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1
00:00:00,583 --> 00:00:02,916
[Kevin] Nothing like a lazy
Sunday morning, right?
2
00:00:03,791 --> 00:00:06,541
Is it Sunday?
I-I don't know what day it is.
3
00:00:06,625 --> 00:00:10,166
[laughs] Oh, Robert Mitchum's balls
couldn't have been that big.
4
00:00:10,250 --> 00:00:11,916
[Judy] I'm reading, too.
5
00:00:12,000 --> 00:00:15,375
Long drip, long drip, short drip?
6
00:00:15,458 --> 00:00:17,666
How do they come up with this stuff?
7
00:00:17,750 --> 00:00:19,041
You're breathing in mold, Judy.
8
00:00:19,125 --> 00:00:20,416
-[rumbling]
-Whoa!
9
00:00:20,500 --> 00:00:21,541
[yowls]
10
00:00:21,625 --> 00:00:22,625
-An earthquake?
-[clattering]
11
00:00:22,708 --> 00:00:24,916
But my pour-over hasn't fully bloomed yet.
12
00:00:25,000 --> 00:00:26,833
Is it too late to pack a go bag?
13
00:00:26,916 --> 00:00:28,791
[kittens clamoring]
14
00:00:28,875 --> 00:00:30,625
Oh, no!
15
00:00:30,708 --> 00:00:33,666
Look alive, y'all. It's kitten season.
16
00:00:33,750 --> 00:00:35,375
-[Cupcake] Isn't it beautiful, Kev?
-[air horn blares]
17
00:00:35,458 --> 00:00:38,791
All the feral cats in New York
raw-dogged each other,
18
00:00:38,875 --> 00:00:41,333
and these are the babies.
19
00:00:41,416 --> 00:00:42,750
Yeah, I know how sex works.
20
00:00:42,833 --> 00:00:44,541
-Could've fooled me.
-[pained gasp]
21
00:00:44,625 --> 00:00:46,041
-[kittens chanting] Shred! Shred! Shred!
-[Armando] Hey, hey.
22
00:00:46,125 --> 00:00:48,250
Get off my book, you delinquents.
23
00:00:48,333 --> 00:00:49,750
Goddamn it.
24
00:00:49,833 --> 00:00:53,958
Now I'm never gonna find out what
Shirley MacLaine did with those big balls.
25
00:00:54,041 --> 00:00:56,416
-[kittens chanting] Tyler! Tyler! Tyler!
-No, no, no, Tyler.
26
00:00:56,500 --> 00:00:58,375
-Listen up, team.
-[air horns blaring]
27
00:00:58,458 --> 00:01:00,750
Until these cutie patooties get adopted,
28
00:01:00,833 --> 00:01:03,958
it's our job to keep them away
from anything dangerous.
29
00:01:04,041 --> 00:01:05,958
-[air hissing]
-No stairs, no basement,
30
00:01:06,041 --> 00:01:08,583
and especially no dryer.
31
00:01:08,666 --> 00:01:10,250
It's bad for business if Yelp says
32
00:01:10,333 --> 00:01:12,291
a bunch of kittens
got Chernobyled in our Maytag.
33
00:01:12,375 --> 00:01:15,583
One went in the microwave last year,
and this kitchen still don't smell right.
34
00:01:15,666 --> 00:01:16,833
-Oh, God.
-[microwave bell dings]
35
00:01:16,916 --> 00:01:18,458
Cheat day.
36
00:01:19,166 --> 00:01:21,958
-[gasps] Oh, no, they shrunk everyone.
-[laughing]
37
00:01:22,041 --> 00:01:24,625
[gasps] Or maybe I got turned big?
38
00:01:24,708 --> 00:01:26,666
They're kittens, Judy. It's kitten season.
39
00:01:26,750 --> 00:01:29,041
A whole season just for me?
40
00:01:29,125 --> 00:01:31,750
Aw, honey, you're not
a new kitten anymore.
41
00:01:31,833 --> 00:01:33,958
You're part of last year's collection.
42
00:01:34,041 --> 00:01:35,708
-I am?
-Yep.
43
00:01:35,791 --> 00:01:37,625
One day you're a hot new item,
44
00:01:37,708 --> 00:01:41,375
and before you know it,
you're trash out on the curb.
45
00:01:41,458 --> 00:01:42,958
Like me and Kevin.
46
00:01:43,041 --> 00:01:44,416
Hey, I'm not trash.
47
00:01:44,500 --> 00:01:45,958
It's like Seth said.
48
00:01:46,041 --> 00:01:48,000
These guys need someone
to watch out for them.
49
00:01:48,083 --> 00:01:49,958
Like a cool older brother.
50
00:01:50,041 --> 00:01:52,750
Someone to teach them
about important bands like Pavement
51
00:01:52,833 --> 00:01:54,000
and how to roll a doobie.
52
00:01:54,083 --> 00:01:56,958
And I can teach them
how to draw a hand turkey.
53
00:01:57,041 --> 00:01:58,375
[hushed] The secret is tracing.
54
00:01:58,458 --> 00:02:01,333
Uh-oh! Tyler's back at it!
55
00:02:01,416 --> 00:02:04,125
I don't miss my mom!
56
00:02:04,208 --> 00:02:06,083
[kittens cheering]
57
00:02:06,166 --> 00:02:07,708
Nice move, Tyler.
58
00:02:07,791 --> 00:02:09,333
Critical rizz flaw, though.
59
00:02:09,416 --> 00:02:12,500
You didn't make sure
enough honeys were watching.
60
00:02:12,583 --> 00:02:14,541
Honeys are... honeys are girls.
61
00:02:14,625 --> 00:02:16,916
Shut the fuck up, virgin.
62
00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:21,708
? I'm coming home, I'm coming home ?
63
00:02:21,791 --> 00:02:25,083
? Ooh ?
64
00:02:25,166 --> 00:02:29,625
? I'm coming home, I'm coming home ?
65
00:02:29,708 --> 00:02:32,416
? Ooh ?
66
00:02:32,500 --> 00:02:34,291
? I'm coming home ?
67
00:02:34,375 --> 00:02:38,041
? I'm coming home, but I'm gonna roam ?
68
00:02:38,125 --> 00:02:40,333
? out on my own ?
69
00:02:41,750 --> 00:02:43,541
? Till you're home with me ??
70
00:02:43,625 --> 00:02:45,250
[Kevin] I'm Kevin.
71
00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:50,541
Yum, yum. This doggy loves dog food.
72
00:02:50,625 --> 00:02:52,125
I am dog.
73
00:02:52,208 --> 00:02:54,250
You can drop the act with me.
74
00:02:54,333 --> 00:02:55,833
Is not act.
75
00:02:55,916 --> 00:02:57,583
Is... acting.
76
00:02:57,666 --> 00:03:00,875
Armando... I have huge news.
77
00:03:00,958 --> 00:03:03,250
Is Madonna doing stand-up again?
78
00:03:03,333 --> 00:03:09,500
No. Me and the Central Park Neigh-ers
want you to direct our next production.
79
00:03:09,583 --> 00:03:11,583
Pass. You know I'm retired.
80
00:03:11,666 --> 00:03:16,125
And I'm not returning
for your shitty all-horse theater troupe.
81
00:03:16,208 --> 00:03:19,916
Why you do that? Why you retire
from best business, business of show?
82
00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:22,791
I can tell you in one word:
83
00:03:22,875 --> 00:03:23,916
Patti.
84
00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:25,625
[old-fashioned instrumental music playing]
85
00:03:25,708 --> 00:03:29,583
From the moment she turned up,
she was an undeniable talent.
86
00:03:29,666 --> 00:03:32,250
Oh, and together, we made Broadway magic.
87
00:03:32,333 --> 00:03:35,791
-[applause and cheering]
-But then... things took a turn.
88
00:03:35,875 --> 00:03:38,666
-[viewers gasping]
-Patti stopped taking direction, poisoned
89
00:03:38,750 --> 00:03:42,291
the crew against me,
and made my life a living hell.
90
00:03:42,375 --> 00:03:45,125
The theater just wasn't big enough
for the both of us, so I left
91
00:03:45,208 --> 00:03:47,125
and never stepped foot on a stage again.
92
00:03:47,208 --> 00:03:48,750
But Patti?
93
00:03:48,833 --> 00:03:50,958
She became its biggest star.
94
00:03:51,041 --> 00:03:52,666
[Faye] Okay, guess we'll have
95
00:03:52,750 --> 00:03:54,583
to find someone else to direct...
96
00:03:54,666 --> 00:03:56,541
? Mame! ??
97
00:03:56,625 --> 00:03:59,208
[gasps]
Mame?! You got the rights to Mame?!
98
00:03:59,291 --> 00:04:02,375
I've wanted to get my paws
on Mame for ages.
99
00:04:02,458 --> 00:04:03,875
What is this Mame?
100
00:04:03,958 --> 00:04:06,083
Mame is a beloved American musical
101
00:04:06,166 --> 00:04:10,041
about a fun-loving, bohemian aunt who
teaches her orphaned nephew how to live.
102
00:04:10,125 --> 00:04:12,500
-Thank you.
-Well, I can't pass this up.
103
00:04:12,583 --> 00:04:15,916
I'm in! But let's get one thing straight.
104
00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:19,541
It's my show, and I call the shots.
105
00:04:19,625 --> 00:04:21,207
Oh, my God, of course!
106
00:04:21,291 --> 00:04:23,541
Now I know I read
as more of an Agnes Gooch.
107
00:04:23,625 --> 00:04:25,500
But can I please play Auntie Mame?
108
00:04:25,582 --> 00:04:27,457
Please, please, please. Please!
109
00:04:27,541 --> 00:04:29,666
Would you be willing to drop 300 pounds?
110
00:04:29,750 --> 00:04:32,750
-I'm on Mounjaro.
-Double it.
111
00:04:32,832 --> 00:04:34,791
-[upbeat pop music playing]
-[air horn blowing]
112
00:04:34,875 --> 00:04:37,332
Aw, look at those little nerds.
113
00:04:37,416 --> 00:04:39,041
Everyone else is having a blast.
114
00:04:39,125 --> 00:04:41,000
We got to show them how
to have a good time.
115
00:04:41,082 --> 00:04:44,582
I'm gonna teach them
how to do a somersault.
116
00:04:44,666 --> 00:04:45,916
Aah!
117
00:04:46,000 --> 00:04:47,582
Oopsies.
118
00:04:47,666 --> 00:04:50,375
Hang tight, Judy.
I'll go get a bike pump or something.
119
00:04:50,457 --> 00:04:53,291
Hey, hey! What's good? I'm Kevin.
120
00:04:53,375 --> 00:04:54,582
Um, we doing shots?
121
00:04:54,666 --> 00:04:57,250
J�ger, Fireball, Friskies Sour?
122
00:04:57,332 --> 00:04:59,666
That's bourbon with kibble floating in it.
123
00:04:59,750 --> 00:05:01,291
Oh, no thank you.
124
00:05:01,375 --> 00:05:02,833
Alcohol is so bad for you.
125
00:05:02,916 --> 00:05:04,625
-Yeah, poison.
-So bad.
126
00:05:04,708 --> 00:05:06,333
-We just do coke and Molly.
-Oh, yeah.
127
00:05:06,416 --> 00:05:07,791
-Me, too.
-[cat groans]
128
00:05:07,875 --> 00:05:11,916
Let's sit by the pool. You dudes aren't
catching any rays over here in the shade.
129
00:05:12,000 --> 00:05:13,875
The sun is literally sky cancer.
130
00:05:13,958 --> 00:05:15,958
-So toxic.
-So hot.
131
00:05:16,041 --> 00:05:17,416
Hi! I'm Judy!
132
00:05:17,500 --> 00:05:21,291
I want to hug you all "hello,"
but my eczema is extra flaky today.
133
00:05:21,375 --> 00:05:23,541
-[laughter]
-I love this cat.
134
00:05:23,625 --> 00:05:26,041
-You do?
-That was so authentic and unfiltered.
135
00:05:26,125 --> 00:05:27,875
-Authentic.
-Unfiltered.
136
00:05:27,957 --> 00:05:30,832
You know, if you like gross stuff,
you should really check out my butthole.
137
00:05:30,916 --> 00:05:33,541
-It's misshapen because of my brother.
-[Dana] Kevin!
138
00:05:33,625 --> 00:05:35,750
Wow. It's so good to see you make friends.
139
00:05:35,832 --> 00:05:38,125
He used to lick himself raw
if he even saw another cat.
140
00:05:38,207 --> 00:05:41,166
Dana. What are you doing here?
141
00:05:41,250 --> 00:05:45,875
Uh, the rescue posted a story
about needing volunteers, so, surprise!
142
00:05:45,957 --> 00:05:48,207
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
143
00:05:48,291 --> 00:05:49,916
I told you I needed space.
144
00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:52,625
And you got some space. [scoffs]
145
00:05:52,707 --> 00:05:56,082
And I guess I just thought
this volunteering thing might be like a--
146
00:05:56,166 --> 00:05:58,582
I don't know--
a chill way for us to hang out?
147
00:05:58,666 --> 00:06:00,125
Well, you thought wrong!
148
00:06:00,208 --> 00:06:03,750
And showing up at my new home unannounced
is wildly inappropriate!
149
00:06:03,833 --> 00:06:05,958
Yeah, this seems kind of private.
150
00:06:06,041 --> 00:06:07,250
-Bye, Judy!
-Bye, Calvin.
151
00:06:07,333 --> 00:06:09,500
I'll-I'll catch up with you later!
152
00:06:09,583 --> 00:06:11,541
I might do a screening
of, uh, Reservoir Dogs.
153
00:06:11,625 --> 00:06:14,625
Goddamn it, Dana!
You're fucking up my shit!
154
00:06:14,708 --> 00:06:17,707
Hey, volunteer,
stop standing around and get to work!
155
00:06:17,791 --> 00:06:19,291
What's your problem, yappy little gremlin?
156
00:06:19,375 --> 00:06:22,250
You can't say "yappy"! That is our word!
157
00:06:22,332 --> 00:06:24,000
-Ow!
-Now, let's go! That was a warning bite.
158
00:06:24,082 --> 00:06:26,166
-Ow!
-Next time, I'm gonna break the skin.
159
00:06:26,250 --> 00:06:28,875
Ooh. A Popsicle with no stick!
160
00:06:30,082 --> 00:06:33,332
Yum! It tastes like nicotine!
161
00:06:33,416 --> 00:06:34,832
[groaning]
162
00:06:34,916 --> 00:06:36,332
[plop on sidewalk]
163
00:06:36,416 --> 00:06:38,500
Okay, young lady,
I think that's all of it.
164
00:06:38,582 --> 00:06:40,875
-[stomach grumbling]
-Oh, wait. No, it's not.
165
00:06:40,957 --> 00:06:42,082
-Aah. Aah!
-[groaning]
166
00:06:42,166 --> 00:06:43,791
-And you need me...
-Oh.
167
00:06:43,875 --> 00:06:46,457
...to take a picture of this
and email it to your internist?
168
00:06:46,541 --> 00:06:48,875
You got to fax it!
169
00:06:48,957 --> 00:06:50,957
Hmm.
170
00:06:51,041 --> 00:06:52,457
"Gantron."
171
00:06:52,541 --> 00:06:54,500
Now, that's a good kitten name.
172
00:06:54,582 --> 00:06:57,957
I've earned myself another nap
on this shelf. [sighs]
173
00:06:58,041 --> 00:06:59,666
-[Seth] Brandi? My sweet cream puff?
-[gasps]
174
00:06:59,750 --> 00:07:02,000
I'm... I'm afraid I have some bad news.
175
00:07:02,083 --> 00:07:03,625
Do we already got too many Gantrons?
176
00:07:03,708 --> 00:07:05,541
No. It appears the vet we booked
177
00:07:05,625 --> 00:07:08,708
for our kitten spay-and-neuter clinic
today canceled.
178
00:07:08,791 --> 00:07:10,916
-What?!
-She had an emergency.
179
00:07:11,000 --> 00:07:13,708
She said she "had to go
to the Times Square Hershey's store
180
00:07:13,791 --> 00:07:15,750
to try the new giant peanut butter cup."
181
00:07:15,833 --> 00:07:19,500
But we can't move no merchandise
if the merchandise still got gonads.
182
00:07:19,582 --> 00:07:22,666
We need to hack them sacks!
183
00:07:22,750 --> 00:07:25,000
I don't think
you're understanding the situation.
184
00:07:25,082 --> 00:07:28,416
-The peanut butter cup is really big.
-Ugh.
185
00:07:28,500 --> 00:07:29,875
-You know, if you need...
-[Seth gasps]
186
00:07:29,957 --> 00:07:31,707
...some snippin' and clippin',
I'm your cat.
187
00:07:31,791 --> 00:07:34,500
I spent 18 months as a vet tech in Brazil.
188
00:07:34,582 --> 00:07:36,707
-[upbeat, samba music playing]
-It was 2016,
189
00:07:36,791 --> 00:07:39,041
and Olympic fever had descended upon Rio.
190
00:07:39,125 --> 00:07:40,582
[Brandi] I don't care
about any of that shit!
191
00:07:40,666 --> 00:07:43,832
This is America!
And these are American gonads!
192
00:07:43,916 --> 00:07:45,416
I see how it is.
193
00:07:45,707 --> 00:07:47,207
[speaks Portuguese]
Your loss!
194
00:07:47,291 --> 00:07:48,707
I don't know, Brandi.
195
00:07:48,791 --> 00:07:50,957
I believe in Cupcake.
196
00:07:51,041 --> 00:07:52,625
Maybe we should give her a chance.
197
00:07:52,707 --> 00:07:54,582
It's only major surgery.
198
00:07:54,666 --> 00:07:57,041
[sighs]
Okay. Fine.
199
00:07:57,125 --> 00:07:59,166
-Huzzah!
-But if this thing goes tits up,
200
00:07:59,250 --> 00:08:01,458
it's your flat ass on the line!
201
00:08:01,541 --> 00:08:05,833
Uh, now, sweetie, Devorah says my flat ass
is off limits during arguments.
202
00:08:05,916 --> 00:08:07,250
Well, fuck Devorah!
203
00:08:07,333 --> 00:08:09,875
I don't trust no shrink
who don't go to church!
204
00:08:09,958 --> 00:08:11,333
-[upbeat pop music playing]
-[Kevin] Okay.
205
00:08:11,416 --> 00:08:13,000
Now that Dana's not here
to fuck things up,
206
00:08:13,083 --> 00:08:14,958
I can get back
to helping those poor little nerds.
207
00:08:15,041 --> 00:08:16,457
Oh, shit.
208
00:08:16,541 --> 00:08:19,416
-Is that Charles Melton?
-[Judy gasps] I saw him
209
00:08:19,500 --> 00:08:21,166
on The Drew Barrymore Show!
210
00:08:21,250 --> 00:08:22,666
Oh, no, they're probably
211
00:08:22,750 --> 00:08:25,375
annoying the shit out of him,
asking him for selfies.
212
00:08:25,457 --> 00:08:27,625
The Drew Barrymore Show
is the only show I watch.
213
00:08:27,707 --> 00:08:29,666
It's on at the doctor.
214
00:08:29,750 --> 00:08:31,291
Charles! Melton.
215
00:08:31,375 --> 00:08:34,207
Sorry if the kiddos are
hounding ya here, Charles... Melton.
216
00:08:34,290 --> 00:08:37,375
Uh... yeah, no. Yeah, they're not.
217
00:08:37,457 --> 00:08:38,875
You can't blame 'em, right?
218
00:08:38,957 --> 00:08:40,500
They've never been around
an award-winning actor.
219
00:08:40,582 --> 00:08:42,250
Or an award-nominated.
220
00:08:42,332 --> 00:08:44,458
Well, you should have been nominated.
For an Oscar.
221
00:08:44,540 --> 00:08:45,750
Gosh, that must have been...
222
00:08:45,833 --> 00:08:47,083
-That must have been heartbreaking.
-[Nina] Wait.
223
00:08:47,165 --> 00:08:49,833
-You're an actor?
-Yeah. But it's just my job.
224
00:08:49,915 --> 00:08:51,290
It's not who I am.
225
00:08:51,375 --> 00:08:52,915
We were talking about recycling.
226
00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:55,458
I mean, does it even make a difference,
or is it just theater?
227
00:08:55,540 --> 00:08:58,625
Yeah, my friend KJ told me
it all just goes to the dump.
228
00:08:58,708 --> 00:09:00,625
What are we supposed to even do?
229
00:09:00,708 --> 00:09:02,000
-Sad.
-Quandry.
230
00:09:02,083 --> 00:09:03,958
I think the question isn't,
"What do I do?"
231
00:09:04,041 --> 00:09:07,541
It's "Why has it been left to me,
the individual, to decide,
232
00:09:07,625 --> 00:09:10,750
-while corporations do nothing?"
-[Charles] Wow.
233
00:09:10,833 --> 00:09:12,291
-Wow, wow, wow.
-Where the hell did that come from?
234
00:09:12,375 --> 00:09:14,541
That was... so insightful.
What's your name?
235
00:09:14,625 --> 00:09:16,250
[laughing] I forgot.
236
00:09:16,333 --> 00:09:17,500
She's Mother!
237
00:09:17,583 --> 00:09:19,291
Yes. Judy is Mother!
238
00:09:19,375 --> 00:09:20,750
Mother is mothering.
239
00:09:20,833 --> 00:09:23,708
Okay, Judy is Mother,
but I'm Big Broseph, right?
240
00:09:23,791 --> 00:09:26,750
I can score you some nudie magazines,
get you some cigarettes.
241
00:09:26,833 --> 00:09:29,541
Hey, that's not cool.
My friend OD'd last month.
242
00:09:29,625 --> 00:09:32,333
-On cigarettes?
-Aw. That's terrible.
243
00:09:32,415 --> 00:09:35,415
[sighs] I give up.
I don't... I don't understand you guys.
244
00:09:35,500 --> 00:09:36,875
I'm sorry. Come on, Judy. Let's go.
245
00:09:36,958 --> 00:09:38,290
Wait! No! Don't go!
246
00:09:38,375 --> 00:09:39,540
You want me to stay?
247
00:09:39,625 --> 00:09:41,000
We meant Judy.
248
00:09:41,083 --> 00:09:43,000
You want to be my friend?
249
00:09:43,083 --> 00:09:45,040
Yeah, girl. You're Mother.
250
00:09:45,125 --> 00:09:48,083
I actually can't be a mother
because my uterus is in my foot.
251
00:09:48,165 --> 00:09:51,208
-[pulsing]
-Major Mother vibes.
252
00:09:51,290 --> 00:09:53,000
Okay, I'm-I'm done. I'm out.
253
00:09:53,083 --> 00:09:54,625
Hmm. Let's see.
254
00:09:54,708 --> 00:09:56,833
Cute kitten names.
255
00:09:56,915 --> 00:09:59,333
Zezozose Zadfrack Glutz!
256
00:09:59,415 --> 00:10:02,125
[chuckles] I bet nobody's come up
with that one before.
257
00:10:02,208 --> 00:10:04,000
-Hey, Brandi.
-Oh, what now?
258
00:10:04,083 --> 00:10:07,083
Did one of those little idiot kittens
split his skull open in my dryer?
259
00:10:07,166 --> 00:10:09,583
I don't know.
I came here to reconnect with Kevin,
260
00:10:09,666 --> 00:10:13,166
but you've got me wrist-deep
in some old dog's watery shit.
261
00:10:13,250 --> 00:10:15,291
Let's get something straight, sister.
262
00:10:15,375 --> 00:10:17,000
You work for me now.
263
00:10:17,083 --> 00:10:20,208
And if you don't do what I say,
I'm calling the cops.
264
00:10:20,291 --> 00:10:22,708
And trust me, I love calling the cops.
265
00:10:22,791 --> 00:10:24,125
I bet you do, fascist.
266
00:10:24,208 --> 00:10:25,458
Fuck you, Gap Outlet!
267
00:10:25,541 --> 00:10:26,750
Fuck you, ratchet Snoopy!
268
00:10:26,833 --> 00:10:28,666
Oh! You're a feisty one.
269
00:10:28,750 --> 00:10:29,958
Maybe I like you.
270
00:10:30,041 --> 00:10:31,916
Somebody to match my freak.
271
00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:34,458
Sit down and help me do names.
272
00:10:34,540 --> 00:10:36,375
If I "do names," can I go talk to Kevin?
273
00:10:36,458 --> 00:10:37,583
Deal! Ha!
274
00:10:37,665 --> 00:10:39,958
I'm a good girl who's good at deals.
275
00:10:40,040 --> 00:10:41,458
Yeah, so...
276
00:10:41,540 --> 00:10:44,665
I'm pretty sure
that "Zezozose Zadfrack Glutz"
277
00:10:44,750 --> 00:10:47,165
is what the Manson Family
named one of their kids.
278
00:10:47,250 --> 00:10:52,000
Goddamn it! I am so sick of having
parallel thinking with Charles Manson!
279
00:10:52,083 --> 00:10:53,500
-? La, la, la, la-la, la, la ?
-Red leather, yellow leather.
280
00:10:53,583 --> 00:10:56,250
-? La-la, la-la, la, la-la, la, la, la ?
-Red leather, yellow leather.
281
00:10:56,333 --> 00:10:58,000
? Rubber baby, baby bumpers ??
282
00:10:58,083 --> 00:10:59,458
[singing scales]
283
00:10:59,540 --> 00:11:01,625
? Horse ?? Aah!
284
00:11:01,708 --> 00:11:03,750
-Ow. Ow. Ooh, ow. Ooh, ow.
-[singing continues]
285
00:11:03,833 --> 00:11:05,958
Dimitri, don't blow this for me.
286
00:11:06,041 --> 00:11:09,416
Peter, only foolish moron would believe
we are horse.
287
00:11:09,500 --> 00:11:10,750
[Faye] Well, hello there.
288
00:11:10,833 --> 00:11:12,583
You must be new on the scene.
289
00:11:12,666 --> 00:11:15,875
I would have remembered
such a handsome stallion.
290
00:11:15,958 --> 00:11:18,833
I'm sorry, but... no showmance for Peter.
291
00:11:18,916 --> 00:11:22,458
He must focus
on what matters most: the work.
292
00:11:24,416 --> 00:11:26,041
Before we begin, a few rules.
293
00:11:26,125 --> 00:11:29,625
You're all on vocal rest,
you can only drink Brooklyn tap water,
294
00:11:29,708 --> 00:11:31,833
and times have changed
since my last production,
295
00:11:31,916 --> 00:11:33,665
so I can't fuck you.
296
00:11:33,750 --> 00:11:35,333
But you can fuck me.
297
00:11:35,415 --> 00:11:36,790
-Ah.
-Well, good to know.
298
00:11:36,875 --> 00:11:38,208
-[claps]
-[all three clap back]
299
00:11:38,290 --> 00:11:40,165
-Any questions?
-Um, yes.
300
00:11:40,250 --> 00:11:43,000
This nephew horse I play--
what make him tick?
301
00:11:43,083 --> 00:11:44,375
What his greatest trauma?
302
00:11:44,458 --> 00:11:46,625
He's a fucking orphan. What do you think?
303
00:11:46,708 --> 00:11:49,208
All right,
let's run through the opening number.
304
00:11:49,290 --> 00:11:51,790
A five, a six, a five, six, seven, eight.
305
00:11:51,875 --> 00:11:54,415
[upbeat tune playing]
306
00:11:54,500 --> 00:11:56,958
[singing out of tune]
? I'm Mame ?
307
00:11:57,040 --> 00:11:59,165
? That's right, I'm Mame... ?
308
00:11:59,250 --> 00:12:02,250
-[grunts]
-[all groaning, neighing]
309
00:12:02,333 --> 00:12:03,541
[loud snap]
310
00:12:03,625 --> 00:12:06,625
Aah! My leg! My fucking leg!
311
00:12:06,708 --> 00:12:08,041
Billy.
312
00:12:08,125 --> 00:12:09,541
[horse actor 1] It's just a sprain!
It's just a...
313
00:12:09,625 --> 00:12:10,791
-No, no, no, no, no--
-[gunshot]
314
00:12:10,875 --> 00:12:12,166
-[thudding]
-[all gasping]
315
00:12:12,250 --> 00:12:13,666
Okay, everyone, from the top!
316
00:12:13,750 --> 00:12:15,583
[Patti] Wow, Mando.
317
00:12:15,666 --> 00:12:19,041
Day one,
and you already killed your Gooch.
318
00:12:19,125 --> 00:12:20,625
-Patti.
-[blues playing]
319
00:12:20,708 --> 00:12:23,250
Patti LuPony.
320
00:12:23,333 --> 00:12:24,375
[Seth] Dr. Cupcake!
321
00:12:24,458 --> 00:12:27,916
We have one more patient
who's ready to get spayed--
322
00:12:28,000 --> 00:12:31,166
-[gasps] Oh, no!
-[instrumental rock playing]
323
00:12:31,250 --> 00:12:35,415
They're monsters! You made them monsters!
324
00:12:36,415 --> 00:12:37,875
Zip 'em up, move 'em out.
325
00:12:37,958 --> 00:12:39,000
Yes, chef.
326
00:12:39,083 --> 00:12:41,750
And you can go.
Remember, your back'll hurt at first,
327
00:12:41,833 --> 00:12:43,333
but you'll grow into 'em.
328
00:12:43,415 --> 00:12:45,415
And baby, they look bangin'.
329
00:12:45,500 --> 00:12:47,708
Cupcake, I trusted you!
330
00:12:47,790 --> 00:12:49,708
I backed you up in front of Brandi!
331
00:12:49,790 --> 00:12:51,125
Well, what's the problem?
332
00:12:51,208 --> 00:12:52,665
I did the snippin' and the clippin'.
333
00:12:52,750 --> 00:12:55,958
I also offered some "cosmetic upgrades."
334
00:12:56,040 --> 00:12:58,083
I mean, look how snatched these cats look.
335
00:12:58,165 --> 00:13:00,166
This is the best-looking pussy
you've ever seen.
336
00:13:00,250 --> 00:13:03,458
[Seth] Huh. They do seem more confident.
337
00:13:03,541 --> 00:13:05,041
And you could be, too!
338
00:13:05,125 --> 00:13:07,041
Me? Oh, stop.
339
00:13:07,125 --> 00:13:09,875
Are you telling me
that there is nothing you want to change
340
00:13:09,958 --> 00:13:11,708
about this whole dusty mess?
341
00:13:11,791 --> 00:13:13,000
? ?
342
00:13:13,083 --> 00:13:15,125
It's your flat ass on the line!
343
00:13:15,208 --> 00:13:20,375
[in slow motion]
Flat... ass.
344
00:13:21,916 --> 00:13:24,875
I have always been insecure
about my... tuchus.
345
00:13:24,958 --> 00:13:26,666
[laughing]
Damn, Seth.
346
00:13:26,750 --> 00:13:28,625
You got no cake in that pan.
347
00:13:28,708 --> 00:13:31,500
I never should have shown you what I got.
348
00:13:31,583 --> 00:13:33,375
Oh, I've seen worse, a lot worse.
349
00:13:33,458 --> 00:13:35,290
-I worked at Patagonia.
-Oh.
350
00:13:35,375 --> 00:13:38,833
So tell me, what is your dream ass?
351
00:13:38,915 --> 00:13:41,458
I've actually made a few sketches.
352
00:13:41,540 --> 00:13:44,125
Ooh, Sethie,
I always knew you was a freak.
353
00:13:45,083 --> 00:13:47,583
-[? Oakfield Mansion sings "Going In"]
-[cheering, overlapping chatter]
354
00:13:47,665 --> 00:13:48,915
-[kitten 1] Oh, yes!
-[kitten 2] Gross!
355
00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:50,083
[gasps]
356
00:13:50,165 --> 00:13:52,833
I have COVID. Should I go home?
357
00:13:52,915 --> 00:13:54,208
? Going in, yeah... ?
358
00:13:54,290 --> 00:13:55,875
-Hey.
-Oh.
359
00:13:55,958 --> 00:13:58,000
How's the volunteer work going?
360
00:13:58,083 --> 00:14:00,000
Good. Very fulfilling.
361
00:14:00,083 --> 00:14:01,458
Well, aren't you such a good person.
362
00:14:01,541 --> 00:14:03,416
Okay, are you just gonna
be mad at me forever?
363
00:14:03,500 --> 00:14:05,333
-Maybe.
-Ugh.
364
00:14:05,416 --> 00:14:07,291
I'm sorry I showed up like this.
365
00:14:07,375 --> 00:14:09,041
It's just been really weird without you.
366
00:14:09,125 --> 00:14:10,500
Can we just go somewhere and talk?
367
00:14:10,583 --> 00:14:12,625
Somewhere with, like,
less kittens with tits?
368
00:14:12,708 --> 00:14:15,333
Kevin! We need your help!
369
00:14:15,416 --> 00:14:16,875
Is that Charles Melton?
370
00:14:16,958 --> 00:14:18,375
Yeah, of course it is.
371
00:14:18,458 --> 00:14:19,833
Try and keep it in your pants, okay?
372
00:14:19,916 --> 00:14:21,791
Judy, Chuck, what are y'all up to?
373
00:14:21,875 --> 00:14:23,125
You need some tunes?
374
00:14:23,208 --> 00:14:25,458
I got a Pavement mix
that'll change your life.
375
00:14:25,541 --> 00:14:27,416
We're making hygiene kits
for the unhoused.
376
00:14:27,500 --> 00:14:29,166
That's what you're doing at a party?
377
00:14:29,250 --> 00:14:31,083
Uh-huh. And we wanted to pick your brain
378
00:14:31,166 --> 00:14:34,500
about what a senior cat
on the streets might need.
379
00:14:34,583 --> 00:14:36,665
Do you need a soft toothbrush
for your old teeth?
380
00:14:36,750 --> 00:14:38,665
-Diapers, right?
-Whoa, whoa. Senior cat?
381
00:14:38,750 --> 00:14:40,083
Wait. [chuckles]
382
00:14:40,165 --> 00:14:41,665
How old do you think I am?
383
00:14:41,750 --> 00:14:42,833
Hmm. Fourteen?
384
00:14:42,915 --> 00:14:44,583
You think I'm 14?
385
00:14:44,665 --> 00:14:46,208
Oh, sorry. Are you 15?
386
00:14:46,290 --> 00:14:47,583
-What the fuck!?
-Hey!
387
00:14:47,665 --> 00:14:49,750
I want to get mad
and yell about stuff, too!
388
00:14:49,833 --> 00:14:53,915
Why'd they take Jack Paar off the air?
I miss Jack Paar.
389
00:14:54,000 --> 00:14:56,208
-I don't know who that is.
-Ah, your memory's going, too, David?
390
00:14:56,290 --> 00:15:00,000
No, it's not!
I'm young and cool and full of life! Ugh..
391
00:15:00,083 --> 00:15:02,125
And I'm full of scabs.
392
00:15:02,208 --> 00:15:03,666
I eat my scabs.
393
00:15:03,750 --> 00:15:05,333
-Mother!
-Yes, Mama!
394
00:15:05,416 --> 00:15:06,916
She birthed me.
395
00:15:07,000 --> 00:15:08,666
[Armando] Patti.
396
00:15:08,750 --> 00:15:10,166
What a surprise.
397
00:15:10,250 --> 00:15:13,083
I heard
you were turned into Elmer's years ago.
398
00:15:13,166 --> 00:15:14,833
Huh. That's weird.
399
00:15:14,916 --> 00:15:16,333
I heard you choked to death on a hairball
400
00:15:16,416 --> 00:15:18,750
-while going down on a stray.
-Oh!
401
00:15:18,833 --> 00:15:20,666
Who is this saucy horse with Bob?
402
00:15:20,750 --> 00:15:22,041
Is this intimacy coordinator?
403
00:15:22,125 --> 00:15:25,333
This, ladies and gentlemen,
is Patti LuPony,
404
00:15:25,416 --> 00:15:28,250
the toast of Broadway
and the bane of my existence.
405
00:15:28,333 --> 00:15:31,000
Ha! You call this an existence?
406
00:15:31,083 --> 00:15:34,083
You might as well be doing
the Summer Spectacular at SeaWorld.
407
00:15:34,165 --> 00:15:35,833
Haven't lost your touch, I see.
408
00:15:35,915 --> 00:15:38,790
Blowing up our rehearsal
just like you did your fifth marriage.
409
00:15:38,875 --> 00:15:40,208
That one wasn't my fault.
410
00:15:40,290 --> 00:15:41,790
Butterscotch was gay.
411
00:15:41,875 --> 00:15:42,915
What the fuck are you doing here?
412
00:15:43,000 --> 00:15:44,458
Mame brought me here.
413
00:15:44,540 --> 00:15:46,708
I've been waiting my whole life
to play this role.
414
00:15:46,790 --> 00:15:49,625
I'm sorry,
but we already have our Auntie Mame,
415
00:15:49,708 --> 00:15:52,708
and Faye has a very unique take
on the character.
416
00:15:52,790 --> 00:15:54,790
[with Cajun accent]
In this version, I'm Cajun!
417
00:15:54,875 --> 00:15:57,290
Jambalaya. Zatarain's.
True Detective, Season One.
418
00:15:57,375 --> 00:16:00,166
Oh, please.
This is amateur hour, and you know it.
419
00:16:00,250 --> 00:16:02,375
Billy, let's do it in B flat!
420
00:16:02,458 --> 00:16:03,833
["That's How Young I Feel" playing]
421
00:16:03,916 --> 00:16:06,416
? I have a feeling that time has halted ?
422
00:16:06,500 --> 00:16:08,416
? I'd like two straws
and a chocolate malted ?
423
00:16:08,500 --> 00:16:12,375
? 'cause that's how young I feel ?
424
00:16:12,458 --> 00:16:15,375
? I feel like pecking and bunny-hugging ?
425
00:16:15,458 --> 00:16:17,708
? and Lindy hopping and jitterbugging ?
426
00:16:17,791 --> 00:16:20,833
? 'cause that's how young I feel ?
427
00:16:20,916 --> 00:16:25,416
? I'm mad for that big band beat ?
428
00:16:25,500 --> 00:16:26,708
? want to ride ?
429
00:16:26,791 --> 00:16:29,666
-? in a rumble seat ?
-[cheering]
430
00:16:29,750 --> 00:16:30,791
? Sheldon's got a Chevy! ?
431
00:16:30,875 --> 00:16:33,000
? I'd love a face full of frozen custard ?
432
00:16:33,083 --> 00:16:35,208
? to have a hot dog
with sand and mustard ?
433
00:16:35,290 --> 00:16:39,000
? and ride the Ferris wheel ?
434
00:16:39,083 --> 00:16:44,875
? Oh, honey,
'cause that's how young I feel! ?
435
00:16:44,958 --> 00:16:46,790
-[neighing]
-[indistinct chatter]
436
00:16:46,875 --> 00:16:50,000
-God almighty, she's a star.
-[indistinct chatter, clapping]
437
00:16:50,083 --> 00:16:53,083
She is very good for intimacy coordinator.
438
00:16:53,165 --> 00:16:55,875
[Dimitri] Peter, I am taking smoke break.
439
00:16:55,958 --> 00:16:59,083
Patti, that performance
sent chills down my spine.
440
00:16:59,165 --> 00:17:02,333
I'd love to give you the part, but...
I fucking hate you.
441
00:17:02,416 --> 00:17:03,541
Bye-bye now.
442
00:17:03,625 --> 00:17:05,040
Ha! Your loss, doll.
443
00:17:05,125 --> 00:17:07,958
Oh, you got to watch out
for dem gators, y'all.
444
00:17:08,040 --> 00:17:10,915
They crawl over dem banks
and bite your head off.
445
00:17:11,000 --> 00:17:13,583
Faye, it's getting offensive.
446
00:17:13,665 --> 00:17:15,000
-[group chanting] Big bro!
-Yeah!
447
00:17:15,083 --> 00:17:16,833
-Big bro! Big bro!
-This cat is bussin'!
448
00:17:16,915 --> 00:17:18,290
-[burps]
-Let him cook!
449
00:17:18,375 --> 00:17:20,208
-[cheering and chanting]
-I am bussin'!
450
00:17:20,290 --> 00:17:22,790
-Bro, you are wild!
-You-- Whoa.
451
00:17:22,875 --> 00:17:24,375
You want to see something wild?
452
00:17:24,458 --> 00:17:26,040
I'll show you something really wild.
453
00:17:26,125 --> 00:17:29,333
I'm gonna go inside the dryer!
454
00:17:29,416 --> 00:17:30,416
-[air horn blowing]
-[cheering]
455
00:17:30,500 --> 00:17:33,208
Let's fucking go... to the basement!
456
00:17:33,291 --> 00:17:38,166
Big bro Kevin gonna show you
how to do it... dryer style!
457
00:17:38,250 --> 00:17:39,625
-[cheering and chanting]
-I'm a normal guy.
458
00:17:39,708 --> 00:17:41,083
I buy my own groceries at Erewhon.
459
00:17:41,166 --> 00:17:44,791
I'm-I'm sorry. I-I feel like
you're not listening to my story.
460
00:17:44,875 --> 00:17:46,416
I don't know. Tayvin?
461
00:17:46,500 --> 00:17:47,958
How you spelling that?
462
00:17:48,041 --> 00:17:51,833
T-A-Y-V-I... N?
463
00:17:51,916 --> 00:17:53,833
Hot damn! You're killing it!
464
00:17:53,916 --> 00:17:55,625
-[knocking]
-Yeah?
465
00:17:55,708 --> 00:17:58,666
Hi! We had a little question
about this kitten.
466
00:17:58,750 --> 00:17:59,916
Whoa.
467
00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:02,833
We were just wondering
if you had an extra bra on hand.
468
00:18:02,916 --> 00:18:05,000
Her back's a little sore, you know.
469
00:18:05,083 --> 00:18:07,375
Yeah. Let me see. Well, here you go.
470
00:18:07,458 --> 00:18:10,666
-Underwire, on the house.
-Thanks.
471
00:18:10,750 --> 00:18:12,250
Oh, no, thank you.
472
00:18:12,333 --> 00:18:15,166
Now you have fun
with that precious little bikini babe.
473
00:18:15,250 --> 00:18:17,750
Sethica Michael Hirsch!
474
00:18:17,833 --> 00:18:20,291
Uh-oh. I'm in trouble.
475
00:18:21,708 --> 00:18:24,250
You incompetent, low-T dickstain!
476
00:18:24,333 --> 00:18:26,208
I knew Cupcake was up to something!
477
00:18:26,291 --> 00:18:30,583
And I told you if she fucked things up,
it was your flat ass I was tearing apart!
478
00:18:30,666 --> 00:18:32,583
Speaking of my flat ass...
479
00:18:32,666 --> 00:18:35,208
I have something to show you.
480
00:18:35,291 --> 00:18:37,666
I got a B.S.B.
481
00:18:37,750 --> 00:18:39,958
-What?!
-A Big Shelf Butt.
482
00:18:40,041 --> 00:18:42,208
Because you love to lay on shelves.
483
00:18:42,291 --> 00:18:44,250
And now my tuchus is shaped like one.
484
00:18:44,333 --> 00:18:46,791
You idiot! [gasping]
485
00:18:46,875 --> 00:18:48,500
[inhales]
486
00:18:48,583 --> 00:18:50,333
Put me up on that Big Shelf Butt!
487
00:18:50,416 --> 00:18:53,166
To keep screaming at me? You got it.
488
00:18:53,250 --> 00:18:55,625
Ugh. This is reminding me
too much of my parents.
489
00:18:55,708 --> 00:18:57,666
Now look what you done!
490
00:18:57,750 --> 00:18:59,291
I'm curling up!
491
00:18:59,375 --> 00:19:01,500
-And... falling asleep.
-[bluesy lullaby music playing]
492
00:19:01,583 --> 00:19:03,875
And I'm dreaming about killing you.
493
00:19:03,958 --> 00:19:09,541
Every night, I dream about killing you.
494
00:19:09,625 --> 00:19:11,791
[snoring]
495
00:19:11,875 --> 00:19:16,083
Oh. I have to use the washroom very badly,
but I'll hold it.
496
00:19:16,166 --> 00:19:18,375
Heads up. I had to move the hole.
497
00:19:18,458 --> 00:19:22,291
Oh, okay, one more time, Faye.
498
00:19:22,375 --> 00:19:25,291
And remember,
Billy still has one bullet left.
499
00:19:25,375 --> 00:19:28,416
Yes, mon ami. [clears throat]
500
00:19:28,500 --> 00:19:29,958
[singing off-key]
? I'm Mame! ??
501
00:19:30,041 --> 00:19:31,083
No, no, no. Like this.
502
00:19:31,166 --> 00:19:33,291
? I'm Mame! ??
503
00:19:33,375 --> 00:19:35,916
[off-key]
? I'm Mame! ??
504
00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:38,875
-Oh!
-I'm tryin' my level best, cher,
505
00:19:38,958 --> 00:19:42,125
but we been at it so long,
my bouche done turnt to gumbo.
506
00:19:42,208 --> 00:19:44,000
[in her own voice]
Can I be Faye for a minute?
507
00:19:44,083 --> 00:19:45,458
Please.
508
00:19:45,541 --> 00:19:48,500
I'm so bad, right? Like, I'm really bad?
509
00:19:48,583 --> 00:19:50,541
And I can't carry this show?
510
00:19:50,625 --> 00:19:53,166
-Yes.
-You know who we need.
511
00:19:53,250 --> 00:19:55,791
Oh. You're right.
512
00:19:55,875 --> 00:19:58,166
[slow, melancholy
piano music playing]
513
00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:01,333
Is director gone?
514
00:20:01,416 --> 00:20:03,166
He is.
515
00:20:05,333 --> 00:20:09,166
Oh, yeah, show me what dat thing do.
516
00:20:09,250 --> 00:20:11,166
I mean your horse penis.
517
00:20:11,250 --> 00:20:14,125
[Dimitri] Peter, I have to go.
I have coding class.
518
00:20:16,041 --> 00:20:19,458
-[kittens] Dry-er! Dry-er! Dry-er!
-[air horn blowing]
519
00:20:19,541 --> 00:20:23,666
All right, raise your hand
if you want me to do it delicate cycle?
520
00:20:23,750 --> 00:20:26,041
-[booing]
-Oh, shit.
521
00:20:26,125 --> 00:20:29,375
-So you want permanent press?
-[all] Yeah!
522
00:20:29,458 --> 00:20:31,541
How about... heavy duty?
523
00:20:31,625 --> 00:20:32,958
-Ow!
-[cheering]
524
00:20:33,041 --> 00:20:34,708
-[phone buzzing]
-Fuck!
525
00:20:34,791 --> 00:20:38,541
My sleep app says if I don't
go to bed right now, it'll shoot my dad.
526
00:20:38,625 --> 00:20:41,125
Wait! We need to help Kevin!
527
00:20:41,208 --> 00:20:42,958
Why? He's so problematic.
528
00:20:43,041 --> 00:20:44,625
-And ugly.
-And 15.
529
00:20:44,708 --> 00:20:49,375
But he's my friend, and I'm gonna
help him, because I'm Mother.
530
00:20:49,458 --> 00:20:51,958
-[ding, buzzing]
-Okay, we really got to go.
531
00:20:52,041 --> 00:20:54,000
The app just sent me a gun emoji.
532
00:20:54,083 --> 00:20:56,041
My sleep app kidnapped
my little sister,
533
00:20:56,125 --> 00:20:57,333
so now I've got a flip phone.
534
00:20:57,416 --> 00:20:58,708
Aw, I miss Natalie.
535
00:20:58,791 --> 00:21:02,500
Wait! Kevin, you don't have to do this!
536
00:21:02,583 --> 00:21:03,750
You don't get it, Judy.
537
00:21:03,833 --> 00:21:06,250
My bussy's out, and this shit slaps.
538
00:21:06,333 --> 00:21:08,250
Let... me... cook.
539
00:21:08,333 --> 00:21:09,958
[kittens cheering]
540
00:21:10,041 --> 00:21:11,750
[screaming]
541
00:21:11,833 --> 00:21:14,333
Whoa. Ow! Ooh!
542
00:21:14,416 --> 00:21:18,541
Seth, turn your shelf ass around so
I can yell at these little abominations!
543
00:21:18,625 --> 00:21:20,791
Wait. Is that a kitten in that dryer?!
544
00:21:20,875 --> 00:21:22,541
No! It's Kevin!
545
00:21:22,625 --> 00:21:25,500
-Oh. [blows raspberry] Let it run, then.
-Kevin?!
546
00:21:25,583 --> 00:21:28,833
-[crowd gasping and exclaiming]
-Whoa. Ah. [mumbles]
547
00:21:28,916 --> 00:21:30,625
Goddamn it, Dana!
548
00:21:30,708 --> 00:21:34,625
I can't believe
you keep doing all this to me!
549
00:21:34,708 --> 00:21:37,500
Oh, my God, are you drunk?
You could have died in there!
550
00:21:37,583 --> 00:21:39,291
-Ow. Ow.
-Hey. Hey.
551
00:21:39,375 --> 00:21:42,125
-Ow! Get-- Uh, ow.
-Don't fucking pick me up! Aah!
552
00:21:42,208 --> 00:21:44,750
Aah! Goddamn it! You scratched me!
553
00:21:44,833 --> 00:21:46,750
Well, I don't like being picked up,
and I've told you that a million times,
554
00:21:46,833 --> 00:21:48,166
but you never listen to me!
555
00:21:48,250 --> 00:21:50,250
Stop being a fucking baby.
I just wanted to talk to you.
556
00:21:50,333 --> 00:21:53,000
I don't care what you want.
I'm done with you.
557
00:21:53,083 --> 00:21:55,750
In fact... I never want to see you again.
558
00:21:55,833 --> 00:21:57,750
-[footsteps retreating]
-Kevin.
559
00:21:57,833 --> 00:21:59,458
-All right, party's over!
-[kittens sighing]
560
00:21:59,541 --> 00:22:01,375
Go, go, go! Move, move, move!
561
00:22:02,166 --> 00:22:05,666
What in the--? Is that a meatball?
562
00:22:05,750 --> 00:22:09,083
And are those carrots, escarole and orzo?
563
00:22:09,166 --> 00:22:11,500
She filled your ass
with Italian wedding soup!
564
00:22:11,583 --> 00:22:13,708
Oh, my. I can feel none of this.
565
00:22:13,791 --> 00:22:15,166
[crickets chirping]
566
00:22:15,250 --> 00:22:17,041
? Nine hundred and ninety-seven ?
567
00:22:17,125 --> 00:22:18,750
? Nine hundred and ninety-eight... ?
568
00:22:18,833 --> 00:22:19,958
[knocking]
569
00:22:21,083 --> 00:22:22,708
Well, well, well.
570
00:22:22,791 --> 00:22:24,916
If I wanted to see old pussy,
571
00:22:25,000 --> 00:22:27,916
I would have gone down
to the set of And Just Like That...
572
00:22:28,000 --> 00:22:33,291
[sighs] Patti, I'm here because
the show needs you. I need you.
573
00:22:33,375 --> 00:22:36,041
Armando, you're the most frustrating,
574
00:22:36,125 --> 00:22:38,875
bullheaded, bitchiest director
I've ever worked with.
575
00:22:38,958 --> 00:22:40,125
I see.
576
00:22:40,208 --> 00:22:42,375
But you're also the best director
I've ever worked with.
577
00:22:42,458 --> 00:22:45,416
-Count me in.
-Oh, thank God.
578
00:22:45,500 --> 00:22:47,833
Faye was about
to start learning voodoo.
579
00:22:47,916 --> 00:22:50,291
And if I'm being honest,
I need this show, too.
580
00:22:50,375 --> 00:22:53,750
My career really took a hit
after Equus Live on NBC.
581
00:22:53,833 --> 00:22:56,291
You just kept stomping that boy!
582
00:22:56,375 --> 00:22:57,750
He was on my mark!
583
00:22:57,833 --> 00:22:59,166
[both laughing]
584
00:22:59,250 --> 00:23:02,833
Well, I've got to translate this script
out of Fay-jun.
585
00:23:02,916 --> 00:23:05,958
By the way,
I want the biggest dressing room.
586
00:23:06,041 --> 00:23:09,708
And not the one
Beanie Feldstein cried all over.
587
00:23:11,333 --> 00:23:16,000
"Mame talks like a normal human woman."
588
00:23:16,083 --> 00:23:18,875
Armando, you got any Advil?
589
00:23:18,958 --> 00:23:20,458
Ow!
590
00:23:20,541 --> 00:23:23,333
Mother is serving... you some soup.
591
00:23:23,416 --> 00:23:28,083
Oh, God. Pills and soup.
I'm getting so old.
592
00:23:28,166 --> 00:23:30,583
At least you and your friend Dana made up.
593
00:23:30,666 --> 00:23:33,250
No, we didn't.
I told her I never want to see her again.
594
00:23:33,333 --> 00:23:36,291
If she pulls that shit again,
you get a restraining order.
595
00:23:36,375 --> 00:23:39,833
Yeah, litigation.
That would be "mother" of me.
596
00:23:39,916 --> 00:23:42,916
Am I using "mother" correctly?
I really don't understand it.
597
00:23:43,000 --> 00:23:46,375
Guys, is it cool if me and my girlfriend
go to third base in here?
598
00:23:46,458 --> 00:23:48,875
-No!
-Did you say girlfriend?!
599
00:23:48,958 --> 00:23:53,041
Wait till the horses in my mom's
retirement home hear about this.
600
00:23:53,125 --> 00:23:55,166
-[? "Houseboat"]
-? I'm gonna build a houseboat ?
601
00:23:55,250 --> 00:23:57,333
? on the bayou ?
602
00:23:57,416 --> 00:24:01,250
? It's gonna be a mighty,
mighty pretty sight to see ?
603
00:24:01,333 --> 00:24:03,625
? I'm gonna make it nice
and paint it red ?
604
00:24:03,708 --> 00:24:05,750
? with a little kitchen and a double bed ?
605
00:24:05,833 --> 00:24:08,416
? I'm gonna build a houseboat,
it's gonna be a love boat ?
606
00:24:08,500 --> 00:24:11,083
? I'm gonna build a houseboat
for you and me ?
607
00:24:12,208 --> 00:24:13,625
Okay.
608
00:24:13,708 --> 00:24:16,625
? ?
609
00:24:16,708 --> 00:24:21,041
? I'm gonna build a houseboat,
it's gonna be a love boat for you and me ?
610
00:24:21,125 --> 00:24:23,833
? Yeah, for you and me ?
611
00:24:23,916 --> 00:24:26,541
? Just you and me ??
612
00:24:31,625 --> 00:24:33,541
Chirp.
613
00:24:33,591 --> 00:24:38,141
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