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1
00:00:01,312 --> 00:00:04,168
[instrumental music]
2
00:00:05,366 --> 00:00:07,143
Hey, G, what is your idea of
3
00:00:07,163 --> 00:00:09,250
like, the perfect wedding?
4
00:00:09,270 --> 00:00:11,317
Any one at which I'm not serving
hors d'oeuvres
5
00:00:11,338 --> 00:00:13,265
or pouring champagne.
6
00:00:14,352 --> 00:00:18,286
Wow! Then you're going to think
ours sucks.
7
00:00:18,306 --> 00:00:20,183
- Hey, Uncle Phil, what's up?
- How you doin', Will?
8
00:00:20,204 --> 00:00:21,282
Uh, remember Lisa's pop's
comin' in
9
00:00:21,301 --> 00:00:22,330
from Cleveland this
afternoon
10
00:00:22,350 --> 00:00:24,317
so don't be late for dinner.
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00:00:24,338 --> 00:00:27,123
[chuckles]
My fault.
12
00:00:27,143 --> 00:00:30,359
Second there, I forgot who I was
talking to, you know that?
13
00:00:31,077 --> 00:00:33,144
Well, I'm actually looking
forward to meeting him.
14
00:00:33,164 --> 00:00:35,251
We'll probably discuss
the wedding while he's here.
15
00:00:35,271 --> 00:00:37,158
In fact, I have finished
the guest list.
16
00:00:37,177 --> 00:00:41,071
And, good news, I've kept it
small. Just 300 people.
17
00:00:43,198 --> 00:00:44,286
Three hundred?
18
00:00:44,306 --> 00:00:47,112
Who're you inviting,
the entire Wayans family?
19
00:00:49,170 --> 00:00:51,077
Come on, Uncle Phil,
who are these people?
20
00:00:51,097 --> 00:00:53,223
Well, they're just, you
know,
business associates
21
00:00:53,243 --> 00:00:55,110
uh, contributors to my campaign
22
00:00:55,130 --> 00:00:58,216
and people I need
to suck up to.
23
00:00:58,236 --> 00:01:01,181
Uh, how about the people
that I want to invite?
24
00:01:01,200 --> 00:01:04,195
- Like who?
- Uh, how about my mom?
25
00:01:05,180 --> 00:01:06,317
Oops.
26
00:01:07,241 --> 00:01:09,251
[theme song]
27
00:01:09,271 --> 00:01:11,383
♪ Now this is a story
all about how ♪
28
00:01:11,404 --> 00:01:13,475
♪ My life got flipped
turned upside down ♪
29
00:01:13,494 --> 00:01:16,357
♪ And I'd like to take a minute
just sit right there ♪
30
00:01:16,378 --> 00:01:17,464
♪ I'll tell you
how I became the prince ♪
31
00:01:17,484 --> 00:01:19,515
♪ Of a town called bel-air ♪
32
00:01:28,460 --> 00:01:30,663
♪ In West Philadelphia
born and raised ♪
33
00:01:30,682 --> 00:01:33,606
♪ On the playground is where
I spent most of my days ♪
34
00:01:33,628 --> 00:01:35,638
♪ Chillin' out maxin'
relaxin' all cool ♪
35
00:01:35,658 --> 00:01:37,770
♪ And all shootin' some b-ball
outside of the school ♪
36
00:01:37,789 --> 00:01:40,754
♪ When a couple of guys
who were up to no good ♪
37
00:01:40,774 --> 00:01:42,774
♪ Started makin' trouble
in my neighborhood ♪
38
00:01:42,795 --> 00:01:44,958
♪ I got in one little fight
and my mom got scared ♪
39
00:01:45,689 --> 00:01:46,765
♪ And said you're movin'
with your auntie ♪
40
00:01:46,784 --> 00:01:47,891
♪ And uncle in Bel-Air ♪
41
00:01:47,911 --> 00:01:49,921
♪ I whistled for a cab
and when it came near ♪
42
00:01:49,941 --> 00:01:52,845
♪ The license plate said fresh
and it had dice in the mirror ♪
43
00:01:52,865 --> 00:01:54,926
♪ If anything I can say
that this cab was rare ♪
44
00:01:54,948 --> 00:01:58,998
♪ But I thought nah forget it
yo holmes to Bel-Air ♪
45
00:01:59,018 --> 00:02:02,073
♪ I pulled up to a house
about seven or eight ♪
46
00:02:02,094 --> 00:02:05,079
♪ And I yelled to the cabbie
yo holmes smell you later ♪
47
00:02:05,100 --> 00:02:07,130
♪ I looked at my kingdom
I was finally there ♪
48
00:02:07,151 --> 00:02:10,308
♪ To sit on my throne
as the prince of Bel-Air ♪
49
00:02:24,500 --> 00:02:27,306
(Will)
'Uncle Phil, the thing is
we-we really didn't expect'
50
00:02:27,327 --> 00:02:28,485
all of these people, I thought
we said that we were gonna
51
00:02:28,505 --> 00:02:30,302
have the wedding in the garden.
52
00:02:30,322 --> 00:02:31,440
It is gonna be
in the garden, Will.
53
00:02:31,459 --> 00:02:33,296
The garden at the
Bel-Air Country Club.
54
00:02:33,317 --> 00:02:35,474
Uh, gee, you know, I-I kind of
miss the good old days
55
00:02:35,494 --> 00:02:37,481
when you were against
this wedding.
56
00:02:37,501 --> 00:02:40,307
[chuckles]
Ah, I see the problem.
57
00:02:40,326 --> 00:02:43,331
See, you're under the impression
that this wedding is for you.
58
00:02:43,352 --> 00:02:46,297
[southern accent]
Oh, what the hell
was I thinkin'?
59
00:02:47,486 --> 00:02:49,473
Get this straight, son..
60
00:02:49,492 --> 00:02:51,459
...my cash, my party.
61
00:02:51,479 --> 00:02:55,224
And I'm going to network
like it's 1999.
62
00:02:57,409 --> 00:03:01,383
G, does anybody
in this house care what I want?
63
00:03:01,403 --> 00:03:02,462
No.
64
00:03:08,273 --> 00:03:09,421
What are you guys doing?
65
00:03:09,442 --> 00:03:12,218
Hilary's being audited
by the IRS.
66
00:03:12,237 --> 00:03:13,295
Thanks to you.
67
00:03:13,316 --> 00:03:14,374
Carlton said he could
save me money
68
00:03:14,393 --> 00:03:16,290
so I let him do my taxes.
69
00:03:16,311 --> 00:03:18,238
Relax, I'll take care of it.
70
00:03:18,257 --> 00:03:20,184
I don't understand any of this.
71
00:03:20,205 --> 00:03:21,274
I have money invested
in companies
72
00:03:21,294 --> 00:03:23,231
I've never even heard of.
73
00:03:23,250 --> 00:03:26,235
- Like what?
- Like Carlton Co.
74
00:03:27,433 --> 00:03:29,410
I said I'll take care of it.
75
00:03:29,430 --> 00:03:31,177
Look, I don't wanna scare
you
76
00:03:31,198 --> 00:03:33,365
but these bureaucrats
are heartless.
77
00:03:33,384 --> 00:03:34,452
Well, what should I do?
78
00:03:35,171 --> 00:03:37,288
Smile, be polite
and wear a spandex dress
79
00:03:37,309 --> 00:03:40,175
that makes them sit up and say,
"Aye, chihuahua."
80
00:03:43,300 --> 00:03:45,357
Carlton, that's terrible,
Hilary would never
81
00:03:45,376 --> 00:03:47,223
degrade herself like that.
82
00:03:47,243 --> 00:03:49,250
Absolutely not.
83
00:03:49,270 --> 00:03:52,195
[sighs]
I'll wear leather.
84
00:03:54,153 --> 00:03:55,271
Why don't you just wear
hot pants
85
00:03:55,290 --> 00:03:57,397
and a bustier with two
big cones on it?
86
00:03:57,417 --> 00:04:00,253
Before Memorial Day? Pfft!
87
00:04:00,274 --> 00:04:03,299
[instrumental music]
88
00:04:04,397 --> 00:04:06,284
- Huh? Whoo!
- Oh.
89
00:04:06,303 --> 00:04:08,220
I don't want you to worry, baby.
90
00:04:08,240 --> 00:04:10,127
It's your wedding,
so you two should get
91
00:04:10,147 --> 00:04:11,246
exactly what you want.
92
00:04:11,266 --> 00:04:13,163
Besides,
it's the father of the bride
93
00:04:13,184 --> 00:04:14,262
who throws the wedding.
94
00:04:14,282 --> 00:04:16,209
So, I-I'll set Will's
uncle straight.
95
00:04:16,228 --> 00:04:17,356
- Right.
- Oh, thank you, daddy.
96
00:04:17,376 --> 00:04:19,263
- Oh.
- Mwah!
97
00:04:19,283 --> 00:04:21,270
Yeah, thank you, daddy.
98
00:04:24,116 --> 00:04:26,313
Uh, I was raised in France.
You know, we..
99
00:04:27,312 --> 00:04:30,098
Oh, hey, here's the man now.
100
00:04:30,118 --> 00:04:31,206
- What's up, Uncle Phil?
- Hey, son.
101
00:04:31,225 --> 00:04:33,082
Uncle Phil, this is Lisa's
father, Fred.
102
00:04:33,102 --> 00:04:34,230
Oh, so this is Fred.
103
00:04:34,251 --> 00:04:35,310
It's a pleasure
to finally meet you.
104
00:04:35,329 --> 00:04:37,176
- Oh, same here.
- Cool.
105
00:04:37,196 --> 00:04:39,083
Enough of the small talk.
Look, uh..
106
00:04:39,104 --> 00:04:42,089
Fred has something
t-that he wants to say to you.
107
00:04:42,109 --> 00:04:44,256
Right?
You know, about the garden?
108
00:04:44,276 --> 00:04:47,162
Oh, yes, Phil,
your garden is beautiful.
109
00:04:47,180 --> 00:04:49,167
What are these, perennials?
110
00:04:49,187 --> 00:04:51,324
Those are flowers, Fred.
111
00:04:52,044 --> 00:04:56,248
You know, like a bride
carries at a wedding.
112
00:04:56,267 --> 00:04:58,294
Oh, that reminds me, Will,
I was at the club
113
00:04:58,313 --> 00:05:01,099
so I put down
a deposit on the rose garden.
114
00:05:01,119 --> 00:05:02,277
We're all set.
115
00:05:07,131 --> 00:05:08,299
You know, now would be
as good a time as any.
116
00:05:09,018 --> 00:05:10,296
Just dive right in here.
117
00:05:11,015 --> 00:05:14,140
Ladies and gentlemen, Fred.
118
00:05:14,159 --> 00:05:16,236
That's might generous of you,
Phil, but as the father
119
00:05:16,257 --> 00:05:19,232
of the bride,
I'll take care of the wedding.
120
00:05:19,252 --> 00:05:23,016
[chuckles]
I understand where you're
coming from, Fred
121
00:05:23,036 --> 00:05:25,173
but since I have to invite
several hundred guests
122
00:05:25,192 --> 00:05:27,009
I think it's only fair
that I shoulder
123
00:05:27,030 --> 00:05:29,077
the financial
responsibility.
124
00:05:30,085 --> 00:05:32,102
Well, I appreciate that, Phil
125
00:05:32,121 --> 00:05:34,068
but I've been talking
with the kids and it seems to me
126
00:05:34,089 --> 00:05:37,065
that they have their hearts set
on something a little smaller.
127
00:05:37,085 --> 00:05:40,090
- You go, Fred.
- Like family and friends.
128
00:05:40,109 --> 00:05:42,006
- Go, Fred.
- In a garden.
129
00:05:42,027 --> 00:05:43,195
- Go, Fred.
- In Cleveland.
130
00:05:43,215 --> 00:05:45,961
Whoa, Fred.
131
00:05:45,980 --> 00:05:48,037
[instrumental music]
132
00:05:48,058 --> 00:05:50,993
What was I thinking
wearing this outfit?
133
00:05:52,021 --> 00:05:54,028
I look like a call girl.
134
00:05:54,049 --> 00:05:57,054
But a very expensive call girl.
135
00:05:58,151 --> 00:05:59,968
Thanks.
136
00:05:59,989 --> 00:06:01,976
Oh, but this just doesn't
feel right.
137
00:06:01,996 --> 00:06:06,020
Well, Hilary,
y-you can't leave.
138
00:06:06,040 --> 00:06:08,057
There's something
I haven't told you.
139
00:06:08,076 --> 00:06:10,023
You could go to prison for this.
140
00:06:10,044 --> 00:06:13,089
Oh, that's ridiculous,
it isn't that short.
141
00:06:14,985 --> 00:06:16,094
Hilary, grow up, we're dealing
142
00:06:16,114 --> 00:06:18,101
with the United States
government here.
143
00:06:18,121 --> 00:06:21,006
Now hike up that skirt, sister.
144
00:06:21,027 --> 00:06:23,014
Move it.
145
00:06:23,033 --> 00:06:25,069
I'm waiting.
146
00:06:27,075 --> 00:06:28,961
[grunts]
147
00:06:32,049 --> 00:06:35,047
Oh, excuse me, when will
Agent Dailey be with us?
148
00:06:35,067 --> 00:06:37,052
I'm Agent Dailey.
149
00:06:39,208 --> 00:06:42,989
Well, this is a serious
waste
of a Wonderbra.
150
00:06:46,107 --> 00:06:48,043
And for a talk show hostess
151
00:06:48,064 --> 00:06:52,055
a home gymnasium is a
justifiable business expense.
152
00:06:52,075 --> 00:06:55,154
What about you, Mr. Banks,
do you work out?
153
00:06:55,174 --> 00:06:57,059
Uh..
154
00:06:57,078 --> 00:06:59,114
Well, I try to keep fit.
155
00:07:01,149 --> 00:07:03,305
Looks to me like you succeeded.
156
00:07:04,189 --> 00:07:05,242
Ooh.
157
00:07:07,106 --> 00:07:10,044
I could use something cold to
drink. Can I get you
anything?
158
00:07:10,064 --> 00:07:12,280
- Uh, nothing for me.
- Well, I'll have a..
159
00:07:17,175 --> 00:07:19,160
What an odd duck.
160
00:07:20,243 --> 00:07:22,139
She's just not focusing.
161
00:07:22,158 --> 00:07:25,096
Oh, she's focusing, alright,
on your chest.
162
00:07:25,117 --> 00:07:26,350
I mean, as unbelievable
and disgusting
163
00:07:26,370 --> 00:07:29,238
as it sounds, she wants you.
164
00:07:31,163 --> 00:07:33,299
That's ridiculous.
165
00:07:33,320 --> 00:07:35,315
You know,
this audit is a lot more
166
00:07:35,335 --> 00:07:37,281
complicated than I expected.
167
00:07:37,300 --> 00:07:40,148
Perhaps, we should continue
this tomorrow.
168
00:07:40,169 --> 00:07:43,127
Oh, but tomorrow's Sunday.
I'm getting a chemical peel.
169
00:07:44,310 --> 00:07:46,426
Oh, can't miss that.
170
00:07:48,261 --> 00:07:50,367
Mr. Banks and I
can handle this without you.
171
00:07:50,387 --> 00:07:52,273
- We can?
- Yes.
172
00:07:52,292 --> 00:07:57,185
I wanna just get together
and crunch some numbers.
173
00:07:57,206 --> 00:07:58,420
[laughing]
174
00:08:01,428 --> 00:08:03,374
You know, Phil,
i-it sounds to me like
175
00:08:03,393 --> 00:08:05,358
you don't think
my hometown is good enough
176
00:08:05,378 --> 00:08:08,236
for you and your
ritzy friends.
177
00:08:10,212 --> 00:08:13,441
Hey, man, why you ain't tell me
you invited the Ritzy's?
178
00:08:16,228 --> 00:08:18,505
Fred, let me simplify
this for you.
179
00:08:19,228 --> 00:08:21,354
Now, ha, ha,
if flying out here
180
00:08:21,373 --> 00:08:23,348
is a problem
for you and your guests
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00:08:23,368 --> 00:08:25,534
don't worry about it,
it's on me.
182
00:08:26,256 --> 00:08:27,480
I'm gonna be on you too,
you keep throwing
183
00:08:27,501 --> 00:08:31,342
your money in my face,
you fat cat.
184
00:08:31,362 --> 00:08:32,485
Okay. Ding, ding, ding!
185
00:08:32,505 --> 00:08:35,433
All sumo wrestlers
to the showers!
186
00:08:38,491 --> 00:08:41,580
I'll have you know, I put
$10,000 aside for this wedding.
187
00:08:42,301 --> 00:08:44,427
Please, that wouldn't even cover
the invitations.
188
00:08:44,447 --> 00:08:45,470
Okay, okay.
189
00:08:45,491 --> 00:08:48,509
♪ Kumbaya my Lord ♪
190
00:08:48,529 --> 00:08:50,555
♪ Everybody Kumbaya ♪
191
00:08:50,574 --> 00:08:54,395
Now, there is nothing wrong
with bein' a hardworkin' man.
192
00:08:54,416 --> 00:08:55,569
Have you ever done
an honest day's work?
193
00:08:55,588 --> 00:08:58,346
I happen to be a judge.
194
00:08:58,366 --> 00:08:59,619
I'll take that as a no.
195
00:09:00,342 --> 00:09:01,475
Now, just wait a minute,
you guys.
196
00:09:01,495 --> 00:09:03,440
Yeah, this thing's getting
completely outta hand.
197
00:09:03,461 --> 00:09:04,494
You just stay out of this, Will.
198
00:09:04,513 --> 00:09:06,378
Yeah, this does not concern you.
199
00:09:06,398 --> 00:09:09,437
And you, you can forget
about coming to Cleveland.
200
00:09:09,458 --> 00:09:11,523
Because a big soft marshmallow
man like you
201
00:09:11,543 --> 00:09:13,568
you wouldn't last
five seconds.
202
00:09:13,589 --> 00:09:15,414
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.
203
00:09:15,433 --> 00:09:16,526
Oh, yeah?
204
00:09:16,546 --> 00:09:17,589
Well, I'd like to see you
try to fit in
205
00:09:17,610 --> 00:09:19,536
down at the Country Club
206
00:09:19,555 --> 00:09:21,440
crushing beer cans on your head
207
00:09:21,460 --> 00:09:24,689
tellin' everybody why Sears
is the place to buy tires.
208
00:09:26,515 --> 00:09:28,671
Oh, I know you don't wanna talk
about tires.
209
00:09:28,690 --> 00:09:31,438
Oh, no, you don't.
You wanna take this outside?
210
00:09:31,458 --> 00:09:32,651
- 'We are outside.'
- 'Fine.'
211
00:09:32,672 --> 00:09:35,691
- 'You wanna take it inside?'
- 'Inside and upstairs..'
212
00:09:35,710 --> 00:09:38,608
[instrumental music]
213
00:09:38,628 --> 00:09:40,634
[doorbell rings]
214
00:09:42,519 --> 00:09:44,675
(Geoffrey)
'I'm coming!'
215
00:09:45,758 --> 00:09:47,713
Coming.
216
00:09:48,606 --> 00:09:50,491
Just my luck.
217
00:09:50,511 --> 00:09:52,607
Whitney Houston and I
had just survived
218
00:09:52,627 --> 00:09:55,565
a nuclear holocaust.
219
00:09:55,586 --> 00:09:59,618
And now I was the last man
on Earth.
220
00:09:59,637 --> 00:10:01,783
- What is going on?
- Where's Mr. Moneybags?
221
00:10:02,516 --> 00:10:03,729
Hey, what do you mean
by disturbing my family
222
00:10:03,749 --> 00:10:04,792
this early in the morning?
223
00:10:04,811 --> 00:10:06,566
You call 5:30 early?
224
00:10:06,586 --> 00:10:08,612
Hell, the day is half gone.
225
00:10:08,633 --> 00:10:09,706
And so is my little girl.
226
00:10:09,726 --> 00:10:11,781
- What are you talking about?
- Here.
227
00:10:15,632 --> 00:10:17,718
- Oh, my God.
- What is it?
228
00:10:17,737 --> 00:10:19,823
Will and Lisa have run off
to Las Vegas.
229
00:10:19,843 --> 00:10:22,570
They've eloped.
230
00:10:22,591 --> 00:10:24,646
Well, goodnight.
231
00:10:31,787 --> 00:10:32,880
Forget it, Hilary.
232
00:10:33,602 --> 00:10:34,765
There's no way
I'm gonna cheapen myself
233
00:10:34,784 --> 00:10:37,873
to satisfy the urges of that
she-devil down at the IRS.
234
00:10:37,893 --> 00:10:39,849
Excuse me,
but aren't you the guy
235
00:10:39,870 --> 00:10:41,685
who ran his picture
in the personals
236
00:10:41,705 --> 00:10:44,763
with the word "please"
written under it.
237
00:10:44,782 --> 00:10:46,858
Hey, I met a nice gal
through that ad.
238
00:10:46,879 --> 00:10:49,707
In-in some cultures,
it's considered a real
turn-on
239
00:10:49,727 --> 00:10:51,803
for a woman to have
a sloped forehead.
240
00:10:53,797 --> 00:10:55,733
Oh. Did you guys hear?
241
00:10:55,754 --> 00:10:57,749
- Will and Lisa eloped.
- Really?
242
00:10:57,770 --> 00:10:59,835
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Carlton, if you don't do this
243
00:10:59,854 --> 00:11:02,692
I'm gonna tell daddy
all about Carlton Co.
244
00:11:02,712 --> 00:11:04,959
Fine. N-next time
you wanna sit up all night
245
00:11:04,979 --> 00:11:07,736
and girl talk, don't call
me.
246
00:11:08,891 --> 00:11:11,789
[sighs]
I'm definitely
the Marilyn Munster
247
00:11:11,809 --> 00:11:13,724
of this family.
248
00:11:13,743 --> 00:11:15,749
You know, this is
all your fault, Fred.
249
00:11:15,769 --> 00:11:16,892
If you'd just
listened to those kids
250
00:11:16,913 --> 00:11:18,016
they probably wouldn't
have run off.
251
00:11:18,737 --> 00:11:20,021
Me? You're the one
that wanted them
252
00:11:20,743 --> 00:11:23,821
to get married
in a damn sand trap.
253
00:11:23,842 --> 00:11:25,928
The Bel-Air Country Club
does not happen to be a..
254
00:11:25,948 --> 00:11:28,826
Excuse me, excuse me
for interrupting
255
00:11:28,846 --> 00:11:31,895
but don't you think it's time
for you two to call a truce?
256
00:11:31,914 --> 00:11:33,779
Both of your kids are married.
257
00:11:33,799 --> 00:11:35,895
Like it or not,
we're all family now.
258
00:11:41,069 --> 00:11:43,887
You know..
259
00:11:43,908 --> 00:11:45,854
...she's right, Fred.
260
00:11:45,874 --> 00:11:47,087
Yeah, I'm sorry.
261
00:11:47,809 --> 00:11:50,015
My poor Yvonne,
she always wanted Lisa
262
00:11:50,035 --> 00:11:51,920
to get married
in a big church wedding.
263
00:11:51,940 --> 00:11:54,879
She's probably turning
in her grave right now.
264
00:11:54,899 --> 00:11:56,092
You're lucky she's dead.
265
00:11:57,917 --> 00:11:58,980
What?
266
00:11:58,999 --> 00:12:01,897
Uh, uh, I mean,
my wife is still alive.
267
00:12:01,918 --> 00:12:03,854
What?
268
00:12:03,873 --> 00:12:06,861
She's gonna kill me
when she finds out about this.
269
00:12:06,881 --> 00:12:07,884
Ah.
270
00:12:10,994 --> 00:12:12,889
You want a beer?
271
00:12:12,908 --> 00:12:15,104
Actually, I'd prefer
a white wine spritzer.
272
00:12:16,960 --> 00:12:20,009
Oh, I'm sorry
we weren't at the wedding
273
00:12:20,028 --> 00:12:22,104
but, you know,
two kids running off
274
00:12:22,125 --> 00:12:24,000
in the middle of the night
like that.
275
00:12:24,020 --> 00:12:27,941
- Kind of romantic, huh? Ha, ha.
- Yeah, and a whole lot cheaper.
276
00:12:27,960 --> 00:12:28,943
Hey.
277
00:12:28,963 --> 00:12:31,129
[both laugh]
278
00:12:31,150 --> 00:12:34,028
Right this way.
279
00:12:34,048 --> 00:12:36,063
[both giggling]
280
00:12:38,128 --> 00:12:39,241
Hey, now, this is more like it.
281
00:12:39,963 --> 00:12:41,127
Ain't no way I was getting
married at a place
282
00:12:41,148 --> 00:12:44,106
called Temple Emanuel L. Lewis.
283
00:12:44,125 --> 00:12:47,013
Welcome to the Chapel of Soul.
284
00:12:47,033 --> 00:12:49,173
I'm Angela and I'll be
your wedding coordinator.
285
00:12:49,194 --> 00:12:51,044
Can you dig it?
286
00:12:51,064 --> 00:12:53,184
[Angela laughs]
287
00:12:53,204 --> 00:12:57,174
Well, let's rap about
the kind of ceremony you want.
288
00:12:57,194 --> 00:12:59,153
Did you hear that, baby?
It's about what we want.
289
00:12:59,173 --> 00:13:02,143
Oh, yeah, that's right,
power to the people up in here.
290
00:13:04,012 --> 00:13:06,202
We offer a number of
packages here.
291
00:13:06,223 --> 00:13:08,143
Groove on this.
292
00:13:10,102 --> 00:13:12,082
Oh! Ooh, this is the bomb.
293
00:13:12,102 --> 00:13:13,242
Oh, I knew I liked this place.
294
00:13:13,262 --> 00:13:16,082
Baby, look, they got a
package
on my all-time idol.
295
00:13:16,102 --> 00:13:17,192
Who's that?
296
00:13:17,213 --> 00:13:19,053
"Who's the black private
dick
who's a sex machine
297
00:13:19,073 --> 00:13:20,092
to all the chicks?"
298
00:13:20,111 --> 00:13:21,981
- Shaft?
- You're damn right.
299
00:13:22,001 --> 00:13:23,251
Ha-ha-ha.
300
00:13:23,972 --> 00:13:28,052
Oh, baby, he's been my idol
ever since I was a kid.
301
00:13:28,072 --> 00:13:29,182
C-can we have this one?
302
00:13:29,202 --> 00:13:31,042
Baby, can we have
the Shaft package, please?
303
00:13:31,062 --> 00:13:33,052
Can we please do that one,
baby, please?
304
00:13:33,072 --> 00:13:37,192
Well, okay, baby, but I don't
wanna be given away by the pimp.
305
00:13:37,212 --> 00:13:40,122
But, baby,
that's what makes the whole..
306
00:13:40,141 --> 00:13:42,000
Al-alright, alright.
307
00:13:42,020 --> 00:13:43,150
[Lisa laughs]
308
00:13:43,171 --> 00:13:44,261
Give us the Shaft.
309
00:13:46,161 --> 00:13:49,101
Well, Hilary's investments
were primarily
310
00:13:49,120 --> 00:13:52,030
in mutual funds and stocks
although..
311
00:13:56,030 --> 00:14:01,040
...in November, she sold off
a number of hairs, uh, shares.
312
00:14:01,061 --> 00:14:04,030
Now, if-if you'll refer
to form 2106..
313
00:14:04,050 --> 00:14:07,260
I'm having a little trouble
reading my copy.
314
00:14:07,979 --> 00:14:10,109
Well, maybe
if you turned on a light.
315
00:14:12,040 --> 00:14:14,160
Why don't I just share
yours?
316
00:14:14,180 --> 00:14:19,000
Carlton, this whole audit
can be resolved very quickly.
317
00:14:19,019 --> 00:14:22,069
All you have to do is cooperate.
318
00:14:24,970 --> 00:14:26,189
What are you doing?
319
00:14:28,209 --> 00:14:31,119
Nobody has to know,
nobody gets hurt.
320
00:14:40,969 --> 00:14:43,199
You're busted, lady.
321
00:14:43,219 --> 00:14:45,999
If you don't sign this form
exonerating Hilary
322
00:14:46,018 --> 00:14:48,087
I'll sue you
for sexual harassment.
323
00:14:48,107 --> 00:14:51,157
Just try. You have no idea
what you're up against.
324
00:14:51,178 --> 00:14:52,218
Neither do you.
325
00:14:52,237 --> 00:14:53,257
I thought you might
try something
326
00:14:53,977 --> 00:14:55,247
so I took precautions.
327
00:15:00,097 --> 00:15:02,977
That was a tape recorder?
328
00:15:06,097 --> 00:15:08,097
That's right.
329
00:15:08,117 --> 00:15:09,236
I have the whole
sordid encounter
330
00:15:09,256 --> 00:15:11,176
right here on tape, Dailey.
331
00:15:11,197 --> 00:15:14,057
You're dilly-dallying days
are done.
332
00:15:15,207 --> 00:15:16,977
Dork.
333
00:15:24,146 --> 00:15:26,006
Will?
334
00:15:26,026 --> 00:15:27,186
Does this look silly?
335
00:15:34,066 --> 00:15:36,116
What are you talking about,
baby?
336
00:15:36,135 --> 00:15:39,085
- You look beautiful.
- Aww. Ha, ha.
337
00:15:43,255 --> 00:15:47,225
This is exactly
how I pictured my wedding.
338
00:15:47,245 --> 00:15:50,045
Well, more or less.
339
00:15:50,066 --> 00:15:55,085
Will, Lisa,
your Shaft wedding extravaganza
340
00:15:55,104 --> 00:15:57,134
is ready to begin.
341
00:15:57,155 --> 00:16:00,115
Solid, let's get it on.
342
00:16:00,134 --> 00:16:02,044
Oh, wait, hold on, baby.
343
00:16:03,134 --> 00:16:04,244
I wrote my own vows.
344
00:16:04,965 --> 00:16:07,205
Oh, Will, I can't wait
to hear them.
345
00:16:13,175 --> 00:16:16,244
[Isaac Hayes "Shaft"
instrumental]
346
00:16:21,034 --> 00:16:23,054
[gasping]
347
00:16:39,122 --> 00:16:41,122
Come, my children.
348
00:16:59,221 --> 00:17:01,121
[Lisa giggles]
349
00:17:04,962 --> 00:17:06,252
♪ Who's the black Philly man
that's gonna ♪
350
00:17:06,971 --> 00:17:10,051
♪ Take this fine woman's hand? ♪
351
00:17:10,071 --> 00:17:11,981
♪ Smith ♪
352
00:17:13,962 --> 00:17:15,072
That's fine, that's me.
353
00:17:15,092 --> 00:17:20,021
♪ You're damn right ♪
354
00:17:20,040 --> 00:17:23,960
♪ Who is the man that's got
some vows in his hand ♪
355
00:17:23,980 --> 00:17:25,170
♪ To tell his woman? ♪
356
00:17:25,191 --> 00:17:28,211
♪ Will Smith ♪
357
00:17:28,230 --> 00:17:30,970
♪ Can you dig it? ♪
358
00:17:35,990 --> 00:17:37,100
"Lisa..
359
00:17:37,121 --> 00:17:41,021
"...you're my sun, my moon,
my stars.
360
00:17:41,040 --> 00:17:43,109
"You're my whole universe.
361
00:17:43,130 --> 00:17:45,250
"You make me feel complete.
362
00:17:45,969 --> 00:17:48,009
I wanna be with you
forever.."
363
00:17:48,029 --> 00:17:49,199
♪ Smith ♪
364
00:17:49,219 --> 00:17:52,079
♪ Sure enough ♪
365
00:17:52,100 --> 00:17:54,114
Right. Um..
366
00:17:54,134 --> 00:17:56,108
"From the first time
I saw you
367
00:17:56,128 --> 00:17:59,034
"I knew that I wanted
to be with you always.
368
00:17:59,053 --> 00:18:02,139
I knew that I wanted
to hold you and love you.."
369
00:18:02,160 --> 00:18:03,994
♪ Smith ♪
370
00:18:04,013 --> 00:18:06,178
♪ Will Smith yeah ♪
371
00:18:10,116 --> 00:18:11,228
Right on.
372
00:18:11,249 --> 00:18:13,173
Alright. Um..
373
00:18:13,193 --> 00:18:17,051
♪ They say this cat Smith
is a bad mother.. ♪
374
00:18:17,070 --> 00:18:20,066
Shut your mouth.
375
00:18:20,086 --> 00:18:21,278
♪ Well they talking about you ♪
376
00:18:21,298 --> 00:18:24,044
Can I do this, please?
377
00:18:26,128 --> 00:18:29,034
Um, where was I? Uh,
"Lisa.."
378
00:18:29,054 --> 00:18:30,316
♪ You're a complicated man ♪
379
00:18:31,039 --> 00:18:34,225
♪ There's no one who
understands you but your woman ♪
380
00:18:34,245 --> 00:18:36,129
♪ Will Smith ♪
381
00:18:37,292 --> 00:18:39,296
[sighs]
382
00:18:42,341 --> 00:18:44,325
Look, Lisa,
what I'm trying to say is..
383
00:18:44,345 --> 00:18:47,351
[whooping]
384
00:18:50,197 --> 00:18:52,341
Alright, that's enough!
385
00:18:52,361 --> 00:18:55,087
[whooping]
386
00:18:56,240 --> 00:18:58,164
That's it!
387
00:18:58,183 --> 00:19:01,179
Look, Lisa,
baby, I'm telling you..
388
00:19:01,199 --> 00:19:04,175
...I want to marry you,
but definitely not like
this.
389
00:19:04,195 --> 00:19:06,350
Right on, Will.
390
00:19:06,370 --> 00:19:08,314
Oh, by the way, dude
391
00:19:08,335 --> 00:19:11,130
your Isaac Hayes
impression stinks.
392
00:19:12,333 --> 00:19:15,339
I don't know,
I-I thought it was pretty good.
393
00:19:21,301 --> 00:19:25,229
I don't understand,
the IRS is just letting me off?
394
00:19:25,248 --> 00:19:27,242
What did you have to do?
395
00:19:27,262 --> 00:19:29,246
I don't wanna hear this.
396
00:19:29,266 --> 00:19:32,156
Don't worry, Ashley, I've done
nothing to be ashamed of.
397
00:19:32,176 --> 00:19:33,375
I blackmailed her.
398
00:19:35,366 --> 00:19:38,156
She was harassing me.
Listen to this.
399
00:19:38,175 --> 00:19:39,394
♪ She'll have fun fun fun ♪
400
00:19:39,414 --> 00:19:42,194
♪ Till her daddy
takes the T-Bird away ♪
401
00:19:42,214 --> 00:19:44,244
♪ Fun fun fun till her da.. ♪♪
402
00:19:44,264 --> 00:19:48,293
Carlton, that's annoying,
but it's not harassment.
403
00:19:48,314 --> 00:19:50,204
Thank God I pressed
the wrong button.
404
00:19:50,223 --> 00:19:53,172
The B-side is John Travolta's
polka classics.
405
00:19:55,182 --> 00:19:57,341
Okay. Okay, thank you.
406
00:19:59,251 --> 00:20:02,341
[sighs]
Phil, I tell you,
this is the life, man.
407
00:20:02,362 --> 00:20:05,301
And that butler of yours
makes one mean sandwich.
408
00:20:05,321 --> 00:20:06,381
What is that, Grey Poupon?
409
00:20:06,401 --> 00:20:08,411
- Mm. You like it?
- Ooh.
410
00:20:08,430 --> 00:20:11,199
Well, I'll see you go home
with a case of it.
411
00:20:11,219 --> 00:20:13,299
- Ha, ha.
- 'Hey, listen to this.'
412
00:20:13,320 --> 00:20:16,379
Now, the country club let me
slide my wedding deposit..
413
00:20:16,399 --> 00:20:18,259
...over to the pro shop.
414
00:20:18,279 --> 00:20:20,339
Now, for five years,
I've had my eye
415
00:20:20,359 --> 00:20:23,248
on one of those,
those turbo driven golf carts.
416
00:20:23,267 --> 00:20:25,187
- Yeah.
- Uh-huh.
417
00:20:25,207 --> 00:20:28,276
So daddy's coming home
with a Turf Buddy.
418
00:20:28,297 --> 00:20:29,437
- Alright.
- Ha, ha.
419
00:20:30,156 --> 00:20:31,396
Man, you made me
think of something.
420
00:20:31,416 --> 00:20:34,346
All my life I wanted
a Harley-Davidson.
421
00:20:34,367 --> 00:20:37,376
And with the $10,000
I'm saving on that wedding..
422
00:20:37,396 --> 00:20:40,146
...I can get the hog of life.
423
00:20:40,165 --> 00:20:42,194
[Fred imitates engine revving]
424
00:20:42,214 --> 00:20:44,244
- Five.
- Fred. Oh, Fred.
425
00:20:44,264 --> 00:20:46,414
- I'll tell you.
- We got some great kids.
426
00:20:46,434 --> 00:20:48,293
Ain't it the truth, huh?
427
00:20:48,314 --> 00:20:50,394
Hey, guys, what's up?
Look, we got good news.
428
00:20:50,413 --> 00:20:53,152
No, we already know,
we read the note.
429
00:20:53,172 --> 00:20:56,182
Oh, you don't get it,
we didn't go through with
it.
430
00:20:59,362 --> 00:21:02,162
Well, you know, it just really
didn't feel right, you know
431
00:21:02,181 --> 00:21:04,311
without all our family
and friends being there.
432
00:21:04,332 --> 00:21:06,251
So hey, we decided
you guys can go ahead
433
00:21:06,271 --> 00:21:08,201
with the traditional
blowout wedding.
434
00:21:08,220 --> 00:21:10,250
- With all the trimmings.
- Yep.
435
00:21:10,271 --> 00:21:12,260
So, uh, Uncle Phil..
436
00:21:12,280 --> 00:21:15,310
...you can fly in all my
boys
and all my boys' boys
437
00:21:15,330 --> 00:21:18,199
and all my boys' boys' boys,
you know what I'm saying?
438
00:21:18,218 --> 00:21:20,258
We're gonna rock that
Bel-Air Country Club so hard
439
00:21:20,279 --> 00:21:22,319
we're gonna have Bob Hope up
in there doing the tootsie roll
440
00:21:22,339 --> 00:21:24,268
you know what I mean?
441
00:21:24,288 --> 00:21:27,258
Ah, well, hear this, son,
you two are gonna get married
442
00:21:27,278 --> 00:21:29,398
right here on this patio
and you're gonna like it.
443
00:21:29,417 --> 00:21:31,396
- But, daddy, we decided--
- Don't worry, baby.
444
00:21:31,416 --> 00:21:33,296
We-we'll get you some cake
and something
445
00:21:33,317 --> 00:21:36,157
to wash it down with.
446
00:21:36,176 --> 00:21:37,415
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We can talk about this.
447
00:21:38,136 --> 00:21:40,186
The wedding's not gonna be
till May. Ha, ha.
448
00:21:40,205 --> 00:21:42,305
So, Fred, you wanna
take a spin around the block
449
00:21:42,326 --> 00:21:44,215
in my Turf Buddy?
450
00:21:44,234 --> 00:21:45,374
- I'm there.
- Heh!
451
00:21:45,394 --> 00:21:47,374
Hey, can you pop a wheelie?
452
00:21:50,223 --> 00:21:52,183
Only if he sits on it.
453
00:21:53,314 --> 00:21:55,224
It's like I don't believe
this mess.
454
00:21:55,242 --> 00:21:58,312
I mean, doesn't anybody care
what we want?
455
00:21:58,333 --> 00:21:59,393
Nope.
456
00:22:06,272 --> 00:22:07,312
[theme music]
457
00:22:09,281 --> 00:22:10,341
♪ Yeah ♪
458
00:22:14,130 --> 00:22:15,190
♪ Yeah ♪
459
00:22:18,320 --> 00:22:19,380
♪ Yeah ♪
460
00:22:23,188 --> 00:22:24,268
♪ Yeah ♪
461
00:22:27,387 --> 00:22:29,167
♪ Yeah ♪
462
00:22:32,237 --> 00:22:33,396
♪ Yeah ♪
33932
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