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1
00:00:35,900 --> 00:00:37,500
Kalisperas, everybodies.
2
00:00:37,600 --> 00:00:38,267
Buenos noches.
3
00:00:38,367 --> 00:00:41,200
Oh, Max, can you help me?
4
00:00:41,300 --> 00:00:43,900
Sure, anything you want.
5
00:00:44,000 --> 00:00:45,633
I'm in very big trouble.
6
00:00:45,733 --> 00:00:47,733
I kill him.
7
00:00:47,833 --> 00:00:48,867
Who you kill?
8
00:00:48,967 --> 00:00:51,133
The man who put
you in big trouble.
9
00:00:51,233 --> 00:00:52,567
There is no man.
10
00:00:55,033 --> 00:00:56,533
No, it's my homework.
11
00:00:56,633 --> 00:00:58,033
I no finish it.
12
00:00:58,133 --> 00:01:00,400
I haven't even started it.
13
00:01:00,500 --> 00:01:03,233
Well, Mr. Brown is
going to be very angry.
14
00:01:03,333 --> 00:01:06,467
Don't worry, Giovanni,
he's going to fix everything.
15
00:01:06,567 --> 00:01:07,233
Yeah?
16
00:01:07,333 --> 00:01:08,467
- Buona sera.
- Hola.
17
00:01:08,567 --> 00:01:11,100
- Hola.
- OK, who wants the homework?
18
00:01:11,200 --> 00:01:12,233
Only 10p each.
19
00:01:15,267 --> 00:01:17,133
One for me, si, grazie.
20
00:01:17,233 --> 00:01:20,400
Hey, hey, hey, 10p, no peseta.
21
00:01:21,900 --> 00:01:22,900
OK, who's next?
22
00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:23,900
- Yes, please.
- Giovanni.
23
00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:24,800
Molto grazie.
24
00:01:24,900 --> 00:01:25,733
Yeah.
25
00:01:26,800 --> 00:01:27,933
How we know answers right?
26
00:01:28,033 --> 00:01:29,200
Sure answers are right.
27
00:01:29,300 --> 00:01:31,667
My landlady's little
boy writes them down.
28
00:01:31,767 --> 00:01:33,667
Ah, very good.
29
00:01:35,900 --> 00:01:36,733
Silence.
30
00:01:36,833 --> 00:01:37,633
Sit down.
31
00:01:37,733 --> 00:01:39,633
Quiet, quiet please.
32
00:01:39,733 --> 00:01:41,567
Now, where is Mr. Brown?
33
00:01:41,667 --> 00:01:43,533
Mr. Brown not arrive.
34
00:01:43,633 --> 00:01:44,567
Oh, this is too bad.
35
00:01:44,667 --> 00:01:45,867
He should be here.
36
00:01:45,967 --> 00:01:47,700
You want I give
Mr. Brown a massage?
37
00:01:51,100 --> 00:01:53,433
I presume you mean message.
38
00:01:53,533 --> 00:01:54,667
Correct.
39
00:01:54,767 --> 00:01:56,233
No thank you.
40
00:01:56,333 --> 00:01:58,400
No, I shall wait
until he arrives.
41
00:01:58,500 --> 00:02:00,233
It will give me an
opportunity to find out
42
00:02:00,333 --> 00:02:03,667
how much you have learned, which
is precious little, I suspect.
43
00:02:03,767 --> 00:02:06,533
But madame, we learn a
lot from Monsieur Brown.
44
00:02:07,767 --> 00:02:11,300
Quiet now, quiet, quiet.
45
00:02:11,400 --> 00:02:12,533
Very well.
46
00:02:12,633 --> 00:02:14,267
Let's see if we can
find out how much
47
00:02:14,367 --> 00:02:16,233
you've learned from Mr. Brown.
48
00:02:16,333 --> 00:02:21,000
Can anyone give me a sentence
containing the word catalyst?
49
00:02:21,100 --> 00:02:22,100
Ay, catalyst?
50
00:02:22,200 --> 00:02:25,700
Now come along,
somebody, catalyst.
51
00:02:25,800 --> 00:02:26,733
Por favor, senora.
52
00:02:26,833 --> 00:02:28,333
Yes?
53
00:02:28,433 --> 00:02:34,200
In my country, Spain, most of
the people are Roman Catalyst.
54
00:02:39,633 --> 00:02:42,400
I don't believe it.
55
00:02:42,500 --> 00:02:43,333
That's not right.
56
00:02:43,433 --> 00:02:44,400
No?
57
00:02:44,500 --> 00:02:46,233
Italy's a much bigger
catalyst country.
58
00:02:46,333 --> 00:02:48,700
Ah, Espagne, Espagne!
59
00:02:55,433 --> 00:02:57,000
Come on, guys.
60
00:02:57,100 --> 00:02:59,133
Class, please.
61
00:02:59,233 --> 00:03:00,900
Good evening, Miss Courtney.
62
00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:02,100
It's almost good night.
63
00:03:02,200 --> 00:03:03,267
Yeah, well, I'm
sorry I'm late.
64
00:03:03,367 --> 00:03:05,067
I was detained at
the paper shop.
65
00:03:05,167 --> 00:03:06,867
Mr. Brown, I know
that times are hard,
66
00:03:06,967 --> 00:03:08,067
but do you have to
deliver newspapers?
67
00:03:08,167 --> 00:03:09,467
Oh, no, no, I bought them.
68
00:03:09,567 --> 00:03:11,500
They're for the students
as part of their education.
69
00:03:11,600 --> 00:03:13,900
Well, they certainly
need some education.
70
00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:15,433
Yes.
71
00:03:15,533 --> 00:03:16,333
Well, good evening.
72
00:03:16,433 --> 00:03:17,333
Buona sera.
73
00:03:17,433 --> 00:03:18,700
Hola.
74
00:03:18,800 --> 00:03:21,333
Oh, "ex-squeeze" me, please.
75
00:03:21,433 --> 00:03:23,300
I'm just this moment arriving.
76
00:03:23,400 --> 00:03:24,900
"Ex-squeeze" me, again, I go.
77
00:03:25,000 --> 00:03:26,533
What?
78
00:03:26,633 --> 00:03:28,700
Ali, what are you doing?
79
00:03:28,800 --> 00:03:29,600
Ah.
80
00:03:29,700 --> 00:03:32,000
I come back.
81
00:03:32,100 --> 00:03:33,833
Are you moving house?
82
00:03:33,933 --> 00:03:35,867
Oh, not at all.
83
00:03:35,967 --> 00:03:37,733
I'm coming here
straight from work.
84
00:03:37,833 --> 00:03:38,767
Oh, you've got a job.
85
00:03:38,867 --> 00:03:39,700
Yes, please.
86
00:03:39,800 --> 00:03:40,900
I'm a traveling salesman.
87
00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:45,267
I go around knicking the doors.
88
00:03:45,367 --> 00:03:46,000
Knocking.
89
00:03:46,100 --> 00:03:46,933
That is correct.
90
00:03:47,033 --> 00:03:48,400
What are you selling?
91
00:03:48,500 --> 00:03:51,533
Oh, blimey, everything for
the master or a mistress.
92
00:03:51,633 --> 00:03:52,700
I show you some example.
93
00:03:52,800 --> 00:03:55,967
Maybe you will be
wanting to buy something.
94
00:03:57,733 --> 00:03:58,633
No thanks.
95
00:03:58,733 --> 00:03:59,633
I don't think that's my size.
96
00:03:59,733 --> 00:04:01,133
So sorry, please.
97
00:04:01,233 --> 00:04:03,733
This case is for the
lady peoples only.
98
00:04:03,833 --> 00:04:06,600
And this case is
for the men people,
99
00:04:06,700 --> 00:04:09,067
and everything very cut price.
100
00:04:09,167 --> 00:04:11,000
Ah, look this, please.
101
00:04:11,100 --> 00:04:13,333
Do not have to be tying it.
102
00:04:13,433 --> 00:04:19,800
And also, if you are dropping
soup, you'll be wiping it off.
103
00:04:19,900 --> 00:04:21,067
It jolly good plastic.
104
00:04:21,167 --> 00:04:23,567
Yes, very ingenious.
105
00:04:23,667 --> 00:04:25,133
Only 1 pound 50.
106
00:04:25,233 --> 00:04:26,067
You're wanting one?
107
00:04:26,167 --> 00:04:27,633
No, thanks.
108
00:04:27,733 --> 00:04:29,700
I'm telling you
what I'm doing.
109
00:04:29,800 --> 00:04:31,633
For you, only one pound.
110
00:04:31,733 --> 00:04:33,033
Yeah, I don't want one, Ali.
111
00:04:33,133 --> 00:04:35,900
Oh, how 'bout a
jolly good shirt?
112
00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:41,367
Ah, it is guaranteed
100% substandard.
113
00:04:41,467 --> 00:04:42,500
No, thank you.
114
00:04:42,600 --> 00:04:45,133
Ali,
you got any socks?
115
00:04:45,233 --> 00:04:48,567
- Plenty socks, 50p only.
- Plenty.
116
00:04:48,667 --> 00:04:50,067
Yeah, Ali.
117
00:04:50,167 --> 00:04:51,433
Excuse, I'm serving.
118
00:04:51,533 --> 00:04:53,600
OK.
119
00:04:53,700 --> 00:04:54,800
I have two.
120
00:04:54,900 --> 00:04:57,000
Right, one, two,
money, money, money.
121
00:04:57,100 --> 00:04:57,933
Thank you.
122
00:04:58,033 --> 00:04:59,367
50.
123
00:04:59,467 --> 00:05:02,900
Ah, now, tell me, anybody
wanting any undertrousers,
124
00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:03,933
all different colors?
125
00:05:04,033 --> 00:05:05,367
How much?
126
00:05:05,467 --> 00:05:06,133
Only 50p.
127
00:05:06,233 --> 00:05:07,267
Ali, please.
128
00:05:07,367 --> 00:05:08,900
Ah, you are wanting one.
129
00:05:09,000 --> 00:05:11,333
I'm finding you
a very good pair.
130
00:05:11,433 --> 00:05:16,633
Oy, hoy, hoy, hoy, hoy, lovely,
lovely red, white, and blue,
131
00:05:16,733 --> 00:05:18,900
just like Union Jack.
132
00:05:19,000 --> 00:05:21,133
Very patriotic,
but no thank you.
133
00:05:21,233 --> 00:05:23,033
Have you any scarf?
134
00:05:23,133 --> 00:05:24,867
Most definitely.
135
00:05:24,967 --> 00:05:28,367
For you, only one pound,
made in Hong Kong.
136
00:05:28,467 --> 00:05:29,533
Hong Kong?
137
00:05:29,633 --> 00:05:31,667
I not buy from capitalist
state where workers
138
00:05:31,767 --> 00:05:33,633
exploited as cheap labor.
139
00:05:33,733 --> 00:05:37,433
Oh, ah, anybody else
wanting something else?
140
00:05:37,533 --> 00:05:38,400
Ali, please!
141
00:05:38,500 --> 00:05:40,433
Ah, you are
exchanging your mind.
142
00:05:40,533 --> 00:05:41,200
No, I'm not.
143
00:05:41,300 --> 00:05:42,167
Put the suitcase away.
144
00:05:42,267 --> 00:05:43,967
This is not Petticoat Lane.
145
00:05:44,067 --> 00:05:46,167
Just sit down, everyone.
146
00:05:46,267 --> 00:05:50,167
Come along, Juan,
Taro, sit down.
147
00:05:50,267 --> 00:05:52,167
All right, before we do
anything else this evening,
148
00:05:52,267 --> 00:05:54,133
I want to find a monitor.
149
00:05:54,233 --> 00:05:58,100
OK, you tell us where
to look, we find one.
150
00:05:58,200 --> 00:06:00,200
Giovanni, a
monitor is a person
151
00:06:00,300 --> 00:06:02,133
who can take charge of the
class during my absence,
152
00:06:02,233 --> 00:06:05,533
somebody intelligent enough
to assume responsibility.
153
00:06:05,633 --> 00:06:08,300
On second thought, perhaps it's
not such a good idea after all.
154
00:06:08,400 --> 00:06:11,633
Please, I think I'm
making good monitor.
155
00:06:11,733 --> 00:06:13,733
I think we'll alternate,
have a different one each week.
156
00:06:13,833 --> 00:06:14,967
It'll be a good
experience for you.
157
00:06:15,067 --> 00:06:17,033
Right, Anna, we'll
start with you.
158
00:06:17,133 --> 00:06:18,667
- Thank yah.
- Thank you.
159
00:06:18,767 --> 00:06:20,167
Thank you.
160
00:06:20,267 --> 00:06:21,667
If you'll just hand these
round and collect the homework.
161
00:06:21,767 --> 00:06:22,633
Yah.
162
00:06:22,733 --> 00:06:24,300
- Yes, Anna.
- Yes.
163
00:06:24,400 --> 00:06:26,467
And from now on, I want to
hear no more foreign languages
164
00:06:26,567 --> 00:06:27,900
spoken in this class.
165
00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:29,100
From the moment
you come in here,
166
00:06:29,200 --> 00:06:30,967
you speak English all the time.
167
00:06:31,067 --> 00:06:31,867
Is that understood?
168
00:06:33,600 --> 00:06:35,100
Por favor?
169
00:06:35,200 --> 00:06:36,000
No por favor.
170
00:06:36,100 --> 00:06:37,967
Por favor finito.
171
00:06:38,067 --> 00:06:39,033
English only.
172
00:06:39,133 --> 00:06:40,000
S'alright.
173
00:06:40,100 --> 00:06:41,100
Yes.
174
00:06:41,200 --> 00:06:42,200
Thank you, Anna.
175
00:06:42,300 --> 00:06:43,467
Now, have you all
got a newspaper?
176
00:06:43,567 --> 00:06:45,067
Si, professore.
177
00:06:45,167 --> 00:06:46,900
Right, now I'm going to
ask you each to read out
178
00:06:47,000 --> 00:06:48,667
a passage from the
newspaper, and then
179
00:06:48,767 --> 00:06:50,167
we'll discuss it together, OK?
180
00:06:50,267 --> 00:06:51,433
Max, you start us off.
181
00:06:56,000 --> 00:06:58,633
American "hembassy" bug-"ed".
182
00:07:02,067 --> 00:07:04,533
No, Max, bugged.
183
00:07:04,633 --> 00:07:08,300
'Ey, my boss, he all the
time says he's bug-"ed".
184
00:07:08,400 --> 00:07:13,000
Yeah, so that may
be so, Giovanni.
185
00:07:13,100 --> 00:07:14,967
But the word we are
dealing with is bugged.
186
00:07:15,067 --> 00:07:17,100
Now, read it again,
Max, correctly.
187
00:07:17,200 --> 00:07:21,267
American "hembassy" bugged.
188
00:07:21,367 --> 00:07:23,733
Good, now does anybody
know what that means?
189
00:07:23,833 --> 00:07:25,033
Ah, Taro.
190
00:07:32,133 --> 00:07:39,333
It means American embassy
full off little insects.
191
00:07:39,433 --> 00:07:42,100
No, Taro, they're
not that sort of bugs,
192
00:07:42,200 --> 00:07:43,500
listening devices.
193
00:07:43,600 --> 00:07:46,700
Jamila, can you read
something from your newspaper?
194
00:07:47,733 --> 00:07:50,833
Yeah, read something.
195
00:07:50,933 --> 00:07:53,800
That way.
196
00:07:53,900 --> 00:07:57,367
Ah, 8 B.
197
00:07:57,467 --> 00:08:01,233
Yes,
well, that's a start.
198
00:08:01,333 --> 00:08:05,967
Um-- late again, Ranjeet?
199
00:08:06,067 --> 00:08:09,400
Oh, Mr. Teacher, I am
apologizing more soundly.
200
00:08:09,500 --> 00:08:10,733
Yes, well perhaps
next week you'll
201
00:08:10,833 --> 00:08:12,233
try and get here on time.
202
00:08:12,333 --> 00:08:16,067
I'm thinking next week
I'm not being here at all.
203
00:08:16,167 --> 00:08:17,567
You're leaving us?
204
00:08:17,667 --> 00:08:21,600
I'm going to be joining
my beloved ancestors.
205
00:08:21,700 --> 00:08:23,000
You mean you're going to die?
206
00:08:23,100 --> 00:08:27,200
Most definitely, I'm
going to die by my own hand.
207
00:08:27,300 --> 00:08:33,500
Please, if you are
wanting any assistance,
208
00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:36,067
I'm happy to be helping.
209
00:08:36,167 --> 00:08:38,333
I thought you
didn't like Sikhs.
210
00:08:38,433 --> 00:08:40,467
That is why I'm
happy to be helping.
211
00:08:40,567 --> 00:08:43,667
All right, Ali, this
is no laughing matter.
212
00:08:43,767 --> 00:08:44,833
I think Ranjeet is serious.
213
00:08:44,933 --> 00:08:46,267
Most certainly I am.
214
00:08:46,367 --> 00:08:48,367
Well, why are you thinking
of killing yourself?
215
00:08:48,467 --> 00:08:50,200
I'm forced to be
getting married.
216
00:08:50,300 --> 00:08:54,367
Oh, ho, you randy old chapati.
217
00:08:54,467 --> 00:08:57,433
You are putting some innocent
lady in the pudding club.
218
00:08:57,533 --> 00:09:00,033
,, you
sorry Muslim pig.
219
00:09:00,133 --> 00:09:01,167
All right, that'll do.
220
00:09:01,267 --> 00:09:02,400
Look, I don't
understand, Ranjeet.
221
00:09:02,500 --> 00:09:04,867
Why are you being
forced to get married?
222
00:09:04,967 --> 00:09:07,000
According to the
Sikh tradition,
223
00:09:07,100 --> 00:09:10,267
I was betrothed when
I was 12 to Surinder,
224
00:09:10,367 --> 00:09:15,067
the 10-year-old daughter of
the best friend of my father.
225
00:09:15,167 --> 00:09:19,500
She was a beautiful
girl, hair like silk,
226
00:09:19,600 --> 00:09:22,667
eyes like black
diamonds, and a figure
227
00:09:22,767 --> 00:09:25,233
like a tender bamboo shoot.
228
00:09:25,333 --> 00:09:27,767
And now her father
is saying it is
229
00:09:27,867 --> 00:09:29,333
time for me to be marrying her.
230
00:09:29,433 --> 00:09:31,367
Well, if she's got eyes like
black diamonds, hair like silk,
231
00:09:31,467 --> 00:09:33,033
and a figure like a
tender bamboo shoot,
232
00:09:33,133 --> 00:09:34,300
what are you complaining about?
233
00:09:34,400 --> 00:09:37,133
Blimey, that was 20 years ago!
234
00:09:37,233 --> 00:09:39,033
Now she's putting
on so much weight
235
00:09:39,133 --> 00:09:42,400
that from behind she's
looking like an elephant.
236
00:09:42,500 --> 00:09:45,800
Matter of fact, she's looking
like an elephant from front
237
00:09:45,900 --> 00:09:47,367
also.
238
00:09:47,467 --> 00:09:49,967
Can't you just tell her
that you've changed your mind?
239
00:09:50,067 --> 00:09:50,933
Not at all.
240
00:09:51,033 --> 00:09:53,467
Only lady can change mind.
241
00:09:53,567 --> 00:09:56,700
I am up the creek
without a poodle.
242
00:09:56,800 --> 00:09:58,867
You mean a paddle.
243
00:09:58,967 --> 00:09:59,900
You not do it.
244
00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:01,967
It's a sin to kill yourself.
245
00:10:02,067 --> 00:10:05,233
It's the only course
which is left open to me.
246
00:10:05,333 --> 00:10:07,700
When you do this
killing yourself?
247
00:10:07,800 --> 00:10:09,867
Tonight.
248
00:10:09,967 --> 00:10:12,500
Can we come and watch?
249
00:10:12,600 --> 00:10:13,567
This is ridiculous.
250
00:10:13,667 --> 00:10:14,900
People don't go around
killing themselves
251
00:10:15,000 --> 00:10:15,867
rather than break
off an engagement.
252
00:10:15,967 --> 00:10:17,067
But it is my religion.
253
00:10:17,167 --> 00:10:19,100
Well, in that case,
why don't you marry?
254
00:10:19,200 --> 00:10:20,867
That would be worse
than killing myself.
255
00:10:20,967 --> 00:10:22,167
Well, come and sit down.
256
00:10:22,267 --> 00:10:23,233
We'll discuss whether
you kill yourself or not
257
00:10:23,333 --> 00:10:24,300
during the tea break.
258
00:10:24,400 --> 00:10:25,500
Would you all look at your new--
259
00:10:25,600 --> 00:10:26,500
Mr. Brown.
260
00:10:26,600 --> 00:10:28,267
There is an Indian
lady in my office
261
00:10:28,367 --> 00:10:31,767
who wishes to speak
to Mr. Ranjeet Singh.
262
00:10:31,867 --> 00:10:33,200
Excuse me, Missy.
263
00:10:33,300 --> 00:10:36,967
This lady, is she
resembling an elephant?
264
00:10:37,067 --> 00:10:40,200
I wouldn't exactly put it like
that, but she is rather large.
265
00:10:40,300 --> 00:10:41,700
Blimey, 'tis Surinder!
266
00:10:41,800 --> 00:10:43,700
Yeah, well, ask here to come
along here, Miss Courtney,
267
00:10:43,800 --> 00:10:44,633
would you?
268
00:10:44,733 --> 00:10:45,600
That's very irregular.
269
00:10:45,700 --> 00:10:46,967
Well, it is rather important.
270
00:10:47,067 --> 00:10:50,033
Well, very well, but
don't make a habit of it.
271
00:10:50,133 --> 00:10:51,433
What are doing that for?
272
00:10:51,533 --> 00:10:53,167
So we can talk to her,
perhaps make her see reason.
273
00:10:53,267 --> 00:10:54,833
There's not any way possible.
274
00:10:54,933 --> 00:10:56,033
I kill myself.
275
00:10:56,133 --> 00:10:57,033
Come on, put your--
276
00:10:57,133 --> 00:10:59,733
Max, Giovanni, hold his arms.
277
00:10:59,833 --> 00:11:01,100
Where is he?
278
00:11:01,200 --> 00:11:02,400
He's not here yet?
279
00:11:02,500 --> 00:11:05,867
Ah, I'll wait
for him in the corridor.
280
00:11:05,967 --> 00:11:12,633
He's promised to me, and I swear
by holy guru, he is having me.
281
00:11:32,200 --> 00:11:34,400
Well, what am I telling you?
282
00:11:34,500 --> 00:11:37,367
Yeah, so I quite see your
point about an elephant.
283
00:11:37,467 --> 00:11:39,033
Still, don't worry, Ranjeet.
284
00:11:39,133 --> 00:11:40,367
I'm sure some elephants
are very nice.
285
00:11:40,467 --> 00:11:42,167
Can I have knife back, please?
286
00:11:42,267 --> 00:11:43,667
Promise you won't
kill yourself?
287
00:11:43,767 --> 00:11:44,900
Promise.
288
00:11:45,000 --> 00:11:47,133
Killing myself is
not going to help me.
289
00:11:47,233 --> 00:11:48,933
That's the attitude.
290
00:11:49,033 --> 00:11:50,933
I have much better idea.
291
00:11:51,033 --> 00:11:51,933
I kill her!
292
00:11:52,033 --> 00:11:54,500
No!
293
00:12:19,933 --> 00:12:22,433
Ah, you're still there.
294
00:12:22,533 --> 00:12:24,100
Yes, I still here.
295
00:12:24,200 --> 00:12:25,667
I really think you
ought to go home.
296
00:12:25,767 --> 00:12:28,133
No, I wait for Ranjeet.
297
00:12:28,233 --> 00:12:31,200
Well, I don't think Ranjeet
will be coming tonight.
298
00:12:31,300 --> 00:12:32,100
I wait.
299
00:12:39,767 --> 00:12:41,633
She's still
being out in corridor?
300
00:12:41,733 --> 00:12:43,133
Yeah, I'm afraid so, Ranjeet.
301
00:12:43,233 --> 00:12:44,933
Look, Miss Courtney is not
going to be very pleased
302
00:12:45,033 --> 00:12:46,100
when she finds out about this.
303
00:12:46,200 --> 00:12:47,133
Oh, deary me.
304
00:12:47,233 --> 00:12:48,567
What am I going to be doing?
305
00:12:48,667 --> 00:12:50,667
Can't you just tell her
you're not going to marry her?
306
00:12:50,767 --> 00:12:54,800
But I am not going to
be marrying Miss Courtney.
307
00:12:54,900 --> 00:12:57,333
I am referring to Surinder.
308
00:12:57,433 --> 00:12:58,700
Oh, no.
309
00:12:58,800 --> 00:13:01,600
If I am telling her that, she
is surely going to kill me.
310
00:13:01,700 --> 00:13:04,500
Ah, you said you were
going to kill yourself,
311
00:13:04,600 --> 00:13:05,433
That is correct.
312
00:13:05,533 --> 00:13:06,367
Yes.
313
00:13:06,467 --> 00:13:09,033
Please, sir,
in my country,
314
00:13:09,133 --> 00:13:12,667
person commit hari kari.
315
00:13:12,767 --> 00:13:19,000
It is custom for best friend
to be present to chop off head.
316
00:13:19,100 --> 00:13:20,767
Chop off head?
317
00:13:20,867 --> 00:13:22,100
Hai, thshh!
318
00:13:25,900 --> 00:13:28,067
I will be happy to assist.
319
00:13:28,167 --> 00:13:29,567
You will do nothing--
320
00:13:29,667 --> 00:13:31,000
nothing of the sort, Taro.
321
00:13:31,100 --> 00:13:32,967
Now please, everybody,
just sit down.
322
00:13:33,067 --> 00:13:34,200
You're here to learn English.
323
00:13:34,300 --> 00:13:35,567
We've had enough
disruption for one night.
324
00:13:35,667 --> 00:13:37,233
You should leave your
personal problems at home.
325
00:13:37,333 --> 00:13:39,333
Now look at your newspapers.
326
00:13:39,433 --> 00:13:40,800
Juan, read out a headline.
327
00:13:40,900 --> 00:13:42,600
Por favor?
328
00:13:42,700 --> 00:13:43,533
The newspaper.
329
00:13:43,633 --> 00:13:46,033
Ah, si, the newspaper.
330
00:13:46,133 --> 00:13:48,733
Yeah, read something out.
331
00:13:48,833 --> 00:13:51,067
Ah.
332
00:13:51,167 --> 00:13:58,200
Increase
in London rats.
333
00:14:01,600 --> 00:14:02,933
London rats?
334
00:14:03,033 --> 00:14:08,000
Si, increase in London rats.
335
00:14:08,100 --> 00:14:09,067
Rates.
336
00:14:13,233 --> 00:14:18,467
Pardon.
337
00:14:18,567 --> 00:14:21,333
Yeah, Anna, your turn.
338
00:14:21,433 --> 00:14:24,233
Vestern vorld
velcomes vind of change.
339
00:14:27,300 --> 00:14:30,800
Vonderful, uh, very good.
340
00:14:30,900 --> 00:14:31,700
Danielle.
341
00:14:36,433 --> 00:14:40,533
Prime Minister sold a pup.
342
00:14:40,633 --> 00:14:44,033
Good, now that is a very good
example of a figure of speech.
343
00:14:44,133 --> 00:14:46,200
Prime Minister sold a pup.
344
00:14:46,300 --> 00:14:49,100
Can you tell me what
that means, Giovanni?
345
00:14:49,200 --> 00:14:52,400
He's buying a dog.
346
00:14:52,500 --> 00:14:54,300
No, it's a figure of speech.
347
00:14:54,400 --> 00:14:55,367
Let me give you another example.
348
00:14:55,467 --> 00:14:57,767
Prime Minister sold a dummy.
349
00:14:57,867 --> 00:14:58,867
You know what that means?
- Sure.
350
00:14:58,967 --> 00:15:00,233
Do you understand me?
351
00:15:00,333 --> 00:15:01,300
Yeah.
352
00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:03,200
It's just one thing
I don't understand.
353
00:15:03,300 --> 00:15:09,133
Does he buy the dummy before
or after he buy the pup?
354
00:15:09,233 --> 00:15:11,200
He doesn't buy anything.
355
00:15:11,300 --> 00:15:15,733
Ah, newspaper
man's a big liar.
356
00:15:15,833 --> 00:15:17,867
A figure of
speech, I told you,
357
00:15:17,967 --> 00:15:18,833
it's just a figure of speech.
358
00:15:18,933 --> 00:15:20,433
It doesn't mean what it says.
359
00:15:20,533 --> 00:15:22,167
Typical of
imperial politicians
360
00:15:22,267 --> 00:15:25,700
who distort truth and
suppress working classes.
361
00:15:25,800 --> 00:15:27,200
Thank you.
362
00:15:27,300 --> 00:15:29,000
A figure of speech is a way
of expressing an idea by way
363
00:15:29,100 --> 00:15:30,300
of contrast or comparison.
364
00:15:30,400 --> 00:15:32,933
If you're being sold a
pup, or sold a dummy,
365
00:15:33,033 --> 00:15:34,767
you're being
cheated or deceived.
366
00:15:34,867 --> 00:15:36,900
In England, we use figures
of speech quite a lot.
367
00:15:37,000 --> 00:15:38,867
For example, we say
as quick as lightning,
368
00:15:38,967 --> 00:15:42,400
as light as a feather, as clean
as a whistle, as blind as a--
369
00:15:42,500 --> 00:15:43,167
Su-Lee?
370
00:15:43,267 --> 00:15:44,733
As blind as a bat.
371
00:15:44,833 --> 00:15:46,900
Good, because bats cannot see.
372
00:15:47,000 --> 00:15:49,433
Max, as deaf as a--
373
00:15:49,533 --> 00:15:50,333
Postman.
374
00:15:56,267 --> 00:15:59,833
No, Max, post, because
posts cannot hear.
375
00:15:59,933 --> 00:16:03,033
Neither can my postman.
376
00:16:03,133 --> 00:16:06,367
Ali, as sly as a--
377
00:16:06,467 --> 00:16:09,500
- Sikh!
- Fox.
378
00:16:09,600 --> 00:16:12,267
Ranjeet, as mad as a--
379
00:16:12,367 --> 00:16:14,433
Muslim.
380
00:16:14,533 --> 00:16:15,200
Hatter.
381
00:16:15,300 --> 00:16:18,200
Taro, as drunk as a--
382
00:16:18,300 --> 00:16:19,433
Noodle.
383
00:16:19,533 --> 00:16:22,033
Yeah, well lord
is more correct.
384
00:16:22,133 --> 00:16:24,233
Jamila, as white as--
385
00:16:24,333 --> 00:16:26,667
You.
386
00:16:26,767 --> 00:16:28,200
Snow.
387
00:16:28,300 --> 00:16:33,033
Ali, as smooth as--
388
00:16:33,133 --> 00:16:35,333
Baby's bottoms.
389
00:16:35,433 --> 00:16:37,667
All right, we'll
break for tea now,
390
00:16:37,767 --> 00:16:41,300
and continue with the newspapers
when we come back, all right?
391
00:16:41,400 --> 00:16:44,633
Please, how am I going to
be getting out without being
392
00:16:44,733 --> 00:16:47,300
observed by the fat one?
393
00:16:47,400 --> 00:16:48,567
Well that's your problem.
394
00:16:48,667 --> 00:16:50,000
My problem is how to
get her off the premises
395
00:16:50,100 --> 00:16:51,733
before Miss Courtney finds her.
396
00:16:51,833 --> 00:16:52,700
Oh.
397
00:16:56,500 --> 00:16:58,867
Look, I really think
you ought to go home.
398
00:16:58,967 --> 00:17:02,033
No I stay.
399
00:17:02,133 --> 00:17:03,967
What is going on?
400
00:17:04,067 --> 00:17:05,467
What is going on?
401
00:17:05,567 --> 00:17:07,067
What is going on?
402
00:17:07,167 --> 00:17:08,933
Yes, well, I'm
talking to this lady.
403
00:17:09,033 --> 00:17:10,167
Why is she here?
404
00:17:10,267 --> 00:17:12,533
Well, she's talking to me.
405
00:17:12,633 --> 00:17:14,400
Why is she sitting
in the corridor?
406
00:17:14,500 --> 00:17:15,767
Why is she sitting
in the corridor?
407
00:17:15,867 --> 00:17:17,433
Must you repeat
everything I say?
408
00:17:34,400 --> 00:17:38,300
I could have sworn that woman
wasn't pregnant yesterday.
409
00:17:42,667 --> 00:17:43,567
You're safe now.
410
00:17:46,900 --> 00:17:49,167
Thank you, Jamila, thank you.
411
00:17:50,733 --> 00:17:51,533
What you do now?
412
00:17:54,067 --> 00:17:55,933
Maybe I jump
out of the window.
413
00:17:56,033 --> 00:17:56,967
You'll be lucky.
414
00:17:57,067 --> 00:17:58,267
We're on the third floor.
415
00:17:58,367 --> 00:18:00,167
Oh!
416
00:18:00,267 --> 00:18:02,667
Mr. Brown, I have a feeling
that something very peculiar
417
00:18:02,767 --> 00:18:04,200
is going on.
418
00:18:04,300 --> 00:18:06,600
No, no, everything's perfectly
all right, I can assure you.
419
00:18:06,700 --> 00:18:07,533
Are you going?
420
00:18:07,633 --> 00:18:08,433
Yes.
421
00:18:08,533 --> 00:18:09,200
Ah.
422
00:18:09,300 --> 00:18:10,433
To get a cup of tea.
423
00:18:17,367 --> 00:18:19,267
I only want a cup of tea.
424
00:18:19,367 --> 00:18:21,233
Oh, blimey, that's Surinder.
425
00:18:21,333 --> 00:18:25,433
Ah, that was
sounding like my Ranjeet.
426
00:18:25,533 --> 00:18:26,367
Where is he now?
427
00:18:26,467 --> 00:18:27,833
I told you, he's not here.
428
00:18:27,933 --> 00:18:28,867
Excuse me, dearie.
429
00:18:28,967 --> 00:18:30,033
Eh?
430
00:18:30,133 --> 00:18:31,567
Are you looking
for the darkie fellow
431
00:18:31,667 --> 00:18:34,533
with the beard and the
bandage around his head?
432
00:18:34,633 --> 00:18:35,867
Yes, where is he?
433
00:18:35,967 --> 00:18:37,400
He's just gone
around those curtains.
434
00:18:47,200 --> 00:18:48,933
Come out, Ranjeet.
435
00:18:49,033 --> 00:18:51,267
I am knowing you are there.
436
00:18:51,367 --> 00:18:52,267
Come out!
437
00:19:08,367 --> 00:19:09,200
Ah!
438
00:19:16,100 --> 00:19:18,267
What is the meaning of this?
439
00:19:18,367 --> 00:19:20,100
I am noticing
windows very dirty.
440
00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:21,767
So I'm cleaning them for you.
441
00:19:21,867 --> 00:19:23,700
I like very much
cleaning windows.
442
00:19:23,800 --> 00:19:26,167
In the pitch dark?
443
00:19:26,267 --> 00:19:28,000
Now come in off that
window ledge at once.
444
00:19:28,100 --> 00:19:29,733
Oh, certainly.
445
00:19:33,133 --> 00:19:34,767
A thousand apologies.
446
00:19:43,267 --> 00:19:43,933
Ah!
447
00:19:44,033 --> 00:19:46,933
No, no, no, no, no.
448
00:19:47,033 --> 00:19:48,300
I kill myself.
449
00:19:48,400 --> 00:19:50,700
Yeah, well hurry up, 'cause
tea break's nearly over.
450
00:19:50,800 --> 00:19:51,600
I'm doing it.
451
00:19:51,700 --> 00:19:52,700
Yeah, well do it then.
452
00:19:52,800 --> 00:19:54,300
I'm going to
join my ancestors.
453
00:19:54,400 --> 00:19:55,933
Don't keep them
waiting too long.
454
00:19:56,033 --> 00:19:57,000
Bye bye, everybody.
455
00:19:57,100 --> 00:19:57,900
Bye!
456
00:19:58,000 --> 00:19:58,833
Ciao!
457
00:19:58,933 --> 00:19:59,967
I'm doing it now.
458
00:20:00,067 --> 00:20:00,900
Yes, so you keep saying.
459
00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:02,167
This is it then.
460
00:20:08,600 --> 00:20:11,600
Ow!
461
00:20:11,700 --> 00:20:14,100
Maybe I'm having a cup
of coffee before I do it.
462
00:20:14,200 --> 00:20:15,200
- Yeah.
- Yes.
463
00:20:15,300 --> 00:20:16,400
Ah.
464
00:20:16,500 --> 00:20:17,700
Ranjeet, we all know
you haven't the slightest
465
00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:19,200
intention of killing yourself.
466
00:20:19,300 --> 00:20:21,167
So put your knife away, and
let's discuss this properly.
467
00:20:21,267 --> 00:20:23,133
Now, Surinder, as
I understand it,
468
00:20:23,233 --> 00:20:25,467
you and Ranjeet here
were both betrothed
469
00:20:25,567 --> 00:20:26,400
when you were children.
470
00:20:26,500 --> 00:20:27,900
Most definitely.
471
00:20:28,000 --> 00:20:29,700
Now he's not
wanting to marry me.
472
00:20:29,800 --> 00:20:30,800
Yeah, well you
can't get married
473
00:20:30,900 --> 00:20:31,900
unless you love each other.
474
00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:34,333
It is his duty
to be marrying me,
475
00:20:34,433 --> 00:20:36,400
otherwise I'm losing my face.
476
00:20:36,500 --> 00:20:40,033
I think she's lost it already.
477
00:20:40,133 --> 00:20:41,267
You wouldn't be
happy together.
478
00:20:41,367 --> 00:20:42,633
I mean, can't you
just agree to release
479
00:20:42,733 --> 00:20:44,067
Ranjeet from his promise?
480
00:20:44,167 --> 00:20:45,400
And what is to become of me?
481
00:20:45,500 --> 00:20:46,967
Well, I'm sure you'll
meet somebody else.
482
00:20:47,067 --> 00:20:51,400
Ah, if I think I'll
meet another man,
483
00:20:51,500 --> 00:20:54,533
oh, I'll most gladly
release Ranjeet.
484
00:20:54,633 --> 00:20:55,633
You would?
485
00:20:55,733 --> 00:20:59,200
Most certainly, but
who is having me now?
486
00:20:59,300 --> 00:21:00,233
Hm.
487
00:21:00,333 --> 00:21:02,233
You know, Surinder,
there is something
488
00:21:02,333 --> 00:21:04,500
Mr. Brown is not telling you.
489
00:21:04,600 --> 00:21:05,800
There is?
490
00:21:05,900 --> 00:21:07,367
Oh, yes, indeed.
491
00:21:07,467 --> 00:21:09,667
He has special
reason for wanting
492
00:21:09,767 --> 00:21:12,267
you not to be marrying me.
493
00:21:12,367 --> 00:21:13,767
I have?
494
00:21:13,867 --> 00:21:15,500
He is wanting to
marry you himself.
495
00:21:18,133 --> 00:21:19,967
He's wanting to
be marrying me?
496
00:21:20,067 --> 00:21:22,467
I'm wanting to marry her?
497
00:21:22,567 --> 00:21:24,433
Oh, I accept!
498
00:21:29,300 --> 00:21:35,900
Hola, Mr. Brown.
499
00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:36,933
Good evening, Gladys.
500
00:21:37,033 --> 00:21:39,400
Hey, when's the
happy day, then?
501
00:21:39,500 --> 00:21:40,900
There's not going
to be any happy day.
502
00:21:41,000 --> 00:21:43,100
It was all a complete
misunderstanding.
503
00:21:43,200 --> 00:21:44,533
Oh what a pity.
504
00:21:44,633 --> 00:21:49,300
And I thought you and
Surinder made a lovely couple.
505
00:21:49,400 --> 00:21:51,567
With all due respect, she
was a couple on her own.
506
00:21:55,200 --> 00:21:59,367
Guys, that'll
do, good evening.
507
00:21:59,467 --> 00:22:02,567
All right, before we
start, I've checked
508
00:22:02,667 --> 00:22:05,300
your homework last night.
509
00:22:05,400 --> 00:22:06,967
And I have a feeling that
there's been some sort
510
00:22:07,067 --> 00:22:09,200
of chicanery going on.
511
00:22:09,300 --> 00:22:10,900
We not know what you mean.
512
00:22:11,000 --> 00:22:11,800
No, Giovanni?
513
00:22:11,900 --> 00:22:13,100
Well, I'll tell you.
514
00:22:13,200 --> 00:22:14,833
First, see, there's the
fact that five of them
515
00:22:14,933 --> 00:22:17,333
were all in the
same handwriting.
516
00:22:17,433 --> 00:22:21,100
It's a sheer coincidence.
517
00:22:21,200 --> 00:22:23,600
And is it also a
coincidence that you all
518
00:22:23,700 --> 00:22:25,400
answered question 7 as follows?
519
00:22:25,500 --> 00:22:28,333
Question, explain what is wrong
with the following sentence.
520
00:22:28,433 --> 00:22:31,400
My dogs is in the garden.
521
00:22:31,500 --> 00:22:35,100
Answer, I do not have a garden.
522
00:22:35,200 --> 00:22:36,567
You owe me 10p!
523
00:22:37,867 --> 00:22:41,667
Well, you will all receive
extra homework tonight.
524
00:22:43,167 --> 00:22:47,033
Please, this time make sure
that you do it yourself.
525
00:22:47,133 --> 00:22:51,367
I am apologizing again,
but I am delayed by Surinder.
526
00:22:51,467 --> 00:22:52,833
I thought she'd
agreed to release
527
00:22:52,933 --> 00:22:53,900
you from your marriage vows.
528
00:22:54,000 --> 00:22:55,467
Oh, yes, she has.
529
00:22:55,567 --> 00:22:59,100
But her father is coming to see
you about your marriage vows!
530
00:22:59,200 --> 00:23:00,933
Look, there's not
going to be any wedding.
531
00:23:01,033 --> 00:23:02,300
I have broken it off.
532
00:23:02,400 --> 00:23:06,267
O, deary me, how painful.
533
00:23:06,367 --> 00:23:08,367
I have written to
Surinder's parents
534
00:23:08,467 --> 00:23:10,567
explaining that I cannot
possibly marry their daughter.
535
00:23:10,667 --> 00:23:12,133
I've also pointed
out the differences
536
00:23:12,233 --> 00:23:13,900
between our religious
and cultural backgrounds
537
00:23:14,000 --> 00:23:16,700
and the fact that I have no
intention of marrying anyone.
538
00:23:19,533 --> 00:23:21,400
He should have got the
letter this morning.
539
00:23:21,500 --> 00:23:22,700
Oh, yes, he did.
540
00:23:22,800 --> 00:23:24,100
That is why he's coming.
541
00:23:24,200 --> 00:23:27,400
He's hoping to be slicing
you into many pieces.
542
00:23:27,500 --> 00:23:28,733
Pardon?
543
00:23:28,833 --> 00:23:31,867
He's saying you are bringing
disgrace on his daughter.
544
00:23:31,967 --> 00:23:32,800
Don't be ridiculous.
545
00:23:32,900 --> 00:23:33,900
This isn't the Punjab.
546
00:23:34,000 --> 00:23:35,333
It's England, a
civilized country.
547
00:23:35,433 --> 00:23:37,200
People just don't go around
slicing each other up,
548
00:23:37,300 --> 00:23:40,133
and I shall tell him so.
549
00:23:40,233 --> 00:23:41,967
Where is this
illegitimate offspring
550
00:23:42,067 --> 00:23:43,500
of a six-legged gamin?
551
00:23:43,600 --> 00:23:44,967
Ah, blimey,
I am not knowing where he is.
552
00:23:45,067 --> 00:23:46,133
You see, he's not here.
553
00:23:46,233 --> 00:23:47,700
He has emigrated.
- Oh!
37657
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