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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,000 [G get get h get hap get happy get happy" get happy" pl get happy" play get happy" playin get happy" playing] 2 00:00:06,873 --> 00:00:10,977 ♪ Hello, world, hear the song that we're singing ♪ 3 00:00:11,077 --> 00:00:14,047 ♪ come on, get happy ♪ 4 00:00:15,648 --> 00:00:19,652 ♪ a whole lot of lovin' is what we'll be bringing ♪ 5 00:00:19,753 --> 00:00:22,555 ♪ we'll make you happy ♪ 6 00:00:24,290 --> 00:00:27,127 ♪ we had a dream we'd go traveling together ♪ 7 00:00:27,227 --> 00:00:28,928 ♪ we'd spread a little love ♪ 8 00:00:29,029 --> 00:00:30,630 ♪ and then we'll keep movin' on ♪ 9 00:00:30,730 --> 00:00:33,767 ♪ something always happens whenever we're together ♪ 10 00:00:33,867 --> 00:00:37,504 ♪ we get a happy feeling when we're singing a song ♪ 11 00:00:37,604 --> 00:00:41,408 ♪ traveling along there's a song that we're singing ♪ 12 00:00:41,508 --> 00:00:45,612 ♪ come on, get happy ♪ 13 00:00:45,712 --> 00:00:50,016 ♪ a whole lot of lovin' is what we'll be bringing ♪ 14 00:00:50,116 --> 00:00:52,852 ♪ we'll make you happy ♪ 15 00:00:52,952 --> 00:00:56,956 ♪ we'll make you happy ♪ 16 00:00:57,057 --> 00:01:00,827 ♪ we'll make you happy ♪ 17 00:01:03,063 --> 00:01:04,364 [♪♪♪] 18 00:01:04,464 --> 00:01:07,067 Mom, someday can i sort clothes all by myself? 19 00:01:07,167 --> 00:01:08,902 Sure, when you get old enough. 20 00:01:09,002 --> 00:01:10,770 How will i know when i'm old enough? 21 00:01:10,870 --> 00:01:12,939 When you don't want to do it. 22 00:01:13,039 --> 00:01:15,308 Danny, all i need is a buck. No way. 23 00:01:15,408 --> 00:01:17,377 You'd just squander it on cheap thrills. 24 00:01:17,477 --> 00:01:19,412 There's a beautiful new girl in school 25 00:01:19,512 --> 00:01:21,614 and she wants me to show her the town. 26 00:01:21,714 --> 00:01:22,949 Now, i need a buck! 27 00:01:23,049 --> 00:01:25,051 You're gonna show a girl the town on a dollar? 28 00:01:25,151 --> 00:01:26,753 It's not that big a town. 29 00:01:26,853 --> 00:01:30,190 Then i'll give you a nickel. Buy her a picture postcard. 30 00:01:30,290 --> 00:01:32,992 Danny partridge. Yeah, mom. 31 00:01:33,093 --> 00:01:35,728 This is a brand-new shirt and there are already 32 00:01:35,829 --> 00:01:37,597 two buttons missing off the front. 33 00:01:37,697 --> 00:01:39,232 Make him pay for a new one. 34 00:01:39,332 --> 00:01:41,935 It's not my fault. Gloria hickey tore them off. 35 00:01:42,035 --> 00:01:44,537 Who? Gloria hickey. 36 00:01:44,637 --> 00:01:46,940 She's a girl in school and she hates me. 37 00:01:47,040 --> 00:01:49,142 So she came up and ripped my buttons off. 38 00:01:49,242 --> 00:01:51,377 Danny, i know gloria hickey. 39 00:01:51,478 --> 00:01:53,680 You must have done something to her first. 40 00:01:53,780 --> 00:01:55,849 Nothing. 41 00:01:55,949 --> 00:01:57,584 Well, it was an accident. 42 00:01:57,684 --> 00:01:59,486 I was walking along, 43 00:01:59,586 --> 00:02:03,423 and suddenly, i discovered i had a ball of mud in my hand. 44 00:02:03,523 --> 00:02:04,757 And i thought to myself: 45 00:02:04,858 --> 00:02:07,927 "Boy, it sure is dumb for me to be holding this ball of mud." 46 00:02:08,027 --> 00:02:09,729 So i tossed it away. 47 00:02:09,829 --> 00:02:12,932 And you hit gloria right in the back of the head with it. 48 00:02:13,032 --> 00:02:15,235 Boy, it was a great shot. Thanks a lot. 49 00:02:15,335 --> 00:02:17,337 Why did you hit her with a mud ball? 50 00:02:17,437 --> 00:02:19,005 I can't stand her and she's a creep. 51 00:02:19,105 --> 00:02:21,307 Danny! I'll get it. 52 00:02:21,407 --> 00:02:22,876 Danny! 53 00:02:26,279 --> 00:02:28,348 Gloria! Hi, danny. 54 00:02:28,448 --> 00:02:30,850 Listen, i'm sorry about hitting you in the head 55 00:02:30,950 --> 00:02:32,152 with the mud ball. 56 00:02:32,252 --> 00:02:33,820 That's okay. It was a great shot. 57 00:02:33,920 --> 00:02:35,722 Did you come over to see me? No. 58 00:02:35,822 --> 00:02:38,458 Oh. I came over to see your mom. 59 00:02:38,558 --> 00:02:39,993 I'm selling cookies 60 00:02:40,093 --> 00:02:42,228 and i thought she might wanna buy a box. 61 00:02:42,328 --> 00:02:44,197 Well, you're talking to the right person. 62 00:02:44,297 --> 00:02:45,865 I handle all the finances. 63 00:02:45,965 --> 00:02:47,634 How much are they? A dollar a box. 64 00:02:47,734 --> 00:02:52,739 Nothing to it. i'll just have to dip into petty cash. 65 00:02:52,839 --> 00:02:55,041 [♪♪♪] 66 00:03:02,215 --> 00:03:05,051 Shirley: Danny, who was at the door? 67 00:03:05,151 --> 00:03:07,954 Uh, it was gloria hickey. 68 00:03:08,054 --> 00:03:09,622 She came over to apologize 69 00:03:09,722 --> 00:03:13,459 for tearing the buttons off my shirt. 70 00:03:13,560 --> 00:03:14,794 Twelve boxes of cookies? 71 00:03:14,894 --> 00:03:17,864 Looks like you came out on the short end of the apology. 72 00:03:17,964 --> 00:03:20,767 Don't tell anybody i bought them. 73 00:03:22,569 --> 00:03:25,638 Now, see what you made me do? Me? 74 00:03:25,738 --> 00:03:27,340 Danny, what'd you break now? 75 00:03:27,440 --> 00:03:30,243 Nothing. He dropped his cookies. 76 00:03:31,244 --> 00:03:32,445 Where'd you get them? 77 00:03:32,545 --> 00:03:34,314 He bought them from gloria hickey. 78 00:03:34,414 --> 00:03:37,550 I didn't buy them. I mugged her. 79 00:03:37,650 --> 00:03:41,721 Why would you buy all those cookies from a girl you can't...? 80 00:03:41,821 --> 00:03:44,190 [♪♪♪] 81 00:03:44,290 --> 00:03:47,460 I don't believe it. Danny's in love. 82 00:03:47,560 --> 00:03:48,928 I am not in love. 83 00:03:49,028 --> 00:03:52,532 She's ugly, she's got buck teeth and i never wanna see her again. 84 00:03:52,632 --> 00:03:55,201 [♪♪♪] 85 00:03:56,269 --> 00:03:57,804 He's in love, all right. 86 00:03:57,904 --> 00:04:00,707 [♪♪♪] 87 00:04:04,577 --> 00:04:07,146 [♪♪♪] 88 00:04:12,285 --> 00:04:14,787 [♪♪♪] 89 00:04:15,888 --> 00:04:18,491 Is danny really in love? 90 00:04:18,591 --> 00:04:22,195 If he spent $12, he's in love. 91 00:04:22,295 --> 00:04:25,565 If she likes danny, she ought to get a merit badge. 92 00:04:25,665 --> 00:04:27,100 All right, that's enough. 93 00:04:27,200 --> 00:04:29,502 I don't want you kids teasing him. 94 00:04:29,602 --> 00:04:32,038 Having your first crush on a girl is tough enough 95 00:04:32,138 --> 00:04:33,339 without you making it worse. 96 00:04:33,439 --> 00:04:35,842 Mom, i've been waiting years for this. 97 00:04:35,942 --> 00:04:37,043 No. understood? 98 00:04:37,143 --> 00:04:39,345 I'm gonna have a talk with him. 99 00:04:39,445 --> 00:04:44,384 Keith, well, what do 11-year-old kids do on a date? 100 00:04:44,484 --> 00:04:48,388 I don't know. they can't neck. Danny doesn't have one. 101 00:04:50,089 --> 00:04:53,660 Wish i'd have said that. Glad i did. 102 00:04:53,760 --> 00:04:55,428 [♪♪♪] 103 00:05:02,602 --> 00:05:06,572 Danny, i want to talk to you. 104 00:05:06,673 --> 00:05:08,941 Danny: About what? 105 00:05:09,042 --> 00:05:10,209 About gloria. 106 00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:12,345 I hate gloria. 107 00:05:12,445 --> 00:05:14,480 Then why did you buy all those cookies from her? 108 00:05:14,580 --> 00:05:17,450 She gave me a good deal. It was strictly business. 109 00:05:19,419 --> 00:05:25,024 Danny, every boy starts to like girls sooner or later. 110 00:05:25,124 --> 00:05:27,126 It's nothing to be ashamed of. 111 00:05:27,226 --> 00:05:28,928 But it couldn't be love, mom. 112 00:05:29,028 --> 00:05:31,297 Love is beautiful and nice. 113 00:05:31,397 --> 00:05:33,333 You know, you must've read about it. 114 00:05:33,433 --> 00:05:35,968 A little. 115 00:05:36,069 --> 00:05:37,970 Well, i don't feel any of that. 116 00:05:38,071 --> 00:05:42,041 When i see gloria, i get this strange yearning inside. 117 00:05:43,176 --> 00:05:46,012 What kind of yearning? 118 00:05:46,112 --> 00:05:47,313 I don't wanna talk about it. 119 00:05:47,413 --> 00:05:49,615 You'll think I'm some kind of "prevert." 120 00:05:49,716 --> 00:05:55,421 Danny, I promise I won't think you're some kind of "prevert." 121 00:05:55,521 --> 00:06:00,059 Well, when i see her, i get this yearning, 122 00:06:00,159 --> 00:06:04,364 this uncontrollable desire to grab her 123 00:06:04,464 --> 00:06:07,500 and run up and punch her in the arm. 124 00:06:07,600 --> 00:06:08,968 It's not normal. 125 00:06:09,068 --> 00:06:10,470 I've seen lots of movies 126 00:06:10,570 --> 00:06:12,672 and not one of them does the hero run up 127 00:06:12,772 --> 00:06:14,474 and punch the girl in the arm. 128 00:06:15,475 --> 00:06:20,847 Danny, it isn't normal for adults, 129 00:06:20,947 --> 00:06:23,516 but it's very normal for an 11-year-old boy. 130 00:06:23,616 --> 00:06:25,284 It is? 131 00:06:25,385 --> 00:06:28,020 It's a young boy's way of getting a girl's attention. 132 00:06:28,121 --> 00:06:30,456 You mean i'm normal? Well, close. 133 00:06:30,556 --> 00:06:32,992 Boy, does that take a load off my mind. 134 00:06:33,092 --> 00:06:35,328 Mom, when i see gloria, 135 00:06:35,428 --> 00:06:38,131 i also get another uncontrollable desire. 136 00:06:38,231 --> 00:06:39,399 Oh? 137 00:06:39,499 --> 00:06:42,335 Yeah, to ask her to the sixth-grade dance. 138 00:06:42,435 --> 00:06:47,006 Well, then ask her. I can't. i'm afraid. 139 00:06:47,106 --> 00:06:48,941 [♪♪♪] 140 00:06:49,041 --> 00:06:50,543 Oh, honey. 141 00:06:52,512 --> 00:06:53,679 [Knocking] 142 00:06:53,780 --> 00:06:55,348 Come in. 143 00:06:59,118 --> 00:07:03,723 Laurie, i know i've been rotten to you in the past. 144 00:07:03,823 --> 00:07:05,258 Constantly. 145 00:07:05,358 --> 00:07:07,560 And i hope you can forget all that, 146 00:07:07,660 --> 00:07:10,797 because i'm about to bare my soul to you. 147 00:07:10,897 --> 00:07:12,999 Oh? I'm involved with a woman. 148 00:07:13,099 --> 00:07:16,502 A woman? are you talking about gloria hickey? 149 00:07:16,602 --> 00:07:19,739 Now, let's leave personalities out of it. 150 00:07:19,839 --> 00:07:23,209 I've been studying a lot of techniques to impress women, 151 00:07:23,309 --> 00:07:26,279 and since you're a woman, sort of, 152 00:07:26,379 --> 00:07:28,181 i thought i might try them out on you. 153 00:07:28,281 --> 00:07:30,783 Sure. it might be educational. 154 00:07:30,883 --> 00:07:34,187 Okay, method number one. 155 00:07:36,189 --> 00:07:37,924 What are you doing? Ignoring you. 156 00:07:38,024 --> 00:07:40,326 You know, playing hard to get. Oh. 157 00:07:40,426 --> 00:07:43,463 If you ignore me, how are you gonna ask me out? 158 00:07:43,563 --> 00:07:46,532 Maybe i ought to try method two. Why not? 159 00:07:46,632 --> 00:07:49,101 Method number two. Ask me what's on my mind. 160 00:07:49,202 --> 00:07:51,037 Okay, what's on your mind? 161 00:07:51,137 --> 00:07:52,705 I can't tell you. Why? 162 00:07:52,805 --> 00:07:55,975 Because i'm deep, dark and mysterious. women love it. 163 00:07:56,075 --> 00:07:57,376 Wrong. Wrong? 164 00:07:57,477 --> 00:07:59,045 Better try method number three. 165 00:07:59,145 --> 00:08:00,646 I don't have a method number three. 166 00:08:00,746 --> 00:08:05,284 Danny, if you're trying to get the girl's attention, 167 00:08:05,384 --> 00:08:07,820 you're going about it all wrong. 168 00:08:07,920 --> 00:08:09,522 Look, pretend i'm gloria. Why? 169 00:08:09,622 --> 00:08:11,390 Well, talk to me like you talk to her. 170 00:08:11,491 --> 00:08:13,392 And i'll point out your mistakes, okay? 171 00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:15,228 Okay, but you have to turn your back. 172 00:08:15,328 --> 00:08:17,163 I always walk up on her from behind. 173 00:08:17,263 --> 00:08:18,531 Why do you do that? 174 00:08:18,631 --> 00:08:21,934 Because if she sees me coming, she runs. 175 00:08:22,034 --> 00:08:23,769 Okay. 176 00:08:23,870 --> 00:08:25,705 [♪♪♪] 177 00:08:31,110 --> 00:08:32,879 Hi, gloria. 178 00:08:32,979 --> 00:08:36,115 Ow! danny, that was definitely a mistake. 179 00:08:36,215 --> 00:08:38,584 I got your attention, didn't i? 180 00:08:38,684 --> 00:08:40,820 [♪♪♪] 181 00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:52,198 Well, danny finally got up enough nerve 182 00:08:52,298 --> 00:08:53,833 to ask gloria to the dance. 183 00:08:53,933 --> 00:08:55,835 I hope she's wearing shoulder pads. 184 00:08:55,935 --> 00:08:57,069 Look, when he comes down, 185 00:08:57,169 --> 00:08:59,305 i don't want you kids teasing him. 186 00:08:59,405 --> 00:09:01,707 He's scared to death and if you tease him, 187 00:09:01,807 --> 00:09:03,042 he's sure to back out. 188 00:09:03,142 --> 00:09:04,143 [Clears throat] 189 00:09:04,243 --> 00:09:06,445 [♪♪♪] 190 00:09:15,888 --> 00:09:19,091 Tracy: you look funny. That does it. i'm not going. 191 00:09:19,191 --> 00:09:20,593 Oh, now, wait a minute, danny. 192 00:09:20,693 --> 00:09:22,929 Danny, there's nothing to be afraid of. 193 00:09:23,029 --> 00:09:24,397 That's easy for you to say. 194 00:09:24,497 --> 00:09:26,198 You've never had to ask a girl out. 195 00:09:26,299 --> 00:09:28,034 But, danny, there's nothing to it. 196 00:09:28,134 --> 00:09:30,670 Excuse us. It's time for man talk. 197 00:09:30,770 --> 00:09:32,538 Come here. 198 00:09:33,439 --> 00:09:35,541 Danny, if there's anything 199 00:09:35,641 --> 00:09:37,643 you want to know about handling women, 200 00:09:37,743 --> 00:09:40,046 and you want to get it from a real pro, 201 00:09:40,146 --> 00:09:42,381 you know who to ask. 202 00:09:42,481 --> 00:09:45,785 Yeah, but i already asked keith. he was no help. 203 00:09:45,885 --> 00:09:48,087 I was talking about myself. 204 00:09:48,187 --> 00:09:49,922 Mr. kincaid, 205 00:09:50,022 --> 00:09:53,059 i know you're trying to make me feel better by making me laugh. 206 00:09:53,159 --> 00:09:55,962 Bless you. 207 00:09:56,062 --> 00:09:57,697 [♪♪♪] 208 00:09:59,999 --> 00:10:01,300 Danny... 209 00:10:01,400 --> 00:10:05,605 Look, danny, it's easy to ask a girl out, 210 00:10:05,705 --> 00:10:08,941 especially for someone as brave as you. 211 00:10:09,041 --> 00:10:14,013 Right. why, dazzle her with your impish grin and overpower... 212 00:10:14,113 --> 00:10:15,448 Well, don't overpower. 213 00:10:15,548 --> 00:10:18,451 Overwhelm her with your natural charm. 214 00:10:18,551 --> 00:10:20,519 You really think i have natural charm? 215 00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:23,322 Yeah, we don't talk about it because we're jealous. 216 00:10:23,422 --> 00:10:25,224 I don't think you have charm. 217 00:10:25,324 --> 00:10:26,926 Well, you're jealous. 218 00:10:27,026 --> 00:10:28,461 That's the spirit. 219 00:10:28,561 --> 00:10:30,096 Yeah, what's there to be afraid of? 220 00:10:30,196 --> 00:10:32,865 I'll walk right up, look her straight in the eye and say: 221 00:10:32,965 --> 00:10:35,668 "Gloria, i want you to go to the dance with me." 222 00:10:35,768 --> 00:10:37,136 Good. [Doorbell rings] 223 00:10:37,236 --> 00:10:38,838 I'll get it. 224 00:10:41,841 --> 00:10:43,743 Gloria: Hi, danny. 225 00:10:43,843 --> 00:10:45,177 I can't do it. 226 00:10:45,277 --> 00:10:47,947 [♪♪♪] 227 00:10:48,047 --> 00:10:52,118 Well, so much for natural charm. Let's go have some ice cream. 228 00:10:52,218 --> 00:10:53,853 [Doorbell rings] 229 00:10:56,422 --> 00:10:58,591 Hi, mrs. partridge. Hi, gloria. 230 00:10:58,691 --> 00:11:01,761 I'm sorry if danny acted rather strange. 231 00:11:01,861 --> 00:11:03,095 I didn't notice. 232 00:11:03,195 --> 00:11:06,799 Oh. oh, come in. 233 00:11:06,899 --> 00:11:10,036 Mrs. partridge, we're having a sixth-grade dance at school, 234 00:11:10,136 --> 00:11:13,105 and the girls can ask the guys because the guys chicken out 235 00:11:13,205 --> 00:11:15,174 and won't ask the girls, you know? 236 00:11:15,274 --> 00:11:16,509 I certainly do. 237 00:11:16,609 --> 00:11:18,711 Gloria, are you here to ask my brother out? 238 00:11:18,811 --> 00:11:21,947 Yeah. do you think he'll go? Oh, i think he would. 239 00:11:22,048 --> 00:11:24,550 In fact, i'm certain of it. 240 00:11:24,650 --> 00:11:27,386 Really? i never dreamed it would come true. 241 00:11:27,486 --> 00:11:30,623 I have such a crush on him. Why don't you ask him. 242 00:11:30,723 --> 00:11:32,758 Between us women, he has a crush on you too. 243 00:11:32,858 --> 00:11:36,162 I don't believe it. keith partridge has a crush on me? 244 00:11:36,262 --> 00:11:38,631 [♪♪♪] 245 00:11:49,642 --> 00:11:54,013 Poor danny. What are we gonna do? 246 00:11:54,113 --> 00:11:55,381 I really don't know. 247 00:11:55,481 --> 00:11:57,850 I've never been in a situation like this before. 248 00:11:57,950 --> 00:12:01,587 I was once. I was in love with rose barker, 249 00:12:01,687 --> 00:12:04,356 and she was in love with captain kangaroo. 250 00:12:04,457 --> 00:12:05,725 Captain kangaroo? 251 00:12:05,825 --> 00:12:07,493 Oh, she wasn't in love with the man. 252 00:12:07,593 --> 00:12:10,196 She was in love with the image. 253 00:12:12,698 --> 00:12:13,933 Hi. 254 00:12:14,033 --> 00:12:16,102 [♪♪♪] 255 00:12:16,202 --> 00:12:17,870 Why does everybody look so glum? 256 00:12:20,639 --> 00:12:26,412 Keith, i'm afraid you have a big problem. 257 00:12:26,512 --> 00:12:28,848 Oh, i do? Mm-hm. 258 00:12:28,948 --> 00:12:30,716 Little gloria hickey's in love with you. 259 00:12:30,816 --> 00:12:33,953 Is this a put-on? Afraid not, brother. 260 00:12:34,053 --> 00:12:36,822 She's gonna ask you to the sixth-grade dance. 261 00:12:38,190 --> 00:12:39,625 Poor danny. Does he know? 262 00:12:39,725 --> 00:12:42,495 No, and i don't want him to know. 263 00:12:42,595 --> 00:12:45,498 It would break his heart. 264 00:12:45,598 --> 00:12:47,333 What am i gonna do? 265 00:12:51,270 --> 00:12:56,175 Laurie, mom, mr. kincaid. 266 00:12:56,275 --> 00:12:58,210 Home wrecker! 267 00:12:58,310 --> 00:13:01,213 [♪♪♪] 268 00:13:01,313 --> 00:13:04,316 I think he knows. 269 00:13:04,416 --> 00:13:06,819 [♪♪♪] 270 00:13:08,554 --> 00:13:10,523 Did you talk to danny? 271 00:13:10,623 --> 00:13:13,159 I tried to last night. He just didn't want to talk. 272 00:13:13,259 --> 00:13:15,194 I wish i could help him. 273 00:13:15,294 --> 00:13:16,796 Oh, he'll get over it. 274 00:13:16,896 --> 00:13:18,864 Kids forget those things pretty fast. 275 00:13:18,964 --> 00:13:20,232 I hope so. 276 00:13:20,332 --> 00:13:23,636 Boy, that does it. It's not fair. 277 00:13:23,736 --> 00:13:25,771 I mean, i can understand a guy wanting revenge, 278 00:13:25,871 --> 00:13:27,873 why must the innocent always suffer? 279 00:13:27,973 --> 00:13:30,109 Keith, why are you walking around with a comb 280 00:13:30,209 --> 00:13:31,744 sticking out of your head? 281 00:13:31,844 --> 00:13:34,380 Why? i'll tell you why. It's stuck there for good. 282 00:13:34,480 --> 00:13:35,781 Danny put molasses on it. 283 00:13:36,782 --> 00:13:38,584 Yeah, well, it's not funny. 284 00:13:38,684 --> 00:13:41,787 Not only did he mess with my head, he short-sheeted my bed. 285 00:13:41,887 --> 00:13:43,689 Then, during the middle of the night, 286 00:13:43,789 --> 00:13:47,493 he poured corn flakes all over me. 287 00:13:47,593 --> 00:13:48,894 I didn't get any sleep at all. 288 00:13:48,994 --> 00:13:51,230 I snapped, crackled and popped all night. 289 00:13:51,330 --> 00:13:52,798 Poor danny. "Poor danny"? 290 00:13:52,898 --> 00:13:54,800 You weren't the one who got breakfast in bed. 291 00:13:54,900 --> 00:13:58,270 Keith, he thinks you stole his girlfriend. 292 00:13:58,370 --> 00:14:00,539 Right, you're a home wrecker. 293 00:14:00,639 --> 00:14:02,942 I am an innocent home wrecker. 294 00:14:03,042 --> 00:14:04,410 Look, i can't get mad at him 295 00:14:04,510 --> 00:14:06,712 because i understand the way he must feel, 296 00:14:06,812 --> 00:14:09,348 but that still doesn't get the comb out of my hair. 297 00:14:09,448 --> 00:14:11,217 All right, i'll go and talk to him. 298 00:14:11,317 --> 00:14:12,451 No. 299 00:14:12,551 --> 00:14:14,186 No, this is between me and danny. 300 00:14:14,286 --> 00:14:17,823 I think it's about time we had a man-to-almost-man talk. 301 00:14:17,923 --> 00:14:19,391 [♪♪♪] 302 00:14:22,962 --> 00:14:24,396 [Knocking] 303 00:14:26,665 --> 00:14:28,467 Danny, can i talk to you a minute? 304 00:14:28,567 --> 00:14:33,505 Sure. why not? you won. You have the right to gloat. 305 00:14:33,606 --> 00:14:36,542 I am not here to gloat. 306 00:14:36,642 --> 00:14:38,110 Why? i'd gloat if i were you. 307 00:14:38,210 --> 00:14:41,046 You have the most beautiful girl in the whole world 308 00:14:41,146 --> 00:14:42,414 in love with you. 309 00:14:42,514 --> 00:14:44,483 You're mr. lucky and i'm mr. loser. 310 00:14:44,583 --> 00:14:47,186 Danny, i'm sorry this whole thing happened. 311 00:14:47,286 --> 00:14:48,921 I can't accept your apology. 312 00:14:49,021 --> 00:14:53,692 I'm not apologizing. I have nothing to apologize for. 313 00:14:53,792 --> 00:14:55,594 Sure. it's not your fault 314 00:14:55,694 --> 00:14:57,062 you stole my girlfriend from me. 315 00:14:57,162 --> 00:15:00,966 It's not your fault you broke up a beautiful relationship. 316 00:15:01,066 --> 00:15:05,337 It's not your fault i cry myself to sleep at night. 317 00:15:05,437 --> 00:15:07,873 [♪♪♪] 318 00:15:09,942 --> 00:15:12,578 Okay, yesterday i tried the mr. nice-guy approach 319 00:15:12,678 --> 00:15:14,113 and it didn't work. 320 00:15:14,213 --> 00:15:16,215 But something's gotta be done. What's wrong? 321 00:15:16,315 --> 00:15:19,652 Last night danny snuck into my room again. look. 322 00:15:21,387 --> 00:15:22,988 "Danny loves gloria"? 323 00:15:23,088 --> 00:15:25,624 While i'm dreaming about native girls in tahiti, 324 00:15:25,724 --> 00:15:26,959 that redheaded hamburger 325 00:15:27,059 --> 00:15:29,128 is printing true confessions on my chest, 326 00:15:29,228 --> 00:15:30,796 and he did it in indelible ink. 327 00:15:30,896 --> 00:15:33,999 This situation is beginning to get out of hand. where is danny? 328 00:15:34,099 --> 00:15:36,235 He's in the garage. 329 00:15:44,677 --> 00:15:48,580 Danny, i wanna talk to you. 330 00:15:48,681 --> 00:15:50,549 It won't do any good, mom. 331 00:15:50,649 --> 00:15:52,017 I just have to reconcile myself 332 00:15:52,117 --> 00:15:54,486 to the fact that i'll be miserable forever, 333 00:15:54,586 --> 00:15:56,488 thanks to keith. 334 00:15:57,923 --> 00:16:00,426 That isn't gonna help at all. 335 00:16:00,526 --> 00:16:02,561 Honey... 336 00:16:04,229 --> 00:16:08,033 As you get older, you'll find out that most of the time, 337 00:16:08,133 --> 00:16:11,270 love doesn't work out the way you want it to. 338 00:16:11,370 --> 00:16:12,504 And it does hurt. 339 00:16:12,604 --> 00:16:15,474 It hurts like fury. 340 00:16:15,574 --> 00:16:18,744 I'm sorry. 341 00:16:18,844 --> 00:16:22,181 But, danny, you can't honestly blame keith. 342 00:16:23,415 --> 00:16:25,384 I mean, you can't really believe 343 00:16:25,484 --> 00:16:27,486 he's interested in little gloria. 344 00:16:27,586 --> 00:16:28,921 That makes it all the worse. 345 00:16:29,021 --> 00:16:32,291 To him, she's just another wild fling. 346 00:16:32,391 --> 00:16:33,826 Oh, danny. 347 00:16:33,926 --> 00:16:36,095 But she doesn't like me, mom. 348 00:16:36,195 --> 00:16:38,630 I have to blame somebody. 349 00:16:38,731 --> 00:16:41,633 [♪♪♪] 350 00:16:44,503 --> 00:16:45,671 [Doorbell rings] 351 00:16:45,771 --> 00:16:48,474 I'll get it. Okay. 352 00:16:48,574 --> 00:16:50,409 [♪♪♪] 353 00:16:50,509 --> 00:16:53,145 Hi, keith. Hi, gloria. 354 00:16:54,279 --> 00:16:56,915 Uh, just a second. 355 00:16:59,952 --> 00:17:01,854 Laurie, it's her. What do i do? 356 00:17:01,954 --> 00:17:04,023 What do you do with girls in love with you? 357 00:17:04,123 --> 00:17:06,992 Laurie, you have a dirty mind. She's 11 years old. 358 00:17:07,092 --> 00:17:09,895 I could tell her you're not here. Laurie... 359 00:17:09,995 --> 00:17:12,664 All right, there's only one thing to do. 360 00:17:12,765 --> 00:17:13,875 Break the truth to her gently 361 00:17:13,899 --> 00:17:15,834 and build danny up in the process. 362 00:17:15,934 --> 00:17:19,138 She might get the hint. Good idea. 363 00:17:23,509 --> 00:17:24,977 Come on in, gloria. 364 00:17:25,077 --> 00:17:27,846 [♪♪♪] 365 00:17:27,946 --> 00:17:31,083 Gloria, don't you think Danny's really a great guy? 366 00:17:31,183 --> 00:17:35,954 He's icky. i love you, keith, and i know you love me too. 367 00:17:36,055 --> 00:17:38,590 Laurie and your mom told me. They did? 368 00:17:40,826 --> 00:17:43,028 Uh, excuse me, gloria. 369 00:17:45,464 --> 00:17:47,032 You told her i loved her? 370 00:17:47,132 --> 00:17:49,468 We thought she was talking about danny. 371 00:17:49,568 --> 00:17:52,071 Thanks a lot. Now what do i do? 372 00:17:52,171 --> 00:17:53,338 It's up to you. 373 00:17:53,439 --> 00:17:55,174 I make it a point never to interfere 374 00:17:55,274 --> 00:17:57,109 with other people's love lives. 375 00:17:59,478 --> 00:18:04,416 So she thinks she likes keith. Does that mean you're giving up? 376 00:18:04,516 --> 00:18:07,486 You don't call it giving up when the game's all over. 377 00:18:07,586 --> 00:18:11,223 Well, i never thought i'd raise a quitter. 378 00:18:11,323 --> 00:18:13,859 Who's a quitter? You are. 379 00:18:13,959 --> 00:18:17,229 Danny, most things in life that people want 380 00:18:17,329 --> 00:18:18,831 aren't just handed to them. 381 00:18:18,931 --> 00:18:21,733 If you really want something, you have to keep trying. 382 00:18:21,834 --> 00:18:23,569 You mean i should fight for gloria? 383 00:18:23,669 --> 00:18:24,770 That's exactly what i mean. 384 00:18:24,870 --> 00:18:26,338 I think you're right. 385 00:18:26,438 --> 00:18:28,941 I'm gonna go over to gloria's house right now 386 00:18:29,041 --> 00:18:30,342 and punch her in the arm. 387 00:18:30,442 --> 00:18:31,910 [♪♪♪] 388 00:18:34,913 --> 00:18:38,350 So i came over to ask you to go to the sixth-grade dance. 389 00:18:40,552 --> 00:18:44,423 Gloria... miss hickey. 390 00:18:44,523 --> 00:18:47,626 Miss hickey, i'd love to go to the dance with you but... 391 00:18:47,726 --> 00:18:49,161 You long-haired hamburger, 392 00:18:49,261 --> 00:18:51,196 that's my girlfriend you're asking out! 393 00:18:51,296 --> 00:18:53,132 Danny, wait a minute. Leave me alone! 394 00:18:53,232 --> 00:18:55,701 Danny, you don't understand. I understand enough! 395 00:18:55,801 --> 00:18:57,803 What's going on? 396 00:18:57,903 --> 00:18:59,271 A fight for the honor of a woman. 397 00:18:59,371 --> 00:19:01,773 We are not fighting for the honor of a woman. 398 00:19:01,874 --> 00:19:04,610 I'm not interested in her. She's 11 years old. 399 00:19:04,710 --> 00:19:07,412 [♪♪♪] 400 00:19:10,082 --> 00:19:13,285 Shirley: gloria! Miss hickey! 401 00:19:13,385 --> 00:19:15,787 Now see what you've done? 402 00:19:15,888 --> 00:19:17,689 [♪♪♪] 403 00:19:22,895 --> 00:19:24,396 [Doorbell rings] 404 00:19:35,607 --> 00:19:39,511 Gloria, come on in. 405 00:19:39,611 --> 00:19:41,747 I guess you're here to see keith. 406 00:19:41,847 --> 00:19:43,815 No, i'm here to see you. 407 00:19:45,017 --> 00:19:48,820 Danny, i have to talk to you, alone. 408 00:19:49,955 --> 00:19:53,058 We are alone. Oh, yeah. 409 00:19:53,158 --> 00:19:55,194 Danny, i have a confession to make. 410 00:19:55,294 --> 00:19:58,263 I'm not in love with keith anymore. 411 00:19:58,363 --> 00:20:00,499 You're not? No. 412 00:20:00,599 --> 00:20:04,369 Yesterday you were willing to fight for me, but he wouldn't. 413 00:20:04,469 --> 00:20:06,638 He couldn't love me. 414 00:20:06,738 --> 00:20:09,741 Well, i knew it all along. 415 00:20:09,841 --> 00:20:13,512 I just wanted to break it to you gently. 416 00:20:13,612 --> 00:20:16,281 You're so considerate. That's true. 417 00:20:16,381 --> 00:20:18,283 And, danny? Yeah? 418 00:20:18,383 --> 00:20:21,787 Would you take me to the dance tomorrow night? 419 00:20:21,887 --> 00:20:23,789 [♪♪♪] 420 00:20:26,425 --> 00:20:28,760 [Singing "i would have loved you anyway"] 421 00:20:28,860 --> 00:20:30,596 ♪ Ooh ♪ 422 00:20:30,696 --> 00:20:35,267 ♪ ooh ♪ 423 00:20:35,367 --> 00:20:37,803 ♪ you know that I've been watchin' you ♪ 424 00:20:37,903 --> 00:20:39,371 ♪ for quite some time ♪ 425 00:20:39,471 --> 00:20:45,110 ♪ tryin' to find a way of makin' you mine ♪ 426 00:20:45,210 --> 00:20:48,580 ♪ long before you started a-comin' on strong with me ♪ 427 00:20:48,680 --> 00:20:53,585 ♪ with a super charm that brought me down to see ♪ 428 00:20:53,685 --> 00:20:56,455 ♪ hey, didn't you know that you've been actin' ♪ 429 00:20:56,555 --> 00:20:58,290 ♪ like a movie star ♪ 430 00:20:58,390 --> 00:21:04,062 ♪ and didn't you think I'd dig the person you are ♪ 431 00:21:04,162 --> 00:21:07,599 ♪ no, you never really had to put on all that show ♪ 432 00:21:07,699 --> 00:21:13,438 ♪ I decided when I met you a long long time ago ♪ 433 00:21:13,538 --> 00:21:17,009 ♪ whoa whoa ♪ 434 00:21:17,109 --> 00:21:20,846 ♪ I would have loved you anyway ♪ 435 00:21:20,946 --> 00:21:26,118 ♪ I would have thought you were fine ♪ 436 00:21:26,218 --> 00:21:29,855 ♪ I would have taken you any day ♪ 437 00:21:29,955 --> 00:21:33,058 ♪ I still would try to make you mine ♪ 438 00:21:33,158 --> 00:21:39,331 ♪ I would have loved you anyhow ♪ 439 00:21:39,431 --> 00:21:43,335 ♪ I would have thought you were okay ♪ 440 00:21:43,435 --> 00:21:47,439 ♪ just like I'm lovin' you here and now ♪ 441 00:21:47,539 --> 00:21:51,843 ♪ tellin' ya I'll never go away go away ♪ 442 00:21:51,943 --> 00:21:54,379 ♪ go away ♪ 443 00:22:01,620 --> 00:22:06,091 ♪ So you never really had to put on all that show ♪ 444 00:22:06,191 --> 00:22:10,829 ♪ I decided when I met you a long, long time ago ♪ 445 00:22:10,929 --> 00:22:14,299 ♪ whoa whoa ♪ 446 00:22:14,399 --> 00:22:19,204 ♪ I would have loved you anyway ♪ 447 00:22:19,304 --> 00:22:23,241 ♪ I would have thought you were fine ♪ 448 00:22:23,342 --> 00:22:27,312 ♪ I would have taken you any day ♪ 449 00:22:27,412 --> 00:22:32,317 ♪ I still would try to make you mine ♪ 450 00:22:32,417 --> 00:22:36,188 ♪ I would have loved you anyhow ♪ 451 00:22:36,288 --> 00:22:37,456 [Applause] 452 00:22:37,556 --> 00:22:39,458 ♪ I would have thought you were okay ♪ 453 00:22:49,568 --> 00:22:52,170 [Girls giggling] 454 00:22:57,676 --> 00:23:00,812 No one wants an autograph from a home wrecker. 455 00:23:00,912 --> 00:23:04,015 [♪♪♪] 456 00:23:11,623 --> 00:23:12,991 [♪♪♪] 457 00:23:13,091 --> 00:23:15,894 Danny, tell us what you and gloria hickey did on your date. 458 00:23:15,994 --> 00:23:19,698 No way. i told you, a gentleman doesn't discuss those things. 459 00:23:19,798 --> 00:23:21,767 Can't you tell us just a little? 460 00:23:21,867 --> 00:23:24,569 Laurie, you're a woman. I thought you'd understand. 461 00:23:24,669 --> 00:23:26,805 Girls are also curious. 462 00:23:26,905 --> 00:23:28,573 I can't betray my confidence. 463 00:23:28,673 --> 00:23:30,308 Keith: Mm-hm. can i tell you why he 464 00:23:30,409 --> 00:23:31,943 can't betray his confidence? 465 00:23:32,043 --> 00:23:35,747 Because nothing happened. That's not true. a lot happened. 466 00:23:36,615 --> 00:23:38,250 Like what? 467 00:23:38,350 --> 00:23:40,685 Well, like when i was standing on one side 468 00:23:40,786 --> 00:23:42,287 of the gym with the guys 469 00:23:42,387 --> 00:23:45,891 and gloria was standing on the other side with the girls, 470 00:23:45,991 --> 00:23:48,527 well, she finally came over and asked me to dance. 471 00:23:48,627 --> 00:23:50,829 Why didn't you ask her to dance? 472 00:23:50,929 --> 00:23:52,964 I was ignoring her. 473 00:23:54,266 --> 00:23:56,334 A woman loves it when a guy ignores her. 474 00:23:56,435 --> 00:24:00,305 Forget the dance. get to the good stuff, after the dance. 475 00:24:00,405 --> 00:24:03,308 Well, after the dance, i walked her home. 476 00:24:03,408 --> 00:24:06,611 It was a beautiful moonlit night, really romantic, 477 00:24:06,711 --> 00:24:08,246 just like in the movies. 478 00:24:08,346 --> 00:24:11,817 Don't tell me. You looked deep into her eyes. 479 00:24:11,917 --> 00:24:13,585 Yeah, i did that. 480 00:24:13,685 --> 00:24:17,389 Then you realized it was true love 481 00:24:17,489 --> 00:24:18,590 and you reached for her, 482 00:24:18,690 --> 00:24:20,525 and then you punched her in the arm. 483 00:24:20,625 --> 00:24:23,495 Were you following me? Just a guess. 484 00:24:23,595 --> 00:24:26,865 Well, you left out the best part. she punched me back. 485 00:24:26,965 --> 00:24:30,602 I swear i'll never wash this shoulder again. 486 00:24:30,702 --> 00:24:35,674 Why not? Because i can't lift my arm. 487 00:24:35,774 --> 00:24:38,944 [♪♪♪] 488 00:24:44,883 --> 00:24:47,219 [♪♪♪] 35724

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