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1
00:00:02,700 --> 00:00:04,224
Hey, hey, what's up, y'all?
2
00:00:04,400 --> 00:00:08,386
Master Carlton's trying to get a date
with his computer.
3
00:00:08,926 --> 00:00:12,123
Oh, damn, what happened, man,
the toaster turn you down?
4
00:00:13,562 --> 00:00:14,890
Har-dee-har-har.
5
00:00:15,060 --> 00:00:18,827
This romance chat line on the Internet
happens to be a great way to meet babes.
6
00:00:18,997 --> 00:00:22,484
Look, I think the handle I've picked
is pretty nifty.
7
00:00:23,463 --> 00:00:25,291
Loser Boy.
8
00:00:25,761 --> 00:00:28,029
Well, honesty is one way to go.
9
00:00:28,528 --> 00:00:31,985
Will, that's a typo. I'm Lover Boy.
10
00:00:33,164 --> 00:00:35,152
And I guess lying is the other way to go.
Heh.
11
00:00:37,030 --> 00:00:39,928
No, I can come up with a better one.
12
00:00:40,537 --> 00:00:45,902
Ah! How about this one?
Hershey's Kiss. Huh?
13
00:00:46,072 --> 00:00:47,561
Because you're little...
14
00:00:47,731 --> 00:00:49,599
you're chocolate...
15
00:00:50,538 --> 00:00:52,366
and you're rich.
16
00:00:52,866 --> 00:00:55,697
And then your head come
to this stupid little point and, you know:
17
00:02:15,300 --> 00:02:17,489
Geoffrey, I am so excited.
18
00:02:17,668 --> 00:02:21,226
Will put a personal ad on the Internet
for me and I already got a response.
19
00:02:21,396 --> 00:02:22,425
Listen to this:
20
00:02:23,195 --> 00:02:27,322
"Hershey's Kiss would like to get together
with Brown Sugar..."
21
00:02:27,632 --> 00:02:29,291
That's me.
22
00:02:29,470 --> 00:02:31,089
"for a Nestlé's quickie."
23
00:02:34,137 --> 00:02:36,366
You're going out with Hershey's Kiss?
24
00:02:47,139 --> 00:02:48,697
What's so funny?
25
00:02:48,877 --> 00:02:50,666
Miss Hilary...
26
00:02:50,946 --> 00:02:53,434
remember when you caught me
in the potting shed...
27
00:02:53,604 --> 00:02:55,333
with Sabrina, the tennis tutor?
28
00:02:55,513 --> 00:02:59,880
Oh, I certainly do.
And Daddy was so mad when I told him.
29
00:03:00,040 --> 00:03:02,838
Yes, remember I said I'd get you back?
30
00:03:03,508 --> 00:03:05,106
Yeah.
31
00:03:06,216 --> 00:03:08,144
We're even.
32
00:03:10,883 --> 00:03:12,851
Geoffrey, come back here.
33
00:03:13,281 --> 00:03:14,870
Where did all the shoes come from?
34
00:03:15,080 --> 00:03:18,078
Shh. They'll hear you.
35
00:03:18,248 --> 00:03:22,185
These are not just shoes, Hilary.
These are Pro Kicks.
36
00:03:22,355 --> 00:03:24,373
The shoe fairy sent them. Heh-heh.
37
00:03:24,753 --> 00:03:27,581
Cecil from Ladies Footwear
sent us shoes?
38
00:03:27,751 --> 00:03:30,409
A guy named Ernest sent them.
He's an old friend of Dad's.
39
00:03:30,589 --> 00:03:34,816
Oh, these shoes are great.
I'm never taking these off.
40
00:03:36,485 --> 00:03:38,254
Man, this will change my whole life.
41
00:03:38,424 --> 00:03:43,411
Yes, now you can drive the car
without sitting on phone books.
42
00:03:45,060 --> 00:03:47,248
Oh, so Ernest sent these?
43
00:03:47,428 --> 00:03:51,325
Yes, Ernest did.
I love Ernest. Ernest is God.
44
00:03:51,495 --> 00:03:53,054
Who the hell is Ernest?
45
00:03:53,224 --> 00:03:55,123
Well, he's the president of Pro Kicks.
46
00:03:55,293 --> 00:03:57,191
Well, he's opening an office here in L.A.
47
00:03:57,361 --> 00:03:59,450
Oh, man,
it's gonna be great seeing him again.
48
00:03:59,630 --> 00:04:03,617
Well, him and I go way back.
He's the reason that I pledged Pi Nu.
49
00:04:04,596 --> 00:04:07,694
Uh... Excuse me for a second, sir. Um...
50
00:04:07,964 --> 00:04:11,562
The name of your fraternity was Pi Nu?
51
00:04:12,231 --> 00:04:15,669
So that made you what, a pie man?
52
00:04:17,368 --> 00:04:18,397
Yes.
53
00:04:18,707 --> 00:04:23,664
Oh. So, you know, you probably hung out
with the sorority girls from Beta Crocker.
54
00:04:25,942 --> 00:04:27,001
Oh... That's funny.
55
00:04:29,739 --> 00:04:31,608
I guess you wouldn't be interested...
56
00:04:31,778 --> 00:04:34,536
that Ernest said
he has an entry-level position open...
57
00:04:34,706 --> 00:04:38,304
and he just asked me if I knew
any bright young man who needed a job?
58
00:04:39,513 --> 00:04:42,481
- Oh! Oh! I'll take it. I'll take it, Uncle Phil.
- Hmm.
59
00:04:42,641 --> 00:04:46,168
Look, I just need to have a quick talk
with my current employer.
60
00:04:46,408 --> 00:04:47,937
I quit.
61
00:04:48,117 --> 00:04:49,876
Will, please, to get a job like this...
62
00:04:50,046 --> 00:04:53,443
you have to be highly skilled
in my particular area of expertise.
63
00:04:53,783 --> 00:04:56,342
- What, sucking up?
- Exactly.
64
00:04:56,511 --> 00:04:59,349
Hey, you two, that's enough.
Ernie is coming here tonight...
65
00:04:59,519 --> 00:05:02,777
and I want you both to behave
in a civilized, dignified manner.
66
00:05:03,387 --> 00:05:06,115
If in doubt, just follow my lead.
67
00:05:07,484 --> 00:05:08,929
Ain't too proud to beg
68
00:05:08,953 --> 00:05:10,592
Sweet darling,
Please don't leave me, girl
69
00:05:12,291 --> 00:05:16,148
- Let me go. Okay, roll it.
- Yeah.
70
00:05:16,318 --> 00:05:19,946
Baby, baby,
Please, don't leave me, girl
71
00:05:20,125 --> 00:05:22,854
- Bring it home, my boy.
- Hey, can you walk?
72
00:05:23,024 --> 00:05:24,952
Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's it.
73
00:05:25,122 --> 00:05:26,421
Hoo! Hoo!
74
00:05:26,591 --> 00:05:28,720
Yeah. Hoo!
75
00:05:43,100 --> 00:05:45,900
Where's a gong when you need one?
76
00:05:46,570 --> 00:05:47,590
- Yeah.
- Hey.
77
00:05:47,770 --> 00:05:50,401
- Hey. Hey. Hoo! Hoo!
- Hey. Hoo! Hoo!
78
00:05:50,571 --> 00:05:51,601
Yeah.
79
00:05:52,971 --> 00:05:56,571
Oh, God, I love this guy. I love this guy.
80
00:05:56,741 --> 00:05:58,041
Ernie, my nephew, Will.
81
00:05:58,211 --> 00:05:59,981
- Hey, from Philly, right?
- Yes, sir.
82
00:06:00,151 --> 00:06:01,742
Yeah, Moose told me all about you.
83
00:06:02,222 --> 00:06:03,272
- Moose.
- Yeah, yeah.
84
00:06:03,452 --> 00:06:06,822
Back in the day,
your uncle's nickname was Moose.
85
00:06:06,992 --> 00:06:10,622
Wow, what a coincidence,
because Bullwinkle's nickname is Phil.
86
00:06:11,993 --> 00:06:15,993
Hey, Moose, remember spring fling
and Betty Webber?
87
00:06:16,163 --> 00:06:18,333
- Yeah, yeah.
- Oh, my God.
88
00:06:18,503 --> 00:06:20,163
- Stuey Baker, Stuey Baker.
- Oh, yeah.
89
00:06:20,333 --> 00:06:23,904
Got his grandpa's recipe for moonshine.
Made us so damn sick.
90
00:06:24,074 --> 00:06:25,834
Yeah. Ha-ha-ha!
91
00:06:26,014 --> 00:06:27,374
Stuey Baker.
92
00:06:28,384 --> 00:06:31,814
- Hey, so, what's he doing now?
- Oh, he's dead.
93
00:06:32,214 --> 00:06:33,654
Dead drunk probably.
94
00:06:35,025 --> 00:06:37,385
- Oh, man.
- I love this guy.
95
00:06:37,555 --> 00:06:39,755
I am so glad
you're opening an L.A. office, man.
96
00:06:39,925 --> 00:06:41,155
God, so great to see you.
97
00:06:41,325 --> 00:06:43,525
- Yeah, good to see you too.
- Hey, you know what?
98
00:06:43,695 --> 00:06:46,826
That's really funny to me
that you're opening an L.A. office.
99
00:06:46,996 --> 00:06:49,266
- Yeah. Yup.
- Get the heck out of here.
100
00:06:49,436 --> 00:06:51,026
Hey, you know, because actually...
101
00:06:51,206 --> 00:06:54,106
I live in L.A.
and I'm not averse to working in an office.
102
00:06:54,276 --> 00:06:56,536
- Oh, all right.
- Carlton Banks, sir.
103
00:06:56,706 --> 00:07:00,147
I hear you have a job opening
and I'm a 3.8 student.
104
00:07:00,317 --> 00:07:04,117
Actually, he's being a little modest.
Carlton, come on, he's at least 4 feet.
105
00:07:06,017 --> 00:07:08,247
But, seriously, about this job, man.
106
00:07:08,427 --> 00:07:10,988
Yeah, well, I'm looking
for some bright, young person...
107
00:07:11,158 --> 00:07:12,628
to bring into my new office.
108
00:07:12,798 --> 00:07:15,028
That is if I can open up a factory here.
109
00:07:15,198 --> 00:07:19,298
I mean, Councilman Braddock
has been hassling me about a zoning permit.
110
00:07:19,468 --> 00:07:22,269
Councilman Braddock,
I work with him and he's a tough cookie.
111
00:07:22,439 --> 00:07:25,379
Speaking of cookies,
I've been running the campus restaurant...
112
00:07:25,539 --> 00:07:27,669
Right into the ground. Uh... Heh.
113
00:07:27,849 --> 00:07:30,325
But if you were looking for someone
who's about to get married...
114
00:07:30,349 --> 00:07:33,610
so is therefore more prepared
to make a long-term commitment...
115
00:07:33,780 --> 00:07:35,050
you might wanna choose...
116
00:07:35,220 --> 00:07:38,620
This in-debt, unreliable busboy
whose only asset...
117
00:07:38,790 --> 00:07:40,450
Okay, boys, boys, that's enough.
118
00:07:40,630 --> 00:07:43,590
Hey, no, no, no, it's okay.
I like that competitive spirit.
119
00:07:43,760 --> 00:07:47,161
Yeah, it looks like I got
two good candidates for my internship.
120
00:07:47,331 --> 00:07:48,761
- Internship?
- Yeah.
121
00:07:48,931 --> 00:07:51,131
As in non-paying job?
122
00:07:53,141 --> 00:07:54,631
Well, yeah.
123
00:07:55,011 --> 00:07:57,002
Good to meet you, Ernest.
124
00:07:58,242 --> 00:08:01,042
Hey, Will, if you're still interested,
the job is yours.
125
00:08:01,452 --> 00:08:02,812
What do you say?
126
00:08:02,982 --> 00:08:04,952
I love this guy.
127
00:08:08,593 --> 00:08:13,323
Geoffrey, tonight's the night
I meet Brown Sugar, my sweet soul sister.
128
00:08:18,604 --> 00:08:22,334
Well, you're half right. Hah!
129
00:08:23,604 --> 00:08:25,404
Master Carlton...
130
00:08:25,574 --> 00:08:29,304
there is something you should know
before you go out on your date.
131
00:08:29,474 --> 00:08:32,105
Oh, please, you're giving me advice
about a date.
132
00:08:32,445 --> 00:08:35,145
The last time you had a date,
Dad had a Jheri curl.
133
00:08:37,215 --> 00:08:39,685
What could you possibly have to tell me?
134
00:08:39,855 --> 00:08:42,186
Have a lovely time.
135
00:08:42,626 --> 00:08:43,756
Thanks.
136
00:08:46,966 --> 00:08:48,870
Carlton Banks.
137
00:08:49,372 --> 00:08:51,607
You're gonna have to speak up,
I can't hear you.
138
00:08:51,777 --> 00:08:54,273
I said I'm calling you
from my new cellular phone.
139
00:08:58,573 --> 00:09:01,550
Mr. Big Shot on his cell phone.
140
00:09:05,258 --> 00:09:07,393
Will, that's a pretty cheap
piece of equipment.
141
00:09:07,764 --> 00:09:10,571
All I'm getting is static. Speak up.
142
00:09:10,741 --> 00:09:12,736
- Is this better?
- Ow!
143
00:09:16,324 --> 00:09:20,795
Oh, Carlton, man, I got to tell you,
this is the job of my dreams.
144
00:09:20,975 --> 00:09:23,511
No wait, let me change that.
This is the job of your dreams.
145
00:09:23,681 --> 00:09:25,315
Aah!
146
00:09:25,496 --> 00:09:26,758
What are you talking about?
147
00:09:27,099 --> 00:09:28,733
Man, you know, God, I just...
148
00:09:28,903 --> 00:09:31,590
I really don't think there's any need
for me to rub it in, you know.
149
00:09:32,953 --> 00:09:34,196
Excuse me, that was a Visa. Oh.
150
00:09:35,559 --> 00:09:37,153
That's an American Express.
151
00:09:40,210 --> 00:09:41,733
I think that was a Diner's Club.
152
00:09:41,914 --> 00:09:44,009
Gosh, you know,
I'm gonna have to have them...
153
00:09:44,189 --> 00:09:47,066
turn down the air conditioning
in my little corner office.
154
00:09:47,226 --> 00:09:49,231
If you think you're getting to me,
think again.
155
00:09:49,401 --> 00:09:52,508
Look,
sour grapes is just not my kind of fruit.
156
00:09:54,824 --> 00:09:57,259
He's walking, he's walking.
157
00:09:57,430 --> 00:09:58,993
He's outside now.
158
00:09:59,174 --> 00:10:01,700
He stops, picks a little flower.
159
00:10:01,880 --> 00:10:05,478
Walks a little farther around the corner,
he looks up and he sees...
160
00:10:08,505 --> 00:10:09,768
the company Porsche.
161
00:10:13,818 --> 00:10:16,554
Whoo-hoo. Life is good.
162
00:10:23,851 --> 00:10:25,615
Hey, hey.
163
00:10:26,096 --> 00:10:28,161
Brought your Porsche back for you,
Mr. James.
164
00:10:28,331 --> 00:10:30,827
Mr. James, is my father here?
165
00:10:32,281 --> 00:10:33,544
No, sir, no sir.
166
00:10:33,714 --> 00:10:35,448
I mean, Ernie.
167
00:10:35,628 --> 00:10:36,721
- There you go.
- Yeah.
168
00:10:36,891 --> 00:10:39,868
You know, it starts to pull
a little to the left at about 90.
169
00:10:42,585 --> 00:10:45,281
Uh... Says the manual.
170
00:10:47,225 --> 00:10:49,791
Tell you what, Will,
you're a part of the company now...
171
00:10:49,972 --> 00:10:52,377
why don't you just hang on
to the keys, huh?
172
00:10:52,548 --> 00:10:54,141
Okey-doke.
173
00:10:55,254 --> 00:10:56,848
- For real?
- Yeah.
174
00:10:57,028 --> 00:11:00,476
Man, look, you keep treating me this good,
I'm gonna have to start calling you "Pops."
175
00:11:01,809 --> 00:11:04,145
Hey, listen, on your way home...
176
00:11:04,315 --> 00:11:06,590
I need you to take this
to Councilman Braddock.
177
00:11:06,761 --> 00:11:08,896
Now,
I wouldn't just let anybody handle this...
178
00:11:09,066 --> 00:11:10,730
but, see, I trust you, Will.
179
00:11:10,910 --> 00:11:13,907
Well, it's a good thing too,
because if I wanted to open it...
180
00:11:14,088 --> 00:11:16,082
these little locks
sure wouldn't stop me.
181
00:11:16,263 --> 00:11:17,786
Oh, but I think they would.
182
00:11:17,967 --> 00:11:21,876
Oh, no, man, I know brothers in Philly,
all they got to do...
183
00:11:23,850 --> 00:11:28,732
Whoo! Ow! Ow! Whoo!
184
00:11:28,902 --> 00:11:32,871
Ooh! Ooh, ooh! Ooh.
185
00:11:34,014 --> 00:11:37,522
What money? I did not see no money.
186
00:11:37,693 --> 00:11:39,296
I did not see no money.
187
00:11:41,281 --> 00:11:44,448
I didn't see a dime, nothing.
188
00:11:45,822 --> 00:11:48,108
- No, no, no. Hey, it's okay.
- I mean, I ain't seen this.
189
00:11:48,197 --> 00:11:50,142
I looked the other way when it popped.
190
00:11:50,302 --> 00:11:52,647
Hey, take it easy,
hold it, now, just take it easy.
191
00:11:52,818 --> 00:11:55,153
Hey, Will, I tell you what,
I tell you what, Will. Uh...
192
00:11:55,424 --> 00:11:56,917
Why don't you sit down, Will.
193
00:11:57,930 --> 00:11:59,263
Yeah.
194
00:12:01,608 --> 00:12:05,648
You look troubled, son.
195
00:12:05,828 --> 00:12:08,624
Troubled? No, man, you know, I mean...
196
00:12:08,805 --> 00:12:11,331
Why would I be troubled?
You know, because, I mean...
197
00:12:11,511 --> 00:12:15,350
I'm sure there's a legitimate reason
you're sending a briefcase full of money...
198
00:12:15,521 --> 00:12:17,926
to a councilman
that controls your business interest, man.
199
00:12:19,299 --> 00:12:23,038
Well, can we just say
it's a birthday present, huh?
200
00:12:23,579 --> 00:12:25,985
Yes, we could.
Yeah, yeah, we could say that.
201
00:12:26,155 --> 00:12:28,260
Because that's what I had thought,
you know.
202
00:12:28,430 --> 00:12:31,808
I figured that's what it was, you know.
I didn't see no party hats, no...
203
00:12:31,979 --> 00:12:33,783
Heeh! in there.
204
00:12:36,259 --> 00:12:37,852
Do you mind if I sit down?
205
00:12:38,033 --> 00:12:39,436
You are sitting down.
206
00:12:39,606 --> 00:12:41,070
Thank you.
207
00:12:41,511 --> 00:12:44,388
Look... Um...
208
00:12:44,548 --> 00:12:46,583
Listen, I don't think that I'll be able...
209
00:12:46,763 --> 00:12:50,171
to make your little delivery for you,
Mr. James.
210
00:12:50,502 --> 00:12:51,604
See... Uh...
211
00:12:51,775 --> 00:12:53,609
Ooh. Pshh.
212
00:12:53,779 --> 00:12:55,584
They had called me.
213
00:12:56,155 --> 00:12:57,959
From... Because the other time...
214
00:12:58,129 --> 00:13:01,978
you know, remember the car had skid
and then because it had rained.
215
00:13:04,484 --> 00:13:06,118
I'll just go ahead, okay?
216
00:13:06,288 --> 00:13:07,692
Oh, oh, oh. Not so fast, Will.
217
00:13:09,566 --> 00:13:11,801
I'm not gonna let you leave this office...
218
00:13:11,982 --> 00:13:14,147
No! No!
219
00:13:14,688 --> 00:13:16,753
Oh, no! No!
220
00:13:16,923 --> 00:13:18,326
Hey, what are you gonna do?
221
00:13:18,497 --> 00:13:20,491
Until I give you this bonus.
222
00:13:21,404 --> 00:13:23,208
Yeah.
223
00:13:23,378 --> 00:13:26,385
I just want you to know
how much I value your work around here.
224
00:13:29,272 --> 00:13:30,765
Whoo. Heh.
225
00:13:30,936 --> 00:13:32,379
- That much, huh?
- Yeah.
226
00:13:34,785 --> 00:13:37,060
- More money, more money, more money.
- Yeah, yeah.
227
00:13:37,230 --> 00:13:40,869
And just saying you're...
You know, you're about to be married.
228
00:13:41,039 --> 00:13:42,573
And I'm sure you can use it.
229
00:13:45,690 --> 00:13:48,066
Look, um, I don't know, man.
230
00:13:48,226 --> 00:13:50,100
You know... Hey, I haven't earned it.
231
00:13:50,271 --> 00:13:53,438
Oh, but you will. Yeah, you will.
232
00:13:53,618 --> 00:13:55,783
Now, here. Now, take this.
233
00:13:55,954 --> 00:13:59,302
Okay? And grab the briefcase here.
234
00:13:59,472 --> 00:14:02,409
All right, and run along. Okay, son?
235
00:14:04,153 --> 00:14:05,987
- All right.
- Yeah.
236
00:14:06,158 --> 00:14:08,222
- I'll go ahead.
- Okay.
237
00:14:08,603 --> 00:14:10,868
- I'm going.
- Okay.
238
00:14:12,242 --> 00:14:14,076
Straight to hell.
239
00:14:19,869 --> 00:14:24,079
I'm so excited.
Tonight I finally meet my mystery man.
240
00:14:24,250 --> 00:14:25,883
This much happiness should be illegal.
241
00:14:30,033 --> 00:14:32,476
I believe it is.
242
00:14:33,577 --> 00:14:36,010
Brown Sugar, here I come.
243
00:14:36,180 --> 00:14:38,784
Why, what have we here?
244
00:14:38,954 --> 00:14:41,517
Ha. It's 1995, Geoffrey.
245
00:14:41,827 --> 00:14:45,231
When a fella goes on a date,
he better carry protection.
246
00:14:46,943 --> 00:14:48,165
Sani-Seat.
247
00:14:50,017 --> 00:14:53,251
Oh, and I'm also bringing
my secret weapon.
248
00:14:53,421 --> 00:14:57,326
That's right, Tony Orlando with Dawn.
249
00:15:02,642 --> 00:15:04,905
- Will?
- What money?
250
00:15:05,646 --> 00:15:07,448
Will, what's that under your jacket?
251
00:15:07,618 --> 00:15:08,850
Huh?
252
00:15:09,020 --> 00:15:11,893
Oh, it's nothing. You know,
it's just a little, old briefcase.
253
00:15:12,063 --> 00:15:15,998
You know, but it's not really important,
because there ain't nothing in it, you know.
254
00:15:16,168 --> 00:15:19,512
Will, as soon as you stop clowning around,
I need to ask you a question.
255
00:15:19,683 --> 00:15:21,645
If I kissed you on the first date...
256
00:15:21,815 --> 00:15:24,919
would you blush and giggle
or knee me in the groin?
257
00:15:26,130 --> 00:15:28,563
I'd knee you in the groin,
then I'd blush and giggle.
258
00:15:30,636 --> 00:15:32,198
Now, get away from me.
259
00:15:32,378 --> 00:15:36,443
- G, where's Uncle Phil?
- Follow the Ding Dong debris.
260
00:15:38,015 --> 00:15:40,788
Hey, Uncle Phil.
261
00:15:40,958 --> 00:15:44,052
- I need to talk to you about Ernest.
- Oh, okay.
262
00:15:44,663 --> 00:15:47,066
He asked me to deliver this
to Councilman Braddock.
263
00:15:47,236 --> 00:15:48,607
Well...
264
00:15:50,309 --> 00:15:53,583
- Oh, my God.
- I know, it flipped me too.
265
00:15:53,754 --> 00:15:57,458
Councilman Braddock
is a Tony Orlando and Dawn fan.
266
00:15:57,628 --> 00:15:59,761
He should be run out of office.
267
00:16:00,632 --> 00:16:03,195
Will, what is the problem?
268
00:16:03,375 --> 00:16:04,847
Oh, my... Carlton.
269
00:16:06,449 --> 00:16:07,470
G, where's Carlton at?
270
00:16:07,650 --> 00:16:12,997
He left for Chez Lani Restaurant
to meet his dream date.
271
00:16:14,198 --> 00:16:16,431
Oh, man, he's made a terrible mistake.
272
00:16:16,601 --> 00:16:20,045
Heh. You don't know the half of it.
273
00:16:27,664 --> 00:16:30,297
- Hilary?
- Carlton, what are you doing here?
274
00:16:30,468 --> 00:16:31,769
I'm meeting my date.
275
00:16:32,170 --> 00:16:35,043
- Wait a minute, what are you doing here?
- I'm meeting my date.
276
00:16:35,213 --> 00:16:37,947
What a small world. Now, get away.
277
00:16:38,958 --> 00:16:40,950
Hershey's Kiss
should be here any minute.
278
00:16:41,120 --> 00:16:42,422
Hershey's Kiss?
279
00:16:42,592 --> 00:16:45,325
Oh, for crying out loud, Hilary,
I'm Hershey's Kiss.
280
00:16:45,606 --> 00:16:48,539
You too? Well, what are the odds?
281
00:16:49,210 --> 00:16:50,732
Hilary, work with me here.
282
00:16:50,912 --> 00:16:54,617
I'm Hershey's Kiss, you're Brown Sugar,
we're here to date each other.
283
00:16:54,787 --> 00:16:56,819
What are you saying?
284
00:16:57,560 --> 00:17:00,434
I'm dating my own sister.
285
00:17:06,151 --> 00:17:10,055
Is my favorite country Western song.
286
00:17:12,328 --> 00:17:16,923
Oy. I brought all this
babe bait for nothing.
287
00:17:21,809 --> 00:17:25,013
Well, just because we're related
doesn't mean we can't have dinner.
288
00:17:25,183 --> 00:17:27,887
- This is my money. What are you doing?
- Let go. Come on.
289
00:17:28,057 --> 00:17:29,358
Hey, would you guys stop it?
290
00:17:29,529 --> 00:17:32,092
Carlton, you took my briefcase by mistake.
Give it back.
291
00:17:32,272 --> 00:17:35,005
Oh, forget it, finders keepers.
292
00:17:35,716 --> 00:17:38,179
All right, all right.
Would you just stop it. Stop it.
293
00:17:38,349 --> 00:17:40,722
Now, would you two get a grip.
294
00:17:40,892 --> 00:17:43,325
Now. Hilary, get off it.
Get off it, get off it.
295
00:17:43,495 --> 00:17:45,017
Stop it. Stop.
296
00:17:45,197 --> 00:17:47,330
Now, I gotta go show this to Uncle Phil.
297
00:17:52,817 --> 00:17:57,692
Uh... One more thing, y'all two dating?
298
00:18:03,409 --> 00:18:04,871
Hey, Uncle Phil.
299
00:18:05,412 --> 00:18:09,176
Where the hell have you been?
Ernest just called and he was very upset.
300
00:18:09,617 --> 00:18:12,060
You were supposed to make
a very important delivery.
301
00:18:12,220 --> 00:18:13,521
I got it right here, Uncle...
302
00:18:13,692 --> 00:18:16,225
Yeah, right here
is not where it's supposed to be.
303
00:18:16,405 --> 00:18:19,969
All right, look, Uncle Phil,
first of all, I'm quitting that job.
304
00:18:20,139 --> 00:18:24,174
- Let me tell you, man, this dude, he...
- Hey, hold on, hold on, you're quitting?
305
00:18:24,354 --> 00:18:27,378
After just three days?
I can't believe this.
306
00:18:27,829 --> 00:18:30,392
- Uncle Phil, if you would just listen...
- No, you listen.
307
00:18:30,562 --> 00:18:33,365
This is not just another one
of your little screwups, Will.
308
00:18:33,535 --> 00:18:35,738
You're jeopardizing my friendship
with Ernest.
309
00:18:35,908 --> 00:18:38,471
Right, but Uncle Phil,
what I'm trying to say to you...
310
00:18:38,652 --> 00:18:40,644
No, no, listen to me, okay?
311
00:18:40,824 --> 00:18:42,947
Look, I don't have a lot of close friends.
312
00:18:43,127 --> 00:18:46,121
So if you're gonna quit this job,
I wanna know why.
313
00:18:46,902 --> 00:18:48,804
All right, Uncle Phil...
314
00:18:51,307 --> 00:18:53,339
I'd rather not say.
315
00:18:53,580 --> 00:18:55,171
I'm sorry.
316
00:18:56,093 --> 00:18:58,686
Sorry doesn't even begin to describe you.
317
00:19:02,300 --> 00:19:03,786
Hey, Phillip.
318
00:19:04,096 --> 00:19:07,218
- Am I interrupting something?
- No, nothing you don't already know.
319
00:19:07,398 --> 00:19:10,551
I'm just having a little discussion
with Will about this situation.
320
00:19:10,720 --> 00:19:13,344
Oh, well, look, now,
let's not overreact. Okay?
321
00:19:13,523 --> 00:19:16,177
No, look, as far as I'm concerned,
there's no excuse.
322
00:19:16,347 --> 00:19:19,110
I think some kind of disciplinary action
is in order.
323
00:19:19,280 --> 00:19:22,931
Hey, lighten up.
It was only $20,000 in there.
324
00:19:23,111 --> 00:19:26,293
These days that's hardly enough
to even be considered a bribe.
325
00:19:27,800 --> 00:19:29,196
- Excuse me?
- Oh, look, look.
326
00:19:29,366 --> 00:19:33,486
If it's your nephew you're worried about,
forget it. It's not like he delivered it.
327
00:19:33,656 --> 00:19:34,853
Yeah, that's right.
328
00:19:35,023 --> 00:19:38,953
And your bonus is in there,
and the keys to your little filthy Porsche.
329
00:19:39,123 --> 00:19:43,942
And if my drawers wasn't so dirty, I'd
snatch this suit and give it to you too.
330
00:19:48,002 --> 00:19:50,027
I can't believe what I'm hearing.
331
00:19:51,364 --> 00:19:52,631
What are you doing, Ernie?
332
00:19:52,801 --> 00:19:55,425
Hey, I tell you what the brother's doing.
333
00:19:56,392 --> 00:19:58,617
I'll tell you later.
I'll just write it down.
334
00:20:00,153 --> 00:20:03,246
Oh, now, come on, Moose.
Now, you know the way of the world.
335
00:20:03,416 --> 00:20:06,967
You can't name me one man who's
become a success without bending the law.
336
00:20:07,147 --> 00:20:08,304
Oh, yes, I can.
337
00:20:08,643 --> 00:20:10,170
Me.
338
00:20:10,708 --> 00:20:12,574
Until now.
339
00:20:13,043 --> 00:20:15,497
Now, you take this
and get out of my house.
340
00:20:15,667 --> 00:20:19,218
Hey, even if he would have gotten caught,
it wouldn't have been that bad.
341
00:20:19,398 --> 00:20:22,381
Oh, yes,
it would have been that bad for you.
342
00:20:22,560 --> 00:20:24,286
Now, get out.
343
00:20:32,447 --> 00:20:34,702
You were always so damn naive.
344
00:20:37,974 --> 00:20:39,091
That's right.
345
00:20:39,540 --> 00:20:43,661
You best to press off or you'll get
straight molly whopped up in here.
346
00:20:47,392 --> 00:20:49,876
I should have wrote that one down too,
right?
347
00:20:54,715 --> 00:20:56,510
Look, I'm sorry, Uncle Phil.
348
00:20:56,680 --> 00:21:01,199
No, no, Will, I apologize to you.
349
00:21:02,875 --> 00:21:05,200
Yeah, I know that was your boy
and everything, man.
350
00:21:05,369 --> 00:21:08,292
Hey, listen, I know exactly how you feel.
351
00:21:08,462 --> 00:21:11,395
It's just like when I found out
that Kermit the Frog...
352
00:21:11,555 --> 00:21:15,346
was just a piece of green felt
with somebody's hand up his butt.
353
00:21:19,217 --> 00:21:21,012
Something like that, son.
354
00:21:21,412 --> 00:21:22,898
Good night.
355
00:21:25,372 --> 00:21:28,335
Hey, hey, hey.
Uncle Phil, come on, man, come on.
356
00:21:28,505 --> 00:21:30,430
The night is still young, man.
357
00:21:30,600 --> 00:21:32,795
- Hey, come on, come on.
- I don't feel like this, Will.
358
00:21:34,730 --> 00:21:36,731
I know you want to leave me
359
00:21:36,755 --> 00:21:40,477
But I refuse to let you go
360
00:21:40,656 --> 00:21:44,507
If I have to beg
And plead for your sympathy
361
00:21:44,677 --> 00:21:46,393
I don't mind
'Cause you mean that much to me
362
00:21:46,542 --> 00:21:48,478
Come on, Moose, let that caboose loose.
363
00:21:48,637 --> 00:21:51,540
If I have to beg
And plead for your sympathy
364
00:21:51,700 --> 00:21:53,097
You stupid. Ha-ha.
365
00:21:53,266 --> 00:21:55,591
- Please don't leave me, girl
CHORUS: Don't you go
28713
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