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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:42,767 --> 00:00:44,033 Excuse me, young man. 2 00:00:44,133 --> 00:00:45,033 Si, Senora? 3 00:00:45,133 --> 00:00:46,567 Are you in Mr. Brown's class? 4 00:00:46,667 --> 00:00:47,933 Por favor? 5 00:00:48,033 --> 00:00:49,900 Mr. Brown's class. 6 00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:51,033 Brown. 7 00:00:51,133 --> 00:00:53,067 Mr. Brown? 8 00:00:53,167 --> 00:00:55,567 Ah, si, Juan Cervantes. 9 00:00:55,667 --> 00:00:57,267 Para servirla, Senora. 10 00:00:57,367 --> 00:01:00,933 Yes, but are you in Mr. Brown's class? 11 00:01:01,033 --> 00:01:03,033 English as a Foreign Language? 12 00:01:03,133 --> 00:01:04,533 Por favor? 13 00:01:04,633 --> 00:01:08,100 Are you really as stupid as you look? 14 00:01:08,200 --> 00:01:09,033 Never mind. 15 00:01:09,133 --> 00:01:10,300 Ah, excuse me. 16 00:01:10,400 --> 00:01:12,267 You are in Mr. Brown's class, aren't you? 17 00:01:13,267 --> 00:01:15,600 Are you or aren't you? 18 00:01:18,000 --> 00:01:20,000 Doesn't Mr. Brown teach you anything? 19 00:01:20,100 --> 00:01:21,867 Por favor? 20 00:01:21,967 --> 00:01:22,767 You? 21 00:01:22,867 --> 00:01:25,700 Yes, please, Missy. 22 00:01:25,800 --> 00:01:28,067 Can I be assisting you in any idea whatsoever? 23 00:01:28,167 --> 00:01:30,333 At last, a break through. 24 00:01:30,433 --> 00:01:33,600 Are you in Mr. Brown's class? 25 00:01:33,700 --> 00:01:36,400 No, I am in corridor! 26 00:01:36,500 --> 00:01:38,600 Do you think you could give him a message? 27 00:01:38,700 --> 00:01:40,233 Oh, certainly. 28 00:01:40,333 --> 00:01:42,033 I am Ms. Courtney. 29 00:01:42,133 --> 00:01:44,467 And I am Ranjeet Singh. 30 00:01:44,567 --> 00:01:46,067 Just at this particular moment, 31 00:01:46,167 --> 00:01:47,933 I'm not really bothered who you are. 32 00:01:48,033 --> 00:01:50,167 I just want you to give Mr. Brown a message. 33 00:01:50,267 --> 00:01:52,767 I'll be very happy to comply with your request. 34 00:01:52,867 --> 00:01:54,800 Would you tell him I would like a word with him? 35 00:01:54,900 --> 00:01:56,867 Oh, certainly. 36 00:01:56,967 --> 00:01:59,967 Which word would you like? 37 00:02:00,067 --> 00:02:02,167 Just say I want to speak to him. 38 00:02:05,400 --> 00:02:07,567 Foreigners! 39 00:02:07,667 --> 00:02:10,100 Quiet, please. 40 00:02:10,200 --> 00:02:11,633 Settle down. 41 00:02:11,733 --> 00:02:14,500 uh, thank you. 42 00:02:14,600 --> 00:02:15,467 Right. 43 00:02:15,567 --> 00:02:16,700 Good evening. 44 00:02:18,533 --> 00:02:20,200 So there appear to be some missing. 45 00:02:20,300 --> 00:02:21,867 I hope they haven't dropped out. 46 00:02:21,967 --> 00:02:22,767 Oh, please. 47 00:02:22,867 --> 00:02:24,567 It not be surprising me. 48 00:02:24,667 --> 00:02:27,967 I am always thinking that Sikh son of a guru 49 00:02:28,067 --> 00:02:30,767 was a Punjabi drop out! 50 00:02:30,867 --> 00:02:35,133 I am hearing what you are saying, you horrible-- 51 00:02:35,233 --> 00:02:36,567 Don't you two start again. 52 00:02:36,667 --> 00:02:38,067 Actually, you're late. 53 00:02:38,167 --> 00:02:40,600 1,000 apologies for this unforgivable 54 00:02:40,700 --> 00:02:44,700 tardiness, but we were all unavoidably detained 55 00:02:44,800 --> 00:02:46,467 in the corridor by a lady. 56 00:02:46,567 --> 00:02:47,533 Si, si. 57 00:02:47,633 --> 00:02:49,833 Do I take it, Juan, that you understood 58 00:02:49,933 --> 00:02:51,433 what Ranjeet was saying? 59 00:02:51,533 --> 00:02:52,333 Por favor? 60 00:02:52,433 --> 00:02:53,833 Oh, sorry. 61 00:02:53,933 --> 00:02:56,900 Who was this lady who detained you in the corridor? 62 00:02:57,000 --> 00:02:58,833 Oh, blimey. 63 00:02:58,933 --> 00:03:00,900 I am forgetting her name. 64 00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:05,067 She was a big lady, very large bosoms! 65 00:03:05,167 --> 00:03:07,600 Si, grandioso. 66 00:03:07,700 --> 00:03:09,000 Very good. 67 00:03:09,100 --> 00:03:10,633 Yes, and while you're trying to remember her name, 68 00:03:10,733 --> 00:03:13,633 perhaps you'd better sit down. 69 00:03:13,733 --> 00:03:18,167 Yeah, now I hope you've all done your homework. 70 00:03:18,267 --> 00:03:20,333 Excuse me, please. 71 00:03:20,433 --> 00:03:22,567 I am remembering the name. 72 00:03:22,667 --> 00:03:24,200 Missy Courtney. 73 00:03:24,300 --> 00:03:25,700 No, Ms Courtney. 74 00:03:25,800 --> 00:03:26,667 Yes, absolutely. 75 00:03:26,767 --> 00:03:29,800 The lady with the large bosom? 76 00:03:29,900 --> 00:03:31,233 She's wanting to see you. 77 00:03:31,333 --> 00:03:33,233 Yes, well, she'll just have to wait. 78 00:03:33,333 --> 00:03:34,133 Excuse me, please. 79 00:03:34,233 --> 00:03:37,100 She is already waiting. 80 00:03:37,200 --> 00:03:39,367 She may be the principal, but I have a class to teach. 81 00:03:39,467 --> 00:03:41,233 Now, as I was saying about-- 82 00:03:41,333 --> 00:03:47,200 ah, Miss Large-- um, Ms Courtney, I was just 83 00:03:47,300 --> 00:03:48,500 on my way to see you, actually. 84 00:03:48,600 --> 00:03:50,733 That's not the impression I got. 85 00:03:50,833 --> 00:03:51,967 Well, I shan't be a moment, class. 86 00:03:52,067 --> 00:03:53,533 Oh, it's all right. Don't bother. 87 00:03:53,633 --> 00:03:56,033 I merely wanted to tell you that you can expect another student. 88 00:03:56,133 --> 00:03:57,033 Oh, jolly good. 89 00:03:57,133 --> 00:03:58,300 More the merrier. 90 00:03:58,400 --> 00:04:00,400 You're not here to make merry, Mr. Brown. 91 00:04:00,500 --> 00:04:01,233 No, no. 92 00:04:01,333 --> 00:04:02,667 It was just a figure of speech. 93 00:04:02,767 --> 00:04:04,200 Well, you better try teaching a few figures of speech 94 00:04:04,300 --> 00:04:05,200 to your students. 95 00:04:05,300 --> 00:04:06,533 They seem to be in need of it. 96 00:04:06,633 --> 00:04:09,600 I'm doing my best. 97 00:04:09,700 --> 00:04:10,733 Oh, Ms Courtney? 98 00:04:10,833 --> 00:04:12,100 Yes. 99 00:04:12,200 --> 00:04:14,067 This new student, what nationality can I expect? 100 00:04:14,167 --> 00:04:15,333 - African - Oh,. 101 00:04:15,433 --> 00:04:16,267 African. 102 00:04:16,367 --> 00:04:17,267 Thank you. 103 00:04:17,367 --> 00:04:19,100 Right, now you remember I asked you all 104 00:04:19,200 --> 00:04:21,700 to write an essay, a short story about your life 105 00:04:21,800 --> 00:04:22,933 here in England. 106 00:04:23,033 --> 00:04:24,967 Hope you've all done so, have you? 107 00:04:25,067 --> 00:04:26,467 Good, good. 108 00:04:26,567 --> 00:04:27,867 Well, I shall go around the class and ask each of you 109 00:04:27,967 --> 00:04:29,200 to read out what you've written. 110 00:04:29,300 --> 00:04:32,367 Anna, shall we start with you? 111 00:04:32,467 --> 00:04:34,833 My life in England, by Anna Schmidt. 112 00:04:34,933 --> 00:04:37,600 Good, very good. 113 00:04:37,700 --> 00:04:40,433 Yeah, but go on. 114 00:04:40,533 --> 00:04:42,133 There is no more. 115 00:04:42,233 --> 00:04:43,267 That's all there is? 116 00:04:43,367 --> 00:04:45,367 Ja, I have no time to write more. 117 00:04:45,467 --> 00:04:47,400 Always that Mrs. Valker is keeping me busy, 118 00:04:47,500 --> 00:04:49,433 "Anna, do this, Anna do that." 119 00:04:49,533 --> 00:04:51,933 She is a slave driver, that Mrs. Valker. 120 00:04:52,033 --> 00:04:52,867 Walker. 121 00:04:52,967 --> 00:04:53,800 Vhat? 122 00:04:53,900 --> 00:04:55,900 W is pronounced wuh. 123 00:04:56,000 --> 00:04:57,867 Your employer's name is Walker. 124 00:04:57,967 --> 00:04:59,600 Ja, Valker. 125 00:04:59,700 --> 00:05:03,633 Do you know how many shirts Mrs. Valker made me iron last night? 126 00:05:03,733 --> 00:05:04,567 Walker. 127 00:05:04,667 --> 00:05:05,733 Ja, Valker. 128 00:05:05,833 --> 00:05:06,967 12. 129 00:05:07,067 --> 00:05:09,500 Zen I had to prepare a meal for the bitch. 130 00:05:13,200 --> 00:05:15,233 Anna, she may be a hard task mistress, 131 00:05:15,333 --> 00:05:16,833 but I don't think you ought to call her that? 132 00:05:16,933 --> 00:05:18,300 - Who? - Mrs. Valker. 133 00:05:18,400 --> 00:05:20,633 Walker. 134 00:05:20,733 --> 00:05:22,567 I vas meaning the dog, bitch. 135 00:05:22,667 --> 00:05:24,700 Oh I see. 136 00:05:24,800 --> 00:05:28,100 That is why I'm having no time for the homevork. 137 00:05:28,200 --> 00:05:29,433 Yes, well, not to worry. 138 00:05:29,533 --> 00:05:31,933 You really must concentrate on those W sounds. 139 00:05:32,033 --> 00:05:32,833 Wuh. 140 00:05:32,933 --> 00:05:33,767 Vuh. 141 00:05:33,867 --> 00:05:35,067 Yeah, wuh. 142 00:05:35,167 --> 00:05:38,933 Danielle, would you like to read us your essay? 143 00:05:39,033 --> 00:05:41,667 Oui. 144 00:05:41,767 --> 00:05:46,633 What I like about England, by Mademoiselle Danielle Favre, 145 00:05:46,733 --> 00:05:50,933 telephone 246-8021. 146 00:05:51,033 --> 00:05:52,400 Good, carry on. 147 00:05:52,500 --> 00:05:53,133 Scusi! 148 00:05:53,233 --> 00:05:54,100 Yes, Giovanni? 149 00:05:54,200 --> 00:05:58,633 Was that 8021 or 8012? 150 00:05:58,733 --> 00:06:00,133 It was 8021. 151 00:06:00,233 --> 00:06:01,400 Never mind what number it was. 152 00:06:01,500 --> 00:06:03,167 You're here to improve your English, 153 00:06:03,267 --> 00:06:04,367 not chat up other students. 154 00:06:04,467 --> 00:06:06,100 You are absolutely right, Professori. 155 00:06:06,200 --> 00:06:09,867 It's just, I'd like to improve my French as well. 156 00:06:09,967 --> 00:06:11,567 Well, you can do that in your own time. 157 00:06:11,667 --> 00:06:13,333 Carry on, Danielle. 158 00:06:13,433 --> 00:06:14,533 Thank you. 159 00:06:14,633 --> 00:06:17,300 Can I like England because the grass is so green 160 00:06:17,400 --> 00:06:19,567 and the peuple are so nice. 161 00:06:19,667 --> 00:06:20,667 People. 162 00:06:20,767 --> 00:06:22,433 Yes. 163 00:06:22,533 --> 00:06:26,067 Especially the men. 164 00:06:26,167 --> 00:06:28,700 Quiet, quiet! 165 00:06:28,800 --> 00:06:35,433 English men are so charming, so handsome, and so sexy. 166 00:06:38,067 --> 00:06:40,100 silence, please. 167 00:06:40,200 --> 00:06:42,133 Yeah, I think that'll do, Danielle. 168 00:06:42,233 --> 00:06:44,233 But I've written much more. 169 00:06:44,333 --> 00:06:46,467 All about the things that I like to do at night. 170 00:06:48,933 --> 00:06:51,500 Yes, well, I don't think we'd better go into those. 171 00:06:51,600 --> 00:06:54,367 I'll be reading all of your essays later. 172 00:06:54,467 --> 00:06:56,767 Jamila, I don't suppose you've written anything, have you? 173 00:07:00,067 --> 00:07:01,233 Written anything? 174 00:07:01,333 --> 00:07:02,000 No? 175 00:07:02,100 --> 00:07:03,167 Nah. 176 00:07:03,267 --> 00:07:04,800 Look, you really, really must start 177 00:07:04,900 --> 00:07:06,733 to speak a little, Jamila. 178 00:07:06,833 --> 00:07:08,100 Speak. 179 00:07:12,100 --> 00:07:14,033 No, no, no. In English. 180 00:07:14,133 --> 00:07:16,667 You must try to speak English. 181 00:07:16,767 --> 00:07:19,200 Look, try saying "good evening." 182 00:07:19,300 --> 00:07:20,933 Huh? 183 00:07:21,033 --> 00:07:22,500 All right, let's start with the "good." 184 00:07:22,600 --> 00:07:23,500 Good. 185 00:07:23,600 --> 00:07:25,300 Good. 186 00:07:25,400 --> 00:07:26,833 It's not difficult, Jamila. 187 00:07:26,933 --> 00:07:27,733 Come on. 188 00:07:27,833 --> 00:07:29,767 Good. 189 00:07:31,500 --> 00:07:33,067 Look, you nearly said it then. 190 00:07:33,167 --> 00:07:34,500 Come on, good. 191 00:07:34,600 --> 00:07:35,267 Good, good! 192 00:07:35,367 --> 00:07:37,100 Please, no prompting. 193 00:07:42,533 --> 00:07:43,367 Good! 194 00:07:43,467 --> 00:07:44,533 Yes, excellent! 195 00:07:44,633 --> 00:07:45,833 Well done. - Good. 196 00:07:45,933 --> 00:07:46,800 Now try "evening." 197 00:07:46,900 --> 00:07:48,633 Evening. 198 00:07:48,733 --> 00:07:49,933 It's not difficult, Jamila. 199 00:07:50,033 --> 00:07:51,300 Come on. 200 00:07:51,400 --> 00:07:52,633 Evening. 201 00:07:52,733 --> 00:07:53,567 Yes, yes. 202 00:07:53,667 --> 00:07:55,600 Come on. 203 00:07:55,700 --> 00:07:57,933 Good! 204 00:07:58,033 --> 00:07:59,433 I know you can say "good." 205 00:07:59,533 --> 00:08:00,733 Say "evening." 206 00:08:00,833 --> 00:08:01,633 Evening. 207 00:08:04,133 --> 00:08:05,133 Efening. 208 00:08:07,967 --> 00:08:08,900 Efening. 209 00:08:09,000 --> 00:08:10,667 Yes, good, good. 210 00:08:10,767 --> 00:08:11,867 Now, put them both together. 211 00:08:11,967 --> 00:08:13,033 Good evening. 212 00:08:15,933 --> 00:08:18,800 Good efening. 213 00:08:20,300 --> 00:08:21,767 - Good efening - Well done. 214 00:08:21,867 --> 00:08:22,767 Good efening. 215 00:08:22,867 --> 00:08:23,733 Good efening. 216 00:08:23,833 --> 00:08:25,300 Good efening. 217 00:08:25,400 --> 00:08:27,100 Stop. 218 00:08:27,200 --> 00:08:28,100 Well done, Jamila. 219 00:08:28,200 --> 00:08:29,033 Good efening. 220 00:08:29,133 --> 00:08:30,333 Good, well done. 221 00:08:30,433 --> 00:08:32,733 We'll try some new ones later. 222 00:08:32,833 --> 00:08:34,900 Su-Lee, have you written anything? 223 00:08:35,000 --> 00:08:36,533 Yes, yes. 224 00:08:36,633 --> 00:08:37,433 Fine. 225 00:08:42,100 --> 00:08:46,067 What I rike about England. 226 00:08:46,167 --> 00:08:48,333 England is becoming more politically minded 227 00:08:48,433 --> 00:08:51,733 and gladually more leftwing. 228 00:08:51,833 --> 00:08:53,900 The overthrow of decadent capitaristic government 229 00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:59,133 will soon take place as working crasses become more educated 230 00:08:59,233 --> 00:09:04,133 and embrace communism as the tlue way of rife. 231 00:09:04,233 --> 00:09:07,433 Workers levolution getting nearer with inevitable corrapse 232 00:09:07,533 --> 00:09:11,067 of imperialistic bourgeois intellectual society. 233 00:09:11,167 --> 00:09:13,167 Yes, well, if that's what you like about England, 234 00:09:13,267 --> 00:09:16,000 I wouldn't want to read what you didn't like. 235 00:09:16,100 --> 00:09:18,000 - Excuse, please, sir. - Yes, Taro. 236 00:09:22,367 --> 00:09:23,200 Ah. 237 00:09:27,433 --> 00:09:34,233 I have small observation on young lady's discourse 238 00:09:34,333 --> 00:09:41,867 that will illustrato increasedo knowledge of English. 239 00:09:41,967 --> 00:09:43,500 Certainly, Taro, go ahead. 240 00:09:43,600 --> 00:09:50,367 With respecto, young lady speako road of cobblers. 241 00:09:53,433 --> 00:09:56,100 Attitude typical of fascist Nipponese. 242 00:09:56,200 --> 00:09:59,800 Japan civilizedo country, not like China. 243 00:09:59,900 --> 00:10:01,833 Run by peasanto! 244 00:10:01,933 --> 00:10:03,800 Chinese not peasanto. 245 00:10:03,900 --> 00:10:05,400 Japanese not fascisto. 246 00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:10,133 Oh, Su-Lee! 247 00:10:10,233 --> 00:10:11,333 Su-Lee, come back. 248 00:10:11,433 --> 00:10:12,800 Taro, please go and apologize. 249 00:10:12,900 --> 00:10:13,800 Apologize? 250 00:10:13,900 --> 00:10:14,733 Yes. 251 00:10:14,833 --> 00:10:15,767 I will lose faceo. 252 00:10:15,867 --> 00:10:16,900 Not my faulto. 253 00:10:17,000 --> 00:10:18,233 Well, never mind. 254 00:10:18,333 --> 00:10:19,400 Never mind whose fault it was. 255 00:10:19,500 --> 00:10:20,333 Go. 256 00:10:23,767 --> 00:10:25,200 Please. 257 00:10:25,300 --> 00:10:27,000 Waito. 258 00:10:27,100 --> 00:10:29,600 Waito. 259 00:10:29,700 --> 00:10:30,533 Waito. 260 00:10:44,200 --> 00:10:45,267 Mrs. Courtney. 261 00:10:45,367 --> 00:10:46,267 Miss. 262 00:10:46,367 --> 00:10:47,400 So sorry. 263 00:10:47,500 --> 00:10:49,633 I'm Roger Kenyon from the Education Authority. 264 00:10:49,733 --> 00:10:51,100 Oh. 265 00:10:51,200 --> 00:10:52,967 Oh, they told me they were sending an inspector round, 266 00:10:53,067 --> 00:10:54,533 but I really didn't expect-- 267 00:10:54,633 --> 00:10:55,767 He would be black. 268 00:10:55,867 --> 00:10:57,033 He would be so young. 269 00:10:57,133 --> 00:10:59,133 My apologies, but the authority 270 00:10:59,233 --> 00:11:01,567 likes to check that the standards of evening classes 271 00:11:01,667 --> 00:11:02,633 are up to par. 272 00:11:02,733 --> 00:11:04,200 I can assure you that my standards here 273 00:11:04,300 --> 00:11:05,800 are well over par. 274 00:11:05,900 --> 00:11:07,333 I'm glad to hear it. 275 00:11:07,433 --> 00:11:09,067 Well, Mr. Kenyon, if you'd like to come with me, 276 00:11:09,167 --> 00:11:09,967 I'll show you around. 277 00:11:10,067 --> 00:11:11,533 No, no, no, please. 278 00:11:11,633 --> 00:11:14,267 I'd rather just wander around on my own, if you don't mind. 279 00:11:14,367 --> 00:11:16,533 I usually get a much clearer picture that way. 280 00:11:20,533 --> 00:11:22,367 Stop! 281 00:11:22,467 --> 00:11:23,600 Waito! 282 00:11:23,700 --> 00:11:24,533 Waito! 283 00:11:29,167 --> 00:11:30,833 Everything all right? 284 00:11:30,933 --> 00:11:31,767 Everything's OKO. 285 00:11:31,867 --> 00:11:32,700 Good. 286 00:11:32,800 --> 00:11:34,400 We have agleed to differ. 287 00:11:34,500 --> 00:11:35,467 Oh, right. 288 00:11:35,567 --> 00:11:36,200 Excuse me, please. 289 00:11:36,300 --> 00:11:37,667 Ah, our new African. 290 00:11:37,767 --> 00:11:38,833 Pardon? 291 00:11:38,933 --> 00:11:40,133 - Yeah, I've been expecting you. - Me? 292 00:11:40,233 --> 00:11:41,533 Yes, was always told I'd have a new pupil. 293 00:11:41,633 --> 00:11:43,067 Look, it's nearly time for our tea break, 294 00:11:43,167 --> 00:11:44,433 so why don't you just go to the back for a minute, 295 00:11:44,533 --> 00:11:46,000 and I'll take your particulars later? 296 00:11:46,100 --> 00:11:47,167 But-- 297 00:11:47,267 --> 00:11:48,267 Now, be a good chap and don't argue. 298 00:11:48,367 --> 00:11:49,700 Just go and sit there. All right? 299 00:11:49,800 --> 00:11:50,633 Yes, but-- 300 00:11:57,567 --> 00:11:58,400 Sit? 301 00:11:58,500 --> 00:11:59,300 Yes, please. 302 00:12:05,600 --> 00:12:07,667 OK. 303 00:12:07,767 --> 00:12:10,800 Me sit. 304 00:12:28,833 --> 00:12:29,733 There you are, my love. 305 00:12:29,833 --> 00:12:30,733 There you are. 306 00:12:30,833 --> 00:12:32,533 10p, dear. 307 00:12:32,633 --> 00:12:33,533 Thank you, love. 308 00:12:33,633 --> 00:12:34,867 That's it. 309 00:12:34,967 --> 00:12:36,900 Next. 310 00:12:37,000 --> 00:12:38,000 You sit here. 311 00:12:38,100 --> 00:12:39,067 Merci. 312 00:12:42,900 --> 00:12:45,100 - I get the coffee. - Yes. 313 00:12:45,200 --> 00:12:46,633 Coffee black? 314 00:12:46,733 --> 00:12:47,600 Thank you, please. 315 00:12:47,700 --> 00:12:48,733 Coffee black. 316 00:12:48,833 --> 00:12:51,467 Hey, I get the coffee for Danielle! 317 00:12:51,567 --> 00:12:52,867 Too bad. 318 00:12:52,967 --> 00:12:53,767 Sugar? 319 00:12:53,867 --> 00:12:55,167 Merci. 320 00:12:55,267 --> 00:12:56,067 How about a biscuit? 321 00:12:56,167 --> 00:12:57,900 You like the biscuit? 322 00:12:58,000 --> 00:13:00,000 I would like that. 323 00:13:00,100 --> 00:13:00,967 Good. 324 00:13:01,067 --> 00:13:02,033 I'll be back. 325 00:13:04,833 --> 00:13:05,700 A packet of biscuits, please. 326 00:13:05,800 --> 00:13:06,667 Pronto. 327 00:13:06,767 --> 00:13:07,733 Look, wait your time, love. 328 00:13:07,833 --> 00:13:08,800 There's a queue here. 329 00:13:08,900 --> 00:13:09,700 Go on. 330 00:13:13,800 --> 00:13:15,133 Next! 331 00:13:15,233 --> 00:13:18,133 Good evening. 332 00:13:18,233 --> 00:13:19,833 Yeah, good evening. 333 00:13:19,933 --> 00:13:22,433 Tea or coffee, love? 334 00:13:22,533 --> 00:13:25,000 Good efening. 335 00:13:25,100 --> 00:13:26,800 I heard you the first time. 336 00:13:26,900 --> 00:13:29,467 Tea or coffee? 337 00:13:29,567 --> 00:13:31,267 Oh, cha. 338 00:13:31,367 --> 00:13:32,200 Tea! 339 00:13:34,867 --> 00:13:36,467 10p. 340 00:13:36,567 --> 00:13:37,433 Good efening. 341 00:13:37,533 --> 00:13:38,367 OK. 342 00:13:38,467 --> 00:13:40,000 10-- 10p! 343 00:13:40,100 --> 00:13:41,900 Oi! - It's all right. 344 00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:43,567 I'll pay for that, and a coffee for me, please. 345 00:13:43,667 --> 00:13:44,900 And a coffee for you. 346 00:13:45,000 --> 00:13:46,533 Thank you. 347 00:13:46,633 --> 00:13:47,700 Are you Mr. Brown? 348 00:13:47,800 --> 00:13:49,067 Yes. 349 00:13:49,167 --> 00:13:52,833 Oh, I've got a message for you from her ladyship. 350 00:13:52,933 --> 00:13:54,767 Oh, lady who? 351 00:13:54,867 --> 00:13:56,433 - Ms Courtney! - Oh, Ms Courtney. 352 00:13:56,533 --> 00:13:58,933 She's been in here, and she wants to see you. 353 00:13:59,033 --> 00:14:00,133 Yeah, I know what she does want. 354 00:14:00,233 --> 00:14:01,967 Yes, Mr. Brown? 355 00:14:02,067 --> 00:14:04,567 Um, you wanted to see me? 356 00:14:04,667 --> 00:14:08,667 In my office immediately. 357 00:14:08,767 --> 00:14:09,633 Careful, that's coffee. 358 00:14:09,733 --> 00:14:10,567 You'll spill it. 359 00:14:10,667 --> 00:14:11,467 Por favor? 360 00:14:11,567 --> 00:14:12,500 That's coffee. 361 00:14:12,600 --> 00:14:13,933 Gracias. 362 00:14:17,100 --> 00:14:18,200 Cheers. 363 00:14:18,300 --> 00:14:19,200 Same again, please. 364 00:14:19,300 --> 00:14:20,567 Oh, another Mr. Brown. 365 00:14:20,667 --> 00:14:21,567 Thank you. 366 00:14:21,667 --> 00:14:23,333 Thank you, love. 367 00:14:23,433 --> 00:14:24,933 Packet of, biscuits, please. 368 00:14:25,033 --> 00:14:25,833 Oh, I'm sorry. 369 00:14:25,933 --> 00:14:27,833 We haven't any left! 370 00:14:27,933 --> 00:14:28,733 Mama mia! 371 00:14:28,833 --> 00:14:29,933 Oh, good, good. 372 00:14:30,033 --> 00:14:32,900 You've come to have a cup of coffee? 373 00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:34,900 Coffee? 374 00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:35,933 Yes, coffee. 375 00:14:36,033 --> 00:14:37,600 This stuff. 376 00:14:37,700 --> 00:14:38,533 Thank you. 377 00:14:45,000 --> 00:14:46,733 Enter. 378 00:14:46,833 --> 00:14:50,167 It has taken you two minutes 38 seconds exactly to come 379 00:14:50,267 --> 00:14:52,300 to my office immediately. 380 00:14:52,400 --> 00:14:54,167 I'm glad I didn't ask you to take your time. 381 00:14:54,267 --> 00:14:55,067 Well, I'm sorry. 382 00:14:55,167 --> 00:14:56,767 I was detained. 383 00:14:56,867 --> 00:14:57,967 Well, I thought I'd better tell you 384 00:14:58,067 --> 00:14:59,967 that an inspector has arrived. 385 00:15:00,067 --> 00:15:01,600 Oh, my conscience is clear. 386 00:15:01,700 --> 00:15:02,867 I beg your pardon? 387 00:15:02,967 --> 00:15:04,100 Well, apart from the odd parking ticket, 388 00:15:04,200 --> 00:15:06,533 I've never had any trouble with the police. 389 00:15:06,633 --> 00:15:08,700 An education inspector. 390 00:15:08,800 --> 00:15:09,600 Ah, I see. 391 00:15:09,700 --> 00:15:10,533 I'm sorry. 392 00:15:10,633 --> 00:15:11,467 How stupid of me. 393 00:15:11,567 --> 00:15:12,733 Yes. 394 00:15:12,833 --> 00:15:14,567 Well, he'll probably want to call in on your class. 395 00:15:14,667 --> 00:15:16,600 Oh, well, don't worry. I'll deal with him. 396 00:15:16,700 --> 00:15:19,367 You don't deal with inspectors from the local authority, 397 00:15:19,467 --> 00:15:20,733 Mr. Brown. 398 00:15:20,833 --> 00:15:22,633 You cosset them, and flatter them, and agree with everything 399 00:15:22,733 --> 00:15:23,733 they say. 400 00:15:23,833 --> 00:15:25,200 Yeah, well, I'll do that as well. 401 00:15:25,300 --> 00:15:27,333 I expect he'll want to see your register. 402 00:15:27,433 --> 00:15:28,800 My register? 403 00:15:28,900 --> 00:15:30,933 You do have a register? 404 00:15:31,033 --> 00:15:31,933 Oh, that register? 405 00:15:32,033 --> 00:15:33,033 Yes, of course. 406 00:15:33,133 --> 00:15:34,033 Well, you better call it as soon 407 00:15:34,133 --> 00:15:35,267 as you get back to your class. 408 00:15:35,367 --> 00:15:36,533 Right. 409 00:15:36,633 --> 00:15:38,133 By the way, while you're here, the local authority 410 00:15:38,233 --> 00:15:41,000 want me to fill in a few details about you on this form. 411 00:15:41,100 --> 00:15:42,633 - I've got your name. - Yes. 412 00:15:42,733 --> 00:15:43,867 - Address. - Yes. 413 00:15:43,967 --> 00:15:44,767 Sex. 414 00:15:44,867 --> 00:15:45,800 Occasionally. 415 00:15:49,833 --> 00:15:50,633 Married? 416 00:15:50,733 --> 00:15:51,700 Sorry. 417 00:15:51,800 --> 00:15:53,767 No, I was engaged once. 418 00:15:53,867 --> 00:15:55,067 Matter of fact, I proposed marriage, 419 00:15:55,167 --> 00:15:56,333 but it didn't really work out. 420 00:15:56,433 --> 00:15:57,767 There was quite a lot of opposition. 421 00:15:57,867 --> 00:15:59,033 - Her father? - No, her husband. 422 00:15:59,133 --> 00:16:02,000 I didn't realize she was married at the time. 423 00:16:02,100 --> 00:16:03,633 What do you do during the day? 424 00:16:03,733 --> 00:16:04,933 Nothing at the moment. 425 00:16:05,033 --> 00:16:06,533 I'm afraid I'm waiting for a suitable position. 426 00:16:06,633 --> 00:16:08,133 And what was your last position? 427 00:16:08,233 --> 00:16:09,900 Well, I was teaching at a secondary modern school, 428 00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:11,000 but I left. 429 00:16:11,100 --> 00:16:12,433 I couldn't stand any more beatings. 430 00:16:12,533 --> 00:16:14,133 Well, I didn't think teachers beat children anymore.e 431 00:16:14,233 --> 00:16:15,100 Oh, they don't. 432 00:16:15,200 --> 00:16:17,167 It was the other way around. 433 00:16:17,267 --> 00:16:19,300 I think you'd better take this form, and fill it out yourself, 434 00:16:19,400 --> 00:16:20,667 and bring it back to me later. - Right. 435 00:16:20,767 --> 00:16:22,733 And do be careful what you say to the inspector. 436 00:16:22,833 --> 00:16:24,000 Oh, of course. 437 00:16:24,100 --> 00:16:25,800 Oh, by the way, the new student has arrived. 438 00:16:25,900 --> 00:16:29,200 You won't forget to add the name to the register, will you? 439 00:16:34,833 --> 00:16:39,933 Danielle, what you do after class? 440 00:16:40,033 --> 00:16:41,600 I go and learn the English. 441 00:16:41,700 --> 00:16:44,133 Hey, I'ma gonna learn the English as well. 442 00:16:44,233 --> 00:16:45,733 Maybe we learn together, huh? 443 00:16:45,833 --> 00:16:48,100 Yes, but what about poor Max? 444 00:16:48,200 --> 00:16:49,700 Yeah, what about poor Max? 445 00:16:49,800 --> 00:16:53,567 I'ma crying my eyes out. 446 00:16:53,667 --> 00:16:55,167 I have an idea. 447 00:16:55,267 --> 00:16:57,400 I have lots of ideas. 448 00:16:57,500 --> 00:16:59,767 Why not you and Max study together, huh? 449 00:17:05,900 --> 00:17:07,433 Right, class, settle down, please. 450 00:17:07,533 --> 00:17:08,833 Quiet. 451 00:17:08,933 --> 00:17:11,100 Now, the first thing we have to do before we do anything else 452 00:17:11,200 --> 00:17:12,800 is to call the register. - So sorry. 453 00:17:12,900 --> 00:17:14,033 Ah, that's quite all right. 454 00:17:14,133 --> 00:17:15,400 I expect you'll have a bit of difficulty 455 00:17:15,500 --> 00:17:16,833 finding your way around at first. 456 00:17:16,933 --> 00:17:18,533 Things will seem rather strange. 457 00:17:18,633 --> 00:17:19,933 Yes, very strange. 458 00:17:20,033 --> 00:17:21,000 Yes, Must. 459 00:17:21,100 --> 00:17:22,300 Be quite a change coming from one 460 00:17:22,400 --> 00:17:23,800 of the underdeveloped countries to our more 461 00:17:23,900 --> 00:17:25,900 advanced way of life. 462 00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:27,200 Oh, yes. 463 00:17:27,300 --> 00:17:28,800 Still, your people are doing remarkably well. 464 00:17:28,900 --> 00:17:30,500 Did you fly here? 465 00:17:30,600 --> 00:17:31,867 Fly? 466 00:17:31,967 --> 00:17:33,100 How do you mean, bwana? 467 00:17:36,133 --> 00:17:40,033 Fly in a big iron bird. 468 00:17:40,133 --> 00:17:43,533 Quite a change from riding an elephant. 469 00:17:43,633 --> 00:17:44,600 Unless you came by Jumbo. 470 00:17:48,467 --> 00:17:50,800 English joke. 471 00:17:50,900 --> 00:17:52,300 Very funny. 472 00:17:52,400 --> 00:17:53,867 Well, perhaps you'd better sit down. 473 00:17:53,967 --> 00:17:55,133 Right? 474 00:17:55,233 --> 00:17:56,367 Right, now I'm going to call out your names, 475 00:17:56,467 --> 00:17:58,500 and will you please answer "present." 476 00:17:58,600 --> 00:18:00,500 Present. 477 00:18:00,600 --> 00:18:03,500 Yes, Ali, but wait until I've called your name our. 478 00:18:03,600 --> 00:18:04,500 Sorry, please. 479 00:18:04,600 --> 00:18:06,600 Ranjeet Singh? 480 00:18:06,700 --> 00:18:09,000 Present and correct, please. 481 00:18:09,100 --> 00:18:10,100 Giovanni Cappello. 482 00:18:10,200 --> 00:18:11,200 Si, Professori. 483 00:18:11,300 --> 00:18:13,133 No, Giovanni, not "professori." 484 00:18:13,233 --> 00:18:14,267 No professori? 485 00:18:14,367 --> 00:18:15,800 No, you should address me as "sir." 486 00:18:15,900 --> 00:18:16,733 Sir. 487 00:18:16,833 --> 00:18:19,400 Yes. 488 00:18:19,500 --> 00:18:20,767 Now I understand! 489 00:18:24,700 --> 00:18:26,200 You have been to get noted! 490 00:18:35,633 --> 00:18:36,800 Come again? 491 00:18:36,900 --> 00:18:41,667 Well, to become a sir, you got noted by the Queen. 492 00:18:41,767 --> 00:18:45,667 The word is "knighted," and I'm not that kind of sir. 493 00:18:45,767 --> 00:18:47,800 Maximilian Papandrious. 494 00:18:47,900 --> 00:18:49,367 Maximilian Papandrious? 495 00:18:49,467 --> 00:18:52,467 - Mr. Brown is speaking to you. - Is he? 496 00:18:55,667 --> 00:18:56,867 Sorry. 497 00:18:56,967 --> 00:18:59,033 You want something? 498 00:18:59,133 --> 00:19:01,900 Are you here or not? 499 00:19:05,567 --> 00:19:07,467 Well, sure I'm here. 500 00:19:07,567 --> 00:19:09,400 Taro Nagazumi. 501 00:19:09,500 --> 00:19:10,333 Ah so. 502 00:19:15,133 --> 00:19:17,600 - Presento. - Anna Schmidt? 503 00:19:17,700 --> 00:19:18,500 Ja, present. 504 00:19:18,600 --> 00:19:20,067 Su-Lee Chung? 505 00:19:20,167 --> 00:19:20,967 Plesent. 506 00:19:21,067 --> 00:19:22,800 Ali Nadim. 507 00:19:22,900 --> 00:19:23,700 Gift. 508 00:19:27,333 --> 00:19:28,067 Gift? 509 00:19:28,167 --> 00:19:31,267 I'm surprising you, no? 510 00:19:31,367 --> 00:19:35,167 Each day, I'm learning a new English word. 511 00:19:35,267 --> 00:19:40,033 And I'm finding that gift is another word for "present." 512 00:19:45,100 --> 00:19:46,067 Very ingenious. 513 00:19:46,167 --> 00:19:47,733 Thank you very much. 514 00:19:47,833 --> 00:19:49,967 Danielle Favre? 515 00:19:50,067 --> 00:19:51,000 Present. 516 00:19:51,100 --> 00:19:52,567 And I am all here. 517 00:19:55,600 --> 00:19:56,800 I can see that. 518 00:19:56,900 --> 00:19:58,367 Jamila Ranjha. 519 00:19:58,467 --> 00:19:59,133 Anji? 520 00:19:59,233 --> 00:20:03,467 Oh, good efening. 521 00:20:03,567 --> 00:20:04,867 Yes you're here. 522 00:20:04,967 --> 00:20:06,667 And Juan Cervantes? 523 00:20:06,767 --> 00:20:07,600 Por favor? 524 00:20:07,700 --> 00:20:08,500 Present. 525 00:20:08,600 --> 00:20:09,400 Por favor? 526 00:20:09,500 --> 00:20:10,533 You're here. 527 00:20:10,633 --> 00:20:12,600 Present. 528 00:20:12,700 --> 00:20:14,100 I better take down your particulars, 529 00:20:14,200 --> 00:20:15,967 otherwise, I may get into hot water. 530 00:20:16,067 --> 00:20:17,000 Oh? 531 00:20:17,100 --> 00:20:19,867 You are going to have a hot bath? 532 00:20:19,967 --> 00:20:21,300 No, Ali. 533 00:20:21,400 --> 00:20:23,633 It's just another way of saying I may get into trouble. 534 00:20:23,733 --> 00:20:25,000 Oh dear! 535 00:20:25,100 --> 00:20:28,600 You have been committing some grievous misdemeanor! 536 00:20:28,700 --> 00:20:29,867 Not at all. 537 00:20:29,967 --> 00:20:31,067 There's an inspector from the local education 538 00:20:31,167 --> 00:20:32,467 authority coming round. 539 00:20:32,567 --> 00:20:33,867 yeah, the big boss. 540 00:20:33,967 --> 00:20:35,500 Yes, I suppose you could say that, but from my experience, 541 00:20:35,600 --> 00:20:39,267 they're usually interfering old fogeys. 542 00:20:39,367 --> 00:20:40,600 You don't like them? 543 00:20:40,700 --> 00:20:42,033 Not particularly. 544 00:20:42,133 --> 00:20:43,600 Frankly, they're quite useless and about as outdated 545 00:20:43,700 --> 00:20:44,833 as their teaching methods. 546 00:20:44,933 --> 00:20:45,967 I mean, what's the point of learning 547 00:20:46,067 --> 00:20:47,700 past participles, cognate objects, 548 00:20:47,800 --> 00:20:48,833 or subordinate clauses? 549 00:20:48,933 --> 00:20:50,400 It's far more useful to try to teach 550 00:20:50,500 --> 00:20:53,467 a foreign student how to order a meal or find accommodation. 551 00:20:53,567 --> 00:20:55,800 You appear to have some rather unique ideas. 552 00:20:55,900 --> 00:20:57,033 Yeah, I suppose I have. 553 00:20:57,133 --> 00:20:59,900 You know, you speak English fairly well. 554 00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:01,567 Thank you. 555 00:21:01,667 --> 00:21:03,100 And what is your name? 556 00:21:03,200 --> 00:21:04,333 Roger Kenyon. 557 00:21:04,433 --> 00:21:05,067 Roger Kenyon. 558 00:21:05,167 --> 00:21:07,000 Can Ah yes. 559 00:21:07,100 --> 00:21:09,100 Ah, Ms. Courtney, I'm just completing the register 560 00:21:09,200 --> 00:21:10,433 and getting the details of our new student 561 00:21:10,533 --> 00:21:14,033 before that inspector chappy pokes his nose in. 562 00:21:14,133 --> 00:21:15,867 Well, Mr. Brown-- 563 00:21:15,967 --> 00:21:17,200 I shan't be a moment, Ms. Courtney. 564 00:21:17,300 --> 00:21:18,500 What is your job? 565 00:21:18,600 --> 00:21:19,433 Inspector. 566 00:21:19,533 --> 00:21:20,167 Oh. 567 00:21:20,267 --> 00:21:23,567 What, local transport? 568 00:21:23,667 --> 00:21:26,000 Local education authority. 569 00:21:26,100 --> 00:21:27,067 Ooh. 570 00:21:30,400 --> 00:21:32,067 I thought it was the new student. 571 00:21:32,167 --> 00:21:33,400 The new student is a female. 572 00:21:33,500 --> 00:21:34,233 Is she? 573 00:21:34,333 --> 00:21:35,867 Well, you didn't tell me that. 574 00:21:35,967 --> 00:21:37,133 My apologies, Mr. Kenyon. 575 00:21:37,233 --> 00:21:38,700 And I do assure you that Mr. Brown 576 00:21:38,800 --> 00:21:40,433 will be severely dealt with. 577 00:21:40,533 --> 00:21:43,300 I can't remember when I last enjoyed myself so much. 578 00:21:43,400 --> 00:21:45,300 - I beg your pardon? - Enjoyed yourself? 579 00:21:45,400 --> 00:21:48,767 You know, Ms. Courtney, your Mr. Brown is a remarkable man. 580 00:21:48,867 --> 00:21:49,667 I am? 581 00:21:49,767 --> 00:21:51,167 He is? 582 00:21:51,267 --> 00:21:54,033 Yes, his teaching methods may be somewhat revolutionary, 583 00:21:54,133 --> 00:21:55,567 but they appear to work. 584 00:21:55,667 --> 00:22:00,167 I have always encouraged my staff to be forward thinking. 585 00:22:00,267 --> 00:22:01,433 Hm. 586 00:22:01,533 --> 00:22:04,233 Well, I'll pass on your comments to the authority. 587 00:22:04,333 --> 00:22:06,433 Perhaps they'll revise their textbooks. 588 00:22:06,533 --> 00:22:09,067 Now, if you'll excuse me, I must put in an appearance 589 00:22:09,167 --> 00:22:10,167 at the other classes. 590 00:22:13,067 --> 00:22:16,367 Oh, Keep Up the good work, Mr. Brown. 591 00:22:16,467 --> 00:22:20,033 And thank you very much for the coffee. 592 00:22:20,133 --> 00:22:21,300 I'll come with you, Mr. Kenyon. 593 00:22:24,200 --> 00:22:26,467 Blimey, you are dropping a clinker! 594 00:22:29,933 --> 00:22:31,800 You mean "clanger." 595 00:22:31,900 --> 00:22:33,267 Yes, please! 596 00:22:33,367 --> 00:22:35,600 Yes, well, all right, let's continue with out lesson. 597 00:22:35,700 --> 00:22:36,600 Get out your textbooks. 598 00:22:36,700 --> 00:22:38,233 I'm gonna give you all a few exercises. 599 00:22:38,333 --> 00:22:40,200 Scusi, Professori, sir. 600 00:22:40,300 --> 00:22:41,467 I can't do any exercises. 601 00:22:41,567 --> 00:22:42,233 Why not? 602 00:22:42,333 --> 00:22:43,467 I've got a bad back. 603 00:22:46,333 --> 00:22:48,033 Excuse me, I was looking for-- 604 00:22:48,133 --> 00:22:49,333 Ah, at last. 605 00:22:49,433 --> 00:22:51,267 A pity you didn't arrive half an hour earlier. 606 00:22:51,367 --> 00:22:52,567 Why? 607 00:22:52,667 --> 00:22:53,833 You might have saved me a great deal of embarrassment 608 00:22:53,933 --> 00:22:54,767 with a certain African gentleman. 609 00:22:54,867 --> 00:22:55,900 Oh. 610 00:22:56,000 --> 00:22:56,833 Yes, he was the school's inspector, 611 00:22:56,933 --> 00:22:57,933 but I mistook him for you. 612 00:22:58,033 --> 00:22:59,667 You thought a gentleman was me? 613 00:22:59,767 --> 00:23:02,000 Yeah, the silly fool tried to pretend he was a student 614 00:23:02,100 --> 00:23:03,533 and sit at the back to try to catch me out, 615 00:23:03,633 --> 00:23:05,200 but I saw through him. 616 00:23:05,300 --> 00:23:07,300 I gather you think he was a bit stupid. 617 00:23:07,400 --> 00:23:09,133 Oh, definitely, thick as a brush. 618 00:23:09,233 --> 00:23:10,067 Was his name Mr. Kenyon? 619 00:23:10,167 --> 00:23:12,133 Yes, do you know him? 620 00:23:12,233 --> 00:23:13,333 I sure should do. 621 00:23:13,433 --> 00:23:14,467 I've come to collect him. 622 00:23:14,567 --> 00:23:15,367 Ah. 623 00:23:15,467 --> 00:23:18,067 I am his wife. 624 00:23:18,167 --> 00:23:22,967 Oh, blimey, yes, you have dropped another clinker! 40199

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