07,767 --> 00:11:10,467
took a book from the newspaper
shop, but the book was free.
275
00:11:10,567 --> 00:11:13,033
Well, there's obviously
been some misunderstanding.
276
00:11:13,133 --> 00:11:15,033
I'll-- I'll sort it
out with the police.
277
00:11:15,133 --> 00:11:16,433
Will they be
sending her to prison?
278
00:11:16,533 --> 00:11:18,167
No, no, no, no, I don't
think it's drastic as that.
279
00:11:18,267 --> 00:11:19,567
Uh, I'll have a word
with the sergeant
280
00:11:19,667 --> 00:11:20,867
Ah, 5 pounds ought to do it.
281
00:11:20,967 --> 00:11:22,533
Ah, I am understanding.
282
00:11:22,633 --> 00:11:23,567
That is a fine.
283
00:11:23,667 --> 00:11:24,967
No, no, no, it's
not exactly a fine.
284
00:11:25,067 --> 00:11:26,300
Let's just say
it's a little gift.
285
00:11:26,400 --> 00:11:27,233
Gift?
286
00:11:27,333 --> 00:11:28,800
Yes, it's an old
English custom.
287
00:11:28,900 --> 00:11:30,400
I scratch your back,
you scratch mine.
288
00:11:30,500 --> 00:11:32,967
Ah, you scratch my
back, I scratch yours.
289
00:11:33,067 --> 00:11:34,167
That's right.
290
00:11:34,267 --> 00:11:35,133
Very well, where
are you being itchy?
291
00:11:35,233 --> 00:11:37,100
No, no, no, that's not--
292
00:11:44,167 --> 00:11:45,000
Good evening.
293
00:11:45,100 --> 00:11:45,900
Good evening.
294
00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:47,167
Are you Mr. Brown?
295
00:11:47,267 --> 00:11:48,533
No, he's Mr. Brown.
296
00:11:48,633 --> 00:11:49,700
I was speaking to him.
297
00:11:49,800 --> 00:11:51,733
In that case, you were
right the first time.
298
00:11:51,833 --> 00:11:52,667
Who are you?
299
00:11:52,767 --> 00:11:53,867
Ali Nadim.
300
00:11:53,967 --> 00:11:55,600
No, I am Ali Nadim.
301
00:11:55,700 --> 00:11:57,100
You are Mr. Brown.
302
00:11:57,200 --> 00:11:58,933
Yes, Ali, I'll do
the talking, all right?
303
00:11:59,033 --> 00:12:00,267
You just leave it to me.
304
00:12:00,367 --> 00:12:02,667
Now, I'm sure we can
sort this out, inspector.
305
00:12:02,767 --> 00:12:05,233
The commissioner looks
after promotions here, sir.
306
00:12:05,333 --> 00:12:07,333
Yes, well, you look
like an inspector.
307
00:12:07,433 --> 00:12:08,800
I'm sure it's only
a matter of time.
308
00:12:08,900 --> 00:12:10,367
May I compliment
you on your station
309
00:12:10,467 --> 00:12:11,900
and what a wonderful
job you're doing?
310
00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:13,167
Thank you, sir.
311
00:12:13,267 --> 00:12:14,367
Now, about this young lady--
312
00:12:14,467 --> 00:12:16,767
Ah, yes, I expect
you'd like to have
313
00:12:16,867 --> 00:12:17,900
a look at my driving license.
314
00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:18,867
What for?
315
00:12:18,967 --> 00:12:20,667
Oh, to verify my identity.
316
00:12:20,767 --> 00:12:22,067
You said you were Mr. Brown.
317
00:12:22,167 --> 00:12:23,467
Yes, but you want
some proof, don't you?
318
00:12:23,567 --> 00:12:25,067
Look, if you tell
me you're Mr. Brown,
319
00:12:25,167 --> 00:12:26,767
I accept that as the truth.
320
00:12:26,867 --> 00:12:28,133
Yes, but I could
have been lying.
321
00:12:28,233 --> 00:12:29,300
Were you lying?
322
00:12:29,400 --> 00:12:31,133
Ah, no, he's
definitely Mr. Brown.
323
00:12:31,233 --> 00:12:32,200
He's telling the truth.
324
00:12:32,300 --> 00:12:33,267
Ali!
325
00:12:33,367 --> 00:12:34,867
I insist you look at
my driving license.
326
00:12:34,967 --> 00:12:37,133
Oh, very well, if
it'll make you happy.
327
00:12:41,033 --> 00:12:41,867
Is this your, sir?
328
00:12:41,967 --> 00:12:43,333
Pardon?
329
00:12:43,433 --> 00:12:46,333
This 5-pound note, it was
inside your driving license.
330
00:12:46,433 --> 00:12:47,533
Are you sure?
331
00:12:47,633 --> 00:12:49,200
It could have dropped out
of your trouser pocket.
332
00:12:49,300 --> 00:12:52,267
Oh, yes, and dropped upwards,
I suppose, onto the desk?
333
00:12:52,367 --> 00:12:54,067
You might have had it
tucked up your sleeve.
334
00:12:54,167 --> 00:12:56,067
Yes, and I could have a
couple of doves up the other,
335
00:12:56,167 --> 00:12:57,167
but I haven't.
336
00:12:57,267 --> 00:12:59,533
It was definitely
in your license!
337
00:12:59,633 --> 00:13:00,733
Yes, sergeant is correct.
338
00:13:00,833 --> 00:13:04,700
I remember you putting it
there not a moment ago.
339
00:13:04,800 --> 00:13:06,067
I'd forgot.
340
00:13:06,167 --> 00:13:08,233
It was just before you
said, you scratch my back,
341
00:13:08,333 --> 00:13:09,600
and I scratch yours.
342
00:13:09,700 --> 00:13:11,767
Thank you, George Washington.
343
00:13:11,867 --> 00:13:13,000
No, I'm Ali.
344
00:13:13,100 --> 00:13:16,033
Yeah, Ali, just--
just be quiet, please.
345
00:13:16,133 --> 00:13:17,767
Now, sergeant, about
this young lady--
346
00:13:17,867 --> 00:13:19,033
Yes, the accused.
347
00:13:19,133 --> 00:13:20,633
Yes, Will remember
British justice.
348
00:13:20,733 --> 00:13:23,167
I mean, a person is presumed
innocent until proven guilty.
349
00:13:23,267 --> 00:13:24,633
And this poor lady is innocent!
350
00:13:24,733 --> 00:13:25,867
I know that.
351
00:13:25,967 --> 00:13:26,733
And just because
she's is an immigrant,
352
00:13:26,833 --> 00:13:27,500
you can't go picking--
353
00:13:27,600 --> 00:13:28,433
pardon?
354
00:13:28,533 --> 00:13:30,467
Oh, she pinched
a book, all right.
355
00:13:30,567 --> 00:13:32,533
But she thought it
was..
356
00:13:32,633 --> 00:13:34,633
See what it says
on the front cover?
357
00:13:34,733 --> 00:13:37,000
Free
inside, color supplement?
358
00:13:37,100 --> 00:13:38,333
That's right.
359
00:13:38,433 --> 00:13:39,600
Ah, and she thought
the whole thing was free.
360
00:13:39,700 --> 00:13:40,733
Yes.
361
00:13:40,833 --> 00:13:42,333
Ah, well, then
it's not her fault.
362
00:13:42,433 --> 00:13:44,300
If anyone's to blame,
it's the person who's
363
00:13:44,400 --> 00:13:48,267
been teaching her English.
It's It's not always easy.
364
00:13:48,367 --> 00:13:49,833
Well, if that's all,
we'll be getting along.
365
00:13:49,933 --> 00:13:51,133
Come along, Jamila.
366
00:13:51,233 --> 00:13:52,600
Ah, oh,
367
00:13:52,700 --> 00:13:56,900
Before you go, sir, would
you like to make a donation
368
00:13:57,000 --> 00:13:58,767
to our police charity fund?
369
00:13:58,867 --> 00:13:59,967
Yes, well, you've
caught me at,
370
00:14:00,067 --> 00:14:01,500
ah, rather an awkward moment.
371
00:14:01,600 --> 00:14:03,167
What about the fiver?
372
00:14:03,267 --> 00:14:05,900
You remember, sir-- the one
you thought you never had.
373
00:14:06,000 --> 00:14:06,967
Oh, that fiver.
374
00:14:07,067 --> 00:14:08,200
You know what they say, sir.
375
00:14:08,300 --> 00:14:10,333
What you've never
had, you never miss--
376
00:14:10,433 --> 00:14:12,067
unless, of course,
you knew it was there
377
00:14:12,167 --> 00:14:14,900
all the time, in which
case it would come
378
00:14:15,000 --> 00:14:18,967
under bribery and corruption.
379
00:14:19,067 --> 00:14:21,600
You scratch my back,
and I'll scratch yours.
380
00:14:26,800 --> 00:14:28,300
I see Mr. Brown is not back.
381
00:14:28,400 --> 00:14:29,967
Now, what are you
doing at the moment?
382
00:14:30,067 --> 00:14:31,800
We are studying
our English grammar.
383
00:14:31,900 --> 00:14:34,133
Good, how far have you got?
384
00:14:34,233 --> 00:14:37,000
Let me see your book.
385
00:14:37,100 --> 00:14:40,333
Giovanni, Miss Courtney
would like to see your book.
386
00:14:40,433 --> 00:14:42,533
I want to see your book.
387
00:14:46,667 --> 00:14:47,500
Thank you.
388
00:14:51,133 --> 00:14:54,233
"The Affairs of a Call Girl."
389
00:14:54,333 --> 00:14:56,733
I thought it was about the
adventures of a telephone
390
00:14:56,833 --> 00:14:58,467
operator, honest.
391
00:14:58,567 --> 00:15:01,633
A likely story--
392
00:15:01,733 --> 00:15:05,067
well, until Mr. Brown returns,
I shall take the class.
393
00:15:05,167 --> 00:15:10,700
,,
where are you taking us?
394
00:15:10,800 --> 00:15:12,800
I am not taking you anywhere.
395
00:15:12,900 --> 00:15:15,633
I am going to ask you a few
questions on general knowledge.
396
00:15:15,733 --> 00:15:16,833
Pardon.
397
00:15:16,933 --> 00:15:19,067
Now, first of all,
can anyone tell me
398
00:15:19,167 --> 00:15:21,967
who said, "To be or not to be?"
399
00:15:22,067 --> 00:15:24,400
Please, you just said it.
400
00:15:24,500 --> 00:15:29,633
Yes, but before I
said it, who said it?
401
00:15:29,733 --> 00:15:30,567
Excuse, please.
402
00:15:30,667 --> 00:15:31,467
Yes?
403
00:15:31,567 --> 00:15:34,333
Chairman Mao.
404
00:15:34,433 --> 00:15:35,767
It may come as a
surprise to you to know,
405
00:15:35,867 --> 00:15:38,667
but other people wrote
things besides Chairman Mao.
406
00:15:38,767 --> 00:15:40,333
Chairman Mao light everything.
407
00:15:40,433 --> 00:15:42,000
Well, he certainly
didn't light--
408
00:15:42,100 --> 00:15:44,933
write, "To be or not to be?"
409
00:15:45,033 --> 00:15:46,767
Now, does anybody know?
410
00:15:46,867 --> 00:15:49,000
William Shakespeare.
411
00:15:49,100 --> 00:15:50,367
Correct.
412
00:15:50,467 --> 00:15:55,467
Excuse, please, who is
this William Spear-shake?
413
00:15:55,567 --> 00:15:57,033
Shakespeare.
414
00:15:57,133 --> 00:15:59,100
A thousand apologies.
415
00:15:59,200 --> 00:16:01,900
Are you not familiar
with Shakespeare's works?
416
00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:03,800
Is it a big place?
417
00:16:03,900 --> 00:16:05,667
Is what a big place?
418
00:16:05,767 --> 00:16:09,033
These works of Shakespeare.
419
00:16:09,133 --> 00:16:11,133
I am referring to
the things he wrote.
420
00:16:11,233 --> 00:16:12,967
Ah,.
421
00:16:13,067 --> 00:16:16,967
Now, then, can anyone tell me
what the population of England
422
00:16:17,067 --> 00:16:17,967
is?
423
00:16:18,067 --> 00:16:19,800
Miss Schmidt?
- Yeah, English.
424
00:16:23,500 --> 00:16:26,533
Not any longer--
425
00:16:26,633 --> 00:16:29,500
however, what I really meant
was, how many people are there?
426
00:16:29,600 --> 00:16:30,467
I do not know.
427
00:16:30,567 --> 00:16:32,033
I have not counted them.
428
00:16:32,133 --> 00:16:35,333
Well, let me ask you
a simple question--
429
00:16:35,433 --> 00:16:36,600
Mr. Nagazumi.
430
00:16:36,700 --> 00:16:37,533
Ah, so.
431
00:16:40,167 --> 00:16:44,033
Can you tell me how many
p's there are in a pound?
432
00:16:44,133 --> 00:16:48,400
Depend on size of peas.
433
00:16:48,500 --> 00:16:51,467
I think you had better all
go back to studying your books
434
00:16:51,567 --> 00:16:53,733
until Mr. Brown returns.
435
00:16:53,833 --> 00:16:55,433
He surely can't be much longer.
436
00:17:09,233 --> 00:17:11,333
I wish she'd tell us why
she's brought us back here.
437
00:17:11,433 --> 00:17:13,733
She just said she was
having something to show you.
438
00:17:13,833 --> 00:17:15,667
Oh.
439
00:17:20,500 --> 00:17:21,467
What did she say?
440
00:17:21,567 --> 00:17:23,267
She's saying
thank you for saving
441
00:17:23,367 --> 00:17:25,167
her from the police
and hopes that you
442
00:17:25,267 --> 00:17:26,667
will do the same next time.
443
00:17:26,767 --> 00:17:29,100
Yeah, well, I hope there's
not going to be a next time.
444
00:17:36,300 --> 00:17:38,167
Free offer, 2p off each tin?
445
00:17:38,267 --> 00:17:39,600
Hmm, super-mark.
446
00:17:39,700 --> 00:17:43,433
Supermarket-- well, they've
obviously been having a--
447
00:17:43,533 --> 00:17:44,400
oh no.
448
00:17:44,500 --> 00:17:46,100
Free offer-- you
haven't been taking
449
00:17:46,200 --> 00:17:48,000
things from the supermarket!
450
00:17:54,800 --> 00:17:56,267
Oh deary me!
451
00:17:56,367 --> 00:17:58,500
You can say that again.
452
00:17:58,600 --> 00:18:00,267
Oh deary me.
453
00:18:00,367 --> 00:18:03,100
We must go back and see
that police sergeant
454
00:18:03,200 --> 00:18:05,467
and scratch his back again!
455
00:18:05,567 --> 00:18:06,533
We can't do that!
456
00:18:06,633 --> 00:18:07,933
He'll never believe
this was a mistake.
457
00:18:08,033 --> 00:18:09,167
I mean, pinching a
magazine is one thing,
458
00:18:09,267 --> 00:18:10,367
but knocking off
half a supermarket's
459
00:18:10,467 --> 00:18:12,533
a rather a different matter.
460
00:18:12,633 --> 00:18:13,933
On the other hand,
we can't let Jamila
461
00:18:14,033 --> 00:18:15,267
keep all these stolen goods.
462
00:18:15,367 --> 00:18:17,000
It's-- it's just--
it's dishonest.
463
00:18:17,100 --> 00:18:18,600
She can give them to me.
464
00:18:18,700 --> 00:18:20,967
I don't mind being dishonest.
465
00:18:21,067 --> 00:18:22,500
I'm sure you don't.
466
00:18:22,600 --> 00:18:24,567
No-- no, now listen, Ali, I want
you to go back to the school
467
00:18:24,667 --> 00:18:26,700
and ask all the
students to meet Jamila
468
00:18:26,800 --> 00:18:29,033
and I outside the supermarket.
469
00:18:29,133 --> 00:18:30,767
What are we going to be doing?
470
00:18:30,867 --> 00:18:35,433
We're going to be putting
all these things back.
471
00:18:35,533 --> 00:18:37,833
Hello, Gladys, is
everything locked up?
472
00:18:37,933 --> 00:18:39,400
Yes, Miss Courtney--
473
00:18:39,500 --> 00:18:41,967
by the way, I don't suppose
you could give me a lift.
474
00:18:42,067 --> 00:18:43,133
Oh, I'm sorry, Gladys.
475
00:18:43,233 --> 00:18:44,633
I'm not going
straight home tonight.
476
00:18:44,733 --> 00:18:46,667
There are one or two things
I want from the supermarket.
477
00:18:46,767 --> 00:18:47,567
Ah.
478
00:18:58,467 --> 00:18:59,900
Right, now, you
all know what to do.
479
00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:03,267
Just be very, very careful that
nobody sees you, all right?
480
00:19:43,133 --> 00:19:44,433
What are you doing here?
481
00:19:44,533 --> 00:19:46,833
Ah, uh-- yeah, well, I
suppose you could say it was
482
00:19:46,933 --> 00:19:48,267
an extra-curricular activity.
483
00:19:48,367 --> 00:19:51,067
Sir, excuse me, it's stuck!
484
00:19:51,167 --> 00:19:52,900
What are you doing with
that jar??
485
00:19:53,000 --> 00:19:54,200
Trying to get it out!
486
00:19:54,300 --> 00:19:55,567
Yeah, well, it's a long
story, Miss Courtney.
487
00:19:55,667 --> 00:19:56,500
I'll explain later.
488
00:19:56,600 --> 00:19:57,433
Let me give you a hand.
489
00:19:57,533 --> 00:19:59,167
Oh, uh, pull, pull!
490
00:20:04,967 --> 00:20:06,233
All right, I've
been watching you lot.
491
00:20:06,333 --> 00:20:08,400
Just what do you
think you're doing?
492
00:20:08,500 --> 00:20:11,200
Would you believe we
were putting things back?
493
00:20:11,300 --> 00:20:12,633
No.
494
00:20:12,733 --> 00:20:14,500
I didn't think you would.
495
00:20:14,600 --> 00:20:19,267
Well, well, well, regular
little Fagin, aren't you?
496
00:20:19,367 --> 00:20:21,000
I can explain, sergeant.
497
00:20:21,100 --> 00:20:22,333
You're not going to
show me your driving
498
00:20:22,433 --> 00:20:23,867
license again, are you?
- No.
499
00:20:23,967 --> 00:20:25,333
That's a relief.
500
00:20:25,433 --> 00:20:27,167
You see, we were actually
trying to return the goods.
501
00:20:27,267 --> 00:20:28,133
I mean, ask the students.
502
00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:30,800
Quiet!
503
00:20:30,900 --> 00:20:32,867
Now, look here, sergeant.
504
00:20:32,967 --> 00:20:34,533
It was obviously just
a misunderstanding,
505
00:20:34,633 --> 00:20:37,100
and I see no reason why you
should pursue this any further.
506
00:20:37,200 --> 00:20:38,267
I'm sorry, madam.
507
00:20:38,367 --> 00:20:39,667
Miss, if you don't mind.
508
00:20:39,767 --> 00:20:43,300
Yes, well, I'm afraid
I shall have to make
509
00:20:43,400 --> 00:20:44,733
a report out on this affair.
510
00:20:44,833 --> 00:20:46,533
Oh, look, couldn't you
just forget it ever happened?
511
00:20:46,633 --> 00:20:47,500
No.
512
00:20:47,600 --> 00:20:49,100
Well, I'm sure
your police charity
513
00:20:49,200 --> 00:20:51,733
fund wouldn't say no to
another contribution, sergeant.
514
00:20:51,833 --> 00:20:54,400
Well we're always
grateful for anything, sir.
515
00:20:54,500 --> 00:20:57,200
Ah, shall we say
another 5 pounds?
516
00:20:57,300 --> 00:20:58,433
That's very generous of you.
517
00:20:58,533 --> 00:21:02,800
Ah, right-- right,
come along, everybody.
518
00:21:02,900 --> 00:21:04,667
Just a moment, Mr. Brown.
519
00:21:04,767 --> 00:21:06,000
Where are you going?
520
00:21:06,100 --> 00:21:07,600
I have not made
out my report yet.
521
00:21:07,700 --> 00:21:09,067
Yeah, but I've--
522
00:21:09,167 --> 00:21:10,933
I've just given you 5 pounds
to-- forget it.
523
00:21:11,033 --> 00:21:14,033
Oh no, sir, you
very kindly donated
524
00:21:14,133 --> 00:21:16,300
5 pounds to our charity fund.
525
00:21:16,400 --> 00:21:19,500
It wasn't meant as a
bribe, was it, sir?
526
00:21:19,600 --> 00:21:20,500
No.
527
00:21:20,600 --> 00:21:24,633
Good, now, let's
take a few names.
528
00:21:24,733 --> 00:21:27,900
You, madam-- sorry, Miss--
529
00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:30,467
Courtney.
530
00:21:30,567 --> 00:21:31,900
Thank you.
531
00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:33,433
You, sir--
532
00:21:33,533 --> 00:21:34,200
What's your name?
533
00:21:36,167 --> 00:21:39,667
How do you spell that?
534
00:21:39,767 --> 00:21:40,800
That's not his name.
535
00:21:40,900 --> 00:21:42,967
Oh, giving me
a false name, eh?
536
00:21:44,567 --> 00:21:46,100
I'll come back to
you, Mr. Por Favor,
537
00:21:46,200 --> 00:21:49,633
or whatever your name is.
538
00:21:49,733 --> 00:21:50,767
You!
539
00:21:50,867 --> 00:21:52,233
Yes, please.
540
00:21:52,333 --> 00:21:54,300
What is your name?
541
00:21:54,400 --> 00:21:57,567
Oh no, What is not my name.
542
00:21:57,667 --> 00:22:00,533
I don't want to know
what your name is not.
543
00:22:00,633 --> 00:22:02,367
What is your name?
544
00:22:02,467 --> 00:22:04,733
And I'm telling you it is not.
545
00:22:04,833 --> 00:22:07,467
You, what is his name?
546
00:22:07,567 --> 00:22:08,500
Nein.
547
00:22:08,600 --> 00:22:11,667
Ah-ha, now we're
getting somewhere--
548
00:22:11,767 --> 00:22:13,133
Mr. Nine.
549
00:22:13,233 --> 00:22:14,467
That is not his name.
550
00:22:14,567 --> 00:22:15,800
You just said it was.
551
00:22:15,900 --> 00:22:18,267
You asked me if his name
is What, and I tell you nein.
552
00:22:18,367 --> 00:22:20,667
What is not his name,
but also not Nein.
553
00:22:20,767 --> 00:22:22,533
I've gone around the bend!
554
00:22:22,633 --> 00:22:24,467
What is his name?
555
00:22:24,567 --> 00:22:25,733
Absolutely not.
556
00:22:25,833 --> 00:22:26,700
Not what?
557
00:22:26,800 --> 00:22:28,067
That is correct.
558
00:22:28,167 --> 00:22:29,600
What is your name?
559
00:22:29,700 --> 00:22:30,600
Wrong again!
560
00:22:30,700 --> 00:22:31,633
He's not here.
561
00:22:31,733 --> 00:22:34,567
Who's not here?
562
00:22:34,667 --> 00:22:35,467
What?
563
00:22:36,833 --> 00:22:40,733
No, Who is not here, and
What is not here neither.
564
00:22:40,833 --> 00:22:42,633
You're all barmy.
565
00:22:42,733 --> 00:22:49,800
Mr. Brown, if I promise not
to proceed with this report,
566
00:22:49,900 --> 00:22:50,833
will you do me a favor?
567
00:22:50,933 --> 00:22:52,333
Yes, what is it?
568
00:22:52,433 --> 00:22:54,900
Get these crackpots
out of here,
569
00:22:55,000 --> 00:22:57,633
and promise never to
bring them back, even
570
00:22:57,733 --> 00:22:58,767
if they've committed murder!
571
00:23:07,967 --> 00:23:11,933
Good evening, Miss Courtney,
or should I say??
572
00:23:12,033 --> 00:23:15,333
Please don't remind me of last
night's unfortunate incident.
573
00:23:15,433 --> 00:23:16,433
Sorry.
574
00:23:16,533 --> 00:23:18,033
I hope you've explained
to your Indian lady
575
00:23:18,133 --> 00:23:20,500
the difference between
free and free offer.
576
00:23:20,600 --> 00:23:21,933
Oh, yes, she
understands it now.
577
00:23:22,033 --> 00:23:22,867
Don't worry.
578
00:23:22,967 --> 00:23:24,033
It won't happen again.
579
00:23:24,133 --> 00:23:25,033
Ah, excuse me.
580
00:23:25,133 --> 00:23:28,300
I'm looking for a Jamila Ranjha.
581
00:23:28,400 --> 00:23:29,733
Are Are you thinking
what I'm thinking?
582
00:23:29,833 --> 00:23:31,167
I hope not.
583
00:23:31,267 --> 00:23:32,567
Why do you want Jamila?
584
00:23:32,667 --> 00:23:34,333
Well, she ordered a
minibike from us a month ago,
585
00:23:34,433 --> 00:23:35,333
and she hasn't paid for it.
586
00:23:35,433 --> 00:23:36,967
We sent her three invoices.
587
00:23:37,067 --> 00:23:38,267
She actually ordered the bike?
588
00:23:38,367 --> 00:23:40,033
Oh, yeah, she
sent in the coupon.
589
00:23:40,133 --> 00:23:41,467
Look, here it is.
590
00:23:41,567 --> 00:23:44,033
Oh no, she's done it
again-- seven-day free trial.
40454
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof