All language subtitles for The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air S05E11 WEB [1080p].en

You know, Geoffrey, I do believe
that of all the holidays

Thanksgiving is my favorite.

Oh, the yams

the cranberry sauce

the pie

and, of course,
that big old butterball.

Well, you are what you eat.

[laughing]

Uh, did you just call me
a big old butterball?

Nothing gets past you, sir.

You know, Geoffrey, if you're
going to comment on my girth

you could at least
put some thought into it.

I beg your pardon, sir?

Well, I mean there are just
so many more

interesting ways to say it.

I mean, you could be poetic.

His corpulent flesh
rolls around his bones

like a thick chocolate pudding.
Huh?

Or scientific.

He is so huge
that food comes to him

from the gravitational pull
alone.

Huh?

Or you could be quizzical.

Is that your head or is your
neck blowing a bubble?

You could be ribald,
ironic, vaudevillian, whatever.

But be creative.
You got that?

Anything you say, sir.

Hey. Hey, what's up?
Oh, Uncle Phil.

Uh, that elephant that trampled
all them people called

he want his butt back.

[theme song]

♪ Now this is a story all about
how my life got flipped ♪

♪ Turned upside-down
and I'd like to take a minute ♪

♪ Just sit right there
I'll tell you how I became ♪

♪ The prince of a town
called Bel-Air ♪

♪ In West Philadelphia
born and raised ♪

♪ On the playground is where
I spent most of my days ♪

♪ Chillin' out maxin'
relaxin' all cool ♪

♪ And all shootin' some b-ball
outside of the school ♪

♪ When a couple of guys
who were up to no good ♪

♪ Started makin' trouble
in my neighborhood ♪

♪ I got in one little fight
and my mom got scared and said ♪

♪ You're moving with your auntie
and uncle in Bel-Air ♪

♪ I whistled for a cab
and when it came near ♪

♪ The license plate said fresh
and it had dice in the mirror ♪

♪ If anything I can say
that this cab was rare ♪

♪ But I thought nah forget it
yo holmes to Bel-Air ♪

♪ I pulled up to a house
about seven or eight ♪

♪ And I yelled to the cabbie
yo holmes smell you later ♪

♪ Looked at my kingdom
I was finally there ♪

♪ To sit on my throne
as the prince of Bel-Air ♪♪

(male #1)
Sold to number 378.

Oh, I just love auctions.

You wait for the auctioneer
to say, "Going once, twice."

Then whatever the last bid was

you raise the paddle
and double it.

[laughing]
Give me that.

Philip, let's go see
what's in the other room.

Oh. I-I'll be there in a minute,
sweetheart.

Ah... Sit on this, Carlton.

My pleasure, dad.

[beeper beeping]

Who was that?

What? Oh, um, you know, um..

Um, that was my beeper.

Was it a girl?

Oh, you know, um..

You know, it could be a girl

or a-a guy or,
you know, some mixture.

Mm-hm.

Oh, look.

Who would like to open the bid

on the celebrity mystery box?

Now, come on, folks.
Do I hear a hundred?

You know who that is, don't you?

It's Michael Jordan.

Aw, come on, ain't no Michael
Jordan in that box.

No, really, he told me after my
show on "Is Bald Sexy?"

That he was gonna be
auctioned as a prize.

Wow. Hey, I'd love to meet
Michael Jordan.

Why don't you just
have him beep you?

Look, is-is this beeper
a problem?

Do you want me to get rid
of this beeper?

If you want,
just say the word and it's gone.

- Get rid of the beeper.
- What am I saying?

What would that prove?

This popular celebrity
has a distinctive haircut

is in top physical condition

and is a real inspirational
individual.

Sounds like Michael Jordan
to me.

- Four hundred.
- Hey.

Thank you, sir, do I hear five?

I'm the keeper of the paddle.

(male #1)
'I have six. Do I hear seven?'

- Seven.
- Give me that back.

Seven. Seven going once.

Just go back to your date.

Thank you, I have eight.

No, no, I said date.

Going once? Going twice?

Sold to number 248.

[applauding]

Will, I'm looking for a
little
clarity in our relationship.

- I need to know where we stand.
- L-Lisa, Lisa.

Baby, why do we need
to define everything?

Let stuff just flow naturally,
you know?

- I just feel like we need to--
- Lisa, Lisa, Lisa, baby.

Baby, listen,
we can talk about this later.

I just purchased
one of the greatest athletes

in the history of athletics.

Okay, folks.

Here we go.

[applauding]

Boy, Mike's really
changed his looks

since he started playing
baseball.

[instrumental music]

That's it, guys,
the whole family up.

Come on, everybody. Come on,
Philip, keep up. And reach.

Well done, Carlton.

Well done. Keep going.

You know, so we're up
in the auction, right?

You know, my beeper go off.

She talkin' about,
"You seeing other women."

Well, are you seeing other
women?

No, man.

Well, then,
get rid of your beeper.

Aw, please, man,
getting rid of your beeper

like getting yourself fixed.

Come on, guys, the family
that works out together

gets fit together.

Uh, Hilary. Keep going.

Hilary, uh,
why are you stopping?

Excuse me, but I'm, like,
starting to sweat.

[panting]

Hilary, do you have a problem
with me?

Nothing personal, but..

...you're a talk show host,
I'm a talk show host.

I mean, you don't see me
skateboarding with Montel.

Uh, maybe this is enough
for today.

Oh, well, that's too bad.

Thank you so much for coming by,
Miss Powter.

And maybe we'll see you
at the next auction.

Oh, you know, Mr. Banks

I know this was supposed to
be
a one-day thing

but I feel such chemistry
between the two of us.

I really wanna stick around
and help you

reach your ideal weight.

Now, if ever there were
a lifetime commitment..

7:00 a.m. tomorrow.
Okay, in the morning.

- Uh, uh, um.. Oh!
- 7:00 a.m.

Should've given
Hilary the damn paddle.

At least we'd be able
to drive whatever she bought.

Philip, you know, it wouldn't be
the worst thing in the world

to lose a couple..

...fifty pounds.

(Philip)
'Well, maybe you're right.'

A little exercise can't
hurt.

- Tomorrow.
- Okay.

Tonight we eat fudge.

Hey, hey, man,
you could kill somebody.

- Hi, Will.
- Hey, Lisa, what's up, baby?

Hey, look if you wanna
go out tonight

baby, it cannot happen.

I feel like I tried to snatch
a cheeseburger

from George Foreman.

[laughing]

That's okay,
I'm helping my friend Dana

set up a new apartment,
I just wanted to stop by

and bring you your jacket.

Oh, thank you.

- Hi.
- Oh, Dana.

Dana, this is Will.
Will, this is Dana.

Don't mean to barge in,
but I was wondering

if I could use your
bathroom.

Oh, uh, yeah. Cool.

Uh, it's, uh, right down
the hall, uh, on the right.

- Knock yourself out.
- Thanks.

Please.

Who was that?

That's Dana.
What's wrong with you?

Well, the Dana
I was expecting to meet

would be sitting down
on the toilet

not standing up in front of it.

Will, he's just a friend.

Oh, oh, just a friend.

Well, just how friendly
is this friend?

Will, don't define everything.

Let things flow naturally,
right?

Where did you hear
that crock of garbage?

- Ready?
- Yeah, I'm ready.

- Well..
- Will, I'll see you later.

- Will, what's going on?
- Oh, okay.

Oh, well, if she gonna be
stepping out

I ain't gonna be sitting up
in the crib

like some Silly Putty sucker.

You're going to your
chicktionary? Let me see.

Carlton, you know
the chicktionary rules.

Right. Three feet back.

Well, Lisa ain't the only one
who got friends.

Hey, Carlotta.

Hey, baby, you feeling friendly?

Whoo.

Will, I don't know
why you wanted to see

"Interview With The Vampire."

I get scared so easily.

Uh, well, babe, it wasn't
about the movie for me.

I just wanted to see you
jump.

Girl, you got bounce.

You nasty boy.

Oh, how did you know?

Hey, hey, listen,
you want a soda or something?

Uh, sure.

Actually, you know,
I was kind of surprised

that you called me.

Rumor had it
that you were off the market.

Oh, well, you know,
I'm still hearing offers. Heh.

You can, uh, think of tonight
as an open house.

[sniffs]

Gee, your hair smells terrific.

Come here, you.

Oh, dear God!

What is it? Are you okay?

Uh.. No, no..
No, I was just..

I was just thinking about how

they made Tom Cruise
even whiter.

You see, I told you
about those scary movies.

You need to relax.

Why don't you let me
help you, uh

relieve some of that tension?

Oh, yeah.

Oh, God, don't!

- Will.
- Oh, oh, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Will, do you have a problem?

No, no, sweetie, see--

Look, maybe I'll just come back
when you can concentrate.

Listen, see, it, it, um..

Wait. Carlotta.
Baby. Baby, listen.

I was just,
I was just playing around.

You see, schizoid
is a character that I do.

Wait till you
get to meet love boy.

When he gets here,
have him call me.

Carlotta.

[screaming]

[instrumental music]

[door closes]

- Uncle Phil.
- Mm?

Oh, Will.

I thought you were that
Susan Powter.

Oh. Yeah, well,
we got the same barber.

Uh, yeah.

[sighs]

What's the matter, son?

You seem down.

Well, somethin' happened
last night

got me a little worried.

I was in the pool house.

Oh, man, with this real,
real fly honey, man.

All systems were go
and then they kind of went.

Don't worry about that, son.
Happens to the best of us.

And as you get older,
it might even seem commonplace.

I-I-I mean,
I didn't wanna do it.

I-I couldn't get Lisa
off my mind.

Well, Will, obviously

you're thinking of Lisa
differently.

One might even venture to say
that you're falling in--

Da, da-da-da, da.
Don't go there.

Don't go there.

- I wouldn't say that.
- Oh, yeah.

No, no, I-I was just thinking
about her, that's all.

Mm, I see.

B-but, you know, just
hypothetically, you know..

You know, if I was falling

with you know, with,
with, you know.

How would I know?

When I was going
with your Aunt Vivian

I, uh, had a lot of nervous
energy.

I used to get up
every morning at dawn

and run through the park.

You used to jog?

That was a shortcut to the diner
where she worked.

The one sure way
that I could tell

that I was in love was
that..

You know those-those stupid,
sappy love songs

that I used to make fun of,
you know?

Well, they started making sense.

I mean, t-this one
really did it for me.

[sighs]

♪ I've got sunshine ♪

♪ On a cloudy day ♪

♪ When it's cold outside ♪

♪ I've got the month of May ♪

♪ I guess you'll say ♪

♪ What can make me feel
this way ♪

♪ My girl talkin' 'bout.. ♪♪

Alright, stop,
Uncle Phil, stop.

Don't be ridiculous, Susan.

The whole family would love

to go on a 10-mile jog.

[sniffs]
Hold on.

I smell pepperoni
on the premises.

You're busted, big guy.

Okay, okay,
I'll just go eat some celery.

Will, I am so surprised at you.

Standing around here
watching your uncle

dig himself into an early grave.

Yeah, you filthy stinking
enabler.

Hey, look, wait a minute

I got other things
on my mind right now.

I ain't got no time
for buns of brass

and brains of bricks.

He needs help,
you wouldn't talk that way

if you walked just one mile
in your uncle's shoes.

My uncle can't walk one mile
in my uncle's shoes.

Listen, why don't you go
haunt
one of your big-boned
friends?

Big-boned?

Okay, I'm gonna show you
big-boned.

[instrumental music]

Looks like Lorena Bobbitt
got to this suit, huh?

[chuckles]
Let's just call this part

of your family education kit
'cause you know why?

In every group, there's
always
an insensitive boob.

We must be lucky, we got two.

Well, uh, this dumb suit
ain't gonna prove nothin'.

I could wear this thing
for a week.

Oh, really? Why don't you
just go out for one day?

Go out in public
and see what it feels like

to look like this. Go ahead.

Pfft. Look, this thing
will be a breeze.

[instrumental music]

♪ Lady I'm your knight
in shining armor ♪

♪ And I love you ♪

♪ You have made me what I am ♪

♪ And I am yours.. ♪

- Will, are you alright?
- Yeah, why?

You were just singing
"Lady" to a melon.

Oh, that's how I check them
for ripeness.

Will, you've been acting
really weird.

[laughing]

Oh, that's funny?
Y'all think that's funny? Huh?

You think that's funny, huh?
Whoo.

Hey, y-you ain't had no
home training

that's what your problem is.

Whoo.

Potato chips?

What about Susan Powter?

Listen, Will, I'm as health
conscious as the next person

but when she threw out
the strawberry Pop-Tarts

she crossed the line.

Which reminds me,
I'll be right back.

Oh, excuse me, I'm sorry.

I'm retaining water.

Well, well, look who's here,
Lisa and friend.

Oh, we need paper towels
and a can opener.

Is that fat guy followin' us?

What fat guy? Come on.

Excuse me, is there some reason
why you're following us?

- Will?
- Well, it ain't Fat Albert.

What are you doing?

What am I doing?
What are.. Oh!

What am I doing?
What're you doing?

I don't believe you, girl.

I thought we had somethin' real.

Here I am singing stupid
love songs about you

and thinking about you
all the time.

'Writing your name
on every book I own.'

And you stepping out on me
in a grocery store.

You know how ridiculous
that makes me look?

Huh? Do you?

Will, for the umpteenth time

I told you, Dana and I
are just friends.

Oh, oh. Well, let me tell you
about your slimy little friend.

He's just trying to gain your
confidence

so he'll know
when you're most vulnerable.

And that's when he's gonna
pounce on you

like a cheetah on a rabbit.

And you believe that?

Believe it? I've done it.

Hey, man,
you've got me all wrong.

Hey, hey, hey.

Look here, dude.

This is betweenmoiandher.

We don't need ya.

I'm out of here, Lis.

Hey, you just hold on a second.

What? Hold on what?

If you are gonna have any kind

of relationship with me

you are gonna have to trust me.

The same way that I trust you
not to date anybody else.

Oh, yeah, well,
I did date somebody else.

- Oh, you did?
- Yes, I did, last night.

One of my friends.

And she was ready and willing
to do anything I wanted to do.

Except we couldn't do
what I wanted to do.

'Cause all I wanted to do
was be with you.

- Oh, really?
- Yes, really.

- And do you know why?
- No, why?

Because I love you.

What did you just say?

I said I love you.

Baby.

[instrumental music]

So let's just say
I wanted to do an exercise tape.

That would bring me, what,
10 million?

Though, I wouldn't actually

have to touch fat people,
would I?

Could they just be
electronically morphed in later?

Philip, a-as much as I'd like
to hang around

and help you reach
your ideal weight, I can't.

I gotta go, I gotta go.

Because I can't stand
being around you.

Ooh, you have such a grating
personality.

That's my boy.

Come on, everyone,
tuna melts on me. Come on.

- Hey, what's up, G?
- Hey, Master William.

Guess what, Geoffrey?

We saw Lisa at the grocery store

and Will used the L-word.

Leather?

No, love.

Tomato, tomato.

That's right, G,
I'm telling you

I made the leap, man.

First time in my life,
I'm a one-woman man.

Well, you know
what you have to do?

[vocalization]

Repeat after me.

Repeat after me.

Sorry.

I accept this gift and all
the responsibilities it carries.

I accept this gift and all
the responsibilities it carries.

- I'll never betray it.
- I'll never betray it.

- I'll never abandon it.
- I'll never abandon it.

I will never reveal the secrets
which it contains.

I will never reveal the secrets
which it contains.

Hold out your hands.

Carlton..

...I give you my chicktionary.

May it be as good to you
as it has been to me.

I can feel it.

I can feel the power!

Yes!

[sobbing]
Yes!

(Will)
Y'all stay tuned
for more "Fresh Prince."

[theme music]

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Yeah ♪♪