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0
00:00:18,697 --> 00:00:21,222
No, no, don't, please. Please, don't shoot.
1
00:00:25,037 --> 00:00:26,800
What's going on in here?
2
00:00:29,975 --> 00:00:32,808
Oh, my God. Geoffrey, don't move.
3
00:00:33,512 --> 00:00:35,412
There's a dart on your forehead.
4
00:00:36,748 --> 00:00:39,478
Really? I hadn't noticed.
5
00:00:40,586 --> 00:00:43,384
- Look, Carlton, Geoffrey's been shot.
- Cool.
6
00:00:43,455 --> 00:00:45,514
Y ou people don't pay me enough for this.
7
00:00:46,758 --> 00:00:48,350
Quiet, Geoffrey, you're dead.
8
00:00:48,427 --> 00:00:50,952
Then you couldn't possibly feel me do this.
9
00:00:55,934 --> 00:00:58,300
- Well, one down, three to go.
- Wait.
10
00:00:58,370 --> 00:01:00,270
Is anybody going to tell me
what's going on?
11
00:01:00,339 --> 00:01:01,397
We're playing Whodunnit.
12
00:01:01,473 --> 00:01:04,033
See, one of us is the killer,
and we have to find out who it is.
13
00:01:04,109 --> 00:01:05,371
I say, we already know.
14
00:01:05,444 --> 00:01:07,469
Y ou and I were together
in the other room, Ashley...
15
00:01:07,546 --> 00:01:09,741
and now Geoffrey's worm chow.
16
00:01:09,815 --> 00:01:12,807
So that leaves only one suspect.
17
00:01:13,151 --> 00:01:14,743
Honey, I'm home.
18
00:01:15,420 --> 00:01:16,944
Hey, Lucy.
19
00:01:19,291 --> 00:01:20,815
Ethel, hello.
20
00:01:21,827 --> 00:01:23,795
Look, it's little Ricky.
21
00:01:24,896 --> 00:01:26,261
Oh, y'all should go check outside.
22
00:01:26,331 --> 00:01:28,697
Somebody was trampling through
Aunt Viv's garden.
23
00:01:28,767 --> 00:01:30,257
Nice try, Will.
24
00:01:30,335 --> 00:01:32,895
Y ou got Geoffrey,
but you're not gonna get me alone.
25
00:01:32,971 --> 00:01:35,235
Come on, Ashley,
we're going to the bathroom.
26
00:01:39,111 --> 00:01:41,011
What is he talking about?
I ain't kill nobody.
27
00:01:41,079 --> 00:01:45,015
Y eah, and George Bush is really looking
forward to playing with his grandchildren.
28
00:01:52,524 --> 00:01:55,049
Man, this is whack.
Don't nobody believe me.
29
00:01:57,362 --> 00:01:59,091
But I bet you do, right?
30
00:03:27,051 --> 00:03:29,178
Good, Aunt Vivian. Good, Aunt Vivian.
31
00:03:29,987 --> 00:03:32,285
Here, beg for a Scooby Snack.
32
00:03:34,058 --> 00:03:35,082
Cut it out.
33
00:03:35,159 --> 00:03:38,356
I'm trying to practice my breathing
for Lamaze class.
34
00:03:39,597 --> 00:03:41,189
I don't know, Aunt Viv.
35
00:03:41,265 --> 00:03:42,630
Seem to me all that heavy breathing...
36
00:03:42,700 --> 00:03:45,464
is what got you in this mess
in the first place.
37
00:03:45,536 --> 00:03:47,265
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
38
00:03:47,404 --> 00:03:49,065
- Hello, sweetheart.
- Hi, honey.
39
00:03:49,140 --> 00:03:50,266
- Hi, Will.
- Hey, Uncle Phil.
40
00:03:50,341 --> 00:03:51,706
Y ou ready for your Lamaze class?
41
00:03:51,776 --> 00:03:54,142
Philip, you mean,
you actually wanna take me?
42
00:03:54,211 --> 00:03:57,840
I was waiting for some lame excuse.
Last week, you said your dog died.
43
00:03:57,915 --> 00:04:00,975
- He did.
- Philip, he died 20 years ago.
44
00:04:01,051 --> 00:04:02,075
Still hurts.
45
00:04:03,621 --> 00:04:04,679
Hey, hey, hey. Come on, Aunt Viv.
46
00:04:04,755 --> 00:04:07,053
Now this is the most straight-up,
honest dude I know.
47
00:04:07,124 --> 00:04:10,093
The day that he lies to you,
may all my hair fall out.
48
00:04:10,161 --> 00:04:12,686
Thank you, Will. Come on, sweetheart,
we don't want to be late.
49
00:04:12,763 --> 00:04:14,856
- Okay.
- Okay, let me get the bags here.
50
00:04:15,666 --> 00:04:16,655
Philip.
51
00:04:18,035 --> 00:04:21,004
- Philip, what's the matter?
- It's my back, went out.
52
00:04:21,071 --> 00:04:22,470
Y ou know, I think maybe...
53
00:04:22,540 --> 00:04:25,008
if I could lay down on the couch
for a couple of hours...
54
00:04:25,075 --> 00:04:26,838
you know?
55
00:04:27,912 --> 00:04:30,710
Oh, my God, is my hairline receding?
56
00:04:32,817 --> 00:04:33,909
Come on, Philip, sit down.
57
00:04:33,984 --> 00:04:37,044
Now, Will, we all know
your uncle's got back problems.
58
00:04:37,121 --> 00:04:41,114
Now, relax, sweetheart.
Okay, I'll go to class again, alone.
59
00:04:41,625 --> 00:04:44,025
Will, would you take my duffel bag
out to the car for me?
60
00:04:44,094 --> 00:04:45,857
Y eah, that's fine, Aunt Viv.
61
00:05:07,251 --> 00:05:08,343
Y es!
62
00:05:12,623 --> 00:05:14,420
Freeze, bubble-butt!
63
00:05:18,229 --> 00:05:20,197
This could get ugly.
64
00:05:20,264 --> 00:05:22,528
Philip, what do you have to say
for yourself?
65
00:05:25,769 --> 00:05:28,260
Good answer, Admiral Stockdale.
66
00:05:30,741 --> 00:05:33,141
Philip, this is very important to me.
67
00:05:33,210 --> 00:05:35,770
After all, you missed all the other births
of your other children.
68
00:05:35,846 --> 00:05:36,870
Well, it wasn't my fault.
69
00:05:36,947 --> 00:05:38,972
Fathers weren't allowed
in the delivery room back then.
70
00:05:39,049 --> 00:05:41,574
They are now, and I would like you
to share this experience.
71
00:05:41,652 --> 00:05:42,778
Well, I intend to.
72
00:05:42,853 --> 00:05:44,980
I will be pacing up and down
in the waiting room...
73
00:05:45,055 --> 00:05:46,352
where a man's supposed to be.
74
00:05:46,423 --> 00:05:49,756
- Fine. If that's the way you feel, forget it!
- Wait, Vivian.
75
00:05:54,298 --> 00:05:57,290
- And what's your problem?
- Don't be trying to make up with me now.
76
00:05:59,603 --> 00:06:00,695
I'm all pregnant.
77
00:06:00,771 --> 00:06:03,797
My feet, my back, and stuff hurt,
and you being all insensitive.
78
00:06:06,310 --> 00:06:08,244
Here's our little mother.
79
00:06:08,312 --> 00:06:12,112
There we go, madam, a nice glass of milk.
80
00:06:12,349 --> 00:06:16,308
- Got to keep our strength up, eh?
- Back off, Geoffrey.
81
00:06:16,654 --> 00:06:18,622
Pop a Midol.
82
00:06:18,722 --> 00:06:22,249
Geoffrey, I'm sorry. I'm just a little upset
with Mr. Banks, that's all.
83
00:06:22,426 --> 00:06:24,860
He refuses to be my Lamaze coach.
84
00:06:25,129 --> 00:06:26,596
So...
85
00:06:27,364 --> 00:06:30,356
I'm gonna need one of you kids
to go with me.
86
00:06:31,335 --> 00:06:34,600
- Sorry, homework.
- Tennis lesson.
87
00:06:34,905 --> 00:06:36,736
I just don't want to.
88
00:06:39,677 --> 00:06:42,578
Madam, are you sure
you want another one?
89
00:06:44,081 --> 00:06:46,174
Wait a minute, here.
Look, what is the matter with y'all?
90
00:06:46,250 --> 00:06:48,775
I mean, this is your mother.
She's having a baby.
91
00:06:52,122 --> 00:06:54,920
Look, Aunt Viv, if I was one of your kids...
92
00:06:54,992 --> 00:06:57,620
I'd be short with a square head...
93
00:07:00,631 --> 00:07:03,361
but I'd be more than happy
to be your coach.
94
00:07:05,302 --> 00:07:08,465
Aunt Viv, it was a joke.
Y ou can't take a joke?
95
00:07:08,539 --> 00:07:10,837
Come on, Will.
I'm gonna be doing all the work.
96
00:07:10,908 --> 00:07:13,399
All you have to do is cheer me on.
Come on.
97
00:07:14,078 --> 00:07:17,775
Well, that's cool. Go, Vivian.
Get busy, have a baby.
98
00:07:17,848 --> 00:07:21,215
- See you later.
- Will, come on, stop it.
99
00:07:21,285 --> 00:07:23,913
Honey, this is a classroom,
not a delivery room.
100
00:07:23,988 --> 00:07:27,583
There's nothing here to embarrass you.
Come on.
101
00:07:32,396 --> 00:07:35,854
- Aunt Viv, you naked yet?
- Will, would you calm down?
102
00:07:35,966 --> 00:07:38,366
No one is gonna get naked. Come on.
103
00:07:49,980 --> 00:07:52,540
Whoa, Aunt Viv, who is she?
104
00:07:53,017 --> 00:07:56,111
Man, she is all that. She's fine.
105
00:07:56,887 --> 00:07:59,048
She's one of The Fat Boys.
106
00:08:01,525 --> 00:08:03,584
- Hi, Danny.
- Hey, Viv.
107
00:08:03,660 --> 00:08:05,651
How are you?
108
00:08:06,063 --> 00:08:09,829
Hey, you know, can you do me a favor?
I have not seen my feet since Lent.
109
00:08:09,900 --> 00:08:12,733
Can you tell me, do my shoes match?
110
00:08:12,970 --> 00:08:14,597
No.
111
00:08:15,172 --> 00:08:16,196
Damn.
112
00:08:16,807 --> 00:08:17,796
Well...
113
00:08:18,709 --> 00:08:21,701
- I see Phil stood you up again, huh?
- Right.
114
00:08:21,779 --> 00:08:25,010
- Who's the designated hitter?
- This is my nephew.
115
00:08:26,283 --> 00:08:28,979
- How you doing? I'm Will.
- Danny Mitchell.
116
00:08:29,787 --> 00:08:32,984
So I guess your husband
will be showing up any minute, huh?
117
00:08:33,057 --> 00:08:36,823
- No, he's in Mexico.
- On vacation?
118
00:08:36,927 --> 00:08:38,758
No, on his secretary.
119
00:08:39,463 --> 00:08:41,328
But don't worry,
he's not having a good time.
120
00:08:41,398 --> 00:08:44,424
I filled his thong with BenGay.
121
00:08:45,736 --> 00:08:48,136
Remind me to stay
on your good side, Danny.
122
00:08:49,306 --> 00:08:50,671
Will, what's so funny?
123
00:08:50,741 --> 00:08:54,973
It's just that a dude named Danny Mitchell
is my favorite sportswriter.
124
00:08:55,712 --> 00:08:58,738
- Well, you know, I could introduce you.
- Word?
125
00:08:58,816 --> 00:09:00,181
Hey, how you doing?
126
00:09:02,319 --> 00:09:03,946
Y ou're the Danny Mitchell?
127
00:09:04,188 --> 00:09:06,850
Wait, hold it. I heard Charles Barkley
on the radio talking about...
128
00:09:06,924 --> 00:09:08,915
him and Danny was gonna rumble
in the parking lot...
129
00:09:08,992 --> 00:09:10,050
after the Laker game.
130
00:09:10,360 --> 00:09:12,260
He won't show up, that wuss.
131
00:09:12,763 --> 00:09:14,822
All righty, coaches...
132
00:09:14,898 --> 00:09:17,458
let's get our mommies in a comfy position.
133
00:09:18,001 --> 00:09:19,468
- Will?
- What?
134
00:09:20,304 --> 00:09:22,295
That's right. I'm sorry, Aunt Viv.
135
00:09:24,241 --> 00:09:25,799
- That's good.
- Are you all right?
136
00:09:26,276 --> 00:09:29,939
- Y ou need some help there, Danny?
- Why, you got a forklift?
137
00:09:31,882 --> 00:09:33,645
- Will?
- What?
138
00:09:33,717 --> 00:09:36,049
Aren't you forgetting something?
139
00:09:36,120 --> 00:09:38,816
I'm sorry, Aunt Viv. Hey, thanks a lot.
140
00:09:41,758 --> 00:09:43,749
I'll help you, Vivian.
141
00:09:45,062 --> 00:09:47,189
Now, I apologize.
142
00:09:47,264 --> 00:09:51,132
Y ou were right. I have a responsibility,
and I need to be here tonight.
143
00:09:51,535 --> 00:09:52,559
No, you don't.
144
00:09:52,636 --> 00:09:55,730
Y ou just don't want to sleep
on the couch, Philip.
145
00:09:55,806 --> 00:09:58,673
I hate sleeping on that thing. It's all lumpy.
146
00:09:58,742 --> 00:10:02,576
Remember, partners,
lots of touching and hugging.
147
00:10:08,085 --> 00:10:10,713
Show each other how you really feel.
148
00:10:13,257 --> 00:10:16,920
- I showed up, didn't I?
- Y eah, Philip, for all the wrong reasons.
149
00:10:16,994 --> 00:10:18,427
What is your problem, honey?
150
00:10:18,495 --> 00:10:22,022
Having a baby is spiritual, and wonderful,
and miraculous.
151
00:10:22,099 --> 00:10:24,659
It doesn't sound miraculous.
It sounds yucky.
152
00:10:24,735 --> 00:10:26,862
Y ou should have thought
about that seven months ago...
153
00:10:26,937 --> 00:10:30,168
- before that second bottle of wine, Philip.
- Wait a minute.
154
00:10:30,240 --> 00:10:34,677
Vivian. Vivian, wait a minute.
Vivian, come on.
155
00:10:34,745 --> 00:10:36,576
Hey, Uncle Phil, how's your back?
156
00:10:38,649 --> 00:10:42,176
- Are they always like this?
- No, sometimes they fight.
157
00:10:43,387 --> 00:10:45,651
Look, you better go out.
They might need a ref.
158
00:10:45,722 --> 00:10:48,213
No, that's cool.
I'll stay here and help you out.
159
00:10:48,292 --> 00:10:49,316
Great.
160
00:10:50,961 --> 00:10:53,054
Will, I guess I owe you one.
161
00:10:53,130 --> 00:10:56,531
Y ou know what? I am covering
the Laker game on Saturday night.
162
00:10:56,600 --> 00:11:00,468
- Y ou want to watch from the press box?
- From the press box?
163
00:11:03,840 --> 00:11:05,102
Okay, I can't breathe.
164
00:11:07,211 --> 00:11:10,840
Okay, come on. Lie back here.
Okay, take it slow. Take it slow.
165
00:11:10,914 --> 00:11:12,848
Breathe deeply. Breathe deeply.
166
00:11:13,650 --> 00:11:15,777
Okay, focus. Focus with me.
167
00:11:29,834 --> 00:11:32,325
Heck of a game, huh?
Can I get you anything else?
168
00:11:32,403 --> 00:11:34,564
- No, thanks, Tone. This is fine.
- Cool.
169
00:11:35,540 --> 00:11:39,567
- Nothing for you, Will?
- No, thanks.
170
00:11:39,644 --> 00:11:41,509
I'm still tripping over that game.
171
00:11:41,579 --> 00:11:44,548
It was hype. Like, Worthy passes to Vlade.
172
00:11:44,615 --> 00:11:47,607
Vlade back to Byron Scott.
Byron Scott back to Vlade.
173
00:11:47,685 --> 00:11:51,121
Vlade gets the ball back to Worthy.
Worthy gets it, stuffs, pop.
174
00:11:51,189 --> 00:11:54,249
The Lakers win the game!
The Lakers win the game!
175
00:11:55,126 --> 00:11:57,253
Y ou know what the high point
of the game was for me, huh?
176
00:11:57,328 --> 00:12:00,456
What? When you punched Jack Nicholson
in the nose for touching your stomach?
177
00:12:04,101 --> 00:12:05,261
Indigestion.
178
00:12:06,337 --> 00:12:09,829
I guess I shouldn't have had
that third chili dog, huh?
179
00:12:14,979 --> 00:12:16,913
So what's with this free-trade agreement?
180
00:12:16,981 --> 00:12:19,779
They gonna set it up demographically,
or what?
181
00:12:20,852 --> 00:12:22,410
Tony, why aren't you driving?
182
00:12:22,487 --> 00:12:24,921
'Cause nobody else is.
The parking lot's all jammed up.
183
00:12:24,989 --> 00:12:27,184
Y ou gonna eat those fries?
184
00:12:29,494 --> 00:12:32,657
- What? What's the matter?
- My water broke.
185
00:12:33,431 --> 00:12:36,400
That's cool. We got another one,
right here in the fridge.
186
00:12:36,901 --> 00:12:37,890
No, no.
187
00:12:38,836 --> 00:12:41,202
I mean, I think I'm having the baby.
188
00:12:42,573 --> 00:12:46,236
I just had the car cleaned.
Can't you hold it for a couple of hours?
189
00:12:49,347 --> 00:12:51,747
I think that means, "No, Tone."
Do something, man!
190
00:12:51,816 --> 00:12:54,011
Y ou think I got time to Scotchgard?
191
00:12:55,653 --> 00:12:59,885
- The woman's having a baby, you idiot.
- Hey, I have feelings, you know.
192
00:12:59,957 --> 00:13:04,894
- Hey, I'm sorry, Tone. Hey, Tone...
- Will, I need you. Stay.
193
00:13:04,962 --> 00:13:06,953
All right, it's cool, Danny.
194
00:13:07,598 --> 00:13:10,328
All right, I know exactly what to do.
195
00:13:11,369 --> 00:13:15,601
Help! Help!
196
00:13:23,848 --> 00:13:24,837
Help!
197
00:13:25,917 --> 00:13:27,680
Help!
198
00:13:28,819 --> 00:13:31,913
Damn you. I said, "Help!"
199
00:13:31,989 --> 00:13:34,150
Hey, is there a doctor in the parking lot?
200
00:13:34,225 --> 00:13:37,058
- I'm a doctor.
- Thank God.
201
00:13:37,128 --> 00:13:39,494
Look, Doc,
I got a lady in here having a baby.
202
00:13:39,564 --> 00:13:41,896
Y eah, you're going to have to climb
over that car.
203
00:13:41,966 --> 00:13:45,629
That's good. All right, come on.
Wait, yo, look out. Don't, man.
204
00:13:51,842 --> 00:13:54,174
Is there a doctor for the doctor?
205
00:13:58,783 --> 00:14:02,184
- Hey, how's it going, Danny?
- Not too bad.
206
00:14:02,253 --> 00:14:06,087
It's kind of like trying to squeeze
Della Reese out of a Hyundai!
207
00:14:07,758 --> 00:14:10,625
All right, it's cool.
All right, look, I'm calling 911.
208
00:14:10,695 --> 00:14:13,926
911! 911!
209
00:14:14,298 --> 00:14:17,426
Don't bother. We're in wall-to-wall traffic.
210
00:14:17,501 --> 00:14:20,095
No ambulance can get through this.
211
00:14:26,744 --> 00:14:30,305
Wait, here comes another one.
This time you better time me.
212
00:14:30,381 --> 00:14:31,871
All right.
213
00:14:36,921 --> 00:14:39,719
Oh, my God. They're 10 seconds apart.
Y ou're having a baby.
214
00:14:39,790 --> 00:14:41,121
Y ou think?
215
00:14:43,794 --> 00:14:46,991
Danny, all right, look, I know what to do.
I'll call Aunt Viv.
216
00:14:47,064 --> 00:14:49,464
- That's it, she'll know what to do.
- Okay.
217
00:14:53,804 --> 00:14:55,431
- Hello?
- Hi, Wi//.
218
00:14:55,506 --> 00:14:58,134
Wait, slow down. I can't understand you.
219
00:14:58,542 --> 00:15:00,840
No, I don't know where Mom is.
220
00:15:01,078 --> 00:15:02,909
Wait, what's the problem?
221
00:15:04,248 --> 00:15:06,876
Sure. Look, Will,
I don't have time for your little pranks.
222
00:15:06,951 --> 00:15:09,215
I have a date.
223
00:15:10,187 --> 00:15:11,449
What are you doing?
224
00:15:11,522 --> 00:15:14,286
Look, I'm not even playing
that stupid murder game, so...
225
00:15:14,358 --> 00:15:16,087
Look, don't aim that thing at me.
226
00:15:16,160 --> 00:15:18,025
Hilary, are you there?
227
00:15:21,666 --> 00:15:23,361
Well, I hope you're all happy.
228
00:15:23,434 --> 00:15:26,426
Now I'm gonna have a big, ugly, red circle
in the middle of my forehead.
229
00:15:26,504 --> 00:15:28,938
I'll look just like Carlton's
yearbook picture.
230
00:15:31,542 --> 00:15:34,909
Hilary, no, don't hang up! Hilary.
231
00:15:36,681 --> 00:15:41,209
- Danny, what are we gonna do?
- This is unbelievable.
232
00:15:41,585 --> 00:15:44,247
I'm going through all this
in the back of a limo...
233
00:15:44,321 --> 00:15:47,620
because of what went on
in the back of my Jeep.
234
00:15:50,227 --> 00:15:51,717
Wow, I got to get me a Jeep.
235
00:15:58,235 --> 00:16:02,365
Look, Danny,
can you do me, like, one real big favor?
236
00:16:02,440 --> 00:16:05,932
- Sure, what is it?
- Please don't have this baby now!
237
00:16:06,377 --> 00:16:08,004
Relax. Relax.
238
00:16:08,079 --> 00:16:12,311
I took the classes. I read the books.
I can handle it, yeah.
239
00:16:12,383 --> 00:16:15,443
I can't take it! I can't take it!
I can't take it!
240
00:16:21,659 --> 00:16:23,684
Help!
241
00:16:23,761 --> 00:16:26,525
Sorry, buddy,
there ain't no doctor out here.
242
00:16:26,597 --> 00:16:29,293
Hey, man, I don't need a doctor,
I need an exorcist.
243
00:16:33,070 --> 00:16:37,063
Will, there's a bottle of Dom Perignon
over in the bar over there.
244
00:16:37,141 --> 00:16:38,540
Get it.
245
00:16:38,709 --> 00:16:40,574
I don't think so, Danny.
246
00:16:40,644 --> 00:16:43,204
Y ou seem like you might be
kind of a mean drunk.
247
00:16:44,081 --> 00:16:45,241
I don't want to drink it.
248
00:16:45,316 --> 00:16:47,876
I want you to smack me
over the head with it!
249
00:16:48,285 --> 00:16:51,152
- What?
- Just until I pass out.
250
00:16:52,556 --> 00:16:56,287
This baby's on its way,
and I think it's bringing luggage.
251
00:16:57,728 --> 00:17:01,164
It can't be on its way now.
Y ou've only been in labor for 10 minutes.
252
00:17:01,232 --> 00:17:03,826
Tell him. He's coming!
253
00:17:03,901 --> 00:17:07,860
- Get out of my way.
- Wait, Danny, where are you going?
254
00:17:08,873 --> 00:17:10,135
If I run really fast...
255
00:17:10,207 --> 00:17:13,370
I can get back to the Forum
and have my baby on the floor...
256
00:17:13,444 --> 00:17:17,039
- of a ladies' room with some dignity.
- Wait, Danny, wait. Hold on.
257
00:17:17,114 --> 00:17:19,309
All right, you win.
Where's that champagne bottle?
258
00:17:21,085 --> 00:17:22,245
Y o, guess who?
259
00:17:22,319 --> 00:17:24,514
Not now, man.
We got an emergency in here.
260
00:17:24,588 --> 00:17:27,648
Hence, Dr. Finkelbaum.
261
00:17:27,825 --> 00:17:29,622
- Hey, you a doctor, man?
- Y eah.
262
00:17:29,693 --> 00:17:32,491
I love you, man. I love you. Move.
263
00:17:32,563 --> 00:17:35,031
So what seems to be the problem here?
264
00:17:35,366 --> 00:17:38,699
I broke a nail. What the hell do you think?
265
00:17:39,470 --> 00:17:42,928
- Lie back.
- Just relax, Danny. He's here to help you.
266
00:17:43,007 --> 00:17:44,497
Hey, Tone, what took you so long?
267
00:17:44,575 --> 00:17:47,510
I was looking for a doctor,
and I found an M.D. License plate.
268
00:17:47,578 --> 00:17:51,537
I yanked the guy out of his car, and then
I realized M.D. Stands for Mike Ditka.
269
00:17:52,116 --> 00:17:53,981
Fortunately,
the car he threw me up against...
270
00:17:54,051 --> 00:17:56,611
belonged to Dr. Finkelbaum, here.
271
00:17:56,687 --> 00:17:59,622
- Is this the lady having a baby?
- Y eah. Hey, thanks a lot.
272
00:17:59,690 --> 00:18:01,715
Right this way, man.
We got some sodas in the fridge.
273
00:18:01,792 --> 00:18:04,283
I called him from Finkelbaum's car.
274
00:18:06,363 --> 00:18:08,331
I called him from Ditka's car.
275
00:18:08,899 --> 00:18:11,800
Come on in. We got some brews,
a little bit of Malt Duck.
276
00:18:13,704 --> 00:18:16,172
Get this kid out of me.
277
00:18:16,540 --> 00:18:19,703
I got to make a phone call.
I suddenly miss my mother.
278
00:18:25,349 --> 00:18:28,785
Danny, thanks for a wonderful evening.
I'll call you.
279
00:18:28,853 --> 00:18:31,515
Oh, no, Will, don't leave me.
280
00:18:33,457 --> 00:18:36,893
All right, Danny.
I'll stay here, and I'll help you focus.
281
00:18:36,961 --> 00:18:39,987
Focus? I don't want to focus. I want drugs!
282
00:18:40,064 --> 00:18:42,931
Now, get out in that parking lot and score!
283
00:18:44,335 --> 00:18:45,324
Here we go.
284
00:18:46,837 --> 00:18:50,000
It's Danny, isn't it? Bear down.
285
00:18:54,178 --> 00:18:56,976
Danny, think of it
as the World Series, all right?
286
00:18:57,047 --> 00:18:59,538
All right, Alomar is rounding third.
Here comes the throw.
287
00:18:59,617 --> 00:19:03,314
- Slide, Danny, slide.
- Here comes your baby, Danny.
288
00:19:03,387 --> 00:19:04,649
Push!
289
00:19:14,765 --> 00:19:17,700
Here you are, Danny.
A beautiful healthy boy.
290
00:19:24,008 --> 00:19:25,566
Y ou want to hold him?
291
00:19:25,643 --> 00:19:29,545
No. No, thanks. I'll wait till somebody
run him through a car wash or something.
292
00:19:32,316 --> 00:19:35,479
- Come here, man.
- Y eah, calm him down.
293
00:19:38,789 --> 00:19:42,316
Get busy. Put your thing down.
It's your birthday.
294
00:19:45,162 --> 00:19:47,858
It's been one hell of a night, huh, Danny?
295
00:19:48,198 --> 00:19:51,133
And, look,
I went and saved the best for last.
296
00:19:51,602 --> 00:19:53,934
Y es, I did. Y es, I did.
297
00:20:03,247 --> 00:20:05,545
Y o, yo, yo. Anybody home?
298
00:20:07,117 --> 00:20:08,175
Shabba!
299
00:20:17,094 --> 00:20:18,891
Get off me, man.
300
00:20:21,231 --> 00:20:24,098
Uncle Phil, what are you doing
sleeping on the couch?
301
00:20:24,168 --> 00:20:26,966
My chiropractor recommended it.
302
00:20:27,104 --> 00:20:30,505
As you know, Will, I have a separation
in my lower lumbar area...
303
00:20:30,607 --> 00:20:33,508
- and the couch is perfect to align my...
- She threw you out, huh?
304
00:20:33,577 --> 00:20:36,239
Y ou got that right.
305
00:20:37,581 --> 00:20:40,550
- Hear you had a pretty full night, too, huh?
- Oh, man.
306
00:20:41,085 --> 00:20:44,213
Uncle Phil, I got to tell you,
when Danny went into labor, man...
307
00:20:44,288 --> 00:20:47,314
- I was trying to get the heck out of there.
- I heard that.
308
00:20:47,725 --> 00:20:49,215
But then it was, like...
309
00:20:49,293 --> 00:20:54,253
All of a sudden, it was
a little alive wiggly thing, you know?
310
00:20:54,465 --> 00:20:58,458
Ten fingers, and ten toes, and everything.
It was so small.
311
00:20:59,103 --> 00:21:03,199
I was the first person the baby saw,
you know, upside down.
312
00:21:05,009 --> 00:21:08,501
- Sounds like quite an experience, Will.
- It was.
313
00:21:10,447 --> 00:21:12,642
I'm gonna go give Danny a call
at the hospital.
314
00:21:12,716 --> 00:21:16,174
See how little
Jackie Robinson Mitchell is doing, huh?
315
00:21:16,253 --> 00:21:18,414
- Good night, Uncle Phil.
- Good night, Will.
316
00:21:20,257 --> 00:21:23,522
Well, bet you feel like a big dope, huh?
317
00:21:28,332 --> 00:21:31,062
Vivian, I made a decision.
318
00:21:33,604 --> 00:21:36,266
I really want to be in the room
when you give birth.
319
00:21:36,940 --> 00:21:39,272
Not just because you want me there...
320
00:21:40,677 --> 00:21:45,307
but because I want to be the first person
our baby sees upside down.
321
00:21:47,451 --> 00:21:50,716
Philip, that's a beautiful thing to say.
322
00:21:51,355 --> 00:21:55,348
But, I'm afraid, honey,
that I'm gonna have to kill you, anyway.
323
00:21:57,061 --> 00:21:59,655
No, Viv. No, Vivian!
324
00:22:08,472 --> 00:22:11,669
And, look,
I went and saved the best for last.26105
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