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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:03:12,170 --> 00:03:16,430
You must realize, Bosley, your wife is
one of the most neurotic women I've ever
2
00:03:16,430 --> 00:03:20,690
examined. I still think a few more
months in the sanitarium would be
3
00:03:20,970 --> 00:03:24,430
It may be too early to trust her in her
natural environment.
4
00:03:24,690 --> 00:03:25,910
Oh, Doc, be optimistic.
5
00:03:26,630 --> 00:03:30,590
Peggy's breakdown is part of the path
now. I don't want her in another mental
6
00:03:30,590 --> 00:03:32,810
hospital. I want her home with me and
the kid.
7
00:03:33,370 --> 00:03:38,250
Dr. Evans, the road to mental health is
just around the corner.
8
00:07:56,750 --> 00:07:57,750
We'll see about that.
9
00:08:00,150 --> 00:08:01,810
You didn't know I marked these, did you?
10
00:08:02,490 --> 00:08:07,030
Here, look here. See this pencil line?
That was marked just yesterday.
11
00:08:07,630 --> 00:08:10,590
You've had quite a few cocktails,
haven't you, Griselda?
12
00:08:11,850 --> 00:08:13,350
What else have you pilfered?
13
00:08:13,650 --> 00:08:17,230
I think I'll have a look in that purse.
You ain't looking in my purse. Why not?
14
00:08:17,450 --> 00:08:22,570
Got something to hide? Don't you know
men aren't supposed to look in a lady's
15
00:08:22,570 --> 00:08:23,570
handbag?
16
00:08:26,380 --> 00:08:29,840
No wonder you people are always in the
unemployment line. Now give me that bag.
17
00:08:30,100 --> 00:08:34,740
I don't want no white man looking at my
Tampax. I wouldn't worry about your
18
00:08:34,740 --> 00:08:36,140
Tampax if I were you.
19
00:08:37,360 --> 00:08:39,140
Well, look at this.
20
00:08:39,640 --> 00:08:41,580
My savings account book.
21
00:08:42,080 --> 00:08:43,559
With withdrawal slips.
22
00:08:45,140 --> 00:08:46,480
My lottery ticket.
23
00:08:47,960 --> 00:08:50,340
And two rolls of toilet paper.
24
00:08:51,120 --> 00:08:53,060
I'm placing you under citizen's arrest.
25
00:08:53,300 --> 00:08:55,660
I'm going to call the police and report
you. Get out!
26
00:09:16,650 --> 00:09:17,650
playing through.
27
00:09:52,080 --> 00:09:55,260
Peggy her medication, and then I'll be
back to deal with you.
28
00:09:57,380 --> 00:09:58,380
Peg!
29
00:10:03,680 --> 00:10:04,980
Get out!
30
00:10:05,600 --> 00:10:09,020
Let's have a little medication, all
right? Oh, you're just upset.
31
00:10:09,600 --> 00:10:10,740
Now, what's the matter?
32
00:10:10,940 --> 00:10:12,500
Everything was going so well.
33
00:10:12,780 --> 00:10:16,720
Get out of here, you stinking piece of
flesh!
34
00:10:17,060 --> 00:10:18,280
Don't say those things, Peggy.
35
00:10:18,660 --> 00:10:19,639
Come on.
36
00:10:19,640 --> 00:10:21,060
This will make you feel better.
37
00:10:21,500 --> 00:10:23,640
Give me your arm. Oh, you touched me!
38
00:10:24,040 --> 00:10:29,780
Now my flesh is rotting! The touch of
scum! Stop it, Peggy.
39
00:10:30,120 --> 00:10:31,300
Don't make me use force.
40
00:10:31,560 --> 00:10:34,620
Now let me give you your shot or I'll
have to call the hospital. Stay away!
41
00:12:28,270 --> 00:12:31,430
me to come this way, Griselda. You know
I hate nature.
42
00:12:31,750 --> 00:12:36,170
Look at those disgusting trees stealing
my oxygen.
43
00:12:36,610 --> 00:12:39,770
Oh, I can't stand this scenery another
minute.
44
00:12:40,050 --> 00:12:43,250
All natural forest should be turned into
housing development.
45
00:12:43,590 --> 00:12:50,030
I want cement covering every blade of
grass in this nation. Don't we taxpayers
46
00:12:50,030 --> 00:12:51,470
have a voice anymore?
47
00:12:51,890 --> 00:12:56,970
Do you ever shut up? The police are out
looking for us, you know.
48
00:12:57,370 --> 00:13:00,390
We're going to camp out here overnight.
49
00:13:01,410 --> 00:13:04,030
Camp out? Oh, not me.
50
00:13:20,570 --> 00:13:25,030
Now you listen to me, Miss Peggy Gravel.
You better...
51
00:13:26,670 --> 00:13:30,750
before I haul off and smack you upside
your wide, wide head.
52
00:13:30,950 --> 00:13:37,130
We killed your husband, and I ain't your
maid anymore, bitch. I'm your sister in
53
00:13:37,130 --> 00:13:38,130
crime.
54
00:13:56,970 --> 00:13:57,970
Up against the car.
55
00:13:58,210 --> 00:14:02,290
Arms up on the car. One false move and
your head will be flying through them
56
00:14:02,290 --> 00:14:06,490
trees. What is this? Are you kidding me?
Does it look like I'm kidding now, Mal?
57
00:14:07,630 --> 00:14:12,910
Officer, I am an outpatient from the
hospital. I'm very prone to anxiety
58
00:14:12,910 --> 00:14:16,670
attacks. So please treat me with
therapeutic courtesy.
59
00:14:17,290 --> 00:14:21,970
Ha, I know who you are. There's an all
-points bullet now for both of you.
60
00:14:22,150 --> 00:14:24,930
You're Peggy Gravel and you killed your
husband.
61
00:14:25,190 --> 00:14:28,290
Why, that's preposterous. We were about
to have a picnic.
62
00:14:28,750 --> 00:14:32,090
Don't give me that shit. You're trying
to escape to Mortville.
63
00:14:32,330 --> 00:14:34,590
I never heard of no town called
Mortville.
64
00:14:34,990 --> 00:14:37,710
Well, you should have. You belong there.
65
00:14:37,970 --> 00:14:41,910
That's a special town for people like
you two. People who should be so
66
00:14:41,910 --> 00:14:43,650
embarrassed by what they've done.
67
00:14:43,850 --> 00:14:47,650
I just might let you go there. That is,
if you cooperate.
68
00:14:47,950 --> 00:14:52,370
What do we have to do for you, sharer
shit -face?
69
00:14:52,910 --> 00:14:54,890
Sit on that car hood. You'll see.
70
00:14:56,190 --> 00:14:57,830
something to show you first.
71
00:15:08,430 --> 00:15:12,610
You like lingerie? How do you like these
little numbers?
72
00:15:12,870 --> 00:15:16,190
I sent away to them from Frederick's.
They was expensive.
73
00:15:17,130 --> 00:15:21,390
I love to feel a cold nylon on my big
butt.
74
00:15:21,730 --> 00:15:24,110
Will you please stop it?
75
00:15:24,680 --> 00:15:29,520
I have never found the antics of
deviants to be one bit amusing.
76
00:15:30,400 --> 00:15:34,460
What I like best is a French kiss while
I'm all dressed.
77
00:15:35,840 --> 00:15:39,520
Don't expect no kiss from me, liver
lips.
78
00:15:40,060 --> 00:15:42,400
Come on, take off your underpants.
79
00:15:42,600 --> 00:15:43,600
Hand them over.
80
00:15:43,740 --> 00:15:46,160
I knew cops were sick.
81
00:15:53,390 --> 00:15:56,370
These are big ones, a little plain for
my taste.
82
00:16:03,050 --> 00:16:05,890
Now, I think I'll slip them on.
83
00:16:08,810 --> 00:16:13,650
How does that look? Pretty sexy, huh?
84
00:16:15,130 --> 00:16:17,610
Now, how about that kiss?
85
00:16:18,240 --> 00:16:20,220
If I kiss you, will you let us go?
86
00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:23,700
You bet, man. I want a real wet one now.
87
00:16:28,160 --> 00:16:29,400
Goddamn scum.
88
00:16:29,820 --> 00:16:32,580
Now that was a real soul kiss.
89
00:16:34,200 --> 00:16:39,540
Okay, Buster, you've had your fun. Now
which way to Mortville?
90
00:16:39,800 --> 00:16:40,900
I ain't through yet.
91
00:16:41,160 --> 00:16:44,860
Mrs. Gravel, I'd like to examine your
underpants.
92
00:16:45,160 --> 00:16:46,280
I will not.
93
00:16:47,040 --> 00:16:49,060
I thought you wanted to go to Mortville.
94
00:16:49,260 --> 00:16:52,780
They let killers live there scot -free.
95
00:16:54,540 --> 00:17:00,340
I have never been so mortified in my
entire life.
96
00:17:04,020 --> 00:17:05,180
Here, blossom.
97
00:17:09,280 --> 00:17:15,099
That's more like it. Ah, these are from
Bloomingdale's. You've got good taste.
98
00:17:15,630 --> 00:17:18,970
I think I'll try to fit my big business
into them.
99
00:17:23,430 --> 00:17:26,730
They're tight, but they sure feel good.
100
00:17:26,950 --> 00:17:30,290
Now, do I get my little kiss -kiss?
101
00:17:30,750 --> 00:17:34,110
No, please, not a kiss. I swear I'll
gag.
102
00:17:34,530 --> 00:17:37,230
Melt me if you must, but not a kiss.
103
00:17:37,610 --> 00:17:42,390
Come on now, I'm all dressed up in my
pretty underthings, and I need a little
104
00:17:42,390 --> 00:17:43,430
lip suction.
105
00:17:46,600 --> 00:17:48,120
Now for that mouth.
106
00:17:52,180 --> 00:17:57,440
I'd like to stick my whole head in your
mouth and let you suck out my eyeballs.
107
00:17:57,800 --> 00:18:00,580
I bet you'd like that, wouldn't you?
108
00:18:17,100 --> 00:18:18,100
Pull it.
109
00:19:13,290 --> 00:19:14,290
Yeah,
110
00:19:18,290 --> 00:19:22,210
the queen, you keep talking about the
queen. The queen ain't worth a damn. I
111
00:19:22,210 --> 00:19:23,210
stop!
112
00:19:50,050 --> 00:19:51,450
I'll take a slice, please.
113
00:19:51,710 --> 00:19:54,010
Oh, you want lemon meringue or
chocolate?
114
00:19:54,330 --> 00:19:55,630
Chocolate, honey. Okay.
115
00:19:59,770 --> 00:20:03,930
That'll be ten cents. Could you
recommend a rooming house where we could
116
00:20:03,930 --> 00:20:04,930
the night?
117
00:20:08,230 --> 00:20:10,470
I don't think I like it here.
118
00:20:10,670 --> 00:20:15,930
It's filthy and the people are
repulsive. We have no choice, Peggy, and
119
00:20:15,930 --> 00:20:16,930
better than jail.
120
00:20:17,090 --> 00:20:21,790
I'll tell you, Grisella, there is
something wrong here. Look around you.
121
00:20:22,160 --> 00:20:24,040
It's a village of idiots.
122
00:20:28,960 --> 00:20:30,940
Can't you act normal?
123
00:20:31,160 --> 00:20:33,280
Just act normal for a day.
124
00:20:35,600 --> 00:20:40,940
Please, there must be a quality court or
something. I can't go in that hog pen.
125
00:20:41,260 --> 00:20:42,260
Oh, shut up.
126
00:20:53,130 --> 00:20:56,310
Can I help you? We were raped. Please
give us shelter.
127
00:20:56,810 --> 00:20:58,170
You were raped?
128
00:20:58,550 --> 00:21:02,110
Look, don't pay no attention to her. We
need to rent a room.
129
00:21:02,390 --> 00:21:03,650
You got money on you?
130
00:21:03,870 --> 00:21:05,570
I'm a very wealthy woman.
131
00:21:05,890 --> 00:21:08,430
Yeah, and I'm Sybil Shepard.
132
00:21:08,950 --> 00:21:13,690
Come on in here. We might work something
out. That is if you got money.
133
00:21:22,570 --> 00:21:23,750
It's nice to meet you.
134
00:21:23,990 --> 00:21:26,470
I'm Griselda. Griselda Brown.
135
00:21:26,690 --> 00:21:28,410
I'm Peggy's psychiatric nurse.
136
00:21:28,990 --> 00:21:30,050
Room's out back.
137
00:21:30,290 --> 00:21:34,810
Nothing fancy, but it's a roof over your
head. Come on, I'll show you.
138
00:21:38,650 --> 00:21:41,250
Shh. A girlfriend's sleeping.
139
00:21:49,150 --> 00:21:51,030
Yeah, you're lucky it's empty.
140
00:21:51,690 --> 00:21:56,530
My last tenant shot himself in here last
night. That dumb fuck left a mess
141
00:21:56,530 --> 00:21:57,530
everywhere.
142
00:22:06,370 --> 00:22:13,010
Oh, damn it stinks in here.
143
00:22:14,110 --> 00:22:16,070
Well, what do you think? Do you want it
or not?
144
00:22:16,850 --> 00:22:18,170
Will he be removed?
145
00:22:18,690 --> 00:22:20,390
Yeah, I'll get the stiff out of here.
146
00:22:20,650 --> 00:22:23,820
Don't. Think I got time for all the
chores in the world.
147
00:22:24,480 --> 00:22:29,760
No linens until I soak these in cold
water, and we ain't got no toilets in
148
00:22:29,760 --> 00:22:30,760
Mortville.
149
00:22:31,340 --> 00:22:35,220
How do we... I guess you'll just have to
use your imagination.
150
00:22:35,740 --> 00:22:36,579
I see.
151
00:22:36,580 --> 00:22:39,280
I see. How much cash you got? Give me
that!
152
00:22:41,860 --> 00:22:44,440
Six bucks? Hey, you are a rich one.
153
00:22:44,760 --> 00:22:48,020
A lottery ticket? Well, I'll take that,
and I'll win it.
154
00:22:49,580 --> 00:22:51,260
What's this, a bank book?
155
00:22:51,460 --> 00:22:53,220
A lot of good that'll do you here.
156
00:22:53,420 --> 00:22:55,940
There aren't any banks in Mortville?
157
00:22:56,220 --> 00:22:58,720
There ain't nothing here, lady.
158
00:22:59,260 --> 00:23:03,400
Nobody's got one red cent in Mortville
except for that queen.
159
00:23:03,740 --> 00:23:04,740
The queen?
160
00:23:05,040 --> 00:23:09,800
Can she help us? You got a lot to learn
about living in Mortville.
161
00:23:10,220 --> 00:23:12,320
I think we'd like to take the room.
162
00:23:12,640 --> 00:23:14,220
It's all yours, sweetheart.
163
00:23:14,620 --> 00:23:15,499
You hungry?
164
00:23:15,500 --> 00:23:16,500
Yeah.
165
00:23:16,720 --> 00:23:19,660
I think I'm going to eat myself some
chow, and I got a little extra.
166
00:23:19,940 --> 00:23:24,280
Looks like you got a big appetite. I'd
be happy to help with the preparation.
167
00:23:24,960 --> 00:23:28,880
Oh, this one takes the cake.
168
00:23:35,100 --> 00:23:38,560
You both sure are ugly bitches.
169
00:23:39,000 --> 00:23:40,020
Go on, sit down.
170
00:23:40,460 --> 00:23:42,300
Hey, Muffy, we got company.
171
00:23:42,600 --> 00:23:45,720
We really hadn't planned on coming here.
172
00:23:46,410 --> 00:23:48,730
We're from the Guilford neighborhood in
Baltimore.
173
00:23:49,290 --> 00:23:51,130
I've been to Baltimore a few times.
174
00:23:51,430 --> 00:23:55,590
Bomberg, I hate it. All them hillbilly
fucks looking at you.
175
00:23:56,470 --> 00:24:01,290
Well, if you want to know the truth, we
had no choice but to come to Mortville.
176
00:24:01,730 --> 00:24:03,750
We're in a lot of trouble.
177
00:24:04,110 --> 00:24:09,970
You see, I'm quite prominent, and we
accidentally killed my husband.
178
00:24:10,170 --> 00:24:12,470
I don't care what you did.
179
00:24:12,710 --> 00:24:14,570
Nobody's in Mortville for a vacation.
180
00:24:14,950 --> 00:24:18,070
We all did... something or we wouldn't
be here in the first place.
181
00:24:19,550 --> 00:24:20,550
Dinner's served.
182
00:24:21,510 --> 00:24:23,290
I'm really not that hungry.
183
00:24:23,570 --> 00:24:26,890
I invited you to dinner and you
accepted.
184
00:24:27,270 --> 00:24:31,990
Now you'll eat this if I have to jam it
down your throat.
185
00:24:34,370 --> 00:24:38,610
Mafia, I called you to dinner. Do I have
to come in there and smack you?
186
00:24:40,210 --> 00:24:44,830
You don't have to shout the house down.
I heard you all right already.
187
00:24:46,510 --> 00:24:50,050
This is my girlfriend, Muffy St.
188
00:24:50,410 --> 00:24:54,490
Jacques, the most beautiful woman in all
of Mortville.
189
00:24:54,910 --> 00:24:55,910
Hi.
190
00:24:57,490 --> 00:25:02,450
This is Griselda, and I forget your
name.
191
00:25:02,970 --> 00:25:05,170
Peggy, Peggy Gravel. It's a pleasure.
192
00:25:05,770 --> 00:25:09,650
We rent the room out back, so I guess
we'll be neighbors.
193
00:25:10,130 --> 00:25:11,009
Oh, really?
194
00:25:11,010 --> 00:25:13,990
Well, I sleep in the room right next to
you.
195
00:25:15,920 --> 00:25:20,320
You're five minutes late for dinner,
Muffy. Don't you remember our little
196
00:25:20,320 --> 00:25:21,480
about your laziness?
197
00:25:22,600 --> 00:25:25,680
I was having an erotic dream.
198
00:25:26,680 --> 00:25:30,840
I warned you about thinking about men
before your afternoon nap.
199
00:25:31,120 --> 00:25:36,960
Dirty thoughts about dirty men bring on
dirty dreams, and you're a dirty girl,
200
00:25:37,260 --> 00:25:42,180
Muffy. Mole, I can't help what I think
about. After all, it's not my fault Mr.
201
00:25:42,380 --> 00:25:44,380
Sandman is not a bulldozer like you.
202
00:26:38,250 --> 00:26:42,050
Queen Carlotta, anything you say could
put you in front of the firing squad.
203
00:26:42,290 --> 00:26:44,110
Take it easy. We ain't fighting you.
204
00:26:44,350 --> 00:26:46,410
Help us. Please help us.
205
00:26:46,750 --> 00:26:47,750
Oh, don't worry.
206
00:26:47,890 --> 00:26:49,530
Standard procedure in Mortville.
207
00:26:49,950 --> 00:26:53,350
Officer, would you like to have a little
cup of gin or something? Stay back,
208
00:26:53,410 --> 00:26:54,410
peasant woman.
209
00:27:31,240 --> 00:27:32,660
Oh Griselda!
210
00:28:45,640 --> 00:28:48,700
the Honorable Queen Carlotta of
Mortville.
211
00:29:00,720 --> 00:29:07,320
Welcome to Mortville, ladies. I read in
the big city papers that you
212
00:29:07,320 --> 00:29:09,180
are wanted for murder.
213
00:29:09,580 --> 00:29:12,340
The murder of a certain Mr.
214
00:29:12,680 --> 00:29:17,880
Broccoli Gravel. We only... You are
interrupting my flow of power.
215
00:29:18,300 --> 00:29:23,280
Give these peasants a little dinner,
Lieutenant Wilson. I bet they're hungry
216
00:29:23,280 --> 00:29:25,840
after a long day of breaking laws.
217
00:29:26,340 --> 00:29:28,900
Here, nice live roaches. Oh, no, no.
218
00:29:29,220 --> 00:29:33,060
Come on, eat these fucking things. Come
on, eat them. Eat them.
219
00:29:33,780 --> 00:29:34,940
Eat them, goddamn.
220
00:29:35,340 --> 00:29:36,340
Eat them.
221
00:29:36,640 --> 00:29:38,740
Eat these things. Eat these roaches.
222
00:29:41,280 --> 00:29:44,320
That ain't right for you, too, honey.
Come on, eat them.
223
00:29:44,810 --> 00:29:47,830
Eat them. Follow those goddamn things.
Eat them.
224
00:29:49,190 --> 00:29:53,950
Now listen to me, riffraff.
225
00:29:54,450 --> 00:30:01,330
Every word I ever utter is to be taken
as a direct royal
226
00:30:01,330 --> 00:30:08,130
proclamation or face death by the firing
squad. Yes,
227
00:30:08,250 --> 00:30:09,250
ma 'am.
228
00:30:15,370 --> 00:30:17,450
Yes, your royal highness.
229
00:30:17,750 --> 00:30:19,530
Let's show them we're not kidding.
230
00:30:20,630 --> 00:30:23,110
Bring in the prisoner, Lieutenant
Wilson.
231
00:30:23,990 --> 00:30:30,970
Any last words, goon face?
232
00:30:31,730 --> 00:30:34,970
You can lick my royal hemorrhoids, you
fat pig.
233
00:30:54,060 --> 00:30:55,060
You must always...
234
00:31:37,250 --> 00:31:41,770
Majesty. And you, Mrs. Gravel,
murderess?
235
00:31:42,230 --> 00:31:45,070
You've made yourself quite clear.
236
00:31:45,850 --> 00:31:49,090
Your... Your Royal Majesty.
237
00:31:49,630 --> 00:31:50,630
Oh, be it!
238
00:31:51,030 --> 00:31:56,610
Lieutenant Williams, take them to our
ugly experts and give them a complete
239
00:31:56,610 --> 00:32:02,210
overhaul. And when you walk down the
streets of Mortville, make sure you're
240
00:32:02,210 --> 00:32:04,170
dressed like what you really are.
241
00:32:04,390 --> 00:32:05,390
Correct!
242
00:32:20,650 --> 00:32:23,870
duties of discipline ever over,
Lieutenant Wilson.
243
00:32:24,350 --> 00:32:28,030
Remove me from this contraption. I honor
you, Queen Carlotta.
244
00:32:28,910 --> 00:32:32,810
Yes, I know, I know. Get me into my
royal cot and be quick.
245
00:32:34,210 --> 00:32:38,130
Come on, come on. I haven't got all day.
Come on, hurry, hurry.
246
00:32:38,590 --> 00:32:39,590
Come on.
247
00:32:40,290 --> 00:32:41,530
Yes, come on.
248
00:32:41,730 --> 00:32:46,670
If it pleases the Queen, royal security
has reported that the Princess Cuckoo
249
00:32:46,670 --> 00:32:49,950
has returned to the castle. She's been
out all night again.
250
00:32:50,330 --> 00:32:51,710
with that garbage man.
251
00:32:51,930 --> 00:32:55,810
That child of mine will be the death of
me yet. Take me to her chambers.
252
00:32:56,010 --> 00:32:58,130
I honor you, Your Majesty. Be quick.
Come on. Let's go.
253
00:33:25,200 --> 00:33:26,200
Honor you, Your Majesty.
254
00:33:26,320 --> 00:33:28,620
Cuckoo, I must have a little talk with
you.
255
00:33:28,840 --> 00:33:32,120
Oh, leave me alone, Mommy. I've had a
wonderful evening, and I don't want to
256
00:33:32,120 --> 00:33:36,940
explore with your nosy nagging. A
wonderful evening with a garbage man?
257
00:33:37,420 --> 00:33:42,280
Not a garbage man. He just helps pick up
trash at the nudist colony. I hardly
258
00:33:42,280 --> 00:33:46,420
think that a nudist janitor is a proper
escort for a royal princess.
259
00:33:46,840 --> 00:33:50,840
I'm 38 years old, and I can date who I
please. You have no right to order me
260
00:33:50,840 --> 00:33:52,040
around like one of your subjects.
261
00:33:52,820 --> 00:33:56,580
You may not really... I realize it,
Cuckoo, but you have an awesome
262
00:33:56,580 --> 00:33:58,840
responsibility on your shoulders.
263
00:33:59,080 --> 00:34:05,420
One day, all Morphville will be yours,
and you must learn to rule with dignity.
264
00:34:06,360 --> 00:34:08,440
I don't want to be queen of anywhere.
265
00:34:08,820 --> 00:34:10,480
Mother, I want to marry Herbert.
266
00:34:10,780 --> 00:34:13,280
Herbert? Is that his name?
267
00:34:13,580 --> 00:34:14,980
It's a beautiful name.
268
00:34:15,440 --> 00:34:19,020
You would step down from your throne for
the love of a mutant?
269
00:34:19,360 --> 00:34:20,360
Oh, Mommy, I...
270
00:34:24,840 --> 00:34:25,840
you, Cuckoo.
271
00:34:26,020 --> 00:34:29,400
You're forbidden to leave your room
until your 40th birthday.
272
00:34:58,760 --> 00:34:59,760
Queen Carlotta?
273
00:34:59,780 --> 00:35:01,960
Can you make it, Your Highness?
274
00:35:02,340 --> 00:35:03,960
I suppose so.
275
00:35:04,580 --> 00:35:08,720
I believe it's your night to service me,
Lieutenant Wilson.
276
00:35:09,160 --> 00:35:11,440
I'm always eager, Your Highness.
277
00:35:11,980 --> 00:35:13,380
Oh, that love muscle.
278
00:35:13,740 --> 00:35:15,780
Whip it out and show it hard.
279
00:35:16,460 --> 00:35:20,380
Oh, come on, Daddy. Fuck me. Come on.
280
00:35:20,820 --> 00:35:25,200
Oh, glow, little inchworm. Oh, look at
those balls.
281
00:35:26,060 --> 00:35:28,040
Oh, Daddy, come on.
282
00:35:28,570 --> 00:35:30,310
Oh, look at that pelt.
283
00:35:30,670 --> 00:35:33,150
Yeah. Oh, come on.
284
00:35:33,490 --> 00:35:36,210
Oh, come on, Lieutenant. I haven't got
all night.
285
00:35:36,470 --> 00:35:37,229
Come on.
286
00:35:37,230 --> 00:35:38,230
Oh, come on.
287
00:35:38,570 --> 00:35:39,570
Oh,
288
00:35:39,790 --> 00:35:41,090
oh,
289
00:35:41,830 --> 00:35:42,830
oh,
290
00:35:43,070 --> 00:35:44,070
oh, oh.
291
00:35:45,050 --> 00:35:48,510
Don't bother with the head. The bay of
my crotch is what needs the attention.
292
00:35:49,030 --> 00:35:50,790
But I can fuck like a bandit, Your
Highness.
293
00:36:35,500 --> 00:36:42,160
Shut up, Peggy. No, I won't shut up. You
shut up. I'll tell you, my blue blood
294
00:36:42,160 --> 00:36:43,600
is about ready to boil.
295
00:36:43,920 --> 00:36:46,840
Hey, you listen to me, wacko.
296
00:36:47,060 --> 00:36:48,400
See this fist?
297
00:36:48,620 --> 00:36:52,600
I'm about ready to use that hatchet face
of yours as a punching bag.
298
00:36:52,900 --> 00:36:55,900
Now sit down and shut up.
299
00:36:56,280 --> 00:36:58,020
Mole's right, Peggy.
300
00:37:15,280 --> 00:37:19,660
one to hear it. Well, we can't all be
your psychiatrists, honey. We've got
301
00:37:19,660 --> 00:37:21,060
problems of our own.
302
00:37:21,320 --> 00:37:23,400
Well, why are you in Mortville?
303
00:37:23,820 --> 00:37:27,320
Oh, it's a long, ugly story.
304
00:37:27,860 --> 00:37:33,340
Go ahead, Muffy, tell her. Maybe she'd
stop feeling sorry for herself. I wasn't
305
00:37:33,340 --> 00:37:34,740
always like this.
306
00:37:35,040 --> 00:37:38,220
Oh, I mean, of course I was always
visually stunning.
307
00:37:39,020 --> 00:37:43,840
But I was married to a man, and I had a
baby named Freddy.
308
00:37:44,400 --> 00:37:49,740
It was about two years ago, and my
husband and I were just returning from a
309
00:37:49,740 --> 00:37:50,760
cocktail party.
310
00:37:55,380 --> 00:37:56,780
Let me drive.
311
00:37:57,000 --> 00:38:00,900
Get off. I can drive. Always trying to
boss me around.
312
00:38:01,280 --> 00:38:02,340
You're drunk.
313
00:38:02,740 --> 00:38:04,100
As per usual.
314
00:38:04,640 --> 00:38:07,940
Every time we step out of the house, you
get dead drunk.
315
00:38:08,260 --> 00:38:09,300
When you're married.
316
00:40:55,500 --> 00:40:58,660
crazy woman. You crazy woman. Open this
window.
317
00:40:58,920 --> 00:41:01,680
You crazy woman. You should be in a
mental hospital.
318
00:41:57,230 --> 00:42:00,990
And I'll tell you, it isn't very pretty
what a town without pity can do.
319
00:42:01,570 --> 00:42:07,030
What brought me here was a championship
wrestling match. It was back in 1966.
320
00:42:08,230 --> 00:42:11,470
And I was fighting under the name of
Rasslin' Rita.
321
00:42:11,750 --> 00:42:16,290
And my challenger was Big Jimmy Dong,
the human blockhead.
322
00:42:17,130 --> 00:42:18,130
Good evening.
323
00:45:00,490 --> 00:45:05,030
I've been here ever since, sitting in my
own stink and trying to figure a way
324
00:45:05,030 --> 00:45:06,030
out.
325
00:45:06,130 --> 00:45:08,690
But our luck's gonna be changing, right,
Muff?
326
00:46:51,400 --> 00:46:52,400
Yeah, of course.
327
00:48:39,180 --> 00:48:43,600
and walked backwards at all times.
Anyone who fails to perform for the
328
00:48:43,600 --> 00:48:45,520
will be immediately executed.
329
00:50:22,890 --> 00:50:23,890
Bertie, Bertie.
330
00:50:24,030 --> 00:50:29,130
I bet you flew all the way to Morseville
just to see Backward State, didn't you?
331
00:50:29,710 --> 00:50:34,110
Well, you flew into the right window
because I'm your queen.
332
00:50:35,150 --> 00:50:36,150
Yes.
333
00:50:36,970 --> 00:50:40,650
Excuse me, Your Highness, but Princess
Cuckoo has just escaped from her royal
334
00:50:40,650 --> 00:50:42,490
bedroom. She what?
335
00:50:58,280 --> 00:50:59,500
Let's hurry. Let's hurry.
336
00:51:02,760 --> 00:51:05,800
Come on. Let's go. Let's go. Come on.
337
00:51:06,440 --> 00:51:07,440
Come on.
338
00:51:07,780 --> 00:51:12,140
Come on, you big ape. Hurry up. Hurry
up. Come on.
339
00:51:14,320 --> 00:51:17,180
Why, that ungrateful little
whippersnapper.
340
00:51:17,420 --> 00:51:19,820
She escaped by sitting down this rope of
sheets.
341
00:52:46,990 --> 00:52:51,990
newspapers are contraband, but I sure
hope you do win. This town could stand a
342
00:52:51,990 --> 00:52:56,570
little glamour. I tell you, I'm getting
fed up. Ah, we're all fed up, Shina. At
343
00:52:56,570 --> 00:52:59,430
least you don't have to participate in
backwards day. I know.
344
00:53:21,260 --> 00:53:25,680
But I tell you, if you two are having an
affair, be careful. That queen will cut
345
00:53:25,680 --> 00:53:26,680
off your ears.
346
00:53:26,740 --> 00:53:30,460
Let her do it, then. Herbert doesn't
care if I have ears. He only cares about
347
00:53:30,460 --> 00:53:31,460
mind.
348
00:53:32,800 --> 00:53:34,040
Herbert! Cuckoo!
349
00:53:34,620 --> 00:53:36,560
Cuckoo! Oh, Cuckoo.
350
00:53:36,780 --> 00:53:39,340
I worship the ground you walk on.
351
00:53:39,800 --> 00:53:42,620
I couldn't keep my mind on my work all
morning.
352
00:53:43,220 --> 00:53:46,700
Every piece of trash I had to pick up
reminded me of you.
353
00:53:47,240 --> 00:53:48,600
An old candy wrapper.
354
00:53:49,200 --> 00:53:51,300
Made me think of how sweet you are.
355
00:53:51,760 --> 00:53:57,700
A snotty Kleenex made me realize how
much I'd cry if we ever had to part.
356
00:53:58,340 --> 00:54:04,040
An old rubber made me think of all the
Knights of Eros we have before us.
357
00:54:04,460 --> 00:54:06,220
I love you, Cuckoo.
358
00:54:06,540 --> 00:54:11,820
Oh, Herbert, I masturbated 14 times last
night just thinking of you. And when I
359
00:54:11,820 --> 00:54:15,060
finally did fall asleep, my dreams were
not exactly dry.
360
00:54:15,400 --> 00:54:16,760
Take me now, Herbert.
361
00:54:16,980 --> 00:54:18,620
Take me in front of the whole town.
362
00:58:45,520 --> 00:58:48,520
so jealous, she thinks the toilets I sit
on is her competition.
363
00:58:48,900 --> 00:58:51,200
Now, what can I do for you? Trying to
find today's paper.
364
00:58:51,480 --> 00:58:53,640
You got one, Chauncey? Yeah, yeah, I got
one.
365
01:01:46,990 --> 01:01:51,530
I thought she finds me. You obviously
belong in a mental hospital.
366
01:01:52,330 --> 01:01:54,770
Look who's calling the kettle black.
367
01:01:55,010 --> 01:01:56,110
She's just upset.
368
01:01:56,590 --> 01:02:02,890
Now be easy on her. I will not. I don't
want some renegade necrophile princess
369
01:02:02,890 --> 01:02:04,250
as my roommate.
370
01:02:04,530 --> 01:02:06,370
It's just for a few days.
371
01:02:06,650 --> 01:02:09,330
Don't be so selfish.
372
01:02:09,650 --> 01:02:12,550
Selfish? I'll show you selfish.
373
01:02:13,010 --> 01:02:14,590
Get out of here, mongrel.
374
01:04:28,259 --> 01:04:31,320
riffraff in and they bring the
neighborhood down every time.
375
01:04:31,760 --> 01:04:35,900
Look, baby, I've got to get my ass into
Baltimore to claim our money and do some
376
01:04:35,900 --> 01:04:38,640
shopping. Will you be all right while
I'm gone?
377
01:04:38,880 --> 01:04:41,820
Oh, sure, I'll be fine, but you be
careful.
378
01:04:42,320 --> 01:04:46,460
All right, then. Lock those doors and
don't fuck any men.
379
01:05:04,650 --> 01:05:05,650
I see France.
380
01:05:05,930 --> 01:05:08,310
Oh, spread those legs, baby.
381
01:05:09,050 --> 01:05:12,630
Oh, yes, siree, a Hollywood love.
382
01:05:12,870 --> 01:05:16,170
Come on, that love muscle, I want to see
it.
383
01:05:16,730 --> 01:05:20,810
Oh, come on over here with that thing.
384
01:05:25,150 --> 01:05:27,250
You're a wicked little boy.
385
01:05:27,550 --> 01:05:33,030
Getting me all heated up, aren't you?
I'm going to have to give you a
386
01:05:34,400 --> 01:05:36,400
bad little boy, haven't I, Your
Highness?
387
01:05:36,620 --> 01:05:37,640
You certainly have.
388
01:06:07,440 --> 01:06:09,400
Yes, please do.
389
01:06:09,620 --> 01:06:14,100
Your body has a certain odor about it
that always annoys me.
390
01:06:14,360 --> 01:06:15,660
An odor, Your Majesty?
391
01:06:15,980 --> 01:06:18,160
Yes, a wretched stench.
392
01:06:18,640 --> 01:06:22,940
I wash daily, Your Majesty. Well, wash
harder in the future.
393
01:06:23,280 --> 01:06:30,220
There is a noticeable odor zone
somewhere on your body, and I'd
394
01:06:30,220 --> 01:06:35,060
it if you could locate it and deodorize
it. I'll try and correct it, Your
395
01:06:35,060 --> 01:06:40,760
Majesty. Oh, we can't... I'll be
perfect, Lieutenant Grogan. Come on over
396
01:06:40,760 --> 01:06:42,580
and sit beside my feet.
397
01:06:42,800 --> 01:06:44,540
I honor you, Queen Carlotta.
398
01:06:45,560 --> 01:06:50,660
You honor me, but certain commoners in
this town obviously don't.
399
01:06:50,880 --> 01:06:53,720
Someone threw a mud ball at me today.
400
01:06:54,020 --> 01:06:59,660
If only I had a little pink button to
push that could wipe out this town.
401
01:07:00,420 --> 01:07:04,600
Tell me, is it possible to get me a
hydrogen bomb?
402
01:07:05,160 --> 01:07:06,540
I doubt it, Your Majesty.
403
01:07:07,260 --> 01:07:08,700
How about germ warfare?
404
01:07:09,060 --> 01:07:12,980
You know anything about that? You mean
poisoning the population?
405
01:07:13,780 --> 01:07:20,400
Yes, that sounds like a fun project. How
about rabies? Could we spread that
406
01:07:20,400 --> 01:07:22,180
disease inexpensively?
407
01:07:22,400 --> 01:07:27,860
I think so, Your Majesty. All we need is
some rabid bat pus to make a serum.
408
01:07:28,380 --> 01:07:34,820
Fine, let's try it. Rabid bat pus, and
let's put in a little rat piss for good
409
01:07:34,820 --> 01:07:36,420
luck. You're a...
410
01:07:36,720 --> 01:07:37,720
Your Majesty.
411
01:07:37,840 --> 01:07:38,718
I know.
412
01:07:38,720 --> 01:07:39,800
I know.
413
01:07:40,900 --> 01:07:42,760
You let me out of here, mummy!
414
01:07:43,100 --> 01:07:44,980
You murderous, you rat!
415
01:07:45,220 --> 01:07:46,480
Take him back!
416
01:07:54,000 --> 01:07:56,560
Back to the ground!
417
01:07:56,880 --> 01:08:00,420
What? What? What? Your Majesty, Herbert
the Garbage Man is dead.
418
01:08:00,660 --> 01:08:05,140
And thanks to this noble peasant woman,
we have captured Cuckoo and returned her
419
01:08:05,140 --> 01:08:06,140
to the castle.
420
01:08:45,770 --> 01:08:50,350
royal hogness, to once and for all be
freed from this mockery of a monarchy.
421
01:08:50,710 --> 01:08:56,149
I will never live down the shame of my
inherited name, but I will do my best to
422
01:08:56,149 --> 01:08:58,149
see that you topple from the throne.
423
01:09:28,179 --> 01:09:31,819
Loyalty to the queen sometimes results
in rewards.
424
01:09:32,160 --> 01:09:35,040
Let me be the new princess, your
majesty.
425
01:09:35,520 --> 01:09:42,279
I have seen the human trash of
Mortville, and I share your contempt for
426
01:09:42,279 --> 01:09:47,920
town. My subjects are beneath contempt,
Mrs. Gravel. Dealing with the poor
427
01:09:47,920 --> 01:09:52,020
people is a waste of time. Only the rich
should be allowed to live.
428
01:09:52,399 --> 01:09:56,860
I like your politics, Mrs. Gravel. And
to tell the truth...
429
01:09:57,260 --> 01:10:00,320
I need a woman like yourself to follow
in my footsteps.
430
01:10:00,800 --> 01:10:07,080
If you looked all over this land, Your
Majesty, I doubt you'd find a woman as
431
01:10:07,080 --> 01:10:08,320
vicious as I.
432
01:10:08,740 --> 01:10:10,560
We'll give you a trial run.
433
01:10:10,900 --> 01:10:17,700
Your first duty will be to help my
soldiers spread rabies to everyone in
434
01:10:17,900 --> 01:10:19,900
Do you think you can handle that?
435
01:10:20,400 --> 01:10:22,800
Oh, yes, Your Majesty.
436
01:10:23,080 --> 01:10:28,210
And I know just the person I... want to
give it to first.
437
01:11:16,650 --> 01:11:21,650
Dr. Romy Singer, Dr. Romy Singer, Dr.
Kate Purcell, Dr. Purcell, Dr. Dennis
438
01:11:21,650 --> 01:11:23,070
Shumetta, Dr. Shumetta.
439
01:11:38,310 --> 01:11:39,830
May I help you?
440
01:11:40,390 --> 01:11:42,550
Yeah, I want a sex change.
441
01:11:43,800 --> 01:11:45,340
Step over here, please.
442
01:11:45,820 --> 01:11:50,560
Hey, look, I'm in a rush, so I'd
appreciate it if you took me before
443
01:11:50,560 --> 01:11:51,560
turkeys.
444
01:11:52,080 --> 01:11:54,260
Do you have an appointment?
445
01:11:54,760 --> 01:12:00,600
No, I don't. I'm sorry, but we don't see
anyone here without an appointment.
446
01:12:00,940 --> 01:12:02,900
Well, you do now, Nurse Nancy.
447
01:12:03,580 --> 01:12:06,380
Come on, bitch, cut these tits off.
448
01:12:22,800 --> 01:12:24,020
and I want it now.
449
01:12:24,540 --> 01:12:27,640
I'm out in the sex chain. It's a long,
complicated process.
450
01:12:27,960 --> 01:12:31,820
We just can't... Just give me the basis
or I'll cut her head off.
451
01:12:32,120 --> 01:12:36,180
Look, why don't you just fill out the
necessary forms and we'll see if... Cut
452
01:12:36,180 --> 01:12:41,040
the sermons and give me my wing. I want
a wing and I want it now.
453
01:12:41,520 --> 01:12:45,560
I can only do just so much under the
circumstances. If you don't give me the
454
01:12:45,560 --> 01:12:46,560
sex...
455
01:13:03,690 --> 01:13:04,690
when the Maryland...
456
01:18:02,190 --> 01:18:03,310
Doctor ordered.
457
01:18:07,810 --> 01:18:10,310
That ought to give it a little kick.
458
01:18:13,950 --> 01:18:20,290
Cougs! Bring in Princess Cuckoo and tell
her her medicine's ready. Get off here
459
01:18:20,290 --> 01:18:24,590
with those semen -stained hands, you big
ape. I can walk by myself.
460
01:18:33,410 --> 01:18:39,190
You ass -kissing little snitch. One day
I'll get my hands on you. I doubt you'll
461
01:18:39,190 --> 01:18:44,310
have the time, for you are now the
president.
462
01:20:46,730 --> 01:20:51,290
Times have got to tell you, men are
genetic rejects. And all that gristle
463
01:20:51,290 --> 01:20:54,850
got hanging down between their legs was
God's first big mistake.
464
01:20:55,130 --> 01:20:57,990
And us women have been paying for it
ever since.
465
01:20:58,650 --> 01:21:02,270
What is she doing in my home anyway?
466
01:21:02,950 --> 01:21:05,510
Oh, be easy on her, Mo. She's been
through hell.
467
01:21:05,810 --> 01:21:09,170
When we found her, she was regurgitating
in the street.
468
01:21:09,390 --> 01:21:13,830
Yeah, her mother, the hog, had her gang
raped. The poor things had a terrible
469
01:21:13,830 --> 01:21:19,150
time. You know that gravel woman you
were hanging out with? Well, she works
470
01:21:19,150 --> 01:21:20,150
the queen now.
471
01:21:20,230 --> 01:21:22,850
She shot Cuckoo up with a rabies potion.
472
01:21:23,730 --> 01:21:25,470
I'm not surprised.
473
01:21:25,810 --> 01:21:31,090
That snotty little social climber. I
knew I should have fractured her skull.
474
01:21:31,410 --> 01:21:34,930
Can I get you anything, Cuckoo? Are you
infectious, honey?
475
01:21:35,230 --> 01:21:36,230
I don't know.
476
01:21:36,570 --> 01:21:37,570
Much love.
477
01:21:41,550 --> 01:21:45,710
Well, under the circumstances, we'll
have to ask you to refrain from using
478
01:21:45,710 --> 01:21:47,090
kitchen utensils.
479
01:21:47,330 --> 01:21:49,430
I won't breathe on anything.
480
01:21:49,910 --> 01:21:51,070
I promise.
481
01:21:51,390 --> 01:21:56,530
But please help me kill my mother.
482
01:21:57,810 --> 01:22:03,570
How's Project Rabies coming along,
Peggy? Oh, I feel just like Jonas Salk.
483
01:22:04,010 --> 01:22:08,570
Tomorrow is the first day of mass
immunization. Or at least that's what
484
01:22:08,570 --> 01:22:09,570
morons...
485
01:22:10,030 --> 01:22:14,190
Oh, won't it be funny when they start
collapsing on the street?
486
01:22:14,450 --> 01:22:17,250
It'll be like walking through a human
sewer.
487
01:22:17,830 --> 01:22:23,630
Oh, I hope I get a chance to kick every
one of them right in the head just as
488
01:22:23,630 --> 01:22:25,550
they gasp for their last breath.
489
01:22:25,890 --> 01:22:26,970
It'll be beautiful.
490
01:22:27,250 --> 01:22:30,190
A symphony of death rattles.
491
01:22:30,550 --> 01:22:34,270
History will not forget this holiday of
death.
492
01:22:57,520 --> 01:22:59,260
Just looking for a little fun.
493
01:23:00,120 --> 01:23:04,200
Can I come up and see the inside of your
bedroom?
494
01:23:09,900 --> 01:23:14,240
Hmm, I've had a hard -on for this bitch
for a long time.
495
01:23:15,660 --> 01:23:19,600
You know you horny pigs aren't supposed
to come cruising around a castle.
496
01:23:20,080 --> 01:23:23,720
Oh, but, officer, you're so cute, I just
couldn't resist.
497
01:23:24,220 --> 01:23:26,640
Oh, you're shaking, little mama, aren't
you?
38663
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