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0
00:00:08,620 --> 00:00:11,180
Y ou like this, huh? Y ou like this.
1
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Earthquake!
2
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...is a dance, and apparently you know it.
3
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- Exceptional buns, Geoffrey.
- Thank you, sir.
4
00:01:52,058 --> 00:01:54,618
Y es, I think he's been doing
the StairMaster.
5
00:01:55,595 --> 00:01:57,893
Where's your mother?
Her breakfast is getting cold.
6
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She's not eating.
7
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Not until she can fit
into her old wedding gown.
8
00:02:01,568 --> 00:02:03,229
That's ridiculous.
9
00:02:03,469 --> 00:02:07,200
Y ou wouldn't expect me to fit into
a pair of pants I wore 25 years ago.
10
00:02:07,373 --> 00:02:09,671
Or 25 days ago, for that matter.
11
00:02:11,444 --> 00:02:13,810
Y ou know,
she has nothing to worry about.
12
00:02:13,880 --> 00:02:15,939
She's as beautiful as the day I married her.
13
00:02:16,015 --> 00:02:18,609
Which is why I'm going to
renew our vows this Saturday.
14
00:02:19,152 --> 00:02:21,347
That is so romantic.
15
00:02:21,688 --> 00:02:24,452
I wish I could find a guy
to lie to me like that.
16
00:02:25,258 --> 00:02:27,453
Sir, about Saturday's menu...
17
00:02:27,694 --> 00:02:30,356
shall I prepare the same meal
you had at your wedding?
18
00:02:30,430 --> 00:02:34,161
G, how's he supposed to remember
what he had for dinner 25 years ago?
19
00:02:34,233 --> 00:02:37,430
Well, we started out
with some chicken pot pie...
20
00:02:37,904 --> 00:02:40,372
and some delicious coleslaw.
21
00:02:40,640 --> 00:02:45,134
And then there was some really, really
great baked beans, with, what, molasses.
22
00:02:45,411 --> 00:02:49,313
And for dessert, we had a big huge chunk
of chocolate devil's food cake.
23
00:02:53,886 --> 00:02:55,319
I'm guessing.
24
00:02:56,089 --> 00:02:58,887
If only that power could be used for good.
25
00:03:00,059 --> 00:03:03,085
Maybe I'll go upstairs
to try to cheer up your mother.
26
00:03:03,496 --> 00:03:05,054
I'm so fat!
27
00:03:06,265 --> 00:03:08,893
On second thought,
I'll call her from the car.
28
00:03:12,171 --> 00:03:13,763
Good, he's gone.
29
00:03:14,807 --> 00:03:17,935
Great, now we can finish working
on their anniversary surprise.
30
00:03:18,011 --> 00:03:19,535
I hope they like this photo album.
31
00:03:19,612 --> 00:03:22,740
What's not to like?
We got some great family pictures.
32
00:03:23,449 --> 00:03:25,610
Look, here's me at the beach.
33
00:03:26,219 --> 00:03:28,380
And here's me in my carriage.
34
00:03:30,223 --> 00:03:32,783
Look, and here's me at the park.
35
00:03:33,326 --> 00:03:35,886
I knew we should have gotten them
those Ginsu knives.
36
00:03:35,962 --> 00:03:37,657
This stuff is so boring.
37
00:03:37,730 --> 00:03:41,097
Carlton's right. Nothing exciting
ever happens to our family.
38
00:03:41,801 --> 00:03:44,702
Well, that's right, y'all,
and that's why I came out here...
39
00:03:44,771 --> 00:03:46,568
'cause you people really need help.
40
00:03:58,484 --> 00:04:03,148
Carlton Banks is wearing an elegant,
yet masculine cotton-silk combination...
41
00:04:03,589 --> 00:04:05,580
designed by Will St. LeCarlton.
42
00:04:06,693 --> 00:04:09,253
Six, seven, eight and contract, hut.
43
00:04:10,463 --> 00:04:12,556
Five and six and seven, eight.
44
00:04:16,869 --> 00:04:20,100
Fingers open. Spread 'em out and look.
45
00:04:20,973 --> 00:04:23,203
Contract, release, hut...
46
00:04:23,409 --> 00:04:24,899
and up and ten...
47
00:04:25,044 --> 00:04:29,208
and pose, hut, repeat.
Five and six and seven, eight, hut.
48
00:04:53,206 --> 00:04:54,400
Say...
49
00:04:55,141 --> 00:04:57,871
is that Philip Banks or Blair Underwood?
50
00:05:17,029 --> 00:05:19,020
What do you think of this one, Dad?
51
00:05:19,098 --> 00:05:21,658
I look like Little Richard, attorney at law.
52
00:05:23,269 --> 00:05:24,930
Dinner is served.
53
00:05:27,340 --> 00:05:29,900
A-wop-bop-a-Ioo-bop, a-Iop-bam-boom.
54
00:05:35,915 --> 00:05:39,874
Ladies and gentlemen, give it up
for the star of Heidi Comes To Har/em.
55
00:05:41,821 --> 00:05:44,790
Mom, if you make me
go to school like this...
56
00:05:44,857 --> 00:05:47,325
I'm going to write a book when I grow up.
57
00:05:49,896 --> 00:05:51,659
Welcome to the Briny Deep...
58
00:05:51,731 --> 00:05:53,926
where none of our prices
are ever too steep.
59
00:05:54,000 --> 00:05:56,059
We've got fresh fish,
you can look in our tank.
60
00:05:56,135 --> 00:05:59,195
To get to the bathroom,
make a left at the plank. Follow me.
61
00:06:02,141 --> 00:06:05,599
Look, I know everyone gets
a little silly around mid-terms...
62
00:06:06,179 --> 00:06:09,171
- but not at the dinner table.
- I'm sorry, Mom.
63
00:06:10,349 --> 00:06:12,613
Will Smith is the scum of the earth.
64
00:06:12,952 --> 00:06:14,180
Hilary!
65
00:06:19,091 --> 00:06:22,219
However, Will Smith
is the pinnacle of manliness.
66
00:06:32,405 --> 00:06:33,599
Hilary!
67
00:06:38,511 --> 00:06:40,240
What's with Hilary?
68
00:06:43,015 --> 00:06:45,347
Hilary! Hilary! Hilary!
69
00:06:45,751 --> 00:06:47,275
Stop it! Stop it!
70
00:06:48,387 --> 00:06:50,617
Y our Montrose vase...
71
00:06:50,723 --> 00:06:54,454
attracts dust like a magnet!
72
00:06:54,527 --> 00:06:55,687
G, listen.
73
00:06:57,430 --> 00:06:58,988
Problem solved.
74
00:06:59,398 --> 00:07:01,025
Okay, G, listen.
75
00:07:01,367 --> 00:07:05,929
Philip, I have $1,000 with your name on it.
76
00:07:06,272 --> 00:07:09,605
Do the family a favor,
get Viv some cooking lessons.
77
00:07:09,675 --> 00:07:11,142
Y ou!
78
00:07:12,111 --> 00:07:15,877
And, Miss Ashley,
how does a Mercedes sound?
79
00:07:16,249 --> 00:07:17,511
Vroom, vroom?
80
00:07:17,717 --> 00:07:19,947
Very clever. I'll get you two.
81
00:07:21,254 --> 00:07:22,983
Vroom, vroom, vroom.
82
00:07:25,157 --> 00:07:26,681
Nice try.
83
00:07:28,761 --> 00:07:31,025
In case you hadn't figured it out...
84
00:07:32,131 --> 00:07:33,359
I quit!
85
00:07:41,173 --> 00:07:43,835
For a long time, it gave me nightmares.
86
00:07:45,344 --> 00:07:48,074
Having to witness an injustice like that.
87
00:07:50,216 --> 00:07:54,016
It was a constant reminder
of how unfair this world can be.
88
00:07:56,589 --> 00:07:59,114
I can still hear them taunting him.
89
00:08:01,360 --> 00:08:03,794
"Silly rabbit, Trix are for kids."
90
00:08:15,141 --> 00:08:18,304
How come they just
couldn't give him some cereal?
91
00:08:18,744 --> 00:08:23,681
Hi, /'m Phi/ip Banks,and /'m running for superior court judge.
92
00:08:32,158 --> 00:08:34,058
What the hell is that?
93
00:08:34,794 --> 00:08:37,024
That was our New y ear's Eve party.
94
00:08:37,096 --> 00:08:39,656
Uncle Phil, you know,
I just put in a couple of home movies...
95
00:08:39,732 --> 00:08:42,997
you know, to show your human side.
It gets better, check it out.
96
00:08:43,436 --> 00:08:46,894
And if you put me on the Bench,/'// take a rea/ bite out of crime.
97
00:08:46,973 --> 00:08:49,339
Bite. Bite. Bite.
98
00:08:54,280 --> 00:08:56,111
Vote for Phi/ip Banks.
99
00:08:56,182 --> 00:08:59,879
Phi/ip Banks. Phi/ip Banks. Phi/ip Banks.
100
00:09:14,266 --> 00:09:17,292
Where's the family room?
Man, I'm going to kill Carlton.
101
00:09:17,370 --> 00:09:20,100
Kill him? I want to know
the name of his decorator.
102
00:09:35,955 --> 00:09:39,015
- No, I'm sorry.
- What do you two think you're doing?
103
00:09:40,326 --> 00:09:42,453
I was trying to get up to my room.
104
00:09:45,064 --> 00:09:47,999
- Tom, what was you doing?
- I was trying to be in the video.
105
00:09:51,670 --> 00:09:56,232
Look, a Donna Karan suit,
right in the middle of the kitchen floor.
106
00:09:57,610 --> 00:09:58,770
What color?
107
00:10:00,946 --> 00:10:02,971
Y ou gotta come out to see that.
108
00:10:03,749 --> 00:10:05,580
Sorry, Will, it won't work.
109
00:10:08,454 --> 00:10:11,252
Look, G, she won't listen to me, man.
I give up.
110
00:10:15,127 --> 00:10:17,687
I think it's time
you came out of the closet.
111
00:10:19,398 --> 00:10:20,592
Let me.
112
00:10:22,134 --> 00:10:23,226
Sonny...
113
00:10:23,302 --> 00:10:27,796
what you do in the privacy of the bedroom
is nobody's business but yours.
114
00:10:28,641 --> 00:10:31,007
Just be true to yourself.
115
00:10:33,112 --> 00:10:34,511
He'll come around.
116
00:11:01,173 --> 00:11:02,640
Take it off!
117
00:11:03,008 --> 00:11:04,566
Put it on!
118
00:11:06,579 --> 00:11:09,776
Carlton Banks,
you put your clothes on this minute.
119
00:11:09,882 --> 00:11:11,042
Mommy!
120
00:11:16,622 --> 00:11:17,680
Wow!
121
00:11:18,691 --> 00:11:20,818
Will, check out the talent.
122
00:11:21,360 --> 00:11:25,262
She's cool. She's hot. She's...
123
00:11:25,331 --> 00:11:27,231
y our baby sister, man!
124
00:11:34,974 --> 00:11:38,933
Carlton's log. Earth date 1992.
125
00:11:39,812 --> 00:11:41,211
It's 6:00 a.m.
126
00:11:41,280 --> 00:11:43,805
Up with the dawn,
the small band of brave souls...
127
00:11:43,883 --> 00:11:46,249
prepare to pile into their Mercedes.
128
00:11:46,785 --> 00:11:49,879
Destination: Adventure.
129
00:11:52,658 --> 00:11:55,991
Hey, I didn't know
Mom was a ventriloquist.
130
00:11:56,262 --> 00:11:59,561
Look at that funny-Iooking
little dummy on her knee.
131
00:12:00,132 --> 00:12:01,929
Ashley, that's Carlton.
132
00:12:07,239 --> 00:12:08,570
Uncle Phil, what's up?
133
00:12:08,641 --> 00:12:10,836
- Where is it?
- Geoffrey took it, I swear!
134
00:12:10,910 --> 00:12:13,572
Oh, my God,
your Aunt Vivian's going to kill me.
135
00:12:13,646 --> 00:12:17,173
Uncle Phil, look, you're winning a lot
of points with this second wedding thing.
136
00:12:17,249 --> 00:12:19,479
I'm sure whatever it is, she can handle it.
137
00:12:19,552 --> 00:12:21,452
I lost my wedding ring.
138
00:12:23,389 --> 00:12:25,983
So, where shall we scatter the ashes?
139
00:12:35,468 --> 00:12:38,869
I cannot believe I wore that ring
every day for 25 years...
140
00:12:38,938 --> 00:12:40,803
and the day before my anniversary,
I lose it.
141
00:12:40,873 --> 00:12:41,999
Okay, now, just think.
142
00:12:42,075 --> 00:12:45,909
Maybe it will help if you remember
what you were doing when you lost it.
143
00:12:45,978 --> 00:12:47,377
I was eating.
144
00:12:48,314 --> 00:12:50,111
That narrows it down.
145
00:12:53,486 --> 00:12:54,919
Hey, what up, J?
146
00:12:56,055 --> 00:12:57,352
Greetings, all.
147
00:12:57,490 --> 00:13:00,926
I guess my invitation to the wedding rerun
was misplaced.
148
00:13:00,993 --> 00:13:03,223
But I thought I'd come by anyway.
149
00:13:03,763 --> 00:13:06,391
I'm guessing the bride
won't be wearing white.
150
00:13:07,700 --> 00:13:10,635
Jazz, the ceremony
isn't till tomorrow, man.
151
00:13:10,770 --> 00:13:12,863
Then I'll be spending the night.
152
00:13:13,806 --> 00:13:16,969
I hear the pool house
has a delightful northern exposure.
153
00:13:17,376 --> 00:13:20,470
Hilary, woman, draw me a bath.
154
00:13:22,048 --> 00:13:24,175
I wouldn't draw you a cartoon.
155
00:13:24,250 --> 00:13:26,810
- That's it. That's it. I'm out of here.
- Wait.
156
00:13:26,919 --> 00:13:28,386
Jazz, come here, man.
157
00:13:28,454 --> 00:13:31,355
Look, this is not the right time
to mess with Uncle Phil.
158
00:13:31,424 --> 00:13:33,654
He lost something really important.
159
00:13:33,726 --> 00:13:35,591
Geoffrey took it. I swear.
160
00:13:36,896 --> 00:13:40,889
Look, kids, you look down here.
I'm going to look for the ring upstairs.
161
00:13:40,967 --> 00:13:44,095
Give it up, big guy,
we've already looked everywhere.
162
00:13:44,303 --> 00:13:46,328
I'll give $100 to the first one who finds it.
163
00:13:46,405 --> 00:13:47,963
Now you're talking.
164
00:13:53,079 --> 00:13:54,444
My family.
165
00:13:55,715 --> 00:13:58,878
Can't live with 'em,
can't turn your back on 'em.
166
00:14:11,063 --> 00:14:12,792
Ouch! Oh, my eye!
167
00:14:13,599 --> 00:14:15,328
Will, are you okay?
168
00:14:16,569 --> 00:14:18,366
Here's your question.
169
00:14:18,805 --> 00:14:23,071
If your partner could name
only one person as his best friend...
170
00:14:23,576 --> 00:14:25,737
who would that special person be?
171
00:14:25,812 --> 00:14:28,838
Now, you have until the buzzer sounds
to think about it.
172
00:15:00,379 --> 00:15:02,609
Time is up.
All right, Carlton, let's hear your answer.
173
00:15:02,682 --> 00:15:06,846
Well, Bob, let's back it up for a moment
and define this thing called friendship.
174
00:15:06,919 --> 00:15:09,114
Y ou see, the ancient Mayans...
175
00:15:10,890 --> 00:15:12,585
Carlton, your time is up.
176
00:15:12,658 --> 00:15:15,718
Okay, Tyriq, who is Jazz's best friend?
177
00:15:17,029 --> 00:15:19,520
I'm sorry, Bob, this is a bad time.
178
00:16:37,910 --> 00:16:40,344
- Goodnight, Will.
- Y ou're grounded.
179
00:16:56,329 --> 00:16:59,765
All right, all right, all right.
Everybody out, come on.
180
00:17:03,035 --> 00:17:06,937
Look, the next step is
full-scale psychological warfare, right?
181
00:17:07,039 --> 00:17:09,974
Y ou gotta act like you got this tic, right?
182
00:17:10,176 --> 00:17:14,340
Like the army did this experiment on you,
right, that just went terribly wrong.
183
00:17:14,413 --> 00:17:16,711
Y ou're like, back up! Back up!
184
00:17:16,782 --> 00:17:19,683
Mind your business, that's all.
Mind your business.
185
00:17:21,387 --> 00:17:22,479
Okay.
186
00:17:23,155 --> 00:17:24,986
Back up! Back up!
187
00:17:25,858 --> 00:17:28,986
Mind your business, that's all,
just mind your business.
188
00:17:30,429 --> 00:17:33,023
I work all day trying
to keep this house nice for you.
189
00:17:33,099 --> 00:17:35,966
I cook and clean
and work my fingers to the bone.
190
00:17:36,035 --> 00:17:37,832
And this is the thanks I get?
191
00:17:37,937 --> 00:17:40,303
Well, I bust my hump at school all day...
192
00:17:40,373 --> 00:17:44,173
and you just sit around here watching
soap operas and eating bonbons.
193
00:17:45,177 --> 00:17:47,668
Well, excuse me for having a little fun.
194
00:17:47,813 --> 00:17:50,976
Maybe it's because
you never take me out anymore.
195
00:17:52,485 --> 00:17:56,114
Well, maybe I would
if you fixed yourself up a little bit.
196
00:17:57,723 --> 00:17:59,088
Wait a minute.
197
00:17:59,658 --> 00:18:01,853
We sound like an old married couple.
198
00:18:02,695 --> 00:18:04,219
So now I'm old.
199
00:18:07,033 --> 00:18:09,524
And I gave you the best years of my life.
200
00:18:14,040 --> 00:18:15,598
Look, I'm sorry.
201
00:19:25,444 --> 00:19:26,809
I'm hungry.
202
00:19:26,979 --> 00:19:29,209
Don't you have any more breath mints?
203
00:19:29,281 --> 00:19:32,011
No, you ate them all
without offering me one.
204
00:19:32,084 --> 00:19:35,679
- Can't have my toothpick, either.
- Did I ask you?
205
00:19:36,555 --> 00:19:38,785
Look, baby, why don't you
just look in the freezer...
206
00:19:38,858 --> 00:19:40,325
and see if there's something in there?
207
00:19:40,392 --> 00:19:42,792
- Would you look?
- Why don't you look?
208
00:19:42,862 --> 00:19:44,955
I thought you liked doing things for me.
209
00:19:45,030 --> 00:19:47,590
Y es, I did till you ate all my breath mints.
210
00:19:48,467 --> 00:19:51,368
Forget it, I don't need you
to do anything for me.
211
00:19:56,408 --> 00:19:57,898
Could you open this?
212
00:19:58,544 --> 00:20:00,671
Thought you ain't need me
to do nothing for you.
213
00:20:00,746 --> 00:20:02,236
Just open it.
214
00:20:03,082 --> 00:20:05,550
- What's the magic word?
- Now.
215
00:20:10,122 --> 00:20:11,316
Guess again.
216
00:20:15,027 --> 00:20:16,460
Here, look, I can't open this thing.
217
00:20:16,529 --> 00:20:18,827
I thought you're supposed to be
the big man.
218
00:20:18,898 --> 00:20:21,594
Look, you're the one who's hungry.
Use your fingernails.
219
00:20:21,667 --> 00:20:24,363
Look. Here.
220
00:20:25,771 --> 00:20:27,500
Knock yourself out.
221
00:20:42,488 --> 00:20:44,388
Any luck with the ring, Dad?
222
00:20:44,456 --> 00:20:47,152
No, but don't worry about it,
I figured it out.
223
00:20:47,359 --> 00:20:50,419
In the middle of the ceremony,
I'll fake a heart attack.
224
00:20:50,896 --> 00:20:53,364
Come on, Uncle Phil,
it didn't work on your wedding night...
225
00:20:53,432 --> 00:20:55,127
and it ain't going to work now.
226
00:20:57,503 --> 00:20:59,471
Here comes Hilary. Places.
227
00:21:04,276 --> 00:21:06,437
She looks so beautiful.
228
00:21:07,580 --> 00:21:08,911
Thank you.
229
00:21:09,014 --> 00:21:12,677
Not you. Mom.
Look, she fit into her wedding dress.
230
00:21:15,154 --> 00:21:17,622
Everybody, duck.
I think she's about to blow.
231
00:21:17,690 --> 00:21:18,782
Jazz!
232
00:21:23,262 --> 00:21:27,221
We're gathered here today
to renew the vows of holy matrimony...
233
00:21:27,866 --> 00:21:29,857
which is commended...
234
00:21:31,203 --> 00:21:33,967
- I didn't know you were so sentimental.
- I'm not.
235
00:21:34,974 --> 00:21:39,468
It's just, always a bridesmaid,
never a bride.
236
00:21:41,347 --> 00:21:45,147
Vivian Banks, do you take this man
to be your lawfully wedded husband?
237
00:21:46,352 --> 00:21:48,013
With all my heart.
238
00:21:48,120 --> 00:21:52,113
And do you, Philip Banks, take this
woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?
239
00:21:52,191 --> 00:21:54,182
- No, I don't.
- What?
240
00:21:54,960 --> 00:21:57,451
I take her for much more than that.
241
00:21:57,863 --> 00:21:59,387
For my lover...
242
00:21:59,698 --> 00:22:01,359
my life companion...
243
00:22:02,134 --> 00:22:03,863
my very best friend.
244
00:22:04,370 --> 00:22:05,598
Oh, Philip.
245
00:22:06,171 --> 00:22:07,661
May I have the ring, please?
246
00:22:07,740 --> 00:22:11,073
- Here it is, Daddy.
- I got one for you right here, buddy.
247
00:22:16,982 --> 00:22:18,950
Thanks, kids, but...
248
00:22:19,518 --> 00:22:22,681
Look, Vivian,
there's something I have to tell you.
249
00:22:22,755 --> 00:22:25,155
I lost my wedding ring.
250
00:22:25,758 --> 00:22:27,419
Y ou mean this one?
251
00:22:27,926 --> 00:22:28,950
Y ou found it!
252
00:22:29,028 --> 00:22:31,428
Y eah, I took it to have it inscribed.
See, look.
253
00:22:31,964 --> 00:22:34,364
"To a hundred years more."
254
00:22:35,367 --> 00:22:37,164
Now you may kiss the bride.19713
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