Original subtitles

(Geoffrey) "Mr. Frederick Wilkes requests the honor of your presence

"at the marriage of his daughter Lisa

"to Mr. William Smith

"on Saturday the 20th day of May

at 11 o'clock."

Whoo-hoo-hoo! Check it out, man.

Two days before the wedding, and we already got gifts.

I got to marry Lisa more often.

[laughing]

Wow, this is just like Christmas.

[chuckles] Well, ho-ho-ho.

Oh, man. Ooh.

[glass shattering]

What do you think was in that one?

Something that has to be returned.

Whoa, oh, lookie here, lookie here.

All these cute little money-sized envelopes.

[laughs]

Oh, oh. Boom-ba-yah!

[laughs]

Whoo! My favorite wedding guest. Ben Franklin.

Oh, excuse me, Ben. Allow me to show you to your seat.

[theme song]

♪ Now this is a story all about how ♪

♪ My life got flipped turned upside-down ♪

♪ And I'd like to take a minute just sit right there ♪

♪ I'll tell you how I became the prince ♪

♪ Of a town called Bel-Air ♪

♪ In West Philadelphia born and raised ♪

♪ On the playground is where I spent most of my days ♪

♪ Chillin' out maxin' relaxing all cool ♪

♪ And all shootin' some B-ball outside of the school ♪

♪ When a couple of guys who were up to no good ♪

♪ Started makin' trouble in my neighborhood ♪

♪ I got in one little fight and my mom got scared and said ♪

♪ You're moving with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air ♪

♪ I whistled for a cab and when it came near ♪

♪ The license plate said Fresh and it had dice in the mirror ♪

♪ If anything I can say that this cab was rare ♪

♪ But I thought nah forget it yo homes to Bel-Air ♪

♪ I pulled up to a house about 7:00 or 8:00 ♪

♪ And I yelled to the cabbie yo homes smell you later ♪

♪ I looked at my kingdom I was finally there ♪

♪ To sit on my throne as the prince of Bel-Air ♪

[instrumental music]

(Hilary) 'Now, the wedding's in 48 hours'

so I need your final decision on the centerpiece.

Sweetheart roses or baby tulips?

- Roses. - Tulips.

- R-roses. - Tulips.

Can't you two ever agree on anything?

We can always agree on..

Oh, rent a room.

So did pops-in-law settle in yet?

Yes, he did.

Um, baby, do you think that my dad

is gonna get along with your mom?

Oh, I don't know. Can he take a punch?

[laughs] I'm kidding, I'm kidding, I'm kidding.

No, seriously, can he?

[chuckles] Um, that's cool, baby.

Come here, come here.

[chuckles]

Get off of me, woman!

I mean, come on! What would your daddy say?

He'd say, you ain't fooling nobody.

- Hey, daddy. - What's up, man?

Hey, man, how was your flight in from Cleveland?

Oh, well, it was terrible. I got stuck

sitting next to this battleaxe

who kept trying to steal my blanket

the minute I fell asleep.

Oh, man, I know how you feel. Shoot.

Lisa do that to me all the time.

Man, just last night we..

Did, did you hear that?

Just in the other room. Did you..

You-you wait here. We gonna go and check.

Yeah.

Whoa! Baby, wha.. Mwah!

- What are you doing? - Oh.

I'm just practicing for the honeymoon night.

Yo, bellhop, if the room be bopping

don't you be knocking.

- Surprise. - Oh.

Hey, ma, ma!

- Baby. How you doing? - Oh, man!

What are you doing here already?

She wanted to come a day early

so she could surprise you.

But my flight was a disaster!

When I changed planes in Cleveland

they sat me next to this loudmouth chunky butt

who fell asleep on my shoulder.

Then when I tried to move him

he had the nerve to call me a battleaxe

and say I stole his blanket.

- You! - You!

Hey! Hey! Hey!

Hey, hey, hey. Uh, chunky butt, meet battleaxe.

Battleaxe, chunky butt.

[instrumental music]

I don't care what you say, Hilary, I am not wearing

this disgusting bridesmaid's dress.

Oh, but, Ashley, you look adorable. Right, Will?

Oh, yeah.

You look like a chocolate-flavored Pepto-Bismol.

That settles it, I am not wearing this dress

unless I can have a matching bag.

No problem.

To put over my head!

Ashley!

Okay. Come on, Ike and Tina, let's go!

Alright, now, listen, you guys go ahead to the restaurant

and you hold the table, Lisa and I will catch up in a minute.

And, mom, uh, could you try to be nice?

I always am, dear.

Okay, tubby, tuck in your gut, we're going downtown.

In-in-in Philly, tubby mean, uh, cute bald man.

Just don't be late, you might find her face-down

in the crab cake.

I don't know what he's complaining about.

I like my women scrappy.

Oh, well, G, check this out.

Me and Lisa, we ain't even going to the restaurant.

We figured, if we leave them down there by themselves

they'll have to work out their differences.

[laughs] Sounds like a plan, right?

(Fred) 'Woman, will you wait till I get in the car?'

[car engine revving]

I-I didn't say it was a good plan.

[instrumental music]

- Greetings, my brother. - Yo, what up, J?

- Pssh. - Pssh.

- What's up, man? - Uh..

Just doing a little packing here

for my honeymoon.

Oh, J, J.

Daywear.

Nightwear.

[laughs]

Oh, man. Oh! You took your gold tooth out.

- What's the occasion? - The wife and I are split up.

Inconsolable differences.

Oh, Jazz.

I'm-I'm sorry, man. Well, what happened?

Marriage, my brother. I mean..

The minute the ring went on, the mask came off.

And so did the weave.

I realized I married a perfect stranger.

And tomorrow it'll happen to you, too.

Oh, no, man, trust.

I know the woman I'm about to marry.

That's what I thought, but soon after I realized

I didn't know Hortense at all.

Hortense?

Jazz, I-I thought her name was Jewel.

Just one of her many lies.

Man, I found out she slept with every guy in my building.

She had sex with all of them?

She did?

Man, it just gets worse and worse.

[chuckles]

Uh, Jazz, I'm-I'm real sorry

about you and Hortense.

But, uh, trust me, I know my woman

better than I know the back of my own hand.

What the hell is that?

- Hi. - Ah, see?

- I knew she was gonna say that. - Hi, Jazz.

Well, we haven't heard from our folks

which means they must be getting along.

Or one of them's dead and one of them's a fugitive.

[chuckles]

Well, I gotta run.

Hortense took the car in the settlement.

Get off!

At least she ain't got no weave.

- What was that all about? - Oh, nothing.

Jazz just messing with me

talking about I don't know my baby.

Like, how much you love sweet-potato pie.

Uh, baby, I hate sweet-potato pie.

Uh, you, you playing, right, girl? You so silly.

No, next you gonna be telling me

you ain't love "Shaft In Africa."

I don't.

Y-you sat through it, like, nine times!

For you, baby, but personally, I think the guy's a lowlife slug

whose whole sexual identity

is an extension of his big, stupid gun.

Anything else?

- I think he's gay. - Ah!

Ah! Oh!

Oh, Will, what is wrong with you?

One more thing.

Your name is Lisa, isn't it?

Well, it is now, I mean, I just couldn't go through life

hearing people say, "Hey, Beulah."

Well, I'm gonna finish packing

and, baby, I'll see you at the altar.

Mwah!

Bye, Beulah.

[instrumental music]

[knocking on door]

(Vy) 'Who is it?'

Hey, mom. I know it's late, but I really need to talk.

[screaming]

Mama, no!

Will.

[screaming]

Oh..

Will.

[sobbing]

You, him, here. Oh!

I need a moment.

[sighs] I'm an adult.

I can handle this.

I'm okay.

Mama, no!

Will, will you keep it down?

I'm not ready to talk to you yet, young man.

What happened? I heard screaming. Oh..

What's this, a pajama party?

Hey, hey, scooch over.

What's going on?

Ew.

Hey.

Okay, that's it. Everybody out. Everybody out.

- Move it, Ashley. - Right now. Everybody. Come on.

[sniffles] Okay, mom

I just wanna say that I am hurt.

And I don't think that mothers are supposed to do what..

Oh, my God, I just got a mental picture!

Get out! Get out!

[instrumental music]

(Vy) 'Good morning, baby.'

Listen, mom, about last night..

I know, sweetheart.

And I hope I didn't spoil your wedding day.

Uh, no, no, mom, actually, that's-that's what

I wanna talk to you about, now, in a minute

we gonna be moving off to the church.

You're right. You know, I need to find my earrings.

Oh, I know where they are, baby, You left them on top of my..

Maya Angelou's, uh, book of poetry.

Uh, come on, I'll show you where they are.

Y'all, don't miss the wedding.

Look, Aunt Viv, you got a second? I really--

Oh, Nicky! Oh, Lord, come on.

I gotta go upstairs and get you straightened up. Come on, up.

Look, alright, look, Uncle Phil, I need to talk to somebody!

I'm listening.

Alright, maybe later.

I said I was listening, but I got a million things to do.

- So hurry up. - O-o-okay, okay, cool.

Um, remember when you said that me and Lisa was too young

to get married?

Remember when I told you, "Mind your business

I know what I'm doing?"

You remember how wrong

I always am?

Will, I know you're nervous. That's perfectly normal.

Every man gets cold feet. It's coded in our DNA.

But I'll tell you what you do. You're gonna be fine.

Just go in there, say I do, be done with it.

- You feel better? Good. Okay. - Well..

Posse out, let's go!

(Hilary) 'Daddy, I need your checkbook!'

Oh!

Hey, Nick, you got a second, man?

This wedding stuff is really stressing me out.

Tell me about it.

I've got to balance a ring on a stupid pillow.

- Hey, you wanna talk about it? - No.

[church bells tolling]

Oh, Lisa, this dress looks almost as beautiful on you

as it would on me.

Thanks, Hilary.

[door opens]

I need to talk to my wife.

- Well, to-be. Well, her. - Forget it, Will.

You can't see her before the wedding. It's bad luck.

Well, I'll risk it. It's important.

Well, make it fast. If I start to frizz, you're a dead man.

Oh, congratulations!

- Baby? - Uh, baby?

Oh, hey, hey.

- Will, wha-what's wrong? - Um, babe..

You know, this is really hard without looking at you.

Well.. Hey, hey, girl!

This ain't no time to be getting freaky.

Will, I was trying to hold your hand.

Oh, yeah? Well, that wasn't it.

Um...babe, listen, um..

...I've been kind of, you know, having doubts.

What kind of doubts, Will?

Just tiny little, nagging, constant doubts

in the pit of my stomach, you know?

It's like, we so different.

I mean, look, you know, it's just that you seem

so sure of yourself, you know

and so sure about us.

And I'm scared.

[chuckles] I guess this, like

ain't the best time to be telling you this.

No, no, baby, I'm-I'm really happy that you did

because I've been scared, too.

Really?

I thought I was alone in this.

- Why you ain't tell me, girl? - Well, I don't know.

I guess for the same reasons you didn't tell me.

I, you know, I can't tell you how good it feels to know

I can tell you anything.

[Lisa chuckles]

You.. Now I know we gonna be alright.

Yeah.

- I love you, baby. - Oh, baby.

[organ music]

Well, this is it. It's all she wrote.

Last chance for gas.

Last train to Clarksville.

Last of the Mohicans.

You know, as hard as this is to believe

I'm gonna miss you.

[organ music]

[music continues]

[instrumental "Bridal Chorus"]

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today

to join this man and this woman

in holy matrimony.

'Let us pray.'

'Dear Heavenly Father, we ask that'

as Will and Lisa commit their lives to one another

You will strengthen and encourage them

'and guide them in their day-to-day trials'

'and triumphs of life.'

In Your name we pray. Amen.

(all) Amen.

Now, if anyone can show just cause

why Will and Lisa should not be joined together

let them speak now or forever hold their peace.

William, do you take

Beulah Lisa Wilkes

to be your lawfully wedded wife?

Yes, I..

Whoo!

...do.

But I don't.

[crowd gasping]

Will, I'm sorry, but I just think if we both have doubts--

Wait, wait, wait, no, no. Had. We-we had doubts.

Uh, remember, babe? We talked about it.

We both feel better.

No, baby, you feel better.

But I think we're making a really big mistake.

And if you think about it, you will, too.

No, no, Lisa..

...I really love you.

Will, I love you, too, but I think

our parents might be right.

I think maybe we just rushed

into this thing too fast.

Well..

Well, I guess we shouldn't get married, then, should we?

Not today.

[mumbles] Hey, looks like

we finally agree on something.

Yeah-yeah.

Um, Lisa and I

would, uh, like to thank you all for coming today

but, uh, ain't nobody gonna be jumping over no brooms in here.

[chuckling]

Well, save it for that 50 pounds of shrimp

swimming around on that damn ice swan.

Uh, not so fast, Will.

Vy, I always thought that..

...a man only got one chance at happiness.

And then I met you.

We met at 10,000 feet in the air.

And I promise you, baby, if you marry me

neither of us will ever come down.

'Vy..'

...will you be my wife?

[gasps]

- Yes, Fred, I will. - Alright.

If..

...if my son will give me away.

No. No, mom, no. Absolutely not.

You said that me and Lisa were rushing too fast.

I mean, y-y'all gotta take some time to think about this.

The boy's right. We should think about this.

- Yeah. - Did you think about it?

- Yeah. - Me, too. Let's get married.

W-wait. Hey.

H-ho-hold up. Wa-wait a minute.

Y-y'all need to take some more time.

Boy, I ain't got that much time. I'm getting old. Now move.

You're gonna need your bouquet.

Oh, thank you, baby.

Rap on, rev.

Dearly beloved, we are gathered hereagaintoday

to jointhisman andthiswoman in holy matrimony.

Let us pray.

Dear Heavenly Father..

I am not kidding!

Irene told Jane that Debbie told Gail

that Will Smith did not get married.

I know! Isn't it great?

Girl, who said it doesn't pay to pray?

[chuckles] Oh, yes, it does.

My prayers came true. Did he marry her?

I cannot believe he is back on the market.

I mean, you know, I'm sorry for the girl, but who cares? Yes..

He is so fine. Did you see him?

Oh, even in that tux he was looking good.

Wait, wait a.. No. No, no. Wait a.. Wait a minute.

Wait a minute, now, now. This is, this is all j-just too soon!

Now, September, that's a different story.

Y'all come back, now, you hear?

[theme music]

♪ Ah-ah-ah ♪

♪ Ah-ah-ah ♪

♪ Ah-ah-ah ♪

♪ Ah-ah-ah ♪

♪ Ah-ah-ah ♪

♪ Ah-ah-ah ♪♪

[instrumental music]